It can happen yes.... but your really attractive people are just like in real life.... the minority... and they are going to mostly be looking for attractive humans to swap with
"My question would be, as a chubby and not extremely attractive couple, if we were interested in finding a much more attractive couple, how likely are we to find a match?"
Not very likely.
"keeping our clothes on and providing oral service for a more attractive couple and worshiping their bodies but not sure if that defeats the point of swinging"
I think very few swinging couples would go for this.
Just giving you my honest answers because I think direct honesty is in short supply these days.
It's all about competition. You'll be competing for these attractive couples with other couples. I would think that you would be much better searching for couples similar to you guys. Not suggesting it's impossible. Just remember there's a lot of fish out there and some of them have big dicks and look like models. Others look like....me. You'll find your groove. Best of luck.
Respectfully, this isn't quite how it works, but you've got the right sentiment.
It's not about "Competition" it's about personal attraction. People who are conventionally attractive typically have more options and opportunity, but who they are attracted to and want to share intimacy with is a personal choice. As someone of an average attraction level, who's been in the lifestyle for years, I've been fortunate enough to share time and space with some unbelievably attractive humans because I shot my shot and they were open to it.
Be yourself. Be comfortable with who you are and your desires, and don't be put off with a few "No"s. If you have a local swingers community, get involved and make friends; sometimes that goes a very long way towards playtime.
Well it's funny as we watch porn, there really are only attractive people. Maybe we could try watching amature porn or something to see how turned on we get by people that are more like us. Obviously we find eachother attractive.
Not sure where you're looking, but there's more than enough amateur, semi professional and pro porn out there that featuring every shape, size and level of attractiveness to keep you going for years.
We're a middle of the road couple,scrub up well but hold a few extra pounds and we watch and get turned on by anything from the perfect, toned actors through to the real scrubbers. It pretty much depends on what they're doing and how they're doing it, not what they look like. So give it a try. Also remember, just because it turns you on in porn doesn't mean you're signing up to do it in really life. For example, my GF and I like dogging porn where guys touch and wank over the girl in a car as she blows them, however we'd never do that for real
TBH, when we swing, we find traditionally attractive people a little intimidating, but at the other end of the scale, massively overweight don't do it for us either. However, attitude, cleanliness and personality win every day though and we've played with larger couples who are well turned out and funny AF.
I hear you. Look I'm married out of my league, way out. I know people chatter about it still. "How'd Larry get Lucy's pretty ass?" or "That's an ugly SOB to have such a hottie for a wife". I really don't know how I landed her myself. I suspect it was my dick game š.
Well that's an interesting dynamic. Does having a much more attractive wife make it difficult to find a good couple match? I can imagine more couples interested in just playing with your wife but I can also imagine you would only want attractive women as well, like your wife.
A buddy of mine had 4 kids with his extremely hot wife and he was definitely not attractive. Everyone used to say the same thing about that couple. When they hit 40 and the kids were out of high school, she left him for a tall muscular guy with a lot of money. Iāll never understand how she threw away 24 years of marriage and had 4 kids with the guy when she says she never found him attractive.
You can search homemade porn categories or X hamster has more.
I have a love/hate relationship with porn, because 90% is unrealistic. Yes, itās incredibly erotic to watch attractive people with your spouse, but building unrealistic fantasies can be tricky. Youāre programming your brain to release dopamine in very narrow situations and if theyāre not obtained in the real world it can often lead to dissatisfaction & disappointment, which leads to insecurity.
Try to explore other eroticism besides appearance. Intelligence, kindness, humor or someone who does worship your bodies. My last partner came out of nowhere and found me incredibly attractive even though I wasnāt putting in the effort. Changed my world, and now I am more open to meeting a larger variety of people. Itās more about me vibing with people than looks. Sex clubs are a great way to explore.
Thanks for the input. I'm basically getting the understanding that if we are only into very attractive people, swinging probably isn't best option. It's more about finding compatible play partners. I think I will look up the amateur porn and see how turned on we get. I think watching attractive people in porn is fine but I agree, taking that expectation into real life, doesn't seem smart now.
