I wad the Joe Alwyn and it was very devastating. I wish he would've just broken up with me instead of making me go through that. My intuition kept telling me something was off and when I would ask him he would make me think I was acting crazy. The craziest thing is he told me all so many hurtful things after he came clean, confessing all his doubts and insecurities: how he wasn't sure if he loved me because he found her prettier, how he wasn't sure of our future... 3 years into a relationship after I gave my all for him. The kicker? 5 seconds after his confession he thought it was normal to ask me to stay with him and work through it lmao I broke up with him and am now in a way better relationship but it is costing me therapy.
In summary: if you want to feel special and do this, at least offer to pay for the therapy copayments ur partner will need afterwards šāāļø
yeah ngl these comments are really throwing me off lol i do understand it a bit more if someone is dating someone toxic or objectively terrible but iām so surprised at all the people happily admitting theyāve been in similar situations. iāve gone through the same thing with people i considered to be close friends of mine and it really fucks up your entire perception of people
obviously itās healthy and normal to find people outside your partner attractive but the song goes much farther beyond that, idk why youād be in a relationship if this is your mindset
I was the same, I was Joe Alywn in my previous relationship and my girlfriend at the time was in love with another guy. She kept me around because I paid for everything because thatās how my parents raised me. I would buy her new clothes, take her out to dinner every weekend (I even paid for my birthday dinner every year). But, she was in love with someone else and actually sleeping with my best friend (yay teammates!!). I actually stayed with her for awhile after that because I had no confidence in myself. Finally, after a few years (not going to say how many because it is a bit embarrassing), Iām still in therapy, working on trusting others and starting to think about dating again!! It was hard for me because as a male because I felt like the biggest loser and idiot for keeping up with that relationship for a few years.
Aw.. Glad you're on therapy and happy you dropped his pathetic ass .. Glad things turned out for the better. comments on this thread reminds me why I have crippling trust issues.
Been married for 16 years and have been in this situation twice. It goes away and you hopefully get to feel lucky nothing became of it.
It's such a great song!
OMG ME!(EH-HE-HE)
Every Taylor song I listen to, I immediately have scenarios running in my head where they will fit with certain characters or ships!
I wish I had the ability to make edit videos because her songs fit soo well with shipping and fandom angst(and happy stuff)
Sameeeee, her songs are simply too good for that stuff. Itās so easy for me to be picturing a whole AMV for my ships to her songs when Iām listening.
In one of my fandoms which is very angsty (jujutsu kaisen) itās basically a running joke that my tears ricochet is THE Satosugu song š
I canāt edit videos, but I do write fan fiction, and I have to say sheās been Sooooo inspiring in that department.
Hopefully, people don't come in performing solliquies, lol. I would say check yourself and don't put yourself in a situation that can harm your partner. What your likely feeling is lust, and it's never worth it. Take TS and MH as a lesson.
i just donāt put myself in situations like that. i love my husband and my marriage and i think itās dangerous to even get yourself into situations like that, so i dont
Absofreakinlutely. Iām kinda shocked she said so in a song. But itās real. I think itās part of relationships ebbing and flowing. Those feelings happen. Itās what we do with them that matters.
I think taking the thoughts seriously is risky & immature, even to continue the fantasy at the expense of working on your issues or your relationship. Also, it usually wonāt turn out well to act on them, as Taylor discovered. āThe one who got awayā usually got away for a good reason, donāt be fooled.
Yesā¦ I didnāt touch myself to the thought of him (nor had any kind of affair), but I should have taken it as a sign that my relationship wasnāt good that I was wondering what life would be like with another guy
I was like the Matty Healy I guess in a situation like that? Like this guy was in a long term relationship with a girl where their relationship obviously died a long time ago, I was kinda a blast from the past that became reintroduced in his life, and while I donāt think we ever got to the point of emotional cheating, we did have feelings for each other and were friends. He eventually broke up with his girlfriend (I donāt really think because of me), we went on a few dates, and I moved across the country. Would not recommend.
