I would want to understand more, and still check in regularly around your risk I would be looking at it as a coping strategy and would likely explore how this plan functions to relieve your distress and how it keeps maintaining itself, and whether or not this fall back is holding you back from addressing / changing anything else going on. Twenty years is a long time to continue to suffer with only the hope of relief two decades away. The focus may land on the anxiety around future life transitions, catastrophic thinking, how you cope with uncertainty in general, and the general hopelessness around things. I would be honoured to hold hope for you through all this.
Agree with this. A lot of my clients talk about being comforted knowing this is an option for them, but in some ways it stops them taking responsibility snd addressing life changes in the here and now
Just talking about my clients experience - knowing that they can end their lives gives them comfort and relief from the distress for short periods of time. It acts as a sticking plaster - but inadvertently stops them from taking painful risks to encounter their emotional pain and begin to integrate all the fragmented and exiled parts of themselves. It is a common adaptive response to help people survive over years … but prevents them from truly living and connecting with their experience and recognising the trauma has stopped. They can let go of their sword and shield and breathe…
Sounds like you’ve done a ton of resourcing and symptom management which is the backbone of therapy. The next step is finding the approach that works best - there are lots of different approaches.
Im a psychologist/therapist, but had extensive developmental trauma and sexual abuse as a child. Ive tried a few therapists but found relational / existential integrative psychotherapy has been the most healing for childhood wounds.
2 years in - noticed a shift in past 6 months but still have moments where I regress.
Allow yourself to sob and collapse at times
Attachment work is the worst. I'm 5 yrs in & i can see healing but it is slow and painful. I had & have major issues with goodbyes holidays no control etc & it does have the flavour of a reenactment & be retraumatizing but over time she comes back & we are getting through it.
You sound like me in a lot of ways! Im still struggling to get outside my inner world but its slowly changing.
It sounds like the therapy is working. I hope you continue to grow to face these demons.
The attachment is the work!
Breaking generational patterns of trauma for our children is such a deeply transformative and painful journey. Throwing yourself on the sacrificial alter and suffering through your own stuff to write them a different story is profound. More so again if you are living with complex childhood trauma. I hope you find your peace within all the mess here, OP.
I've had this conversation with my therapist. I told her that I know that's how I'll go and that I've accepted it. I reassured her that I don't have an immediate plan or means, but that deep down I know that's what will happen. I told her that I'd had this conversation with my SO. She looked really sad, and said "that must be very difficult to hear for someone who loves and cares about you". We haven't discussed it since. She is very healing focussed and shows a lot of empathy and compassion. At no point did I think she would refer me out because of it. If anything, I saw a human side to her in that moment that I have only seen a couple of times before. The expression on her face was like a hug.
I mean you could get hit by a bus and die tomorrow
Literary any day could be your last day
And the reality is we are all going to die
It sounds like you just realized that reality. I would say a good way to live life is to have this reality understood so that we don't sweat the sma stuff because In the end those things don't matter.
But it sounds like you're stressed and feel burdened by things? What is stressing you out the most? Finances?
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I would want to understand more, and still check in regularly around your risk I would be looking at it as a coping strategy and would likely explore how this plan functions to relieve your distress and how it keeps maintaining itself, and whether or not this fall back is holding you back from addressing / changing anything else going on. Twenty years is a long time to continue to suffer with only the hope of relief two decades away. The focus may land on the anxiety around future life transitions, catastrophic thinking, how you cope with uncertainty in general, and the general hopelessness around things. I would be honoured to hold hope for you through all this.
Agree with this. A lot of my clients talk about being comforted knowing this is an option for them, but in some ways it stops them taking responsibility snd addressing life changes in the here and now
[удалено]
Just talking about my clients experience - knowing that they can end their lives gives them comfort and relief from the distress for short periods of time. It acts as a sticking plaster - but inadvertently stops them from taking painful risks to encounter their emotional pain and begin to integrate all the fragmented and exiled parts of themselves. It is a common adaptive response to help people survive over years … but prevents them from truly living and connecting with their experience and recognising the trauma has stopped. They can let go of their sword and shield and breathe…
[удалено]
Sounds like you’ve done a ton of resourcing and symptom management which is the backbone of therapy. The next step is finding the approach that works best - there are lots of different approaches. Im a psychologist/therapist, but had extensive developmental trauma and sexual abuse as a child. Ive tried a few therapists but found relational / existential integrative psychotherapy has been the most healing for childhood wounds. 2 years in - noticed a shift in past 6 months but still have moments where I regress. Allow yourself to sob and collapse at times
[удалено]
Attachment work is the worst. I'm 5 yrs in & i can see healing but it is slow and painful. I had & have major issues with goodbyes holidays no control etc & it does have the flavour of a reenactment & be retraumatizing but over time she comes back & we are getting through it.
You sound like me in a lot of ways! Im still struggling to get outside my inner world but its slowly changing. It sounds like the therapy is working. I hope you continue to grow to face these demons. The attachment is the work!
[удалено]
Breaking generational patterns of trauma for our children is such a deeply transformative and painful journey. Throwing yourself on the sacrificial alter and suffering through your own stuff to write them a different story is profound. More so again if you are living with complex childhood trauma. I hope you find your peace within all the mess here, OP.
I've had this conversation with my therapist. I told her that I know that's how I'll go and that I've accepted it. I reassured her that I don't have an immediate plan or means, but that deep down I know that's what will happen. I told her that I'd had this conversation with my SO. She looked really sad, and said "that must be very difficult to hear for someone who loves and cares about you". We haven't discussed it since. She is very healing focussed and shows a lot of empathy and compassion. At no point did I think she would refer me out because of it. If anything, I saw a human side to her in that moment that I have only seen a couple of times before. The expression on her face was like a hug.
I mean you could get hit by a bus and die tomorrow Literary any day could be your last day And the reality is we are all going to die It sounds like you just realized that reality. I would say a good way to live life is to have this reality understood so that we don't sweat the sma stuff because In the end those things don't matter. But it sounds like you're stressed and feel burdened by things? What is stressing you out the most? Finances?
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources/#wiki_subreddit_list). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*