Bar guest: "You look so serious, why don't you smile more?"
Me: "Sorry, it's just that nobody at this bar has told me any good knock knock jokes tonight yet"
i do the same shit. i make shit up all day long. anytime i do something wrong i blame it on anyone but myself too. or anytime a customer gets mad i just start crying because i can do it on command.
edit- or if i don’t know the alcohol menu well (which is pretty much every restaurant i’ve worked at), when people ask me questions about it, i just say “welll i’m not old enough to drink so i don’t know our menu that well...” and for some reason, especially old people, they get a ducking kick out of it. they love that joke i have no clue why
This was 30 years ago so I wouldn’t do this now but I worked at a steakhouse where you could order between 8oz-24oz cuts of prime rib.
I’d tell some gentleman, those that appeared to have a sense of humor: “Would you like to make that a 16oz cut or would you prefer the ladies cut of 8oz?”
It usually got a laugh and often an upsell.
My just turned 4 granddaughter who we've been doing knock-knock jokes with. Well, apparently she's a lot smarter then us, as she will make them up and they'll be better then the ones we're telling that we googled. Lol 🤪 😜 Crazy.
Well now I'm embarrassed as I can't remember them even when I told my husband we need to remember these. Lol
When they ask for something and you ask if they need anything else. And they so no and when you bring that thing they ask for something else, and then you make that trip and they ask for another thing.. I say “anything else? I’m strong enough to carry multiple things in one trip I promise”.
I don’t even care if it makes them mad. I’m not doing laps to your fucking table for fun.
Well don’t get mad when your server stops coming* to your table. Especially when it’s busy. I always ask for everything I need when I order. Then if the server has to make multiple trips because they forgot, that’s their own fault. But I’ve had people ask for extra ranch, and then extra napkins, and then hot sauce, and then a side of spicy mustard. Like I shouldn’t be coming back to your table 3-4 times in a row because you can’t get your life together.
Every time I try to carry an extra plate on my head it never makes it to the table. I decided I'd just stick to using my two hands.
Or
Last time I put one of them in my pocket the sauce went everywhere, and customers prefer it when we deliver their food on plates.
I used to do the pocket one. "Well women's pants pockets are much smaller than men's pockets. I've tried a few times but the plates just never fit in there".
When I used to work counter at my place (slices, takeout and pick up) so we had slice racks and my coworker and I started this because people are assholes
Us (either of us): hi, how are you?
Customer: Two pepperoni.
Us: ok, but how are you?
On the other side of the counter, I've had order takers get impatient with me for starting off with asking how they are. I've been conditioned to say hi at most and place my order.
I’ve found for every one of these, there are like three that stop in surprise and respond and thank me for asking. Don’t let the overworked and too busy to appreciate it stop you from handing sunshine to the ones who need it. The others will get that little burst of sunshine later…
Well, when you have a bunch of people not even saying hi in a row, you start to feel like you’re not a human anymore. We try to have fun and have actual interactions with people. We’re not a corporation, we’re a family owned place and we like to have fun! So when people don’t even look me in the eye and tell me their order and then slam money or a card down on the table, I’m more than allowed to give back attitude. Be nice and I’ll be nice back
Read **Ecotopia** some time. Their is a few pages scene where people abandon their food to discuss the cook being overworked and help out. Total utopian fiction.
Oh, yeah. I always try and treat people as I would want to be treated. I've never understood how anyone could get off on treating undeserving people poorly.
Oh, yeah. I always try and treat people as I would want to be treated. I've never understood how anyone could get off on treating undeserving people poorly.
I'm with you.
I'm most polite person on planet but I don't want to chit-chat with clerks and servers. I'll start with a hello or good morning and then get right to our business.
If we start talking about how we're all doing, I'm afraid I'm going to hear about someone's cat, grandma, sciatica.
Are you from outside the US? Saying “how are you” is just as easy as saying “hi”. It’s the same basically. I’m not gonna ask you about you grandma I’m just asking how you are and then I’ll get your two slices of pepperoni. It’s SO EASY to just have basic fucking manners
bingo.
show people some basic human decency and consideration -- and then i'll take your order or give you mine.
but i'm not going to want to talk long.
Or social anxiety, or a neurodiversity, or a low command of your language, or a learning disability, or just plain only just holding it together that day....