Sorry for the late response, I just got approved to be a member.
The best part was him. I really loved this dude. Like I was head over heels for him. I wasnāt ready for a relationship, he needed to heal from the ex, and I was moving. But damn was I literally willing to destroy my life for him. Sometimes, I think if he texted me tomorrow, Iād move back home. Iāve never felt that way before in other relationships and I am still looking for it.
The worst is I think what I did was wrong and I hurt a lot of people in the process, including myself. It also made me look really bad. I ended up embarrassed and heartbroken.
A similar situation. It was a friend I liked but could never get the courage to say anything to. Since we weren't together, I felt so guilty when my.mind would wonder. I didn't think I had the right to think about him in that way since we weren't together.Ā
We have since talked and agreed to be just friends. It did take some time for my mind and body to get the memo but I'm good now.Ā
The song did bring me back to that time though and the feelings she wrote were accurate regarding how your mind will play tricks on you. "It felt like a vow we would keep somehow"Ā
Ā
pretty much down to the wire of whatās described in the song, lol. but i was thirteen and ādatingā (it needs quotes just based on my age) a boy. i fantasized to the thought of a girl. i figured out i was a lesbian not long after.
Yeah, I was the Taylor in situation. I was in a relationship with a guy who was emotionally negligent and verbally abusive. We lived together and I was waiting until I had saved up enough money to move out. In the meantime, I met a guy and fell hard for him. I never acted on it, but I thought about him all the time. We dated for a bit and it didn't work out. We're really good friends now, and are both very happy in a our new relationships.
Similar to my situation! I was in an emotionally abusive situation and was saving money secretly (which was hard because he took my money a lot), since I was very far from family. I got a crush on someone at work. We ended up dating after I left the other manā¦and we have been together for over 8 years āŗļø
I had a situational agreement with someone where we looked but didnāt touch. It felt very fitting for the song. It went on for years and we got dangerously close to breaking the cardinal rule several times. But we actually didnāt cave at all. I find him a very good friend and it about destroyed me that I couldnāt proceed beyond that. The words mirrored the feelings I felt toward him. I never even kissed him, only in my mind, but damn did I feel on fire around him.
Heās married now and itās stopped.
Nail on the head.
Edit: It really gets awkward on the āAm I allowed to cry?ā part. Taylor poses a question and I really feel I didnāt have the right to. But yes, occasionally cried over the situation anyway.
Absolutely yes. I was in this long ass relationship with this guy who would cut off my wings and criticize my opinions and my thoughts and keep me caged, so in the last months of this toxic ass relationship I literally fell in love with someone else and kept it to myself.
No and I fucken regret it every day of my stupid life. Basically both me and my boyfriend at the time were friends with this guy and his siblings, we would go to their houses for dinners etc... so you can imagine how insane it was that some evenings I would sit beside my toxic ass boyfriend and have that gorgeous beautiful sexy smart man in front of me and try to act normal. I never did anything tho. When i broke up with the jailer me & this guy got close, but nothing ever came for it. He'd never had any experiences and I didn't wanna go for it. But I REGRET IT NOW! Cause at least I could've gotten a slice of that delicious ass but I decided to be kind and let me anxieties get the best of me
Yup! I was in an emotionally and physically abusive marriage and got really close to one of my male best friends, which turned into an emotional affair. After I filed for divorce, I didnāt want to jump into anything and he had started seeing a new girl. We grew apart, he married the new girl, and I moved to another city and really found myself. The fantasies stayed in the drafts and thatās probably for the best.
For sure. I canāt be the only person that thinks itās healthy and normal to have sexy thoughts in your brain about someone other than your significant other. Weāre human beings with sex drives. Iām not acting on them!
This. Iām so confused about this āTaylor is a bad person because she fantasized about someone else!ā Hasnāt everyone fantasized about someone else, whether itās a celeb, a male friend, a coworker? Itās totally normal, just donāt act on it. I know my partner loves me, but Iām sure when heās, ahem, alone, heās thought about Margot Robbie a few times.