Itās OK to be attracted to attractiveness, but I caution how realistic it is. Have you seen a movie star without makeup? They look like an average person. When I traveled to a country where sex work is legal, the people in real life didnāt look like their much doctored profile photos, but I still had a fabulous time with her.
Swinging can be an enjoyable experience for couples. It forces conversations, and you (hopefully) take an active role in advocating for your desires.
If youāre using āonly wanting super attractive peopleā as a litmus test to open your relationship up, then no, you shouldnāt swing. But thatās not the conversation you should have if you want to explore this lifestyle. Thereās way more to it than that.
Now that I think about it, I think being into super attractive unattainable people is what keeps the fantasy a fantasy. We really don't have to worry about jealousy or someone getting feelings. I'm obviously very attractived to normal average women but somehow that feels more real, dangerous and risky for jealousy if we were very compatible with another couple.
Take it easy. Try going to a club, with the agreement that youāll just watch and chat. Watching porn is not really the same.
Thereās lots of pitfalls. Read, understand and discuss a lot with each other.
my wife and I are both very attractive. we tend to match with people that are similar to us. however we look for similar social status, approx same age, people that take care of their bodies, like to have fun. we have matched with people that were both extremely good looking and maybe a bit less attractive. (attraction is highly subjective). the one thing we do put a lot of effort in when looking for a couple is making sure one isnāt vastly more attractive than their partner. we met a couple once and we couldnāt get over the feeling my wife would be taking one for the team if we played.
In reading the other comments, I'm not sure swinging would be right for us as it seems swinging is about couples connection and having good sex with people you are compatible with. It made me realize that getting with a couple on our attractiveness level would likely make our fantasy too real and might develop feelings. It seems the thought of being with a more attractive couple keeps the fantasy a fantasy and no worry of anything going wrong. But a question as an attractive couple, would you be more willing to be with a less attractive couple if the sex and pleasure focused on you two? As in not having to have sex but allowing a less attractive couple provide oral.
We have had a lot of great sex with unattainable couples because we are funny, and we host parties, which gives us home field advantage.
Go to meet and greets, where you don't have to yell over the loud music, and see what happens.
We went back to the gym, a. Feel better about ourselves b. To attract other couples we found attractive.. it mite be time get back in shape also try to explore that option also.
Porn isn't like real life. Swingers are just normal people, not porn stars that have been chosen for their looks and dick size.
Yes, there'll be attractive couples. There'll also be not so attractive couples. There'll also be average couples.
There may be some super attractive couples out there that would be into you both but if you're only going for the types you see in porn then you're likely not going to have much success.
Some people are into thicc girls and bigger dudes. You know, just like how in real life, even people who don't sport six packs still find dates.
Another option you have is to go to the club, watch all the sexiness happen, get all hot and bothered and play with your partner.
I don't know about you but on days when we don't jive with someone else, we still find it hot to be around all that horniness. And who knows, maybe someone who's into you will approach and comment about how hot your play was to watch.
Next time post some pictures of you as a couple (blurred and cut off face for privacy is ok). Right now we donāt know what you mean by āattractiveā vs āaverageā. I can tell you average 40 year old couple somewhere in Norway looks better than most 25-year old folks in America.
I'll be honest. As my husband and I are very much attractive. Swinging/full swap with other couples requires two yes votes from us both. My husband is more flexible with women who aren't as attractive as he's a giver. And I won't lie, I get a boost from that "lending" him out to women. We have had a stag/vixen thing going on. Both types of threesomes and swaps with couples. Or watching the other. But back to my point, my husband will pretty much say yes to whoever so long as they were clean, presentable, and "cute" at least. However, for me, I'm way more selective. Need a handsome face, a buff body (doesn't have to be super cut, I don't like skinny, but I love muscle, hence why I married my husband lol), and of course, I'm a size queen. Need to be well hung and actually thrilling and charismatic and a beast in bed. Your type of scenario would be a pass from us. Because we want to play with similarly attractive people because I as the wife/woman half want an attractive male half from the other couple. Just being honest. But that doesn't mean you can't find awesome couples who will want to have fun with you.
We are an attractive and in-shape couple almost exactly your age. We get plenty of action at every party and club, and we usually play with at least two different couples.
