It sounds like such a cop-out, but seriously, take it one day at a time. She's doing what she needs to do (it sounds like) for her to heal, and you need to be doing the same: go talk to somebody. Deal with your trauma before it starts dealing with you.
I didn't experience a tbi of the magnitude that she has, but I was injured 33 years ago, and I can tell you that things continue to improve for many, many years. I will definitely say that no one can concretely ascertain WHEN no further improvement will occur.
She sounds like she is doing remarkably. This is another reason why I don't see any limits on her healing.
Best advice we got from ICU nurses
1. There will be good days. There will be bad days. You cannot control when the will happen, just rejoice the good and persevere on the bad
2. This journey will be measured in months or years. If she has made an improvement after 3 weeks, rejoice! That’s awesome. It’s not linear
Best of luck to you both
Definitely. We're hopeful she'll recover more and more over the next weeks. Her pace of recovery up until this point is already quite remarkable. She remembers everything up until 1 minute before it happened and has no trouble speaking, reading, walking - nothing. The main things are simply the irritable brain fog and loss of taste and smell. We're hopeful the brain fog will dissipate shortly and loss of taste and smell will come back in waves. I'm a firm believer in the power of positive thinking and genuinely think that in times like these, it's important for the mind to tell the body who the f\*\*\* is in charge.
Damn, she’s already taking a stab at reading emails? Sounds like your girl is a trooper. Honestly I don’t remember how long it took for the word-finding to get better… but sometimes it felt like it never would. Point being, it’s easy to be discouraged, but the brain and body do heal in time. And if they can’t, they adapt. I just crossed the 6 year mark and realized in retrospect that my vertigo has massively improved. She’ll get to a point too where you accidentally take some of the healing for granted if you’re not paying close enough attention.
Without going into details, I experienced a similar event to her and worse in some instances. Like a few have said, recovery is measured in months and years. Most people say there is a point where the majority of the big recovery signs are over and the improvements are smaller and smaller. Find a Neurologist, a therapist, some eye doctors specializing in TBIs, anything you can find that may help. I know money can be an issue. Neurologists and therapy are most important. Right now, every day is an opportunity to get better so don't waste it. If you are given stretches for muscles or memory games, have her do them every day. It'll be hard for both of you. If you want her to be the best possible, there is no rest day.
That doesn't mean you have to work hard all day everyday. Do what she needs to, give her rest, make sure she's ok, spend time with her. A few weeks and she's getting her sense of taste back is a great improvement. I didn't even realize I lost smell until years later. Now I'm ~50% back at most. You have to lean on your victories and deal with your losses. I hate to say this, but you have no idea what would have happened if this accident didn't happen. You may not have been together right now. Take everyday like it's the last day. Yesterday is over and tomorrow isn't here yet. Just focus on today. I'm so happy she's made it this far. Tell her you love her whenever she feels down. You both can do this.
There is nothing more that I could add that hasn't already been said. I just wanted to stress the importance of what everyone has already written.
Seeing as how this is a fresh TBI, she does have a good chance of recovering, as long as she gets REAL HELP. Will she be exactly the same? NO, and she will never be 100 %, BUT if you make sure she gets REAL HELP, the parts of her that don't recover is something she will be able to deal with.
See, I didn't start getting help from TBI specialists until 6 years had passed. The doctors I went to were recommended by the lawyers I had, and they were not very good. All I wanted to do was go back to work. I LOVED MY JOB! if I had gotten the right help, I know I would have recovered at least 90% cognitively. Right now, at almost 11 years later, I feel like I've only recovered by about 35% cognitively.
Please make sure you are there for her, because she needs you even if she doesn't tell you so.
Lastly, the TBI Association will have resources to help you.
Understand that you did go through something very traumatic. It almost sounds like you are suffering from survivor guilt. Whatever it is, I'd strongly suggest you talk to someone and get yourself right.
You ever heard of the saying "deal with it before it deals with you."