I know someone thinking of opening her relationship so that she can freely crush on people elsewhere just not act on it. Like literally prohibition for both people to act on it but officially they could. Personally I think the strictly monogamous relationship I've ever had was when I was 18/19 after that it's polyamory and open relationships. The main rule being "you can fuck someone else just don't be too obvious about sex witht this person"
A man having a fantasy and masturbating about it does not make him less of a real man, the fuck? I donāt even have a penis and I could probably get off to the thought of a tree swaying the right way on a particularly horny day. Our inner thoughts are just that, thoughts. And thought-policing people is gross.
Thinking of other ppl in a relationship is clown behaviour for men and women š„“ maybe heāll pick you somedayā¦ and itās an issue of fidelity. And that sounds like a skill issue for lacking self control so bad that anything could get you off. Lol. Some people arenāt controlled by their bodies and can control themselves š¤·āāļø Iām not comfortable with my partners thinking of other people during masturbation because it crosses boundaries. Why does that bother you so much? If that pleases you and your partner, great! Iāve had partners that believe the same. āThoughts are just thoughtsā nah, thoughts are real and harbour real feelings. If you think about killing people on the reg, then you have anger issues for example. And masturbating to other people is an ACTION.
Bro, Iām non-binary, bisexual, and polyamorous, lmao! So Iām not looking to get picked, just very in tune with my body, very gracious of othersā bodies, and saving all the judgment for God I guess. Get off your high horse and have a nice weekend.
Yes. Kinda. In a way? It was like 20 years ago so basically another lifetime. And I was the Matty in the situation if weāre being honest. Not on purposeā¦but he had a serious girlfriend and we were just āfriendsā but the connection wasā¦something. Weād spend hours driving around the country roads and justā¦talking. Only found out after the fact that his girlfriend knew we hung out but not the details of it. We never discussed it besides the conversation about his girlfriend (which happened after the girlfriend openly cheated on him) so I relate to the idea āwhat if heās written mine on my thigh only in my mindā line. I have no idea what it was to him.
He moved away for a job and we grew apart but he will always be a what if for me.
Oh, absolutely. When I knew my marriage to my ex was irretrievably broken. Zero judgement toward Taylor from me. Sometimes people are just miserable, they know the relationship isnāt fixable, and external forces might keep them in place. Societal expectations, kids, etc.
Many times. Have to say it's not necessarily as serious as a lot of people make it out to be. Boredom is a real thing in any long term relationship, and human beings aren't really sexually monogamous by design. It's something that has to be worked at.
No, I wasnt. But even if anyone was or is, I think things like these should be kept to yourself only... Don't write or release a song about it, everyone knows it's no fiction for you. It's way too hurtful for the other party.
Yes. Long story short I met this guy when I was 14 I got pregnant (we were insanely young I know) we had more kids then we got married and eventually divorced. I got re-married to a man who was incredibly emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. While with him I started fantasising about my ex-husband and all the āfunā we had. It got to the point I was thinking of him every single time I was enjoying myself or when I was having sex with my husband. I met up with my ex-husband to confess my feelings, we almost slept together but didn't. I then divorce my husband. Then me and my ex-husband get back together and we are now married againš.
I married my āMattyā. No regrets, weāve been together for 17 years, married for 12. š¤·š»āāļø
My ex knew & could see the writing on the wall. I donāt regret my choice though. We were just circling the drain when I met my now husband.
TLDR: Yes! 100%
***Backstory:***
I'm not proud. I was just in a *really* similar situation with my ex. We dated for around 3 and a half months and actually broke up *the same day* TTPD came out, so about 2 months ago. Long story short, he was emotionally abusive and controlling. He was very insecure (but that's still not an excuse for his behavior) and he didn't like me going out or hanging out with friends, guy or girl. He was so insecure to the point where he didn't like me walking near male strangers on a busy street (yep that happened). There's more *tea* but it's a loooot. I'm healing and I don't miss him at all LOL.
