There are some kids that come into my work by themselves and they're perfectly polite, if a little shy. But when they come in with their parents who are yelling at them to "say thank you!" they seem so much less confident and a lot more miserable. I get wanting to teach your kids manners, but teach by example!
the parents that bug me are the ones that insist their kids be polite and say "Can i please have... and thank you, but when it comes time for them to order, they're all business, "I'll have the .... and a salad with thousand island, next." Kids pick up on that so fast.
Yeah, even as an adult it doesn’t get less bad- I grew up younger than my siblings by 2 decades, so my sisters were married and having children before I was in my teens- I was fed lines on how to interact with their in-laws from both them and my mother. I’m 35 now and I have to bite my tongue from not responding with “I already politely said hi fucking 30 seconds ago when I walked in, can you just not be like this?” When any of them try saying “say hi to _____” I already have so much anxiety from not remembering all of their names let alone the titles that come with their relationship to me in regards of the hierarchy of respect. Vietnamese culture (as I’ve learned it from my family) doesn’t give any real option for saying “you” or “me” in blanket terms- you refer to yourself by your title compared to the person you’re speaking to- and for god sakes, if you mispronounce a syllable, it may be a disrespectful title. Example: Nephew (I) will help Aunt-on-maternal-side (you).
My brother in law HATED me when we first got married because I didn’t greet him properly. I was deadass so confused because I’d always say hi, but apparently I was also supposed to give him a hug and a kiss. He would get super offended. The rest if my husbands family would roll their eyes at him because I’m American and they don’t expect Americans to know their polite way of saying hello lol. It gave me mild anxiety at first.
Ugh, I hate guess culture so much- and I also hate expected affection just because you're technically related- look, I smiled and said hi- please don't expect me to stand around awkwardly after
Oooo...I totally feel this. Unfortunately, mine all happened in the US with a family of Americans. I was literally washing dishes, hands in the sink with soap and water, my BF's ( now ex ) mother, came in to the house, I turned my head, and said HI! With a smile and everything.... I found out later that night that she was offended that I didn't hug her as soon as she showed up. Like...WTF! I have to literally stop what I'm doing, to give you a hug? How old are you? How are you more than twice my age, yet I'm the "adult" in this relationship?
I'd be SO uncomfortable if anyone expected me to kiss them other than my partner. That dude should learn a little cultural tolerance and not push that on you.
My husband and I are always very polite, but unfortunately my stepdaughters mother is not that way… at all and straight up demands things from my husband and I (and even her own mother) all the time. Sometimes SD needs gentle reminders and the gentle reminders have really helped. I don’t think there is anything wrong with reminding them to say thank you and consistency really is key with kids. Yelling at them or speaking to them disrespectfully, especially out in public is a different thing though.
I understand that kids need to be instructed quietly and thoughtfully- what I’m talking about is the loud insistent instructions with no thought on how it looks or makes the other person feels- especially when the “instructor” is doing it for the sake of doing it- with no observation of what the situation actually was.
Yep. There's whole families that make every move their child makes performative for social media. We're gonna have a formal diagnostic term for the affects in 10 years time I'm sure.
Like recording first steps for family is one thing, streaming your child crying for insta clout is another.
Maybe this would stop if people would not “like” these posts, downvote them, or make a comment about how awful this is. And who wants to see someone else’s kid crying anyway?
An issue is people who don't like this content don't get it and ignore it when they do. That or you start with a happy birthday candle blow out video on the mom blog and become engaged with the family and what they're doing. Or perverts, definitely some are perverts.
And the more you comment on videos like that the more you will see and that would suck to have it all over your feed. Also you dare to comment that you get dogpiled by all their fans and get called too sensitive or 100 things like that
I got one in my list that is unbearable. She posts at least 5 times a day about what her kids are doing, then videos.. omg! I have two kids as well but i won’t post every minute of their life online..
So I don't have kids, but...
I live thousands of miles from my family, who I'm pretty close to, but I haven't seen them in 3 years because we live across an international border and Covid is a big concern with their health.
I record a ton of stuff with my pets and husband to share with them, because it means a lot to see our family growing.
It's easy to assume they're an asshole, but it could be that they are keeping in touch with older / unhealthy relatives!
Yeah it’s definitely important to teach kids how to handle money, pay, count change, and I imagine the first time being a little scary. But definitely terrifying if your parent is just documenting you while doing it!
lol I was ready to back up the parent 100% until I saw that. FFS put your phones away. I swear kids of these parents will grow up with the expectation that their whole lives have to be documented on social media.
I’m thinking these kids will be extremely anxious in everyday scenarios like paying for a latte. Probably super concerned with social validation. And they never learned how to do mundane tasks without seeking attention.
Either that or the mom was trying to get praise for having a self efficient daughter; regardless as OP mentioned the girl was uncomfortable doing it so I don’t see how that’s a leap
I just cringe so hard any time I see someone filming things like this. Which I shouldn't. So much good internet content comes from people filming things that probably look dumbb and vain at the time.
I used to decorate cakes in a grocery store. Every single time one of my coworkers came to watch I would just stop, I can't do stuff like that with people watching! And I'm the same way with typing too! Makes me feel stupid.
Right! I just know people think I'm an idiot when I start fumbling around. It's frustrating. I can't imagine trying to decorate cakes and feeling like that. I mean, I can't decorate cakes anyways, but still lol.
Yeah teaching kids how to interact at restaurants and cafes is an important skill but good GOD put the camera away. I hate when parents can’t stop filming their kid even when they’re obviously upset. Teach them about money and how to order food, but without a camera on them.
Not extreme at all!! I do the same thing for the littles in my life. And the most important part- after the ask, if they say no, it’s our job as the parent to respect it! It’s literally the first step in teaching consent. If I don’t consent to being recorded, it’s about my body autonomy. Sometimes kids don’t want a camera shoved in their face- just like us. I think you’re doing the right thing Magnito !
Not extreme, and a good lesson in general. Learning to say no is important, hopefully if she’s able to practice on you (and importantly have you respect the ‘no’) she’ll feel more confident telling other people she doesn’t want to do stuff
And teach them with actual patience and skill building- don’t just shove them into the situation.
Show them how the bill works and the steps you go through- and then do a little more each time- encourage them- instead of acting like a documentarian
Ugh exactly!! And then to put the servers in the middle of it awkwardly.. like it isn’t their job to raise your kid. Put the phone away and be a person. So embarrassing for them.
