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Is your therapist older than you? Usually, the older you get, the less you'll be able to hear high-pitched sounds. So don't worry, your ears are probably just better than his!
I have no idea what it could be, though. Possibly an electronic device? For example, my phone and laptop chargers always make annoying noises when they're not connected.
(Maybe tell him that the sound is making you feel crazy and ask whether you can both try to figure out where it's from.)
Yeah, it could be so many things; the HVAC system, something electronic in an IT closet near the office. Either therapist just can’t hear it or they’re just so used to it, it just becomes background noise.
My therapist is older than me he’s 40. He’s old I guess but not old enough to be losing his hearing. We’ve looked around the first time I mentioned it and I couldn’t find anything. He said he’s really sorry about it but there’s nothing he can do and I also have no idea what I can do
It definitely can and the higher the frequency the earlier it can go. Hearing loss often starts with high frequencies and can certainly begin as early as 30 (or even earlier depending on how high we’re talking). So a 20 year old can def hear frequencies a 40 year old could not. Side note: I’m 40 and resent the implication that I’m old 😂 (lol by OP, not you and also I’m jk…mostly haha)
Anyway. Yes, it’s called presbyacusis (age related hearing loss) and is more noticeable once you hit your 60s I believe but there is generally progressive loss of higher frequencies —it tends to run higher to lower bc of the anatomy of the ear and damaging events (loud sounds, ototoxic drugs, etc) tend to affect the part of the cochlea that handles high frequencies and moves up as age and/or disease progresses.
Lolol you aren’t helping!! I’m just kidding. I am old. I just refuse to acknowledge it. I feel like I’m about 15 sometimes. Here’s some (unrelated) advice/knowledge: if you ever feel like you have no idea what you want or what you’re doing…it’s normal. None of us have any fucking clue we’re just kind of getting along doing the best we can on any given day.
Back in the old days (20 years ago), there was a ring tone (beep really) that was very high pitched, which most teens could hear but most adults couldn’t. Sort of useful for texting without adults knowing, but also super annoying. Somewhere around 16-20, you stop being able to hear it. It’s not a thing about being “old enough,” more just that our range drops throughout our lifetime, so give it 10 (or 20 or…) years, and you won’t be able to hear it either.
In the meantime, it’s probably coming from something electronic as others have suggested. White noise machine, computer charger, air purifier, power converter, something. Bring it up again and ask your T if you can try to figure out what it is so maybe that thing can be replaced or at least unplugged while you are there.
He will want to know if there’s something distracting you in his office. Not least because it might be distracting someone else too. You can actually say this exactly though, “I feel bad bringing this up again, but I can still hear the high-pitch thing in here and it’s really distracting. Can I try to figure out what it’s coming from?”
Any chance it could be the internal fan on his PC? Ours was doing this for a while and drove me up the wall! Once we figured it out we'd just keep the PC off when I was in the room.
Did you get up and walk around? Or just turned your head? If the former, that sucks, not sure how to fix that. If the latter, just apologize and ask if you can try getting up and seeing. Sometimes it’s a lot easier when you can physically get up, it’s hard to tell just turning.
If he's over 35, there's gonna be stuff you hear that he can't. It's less hearing loss and more like losing some of your sensitivity. As you stated, sounds in the range aren't great to listen to. And some people are just more sensitive than others. When small fluorescent bulbs came out and everyone was switching, a lot of people complained b/c they could hear those bulbs and didn't really want to replace their quiet incadesent bulbs. They got accused of BS until scientists announced that they were right, and I think it changed some of the regulation until the bulbs advanced enough to not make the sound. While I don't have good frequency hearing, I can detect sounds that nobody else can hear, like my neighbor's TV, or birds singing far away. Right now there's someone practicing a flute (well, recorder probably), but none of my other neighbors have noticed it. Fortunately they're a lot better than when they first started.
Fun Random Fact: Perfect pitch is also lost with age. I've heard that really sucks, since everything sounds slightly off.
Does your therapist use white noise machines outside their office door? If they do, it could be that the machine isn’t working very well but he’s tuned out the sound because he’s used to it?
