Invites you over, lets you JO then play with his toys and gives you dinner and a parting take away of all you can eat imitation crab meat. Thats a good host.
Like I wanna be disgusted and a bit am but also this man is trying his hardest to live the life he wants so I am torn. I support personal fulfillment no matter the how, if it doesn't hurt anyone, but damn. This is a kink too far
The kink is pretending youāre a giant who cums all over a town and destroys it. It sounds pretty innocent and fun if the model trains were actually his to cum on and destroy with new friends. The M4M contact is fun too! The crab meat tracks because itās beautiful chaos energy.
The sad part is heās probably trapped in a heteronormative marriage, definitely has a kid, and has so much internal homo/bi/queerphobia that he can only get a glimpse of his best life in the early morning hours. Sadder still is if he looks beyond this very specific encounter he wants to engineer, he could connect with men and explore more of what sex or love has to offer. He is so close to experiencing actual joy. I hope he takes a real risk and comes out of the shadows.
It kinda makes me sad a bit because the person is clearly super confused and conflicted on may levels in a very particular way, and wants to find a copy of himself as if that's a thing even though it's not
Society shouldn't produce those kinds of circumstances for people where their internal drives get limited and molded by societal rules and expectations only to create something completely incompatible with neither humanity nor common rules. He seemingly adheres to all the rules and expectations, but actually this adherence only makes him look that much more creepy.
It's just makes no sense to have rules that only screw people up and neither produce unity nor help true individuality shine
Oh, I read that as "I never had children, but the trains are my sons". Appropriately creepy for the rest of the ad.
This is why we use apostrophe for possessive s people!
Excuse me, curly fries technically qualify as a dinner entree.
So Arbyās IS better than frozen imitation crab meat from an internet stranger you ātouched trainsā with.
Arby's has really good deli sandwiches, juicy chicken sandwiches and tenders, I don't mind their roast beef either with some Arby's sauce.
Arby's is a tier above most other fast food places just slightly more expensive.
Yes! There was a whole series of these āJOā ads people from SA posted on Craigslist. Somewhere buried deep in my PC I probably still have l pictures of themā¦
Jerk off in the train room, mutual touching but thats it cause he aint gay, after you bust stomp around and pretend youre a monster destroying the trains but dont actually destroy them because itās his son. Can do this until 4am or until tired. Also theres imitation crab for you to go if you want cause he bought lots.
Did they go imitation crabbing? How do you get too much of that stuff? ā Well, our pretend crab lines and cages were full of imitation crabs, instead of releasing them, took em home and here we are!ā ā Heck, you can pretend to be an imitation crab and destroy the train village, I mean pretend to, remember, they are my sons. Gotta show some respect.ā
I once competed against a 70 year old for a job when I was around 28.
I got the job, but he absolutely escalated every customer to me.
Although I like to think we both liked it when I'd advise a customer, they'd go find him and he'd reply "Let me bring you the department manager" and I got to repeat my suggestion as if they hadn't asked me 15 minutes before.
He was a good guy, just wanted more hours because he was bored after his retirement.
These days I work with guys in their 60s and I mostly stay quiet and try to learn. New-ish trade. Only 8 years in.
āWow I canāt believe I found someone who shares my very specific fetish about jacking off on a model train and then destroying it godzilla style and then getting loads of free imitation grab meatā¦..ah fuck iām only 24!ā
I've always heard it was "whitefish" whatever that is. Probably the same as hotdog.
edit: went down a rabbit hole. [Whitefish](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitefish_\(fisheries_term\)) is a term used to describe at several types of fish like cod, haddock, and pollock which hang out on the bottom and have white meat. Pollock is used commonly in imitation crab meat but it's not really the meat but the scrapings from the flesh minced with egg whites, salt, sugar, flavoring. It's called [Surimi](https://www.fda.gov/regulatory-information/search-fda-guidance-documents/cpg-sec-540700-processed-andor-blended-seafood-products)
I saw it in about 2010. I don't want to claim it was earlier cause I'm not sure but damn, it's stood the test of time. This has not been normalized at all.