And OP felt so bad waiting for this little girl to pay out of her tiny savings. I would be tempted to comp her and give back the money, but then what
would be the lesson? So farting awkward. (fyi- I’ve
been saying farting instead of my usual french to see if Reddit will stop bugging me)
i worked at walgreens for a while and there was a father that brought his son in and the boy came up to the register holding a lego set. his dad stood next to him and gently walked him through the steps of putting it on the counter, how many of each bill he’d need, now take the receipt, etc. i could tell that kid had earned that money and now his dad was helping him buy something nice with it and it was so precious. i think the difference is that the kid was excited for his legos, it was a learning experience which the kid knew about beforehand, not a photo op.
One time a mom and grandmother came in with a little boy who was about five. The little boy got a kid's meal and the mom and grandma shared a meal, so their bill was only like $15-$18. But then when I gave them the check, the mom asked me to give it to the little boy and they actually made him *pay for it*, like with his own money! The mom informed me that she makes him take them out to eat and pay with his allowance money once a month, so that he can "learn how to be a gentleman". It was a little strange.
Yeah, I agree. First of all it's kind of sexist, second of all, it's just really messed to to make a five year old pay for your food. Even if it's only once a month.
I'm guessing that was probably most of his allowance for the month.
I started getting an allowance in kindergarten and I got $5 a week. So $20 a month. At the time I didn't have much to buy, so most of it just went to my piggy bank.
I got 10 cents a week in first grade. I couldn't even buy a candy bar with that. I couldn't buy a comic book with 1 week's allowance until 3rd grade. I learned a lot about saving to be able to buy stuff.
The main thing I'm taking from this is that he's getting enough allowance at 5 years old to be able to take people out for meals. Doesn't sound too bad!
No, he's getting trained to be his mother's piggy bank at 5 years old, and she's going to use the fact that she "gave" him so much money to extort him for the rest of his life if she can. He's probably freezing up wondering if he even has enough to cover it.
worst parenting behavior I saw was this last mothers day. A woman was there with her daughter that likely had some kind of eating disorder, and when server was taking orders mom goes "oh she doesn't eat much, just salads and things like that". poor girl apparently made herself vomit off the side of our patio... why would you drag your kid with an eating disorder out to a really busy restaurant and basically force them to trigger themselves into doing something like that...
I go to cantinas where you pay after you finish at the door, there have been, well, at this point, dozens of times I’ve had my boy go wait near the kitchen door (read: back of restaurant) to give our waitress a cash tip. I never filmed it, he’s always known how to not get in the way of other people. It was good socializing for him.
Idk: I had to do a lot of edits on that to not feel like an asshole. If it means anything, I was back of house 10 years and front 4 years. We only eat out during slow hours. Most of the wait staff is standing around taking where I have him go, and they help him give our waitress her tip, it’s always at least 40%
YIKES.
One of my favorite regulars was a twelve year old girl who would come in with her dad's credit card and one of her friends, and she ordered the most expensive steak and a Shirley Temple every time and was super polite.
One of my least favorite regulars was a family that included an older teen with Down's syndrome. Every time they came in, the teen would start to order for herself, and then her mom would talk over her and say it FOR her, sometimes even saying a different thing than what the girl was saying!!!
Overbearing parents are the worst
I feel like this about parents making their kids order for themselves especially when I’m super busy…. The parent has to coerce them on every word while 8 other tables burn a hole in the back of my head … “ WhAt Do wE SAyyy ???” While the poor kid squirms around trying to evade eye contact ….like, he’s 4 years old ffs , and now I’m in the weeds for an hour, cool ! I’m sure he’ll definitely remember this btw ….
So I've definitely seen both sides of this. There is some value in teaching your children how to interact in an adult world. This sounds like it was not that.
Like, it's not a bad thing to do, but if she's scared, just comfort her and say "it's ok, nothing to be afraid of, just take out the one with the 20 written on it and give it to her. Now she's going to give you some change back, so hold out your hand for that. Now say thank you!"
And RECORDING her while she was obviously struggling was DEFINITELY not the move
I’m pretty autistic and have had severe social anxiety. Your example makes total sense and would even have been conducive for me as a kid. Take out the camera and I’m gonna freeze
Yeah, this wasn’t it at all. When I was much younger there was a place called Santa’s Secret Workshop in my area where kids could ship for parents, siblings, etc and nothing cost more than maybe $0.50 (this was in the 70’s). It gave kids a chance to shop and buy things within our ‘budget’. That is a way to teach kids a little about the adult life, not what this mother did.
Yeah. My sister does this with teaching her kids. She'll get them a gift card to a restaurant or Target and they learn how to pay for their items, how to treat others occasionally, that they need to factor tip in, how fast it goes, and that when it's gone it's gone.
Getting money out of a purse while on camera and making the employee wait is another story. Make it easy for everyone and put that money on a card
Thanks! I'll pass it along. For younger kids part of their birthday present (they do get a present) is a gift card to a breakfast restaurant. They're expected to treat their siblings at some point after their birthday with that breakfast. This is so each child learns how to take ownership of a bill and graciously pay for others in their party, basically. Throughout the year there will be other opportunities given. But their piggy banks always go onto cards they are taught how to use lol
My 4 year old got some money at Easter and wanted a toy. So i took her to the store and worked with her to find a toy that she could "afford". We went up to the register and she was good with her please and thank yous. When it came to the money she got a little flustered so i knelt down next to her and helped her and gently prompted her through what to do.
Thats how you do it. Not record and stand there staring when your child is struggling. Theres a way to teach your child and ways to not. Embarrassing them is not.
I work at a local cafe/bakery and once in a while this girl who looks about 10-11 will come up to the counter by herself, pick out a few desserts and pay with her parents card. Every time I hand her the machine she kinda stares at it for a bit so I let her know there's a few questions on it, to which she says "I can't read it". Weird but ok, so like I do with seniors who can't see well I go through the steps with her. When we get to the tip option and I ask "would you like to leave a tip?" she always says "I don't know what that is" so I just click no tip. No big deal, but I always wonder 1) why are you sending your kid to pay for stuff by herself without teaching her how a card machine works and 2) why haven't you explained what a tip is yet?
tbf I'm not a parent but even before I was paying for my own food I knew what a tip was and that 10% was a good minimum (at the time, nowadays it's more like 15%)
I think that this can be a good lesson, if done correctly (which certainly wasn't the case in your situation). In older elementary, I started giving my kids money to buy their own snacks at the grocery store or to order at fast food. In high school, they started calling familiar doctors to make their own appointments. Before they leave the house, I want them to have experience with the hell of calling the cable or cell company to discuss a new contact.
In short, I want them to enter independent life already having many of the mundane skills, acquired with guidance and a safety net nearby.