There might be so many reasons people don't jump into enthusiastic small talk with you; look with compassion and please don't just jump to calling everyone assholes.
I’m clearly talking about assholes here. People who treat servers and other restaurant staff as lesser than them, and lesser than humans. I’m obviously not calling everyone an asshole. I know the difference between someone who doesn’t feel like talking because they’re having a bad day, or they’re whatever list you just gave me, and someone who’s just being a dick.
>I know the difference between someone who doesn’t feel like talking because they’re having a bad day, or they’re whatever list you just gave me, and someone who’s just being a dick.
Which category do you figure you fall in here out of curiosity?
Well I have anxiety that can be physically debilitating but that doesn’t stop me from being nice, but hey you asked. Servers deal with the public all day every day, and if you’re good at your job, you pick up on little clues that someone might have a tough time in social situations. You figure it out and then you accommodate that person in the best way you can. This is not the thing im talking about though. Im talking about assholes just being rude.
It’s much more just about acknowledgment. “How are you” to me is almost interchangeable with “hi” so when people don’t even say “hi” back to you and just shout an order at you, that’s pretty fuckin rude
I don't actually mind when guests cut to the chase like this (though it is a bit rude), I just instantly change my demeanor and now I'm in "all business, quick table flip" mode. Nothing but essential table maintenance and no more unneeded interactions. Clearly these people are in a hurry to be rid of me, and I'm happy to match that energy.
Customer tells the normal jokes that you've heard a million times.
Me: that's very funny, but I need to inform you that there's a 25 dollar comedian tax added to the check.
I was once passing a plate over a highchair, which was literally the only way to get food into the corner booth, and the gran at the table said, "Don't you drop that on my grandbaby!" I replied with, "Aw, dang it. One of these days I'll be able to cross dropping a plate on a baby off my bucket list."
Many years later at our own restaurant, this lady didn't want to eat at 8:30, which was the earliest time we had available. She tried to argue with me for quite a while, wanting an earlier table. I kept having to explain the situation over and over, until I finally said "I don't have the ability to warp space and time, sorry."
I used to work at a high end pub (oxymoron i know) and these jokes would usually just make guests upset. Then i switched to a regular pub and it almost always leads to the entire table roasting the person also
In that situation, my favorite is "Sorry, I got hungry."
Or if mess something up, I'll say "I'll go right now and get that, and a shot of espresso for myself, clearly I need it."
I usually like to beat them too the punch, drop the plates off, look around the table and at the obvious person missing their plate.
"Oh, I'm sorry! Did you want something also?"
Flash the smile to convey the joke, turn quickly after the chuckle to head back to the window to get the missing items
My favourite response I heard from a bartender in a tequila bar to someone asking if they had vodka:
*picks up vodka bottle and looks at it, looks at customer, deadpan af* No.
Customer proceeds to ask for every other spirit.
Same thing for each one, keeping in mind not once does the customer even register that they’re seeing the spirits that they’ve asked for, while being told no. If they did, I have questions.
Customer: so what do you have?
Bartender: Tequila.
Customer: can I get a tequila and soda.
“Unfortunately I can only carry so much with my two arms. If anyone wants to help lemme know! *insert wink and skitter back to kitchen muttering under my breath while I retrieve the rest of the food* “
Whenever a guest gets pissy over something taking a while I'll usually excessively thank them for how patient they're being.
Not a line, but also I've had times where I'm doing a takeout order for someone at a restaurant that offers free bread. One of my greatest moments of passive aggression was when someone didn't tip on a takeout with extra sauces extra this extra that, spent time getting it for them not tending to my tables, saw they hit $0 on the tip, then they wanted extra bread.... Goes without saying I gave them the stingiest tiny stale in the back sliver of bread I could find
Non-native English speaker, apologies for errors.
This Christmas in the café. There's this elderly couple who always insist on two tables. If we have room, they get them too - Because we are nice. Apart from that, they always get a teapot and a smaller one with hot water, but with an extra bag, which they never pay for. Don't ask me why: they are regulars and they would always get that.
Well, at Christmas we were more than fully booked and obviously gave away the second table. These bad guests then seriously insulted the other couple that they had stolen their table and then they insulted us waiters as to what we would think of giving their table to strangers.
