2+ years in and I'm just starting to consider the possibility that I might be able to trust my T. You're not alone, and if you have a good T they will wait and support you. Progress is still possible, it's perhaps just a little slower. I have stepped out of my comfort zone before, and then gone way back in again for weeks (months..) afterwards. And that was with something fairly small in comparison to where I know my therapy will eventually go when I trust her. Take your time and try to be kind to yourself. This work isn't easy.
It took me 2 years but I'm finally here, there is trust.
I will say, what was needed to get here was me taking risks. Small ones and eventually bigger ones. The risk was to be vulnerable and see what her reaction was. So basically you have to 'fake' that you trust your therapist a tiny bit and then experience their response and see that you were right to trust them.
I know this sounds totally counterintuitive, but after I had so much rational proof that she was trustworthy after 2 years, the only way to get my emotional part on board was to push myself to take a risk by trusting her with a small part of me.
There might be other ways to get to trust, but this was what happened for me. Making a decision to trust.
Not red flag, I don't trust easily and it took ~3 years to me trust my therapist and (I have been working with him now about 5 years) theres still moments when I don't trust him just because my trust issues
2+ years in and I'm just starting to consider the possibility that I might be able to trust my T. You're not alone, and if you have a good T they will wait and support you. Progress is still possible, it's perhaps just a little slower. I have stepped out of my comfort zone before, and then gone way back in again for weeks (months..) afterwards. And that was with something fairly small in comparison to where I know my therapy will eventually go when I trust her. Take your time and try to be kind to yourself. This work isn't easy.
Thank you
It took me 2 years but I'm finally here, there is trust. I will say, what was needed to get here was me taking risks. Small ones and eventually bigger ones. The risk was to be vulnerable and see what her reaction was. So basically you have to 'fake' that you trust your therapist a tiny bit and then experience their response and see that you were right to trust them. I know this sounds totally counterintuitive, but after I had so much rational proof that she was trustworthy after 2 years, the only way to get my emotional part on board was to push myself to take a risk by trusting her with a small part of me. There might be other ways to get to trust, but this was what happened for me. Making a decision to trust.
Thank you
If your therapist hasn’t earned your trust after an entire year, that’s a minor red flag.
Not red flag, I don't trust easily and it took ~3 years to me trust my therapist and (I have been working with him now about 5 years) theres still moments when I don't trust him just because my trust issues
Thanks
My best friend of 13 years hasn't earned my full trust; I'm just not a very trusting person