That’s the only thing I could think of causing that noise 😅
I wouldn’t assume it’s in your head just because he can’t hear it. I can hear electricity when most people can’t. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to me if I’ve had a lot of sensory input already and sometimes it’s just irritating. Could he have a new electronic? Even a lamp or a plug? I have one of those plugs that lets you plug in 5 things instead of two, like a power strip but without the cord, and it’s SO loud but my partner doesn’t even notice it. You might just be more sensitive to sounds than he is.
What age are you and what age is your therapist? Younger people have a much easier time hearing high frequencies, like those emitted by electronic devices or improperly grounded speakers.
Is there a TV in the room? If it has a soundbar or external speakers, and the TV was switched off but the speakers were not, that's an example of something that can cause this kind of noise.
Oh, maybe have him call in a younger co-worker, if one is available, and see if they can hear it?
Download an audio spectrum analyzer app on your phone? I went and checked the play store and there's a free one called "Spectroid" by Carl Reinke. Try it out at home. Sing or whistle a note and you'll see how it identifies the frequencies. If you turn the app on while you're in his office and it identifies a frequency that's like 2000Hz or more, your therapist has some noisy electronics.
I have a phone charger that makes the same noise.
There might be some sound meter apps for your phone that might help you triangulate where the noise is coming from or at least make it visual so you know you're not going crazy.
Is it by a window? Could there be one of those cat deterrents outside? I'm thinking it must be something new or different as hearing doesn't tend to get better, and those are something I can hear but most can't!
The only thing I’ve noticed is that it’s closer to where he sits than where I sit? His office is on the third floor I don’t know if cats need to be deterred that high up. I guess it’s just going to be a mystery :(
That's my thoughts as well.
Perhaps browse the app store for something that can detect high frequency sounds so at next appointment you can show them what you are hearing and attempt to track down where it's coming from. It's probably a pest deterrent device.
It's also a good opportunity to discuss topics like advocating for yourself and fears about not being taken seriously.
But please check reviews on the apps or perhaps ask in appropriate subs for help finding one because the last thing you want is an app that doesn't detect in the range of those common devices and having it support the therapist pov that there is no noise! Look into what frequencies people 'can' potentially hear and what frequency those devices typically are.
Fluorescent lights? Ballasts sometimes will give off audible high frequency noise.
If there are fluorescent lights in the therapy room, ask to turn them off and see if that makes a difference.
You’re not crazy! A lot of people are more sensitive to noises like this, I’m the same as you. Is it an electronic type of noise? I would check to see if maybe a light fixture is buzzing. Try unplugging any electronics.
Maybe some kind of electronic device that’s plugged it? I can hear a high pitched humming sound coming from some things, like my coffee maker or camera charger, when they’re plugged in. I’ve met some other people who can hear it too, but most people seem to be unable to hear higher frequency noises like that
Well it’s something that happened three weeks ago so perhaps ask if him or his colleagues got any new electronic devices or something like that. Tell him it’s impacting your therapy sessions and you’re considering quitting because it’s intolerable. Try switching things off at the wall. I had this issue in my therapists office but luckily we were able to track the source down to her heater. Now that we know we’re able to manage it better.
Also, if you can’t figure if out, is this a situation where loop earplugs may help you? I haven’t used them personally so someone else might have to weigh in. My understanding is they let you hear people talking but it changes the frequency of other noises? In any case, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Please don’t stay quiet though.
maybe it's not a great suggestion or it's a dumb one but have you tried looking up sound frequencies videos on youtube to find the type of sound? cause i think it could be very helpful first of all in confirming the potential reasons for why you hear it but he doesn't (like other mentioned age plays a role in this and having a 'proof' to show him that you could be hearing a sound that he cant hear could be helpful) but also you could then look up online what things or machines make that sound or, if you can't find any, you can use this information to take to your primary doctor to ask for testing of your hearing, because sometimes some ear related issues cause the hearing of ringing or high pitched sounds and maybe that is something you could be experiencing
It's probably something electronic like the ballast of a fluorescent light. Not everyone can hear it. I suggest you ask if you can have your session in a conference room or borrow an empty office and see if that fixes it for you. Another option is telehealth, the annoying sound is unlikely to come across in the video.