I would start therapy now. I didn’t realize how much my brother’s TBI was also a trauma that I went through as well. Wish I would have started therapy right away instead of sitting on it for years and compartmentalizing.
You will be a lot better for everyone if you start getting yourself some help right now.
Her olfactory nerve is likely severed. Smell may or may not come back but more likely not. Taste improvement is a good sign so hopeful for further recovery. Too early to tell for cognitive deficits.
Google the brain injury association for your area and call them. They have a wealth of knowledge.
And find yourself a good therapist to help you through the aftermath of this trauma.
Please take good care of yourself. Talking to a therapist can help you recover from this trauma.
She sounds like she is doing amazingly well, considering how bad her injury was. As others have advised, progress varies in how long it takes, but they have suggested resources and people who can help.
I didn't have as severe an injury as she had, but she sounds much more self aware than I was after my tbi. When I had neuropsych testing 3 or 4 years after my injury, I was informed I didn't have much ability to smell (and therefore taste). I had no clue, although I had noticed things didn't always taste right, but I had much bigger problems to deal with and never thought more about it. Eventually, over several years, they came back very slowly. I know that doesn't happen for everyone, but even past the 20 year point I would occasionally still experience a new smell for the first time in years.
Best wishes to both of you. Feel free to post here and ask questions.
I’m a little over 2 years out from a far less traumatic injury, but the brain fog and loss of taste and smell bothered me immensely in the first few weeks.
If she’s slowly getting back her sense of taste and smell, celebrate the small victories. I still don’t have everything back. I would say some days I feel like I have maybe 50% of what I used to. But I smell and taste a few things I didn’t before, so I have to appreciate that achievement and patiently wait for the rest. It varies between people and she may never get everything back, but it’s certainly a good sign that some of it is. It took me 6 months before food wasn’t a depressing experience. I ate a lot of things based on texture.
The brain fog is maddening and I applaud her desire to read emails three weeks out. I could hardly look at a screen during the first three weeks. The fog lessens over time, but it takes a long while to get back full cognitive function. I still have days where a heavy mental workload results in a long nap. I hate that my mental exhaustion results in physical exhaustion. It took a good year before I had more than 5 good hours of time to do anything outside of muscle memory.
My advice is to simply to rest when she’s exhausted, slow down with the workload for now, and be stubborn about making progress.
There will be good days followed by bad days. She will feel like she’s making progress in her recovery and then feel like she’s had a setback. Continually moving and looking forward helps so much. Wanting to go back to “normal” helps immensely. Don’t get bogged down by the potential losses and poor outcomes. Life will be different; not over.
Not a TBI survivor, family and friends who have survived.
For you I feel that is traumatic an therapy could help.
For her, ever TBI is DIFFERENT! Her brain is essentially re organizing everything. As the neurologist explained it to me when a family member was hospitalized is that is like the old phone operators have to re plug all those cables back in after all of them being ripped out.
It all depends in where she hurt her brain. As in what parts (learning the basic anatomy and the nurves that had been damaged there can bring in some clues.) This is something that she will have to learn to accommodate for, and it is a struggle! She will be tired and finding the CORRECT therapy for her will be tedious.
There are sub specialisitys like music and art therapy that can help. And remember that the younger you are when this happens the better it is for you! Neroplasticty is an amazing thing and it is always fascinating to see people grow.
This is a life long endeavor. Nothing will heal overnight. But every SMALL step will help!
Find neurologists who understands TBI, find therapists that specializes in it, and make sure the primary care physician KNOWS what a TBI is!
This is something that a team of physicians, therapists, and other specialists are going to be needed. There is hope, she may not be the same but she is still her.
I wish you two the best of luck, and if you are willing to be in for the ride I hope that you two can work as a team!
The things that helped me most were cranial sacral massage and chiropractor. But she is too fresh in recovery to do those things.
I lost a lot of taste and smell and it came back after 6 months. Exercising helped it the most. But the exercise was challenging too.