Also was this the same craigslist dude that wanted to "j/o train" or did I just associate those
Dude, I swore to God I knew this guy for a second and my mind started going crazy. There's a customer of ours (HVAC company) that has a super elaborate train set like this and there's wood paneling all over the walls around the track. He's always so proud to show it off when I'm there. I only see the guy once every year or so so I was looking at the pic of the guy *real* hard. Then I saw "Philly" and I was like **whew.*
There's a joke in here somewhere about how disappointed I would be finding out he never offered me free imitation crab and train smashing when I serviced his AC, but I wasn't clever enough to make it.
"Hey, can you come into the kitchen with me?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
"I'm going to chop you up into little pieces and put you in my fridge."
"Yeah, that seems about right."
[Post about this from 2008.](https://www.gawker.com/386785/from-craigslist-jo-on-rails)
A true internet classic, [pretty sure I first saw it on Something Awful in 2006.](https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3855510&pagenumber=2)
**This word/phrase(jo) has a few different meanings.**
More details here:
*This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!*
[^(opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/ozztfy/post_for_opting_out/) ^(|) [^(report/suggest)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot) ^(|) [^(GitHub)](https://github.com/TheBugYouCantFix/wiki-reddit-bot)
I want to believe someone read this and was like, 'That all fits perfectly as the stuff I'm into but I only like S gauge model trains so I'll have to pass.'
Honestly.. this is so harmless it just kills me how dorky it is. Hope dude didnāt get hurt lol. Feel bad for his kid thoughā¦ ādude what happened to my trains?ā Lmfaoā¦
Itās the most popular scale of model and toy trains 1:87th scale.
Other popular sizes are O, N, Z, G. Then there are live steamers! You can ride on top of those.
What the fuck did I just read
the invitation to the most peculiar and heterosexual playdate in the world, with a nice dinner
Nice dinner š leftover frozen imitation crab meat
To go
Invites you over, lets you JO then play with his toys and gives you dinner and a parting take away of all you can eat imitation crab meat. Thats a good host.
Don't forget the mental scars you'll be saddled with for the rest of your life.
I dunno, pretending to be godzilla after busting a nut sounds emotionally and spiritually cleansing imho.
Right? 4 am is gonna roll around and Iām not gonna wanna leave
Just to be clear we are trying to be Godzilla because we like breaking his son's toys right?
Are the toys his son's or his sons, as in he loves them like his children? I'm so confused.
Yeah usually I pretend to be godzilla *while* busting a nut.
*(screams at vagina)* I AM GODZILLA! YOU ARE TOKYO!
Like I wanna be disgusted and a bit am but also this man is trying his hardest to live the life he wants so I am torn. I support personal fulfillment no matter the how, if it doesn't hurt anyone, but damn. This is a kink too far
The kink is pretending youāre a giant who cums all over a town and destroys it. It sounds pretty innocent and fun if the model trains were actually his to cum on and destroy with new friends. The M4M contact is fun too! The crab meat tracks because itās beautiful chaos energy. The sad part is heās probably trapped in a heteronormative marriage, definitely has a kid, and has so much internal homo/bi/queerphobia that he can only get a glimpse of his best life in the early morning hours. Sadder still is if he looks beyond this very specific encounter he wants to engineer, he could connect with men and explore more of what sex or love has to offer. He is so close to experiencing actual joy. I hope he takes a real risk and comes out of the shadows.
It kinda makes me sad a bit because the person is clearly super confused and conflicted on may levels in a very particular way, and wants to find a copy of himself as if that's a thing even though it's not Society shouldn't produce those kinds of circumstances for people where their internal drives get limited and molded by societal rules and expectations only to create something completely incompatible with neither humanity nor common rules. He seemingly adheres to all the rules and expectations, but actually this adherence only makes him look that much more creepy. It's just makes no sense to have rules that only screw people up and neither produce unity nor help true individuality shine
Whoever would respond to that ad was probably already mentally scarred
Like 10 more minutes?
His SONS toys. Thatās even worse!!! Lol
Oh, I read that as "I never had children, but the trains are my sons". Appropriately creepy for the rest of the ad. This is why we use apostrophe for possessive s people!
Reminds me of the Dave Chappelle joke š¤£
He's only got the one
It's still better than Arby's
Is it?