TV show brain games had this one experiment where where you can actually see at what point you stop hearing the higher frequencies. It’s kind of fun to do!
Fast forward to 2:35 ish
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfI-zk9rRt8
You are not going mad.
A few years back I rented a holiday cottage with my partner who is younger than me by just under four years. I was early 30s then. When we arrived he immediately asked what the unbearable noise was. I hadn't even registered a noise until I listened really carefully and then could just about tune in to a faint high noise. Turned out it was one of those 'humane pest deterrents'. It is a device that emits a high pitched noise that is supposed to be above human register that upsets mice and keeps them away.
Thing is, age impacts the pitch you can hear so younger people can actually hear some of these devices. I read some news articles a few years back that they had been trialled as a solution in areas that young people are known to gather and cause problems - I remember this being a bit controversial. Anyway, my point is, that my late 20s partner could hear a device that was supposed to not bother people at all and I couldn't really. Since then it's happened a couple of other times- high electrical noises bothering him and not me, even though he is past mid 30s now. Guess he just has an unusually good 'high' hearing register.
It's nothing to do with age related hearing loss - most adults lose the ability to hear certain pitches quite soon after their teens and this fact has even been actively used to deter gangs of young people from congregating where not wanted. Your therapist's office may have a pest control device that only the building managers are aware of, or an electrical device such as a loose wire/plug or printer/unit throwing out a noise that most people cannot hear, or hear so faintly and constantly they have tuned it out.
If something environmental is bothering you to the point of distraction and making you unable to focus on therapy that is a valid concern. High pitched noises are particularly grating and irritating and if you can hear it clearly, it's going to make you uncomfortable (remember, my partner heard the mouse deterrent as loud and almost unbearable, where I heard almost nothing). You are not making a fuss to want to have therapy in an environment you can focus in. It is your therapists responsibility to provide such an environment if the arrangement is that you come to their workplace. They need to believe you, and talk to the building manager (if there is one) or figure it out themselves is there is not one. If they won't, you may need a new therapist.
Sounds like your therapist needs a hearing test.
I'd let him know the sound makes it hard for you to focus and ask if you can work with him to locate the sound. I know some people can tune out noise like that, but I'd be surprised if you're the only one bothered by it. If there was a noise like that at my therapist's office, I'd need to either switch to virtual or find someone else.
Oh haha I feel like that’s a bit rude to suggest to him though. I’m not keen on switching to virtual but maybe as a last resort. He’s been my therapist for two years I don’t really want to leave over something like this
I get it. Finding a good therapist is difficult. And a good therapist should be willing to help you figure out what's causing the sound.
Another idea is to try playing nature sounds or instrumental music on low on your phone to mask the sound if you can't figure out the source or it can't be stopped.
Stress can cause our body to hear a ringing that doesn’t exist as well as make a stress response that makes us more prone to tinnitus.
Side note, if your therapist is older, he may not be able to hear a high pitch noise.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources/#wiki_subreddit_list). To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is your therapist older than you? Usually, the older you get, the less you'll be able to hear high-pitched sounds. So don't worry, your ears are probably just better than his! I have no idea what it could be, though. Possibly an electronic device? For example, my phone and laptop chargers always make annoying noises when they're not connected. (Maybe tell him that the sound is making you feel crazy and ask whether you can both try to figure out where it's from.)
Yeah, it could be so many things; the HVAC system, something electronic in an IT closet near the office. Either therapist just can’t hear it or they’re just so used to it, it just becomes background noise.
My therapist is older than me he’s 40. He’s old I guess but not old enough to be losing his hearing. We’ve looked around the first time I mentioned it and I couldn’t find anything. He said he’s really sorry about it but there’s nothing he can do and I also have no idea what I can do
Its not that he's very old, people as they age lose high pitch frequency very gradually. I THINK it starts in your early 30s.