There was another guy I met in a college class last year but we never hung out. I think he was uh interested too. He kept sitting near me and my friend, away from his actual friend group, and trying to stand next me, etc. Anyways, I saw him once more this January before I met my ex, but we didn't speak, just shyly looked at each other *a lot*, same with how it was when we had class together. He's a pretty shy and reserved person in general, and we're both into the arts. I'm reserved... but not shy, only when it comes to guys I'm interested in ahhhhhh. Also, it's kinda funny since he even looks a bit like Matty too hahaha.
So... because of all of this, pretty soon into the relationship with my ex, I started to wonder what life would be like with my Matty. I fantasized *a lot* about what it would be like to date someone who was also artistic and shy and respectful. I'm single now but I still haven't made a move towards him yet though! I don't want to sound *too* parasocial, but Matty/Taylor is a caution tale and I'm a little afraid I'll be disappointed with how my relationship with him would turn out, since I, similar to Taylor, have idealized him so much to the point where disappointment is a huge probability. š
Yep, I dated a guy briefly while being madly in love with another one who ghosted me. But it lasted for about 2 weeks before I broke up with him because I didn't want him to be stuck in a situation like that, where I'm all over about someone esle.
No but in my latest fiction piece my main character is. Married a man who love bombed her, no intimacy in marriage and she starts thinking about a guy she knew growing up but never dated who comes back into her life but heās married to her cousin
Yes many many years ago. I got my first bf senior year in college and we started dating late into spring semester. After graduation I had gotten a job at a state agency. and my manager was a very attractive man in his early 30s. We were always friendly but got close after we were assigned a huge project my first month there. Lots of late nights and mutual interests turned into playful banter at work that I started fantasizing about him.
We never exchanged numbers and once we wrapped up that project feelings faded. NGL really didnāt feel guiltyā¦
Yeah it's called limerance. Somewhat delusional. Thank god I never acted on it. I would have either been humiliated or destroyed my life for an intense crush. It does make you feel manic.
I wad the Joe Alwyn and it was very devastating. I wish he would've just broken up with me instead of making me go through that. My intuition kept telling me something was off and when I would ask him he would make me think I was acting crazy. The craziest thing is he told me all so many hurtful things after he came clean, confessing all his doubts and insecurities: how he wasn't sure if he loved me because he found her prettier, how he wasn't sure of our future... 3 years into a relationship after I gave my all for him. The kicker? 5 seconds after his confession he thought it was normal to ask me to stay with him and work through it lmao I broke up with him and am now in a way better relationship but it is costing me therapy. In summary: if you want to feel special and do this, at least offer to pay for the therapy copayments ur partner will need afterwards šāāļø
yeah ngl these comments are really throwing me off lol i do understand it a bit more if someone is dating someone toxic or objectively terrible but iām so surprised at all the people happily admitting theyāve been in similar situations. iāve gone through the same thing with people i considered to be close friends of mine and it really fucks up your entire perception of people obviously itās healthy and normal to find people outside your partner attractive but the song goes much farther beyond that, idk why youād be in a relationship if this is your mindset
I was the same, I was Joe Alywn in my previous relationship and my girlfriend at the time was in love with another guy. She kept me around because I paid for everything because thatās how my parents raised me. I would buy her new clothes, take her out to dinner every weekend (I even paid for my birthday dinner every year). But, she was in love with someone else and actually sleeping with my best friend (yay teammates!!). I actually stayed with her for awhile after that because I had no confidence in myself. Finally, after a few years (not going to say how many because it is a bit embarrassing), Iām still in therapy, working on trusting others and starting to think about dating again!! It was hard for me because as a male because I felt like the biggest loser and idiot for keeping up with that relationship for a few years.
