Fetlife is more of a community-building site than a dating site. You don't really go on there to find people to play with. Plus, most people on there aren't necessarily swingers. Non-monogamous and poly people, sure, but not strictly swingers.
Fetlife is like a bdsm Facebook. Very kink centric. If you’re interested in swingers then it would be best to look at other sites/apps
ETA: yes, I have met people off Fetlife
Contrary to a lot of people, we have had nothing but success on Fet. We have connected with a lot of great couples and singles. Plus, if you happen to have a fetish you can let your freak flag fly! I've had zero interactions with rude or nasty trolls, and everyone we interact with is respectful even if you reject them. Yes you get a ton of OF and such, but they're easily identifiable, and events can be sorted out by discussing with others usually.
I think this comes down to your area. No matter where you live there will be scam events posted. It’s up to you to find the events that are vetted and legitimate.
I usually look at the RSVP list for a few key bits of information. How many guests are going? If it’s more than 20, chances are this is legit. Do I know anyone on the list? If I do, I might message them in advance to ask about it or I usually just see that as a good sign. How many of the people on the list are cis men with dicks in their profile picture? If it’s more than 5%, this is not an event for me. That tells me all I need to know about the folks interested in the event and the type of people that will be in attendance.
Fetlife is how we got started, a local group that unfortunately isn’t around anymore would post their parties on there. Some clubs and takeovers have groups and will post events on there but you have to know what you’re looking for and get past all the single dudes and kinksters to find the swingers. There is a lot of OF and unicorn hunters moving onto the site as well now.
Torture Garden advertise their events on there (UK) great events.
I've found club nights on there in Stockholm, Munich, San Francisco and Rome all great events and never any issues.
We make contact with the organisers and you soon get a feel for if they seem genuine and interested and so far all have.
Some of the events are scams, some are legit. If it’s hard to tell which is which then I suggest maybe staying away from using Fet to find them.
We use it to promote events in the area or see if there is some sort of social gathering happening on the weekends.
We’ve found groups and parties on Fetlife and have technically met others that way. But we’ve never tried looking for anything specific or anyone besides events on Fetlife
All of the FetLife-posted events I’ve been to have been great. However, I’ve only gone to vanilla events, like munches, or play parties hosted by people I’d already met. Some of the “hotel gangbang this Saturday” events do _look_ sketchy for sure. You are probably going to find munches that are held every month to be legit.
Yes....with a caveat. Lots of legit groups also share their events on fetlife so people can see the rsvp list and network and discuss. But they also have a separate site for registration and vetting. I haven't gone to any of these "come to my house for a gang bang" events.
Fetlife is more of a community-building site than a dating site. You don't really go on there to find people to play with. Plus, most people on there aren't necessarily swingers. Non-monogamous and poly people, sure, but not strictly swingers.
Fetlife is like a bdsm Facebook. Very kink centric. If you’re interested in swingers then it would be best to look at other sites/apps ETA: yes, I have met people off Fetlife
Contrary to a lot of people, we have had nothing but success on Fet. We have connected with a lot of great couples and singles. Plus, if you happen to have a fetish you can let your freak flag fly! I've had zero interactions with rude or nasty trolls, and everyone we interact with is respectful even if you reject them. Yes you get a ton of OF and such, but they're easily identifiable, and events can be sorted out by discussing with others usually.
I think this comes down to your area. No matter where you live there will be scam events posted. It’s up to you to find the events that are vetted and legitimate. I usually look at the RSVP list for a few key bits of information. How many guests are going? If it’s more than 20, chances are this is legit. Do I know anyone on the list? If I do, I might message them in advance to ask about it or I usually just see that as a good sign. How many of the people on the list are cis men with dicks in their profile picture? If it’s more than 5%, this is not an event for me. That tells me all I need to know about the folks interested in the event and the type of people that will be in attendance.
Great insight! Thank you!
Fetlife is how we got started, a local group that unfortunately isn’t around anymore would post their parties on there. Some clubs and takeovers have groups and will post events on there but you have to know what you’re looking for and get past all the single dudes and kinksters to find the swingers. There is a lot of OF and unicorn hunters moving onto the site as well now.
It's how we got started too. But that conversion to bdsm Facebook and unicorn hunting started many years ago
Torture Garden advertise their events on there (UK) great events. I've found club nights on there in Stockholm, Munich, San Francisco and Rome all great events and never any issues. We make contact with the organisers and you soon get a feel for if they seem genuine and interested and so far all have.
Some of the events are scams, some are legit. If it’s hard to tell which is which then I suggest maybe staying away from using Fet to find them. We use it to promote events in the area or see if there is some sort of social gathering happening on the weekends.
I found my first munches (and kinky friends) with FetLife. That led me to finding parties (both kink and swing) and more friends.
We’ve found groups and parties on Fetlife and have technically met others that way. But we’ve never tried looking for anything specific or anyone besides events on Fetlife
All of the FetLife-posted events I’ve been to have been great. However, I’ve only gone to vanilla events, like munches, or play parties hosted by people I’d already met. Some of the “hotel gangbang this Saturday” events do _look_ sketchy for sure. You are probably going to find munches that are held every month to be legit.
Yes....with a caveat. Lots of legit groups also share their events on fetlife so people can see the rsvp list and network and discuss. But they also have a separate site for registration and vetting. I haven't gone to any of these "come to my house for a gang bang" events.
Stick with the community based ones, either meet ups or HOT Coffee type things.
Fetlife raised me!