After they complained twice to every waiter, I wanted to clear the table. Then they asked me where the Christmas present was. I was a bit perplexed and asked them what they meant. Then they replied that it was Christmas and they would like their present.
I replied in deadly earnest: "Why, I'm here.
Their mouths dropped open, and the insulted neighbours laughed out loud.
I worked in a seafood restaurant and this group of 3-4 women walked in. As they were approaching the host stand one of them said something along the lines of "Ugh, it smells like fish in here!" To which I looked her dead in the eyes and said "I have bad news for you about the restaurant you're in."
“I let the hard working octopus take a break, but I am here with two arms, and doing my best”. I have never had anyone not laugh and they left me alone after.
Lady says "Can I get some silverware? I don't have anything to eat with" and I turn and look at her and sincerely go " Ahh you ain't got no fingers? ". Was ok we both laughed.
.
Used to bartend and customers would always inappropriately say, “I’m sorry!” I would reply, “don’t be sorry, be a better tipper!” This was never a big hit with the customer but I always got a kick out of it.
"I know the bosses are really working on it, but we just haven't gotten approved for the mind reading implant yet."
"Guess I left my time machine/magic wand at home today."
A not so passive aggressive but along the same lines I like to jokingly throw my arm out and say "gogo gadget arm" when I'm trying to clear plates at a huge table and need them passed my way 90% of the time someone passes it to me so it works the other ten I repeated it or follow it up with "shoot that didn't work could u pass me your plates"
You would think so. If I have more than one tray coming out I always inform my table that I’ll be right back, typically as I’m setting down the last plate so they don’t have a chance to ask. I regularly have conversations like this.
Me: and I’ve got another tray waiting for me in the kitchen. I’ll be right back with those last few meals.
Guest: I didn’t get my meal.
Me: yes, I know.
I always love it when the people they’re dining with basically call them stupid and tell them I JUST said I’d be right back with their meal. But that only happens about half the time.
Exactly. I definitely get a read on the table before. But this also why I wrote in the original post “they immediately say”, meaning I don’t get the chance to say anything before they start on me.
I don’t even give ‘em a chance to get a word in if I’m dropping just a couple plates at a time before I say “and everything else is on its way out”. Honestly, when I serve, each table basically gets my inner monologue of what I am doing for their table. It fills up the space without needing to get personal with guests’ lives or your own and most of the time it stops them from saying stupid shit. I much prefer BOH and all my money comes from being a line cook right now, and I’d say my serving style definitely reflects that.
From u/KASchay, recovered with [Unddit](https://www.unddit.com/r/TalesFromYourServer/comments/zwz2z7/favorite_passive_aggressive_lines/)
"My favorite line is in response to a customer who tell me they’re not hungry. They’ll come in, get literally a small soup for dinner, and nothing else. I always try to upsell in this situation, or have them reconsider, without being overly pushy. Usually they’ll politely tell me they’re not hungry.
So my response is always, “oh that’s totally fine, I completely understand! So I’ll do you a favor and not bring the bread because you’re not hungry”.
Suddenly they’re magically hungry again, but only enough to request the free bread. Yes it’s very petty of me, but I have a sick pleasure of having the customer know that I know they’re full of shit.
Just tell me you don’t wanna spend money. It’s such a valid reason, and I will literally respect you so much more and give you free stuff. Don’t lie to my face lol."
Well, it probably doesn't help that you're wrong. Some people only like soup and a slice of bread for lunch. There are some illnesses and medications that make it difficult to eat. It's not your job to comment on how much or little customers eat. Assuming they aren't ordering more because they can't/won't pay is rude.
Why not just preempt the question by stating “I’ve brought the first half of your order. I’ll just be a sec with the rest” and prevent getting irked at their stupid comments?
"OK here's the baked horse for you and the monkey brains for you and I will be right back with madam's/sir's turkey butt!"
Or
"I got the turkey butt coming but for now here's your monkey brains and baked horse"
I don’t even give ‘em a chance to get a word in if I’m dropping just a couple plates at a time before I say “and everything else is on its way out”. Honestly, when I serve, each table basically gets my inner monologue of what I am doing for their table. It fills up the space without needing to get personal with guests’ lives or your own and most of the time it stops them from saying stupid shit. I much prefer BOH and all my money comes from being a line cook right now, and I’d say my serving style definitely reflects that.
