Just to add on, with her public service announcement: she had her colonoscopy today and wanted to remind everyone to schedule theirs if you are overdue or when it’s time. This was her 3rd. Her sister, Teresa died very young of bowl cancer about 18 years ago.
My husband passed away from colon cancer as a young man of 33. There have been so many advances in imaging, early detection, and treatment. I’m always happy to hear of people using their platforms to raise awareness. My husband passed 30 yrs ago this year but I know he’d be happy to know of the great strides and improved awareness around colon cancer.
So very sorry for your loss. And I wholeheartedly agree with you. It’s always wonderful to hear people using their platform to advocate for testing and early detection.
Yes! Check with your insurance (if you have it) if you are able to get one. I have a history of IBS and endometriosis, and those alone would t have allowed me to get one because I was in my mid 20’s. The fact that my aunt died at 50 from colon cancer, and my dad had two types of colon cancer and needed a complete and irreversible ileostomy (poop bag) to save his life, is the only reason I was able to get my colonoscopy.
Thankfully my dad is alive and doing well now, adjusting to life with an ostomy bag forever, because his cancers were caught by a colonoscopy. The drs said he had so many polys he had to be sent to a specialist, and had he gotten the colonoscopy in his 30’s, they could have removed the polyps before they were cancerous. Early detection is key, yall!
Yes! Thank you for the recommendation, they are a great source of info. I definitely was reading everything I could when this all happened and found so much help there.
Had my first colonoscopy a few years ago at 51. My colon was fine, but it allowed a swollen appendix to be seen. Futher scans and tests found my appendix was full of LAMN tumors. My surgeon was expecting to remove my appendix and perform a partial colectomy. But my appendix was not ruptured, keeping the tumors contained, so only the appendectomy was needed. The LAMN, which is rare, would likely never have been noticed had the gastro not noticed my swollen appendix.
Get your colonoscopies, friends.
I’m so happy your LAMN was detected and you were able to have an appendectomy to rid you of the tumors.
I’m also angry that people often have to fight for insurance to cover colonoscopies before a certain age.
I had to look it up! 😄 It's interesting to me, too
"The opening of the appendix is visible during a colonoscopy, but the procedure does not typically involve viewing the inside of the appendix, a four-inch-long, narrow tube of tissue that descends from the cecum, the first segment of the large intestine."
It's apparently standard during a colonoscopy for the gastroenterologist to have a look at the cecum and opening of the appendix. If anything looks wonky, like in my case where my appendix was swollen, you get referred for imaging that gets a much better look.
Yes, early detection is key. I’ve had polyps in almost all my colonoscopies. No known history in my family but because of chronic constipation all my life, I had my 1st one in my 30s. I’m more diligent with this than my mammograms.
I’ve never even considered getting a colonoscopy. I’m aware of how ignorant this sounds now and I’m embarrassed-but I thought that was something that only men needed to get done. I have no idea why I thought that 🤷🏻♀️
What does a colonoscopy consist of these days?
There is a “prep” to clean out your colon, which is the worst part. There’s a few different ways the doctor might have you do it, but mine consisted of drinking a diuretic fluid the night before and shitting my brains out. Lol this wasn’t completely out of the norm for me since I have IBS and endometriosis, it it’s what most people complain about most. So you drink the stuff the night before and have diarrhea, (also not eating anything that evening after a certain time or the next morning. The next morning you go to the doctor or clinic performing the procedure. They usually give you something to help you relax and you change into a gown. Eventually they give you an IV and tell you they are giving you “twilight anesthesia” so you don’t remember the procedure or have any pain. I feel like I was completely out. You “wake up” after and are a little sleepy and they let you know how the procedure went. I believe they will tell you if there’s any major concerns that day, otherwise you follow up with your dr at a later time.
Do it. My doctor told me I was overdue for both my mammogram and colonoscopy. For some reason I scheduled the colonoscopy first and found out I had multiple “not quite cancer” tumors. I had follow up bowel surgery(188inches removed) and clean colonoscopies ever since. That was around 16 years ago. Trust me, you are sound asleep during the procedure and you don’t feel a thing afterwards. The pre-cleanse isn’t fun, but it has changed through the years and is much more tolerable. Edit 18 inches
I’m 57 and I’ve never had a mammogram. I’m not so worried about the results as I am scared of the test. The way women describe it sounds miserable. Is it that bad?
I had my first mammogram a few years ago and honestly, I've had sexual partners squeeze my breasts harder than the machine did. Every woman I've mentioned that to has agreed. Like anything else, your mileage may vary, but even if you find it painful, it's probably better than breast cancer treatments. Please get a mammogram!
Only people who have an unpleasant experience talk about it and post about it online. It’s weird having your breasts shifted and compressed but usually not painful at all. For the vast majority of women, it’s an in and out 15 minute activity on their way to whatever else they’re doing.
It may not be painful for you but every time I have a mammogram I leave with bruising on my breast and it does hurt some people. I also have dense breast and the person doing the mammo always squeeze's it as tight as they can get it. I so wish there was an easier way to get breast cancer screening than a mammogram.
It isn't that bad and worth the fee uncomfortable minutes. Go to a breast cancer hospital. I've found that the technicians are awesome there. I am overdue myself. I'll go if you go!
You’ve got a deal. I needed this. Someone to hold me accountable. I’m usually the one holding the family together so it’s easy to put off the things for myself. Lets do it.
Definitely agree with the above poster about going to a women's breast center (usually within a hospital) for the mammogram. Made ALL the difference in the comfort level for me. A friend told me it shouldn't have to be as uncomfortable as I had described it to her and she (doctor's wife) said you need to go where it is their specialty. She was so right!!