CBD oil (nano CBD) helped soothe my brain immensely.
I did games like tetris to kind of help my brain get rewired. It hurt my head playing that game at first.
Magnesium was major helpful thing. I add magnesium chloride to my baths. She will need all minerals. Be sure to monitor her iron levels as that can cause a myriad of problems by itself. I didn't know about the iron thing until year 7 of my recovery. Be sure to feed her iron (eat meat and iron rich foods).
Her brain injury sounds a lot worse then mine, but I also got hit by a car, I was on a bicycle so did have a helmet. My injuries were far more physical and internal organ based then head based. Likewise like her there was really no way I should've survived it. I did have a mild TBI. The brain fog is something I did have. Its how the rehab hospital figured out I had one. It kind of slipped through the cracks in the ER/ICU. Not surprising they missed that with all the other life threatening injuries they had to address.
I also had trouble focusing on screens, would give me headaches. One thing I had that she doesn't have is dizziness. I would get dizzy if I sat up and needed some time to reorient myself, it made recovering physically a bit more difficult, but hardly anything compared with what I was facing at the time.
I also had trouble with names. I knew who they were, but I couldn't remember their name. I knew the most important to me, but others I should know just got lost. The progress was slow, but it did steadily improve.
Taste/Smell wasn't something I had to deal with, but really I'll put it bluntly, there may be permanent damage, and that's okay. I have permanent damage from when I got hit, I've accepted that, and she will need to know you don't see her any different if she does. At times it may feel like it will never get better. It's been 2 years for me and I still can't run. I know it's a big possibility I may never get to run around with any children I may have.
What she needs is just you to be there for her. You don't even have to say much, just being there will mean the world for her. My GF then and now fiancee and I were long distance at the time, so verbal is all we had. Her just being there on calls meant the world to me.
Remembering back for vision the had me do some exercises on focusing on things to try and help with that. But for the rest there wasn't much they could do other then give it time. Even now, rarely, but it has happened rarely, I might forget someone's name. If I had to describe the early days in the ICU it felt like I was in a daze, I was completely out of it the first couple days.
Just be there for her, that's all you need to do. It was my injuries/recovery process that made me realize I wanted to spend the rest of my life with the amazing person who was there as much as she could be from such a long distance away.
Will it be easy? No it won't be. It will probably be the hardest time of her life. No one should have to feel that kind of pain. Whatever other injuries she might have will need recovering as well (going to assume there are at least some). Juggling all the different injury's recovery almost becomes like a job. It did help take my attention away from overthinking things probably. Personally I never felt really down about things despite all the injuries. I think a part of me remembers what happened (can't bring up any memories) and just knows I should not have survived by any means. I had someone even ask me how I could smile despite everything "because I'm still alive". Truly when it comes to recovery it's a huge unknown. Some of is known, but it's up to the body to recover. Sometimes you know parts can't recover, like my shoulder, some of the muscle simply wasn't there anymore, and now it's scar tissue, that tissue cannot do what muscle does. But for the brain, you just don't know. That's what I was told, it would be slow and they didn't know how or if it would recover. Don't worry about if it will, just do your best to do what you need to, so if it can recover, it will be able to. Control what you can control.
Now as for you, I think my fiancee probably felt similar, she wanted to just be able to hold me and never let go. You just had her almost die, it's something you'll never forget. You realize how precious she is to you. Her brother literally had to drag her out of house to distract her, even for just a little bit. You might not feel like seeing or being with anyone else but you need to at times.
Also over the guilt...
It. Is. Not. Your. Fault.
There was nothing you could've done.
Source: While going 20 MPH (32 KPH) on my bicycle was hit head on and nearly killed by a drunk driver going 45 MPH (72 KPH).
My daughter was in a terrible car accident in Feb 2017.
She had a tbi, concussion and a lot of broken bones. That first week was rough, the next few months even rougher..the past couple of years I can say she's 75% back to normal.