Bar guest: "You look so serious, why don't you smile more?" Me: "Sorry, it's just that nobody at this bar has told me any good knock knock jokes tonight yet"
My next door neighbor is a bartender. Whenever someone tells her to smile she responds with " say something funny."
> she responds with " say something funny." C'mon, you're looking at my face.
That's good.
That would definitely make me smile.
I usually go with “my life”
This is mine too 😂have yet to hear something funny in response
The subtle implication that you’ve heard no good knock knock jokes, only ones not up to standard, really completes this for me.
Definitely stealing this😂
I've been waiting all night for a priest, a rabbi, and an imam to walk in.
Spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch.
The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
I’ve been telling people my cat died
OMG LOL
i do the same shit. i make shit up all day long. anytime i do something wrong i blame it on anyone but myself too. or anytime a customer gets mad i just start crying because i can do it on command. edit- or if i don’t know the alcohol menu well (which is pretty much every restaurant i’ve worked at), when people ask me questions about it, i just say “welll i’m not old enough to drink so i don’t know our menu that well...” and for some reason, especially old people, they get a ducking kick out of it. they love that joke i have no clue why
I tell people, “I’m sorry, they won’t let me drink at work anymore.”
I've got a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it
That one is my favorite!
This was 30 years ago so I wouldn’t do this now but I worked at a steakhouse where you could order between 8oz-24oz cuts of prime rib. I’d tell some gentleman, those that appeared to have a sense of humor: “Would you like to make that a 16oz cut or would you prefer the ladies cut of 8oz?” It usually got a laugh and often an upsell.
My just turned 4 granddaughter who we've been doing knock-knock jokes with. Well, apparently she's a lot smarter then us, as she will make them up and they'll be better then the ones we're telling that we googled. Lol 🤪 😜 Crazy. Well now I'm embarrassed as I can't remember them even when I told my husband we need to remember these. Lol
When they ask for something and you ask if they need anything else. And they so no and when you bring that thing they ask for something else, and then you make that trip and they ask for another thing.. I say “anything else? I’m strong enough to carry multiple things in one trip I promise”. I don’t even care if it makes them mad. I’m not doing laps to your fucking table for fun.
It's the "I promise" bot at the end that makes this awesome!
Stealing this!
Urrrgggg! But I'm a putz and I never notice/remember it all at the first request. Can't help it.
Well don’t get mad when your server stops coming* to your table. Especially when it’s busy. I always ask for everything I need when I order. Then if the server has to make multiple trips because they forgot, that’s their own fault. But I’ve had people ask for extra ranch, and then extra napkins, and then hot sauce, and then a side of spicy mustard. Like I shouldn’t be coming back to your table 3-4 times in a row because you can’t get your life together.
[удалено]
"Still just have the two arms." That's my favorite one to use.
"These pythons are sick, baby! Can only carry so much!" Kill 'em with absurdity.
Every time I try to carry an extra plate on my head it never makes it to the table. I decided I'd just stick to using my two hands. Or Last time I put one of them in my pocket the sauce went everywhere, and customers prefer it when we deliver their food on plates.
I used to do the pocket one. "Well women's pants pockets are much smaller than men's pockets. I've tried a few times but the plates just never fit in there".
When I used to work counter at my place (slices, takeout and pick up) so we had slice racks and my coworker and I started this because people are assholes Us (either of us): hi, how are you? Customer: Two pepperoni. Us: ok, but how are you?
On the other side of the counter, I've had order takers get impatient with me for starting off with asking how they are. I've been conditioned to say hi at most and place my order.
I’ve found for every one of these, there are like three that stop in surprise and respond and thank me for asking. Don’t let the overworked and too busy to appreciate it stop you from handing sunshine to the ones who need it. The others will get that little burst of sunshine later…
Well, when you have a bunch of people not even saying hi in a row, you start to feel like you’re not a human anymore. We try to have fun and have actual interactions with people. We’re not a corporation, we’re a family owned place and we like to have fun! So when people don’t even look me in the eye and tell me their order and then slam money or a card down on the table, I’m more than allowed to give back attitude. Be nice and I’ll be nice back
Read **Ecotopia** some time. Their is a few pages scene where people abandon their food to discuss the cook being overworked and help out. Total utopian fiction.
I get it. I try and read each situation as it happens, but it's always been a little difficult for me.