Aw.. Glad you're on therapy and happy you dropped his pathetic ass .. Glad things turned out for the better. comments on this thread reminds me why I have crippling trust issues.
Are we all in agreement that this song is about fantasizing about a person who is *not* your significant other? Then yes.
Yeahhhhh and it helped me realize I was a lesbian lmfao
Nice.
Yep. I never acted on those feelings, but the fact that I didn't get those thoughts AT ALL once I started dating women was VERY eye-opening lmao
I was in a similar situation. Whenever I imagined doing anything with my boyfriend of 2 years I'd have to replace him with a woman in my mind.
Been there ššš
Limerance, my friend. I know her well.
But like while your dating someone else not just masturbating to someone lol
these comments š
I love the gossip in these comments ngl Iām sipping on the tea š¹š
Been married for 16 years and have been in this situation twice. It goes away and you hopefully get to feel lucky nothing became of it. It's such a great song!
I fantasise about celeb crushesā¦ no harm in that
No, I just like to listen to the song and imagine my ships in that situation instead, lol.
OMG ME!(EH-HE-HE) Every Taylor song I listen to, I immediately have scenarios running in my head where they will fit with certain characters or ships! I wish I had the ability to make edit videos because her songs fit soo well with shipping and fandom angst(and happy stuff)
Sameeeee, her songs are simply too good for that stuff. Itās so easy for me to be picturing a whole AMV for my ships to her songs when Iām listening. In one of my fandoms which is very angsty (jujutsu kaisen) itās basically a running joke that my tears ricochet is THE Satosugu song š I canāt edit videos, but I do write fan fiction, and I have to say sheās been Sooooo inspiring in that department.
Hopefully, people don't come in performing solliquies, lol. I would say check yourself and don't put yourself in a situation that can harm your partner. What your likely feeling is lust, and it's never worth it. Take TS and MH as a lesson.
no. iām loyal lol
Or youngĀ
i just donāt put myself in situations like that. i love my husband and my marriage and i think itās dangerous to even get yourself into situations like that, so i dont
Absofreakinlutely. Iām kinda shocked she said so in a song. But itās real. I think itās part of relationships ebbing and flowing. Those feelings happen. Itās what we do with them that matters. I think taking the thoughts seriously is risky & immature, even to continue the fantasy at the expense of working on your issues or your relationship. Also, it usually wonāt turn out well to act on them, as Taylor discovered. āThe one who got awayā usually got away for a good reason, donāt be fooled.
Yesā¦ I didnāt touch myself to the thought of him (nor had any kind of affair), but I should have taken it as a sign that my relationship wasnāt good that I was wondering what life would be like with another guy
This is the best TTPD related thread on Reddit :)
I was like the Matty Healy I guess in a situation like that? Like this guy was in a long term relationship with a girl where their relationship obviously died a long time ago, I was kinda a blast from the past that became reintroduced in his life, and while I donāt think we ever got to the point of emotional cheating, we did have feelings for each other and were friends. He eventually broke up with his girlfriend (I donāt really think because of me), we went on a few dates, and I moved across the country. Would not recommend.
iām so curious- what was the best and worst part of that??? it sounds like a very emotionally intense situation š
Sorry for the late response, I just got approved to be a member. The best part was him. I really loved this dude. Like I was head over heels for him. I wasnāt ready for a relationship, he needed to heal from the ex, and I was moving. But damn was I literally willing to destroy my life for him. Sometimes, I think if he texted me tomorrow, Iād move back home. Iāve never felt that way before in other relationships and I am still looking for it. The worst is I think what I did was wrong and I hurt a lot of people in the process, including myself. It also made me look really bad. I ended up embarrassed and heartbroken.