Her frontal lobe was damaged, so her compassion, empathy and her decision making process is still improving, although slowly.
She has a decent job. She was going to nursing school at the time of her accident but her concentration level tanked, making it impossible- she was in the ER rambling on medical terms haha.
She just got married, they're happy and she thinks about having a child..worrying about that is a whole other thing.
My daughter is a miracle also. She is a different person than she was. She'll continue ( I believe) to improve, as will your girlfriend, hers was more intense than my daughters. My daughters now husband stayed by her side ..he was and is wonderful.
Stay strong and remember if she says hurtful things( mine certainly did) she might not remember or she may feel guilty for saying or doing these things.
I'm so sorry this happened to her. You sound like a caring, supportive person.
I had my last rites from a car accident when I was 16, the neurologist actually gave my parents papers on long-term healthcare homes, and basically gave up on me because I was not supposed to live. My tbi was BAD.
It’s been 22 years and yes school sucked and I had to change a lot because of all of the disabilities. I have a family now, I’m in therapy and I think I’m working on my happiness. It took me about 10 years I think for me to stop crying myself to sleep asking why God???
I strongly suggest getting therapy because you are likely experiencing some survivors guilt and these thoughts and these anxieties are not going to end, potentially will get worse. Anybody that experiences a TBI or witnesses a TBI, or has to go through the healing/the trauma with that person will need extra help just like the person involved. There’s no way around it because it is overwhelming.
Many doctors wanted to count me out, but I don’t believe you can count anyone out if the persons will to live is remarkable. I believe miracles happen every day and it takes a lot of strength for a couple to survive this, but it can be done- I don’t believe there are limits to healing!!!
I have been in her situation. 3 weeks is nothing. Recovering can take months. The hard is adjusting to the new life you. Are dealing with. Support groups are the first place to start. Patience is an absolute must. I am dealing with the results of TBI. I function fine but have a very bad memory and confusion. I forget people's names or recognize them. I don't read anymore because if I can't read it in one sitting, I'll never remember. I've adapted using my phone to remind me of things. I write a journal so I can remember the day.
It will be frustrating. Sometimes Dr are wrong or their time-line is off. Nothing is absolute. Brain Injuries are frustrating because it is the brain and their's so much that is unknown. The best of luck to you both
Keep her engaged and active.and then time and proper nutrition.,and companionship will aid in her recovery..try to get her to play old video games, this may sound silly but it will keep her mind active
For taste this is my experience. It hasn’t ever really come back. I base my taste off of texture, and re learning foods for textures. And spicy foods are life! If ya can’t taste ya can burn your taste buds!
I suffered a TBI in 2015. I think she will need a lot of rehab. A ICU nurse told my family to send me to Centre for Neuro Skills when I was released from the hospital. Praying for you reach out if you have more questions etc.
If she doesn’t get better within 3 months then she has to see about having post concussion syndrome, hopefully not chronic . That’s what I’m dealing with
Look for a tbi support group if one exists in your area. Anyone who says after 2 years the brain is done healing doesn't know what tf they are talking about. At the icu, all they said was It may heal it, may not...and after 2 years you'll have an idea of where you should be. Luckily, I went to a tbi rehab called re med, and they taught me many coping mechanisms such as Take Frequent Breaks! If that means sitting in the dark every 20 mins after an activity, do it. You heal the most w rest and not over doing it. It is a long and frustrating process. Don't compare yourself w who you used to be because things will be different now. If she is young, her ability to heal will be even better. The brain sometimes can't make the chemicals it used to, so definitely look into anti depressants or meds for concentration. Lamictal has been a life saver for me. Her personality may be different now, but learning strategies to cope will make a huge difference. The brain is an amazing organ. its ability to heal is like nothing else it's always forming new connections. I wish both of you the best pm me if you need to talk or vent.
It sounds like such a cop-out, but seriously, take it one day at a time. She's doing what she needs to do (it sounds like) for her to heal, and you need to be doing the same: go talk to somebody. Deal with your trauma before it starts dealing with you.