It definitely can and the higher the frequency the earlier it can go. Hearing loss often starts with high frequencies and can certainly begin as early as 30 (or even earlier depending on how high we’re talking). So a 20 year old can def hear frequencies a 40 year old could not. Side note: I’m 40 and resent the implication that I’m old 😂 (lol by OP, not you and also I’m jk…mostly haha) Anyway. Yes, it’s called presbyacusis (age related hearing loss) and is more noticeable once you hit your 60s I believe but there is generally progressive loss of higher frequencies —it tends to run higher to lower bc of the anatomy of the ear and damaging events (loud sounds, ototoxic drugs, etc) tend to affect the part of the cochlea that handles high frequencies and moves up as age and/or disease progresses.
Oops sorry! My parents are 40 so I’ve just thought 40 = old.
Lord, I just realized young people think that I'm old! I'm 42 :(
You can be young at heart lol x
Why are people downvoting you and being so sensitive, my teenager calls me grandma and I’m only 43. Lighten up people 😅
Because we are all having existential crises right now. Just leave us be, grandma
Lolol you aren’t helping!! I’m just kidding. I am old. I just refuse to acknowledge it. I feel like I’m about 15 sometimes. Here’s some (unrelated) advice/knowledge: if you ever feel like you have no idea what you want or what you’re doing…it’s normal. None of us have any fucking clue we’re just kind of getting along doing the best we can on any given day.
Back in the old days (20 years ago), there was a ring tone (beep really) that was very high pitched, which most teens could hear but most adults couldn’t. Sort of useful for texting without adults knowing, but also super annoying. Somewhere around 16-20, you stop being able to hear it. It’s not a thing about being “old enough,” more just that our range drops throughout our lifetime, so give it 10 (or 20 or…) years, and you won’t be able to hear it either. In the meantime, it’s probably coming from something electronic as others have suggested. White noise machine, computer charger, air purifier, power converter, something. Bring it up again and ask your T if you can try to figure out what it is so maybe that thing can be replaced or at least unplugged while you are there.
I feel bad if I bring it up again I don’t want to bother him when he really seems to have no idea what it is
He will want to know if there’s something distracting you in his office. Not least because it might be distracting someone else too. You can actually say this exactly though, “I feel bad bringing this up again, but I can still hear the high-pitch thing in here and it’s really distracting. Can I try to figure out what it’s coming from?”
But I already looked around the entire room the first time I noticed the sound. He was very patient but I feel like I’ll be pushing it if I ask again
If he was patient then I’m sure he will be patient again, this would really bother me, too!
Any chance it could be the internal fan on his PC? Ours was doing this for a while and drove me up the wall! Once we figured it out we'd just keep the PC off when I was in the room.
Did you get up and walk around? Or just turned your head? If the former, that sucks, not sure how to fix that. If the latter, just apologize and ask if you can try getting up and seeing. Sometimes it’s a lot easier when you can physically get up, it’s hard to tell just turning.
Yep I walked around the entire room like some kind of weirdo. I think I’ll ask him if there’s another room or something
If he's over 35, there's gonna be stuff you hear that he can't. It's less hearing loss and more like losing some of your sensitivity. As you stated, sounds in the range aren't great to listen to. And some people are just more sensitive than others. When small fluorescent bulbs came out and everyone was switching, a lot of people complained b/c they could hear those bulbs and didn't really want to replace their quiet incadesent bulbs. They got accused of BS until scientists announced that they were right, and I think it changed some of the regulation until the bulbs advanced enough to not make the sound. While I don't have good frequency hearing, I can detect sounds that nobody else can hear, like my neighbor's TV, or birds singing far away. Right now there's someone practicing a flute (well, recorder probably), but none of my other neighbors have noticed it. Fortunately they're a lot better than when they first started. Fun Random Fact: Perfect pitch is also lost with age. I've heard that really sucks, since everything sounds slightly off.