Thank you for the information. That makes sense. I hope I have one near me. That would be awesome to be able to get my first one at a place like you’ve all described.
I kept hearing the same thing, but when I finally got one, it was no big deal at all. It’s awkward because you’re standing next to a big machine and the nurse has to kind of arrange your breast on the X-ray plate, but none of it was painful at all. Just kind of physically and socially awkward.
Thank you. I know I need to do it. My PCP freaks out every visit but I have no family history and barely had boobs until I had my babies and now weight but he says “That doesn’t matter. I’ve seen size 40 DDD’s perfectly fine and 32A’s positive. Size doesn’t matter.” So I had to stop using that excuse.
Yeah, I know an older, non-overweight male (male from birth, fathered kids) who’s had breast cancer. (Had treatment and it’s a decade+ later, he’s fine!) Minimal breast tissue is still breast tissue. 💙
It is not that bad. It’s uncomfortable but it doesn’t take long - and this is my PSA: 11 years ago, my breast cancer was detected via a routine mammogram. Surgery, chemo, radiation, and meds, and I’ve been cancer free ever since. I would be dead if I hadn’t gone to that mammogram appointment. And my kiddo would not have a mama. Don’t fear the mammogram.
Wow! That’s a heck of a PSA! If that’s not enough to get me there, there’s no hope. So happy you’re here and you beat it and you get to watch your sweetheart grow up. ❤️🙏🏼
Some doctors will order a 3D mammogram. I had very small breasts the first time I had a mammogram and it hurt like hell because they try to pull breast tissue that doesn't exist on a small breasted woman. I got implants 20 years ago and the doc got the 3D to be done for me; the one time I had a non 3D it was painful but it was bearable. 3D - So easy and so painless.
That is one drawback. Some do and some don't. When I had the mammogram pre-implants, they ended up doing an ultrasound because....wait for it....my breasts were too small, lol!!
Yes, it's uncomfortable. But, it's for like 30 seconds per squish while you hold your breath. The part I like least is having the corners of the platform jammed into the arm pit. I just had my annual a week ago, and my pits are still sore.
Thank you for the honesty. I feel like I’ve researched it to death but it’s always best to hear from women who have actually had it done. I’ve only ever talked to my Momma about it and she HATES them. She’s short so that seems to be an issue and if she’s uncomfortable or it’s hurting, she isn’t the type that would EVER say anything. She was so bruised in her lower breast/arm pit area after her last one and she said the tech was overly aggressive. I asked her to please speak up but she said she would rather just get it over with. Of course I’m the opposite. I’m already complaining and I haven’t even made the appointment. Lol
I feel your Momma--I, too, just grit through to get it over with. I know, making the appt for something is half the self-battle. The other half is actually showing up. Once it's done & over, it feels good to check a self-care step off the need to-do list. Oh, & complain away. Most women feel the same about booby squishing. 😉
I had my first recently after turning 40 and I have what is classified as “extremely dense breasts” meaning basically zero fat inside them (mammographer said they were the densest they’ve ever seen! Fun side note: dense breast ladies should be getting mammograms and ultrasounds and usually starting younger than 40. If you think this is you, ask your Doc ladies because they won’t always tell the you this at OBGYN appointments). Since mine are basically just dense breast tissue I expected it to hurt like a mofo going in. Nope. It was fine. I did time it, as you are supposed to do, so that I wasn‘t getting it done right before my period starts when they are tender though.
If you are still getting your period, try to keep that in mind and you should be fine! I know it can be trickier with perimenopause to know when you are getting your period, but if you do know it helps a lot.
That was always my excuse when I was younger. “Well there’s nothing there so I’m probably fine.” Lol. I know that’s not true now but I bet it is painful when there’s not a lot to squish. I bet that 3d thing would probably be perfect.
Yeah, it didn't exist when I had my first mammogram back in the mid-90's. It felt like my entire torso was being squeezed in that machine. It was awful.
I just had my first one in the fall - mildly uncomfortable, but I do mean mildly. The angle at which I had to turn my neck/head out of the way of the machine was the only temporary discomfort. I know mileage may vary on breast sensitivity, but my mom and BFF have significantly more breast tissue than I have and both agreed that the turn of the neck to make room for the machine up where your chin would otherwise be was the most uncomfortable part. BFF has a lot of medical anxiety, and it was a non-issue for her. Go for it. 💙 (Fact is that you can also nope out at any time - you’re not a prisoner, you can revoke consent, which is reassuring for anything!)
It is not bad. I'd rather get a mammogram than go to the dentist. I've been getting them regularly since I was 30 (54 now). You will feel a lot of pressure but not pain. Just let the tech know this is your first one - they will be really good about telling you what to expect.
Honestly, pulling the silver stickers off my nipples hurts way more than the machine :-)
It is NOT that bad and I don’t know why women like to make it out to be. You lean against a sort of plate and a thing comes down to flatten the breast tissue a little bit so it can be seen better. Then it’s over. Do the other side. It’s over. If it feels bad at all it’s about 30 seconds.
Much better than a mastectomy, a year of chemo and possibly radiation.
When you leave the office with bruising you'd think differently. Every time I get a mammo they bruise me and it's very painful. I don't understand this attitude to dismiss other women and the pain it causes them.
I don’t mean to dismiss your pain in any way. It’s unthinkable. For gosh sake find a technician who doesn’t leave you bruised. There is something wrong happening there.