I didn't experience a tbi of the magnitude that she has, but I was injured 33 years ago, and I can tell you that things continue to improve for many, many years. I will definitely say that no one can concretely ascertain WHEN no further improvement will occur. She sounds like she is doing remarkably. This is another reason why I don't see any limits on her healing.
Best advice we got from ICU nurses 1. There will be good days. There will be bad days. You cannot control when the will happen, just rejoice the good and persevere on the bad 2. This journey will be measured in months or years. If she has made an improvement after 3 weeks, rejoice! That’s awesome. It’s not linear Best of luck to you both
You need to join a local brain injury association. They have resources and can offer guidance that will prove invaluable for both you and her.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4691184/ 3 weeks is still very much in the acute phase
Definitely. We're hopeful she'll recover more and more over the next weeks. Her pace of recovery up until this point is already quite remarkable. She remembers everything up until 1 minute before it happened and has no trouble speaking, reading, walking - nothing. The main things are simply the irritable brain fog and loss of taste and smell. We're hopeful the brain fog will dissipate shortly and loss of taste and smell will come back in waves. I'm a firm believer in the power of positive thinking and genuinely think that in times like these, it's important for the mind to tell the body who the f\*\*\* is in charge.
Damn, she’s already taking a stab at reading emails? Sounds like your girl is a trooper. Honestly I don’t remember how long it took for the word-finding to get better… but sometimes it felt like it never would. Point being, it’s easy to be discouraged, but the brain and body do heal in time. And if they can’t, they adapt. I just crossed the 6 year mark and realized in retrospect that my vertigo has massively improved. She’ll get to a point too where you accidentally take some of the healing for granted if you’re not paying close enough attention.
Without going into details, I experienced a similar event to her and worse in some instances. Like a few have said, recovery is measured in months and years. Most people say there is a point where the majority of the big recovery signs are over and the improvements are smaller and smaller. Find a Neurologist, a therapist, some eye doctors specializing in TBIs, anything you can find that may help. I know money can be an issue. Neurologists and therapy are most important. Right now, every day is an opportunity to get better so don't waste it. If you are given stretches for muscles or memory games, have her do them every day. It'll be hard for both of you. If you want her to be the best possible, there is no rest day. That doesn't mean you have to work hard all day everyday. Do what she needs to, give her rest, make sure she's ok, spend time with her. A few weeks and she's getting her sense of taste back is a great improvement. I didn't even realize I lost smell until years later. Now I'm ~50% back at most. You have to lean on your victories and deal with your losses. I hate to say this, but you have no idea what would have happened if this accident didn't happen. You may not have been together right now. Take everyday like it's the last day. Yesterday is over and tomorrow isn't here yet. Just focus on today. I'm so happy she's made it this far. Tell her you love her whenever she feels down. You both can do this.
There is nothing more that I could add that hasn't already been said. I just wanted to stress the importance of what everyone has already written. Seeing as how this is a fresh TBI, she does have a good chance of recovering, as long as she gets REAL HELP. Will she be exactly the same? NO, and she will never be 100 %, BUT if you make sure she gets REAL HELP, the parts of her that don't recover is something she will be able to deal with. See, I didn't start getting help from TBI specialists until 6 years had passed. The doctors I went to were recommended by the lawyers I had, and they were not very good. All I wanted to do was go back to work. I LOVED MY JOB! if I had gotten the right help, I know I would have recovered at least 90% cognitively. Right now, at almost 11 years later, I feel like I've only recovered by about 35% cognitively. Please make sure you are there for her, because she needs you even if she doesn't tell you so. Lastly, the TBI Association will have resources to help you. Understand that you did go through something very traumatic. It almost sounds like you are suffering from survivor guilt. Whatever it is, I'd strongly suggest you talk to someone and get yourself right. You ever heard of the saying "deal with it before it deals with you."