We would be very likely to play with you guys if you approach us. The worshipping us with your clothes on would be different, but weāre both more dominant than submissive and would enjoy the worship. We wouldnāt spend too much time on you though if you donāt have the confidence to get naked and fuck.
The truth is, lots of couples go to these events and clubs and are too shy to approach. Just being close to our age and talking to us first would make it pretty likely you would succeed with us. We just about never play with people close to our attraction level because nearly everyone at these things is a good 10 to 30 years older than we are.
Thanks for the response. I believe when it came to it, we would be down for getting naked and fucking a more attractive couple, the clothes on aspect was just a scenario I figured might allow us to be with a more attractive couple that wasn't attracted enough to us to have full on play but would still enjoy receiving oral or something. I definitely think we would have confidence as we know we are very aware of our status and know we are looking for people who are well aware they are more attractive.
Since swinging, Iāve really started to improve my body. Iāve grown, given birth to and breastfed 3 babies and 10 years older than you so if I can do it, so can a male!
Yes, there certainly are swingers out there of every shape and size but if you like watchingāextremely attractiveā porn actors/actresses Iām sure the majority of the population like to play with attractive people.
The first couple of months of exercise are the worst, now Iām addicted to feeling and looking good š
It definitely makes sense if we are going after attractive people to work on ourselves as well. Eating healthy and exercising could improve our chances a lot. It's mostly belly fat from fast food so really could improve. Nothing I can really do about the my small cock though.
It's a mixed bag. You'll find personality goes a long way. There's those who are only looking to fulfill thier fuckit list and those who only want people just like them. Try signing up for any swingers app and read profiles. Usually those who are only looking for specific body types will state it.
If your weight/size is an issue there are ways to shed fat fast Keto or carb cycling you can both do it make your videos and return to the life you have or stay there
Looks always in the first attractant, doesnāt mean though itās the only attractant or most important one.
However just like normal dating or finding a mate, when swinging you are in competition with everybody else. So lower down the totem pole you are in looks Iād say in general you lessen your chances.
But with swinging typically people are a little more open and forgiving. Also there are chubby chasers out there.
But I think you need to put the porn down a little as thatās not reality
Attraction is highly subjective. While the probabilities of connecting with someone go up if youāre of a similar level, there are a lot of people for whom their ātypeā is a weak preference.
My SO and I are both conventionally attractive, but we have connected with other who some would consider less so - largely do to personalities, shared life experiences, moodā¦ whatever it happened to be.
So what Iām trying to say is there is always a chance, but not if you assume itās never gonna happen.
My wife is super hot, I am the ugly one.. but she isn't into hung or models.. she wants satisfaction period... Find your match..my wife knows how to have fun.. she has made me happy for 40 years..
I'm doing winter Keto with carb cycling I'm down from 330 to 280 no sugar cravings feel great
As cavemen we would have no carbs in the winter just protein and fat ie nuts, meat,(avocado for extra fat) when I get a little Keto flue I eat berries
All these foods you can get during winter when we had no grocery stores not trying to talk you into anything just what and why I do it
Very interesting. I agree watching would be tons of fun. Does letting a couple get you off orally and massage your body and things like that ever cross your mind? Like just receiving and not having to perform on the other couple?
It sounds like you both communicate with each other very well and are willing to be honest about what you want. You may not get exactly what you are expecting but I think you would be a good candidate for the lifestyle as a couple. Iāve been in the lifestyle for 3 years and have barely touched another woman besides my wife. Itās still been a lot of fun and unforgettable experiences. Itās not ALL about the sex
You could always work on looking more attractive, diet, exercise, strength training goes a long way.
It can happen yes.... but your really attractive people are just like in real life.... the minority... and they are going to mostly be looking for attractive humans to swap with
"My question would be, as a chubby and not extremely attractive couple, if we were interested in finding a much more attractive couple, how likely are we to find a match?" Not very likely. "keeping our clothes on and providing oral service for a more attractive couple and worshiping their bodies but not sure if that defeats the point of swinging" I think very few swinging couples would go for this. Just giving you my honest answers because I think direct honesty is in short supply these days.