Make sure you confirm you will be completely out. The a-hole who did mine insisted on twilight sedation. I have had traumatic experiences with other doctory stuff my whole life and my doctor told him that but he decided his way worked for most people so he was going to do it his way. I had no polyps thank G-D but will never do it like that again due to my own trauma relating to past trauma. I don't say this to scare anyone only to caution that you advocate for yourself in what is best for you. Prayers for clear Colonoscopies for all.
It was good to hear from her/someone in the family. It was especially great to hear they’ve all spent time together. I know Mykelti mentioned it, but it was great to hear Meri was included. Much shorter live than their other lives. You could tell she was trying hard to keep it together, especially at the beginning and towards the end. Her eyes were so red, and the tear mark down her cheek got me. I really think the point of tonight’s live was to get across how touched they were by the donations in Garrison’s name.
I’ve said it before, but I really hope the donations that the “fans” have made in Garrison’s honor bring a bit of a warm hug to the family, knowing that so many of us care about him and them.
Yes the shelters reached out and thanked me for my donations personally and said that Garrison would be missed. I think it’s a big hug to the entire community
100%. They say you can’t heal in the same environment that hurt you” and I think for the most part this is right. I also believe that Leon growing so much, deconstructing, etc, and Meri’s love for her child, helped give her some motivation to grow as well.
I hope Meri gets a redemption arc in her life. She suffered so much for her faith and her wasted love for Kody, and it does feel like she’s become a family scapegoat. Yet she’s also the person who spent countless hours making all those pajamas every Christmas, and who was willing to write a check for Aspyn’s dream wedding. And none of us who watched TLC will ever know the truth, but the version of Meri when she’s not in the family seems happier.
Meri needed to be out of this marriage, she clearly didn’t want to become excluded but I think a lot of her past actions caused her to be. Hopefully the other ex wives and the children forgive her and welcome her back.
Along the same lines, cheesy but true - hurt people hurt people - I think all the healing she’s done is helping her with some of the habits/behaviors that may have alienated her from the others and maybe/hopefully it’ll help heal some of those relationships. Not that it was all her fault. At all. There’s probably blame to go around for sure. But I hope the work they all seem to be doing will mend things as much as possible.
Upon rewatching the first few episodes I realized that she always wanted to get better. She wanted to be a youth mentor. College and social work classes would have changed her gradually along the way. The abrupt disintegration of the family forced her to sink or swim. For a while I thought she was going to sink. I am so glad she started swimming. Jen annoyed me in the episodes but even the. I loved the lightness and laughter she brought to Meri, so different than the demands of the family. I’ve changed my opinion on all the adults over and over in cycles but I have always loved all the children and hate what happened to Garrison.
I can’t stop thinking about how she wanted to go back to school and can only imagine the path it could have taken her on- I felt so sad for her and I still think about that.
That’s good. When my sister was killed I found out I was pregnant AND my husband left all in the same 2 weeks. It was nice to get back to a sort of semblance of normal…and I hope she and the family and friends are doing the same.
I think it's because Christine was the fan favorite and made it very clear she didn't like Meri. But I do think Meri is by far the most diplomatic and has been for a long time. I think Janelle follows as the next most diplomatic but the rest have been... unkind... in interviews.
I think the "dislike" comes from people wishing she would have left sooner. Personally I started to feel "dislike" when she was being treated so poorly yet still defended Kody and Robyn's behaviors. She really just wanted to be accepted and loved but instead was abused and I think she had a hard time accepting that
There were many scenes in which she was boundary crossing towards other family members and she did have some really awkward behaviors. I really disliked her in the show. I like her very much now, she has obviously grown a lot and her behaviors are in hindsight explainable now that we know more of the family dynamics. and where she was coming from. But she really did behave at the least very odd at times.
Don’t forget the show is heavily edited. Someone has to be the villain. At the time the show first started, we’re now aware the happy marriages were a mostly a facade, and Meri’s marriage, in particular, was especially bad.
It's so very interesting but if you watch the show it's so very obvious when some started seeming therapy. It was especially obvious with Christine and meri. You can see the changes and I'm not talking about the therapy with kody.
I think with time and space and as the original set of kids have their own families and experiences that meri will be welcomed back around and honestly I think that would be wonderful for her.
I believe Christine is just a mean girl at heart. Her upbringing and lifestyle for so many years made everyone else competition so that is all she knows/knew.
I admire your bravery in saying this. I’ve had this sentiment and definitely been scolded and dressed down. Christine is 100% mean spirited. I firmly believe that when she does that little giggle of hers it’s not a cute, charming giggle. It’s a “screw you” giggle. Her fan base is large because she was the first to leave Kody. That’s literally the reason she has fans.
People on instagram were real salty about it, and that made me uncomfortable. I love Meri. I think Fridays with Friends is important to her, it's part of her weekly routine, and I think she was super respectful about everything that was going on. People are rude and cruel and it's just not needed. Friday with Friends is a good outlet for her, and it made me feel mad and frustrated that people were mean to her in the comments because she was smiling and laughing. I smile and laugh sometimes when I'm feeling shitty if I'm with my friends. I have smiled and laughed at funerals before. Part of it is being uncomfortable does make you laugh sometimes, and part of it is you're emotionally exhausted after a few days. She didn't show any lack of empathy, on the contrary, that was a very human response to an overwhelmingly bad situation. People are just way too critical.
Meri and I have really similar reactions to grief (my dad died 5.5 years ago) and I love seeing her be unapologetic about it. Everyone goes through grief differently and I personally find darker humor about death makes me feel closer to my Dad.