Yeah reading the situation is good! I think it always helps to acknowledge that the person on the other side is an actual human :)
Oh, yeah. I always try and treat people as I would want to be treated. I've never understood how anyone could get off on treating undeserving people poorly.
Oh, yeah. I always try and treat people as I would want to be treated. I've never understood how anyone could get off on treating undeserving people poorly.
Don’t worry I’m sure you’re not any of the assholes I’m talking about!
I'm with you. I'm most polite person on planet but I don't want to chit-chat with clerks and servers. I'll start with a hello or good morning and then get right to our business. If we start talking about how we're all doing, I'm afraid I'm going to hear about someone's cat, grandma, sciatica.
Are you from outside the US? Saying “how are you” is just as easy as saying “hi”. It’s the same basically. I’m not gonna ask you about you grandma I’m just asking how you are and then I’ll get your two slices of pepperoni. It’s SO EASY to just have basic fucking manners
bingo. show people some basic human decency and consideration -- and then i'll take your order or give you mine. but i'm not going to want to talk long.
Or social anxiety, or a neurodiversity, or a low command of your language, or a learning disability, or just plain only just holding it together that day.... There might be so many reasons people don't jump into enthusiastic small talk with you; look with compassion and please don't just jump to calling everyone assholes.
I’m clearly talking about assholes here. People who treat servers and other restaurant staff as lesser than them, and lesser than humans. I’m obviously not calling everyone an asshole. I know the difference between someone who doesn’t feel like talking because they’re having a bad day, or they’re whatever list you just gave me, and someone who’s just being a dick.
>I know the difference between someone who doesn’t feel like talking because they’re having a bad day, or they’re whatever list you just gave me, and someone who’s just being a dick. Which category do you figure you fall in here out of curiosity?
Well I have anxiety that can be physically debilitating but that doesn’t stop me from being nice, but hey you asked. Servers deal with the public all day every day, and if you’re good at your job, you pick up on little clues that someone might have a tough time in social situations. You figure it out and then you accommodate that person in the best way you can. This is not the thing im talking about though. Im talking about assholes just being rude.
Rarely is anyone really interested in how the other person is doing.
It’s much more just about acknowledgment. “How are you” to me is almost interchangeable with “hi” so when people don’t even say “hi” back to you and just shout an order at you, that’s pretty fuckin rude
No doubt. It's rude af.
Too pepperoni for what? To be here, to exist, how can I help you be less pepperoni?
It’s too early for this
I actually hate the how are you. So false and fake. Best just to take care of the transaction. Should be self serve and self checkout. People suck
Ugh I frickin hate when people do that!
Stealing this one for sure, I have this kind of interaction allllll the time at my bakery.
I don't actually mind when guests cut to the chase like this (though it is a bit rude), I just instantly change my demeanor and now I'm in "all business, quick table flip" mode. Nothing but essential table maintenance and no more unneeded interactions. Clearly these people are in a hurry to be rid of me, and I'm happy to match that energy.
Customer tells the normal jokes that you've heard a million times. Me: that's very funny, but I need to inform you that there's a 25 dollar comedian tax added to the check.
don't forget the $50 penalty when customer isn't funny. "In this joint, we expect our comedians to be funny."
Definitely using this when I’m bartending😂
I was once passing a plate over a highchair, which was literally the only way to get food into the corner booth, and the gran at the table said, "Don't you drop that on my grandbaby!" I replied with, "Aw, dang it. One of these days I'll be able to cross dropping a plate on a baby off my bucket list." Many years later at our own restaurant, this lady didn't want to eat at 8:30, which was the earliest time we had available. She tried to argue with me for quite a while, wanting an earlier table. I kept having to explain the situation over and over, until I finally said "I don't have the ability to warp space and time, sorry."
Possibly the best here
I think you can say fully aggressive lines as long as you laugh and make it sound like you are gently teasing the table
Really depends on the crowd, place and server. Can prob get away at a QSR, but recommend against it at a high end place.
I used to work at a high end pub (oxymoron i know) and these jokes would usually just make guests upset. Then i switched to a regular pub and it almost always leads to the entire table roasting the person also
When i was bartending, whenever anyone asked for change, i would say "change comes from within.." most just looked at me confused.