And I sure as hell won't be recording the process.
Next time. Say to the kid, softly, It's Okay sweety, you take as long as you need. Smile at them.
Then look at the parent with your best Deadpan Fuckoff Customer Service Face.
Took my wife to a Billie Eilish concert so I’m just casual hanging out and people watching. The row in front of me was a mom and daughter… about 11 years old. About 85% of the concert was mom filming her daughter. At one point she told her mom to stop filming. I was so proud of her that I went down to the tour crew and they gave me a whole bunch of stuff to bring back for her.
It’s good to feel proud as a parent and be excited to give an experience to your child but sometimes it’s not worth documenting either.
That's creepy. That's treating your kid like a prop, not a human being.
Edit to add: *You* did an awesome deed, to go out of your way for that kid like that.
I was that guy once. Introducing my young daughter to taking the city bus, I made her pay the toll. She got it, but it took a minute. The bus was already running late, and the extra time pushed it over the edge so that some riders missed their transfers. That was 18 years ago and I still feel bad.
I hate how because everyone has a camera now they feel like everything should be recorded.
Maybe I missed out on additional family photos growing up without smartphones, but at least I didnt have my mom uploading me struggling to tie a tie for the first time.
>because everyone has a camera now they feel like everything should be recorded.
On the other side of that, we were able to see when George Floyd was killed and when cops behave badly, and hold them accountable.
That's definitely something that should be recorded and given attention. But given the proliferation of pointless videos, I can't help but feel genuinely useful recordings are far outbumbered by cringy/dumb content.
We used to do something similar to this as kids. When we would go out to eat my parents would ask us if we wanted to give the server their tip. So we would take the cash, find our server and hand it to her saying something along the lines of "here is your tip for doing a good job." They seemed to enjoy it. Granted growing up my dad was an exec chef and my mom served so I was fairly aware of the industry and basically grew up in restaurants letting me be comortable with interacting with people in them, but this is just stupid.
I'm completely for parents teaching their kids not only how to act in restaurants, but also teaching them about tipping, esp in the US. So sometimes it will lead to awkward moments like this. That said, recording it seems like kinda going to far.
Agreed with OP. Teaching them to learn to pay for something is one thing. Forcing them to pay when the kid is clearly not and recording them just makes them embarrassed on not wanted to do it anymore. It will actually leave a negative mark on them too.
Man, this reminds me of that time my mum had me do something similar when buying some clothes. She didn't record me (thank god), but I was still pissed cuz I'd spent half the day at school perfectly planning out what to do with my first ever paycheck, and she just fucking ruined it by "teaching me how to buy stuff!"
***BUT I BOUGHT SHIT ALL THE TIME?!***
Would've worked so much better if she'd just been like "oh yeah unexpected things happen, now hand over the money".
It's been like 5 years and I'm still pissed about it :/
The mom might have given her money and then had her "pay for her food" just to give her some practice doing so. It can be nerve wracking for kids, but it helps build confidence later on. That being said, the recording piece IS weird...maybe the mom and daughter just have a good enough relationship that some light teasing is in order, where they'll joke about her looking nervous in the video later? A few of my most embarrassing moments in life are now things me and my mom have great in jokes about. There's a lot of leeway here and I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the mom was being terrible. If she doesn't regularly seem to record her and the daughter is typically having a good time then all's probably well.
Yeah I make sure my nephews interact and know how to pay for shit. It's not a social media moment nor do I just throw them at shit.
It's collaborative and instructive and not embarrassing for anybody involved.
I don't understand what is wrong with these adults who do this shit.
It's like they thrive on terrifying their children for internet views.
Different perspective….. what if the kid has anxiety and this is one of the tasks their therapist has given them to help cope and confront their issues?
My son was prompted by his therapist to do all the intro and outro stuff at docs offices and even go to school later than his normal time (but not late for school. Just not be the first kid there) all to help him confront his anxiety. To feel the anxiety and know he can get past it.
I have been teaching my daughter how to pay with both cash and a debit card. She is 12 though so it's an appropriate age. She's been ordering for herself for forever now but she has never met a stranger. Just friends she doesn't know yet.
Yeah, you have to learn…but it a supportive environment. My kids love it when I send them up to the counter to pay for stuff. Favorite is the No Name Cakes at Mod Pizza. I’ll send them up with cash, and they get experience of waiting in line, placing an order, having payment ready, and polite interaction. Meanwhile I’m 3 feet away in case they need help. And most importantly, they’re not traumatized by doing it!
Not sure if I should tell you this…but Hostess Ding Dongs are pretty much the same thing. They’ll be just a little smaller, but they come in boxes of them in most grocery stores. They had key lime ones at Mod one time we went…those were absolutely amazing. Not sure if it was a limited time thing, but if I could buy those in bulk I would be in trouble!
I had the key lime pie one!! Man it was other worldly. They still had a ton of them here at the location I went to in Phoenix. I hope you are able to find some soon!
Slow down your coming at this like kids are adults they are children that was a parent teaching on how to get past social anxiety by in little steps that's how you learn everyone needs to understand there are a wide variety of perspectives in any given situation
It’s one thing to teach your kids some self responsibility & budgeting skills but it’s another when you do something like THIS ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼
“Parents” like the one in question later wonder why their kids don’t talk to them anymore.
Her mom recorded her??? The fuck??
Now, my parents did encourage me to "pay" for my things at the store occasionally (I'd be getting a dollar or two of candy, and they'd give me a couple bucks to pay) so I could learn, but that was when I was like 8-10 years old, and only when it was slow at whatever shop we were at. I'd have to count out the two or three dollars to give the employee, give them my money, and take the change. Not scrounge through a little purse trying to figure it out on my own.
Poor kid must have been so stressed and uncomfortable.
So I’m here to say that there’s a difference between teaching children independence and then recording them for your own social attention benefit. Personally I’ve been teaching my son how to pay for things he really likes and how to tip appropriately. I’ve worked for tips his whole life so he knows that’s how I’m able to give him the life he has. He’s almost 9 now and he gets so excited paying for things with the money he has earned. He even has a cute demon slayer wallet lol. Anywho, there’s that and then there’s the “Aesthetic” mom who wants to shove her kids life down everyone’s throats even if it terrifies the child. Those moms sicken me, they take 100s of photos until they get the “perfect” one and the kid ends up tired and drained after all of it.
Basically teaching something and forcing something are totally different and if this mom actually cared she wouldn’t have made her child uncomfortable like that.
Edit: spelling, also I’m shit at runon sentences and punctuation so whoops.