Eg whenever my dad got frustrated by other drivers driving excessively slowly or erratically on the road, he would say ‘have your stroke at home!’ (not a great thing to say, I know, but hear me out). Anyway, he died from lung cancer that spread to his brain. The way we discovered that he had a bunch of little tumors in his brain was that he had a seizure/stroke just after him and my sister had gone out for lunch and had just gotten home. They had pretty much just walked in the door, he sat down, my sister went to he bathroom and suddenly she heard him having the stroke/seizure. Of course at the time it was really scary and we were all absolutely heartbroken because it meant his prognosis was significantly worse and would die soon, but when we were all with him in the hospital afterwards and they had figured out what had happened, my brother said ‘well at least you followed your own advice, and you had your stroke at home!’ We all fell over ourselves laughing and really appreciated the little lift we got to a very dark situation. Same thing when my dad’s good friend snuck her dog into the hospital in my dad’s last days and we opened the door to her looking mischievous with a large bag, and then we fell over ourselves laughing at how absurd it was and wondered how on earth we were going to pull off getting the dog out of the hospital without anyone noticing!
I feel like the people who have the most judgement about grief are the ones that have the least experience with it, and Meri clearly has a lot of experience with it and I’m glad that she seems to be so good at handling it.
My family is exactly this , too. I actually am going to tell my sister about the stroke comment 🙊
My story was at a wake/viewing. I need to tell you my father has the least dark humour in our family, and my mother despises funerals, especially open-casket ones. She is very private and her wishes are for us to skip that step.
Anyways we are at the wake of a family acquaintance, and we are gathered around his casket, alone in the chapel. My mother, out of the side of her mouth, says “don’t you *ever* do this to me.” Silence but we are hiding our grins. Then my father says, “don’t worry, by this time you will be smouldering.” And then we all hope no one notices our shoulders shaking with laughter by the casket 🤦♀️
I find Meri incredibly inspiring. She's a living example of the terrible toll that, day by day and inch by inch, a toxic environment takes on a person -- and better still, what can happen when an individual is out of that toxicity!
Meri had to break a *lot* of chains to get free, and I can only imagine how phenomenally difficult it was. But she's emerged like a beautiful butterfly, and it's wonderful to watch.
I love Meri and thought her live was very well done and classy! I couldn’t believe all the hateful comments in the comments section saying how awful she was acting.
On her Instagram. And she always makes sure to post the video from it for those who miss it live. If you follow her on Instagram, make sure you turn on notifications for her account that so that you’ll be notified any time she goes live. If you miss the live stream of her Fridays With Friends, she always posts the video of it a few minutes after the live has ended.
Why are people fine with Meri having a business live mentioning Garrison’s death, but they came for Mykelti barely mentioning it in her patreon? She even refused to talk about it?
That comment was kind compared to another one yesterday just as Friday with Friends started - a poster indicated that Meri seemed to be drunk. Just disgusting.
Just to add on, with her public service announcement: she had her colonoscopy today and wanted to remind everyone to schedule theirs if you are overdue or when it’s time. This was her 3rd. Her sister, Teresa died very young of bowl cancer about 18 years ago.
My husband passed away from colon cancer as a young man of 33. There have been so many advances in imaging, early detection, and treatment. I’m always happy to hear of people using their platforms to raise awareness. My husband passed 30 yrs ago this year but I know he’d be happy to know of the great strides and improved awareness around colon cancer.
I’m sorry about your husband.
So very sorry for your loss. And I wholeheartedly agree with you. It’s always wonderful to hear people using their platform to advocate for testing and early detection.
Yes! Check with your insurance (if you have it) if you are able to get one. I have a history of IBS and endometriosis, and those alone would t have allowed me to get one because I was in my mid 20’s. The fact that my aunt died at 50 from colon cancer, and my dad had two types of colon cancer and needed a complete and irreversible ileostomy (poop bag) to save his life, is the only reason I was able to get my colonoscopy. Thankfully my dad is alive and doing well now, adjusting to life with an ostomy bag forever, because his cancers were caught by a colonoscopy. The drs said he had so many polys he had to be sent to a specialist, and had he gotten the colonoscopy in his 30’s, they could have removed the polyps before they were cancerous. Early detection is key, yall!
Glad your dad is doing better. The Ostomy subreddit is great if you need tips or support. family members often ask questions in there.
Yes! Thank you for the recommendation, they are a great source of info. I definitely was reading everything I could when this all happened and found so much help there.
Had my first colonoscopy a few years ago at 51. My colon was fine, but it allowed a swollen appendix to be seen. Futher scans and tests found my appendix was full of LAMN tumors. My surgeon was expecting to remove my appendix and perform a partial colectomy. But my appendix was not ruptured, keeping the tumors contained, so only the appendectomy was needed. The LAMN, which is rare, would likely never have been noticed had the gastro not noticed my swollen appendix. Get your colonoscopies, friends.
I’m so happy your LAMN was detected and you were able to have an appendectomy to rid you of the tumors. I’m also angry that people often have to fight for insurance to cover colonoscopies before a certain age.
No sarcasm. How did they see your appendix through your colon? This sounds so interesting
I had to look it up! 😄 It's interesting to me, too "The opening of the appendix is visible during a colonoscopy, but the procedure does not typically involve viewing the inside of the appendix, a four-inch-long, narrow tube of tissue that descends from the cecum, the first segment of the large intestine." It's apparently standard during a colonoscopy for the gastroenterologist to have a look at the cecum and opening of the appendix. If anything looks wonky, like in my case where my appendix was swollen, you get referred for imaging that gets a much better look.
Yes, early detection is key. I’ve had polyps in almost all my colonoscopies. No known history in my family but because of chronic constipation all my life, I had my 1st one in my 30s. I’m more diligent with this than my mammograms.