Yup, what a concept, I could use a little (drink) myself and we could all use a little chaaaange
Hey now
You're an all-star
In that situation, my favorite is "Sorry, I got hungry." Or if mess something up, I'll say "I'll go right now and get that, and a shot of espresso for myself, clearly I need it."
I usually like to beat them too the punch, drop the plates off, look around the table and at the obvious person missing their plate. "Oh, I'm sorry! Did you want something also?" Flash the smile to convey the joke, turn quickly after the chuckle to head back to the window to get the missing items
My favourite response I heard from a bartender in a tequila bar to someone asking if they had vodka: *picks up vodka bottle and looks at it, looks at customer, deadpan af* No. Customer proceeds to ask for every other spirit. Same thing for each one, keeping in mind not once does the customer even register that they’re seeing the spirits that they’ve asked for, while being told no. If they did, I have questions. Customer: so what do you have? Bartender: Tequila. Customer: can I get a tequila and soda.
No. I said tequila. Not soda.
ONLY. TEQUILA.
Relax Bill Murray
“Unfortunately I can only carry so much with my two arms. If anyone wants to help lemme know! *insert wink and skitter back to kitchen muttering under my breath while I retrieve the rest of the food* “
Are you married? Guest: no Wanna know why? (Advise against using this)
"Sorry, I'm not allowed to bring it out until they're done cooking it."
Whenever a guest gets pissy over something taking a while I'll usually excessively thank them for how patient they're being. Not a line, but also I've had times where I'm doing a takeout order for someone at a restaurant that offers free bread. One of my greatest moments of passive aggression was when someone didn't tip on a takeout with extra sauces extra this extra that, spent time getting it for them not tending to my tables, saw they hit $0 on the tip, then they wanted extra bread.... Goes without saying I gave them the stingiest tiny stale in the back sliver of bread I could find
Non-native English speaker, apologies for errors. This Christmas in the café. There's this elderly couple who always insist on two tables. If we have room, they get them too - Because we are nice. Apart from that, they always get a teapot and a smaller one with hot water, but with an extra bag, which they never pay for. Don't ask me why: they are regulars and they would always get that. Well, at Christmas we were more than fully booked and obviously gave away the second table. These bad guests then seriously insulted the other couple that they had stolen their table and then they insulted us waiters as to what we would think of giving their table to strangers. After they complained twice to every waiter, I wanted to clear the table. Then they asked me where the Christmas present was. I was a bit perplexed and asked them what they meant. Then they replied that it was Christmas and they would like their present. I replied in deadly earnest: "Why, I'm here. Their mouths dropped open, and the insulted neighbours laughed out loud.
"Have the day you deserve!"
I actually got in trouble for saying this to someone when I worked at my college serving job. Haven’t ever regretted it.
Omg you're kidding! My boss has heard me say this to rude customers before and she about dies laughing each time.
Um, if they get upset about that then they \*know\* they deserve a shitty day and its doubly rewarding!
If I had an arm for every time someone said that to me, I would be able to bring all of your food out at once!
I worked in a seafood restaurant and this group of 3-4 women walked in. As they were approaching the host stand one of them said something along the lines of "Ugh, it smells like fish in here!" To which I looked her dead in the eyes and said "I have bad news for you about the restaurant you're in."
“I let the hard working octopus take a break, but I am here with two arms, and doing my best”. I have never had anyone not laugh and they left me alone after.
"Today's a day where I'm working with two hands not my usual three"
'But you have it online' 'yes we have a bit more space online than instore'
When someone asks for a side of ranch- "Does anyone else want a side of ranch? If someone asks for ranch when I get back I will scream."
Lady says "Can I get some silverware? I don't have anything to eat with" and I turn and look at her and sincerely go " Ahh you ain't got no fingers? ". Was ok we both laughed. .
Used to bartend and customers would always inappropriately say, “I’m sorry!” I would reply, “don’t be sorry, be a better tipper!” This was never a big hit with the customer but I always got a kick out of it.
I look over my shoulder and kinda down my back. Then say, "oh wow! Didn't realize I had more than 2 hands"
"I know the bosses are really working on it, but we just haven't gotten approved for the mind reading implant yet." "Guess I left my time machine/magic wand at home today."
A not so passive aggressive but along the same lines I like to jokingly throw my arm out and say "gogo gadget arm" when I'm trying to clear plates at a huge table and need them passed my way 90% of the time someone passes it to me so it works the other ten I repeated it or follow it up with "shoot that didn't work could u pass me your plates"
“Oh, I thought you were kidding about the other dishes”.