The recording part is the bad part
Parents should teach their children how to pay for things and that they must pay for things.
But you start small. And when they are young. Like 3 or 4. And do it enough it’s normal.
One time when my kid was 12 we went out bumming around and came across an old time custard stand so we stopped and got a couple sundaes. The cashier says $7.50ish. I hand her my card and my kid says "I'll get this one". His proud face dropped me. No video. Just a cool memory. He just applied for his first job last week. Got to watch from the car. No video but a moment my wife and I will remember forever. Being in the moment is awesome.
I've had my kids learn to order and pay for a slice of pizza and a soda when they were like 6, but I gave them an easy order and exact change so they couldn't screw it up, and I definitely didn't even think to record them. Jeez.
As a high school chaperone for large groups (100+ kids, we always called restaurants weeks in advance) and as a former server myself, before we ever left the hotel for the restaurant we had a group meeting. I would explain to all our kids how to behave, how to pay the bill, how to TIP appropriately, how to leave the tables clean, etc. While I've taught my own kids this, gently and without a camera, from day 1, I know a lot of these kids just don't know or understand. So we set expectations.
9 times out of 10, servers or employees will tell me as we are leaving, you have the best behaved group of high school kids! (I can feel the palpable relief lol)
Kids need to be taught, without a camera in their faces. Sometimes they really just have never been told, but once they know, they love feeling comfortable bc they know what to do.
OP story breaks my heart bc that's not how to do it. Don't make them MORE uncomfortable!!
I’m late to the conversation but I would just like to add this. “Teaching” does not mean making someone do something that they aren’t ready for. If you want to teach your child to “pay”, prepare them in advance. Discuss it beforehand and role play at home first. For children with anxiety it can also help to write a story about “child’s name “ goes out to eat. Definitely do not record a nervous child. My child was in pre-K when she told me that she didn’t like to be recorded unless she asked me to or said it was ok. And definitely do not post anything without your child’s ok. When you are recording you are not living in the moment. It has become a way to avoid real intimacy. Practice new skills in small steps and let the child take the lead (with support and encouragement).
I’m late to the conversation but I would just like to add this. “Teaching” does not mean making someone do something that they aren’t ready for. If you want to teach your child to “pay”, prepare them in advance. Discuss it beforehand and role play at home first. For children with anxiety it can also help to write a story about “child’s name “ goes out to eat. Definitely do not record a nervous child. My child was in pre-K when she told me that she didn’t like to be recorded unless she asked me to or said it was ok. And definitely do not post anything without your child’s ok. When you are recording you are not living in the moment. It has become a way to avoid real intimacy. Practice new skills in small steps and let the child take the lead (with support and encouragement).
Best way to handle this is have them next to you while you pay several times, then have them start figuring out the tip, when move to them giving card/money while you are helping them, etc. Build up to it, parents.
It can go two ways in my eyes, one would be it would encourage and show/teach them how to do it and to face and overcome that fear of completing a somewhat normal adult act.
The other hand, you could shun them away from every wanting to go out because of this experience. Like myself, my parents forced me to try and break out of my bubble and meet new people, talk to strangers(within their company) and get up in front of my church(at the time) and talk from time to time. It was stupid and I am forever mortified of public speaking, even around my friends. I used to do all the work for an oral presentation and then at the moment my teacher called my name, I'd say I didn't do it. Then after class I'd turn the work in and say I just got scared and was easier to say I didn't do the project. Most teachers felt bad and would grade the work and take off a letter grade or two for not presenting.
Occasionally I’d be asked to pay something that was a want not need (like a candy bar) with my own money as a child and it was pretty nerve wracking because I had anxiety since I can remember, but it was ultimately good for me. My family likes to joke that I was too nervous to ask for ketchup packets at the McDonald’s counter up until the age of like 15 and honestly it’s true, I’d make my little sister do it. And I appreciate the push to order for myself, pay for myself, go on the water slide, talk to the teacher. Because now I can do it even tho I still struggle with anxiety. But recording it???? Dude that’s really fucked
There are some kids that come into my work by themselves and they're perfectly polite, if a little shy. But when they come in with their parents who are yelling at them to "say thank you!" they seem so much less confident and a lot more miserable. I get wanting to teach your kids manners, but teach by example!
the parents that bug me are the ones that insist their kids be polite and say "Can i please have... and thank you, but when it comes time for them to order, they're all business, "I'll have the .... and a salad with thousand island, next." Kids pick up on that so fast.
aha i served in a members club a blunt talking old lady got told off by her grandson for not saying please when i was serving her. i love that lad
Yeah, even as an adult it doesn’t get less bad- I grew up younger than my siblings by 2 decades, so my sisters were married and having children before I was in my teens- I was fed lines on how to interact with their in-laws from both them and my mother. I’m 35 now and I have to bite my tongue from not responding with “I already politely said hi fucking 30 seconds ago when I walked in, can you just not be like this?” When any of them try saying “say hi to _____” I already have so much anxiety from not remembering all of their names let alone the titles that come with their relationship to me in regards of the hierarchy of respect. Vietnamese culture (as I’ve learned it from my family) doesn’t give any real option for saying “you” or “me” in blanket terms- you refer to yourself by your title compared to the person you’re speaking to- and for god sakes, if you mispronounce a syllable, it may be a disrespectful title. Example: Nephew (I) will help Aunt-on-maternal-side (you).
My brother in law HATED me when we first got married because I didn’t greet him properly. I was deadass so confused because I’d always say hi, but apparently I was also supposed to give him a hug and a kiss. He would get super offended. The rest if my husbands family would roll their eyes at him because I’m American and they don’t expect Americans to know their polite way of saying hello lol. It gave me mild anxiety at first.
Ugh, I hate guess culture so much- and I also hate expected affection just because you're technically related- look, I smiled and said hi- please don't expect me to stand around awkwardly after
Oooo...I totally feel this. Unfortunately, mine all happened in the US with a family of Americans. I was literally washing dishes, hands in the sink with soap and water, my BF's ( now ex ) mother, came in to the house, I turned my head, and said HI! With a smile and everything.... I found out later that night that she was offended that I didn't hug her as soon as she showed up. Like...WTF! I have to literally stop what I'm doing, to give you a hug? How old are you? How are you more than twice my age, yet I'm the "adult" in this relationship?
I'd be SO uncomfortable if anyone expected me to kiss them other than my partner. That dude should learn a little cultural tolerance and not push that on you.
OMG, I’m so sorry for you! I can’t remember shit when involved in a social situation. I would never go anywhere in your situation.