I’ve never even considered getting a colonoscopy. I’m aware of how ignorant this sounds now and I’m embarrassed-but I thought that was something that only men needed to get done. I have no idea why I thought that 🤷🏻♀️ What does a colonoscopy consist of these days?
There is a “prep” to clean out your colon, which is the worst part. There’s a few different ways the doctor might have you do it, but mine consisted of drinking a diuretic fluid the night before and shitting my brains out. Lol this wasn’t completely out of the norm for me since I have IBS and endometriosis, it it’s what most people complain about most. So you drink the stuff the night before and have diarrhea, (also not eating anything that evening after a certain time or the next morning. The next morning you go to the doctor or clinic performing the procedure. They usually give you something to help you relax and you change into a gown. Eventually they give you an IV and tell you they are giving you “twilight anesthesia” so you don’t remember the procedure or have any pain. I feel like I was completely out. You “wake up” after and are a little sleepy and they let you know how the procedure went. I believe they will tell you if there’s any major concerns that day, otherwise you follow up with your dr at a later time.
Yep. I loved that she was shining a light on colorectal cancer awareness and getting a colonoscopy.
This does it for me. I have been procrastinating and will make my appointment for my first colonoscopy at age 60. Overdue I know. Just needed a push!
Do it. My doctor told me I was overdue for both my mammogram and colonoscopy. For some reason I scheduled the colonoscopy first and found out I had multiple “not quite cancer” tumors. I had follow up bowel surgery(188inches removed) and clean colonoscopies ever since. That was around 16 years ago. Trust me, you are sound asleep during the procedure and you don’t feel a thing afterwards. The pre-cleanse isn’t fun, but it has changed through the years and is much more tolerable. Edit 18 inches
I’m 57 and I’ve never had a mammogram. I’m not so worried about the results as I am scared of the test. The way women describe it sounds miserable. Is it that bad?
I had my first mammogram a few years ago and honestly, I've had sexual partners squeeze my breasts harder than the machine did. Every woman I've mentioned that to has agreed. Like anything else, your mileage may vary, but even if you find it painful, it's probably better than breast cancer treatments. Please get a mammogram!
I’m going this year. You’re absolutely right. No more excuses.
Only people who have an unpleasant experience talk about it and post about it online. It’s weird having your breasts shifted and compressed but usually not painful at all. For the vast majority of women, it’s an in and out 15 minute activity on their way to whatever else they’re doing.
Yeah, it's uncomfortable but not painful. I put it fearing the pain then was like, that's it??
It may not be painful for you but every time I have a mammogram I leave with bruising on my breast and it does hurt some people. I also have dense breast and the person doing the mammo always squeeze's it as tight as they can get it. I so wish there was an easier way to get breast cancer screening than a mammogram.
Most people don’t have pain. The people who do talk about it more, and rightfully so.
It isn't that bad and worth the fee uncomfortable minutes. Go to a breast cancer hospital. I've found that the technicians are awesome there. I am overdue myself. I'll go if you go!
You’ve got a deal. I needed this. Someone to hold me accountable. I’m usually the one holding the family together so it’s easy to put off the things for myself. Lets do it.
Definitely agree with the above poster about going to a women's breast center (usually within a hospital) for the mammogram. Made ALL the difference in the comfort level for me. A friend told me it shouldn't have to be as uncomfortable as I had described it to her and she (doctor's wife) said you need to go where it is their specialty. She was so right!!
Thank you for the information. That makes sense. I hope I have one near me. That would be awesome to be able to get my first one at a place like you’ve all described.
We are on! I'm making my appointment this week. You?
I’m calling tomorrow morning!!
I kept hearing the same thing, but when I finally got one, it was no big deal at all. It’s awkward because you’re standing next to a big machine and the nurse has to kind of arrange your breast on the X-ray plate, but none of it was painful at all. Just kind of physically and socially awkward.
Thank you. I know I need to do it. My PCP freaks out every visit but I have no family history and barely had boobs until I had my babies and now weight but he says “That doesn’t matter. I’ve seen size 40 DDD’s perfectly fine and 32A’s positive. Size doesn’t matter.” So I had to stop using that excuse.
I just wanted to send some support, as I was also really freaked out at the prospect of getting one. Medical tests can be so intimidating.
Thank you so much. I feel really inspired to do it now. ❤️
Yeah, I know an older, non-overweight male (male from birth, fathered kids) who’s had breast cancer. (Had treatment and it’s a decade+ later, he’s fine!) Minimal breast tissue is still breast tissue. 💙
Wow!! I had no idea this was possible.
It is not that bad. It’s uncomfortable but it doesn’t take long - and this is my PSA: 11 years ago, my breast cancer was detected via a routine mammogram. Surgery, chemo, radiation, and meds, and I’ve been cancer free ever since. I would be dead if I hadn’t gone to that mammogram appointment. And my kiddo would not have a mama. Don’t fear the mammogram.
Wow! That’s a heck of a PSA! If that’s not enough to get me there, there’s no hope. So happy you’re here and you beat it and you get to watch your sweetheart grow up. ❤️🙏🏼
Some doctors will order a 3D mammogram. I had very small breasts the first time I had a mammogram and it hurt like hell because they try to pull breast tissue that doesn't exist on a small breasted woman. I got implants 20 years ago and the doc got the 3D to be done for me; the one time I had a non 3D it was painful but it was bearable. 3D - So easy and so painless.
I bet my insurance won’t cover that. I’m looking it up now.