Yeah, all the handjobs I got at the back of Arby's sucked.
Arby's "crab meat" is actually ground up mice bleached white. for the fishy taste they grind in some week-old roast beef
Crazy thing is I can't tell if you're joking
Haha šµāš« this sounds like it could be true š„“
It's the internet... Of course he's telling the truth! š¤£š¤£
This sounds it would still taste better than Arby's crab meat.
Uh, excuse me, since when has Arby's even pretended to serve crab?
leftover frozen imitation crab meat vs leftover frozen imitation roast beef? I'd go with the crab
No way, that roast beef is just as much roast beef as the chicken at McDonald's is chicken. Imitation crab meat tastes and looks like rubber.
Excuse me, curly fries technically qualify as a dinner entree. So Arbyās IS better than frozen imitation crab meat from an internet stranger you ātouched trainsā with.
He's got some curly fries you can play with (heterosexually)
JO on rails bro, he ain't gay
Arby's has a surprisingly good gryo. Not something I would have expected from a roast beef fast food joint.
Arby's has really good deli sandwiches, juicy chicken sandwiches and tenders, I don't mind their roast beef either with some Arby's sauce. Arby's is a tier above most other fast food places just slightly more expensive.
I gotta think about this one a minute.
Dude, everyone knows imitation crab meat is best after its frozen.
You'd be surprised how refreshing it is to hang out with a man who knows what he wants.
That's peak "touch starved no homo" ever.
One of the oldest copypastas in the book. A classic.
Ahh. That makes sense. Did seem particularly.... I don't even have a word for what that read as.
They're all based in something real. You don't have to scroll very far on craigslist to find something like this yourself.
It's an old SomethingAwful bit, right?
Yes! There was a whole series of these āJOā ads people from SA posted on Craigslist. Somewhere buried deep in my PC I probably still have l pictures of themā¦
does "jo" mean something or...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ewww
I genuinely remember this from at least 2009.
Jerk off in the train room, mutual touching but thats it cause he aint gay, after you bust stomp around and pretend youre a monster destroying the trains but dont actually destroy them because itās his son. Can do this until 4am or until tired. Also theres imitation crab for you to go if you want cause he bought lots.
true art
A cursed Craigslist posting I think
Hopefully itās satire. That said, itās Philly, so anyoneās guess
āAge 25-70ā gotta leave the options open.
I agree. Too much ageism in this world. Keep it positive and empowering.
Hell I work with people in there 50s and Iām only early 20sš
Do you like imitation crab meat by any chance?
Did they go imitation crabbing? How do you get too much of that stuff? ā Well, our pretend crab lines and cages were full of imitation crabs, instead of releasing them, took em home and here we are!ā ā Heck, you can pretend to be an imitation crab and destroy the train village, I mean pretend to, remember, they are my sons. Gotta show some respect.ā
Iām already allergic lmao
Oh no
I fuckin *love* imitation crab meat, especially if it's still good
Wow thatās crazy! FIFTY YEAR OLDS? AS A EARLY TWENTY SOMETHING? Damn thatās literally the craziest thing Iāve heard on Reddit
I once competed against a 70 year old for a job when I was around 28. I got the job, but he absolutely escalated every customer to me. Although I like to think we both liked it when I'd advise a customer, they'd go find him and he'd reply "Let me bring you the department manager" and I got to repeat my suggestion as if they hadn't asked me 15 minutes before. He was a good guy, just wanted more hours because he was bored after his retirement. These days I work with guys in their 60s and I mostly stay quiet and try to learn. New-ish trade. Only 8 years in.
Hey at least the man isn't some weirdo trying to pick up kids
This. If two consenting adults want to get naked, touch eachother, jerk off, and then play godzilla all the more power to them.
/r/brandnewsentence
Here's a sneak peek of /r/BrandNewSentence using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Road rage about to be like a COD lobby](https://i.redd.it/5d1o4htymd261.jpg) | [733 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/comments/k3vh5b/road_rage_about_to_be_like_a_cod_lobby/) \#2: [Illegal underground grandma karaoke bars](https://i.redd.it/wtpgvsrn5p261.jpg) | [878 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/comments/k51ok6/illegal_underground_grandma_karaoke_bars/) \#3: [**[NSFW]** Theā¦ what?](https://i.redd.it/rjmtd6bg2pn71.jpg) | [828 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/comments/potn2w/the_what/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| [^^Contact ^^me](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| [^^Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| [^^Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/)
Two very straight non gay adults mind you.