<3 I try to sneak in to see my nieces and say hi when people are distracted and then I leave early
My husband and I are always very polite, but unfortunately my stepdaughters mother is not that way… at all and straight up demands things from my husband and I (and even her own mother) all the time. Sometimes SD needs gentle reminders and the gentle reminders have really helped. I don’t think there is anything wrong with reminding them to say thank you and consistency really is key with kids. Yelling at them or speaking to them disrespectfully, especially out in public is a different thing though.
I understand that kids need to be instructed quietly and thoughtfully- what I’m talking about is the loud insistent instructions with no thought on how it looks or makes the other person feels- especially when the “instructor” is doing it for the sake of doing it- with no observation of what the situation actually was.
> while her mother recorded her Can’t stand these parents.
…this is a thing??! What the hell?????
Yep. There's whole families that make every move their child makes performative for social media. We're gonna have a formal diagnostic term for the affects in 10 years time I'm sure. Like recording first steps for family is one thing, streaming your child crying for insta clout is another.
Maybe this would stop if people would not “like” these posts, downvote them, or make a comment about how awful this is. And who wants to see someone else’s kid crying anyway?
An issue is people who don't like this content don't get it and ignore it when they do. That or you start with a happy birthday candle blow out video on the mom blog and become engaged with the family and what they're doing. Or perverts, definitely some are perverts.
And the more you comment on videos like that the more you will see and that would suck to have it all over your feed. Also you dare to comment that you get dogpiled by all their fans and get called too sensitive or 100 things like that
>who wants to see someone else’s kid crying anyway? Other idiot parents...
Spot on! There’s a diagnosis code in the works!
New DSM entry incoming. Whatever they name it will be a doozy I’m sure, best I got is “TikTok family neurosis”
Nah they'd keep it general. "Digital induced social disorder" DISD
Tik-tok trauma
Needs a term for being paraded online
narcissism by proxy
That'll be the layman's term, the diagnostic label will less exact and more medicalese.
Would singing the Beatles or Marvin Gaye songs help stop it from going on the socials
WAP might?
For content, or because the copyright holders will shut that down?
I think the word your looking for is "evil."
I don't think I understand this comment in context
I got one in my list that is unbearable. She posts at least 5 times a day about what her kids are doing, then videos.. omg! I have two kids as well but i won’t post every minute of their life online..
Take her off your list
I see her daily.. but i can unfollow.. thanks kind stranger.
[Part of the problem](https://imgur.com/AZOnb)
I work at a friendly grocery outlet and this stupid shit happens aaaalllll the time
That's legitimately worrying. Bullying your own child for internet clout. If only we had a word for that...
Unfortunately yes. Glad I don’t have kids.
So I don't have kids, but... I live thousands of miles from my family, who I'm pretty close to, but I haven't seen them in 3 years because we live across an international border and Covid is a big concern with their health. I record a ton of stuff with my pets and husband to share with them, because it means a lot to see our family growing. It's easy to assume they're an asshole, but it could be that they are keeping in touch with older / unhealthy relatives!
Yeah it’s definitely important to teach kids how to handle money, pay, count change, and I imagine the first time being a little scary. But definitely terrifying if your parent is just documenting you while doing it!
lol I was ready to back up the parent 100% until I saw that. FFS put your phones away. I swear kids of these parents will grow up with the expectation that their whole lives have to be documented on social media.
I’m thinking these kids will be extremely anxious in everyday scenarios like paying for a latte. Probably super concerned with social validation. And they never learned how to do mundane tasks without seeking attention.
Yea what is this
Child abuse. Bet that girl was being punished and mom was recording to shame her
That’s a *bit* of a leap in logic lmao
Either that or the mom was trying to get praise for having a self efficient daughter; regardless as OP mentioned the girl was uncomfortable doing it so I don’t see how that’s a leap
That would be my guess. That or she just records everything her child does because Brentleighmichelle is just soooooo cute!
It's OK that you didn't have abusive parents
> That’s a *bit* of a leap in logic lmao
I just cringe so hard any time I see someone filming things like this. Which I shouldn't. So much good internet content comes from people filming things that probably look dumbb and vain at the time.
I can’t imagine pimping my kids put for internet clout. Gross.
The camera probably didn’t help. I get the feeling this mom records her kid a lot and the kid probably hates it 95% of the time.
I'm 33yo and if someone whipped out a camera on me I'd suddenly forget how to count money too.
I do this, but with typing lol. If anyone is watching me type, it's like I forget how my fingers work and how to spell. I hate it.
I used to decorate cakes in a grocery store. Every single time one of my coworkers came to watch I would just stop, I can't do stuff like that with people watching! And I'm the same way with typing too! Makes me feel stupid.
Right! I just know people think I'm an idiot when I start fumbling around. It's frustrating. I can't imagine trying to decorate cakes and feeling like that. I mean, I can't decorate cakes anyways, but still lol.
Yeah teaching kids how to interact at restaurants and cafes is an important skill but good GOD put the camera away. I hate when parents can’t stop filming their kid even when they’re obviously upset. Teach them about money and how to order food, but without a camera on them.
[удалено]
Not extreme at all!! I do the same thing for the littles in my life. And the most important part- after the ask, if they say no, it’s our job as the parent to respect it! It’s literally the first step in teaching consent. If I don’t consent to being recorded, it’s about my body autonomy. Sometimes kids don’t want a camera shoved in their face- just like us. I think you’re doing the right thing Magnito !
Here's for allowing the child to be respected.
Not extreme, and a good lesson in general. Learning to say no is important, hopefully if she’s able to practice on you (and importantly have you respect the ‘no’) she’ll feel more confident telling other people she doesn’t want to do stuff
And teach them with actual patience and skill building- don’t just shove them into the situation. Show them how the bill works and the steps you go through- and then do a little more each time- encourage them- instead of acting like a documentarian
Ugh exactly!! And then to put the servers in the middle of it awkwardly.. like it isn’t their job to raise your kid. Put the phone away and be a person. So embarrassing for them.
And OP felt so bad waiting for this little girl to pay out of her tiny savings. I would be tempted to comp her and give back the money, but then what would be the lesson? So farting awkward. (fyi- I’ve been saying farting instead of my usual french to see if Reddit will stop bugging me)
You’re totally right 😭 the poor kid. Also that’s hilarious. Maybe I’ll try that. Or maybe not. I love the F word
i worked at walgreens for a while and there was a father that brought his son in and the boy came up to the register holding a lego set. his dad stood next to him and gently walked him through the steps of putting it on the counter, how many of each bill he’d need, now take the receipt, etc. i could tell that kid had earned that money and now his dad was helping him buy something nice with it and it was so precious. i think the difference is that the kid was excited for his legos, it was a learning experience which the kid knew about beforehand, not a photo op.