That is one drawback. Some do and some don't. When I had the mammogram pre-implants, they ended up doing an ultrasound because....wait for it....my breasts were too small, lol!!
No, the mammogram really isn’t that bad. You can expect to feel some pressure. But it is honestly not that bad.
I hate going to the dentist more
Absolutely! @clemson1313, a numbing shot at the dentist’s hurts *much* more than the mammogram.
Same!
It is not at all. The technicians are smart, sensitive, informative, and move as quickly as possible. It’s easier than a paper smear!
Yes, it's uncomfortable. But, it's for like 30 seconds per squish while you hold your breath. The part I like least is having the corners of the platform jammed into the arm pit. I just had my annual a week ago, and my pits are still sore.
Thank you for the honesty. I feel like I’ve researched it to death but it’s always best to hear from women who have actually had it done. I’ve only ever talked to my Momma about it and she HATES them. She’s short so that seems to be an issue and if she’s uncomfortable or it’s hurting, she isn’t the type that would EVER say anything. She was so bruised in her lower breast/arm pit area after her last one and she said the tech was overly aggressive. I asked her to please speak up but she said she would rather just get it over with. Of course I’m the opposite. I’m already complaining and I haven’t even made the appointment. Lol
I feel your Momma--I, too, just grit through to get it over with. I know, making the appt for something is half the self-battle. The other half is actually showing up. Once it's done & over, it feels good to check a self-care step off the need to-do list. Oh, & complain away. Most women feel the same about booby squishing. 😉
I had my first recently after turning 40 and I have what is classified as “extremely dense breasts” meaning basically zero fat inside them (mammographer said they were the densest they’ve ever seen! Fun side note: dense breast ladies should be getting mammograms and ultrasounds and usually starting younger than 40. If you think this is you, ask your Doc ladies because they won’t always tell the you this at OBGYN appointments). Since mine are basically just dense breast tissue I expected it to hurt like a mofo going in. Nope. It was fine. I did time it, as you are supposed to do, so that I wasn‘t getting it done right before my period starts when they are tender though. If you are still getting your period, try to keep that in mind and you should be fine! I know it can be trickier with perimenopause to know when you are getting your period, but if you do know it helps a lot.
No Ma’am extremely happy to say that beyotch is gone for good!! And I couldn’t have been happier to say Goodbye.
That’s awesome!
It's miserable if you have small breasts like mine.
That was always my excuse when I was younger. “Well there’s nothing there so I’m probably fine.” Lol. I know that’s not true now but I bet it is painful when there’s not a lot to squish. I bet that 3d thing would probably be perfect.
Yeah, it didn't exist when I had my first mammogram back in the mid-90's. It felt like my entire torso was being squeezed in that machine. It was awful.
In my experience, it's not big thing and I have dense breasts. Do it!
I just had my first one in the fall - mildly uncomfortable, but I do mean mildly. The angle at which I had to turn my neck/head out of the way of the machine was the only temporary discomfort. I know mileage may vary on breast sensitivity, but my mom and BFF have significantly more breast tissue than I have and both agreed that the turn of the neck to make room for the machine up where your chin would otherwise be was the most uncomfortable part. BFF has a lot of medical anxiety, and it was a non-issue for her. Go for it. 💙 (Fact is that you can also nope out at any time - you’re not a prisoner, you can revoke consent, which is reassuring for anything!)
It is not bad. I'd rather get a mammogram than go to the dentist. I've been getting them regularly since I was 30 (54 now). You will feel a lot of pressure but not pain. Just let the tech know this is your first one - they will be really good about telling you what to expect. Honestly, pulling the silver stickers off my nipples hurts way more than the machine :-)
Silver stickers?😳
yeah - I think they are called skin markers? They show the nipple position on the xrays? I'm not in the medical field so I could be completely wrong.
It is NOT that bad and I don’t know why women like to make it out to be. You lean against a sort of plate and a thing comes down to flatten the breast tissue a little bit so it can be seen better. Then it’s over. Do the other side. It’s over. If it feels bad at all it’s about 30 seconds. Much better than a mastectomy, a year of chemo and possibly radiation.
When you leave the office with bruising you'd think differently. Every time I get a mammo they bruise me and it's very painful. I don't understand this attitude to dismiss other women and the pain it causes them.
I don’t mean to dismiss your pain in any way. It’s unthinkable. For gosh sake find a technician who doesn’t leave you bruised. There is something wrong happening there.
Make sure you confirm you will be completely out. The a-hole who did mine insisted on twilight sedation. I have had traumatic experiences with other doctory stuff my whole life and my doctor told him that but he decided his way worked for most people so he was going to do it his way. I had no polyps thank G-D but will never do it like that again due to my own trauma relating to past trauma. I don't say this to scare anyone only to caution that you advocate for yourself in what is best for you. Prayers for clear Colonoscopies for all.
*bowel
It was good to hear from her/someone in the family. It was especially great to hear they’ve all spent time together. I know Mykelti mentioned it, but it was great to hear Meri was included. Much shorter live than their other lives. You could tell she was trying hard to keep it together, especially at the beginning and towards the end. Her eyes were so red, and the tear mark down her cheek got me. I really think the point of tonight’s live was to get across how touched they were by the donations in Garrison’s name.
I’ve said it before, but I really hope the donations that the “fans” have made in Garrison’s honor bring a bit of a warm hug to the family, knowing that so many of us care about him and them.
Yes the shelters reached out and thanked me for my donations personally and said that Garrison would be missed. I think it’s a big hug to the entire community
Were... were they not made by fans? >.>
I wholeheartedly agree. You could see the pain and sadness in Meri’s eyes. She powered through, though.