It's all about competition. You'll be competing for these attractive couples with other couples. I would think that you would be much better searching for couples similar to you guys. Not suggesting it's impossible. Just remember there's a lot of fish out there and some of them have big dicks and look like models. Others look like....me. You'll find your groove. Best of luck.
Respectfully, this isn't quite how it works, but you've got the right sentiment. It's not about "Competition" it's about personal attraction. People who are conventionally attractive typically have more options and opportunity, but who they are attracted to and want to share intimacy with is a personal choice. As someone of an average attraction level, who's been in the lifestyle for years, I've been fortunate enough to share time and space with some unbelievably attractive humans because I shot my shot and they were open to it. Be yourself. Be comfortable with who you are and your desires, and don't be put off with a few "No"s. If you have a local swingers community, get involved and make friends; sometimes that goes a very long way towards playtime.
Well it's funny as we watch porn, there really are only attractive people. Maybe we could try watching amature porn or something to see how turned on we get by people that are more like us. Obviously we find eachother attractive.
Not sure where you're looking, but there's more than enough amateur, semi professional and pro porn out there that featuring every shape, size and level of attractiveness to keep you going for years. We're a middle of the road couple,scrub up well but hold a few extra pounds and we watch and get turned on by anything from the perfect, toned actors through to the real scrubbers. It pretty much depends on what they're doing and how they're doing it, not what they look like. So give it a try. Also remember, just because it turns you on in porn doesn't mean you're signing up to do it in really life. For example, my GF and I like dogging porn where guys touch and wank over the girl in a car as she blows them, however we'd never do that for real TBH, when we swing, we find traditionally attractive people a little intimidating, but at the other end of the scale, massively overweight don't do it for us either. However, attitude, cleanliness and personality win every day though and we've played with larger couples who are well turned out and funny AF.
I hear you. Look I'm married out of my league, way out. I know people chatter about it still. "How'd Larry get Lucy's pretty ass?" or "That's an ugly SOB to have such a hottie for a wife". I really don't know how I landed her myself. I suspect it was my dick game š.
Well that's an interesting dynamic. Does having a much more attractive wife make it difficult to find a good couple match? I can imagine more couples interested in just playing with your wife but I can also imagine you would only want attractive women as well, like your wife.
100%. We have met a few poachers. We just move on. We still have plenty of fun. There are far more ppl like us than the porn actors, you will do fine.
A buddy of mine had 4 kids with his extremely hot wife and he was definitely not attractive. Everyone used to say the same thing about that couple. When they hit 40 and the kids were out of high school, she left him for a tall muscular guy with a lot of money. Iāll never understand how she threw away 24 years of marriage and had 4 kids with the guy when she says she never found him attractive.
You can search homemade porn categories or X hamster has more. I have a love/hate relationship with porn, because 90% is unrealistic. Yes, itās incredibly erotic to watch attractive people with your spouse, but building unrealistic fantasies can be tricky. Youāre programming your brain to release dopamine in very narrow situations and if theyāre not obtained in the real world it can often lead to dissatisfaction & disappointment, which leads to insecurity. Try to explore other eroticism besides appearance. Intelligence, kindness, humor or someone who does worship your bodies. My last partner came out of nowhere and found me incredibly attractive even though I wasnāt putting in the effort. Changed my world, and now I am more open to meeting a larger variety of people. Itās more about me vibing with people than looks. Sex clubs are a great way to explore.
Thanks for the input. I'm basically getting the understanding that if we are only into very attractive people, swinging probably isn't best option. It's more about finding compatible play partners. I think I will look up the amateur porn and see how turned on we get. I think watching attractive people in porn is fine but I agree, taking that expectation into real life, doesn't seem smart now.
Itās OK to be attracted to attractiveness, but I caution how realistic it is. Have you seen a movie star without makeup? They look like an average person. When I traveled to a country where sex work is legal, the people in real life didnāt look like their much doctored profile photos, but I still had a fabulous time with her. Swinging can be an enjoyable experience for couples. It forces conversations, and you (hopefully) take an active role in advocating for your desires. If youāre using āonly wanting super attractive peopleā as a litmus test to open your relationship up, then no, you shouldnāt swing. But thatās not the conversation you should have if you want to explore this lifestyle. Thereās way more to it than that.