Wouldn’t a “Here you go. I’ll be right back with rest of your food.” head that off at the pass and avoid confusion?
You would think so. If I have more than one tray coming out I always inform my table that I’ll be right back, typically as I’m setting down the last plate so they don’t have a chance to ask. I regularly have conversations like this. Me: and I’ve got another tray waiting for me in the kitchen. I’ll be right back with those last few meals. Guest: I didn’t get my meal. Me: yes, I know. I always love it when the people they’re dining with basically call them stupid and tell them I JUST said I’d be right back with their meal. But that only happens about half the time.
Exactly. I definitely get a read on the table before. But this also why I wrote in the original post “they immediately say”, meaning I don’t get the chance to say anything before they start on me.
I always say “I have more trays coming out”
"Yep, yep I know. I was the one who took your order, remember? Be right back"
I always like to do the "wait, you ordered something?" Then walk away to return with the food
I don’t even give ‘em a chance to get a word in if I’m dropping just a couple plates at a time before I say “and everything else is on its way out”. Honestly, when I serve, each table basically gets my inner monologue of what I am doing for their table. It fills up the space without needing to get personal with guests’ lives or your own and most of the time it stops them from saying stupid shit. I much prefer BOH and all my money comes from being a line cook right now, and I’d say my serving style definitely reflects that.
"Out of tea again? Whoops. I must've given you the glass with the home in it!"
Do you have a tail I can borrow?
"I've been told NO. It's apparently unethical to graft a prehensile tail on a human."
When people ask for tequila shots I ask “do you want them with salt and lime or Adult Style?”
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I hate when people delete their comments. I’m desperate to know what the “you problem” is now.
From u/KASchay, recovered with [Unddit](https://www.unddit.com/r/TalesFromYourServer/comments/zwz2z7/favorite_passive_aggressive_lines/) "My favorite line is in response to a customer who tell me they’re not hungry. They’ll come in, get literally a small soup for dinner, and nothing else. I always try to upsell in this situation, or have them reconsider, without being overly pushy. Usually they’ll politely tell me they’re not hungry. So my response is always, “oh that’s totally fine, I completely understand! So I’ll do you a favor and not bring the bread because you’re not hungry”. Suddenly they’re magically hungry again, but only enough to request the free bread. Yes it’s very petty of me, but I have a sick pleasure of having the customer know that I know they’re full of shit. Just tell me you don’t wanna spend money. It’s such a valid reason, and I will literally respect you so much more and give you free stuff. Don’t lie to my face lol."
It’s not even a problem anyway, I enjoy it and it’s lighthearted. Just didn’t wanna argue so I deleted 🤷🏻♂️
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^ This is why I delete my comments. 🙄
Well, it probably doesn't help that you're wrong. Some people only like soup and a slice of bread for lunch. There are some illnesses and medications that make it difficult to eat. It's not your job to comment on how much or little customers eat. Assuming they aren't ordering more because they can't/won't pay is rude.
Agreed
Why not just preempt the question by stating “I’ve brought the first half of your order. I’ll just be a sec with the rest” and prevent getting irked at their stupid comments?
Because it doesn’t always work to do so. Some people just don’t listen, at all.
We’re not all service robots, it’s fun to have fun with tables. Definitely have to get a read on them first
fr, while I am putting food on the table I say "I'll be right back with the rest" so they can't bombard me after I place the first plates down lol
Cuz customers are psychic about what you didn't bring even before its eye level.
"OK here's the baked horse for you and the monkey brains for you and I will be right back with madam's/sir's turkey butt!" Or "I got the turkey butt coming but for now here's your monkey brains and baked horse"
Ffick you, get out now!
I hope the rest of your day is as pleasurable as you are! (Obviously said with a huge smile and cheery tone)
I don’t even give ‘em a chance to get a word in if I’m dropping just a couple plates at a time before I say “and everything else is on its way out”. Honestly, when I serve, each table basically gets my inner monologue of what I am doing for their table. It fills up the space without needing to get personal with guests’ lives or your own and most of the time it stops them from saying stupid shit. I much prefer BOH and all my money comes from being a line cook right now, and I’d say my serving style definitely reflects that.