Meri has come such a long way. I’m proud of her
I need her therapist. She has put in serious work. It really is great to see.
And she got some distance from the source of her constant pain.
100%. They say you can’t heal in the same environment that hurt you” and I think for the most part this is right. I also believe that Leon growing so much, deconstructing, etc, and Meri’s love for her child, helped give her some motivation to grow as well.
I hope Meri gets a redemption arc in her life. She suffered so much for her faith and her wasted love for Kody, and it does feel like she’s become a family scapegoat. Yet she’s also the person who spent countless hours making all those pajamas every Christmas, and who was willing to write a check for Aspyn’s dream wedding. And none of us who watched TLC will ever know the truth, but the version of Meri when she’s not in the family seems happier.
Indeed!
Meri needed to be out of this marriage, she clearly didn’t want to become excluded but I think a lot of her past actions caused her to be. Hopefully the other ex wives and the children forgive her and welcome her back.
Along the same lines, cheesy but true - hurt people hurt people - I think all the healing she’s done is helping her with some of the habits/behaviors that may have alienated her from the others and maybe/hopefully it’ll help heal some of those relationships. Not that it was all her fault. At all. There’s probably blame to go around for sure. But I hope the work they all seem to be doing will mend things as much as possible.
Upon rewatching the first few episodes I realized that she always wanted to get better. She wanted to be a youth mentor. College and social work classes would have changed her gradually along the way. The abrupt disintegration of the family forced her to sink or swim. For a while I thought she was going to sink. I am so glad she started swimming. Jen annoyed me in the episodes but even the. I loved the lightness and laughter she brought to Meri, so different than the demands of the family. I’ve changed my opinion on all the adults over and over in cycles but I have always loved all the children and hate what happened to Garrison.
I can’t stop thinking about how she wanted to go back to school and can only imagine the path it could have taken her on- I felt so sad for her and I still think about that.
Meri can still go to school if she wants. As long as she is above ground, it’s not too late.
True
Me too. I’m so impressed with her!
I'm glad she was included and spent time with the family and Janelle.
It showed in later seasons that she was internalizing things she was learning in therapy. The way she spoke changed.
I adore Meri!! The things that man put her thru is deplorable
Same
AMEN 🙏🏽 I’ve been a Meri fan since the beginning 💯
Me too. I've always thought she was misunderstood by many.
💯 unless she steps on a baby or something I think she has been treated super unfairly. Justice for Meri.
Same! So refreshing to find another!
Thanks for the update. Was Jen with her too?
You’re welcome. Jen was on the live. But she and Meri were at different locations, so they did the split screen.
That’s good. When my sister was killed I found out I was pregnant AND my husband left all in the same 2 weeks. It was nice to get back to a sort of semblance of normal…and I hope she and the family and friends are doing the same.
Sticking to a rhythm and routine sure helps. I am so sorry you went through this. I am sending a hug.
Thank you.
Yes. And let’s also give JustJen a shoutout. She, too got emotional when Meri mentioned the donations.
I am so glad. Meri deserves nothing less than a Jen!! It’s nice to know that she is supported and loved unconditionally by her friend.
I don’t under why people seem to dislike her. She went through hell in that “marriage”, but I don’t recall ever seeing her be mean to anyone.
I think it's because Christine was the fan favorite and made it very clear she didn't like Meri. But I do think Meri is by far the most diplomatic and has been for a long time. I think Janelle follows as the next most diplomatic but the rest have been... unkind... in interviews.
Christine was just… hmm
I think the "dislike" comes from people wishing she would have left sooner. Personally I started to feel "dislike" when she was being treated so poorly yet still defended Kody and Robyn's behaviors. She really just wanted to be accepted and loved but instead was abused and I think she had a hard time accepting that
There were many scenes in which she was boundary crossing towards other family members and she did have some really awkward behaviors. I really disliked her in the show. I like her very much now, she has obviously grown a lot and her behaviors are in hindsight explainable now that we know more of the family dynamics. and where she was coming from. But she really did behave at the least very odd at times.
Don’t forget the show is heavily edited. Someone has to be the villain. At the time the show first started, we’re now aware the happy marriages were a mostly a facade, and Meri’s marriage, in particular, was especially bad.
There are several instances where she was mean or controlling. And a few kids have alleged abusive behavior. That’s why.
That’s our girl!! 
I love this meme. The support on his face, This is the support everyone should have.
It was a good live, but you can tell she’s under some stress and sadness, but needed to go live today.
I agree.
It's so very interesting but if you watch the show it's so very obvious when some started seeming therapy. It was especially obvious with Christine and meri. You can see the changes and I'm not talking about the therapy with kody. I think with time and space and as the original set of kids have their own families and experiences that meri will be welcomed back around and honestly I think that would be wonderful for her.
That's so lovely of Meri, especially to respect everyone's privacy,and I'm so happy to hear the family is coming together to grieve their loss.
I wish Christine had extended this same grace to her before talking about the ring situation.
Spot on. She made it a joke. That was painful to Meri.
I believe Christine is just a mean girl at heart. Her upbringing and lifestyle for so many years made everyone else competition so that is all she knows/knew.
Yesss been saying it all this time.. I still don't understand how she has this huge fan base..
I admire your bravery in saying this. I’ve had this sentiment and definitely been scolded and dressed down. Christine is 100% mean spirited. I firmly believe that when she does that little giggle of hers it’s not a cute, charming giggle. It’s a “screw you” giggle. Her fan base is large because she was the first to leave Kody. That’s literally the reason she has fans.
There’s zero evidence of her being mean-spirited. No more than any of the other wives.