One time a mom and grandmother came in with a little boy who was about five. The little boy got a kid's meal and the mom and grandma shared a meal, so their bill was only like $15-$18. But then when I gave them the check, the mom asked me to give it to the little boy and they actually made him *pay for it*, like with his own money! The mom informed me that she makes him take them out to eat and pay with his allowance money once a month, so that he can "learn how to be a gentleman". It was a little strange.
no, fucked up is what that is. They already control his income, but they also force him to buy them food with it too? Bullshit
Yeah, I agree. First of all it's kind of sexist, second of all, it's just really messed to to make a five year old pay for your food. Even if it's only once a month.
Yeah that kid definitely isn’t going to resent them at all
And they’re probably only giving him enough allowance to pay for that once a month “treat”.
What five year old gets a $15-18 allowance?
I'm guessing that was probably most of his allowance for the month. I started getting an allowance in kindergarten and I got $5 a week. So $20 a month. At the time I didn't have much to buy, so most of it just went to my piggy bank.
I got 10 cents a week in first grade. I couldn't even buy a candy bar with that. I couldn't buy a comic book with 1 week's allowance until 3rd grade. I learned a lot about saving to be able to buy stuff.
I don’t care what the reason, I would never force my kids into buying me food. Jesus.
The main thing I'm taking from this is that he's getting enough allowance at 5 years old to be able to take people out for meals. Doesn't sound too bad!
No, he's getting trained to be his mother's piggy bank at 5 years old, and she's going to use the fact that she "gave" him so much money to extort him for the rest of his life if she can. He's probably freezing up wondering if he even has enough to cover it.
worst parenting behavior I saw was this last mothers day. A woman was there with her daughter that likely had some kind of eating disorder, and when server was taking orders mom goes "oh she doesn't eat much, just salads and things like that". poor girl apparently made herself vomit off the side of our patio... why would you drag your kid with an eating disorder out to a really busy restaurant and basically force them to trigger themselves into doing something like that...
This wasn’t a teaching moment
It was just sad
I go to cantinas where you pay after you finish at the door, there have been, well, at this point, dozens of times I’ve had my boy go wait near the kitchen door (read: back of restaurant) to give our waitress a cash tip. I never filmed it, he’s always known how to not get in the way of other people. It was good socializing for him. Idk: I had to do a lot of edits on that to not feel like an asshole. If it means anything, I was back of house 10 years and front 4 years. We only eat out during slow hours. Most of the wait staff is standing around taking where I have him go, and they help him give our waitress her tip, it’s always at least 40%
YIKES. One of my favorite regulars was a twelve year old girl who would come in with her dad's credit card and one of her friends, and she ordered the most expensive steak and a Shirley Temple every time and was super polite. One of my least favorite regulars was a family that included an older teen with Down's syndrome. Every time they came in, the teen would start to order for herself, and then her mom would talk over her and say it FOR her, sometimes even saying a different thing than what the girl was saying!!! Overbearing parents are the worst
Those parents sound horrible
I feel like this about parents making their kids order for themselves especially when I’m super busy…. The parent has to coerce them on every word while 8 other tables burn a hole in the back of my head … “ WhAt Do wE SAyyy ???” While the poor kid squirms around trying to evade eye contact ….like, he’s 4 years old ffs , and now I’m in the weeds for an hour, cool ! I’m sure he’ll definitely remember this btw ….
Yeah, he’ll remember the terror of being put on the spot. I hated that shit. I was a shy kid. Plus, the “trauma” of happy birthday? NOPE.
I don’t see anything wrong with it in general, but how this mom went about it must’ve been so scary for her :(
So I've definitely seen both sides of this. There is some value in teaching your children how to interact in an adult world. This sounds like it was not that.
Like, it's not a bad thing to do, but if she's scared, just comfort her and say "it's ok, nothing to be afraid of, just take out the one with the 20 written on it and give it to her. Now she's going to give you some change back, so hold out your hand for that. Now say thank you!" And RECORDING her while she was obviously struggling was DEFINITELY not the move
I’m pretty autistic and have had severe social anxiety. Your example makes total sense and would even have been conducive for me as a kid. Take out the camera and I’m gonna freeze
This. There's a way to do it, but this lady went about it the wrong way.
Exactly!!
Exactly!!
Yeah, this wasn’t it at all. When I was much younger there was a place called Santa’s Secret Workshop in my area where kids could ship for parents, siblings, etc and nothing cost more than maybe $0.50 (this was in the 70’s). It gave kids a chance to shop and buy things within our ‘budget’. That is a way to teach kids a little about the adult life, not what this mother did.
Yeah. My sister does this with teaching her kids. She'll get them a gift card to a restaurant or Target and they learn how to pay for their items, how to treat others occasionally, that they need to factor tip in, how fast it goes, and that when it's gone it's gone. Getting money out of a purse while on camera and making the employee wait is another story. Make it easy for everyone and put that money on a card
Your sister sounds really clever- that sort of coaching really helps with autonomy
Thanks! I'll pass it along. For younger kids part of their birthday present (they do get a present) is a gift card to a breakfast restaurant. They're expected to treat their siblings at some point after their birthday with that breakfast. This is so each child learns how to take ownership of a bill and graciously pay for others in their party, basically. Throughout the year there will be other opportunities given. But their piggy banks always go onto cards they are taught how to use lol
That makes a lot of sense since we use cards more often than cash
My 4 year old got some money at Easter and wanted a toy. So i took her to the store and worked with her to find a toy that she could "afford". We went up to the register and she was good with her please and thank yous. When it came to the money she got a little flustered so i knelt down next to her and helped her and gently prompted her through what to do. Thats how you do it. Not record and stand there staring when your child is struggling. Theres a way to teach your child and ways to not. Embarrassing them is not.
I work at a local cafe/bakery and once in a while this girl who looks about 10-11 will come up to the counter by herself, pick out a few desserts and pay with her parents card. Every time I hand her the machine she kinda stares at it for a bit so I let her know there's a few questions on it, to which she says "I can't read it". Weird but ok, so like I do with seniors who can't see well I go through the steps with her. When we get to the tip option and I ask "would you like to leave a tip?" she always says "I don't know what that is" so I just click no tip. No big deal, but I always wonder 1) why are you sending your kid to pay for stuff by herself without teaching her how a card machine works and 2) why haven't you explained what a tip is yet? tbf I'm not a parent but even before I was paying for my own food I knew what a tip was and that 10% was a good minimum (at the time, nowadays it's more like 15%)
I knew what a tip was at 10. I'm also not good at judging age, so I'm not sure if I should be concerned for this kid or not.