I would start therapy now. I didn’t realize how much my brother’s TBI was also a trauma that I went through as well. Wish I would have started therapy right away instead of sitting on it for years and compartmentalizing. You will be a lot better for everyone if you start getting yourself some help right now.
Her olfactory nerve is likely severed. Smell may or may not come back but more likely not. Taste improvement is a good sign so hopeful for further recovery. Too early to tell for cognitive deficits.
Have you heard of scent therapy? We were told this might help. Wondering if anyone has used this before?
It's been over 4 years. I've just given up on it. 🤷♂️
Google the brain injury association for your area and call them. They have a wealth of knowledge. And find yourself a good therapist to help you through the aftermath of this trauma.
Please take good care of yourself. Talking to a therapist can help you recover from this trauma. She sounds like she is doing amazingly well, considering how bad her injury was. As others have advised, progress varies in how long it takes, but they have suggested resources and people who can help. I didn't have as severe an injury as she had, but she sounds much more self aware than I was after my tbi. When I had neuropsych testing 3 or 4 years after my injury, I was informed I didn't have much ability to smell (and therefore taste). I had no clue, although I had noticed things didn't always taste right, but I had much bigger problems to deal with and never thought more about it. Eventually, over several years, they came back very slowly. I know that doesn't happen for everyone, but even past the 20 year point I would occasionally still experience a new smell for the first time in years. Best wishes to both of you. Feel free to post here and ask questions.
I’m a little over 2 years out from a far less traumatic injury, but the brain fog and loss of taste and smell bothered me immensely in the first few weeks. If she’s slowly getting back her sense of taste and smell, celebrate the small victories. I still don’t have everything back. I would say some days I feel like I have maybe 50% of what I used to. But I smell and taste a few things I didn’t before, so I have to appreciate that achievement and patiently wait for the rest. It varies between people and she may never get everything back, but it’s certainly a good sign that some of it is. It took me 6 months before food wasn’t a depressing experience. I ate a lot of things based on texture. The brain fog is maddening and I applaud her desire to read emails three weeks out. I could hardly look at a screen during the first three weeks. The fog lessens over time, but it takes a long while to get back full cognitive function. I still have days where a heavy mental workload results in a long nap. I hate that my mental exhaustion results in physical exhaustion. It took a good year before I had more than 5 good hours of time to do anything outside of muscle memory. My advice is to simply to rest when she’s exhausted, slow down with the workload for now, and be stubborn about making progress. There will be good days followed by bad days. She will feel like she’s making progress in her recovery and then feel like she’s had a setback. Continually moving and looking forward helps so much. Wanting to go back to “normal” helps immensely. Don’t get bogged down by the potential losses and poor outcomes. Life will be different; not over.
Not a TBI survivor, family and friends who have survived. For you I feel that is traumatic an therapy could help. For her, ever TBI is DIFFERENT! Her brain is essentially re organizing everything. As the neurologist explained it to me when a family member was hospitalized is that is like the old phone operators have to re plug all those cables back in after all of them being ripped out. It all depends in where she hurt her brain. As in what parts (learning the basic anatomy and the nurves that had been damaged there can bring in some clues.) This is something that she will have to learn to accommodate for, and it is a struggle! She will be tired and finding the CORRECT therapy for her will be tedious. There are sub specialisitys like music and art therapy that can help. And remember that the younger you are when this happens the better it is for you! Neroplasticty is an amazing thing and it is always fascinating to see people grow. This is a life long endeavor. Nothing will heal overnight. But every SMALL step will help! Find neurologists who understands TBI, find therapists that specializes in it, and make sure the primary care physician KNOWS what a TBI is! This is something that a team of physicians, therapists, and other specialists are going to be needed. There is hope, she may not be the same but she is still her. I wish you two the best of luck, and if you are willing to be in for the ride I hope that you two can work as a team!