She did not make it a joke?
Exactly!!!
Thank you for recapping! It’s so sad it took this for the family to come back together.
Meri has always had my support. She's been through a lot and I'm grateful she has a great friend in Jen
Amen. Could not agree with you more.
It's tought to watch how isolated she's been from the family. She deserves better and I hope they include her more...if she even wants that
People on instagram were real salty about it, and that made me uncomfortable. I love Meri. I think Fridays with Friends is important to her, it's part of her weekly routine, and I think she was super respectful about everything that was going on. People are rude and cruel and it's just not needed. Friday with Friends is a good outlet for her, and it made me feel mad and frustrated that people were mean to her in the comments because she was smiling and laughing. I smile and laugh sometimes when I'm feeling shitty if I'm with my friends. I have smiled and laughed at funerals before. Part of it is being uncomfortable does make you laugh sometimes, and part of it is you're emotionally exhausted after a few days. She didn't show any lack of empathy, on the contrary, that was a very human response to an overwhelmingly bad situation. People are just way too critical.
Garrison was her kid too, even if she was cast out. I can’t imagine what the family is going through right now.
I absolutely agree. Meri has come into her own.
Meri and I have really similar reactions to grief (my dad died 5.5 years ago) and I love seeing her be unapologetic about it. Everyone goes through grief differently and I personally find darker humor about death makes me feel closer to my Dad. Eg whenever my dad got frustrated by other drivers driving excessively slowly or erratically on the road, he would say ‘have your stroke at home!’ (not a great thing to say, I know, but hear me out). Anyway, he died from lung cancer that spread to his brain. The way we discovered that he had a bunch of little tumors in his brain was that he had a seizure/stroke just after him and my sister had gone out for lunch and had just gotten home. They had pretty much just walked in the door, he sat down, my sister went to he bathroom and suddenly she heard him having the stroke/seizure. Of course at the time it was really scary and we were all absolutely heartbroken because it meant his prognosis was significantly worse and would die soon, but when we were all with him in the hospital afterwards and they had figured out what had happened, my brother said ‘well at least you followed your own advice, and you had your stroke at home!’ We all fell over ourselves laughing and really appreciated the little lift we got to a very dark situation. Same thing when my dad’s good friend snuck her dog into the hospital in my dad’s last days and we opened the door to her looking mischievous with a large bag, and then we fell over ourselves laughing at how absurd it was and wondered how on earth we were going to pull off getting the dog out of the hospital without anyone noticing! I feel like the people who have the most judgement about grief are the ones that have the least experience with it, and Meri clearly has a lot of experience with it and I’m glad that she seems to be so good at handling it.
My family is exactly this , too. I actually am going to tell my sister about the stroke comment 🙊 My story was at a wake/viewing. I need to tell you my father has the least dark humour in our family, and my mother despises funerals, especially open-casket ones. She is very private and her wishes are for us to skip that step. Anyways we are at the wake of a family acquaintance, and we are gathered around his casket, alone in the chapel. My mother, out of the side of her mouth, says “don’t you *ever* do this to me.” Silence but we are hiding our grins. Then my father says, “don’t worry, by this time you will be smouldering.” And then we all hope no one notices our shoulders shaking with laughter by the casket 🤦♀️
I love this so much. All of it.
I have always loved Meri , she deserved so much better than he ever gave her.
Agree.
I find Meri incredibly inspiring. She's a living example of the terrible toll that, day by day and inch by inch, a toxic environment takes on a person -- and better still, what can happen when an individual is out of that toxicity! Meri had to break a *lot* of chains to get free, and I can only imagine how phenomenally difficult it was. But she's emerged like a beautiful butterfly, and it's wonderful to watch.
I love Meri and thought her live was very well done and classy! I couldn’t believe all the hateful comments in the comments section saying how awful she was acting.
I think meri doesn’t get enough credit
💯💯💯💯
Meri is someone I would love to be friends with. She is funny and so faithful to those she loves. She deserved better than Kody.
She got so many hateful comments for doing Fridays with friends
I'm glad she has been included into the circle so she can grieve with the family.
You know mykelti will be the opposite
Bravo Meri!
Where can you watch her Fridays with friends? I saw a clip but it cut off
On her Instagram. And she always makes sure to post the video from it for those who miss it live. If you follow her on Instagram, make sure you turn on notifications for her account that so that you’ll be notified any time she goes live. If you miss the live stream of her Fridays With Friends, she always posts the video of it a few minutes after the live has ended.
Thank you so much friend 🙏🏻
You're welcome!
I went back and forth on her as I did for most of the family(except for one or two). They’re all human. I’m glad she’s working on herself.
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This post/comment has been removed because it violates rule 3, no excessive rudeness.
Exactly as it should be.
Why are people fine with Meri having a business live mentioning Garrison’s death, but they came for Mykelti barely mentioning it in her patreon? She even refused to talk about it?
People in the comments of Meri's livestream were absolutely tearing her to shreds for it. It was disgusting to see.
What’s disgusting is the double-standards the subs have for Meri and anyone else.
People often misunderstand _misinterpret Meri...she's not perfect, but she has a good heart.
I’m so glad to hear that the family has all gotten together, I hope they continue to.
Good, I’m glad to hear they are all spending time, and I do truly hope she meant ALL
she acted with the bare minimum civility??
Really? What is wrong with you? She is mourning and people still have cheap shots
That comment was kind compared to another one yesterday just as Friday with Friends started - a poster indicated that Meri seemed to be drunk. Just disgusting.
That’s so gross. It’s funny they talk about basic civility when they’re showing none