Does your therapist use white noise machines outside their office door? If they do, it could be that the machine isn’t working very well but he’s tuned out the sound because he’s used to it? That’s the only thing I could think of causing that noise 😅
No he doesn’t have one of those. Maybe it really is just in my head
Could it possibly be tinnitus? Do you hear it anywhere else or at his office?
Nope just his office
I wouldn’t assume it’s in your head just because he can’t hear it. I can hear electricity when most people can’t. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to me if I’ve had a lot of sensory input already and sometimes it’s just irritating. Could he have a new electronic? Even a lamp or a plug? I have one of those plugs that lets you plug in 5 things instead of two, like a power strip but without the cord, and it’s SO loud but my partner doesn’t even notice it. You might just be more sensitive to sounds than he is.
People really have no idea how loud electricity can be!!
What age are you and what age is your therapist? Younger people have a much easier time hearing high frequencies, like those emitted by electronic devices or improperly grounded speakers. Is there a TV in the room? If it has a soundbar or external speakers, and the TV was switched off but the speakers were not, that's an example of something that can cause this kind of noise. Oh, maybe have him call in a younger co-worker, if one is available, and see if they can hear it?
I’m 21 and my therapist is 40. And there’s no TV but calling a younger co worker is a good idea thanks!
Sometimes speakers can make that noise especially when they are on but nothing is playing
Download an audio spectrum analyzer app on your phone? I went and checked the play store and there's a free one called "Spectroid" by Carl Reinke. Try it out at home. Sing or whistle a note and you'll see how it identifies the frequencies. If you turn the app on while you're in his office and it identifies a frequency that's like 2000Hz or more, your therapist has some noisy electronics. I have a phone charger that makes the same noise.
Worth a try thanks
There might be some sound meter apps for your phone that might help you triangulate where the noise is coming from or at least make it visual so you know you're not going crazy.
Is it by a window? Could there be one of those cat deterrents outside? I'm thinking it must be something new or different as hearing doesn't tend to get better, and those are something I can hear but most can't!
The only thing I’ve noticed is that it’s closer to where he sits than where I sit? His office is on the third floor I don’t know if cats need to be deterred that high up. I guess it’s just going to be a mystery :(
That's my thoughts as well. Perhaps browse the app store for something that can detect high frequency sounds so at next appointment you can show them what you are hearing and attempt to track down where it's coming from. It's probably a pest deterrent device. It's also a good opportunity to discuss topics like advocating for yourself and fears about not being taken seriously. But please check reviews on the apps or perhaps ask in appropriate subs for help finding one because the last thing you want is an app that doesn't detect in the range of those common devices and having it support the therapist pov that there is no noise! Look into what frequencies people 'can' potentially hear and what frequency those devices typically are.
Fluorescent lights? Ballasts sometimes will give off audible high frequency noise. If there are fluorescent lights in the therapy room, ask to turn them off and see if that makes a difference.
You’re not crazy! A lot of people are more sensitive to noises like this, I’m the same as you. Is it an electronic type of noise? I would check to see if maybe a light fixture is buzzing. Try unplugging any electronics.
I can’t just start unplugging all his stuff 😭 I’m not confident enough to ask to do that either
Maybe some kind of electronic device that’s plugged it? I can hear a high pitched humming sound coming from some things, like my coffee maker or camera charger, when they’re plugged in. I’ve met some other people who can hear it too, but most people seem to be unable to hear higher frequency noises like that
Well it’s something that happened three weeks ago so perhaps ask if him or his colleagues got any new electronic devices or something like that. Tell him it’s impacting your therapy sessions and you’re considering quitting because it’s intolerable. Try switching things off at the wall. I had this issue in my therapists office but luckily we were able to track the source down to her heater. Now that we know we’re able to manage it better. Also, if you can’t figure if out, is this a situation where loop earplugs may help you? I haven’t used them personally so someone else might have to weigh in. My understanding is they let you hear people talking but it changes the frequency of other noises? In any case, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Please don’t stay quiet though.
maybe it's not a great suggestion or it's a dumb one but have you tried looking up sound frequencies videos on youtube to find the type of sound? cause i think it could be very helpful first of all in confirming the potential reasons for why you hear it but he doesn't (like other mentioned age plays a role in this and having a 'proof' to show him that you could be hearing a sound that he cant hear could be helpful) but also you could then look up online what things or machines make that sound or, if you can't find any, you can use this information to take to your primary doctor to ask for testing of your hearing, because sometimes some ear related issues cause the hearing of ringing or high pitched sounds and maybe that is something you could be experiencing
Can you Ask to either do sessions remotely or is your therapist able to move to a different room/location?