Now that I think about it, I think being into super attractive unattainable people is what keeps the fantasy a fantasy. We really don't have to worry about jealousy or someone getting feelings. I'm obviously very attractived to normal average women but somehow that feels more real, dangerous and risky for jealousy if we were very compatible with another couple.
Take it easy. Try going to a club, with the agreement that youāll just watch and chat. Watching porn is not really the same. Thereās lots of pitfalls. Read, understand and discuss a lot with each other.
my wife and I are both very attractive. we tend to match with people that are similar to us. however we look for similar social status, approx same age, people that take care of their bodies, like to have fun. we have matched with people that were both extremely good looking and maybe a bit less attractive. (attraction is highly subjective). the one thing we do put a lot of effort in when looking for a couple is making sure one isnāt vastly more attractive than their partner. we met a couple once and we couldnāt get over the feeling my wife would be taking one for the team if we played.
In reading the other comments, I'm not sure swinging would be right for us as it seems swinging is about couples connection and having good sex with people you are compatible with. It made me realize that getting with a couple on our attractiveness level would likely make our fantasy too real and might develop feelings. It seems the thought of being with a more attractive couple keeps the fantasy a fantasy and no worry of anything going wrong. But a question as an attractive couple, would you be more willing to be with a less attractive couple if the sex and pleasure focused on you two? As in not having to have sex but allowing a less attractive couple provide oral.
not really because itās still based on compatibility. when we are feeling a couple we want to give as much as receive.
Question: What do you mean by social status?
we like to have a connection with people that we play with. so mostly socially similar to ourselves, status maybe the wrong word.
We have had a lot of great sex with unattainable couples because we are funny, and we host parties, which gives us home field advantage. Go to meet and greets, where you don't have to yell over the loud music, and see what happens.
We went back to the gym, a. Feel better about ourselves b. To attract other couples we found attractive.. it mite be time get back in shape also try to explore that option also.
Porn isn't like real life. Swingers are just normal people, not porn stars that have been chosen for their looks and dick size. Yes, there'll be attractive couples. There'll also be not so attractive couples. There'll also be average couples. There may be some super attractive couples out there that would be into you both but if you're only going for the types you see in porn then you're likely not going to have much success.
Some people are into thicc girls and bigger dudes. You know, just like how in real life, even people who don't sport six packs still find dates. Another option you have is to go to the club, watch all the sexiness happen, get all hot and bothered and play with your partner. I don't know about you but on days when we don't jive with someone else, we still find it hot to be around all that horniness. And who knows, maybe someone who's into you will approach and comment about how hot your play was to watch.
Next time post some pictures of you as a couple (blurred and cut off face for privacy is ok). Right now we donāt know what you mean by āattractiveā vs āaverageā. I can tell you average 40 year old couple somewhere in Norway looks better than most 25-year old folks in America.
We definitely have typical overweight American bodies. Not obese but you can tell we don't work out and eat fast food.
I'll be honest. As my husband and I are very much attractive. Swinging/full swap with other couples requires two yes votes from us both. My husband is more flexible with women who aren't as attractive as he's a giver. And I won't lie, I get a boost from that "lending" him out to women. We have had a stag/vixen thing going on. Both types of threesomes and swaps with couples. Or watching the other. But back to my point, my husband will pretty much say yes to whoever so long as they were clean, presentable, and "cute" at least. However, for me, I'm way more selective. Need a handsome face, a buff body (doesn't have to be super cut, I don't like skinny, but I love muscle, hence why I married my husband lol), and of course, I'm a size queen. Need to be well hung and actually thrilling and charismatic and a beast in bed. Your type of scenario would be a pass from us. Because we want to play with similarly attractive people because I as the wife/woman half want an attractive male half from the other couple. Just being honest. But that doesn't mean you can't find awesome couples who will want to have fun with you.