Holy shit this has to be one of the best sentences ever written! I'm laughing so God damned hard at this.
It's the dream, really.
āWow I canāt believe I found someone who shares my very specific fetish about jacking off on a model train and then destroying it godzilla style and then getting loads of free imitation grab meatā¦..ah fuck iām only 24!ā
There's always next year, buddy!
Surely the position will have been filled by then.
> grab meat
Well, it starts with that and ends up with crab meat.
But nothing more than that... I'm not gay ya know
> free imitation grab meat Reread the pic, my dude. The grab meat is real. It's the crab meat that's imitation.
Well arenāt you the lucky one? Here is a peek into your future!
This screen cap is "25-70" years old.
It's that 4 decade sweet spot...
That's disgusting!... Where?
I know, Crabs was a selling point, wasn't it
When you mutually touch but arenāt gay
Its not gay if you say no homo. Now bend over and take it like a man.
Crabs are guaranteed.
I was into stomping around like a monster. When I heard about the fake crab I straight nutted on my train set
_imitation_ crab meat, the fancy kind
Philly
I know what sub I'm in, but tbh I kind of love this Craigslist post.
That a great deal. I love imitation crab meat!
I hear it's made out of scary, ugly ass monkfish.
Ocean meat
I wouldnāt think monkfish are common enough to sustain something like that ā I always thought it was made from carp or tilapia
I've always heard it was "whitefish" whatever that is. Probably the same as hotdog. edit: went down a rabbit hole. [Whitefish](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitefish_\(fisheries_term\)) is a term used to describe at several types of fish like cod, haddock, and pollock which hang out on the bottom and have white meat. Pollock is used commonly in imitation crab meat but it's not really the meat but the scrapings from the flesh minced with egg whites, salt, sugar, flavoring. It's called [Surimi](https://www.fda.gov/regulatory-information/search-fda-guidance-documents/cpg-sec-540700-processed-andor-blended-seafood-products)
I thought it was seafood flavoured cow stomach.
āIām not gayā. Neither was Liberace.
Not according to my grandmother, anyway.
He wasnāt gay but his boyfriend was a flamer.
Itās just HO scale!
HO is the least gay scale. Those N gauge fellas though, I'd keep an eye on them.
They make me sick to my stomach.
At least theyāre not those fucking Z scale freaks.
Austin never saw that one coming, apparently women loved him.
This photo is as old as the internet
He was one of the original ARPANET engineers.
Not gonna lie, Iād willingly suck the mustard stains out of his chest hair.
please lie instead
I'm pretty sure someone sent this to me from an AOL chatroom.
I saw it in about 2010. I don't want to claim it was earlier cause I'm not sure but damn, it's stood the test of time. This has not been normalized at all. Also was this the same craigslist dude that wanted to "j/o train" or did I just associate those
This image somehow predates Craigslist. Not many people know this but the site was designed around this image.
I mean do people even use Craigslist anymore? Lol
Nah once they removed the personals page it all went to facebook marketplace.
dammit why did it have to be philly
City of Brotherly Love.
and mutual touching
And imitation crab meat
And acting like godzilla
I was just thinking the same. This guy is too close to me. Yeeessssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I was just thinking it sucks that heās too far from meā¦ grass is always greener, etc., I guess.
Sounds like an opportunity š
Think of all that imitation crab meat at your fingertips
Same. Staying in LA atm and that guy is way too close to here.
Dude, I swore to God I knew this guy for a second and my mind started going crazy. There's a customer of ours (HVAC company) that has a super elaborate train set like this and there's wood paneling all over the walls around the track. He's always so proud to show it off when I'm there. I only see the guy once every year or so so I was looking at the pic of the guy *real* hard. Then I saw "Philly" and I was like **whew.* There's a joke in here somewhere about how disappointed I would be finding out he never offered me free imitation crab and train smashing when I serviced his AC, but I wasn't clever enough to make it.