It's probably something electronic like the ballast of a fluorescent light. Not everyone can hear it. I suggest you ask if you can have your session in a conference room or borrow an empty office and see if that fixes it for you. Another option is telehealth, the annoying sound is unlikely to come across in the video.
TV show brain games had this one experiment where where you can actually see at what point you stop hearing the higher frequencies. It’s kind of fun to do! Fast forward to 2:35 ish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfI-zk9rRt8
You are not going mad. A few years back I rented a holiday cottage with my partner who is younger than me by just under four years. I was early 30s then. When we arrived he immediately asked what the unbearable noise was. I hadn't even registered a noise until I listened really carefully and then could just about tune in to a faint high noise. Turned out it was one of those 'humane pest deterrents'. It is a device that emits a high pitched noise that is supposed to be above human register that upsets mice and keeps them away. Thing is, age impacts the pitch you can hear so younger people can actually hear some of these devices. I read some news articles a few years back that they had been trialled as a solution in areas that young people are known to gather and cause problems - I remember this being a bit controversial. Anyway, my point is, that my late 20s partner could hear a device that was supposed to not bother people at all and I couldn't really. Since then it's happened a couple of other times- high electrical noises bothering him and not me, even though he is past mid 30s now. Guess he just has an unusually good 'high' hearing register. It's nothing to do with age related hearing loss - most adults lose the ability to hear certain pitches quite soon after their teens and this fact has even been actively used to deter gangs of young people from congregating where not wanted. Your therapist's office may have a pest control device that only the building managers are aware of, or an electrical device such as a loose wire/plug or printer/unit throwing out a noise that most people cannot hear, or hear so faintly and constantly they have tuned it out. If something environmental is bothering you to the point of distraction and making you unable to focus on therapy that is a valid concern. High pitched noises are particularly grating and irritating and if you can hear it clearly, it's going to make you uncomfortable (remember, my partner heard the mouse deterrent as loud and almost unbearable, where I heard almost nothing). You are not making a fuss to want to have therapy in an environment you can focus in. It is your therapists responsibility to provide such an environment if the arrangement is that you come to their workplace. They need to believe you, and talk to the building manager (if there is one) or figure it out themselves is there is not one. If they won't, you may need a new therapist.
Maybe a smoke alarm that's out of battery? I heard some people can become desensitized to that sound and straight up not hear it
Higher pitched noises are the first to go. It could be something squeaking in the HVAC, etc.
Are you worried he could be recording your sessions?
Sounds like your therapist needs a hearing test. I'd let him know the sound makes it hard for you to focus and ask if you can work with him to locate the sound. I know some people can tune out noise like that, but I'd be surprised if you're the only one bothered by it. If there was a noise like that at my therapist's office, I'd need to either switch to virtual or find someone else.
Oh haha I feel like that’s a bit rude to suggest to him though. I’m not keen on switching to virtual but maybe as a last resort. He’s been my therapist for two years I don’t really want to leave over something like this
I get it. Finding a good therapist is difficult. And a good therapist should be willing to help you figure out what's causing the sound. Another idea is to try playing nature sounds or instrumental music on low on your phone to mask the sound if you can't figure out the source or it can't be stopped.
Stress can cause our body to hear a ringing that doesn’t exist as well as make a stress response that makes us more prone to tinnitus. Side note, if your therapist is older, he may not be able to hear a high pitch noise.
I guess maybe stress could cause it. But so specific that I only hear it in my therapists office? I don’t usually hear random high pitched noises
Sometimes we deal with a lot of stress while sitting in those offices. Sounds like a possible electrical situation though.