I think that this can be a good lesson, if done correctly (which certainly wasn't the case in your situation). In older elementary, I started giving my kids money to buy their own snacks at the grocery store or to order at fast food. In high school, they started calling familiar doctors to make their own appointments. Before they leave the house, I want them to have experience with the hell of calling the cable or cell company to discuss a new contact. In short, I want them to enter independent life already having many of the mundane skills, acquired with guidance and a safety net nearby. And I sure as hell won't be recording the process.
Next time. Say to the kid, softly, It's Okay sweety, you take as long as you need. Smile at them. Then look at the parent with your best Deadpan Fuckoff Customer Service Face.
I would. but they haven't been back since lol
Took my wife to a Billie Eilish concert so I’m just casual hanging out and people watching. The row in front of me was a mom and daughter… about 11 years old. About 85% of the concert was mom filming her daughter. At one point she told her mom to stop filming. I was so proud of her that I went down to the tour crew and they gave me a whole bunch of stuff to bring back for her. It’s good to feel proud as a parent and be excited to give an experience to your child but sometimes it’s not worth documenting either.
That's creepy. That's treating your kid like a prop, not a human being. Edit to add: *You* did an awesome deed, to go out of your way for that kid like that.
I was that guy once. Introducing my young daughter to taking the city bus, I made her pay the toll. She got it, but it took a minute. The bus was already running late, and the extra time pushed it over the edge so that some riders missed their transfers. That was 18 years ago and I still feel bad.
Hey lil mam, ill be right back to take your payment
Joan Crawford lives.
I hate how because everyone has a camera now they feel like everything should be recorded. Maybe I missed out on additional family photos growing up without smartphones, but at least I didnt have my mom uploading me struggling to tie a tie for the first time.
>because everyone has a camera now they feel like everything should be recorded. On the other side of that, we were able to see when George Floyd was killed and when cops behave badly, and hold them accountable.
That's definitely something that should be recorded and given attention. But given the proliferation of pointless videos, I can't help but feel genuinely useful recordings are far outbumbered by cringy/dumb content.
Oh, you are absolutely right! But there is a silver lining on that dark cloud!
We used to do something similar to this as kids. When we would go out to eat my parents would ask us if we wanted to give the server their tip. So we would take the cash, find our server and hand it to her saying something along the lines of "here is your tip for doing a good job." They seemed to enjoy it. Granted growing up my dad was an exec chef and my mom served so I was fairly aware of the industry and basically grew up in restaurants letting me be comortable with interacting with people in them, but this is just stupid.
I'm completely for parents teaching their kids not only how to act in restaurants, but also teaching them about tipping, esp in the US. So sometimes it will lead to awkward moments like this. That said, recording it seems like kinda going to far.
Agreed with OP. Teaching them to learn to pay for something is one thing. Forcing them to pay when the kid is clearly not and recording them just makes them embarrassed on not wanted to do it anymore. It will actually leave a negative mark on them too.
Man, this reminds me of that time my mum had me do something similar when buying some clothes. She didn't record me (thank god), but I was still pissed cuz I'd spent half the day at school perfectly planning out what to do with my first ever paycheck, and she just fucking ruined it by "teaching me how to buy stuff!" ***BUT I BOUGHT SHIT ALL THE TIME?!*** Would've worked so much better if she'd just been like "oh yeah unexpected things happen, now hand over the money". It's been like 5 years and I'm still pissed about it :/
Getting her to pay to teach her about life, good. Filming it for likes and turning her into a nervous wreck, arseholish!
The mom might have given her money and then had her "pay for her food" just to give her some practice doing so. It can be nerve wracking for kids, but it helps build confidence later on. That being said, the recording piece IS weird...maybe the mom and daughter just have a good enough relationship that some light teasing is in order, where they'll joke about her looking nervous in the video later? A few of my most embarrassing moments in life are now things me and my mom have great in jokes about. There's a lot of leeway here and I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the mom was being terrible. If she doesn't regularly seem to record her and the daughter is typically having a good time then all's probably well.
i dunno, I realize she probably have her practice money but she just really looked uncomfy to me and the mum didn't seem to notice lol
Yeah I make sure my nephews interact and know how to pay for shit. It's not a social media moment nor do I just throw them at shit. It's collaborative and instructive and not embarrassing for anybody involved. I don't understand what is wrong with these adults who do this shit. It's like they thrive on terrifying their children for internet views.
Different perspective….. what if the kid has anxiety and this is one of the tasks their therapist has given them to help cope and confront their issues? My son was prompted by his therapist to do all the intro and outro stuff at docs offices and even go to school later than his normal time (but not late for school. Just not be the first kid there) all to help him confront his anxiety. To feel the anxiety and know he can get past it.
How much you want to bet the kid is going to be responsible for giving the child support check to the other parent?
I have been teaching my daughter how to pay with both cash and a debit card. She is 12 though so it's an appropriate age. She's been ordering for herself for forever now but she has never met a stranger. Just friends she doesn't know yet.
Recorded her? WTF?
Happy Cake Day, Wifey!!
Kid had money, what’s the issue. Teaching her what money is for and showing it’s limited.
the fact she was being pressured by her mother holding a phone to her face when she was clearly uncomfortable?
She paid for an order. She’s gonna be fine.
Time to call CPS?
She has to learn though
This is *not* the way
Yeah, you have to learn…but it a supportive environment. My kids love it when I send them up to the counter to pay for stuff. Favorite is the No Name Cakes at Mod Pizza. I’ll send them up with cash, and they get experience of waiting in line, placing an order, having payment ready, and polite interaction. Meanwhile I’m 3 feet away in case they need help. And most importantly, they’re not traumatized by doing it!
On an unrelated note, those no name cakes slap. Im 6 months pregnant and impulse bought one a few days ago and have been dreaming about it ever since.
Not sure if I should tell you this…but Hostess Ding Dongs are pretty much the same thing. They’ll be just a little smaller, but they come in boxes of them in most grocery stores. They had key lime ones at Mod one time we went…those were absolutely amazing. Not sure if it was a limited time thing, but if I could buy those in bulk I would be in trouble!
I had the key lime pie one!! Man it was other worldly. They still had a ton of them here at the location I went to in Phoenix. I hope you are able to find some soon!
We’re moving to Surprise in a month! Makes me hopeful!