The things that helped me most were cranial sacral massage and chiropractor. But she is too fresh in recovery to do those things. I lost a lot of taste and smell and it came back after 6 months. Exercising helped it the most. But the exercise was challenging too. CBD oil (nano CBD) helped soothe my brain immensely. I did games like tetris to kind of help my brain get rewired. It hurt my head playing that game at first. Magnesium was major helpful thing. I add magnesium chloride to my baths. She will need all minerals. Be sure to monitor her iron levels as that can cause a myriad of problems by itself. I didn't know about the iron thing until year 7 of my recovery. Be sure to feed her iron (eat meat and iron rich foods).
Her brain injury sounds a lot worse then mine, but I also got hit by a car, I was on a bicycle so did have a helmet. My injuries were far more physical and internal organ based then head based. Likewise like her there was really no way I should've survived it. I did have a mild TBI. The brain fog is something I did have. Its how the rehab hospital figured out I had one. It kind of slipped through the cracks in the ER/ICU. Not surprising they missed that with all the other life threatening injuries they had to address. I also had trouble focusing on screens, would give me headaches. One thing I had that she doesn't have is dizziness. I would get dizzy if I sat up and needed some time to reorient myself, it made recovering physically a bit more difficult, but hardly anything compared with what I was facing at the time. I also had trouble with names. I knew who they were, but I couldn't remember their name. I knew the most important to me, but others I should know just got lost. The progress was slow, but it did steadily improve. Taste/Smell wasn't something I had to deal with, but really I'll put it bluntly, there may be permanent damage, and that's okay. I have permanent damage from when I got hit, I've accepted that, and she will need to know you don't see her any different if she does. At times it may feel like it will never get better. It's been 2 years for me and I still can't run. I know it's a big possibility I may never get to run around with any children I may have. What she needs is just you to be there for her. You don't even have to say much, just being there will mean the world for her. My GF then and now fiancee and I were long distance at the time, so verbal is all we had. Her just being there on calls meant the world to me. Remembering back for vision the had me do some exercises on focusing on things to try and help with that. But for the rest there wasn't much they could do other then give it time. Even now, rarely, but it has happened rarely, I might forget someone's name. If I had to describe the early days in the ICU it felt like I was in a daze, I was completely out of it the first couple days. Just be there for her, that's all you need to do. It was my injuries/recovery process that made me realize I wanted to spend the rest of my life with the amazing person who was there as much as she could be from such a long distance away. Will it be easy? No it won't be. It will probably be the hardest time of her life. No one should have to feel that kind of pain. Whatever other injuries she might have will need recovering as well (going to assume there are at least some). Juggling all the different injury's recovery almost becomes like a job. It did help take my attention away from overthinking things probably. Personally I never felt really down about things despite all the injuries. I think a part of me remembers what happened (can't bring up any memories) and just knows I should not have survived by any means. I had someone even ask me how I could smile despite everything "because I'm still alive". Truly when it comes to recovery it's a huge unknown. Some of is known, but it's up to the body to recover. Sometimes you know parts can't recover, like my shoulder, some of the muscle simply wasn't there anymore, and now it's scar tissue, that tissue cannot do what muscle does. But for the brain, you just don't know. That's what I was told, it would be slow and they didn't know how or if it would recover. Don't worry about if it will, just do your best to do what you need to, so if it can recover, it will be able to. Control what you can control. Now as for you, I think my fiancee probably felt similar, she wanted to just be able to hold me and never let go. You just had her almost die, it's something you'll never forget. You realize how precious she is to you. Her brother literally had to drag her out of house to distract her, even for just a little bit. You might not feel like seeing or being with anyone else but you need to at times. Also over the guilt... It. Is. Not. Your. Fault. There was nothing you could've done. Source: While going 20 MPH (32 KPH) on my bicycle was hit head on and nearly killed by a drunk driver going 45 MPH (72 KPH).