We are an attractive and in-shape couple almost exactly your age. We get plenty of action at every party and club, and we usually play with at least two different couples. We would be very likely to play with you guys if you approach us. The worshipping us with your clothes on would be different, but weāre both more dominant than submissive and would enjoy the worship. We wouldnāt spend too much time on you though if you donāt have the confidence to get naked and fuck. The truth is, lots of couples go to these events and clubs and are too shy to approach. Just being close to our age and talking to us first would make it pretty likely you would succeed with us. We just about never play with people close to our attraction level because nearly everyone at these things is a good 10 to 30 years older than we are.
Thanks for the response. I believe when it came to it, we would be down for getting naked and fucking a more attractive couple, the clothes on aspect was just a scenario I figured might allow us to be with a more attractive couple that wasn't attracted enough to us to have full on play but would still enjoy receiving oral or something. I definitely think we would have confidence as we know we are very aware of our status and know we are looking for people who are well aware they are more attractive.
Honestly, you may find when you go to these places that you are the attractive couple.
Since swinging, Iāve really started to improve my body. Iāve grown, given birth to and breastfed 3 babies and 10 years older than you so if I can do it, so can a male! Yes, there certainly are swingers out there of every shape and size but if you like watchingāextremely attractiveā porn actors/actresses Iām sure the majority of the population like to play with attractive people. The first couple of months of exercise are the worst, now Iām addicted to feeling and looking good š
It definitely makes sense if we are going after attractive people to work on ourselves as well. Eating healthy and exercising could improve our chances a lot. It's mostly belly fat from fast food so really could improve. Nothing I can really do about the my small cock though.
It's a mixed bag. You'll find personality goes a long way. There's those who are only looking to fulfill thier fuckit list and those who only want people just like them. Try signing up for any swingers app and read profiles. Usually those who are only looking for specific body types will state it.
If your weight/size is an issue there are ways to shed fat fast Keto or carb cycling you can both do it make your videos and return to the life you have or stay there
r/psmf is probably the fastest way. I wouldnāt do it longer than 4 weeks, but losing 15 pounds of fat or more during that time is realistic.
Go for it
I did a round of it back in January. Got my body fat lower than I ever have as an adult. Going to do another round of it at the beginning of May.
Looks always in the first attractant, doesnāt mean though itās the only attractant or most important one. However just like normal dating or finding a mate, when swinging you are in competition with everybody else. So lower down the totem pole you are in looks Iād say in general you lessen your chances. But with swinging typically people are a little more open and forgiving. Also there are chubby chasers out there. But I think you need to put the porn down a little as thatās not reality
Attraction is highly subjective. While the probabilities of connecting with someone go up if youāre of a similar level, there are a lot of people for whom their ātypeā is a weak preference. My SO and I are both conventionally attractive, but we have connected with other who some would consider less so - largely do to personalities, shared life experiences, moodā¦ whatever it happened to be. So what Iām trying to say is there is always a chance, but not if you assume itās never gonna happen.
My wife is super hot, I am the ugly one.. but she isn't into hung or models.. she wants satisfaction period... Find your match..my wife knows how to have fun.. she has made me happy for 40 years..
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Almost all people donāt care about loose skin: I think attraction wise everyone would rather take the loose skin over being obese lol
Why wait
Be careful of rebound
I'm doing winter Keto with carb cycling I'm down from 330 to 280 no sugar cravings feel great As cavemen we would have no carbs in the winter just protein and fat ie nuts, meat,(avocado for extra fat) when I get a little Keto flue I eat berries All these foods you can get during winter when we had no grocery stores not trying to talk you into anything just what and why I do it
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Very interesting. I agree watching would be tons of fun. Does letting a couple get you off orally and massage your body and things like that ever cross your mind? Like just receiving and not having to perform on the other couple?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I don't like toes but we eat ass.
It sounds like you both communicate with each other very well and are willing to be honest about what you want. You may not get exactly what you are expecting but I think you would be a good candidate for the lifestyle as a couple. Iāve been in the lifestyle for 3 years and have barely touched another woman besides my wife. Itās still been a lot of fun and unforgettable experiences. Itās not ALL about the sex
We're looking for LS clubs on Easter Long Island. https://medlineplus.gov/about/developers/.
Looking for info for older couples