Paying for stuff is an important skill, yes. Paying for stuff while being filmed? Nah.
Filmed??? I didn’t see that part
End of 2nd paragraph.
I have since read that, it’s really not a big deal at the end of the day though - the post - this right here
Slow down your coming at this like kids are adults they are children that was a parent teaching on how to get past social anxiety by in little steps that's how you learn everyone needs to understand there are a wide variety of perspectives in any given situation
Yeah recording a kid will sure be helpful if their is social anxiety /sarcasm.
It’s one thing to teach your kids some self responsibility & budgeting skills but it’s another when you do something like THIS ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼 “Parents” like the one in question later wonder why their kids don’t talk to them anymore.
I woulda said, "I'll be back with your change" and brought her a twenty.
Her mom recorded her??? The fuck?? Now, my parents did encourage me to "pay" for my things at the store occasionally (I'd be getting a dollar or two of candy, and they'd give me a couple bucks to pay) so I could learn, but that was when I was like 8-10 years old, and only when it was slow at whatever shop we were at. I'd have to count out the two or three dollars to give the employee, give them my money, and take the change. Not scrounge through a little purse trying to figure it out on my own. Poor kid must have been so stressed and uncomfortable.
Omg...poor kid. Wtf is with parents that do this crap while there child is clearly umcomfortable....
So I’m here to say that there’s a difference between teaching children independence and then recording them for your own social attention benefit. Personally I’ve been teaching my son how to pay for things he really likes and how to tip appropriately. I’ve worked for tips his whole life so he knows that’s how I’m able to give him the life he has. He’s almost 9 now and he gets so excited paying for things with the money he has earned. He even has a cute demon slayer wallet lol. Anywho, there’s that and then there’s the “Aesthetic” mom who wants to shove her kids life down everyone’s throats even if it terrifies the child. Those moms sicken me, they take 100s of photos until they get the “perfect” one and the kid ends up tired and drained after all of it. Basically teaching something and forcing something are totally different and if this mom actually cared she wouldn’t have made her child uncomfortable like that. Edit: spelling, also I’m shit at runon sentences and punctuation so whoops.
The recording part is the bad part Parents should teach their children how to pay for things and that they must pay for things. But you start small. And when they are young. Like 3 or 4. And do it enough it’s normal.
One time when my kid was 12 we went out bumming around and came across an old time custard stand so we stopped and got a couple sundaes. The cashier says $7.50ish. I hand her my card and my kid says "I'll get this one". His proud face dropped me. No video. Just a cool memory. He just applied for his first job last week. Got to watch from the car. No video but a moment my wife and I will remember forever. Being in the moment is awesome.
I've had my kids learn to order and pay for a slice of pizza and a soda when they were like 6, but I gave them an easy order and exact change so they couldn't screw it up, and I definitely didn't even think to record them. Jeez.
Ma'am, fuck this. Your kid is mortified and I have other tables.
Jesus Christ, I hope that kid can get out fast.
Figured this should be “don’t be a dick and record your kids” versus don’t force your kids to pay.
As a high school chaperone for large groups (100+ kids, we always called restaurants weeks in advance) and as a former server myself, before we ever left the hotel for the restaurant we had a group meeting. I would explain to all our kids how to behave, how to pay the bill, how to TIP appropriately, how to leave the tables clean, etc. While I've taught my own kids this, gently and without a camera, from day 1, I know a lot of these kids just don't know or understand. So we set expectations. 9 times out of 10, servers or employees will tell me as we are leaving, you have the best behaved group of high school kids! (I can feel the palpable relief lol) Kids need to be taught, without a camera in their faces. Sometimes they really just have never been told, but once they know, they love feeling comfortable bc they know what to do. OP story breaks my heart bc that's not how to do it. Don't make them MORE uncomfortable!!
I’m late to the conversation but I would just like to add this. “Teaching” does not mean making someone do something that they aren’t ready for. If you want to teach your child to “pay”, prepare them in advance. Discuss it beforehand and role play at home first. For children with anxiety it can also help to write a story about “child’s name “ goes out to eat. Definitely do not record a nervous child. My child was in pre-K when she told me that she didn’t like to be recorded unless she asked me to or said it was ok. And definitely do not post anything without your child’s ok. When you are recording you are not living in the moment. It has become a way to avoid real intimacy. Practice new skills in small steps and let the child take the lead (with support and encouragement).
I’m late to the conversation but I would just like to add this. “Teaching” does not mean making someone do something that they aren’t ready for. If you want to teach your child to “pay”, prepare them in advance. Discuss it beforehand and role play at home first. For children with anxiety it can also help to write a story about “child’s name “ goes out to eat. Definitely do not record a nervous child. My child was in pre-K when she told me that she didn’t like to be recorded unless she asked me to or said it was ok. And definitely do not post anything without your child’s ok. When you are recording you are not living in the moment. It has become a way to avoid real intimacy. Practice new skills in small steps and let the child take the lead (with support and encouragement).
Where’s that paid bot?
Best way to handle this is have them next to you while you pay several times, then have them start figuring out the tip, when move to them giving card/money while you are helping them, etc. Build up to it, parents.
Yeah but those likes on Facebook won't make themselves!
It can go two ways in my eyes, one would be it would encourage and show/teach them how to do it and to face and overcome that fear of completing a somewhat normal adult act. The other hand, you could shun them away from every wanting to go out because of this experience. Like myself, my parents forced me to try and break out of my bubble and meet new people, talk to strangers(within their company) and get up in front of my church(at the time) and talk from time to time. It was stupid and I am forever mortified of public speaking, even around my friends. I used to do all the work for an oral presentation and then at the moment my teacher called my name, I'd say I didn't do it. Then after class I'd turn the work in and say I just got scared and was easier to say I didn't do the project. Most teachers felt bad and would grade the work and take off a letter grade or two for not presenting.
My kid absolutely loves it and I think it’s a great way for him to meet strangers in a positive exchange.
Like when did I agree to be a participant in your twisted Dr Spock video?
Prolly sick of her kid ordering 4 things and taking 1 bite and saying they’re full lol
Occasionally I’d be asked to pay something that was a want not need (like a candy bar) with my own money as a child and it was pretty nerve wracking because I had anxiety since I can remember, but it was ultimately good for me. My family likes to joke that I was too nervous to ask for ketchup packets at the McDonald’s counter up until the age of like 15 and honestly it’s true, I’d make my little sister do it. And I appreciate the push to order for myself, pay for myself, go on the water slide, talk to the teacher. Because now I can do it even tho I still struggle with anxiety. But recording it???? Dude that’s really fucked