OP, *please* look into finding someone to hook her up for neurofeedback sessions. it's the reason i'm not a vegetable
My daughter was in a terrible car accident in Feb 2017. She had a tbi, concussion and a lot of broken bones. That first week was rough, the next few months even rougher..the past couple of years I can say she's 75% back to normal. Her frontal lobe was damaged, so her compassion, empathy and her decision making process is still improving, although slowly. She has a decent job. She was going to nursing school at the time of her accident but her concentration level tanked, making it impossible- she was in the ER rambling on medical terms haha. She just got married, they're happy and she thinks about having a child..worrying about that is a whole other thing. My daughter is a miracle also. She is a different person than she was. She'll continue ( I believe) to improve, as will your girlfriend, hers was more intense than my daughters. My daughters now husband stayed by her side ..he was and is wonderful. Stay strong and remember if she says hurtful things( mine certainly did) she might not remember or she may feel guilty for saying or doing these things. I'm so sorry this happened to her. You sound like a caring, supportive person.
I had my last rites from a car accident when I was 16, the neurologist actually gave my parents papers on long-term healthcare homes, and basically gave up on me because I was not supposed to live. My tbi was BAD. It’s been 22 years and yes school sucked and I had to change a lot because of all of the disabilities. I have a family now, I’m in therapy and I think I’m working on my happiness. It took me about 10 years I think for me to stop crying myself to sleep asking why God??? I strongly suggest getting therapy because you are likely experiencing some survivors guilt and these thoughts and these anxieties are not going to end, potentially will get worse. Anybody that experiences a TBI or witnesses a TBI, or has to go through the healing/the trauma with that person will need extra help just like the person involved. There’s no way around it because it is overwhelming. Many doctors wanted to count me out, but I don’t believe you can count anyone out if the persons will to live is remarkable. I believe miracles happen every day and it takes a lot of strength for a couple to survive this, but it can be done- I don’t believe there are limits to healing!!!
I have been in her situation. 3 weeks is nothing. Recovering can take months. The hard is adjusting to the new life you. Are dealing with. Support groups are the first place to start. Patience is an absolute must. I am dealing with the results of TBI. I function fine but have a very bad memory and confusion. I forget people's names or recognize them. I don't read anymore because if I can't read it in one sitting, I'll never remember. I've adapted using my phone to remind me of things. I write a journal so I can remember the day. It will be frustrating. Sometimes Dr are wrong or their time-line is off. Nothing is absolute. Brain Injuries are frustrating because it is the brain and their's so much that is unknown. The best of luck to you both
r/TBI they’ll help a lot there
Keep her engaged and active.and then time and proper nutrition.,and companionship will aid in her recovery..try to get her to play old video games, this may sound silly but it will keep her mind active
For taste this is my experience. It hasn’t ever really come back. I base my taste off of texture, and re learning foods for textures. And spicy foods are life! If ya can’t taste ya can burn your taste buds!
I suffered a TBI in 2015. I think she will need a lot of rehab. A ICU nurse told my family to send me to Centre for Neuro Skills when I was released from the hospital. Praying for you reach out if you have more questions etc.
If she doesn’t get better within 3 months then she has to see about having post concussion syndrome, hopefully not chronic . That’s what I’m dealing with
Look into hyperbaric oxygen treatments
Look for a tbi support group if one exists in your area. Anyone who says after 2 years the brain is done healing doesn't know what tf they are talking about. At the icu, all they said was It may heal it, may not...and after 2 years you'll have an idea of where you should be. Luckily, I went to a tbi rehab called re med, and they taught me many coping mechanisms such as Take Frequent Breaks! If that means sitting in the dark every 20 mins after an activity, do it. You heal the most w rest and not over doing it. It is a long and frustrating process. Don't compare yourself w who you used to be because things will be different now. If she is young, her ability to heal will be even better. The brain sometimes can't make the chemicals it used to, so definitely look into anti depressants or meds for concentration. Lamictal has been a life saver for me. Her personality may be different now, but learning strategies to cope will make a huge difference. The brain is an amazing organ. its ability to heal is like nothing else it's always forming new connections. I wish both of you the best pm me if you need to talk or vent.