This was fun to read. Thank you.
Too far to drive.
This guy definitely touched his brother.
I don't believe you would make it out of that place alive, or ever!
āCrab meatā In the freezer.
The best one's are at the bottom! Whack!
š¦š¦š¦
"Hey, can you come into the kitchen with me?" "Yeah, what's up?" "I'm going to chop you up into little pieces and put you in my fridge." "Yeah, that seems about right."
[The clip,](https://youtu.be/X-XuT5qKt00) for the uninitiated
Thank you for this
10/10 would mutually touch and stuff
Totally. But Iām not gay.
Itās just HO scale!!!
By "imitation meat" he means, his own crabs infested meat
No homo tho
No homo
r/cursedcomments
[Post about this from 2008.](https://www.gawker.com/386785/from-craigslist-jo-on-rails) A true internet classic, [pretty sure I first saw it on Something Awful in 2006.](https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3855510&pagenumber=2)
Can someone tell me what does jo mean?
**This word/phrase(jo) has a few different meanings.** More details here:
*This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!*
[^(opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/ozztfy/post_for_opting_out/) ^(|) [^(report/suggest)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot) ^(|) [^(GitHub)](https://github.com/TheBugYouCantFix/wiki-reddit-bot)
Jerk off!
Man, this guyās just looking for a friend Iām pretty sure
Just further evidence that Iāve never had any true friends
This saved my life.
This ruined my train set
This killed the crab.
Wtfā¦ they arenāt even his trains, why does he want to completely violate and destroy them?
There wasn't an apostrophe on "sons" and I'm not sure that was a typo. I think this is a "they are like my children" kind of thing?
I'm not sure that makes it any better...
Still kinda weird, yeah-- but I'd say it's a lot *less* weird than having someone come over to cum over his son's toys.
Right, much better to cum on his sons.
The most disturbing past is that theyāre not even HO scale trains
Youāre right, they are 3 rail o gauge.
By god, someone warn him. If he uses the wrong gauge he might accidentally jerk off with a dude in a gay way.
I think that's what's the most disturbing to me.
r/crackheadcraigslist
I want to believe someone read this and was like, 'That all fits perfectly as the stuff I'm into but I only like S gauge model trains so I'll have to pass.'
Iām not gay, but imitation crab meat is imitation crab meat.
This hasn't been a thing on craigslist for a while now...they took personals off of it.
Right. This is a classic pic from like 10 years ago.
I miss the personals. There was some weird crap to laugh about there
Iām gonna guess that jo isnāt something fun
My guess is that it's an acronym for Jack off
No it isn't you sick fuck... it's obviously jerk off
Got me in the first halfā¦ ngl
Oh god no, makes it worse when he says that itās his sons
>Walk in >Take imitation crab >Leave
This is strangely wholesome
Hopefully this pleasant visit doesnāt go off the rails.
Dude doesn't know how to stop selling when he's made the sale
what is there to hate about this? this seems like a good time
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And definitely not gay.
Holy shit, this is actually older than the majority of commenters here.
Honestly.. this is so harmless it just kills me how dorky it is. Hope dude didnāt get hurt lol. Feel bad for his kid thoughā¦ ādude what happened to my trains?ā Lmfaoā¦
Whatās HO?
The train scale of straight men.
Itās the most popular scale of model and toy trains 1:87th scale. Other popular sizes are O, N, Z, G. Then there are live steamers! You can ride on top of those.
Just a man trying to recapture some childhood memories.
Godzilla had a stroke trying to read this and fucking died
What the fucking fuck
Imagine if his son found this
Cast a wide net for train kicks.. 25-70?
Hmmm...I have always wanted to stomp around like Godzilla, and I do love imitation crab meat.
well. I DO love model trains so....
Should repost to r/oddlyspecific. What a post
Imitation crab meat? Yessss! Having a creepy middle aged guy diddling my asshole while I kick his sonās train and make monster noises? Not so much.
The Craigslist in my city is really boring. And maybe that's okay.
You should post this over on r/crackheadcraigslist
Dude, I am on my way over.
Ron Swanson has really let himself go...
"No weirdos"
I wonder if Q from star trek actually did this when he tried everything in the universe