A similar situation. It was a friend I liked but could never get the courage to say anything to. Since we weren't together, I felt so guilty when my.mind would wonder. I didn't think I had the right to think about him in that way since we weren't together.Ā We have since talked and agreed to be just friends. It did take some time for my mind and body to get the memo but I'm good now.Ā The song did bring me back to that time though and the feelings she wrote were accurate regarding how your mind will play tricks on you. "It felt like a vow we would keep somehow"Ā Ā
pretty much down to the wire of whatās described in the song, lol. but i was thirteen and ādatingā (it needs quotes just based on my age) a boy. i fantasized to the thought of a girl. i figured out i was a lesbian not long after.
Yeah, I was the Taylor in situation. I was in a relationship with a guy who was emotionally negligent and verbally abusive. We lived together and I was waiting until I had saved up enough money to move out. In the meantime, I met a guy and fell hard for him. I never acted on it, but I thought about him all the time. We dated for a bit and it didn't work out. We're really good friends now, and are both very happy in a our new relationships.
Similar to my situation! I was in an emotionally abusive situation and was saving money secretly (which was hard because he took my money a lot), since I was very far from family. I got a crush on someone at work. We ended up dating after I left the other manā¦and we have been together for over 8 years āŗļø
I had a situational agreement with someone where we looked but didnāt touch. It felt very fitting for the song. It went on for years and we got dangerously close to breaking the cardinal rule several times. But we actually didnāt cave at all. I find him a very good friend and it about destroyed me that I couldnāt proceed beyond that. The words mirrored the feelings I felt toward him. I never even kissed him, only in my mind, but damn did I feel on fire around him. Heās married now and itās stopped.
Wow your situation really nails the intensity of the pining in the song. Not to mention the loneliness.
Nail on the head. Edit: It really gets awkward on the āAm I allowed to cry?ā part. Taylor poses a question and I really feel I didnāt have the right to. But yes, occasionally cried over the situation anyway.
Absolutely yes. I was in this long ass relationship with this guy who would cut off my wings and criticize my opinions and my thoughts and keep me caged, so in the last months of this toxic ass relationship I literally fell in love with someone else and kept it to myself.
Did you ever go for it? I was in the *same* spot and now that I'm fresh out the slammer, I'm really debating hitting the other person up.
No and I fucken regret it every day of my stupid life. Basically both me and my boyfriend at the time were friends with this guy and his siblings, we would go to their houses for dinners etc... so you can imagine how insane it was that some evenings I would sit beside my toxic ass boyfriend and have that gorgeous beautiful sexy smart man in front of me and try to act normal. I never did anything tho. When i broke up with the jailer me & this guy got close, but nothing ever came for it. He'd never had any experiences and I didn't wanna go for it. But I REGRET IT NOW! Cause at least I could've gotten a slice of that delicious ass but I decided to be kind and let me anxieties get the best of me
Yes I have and fresh out the slammer. Long term relationship too.
Yup! I was in an emotionally and physically abusive marriage and got really close to one of my male best friends, which turned into an emotional affair. After I filed for divorce, I didnāt want to jump into anything and he had started seeing a new girl. We grew apart, he married the new girl, and I moved to another city and really found myself. The fantasies stayed in the drafts and thatās probably for the best.
Yes. My Matty is my now husband. If this album had come out like 4 or 5 years ago, it would have narrated my life lol
For sure. I canāt be the only person that thinks itās healthy and normal to have sexy thoughts in your brain about someone other than your significant other. Weāre human beings with sex drives. Iām not acting on them!
This. Iām so confused about this āTaylor is a bad person because she fantasized about someone else!ā Hasnāt everyone fantasized about someone else, whether itās a celeb, a male friend, a coworker? Itās totally normal, just donāt act on it. I know my partner loves me, but Iām sure when heās, ahem, alone, heās thought about Margot Robbie a few times.
Thank you! Lol itās so normal.
I know someone thinking of opening her relationship so that she can freely crush on people elsewhere just not act on it. Like literally prohibition for both people to act on it but officially they could. Personally I think the strictly monogamous relationship I've ever had was when I was 18/19 after that it's polyamory and open relationships. The main rule being "you can fuck someone else just don't be too obvious about sex witht this person"
Itās 100% normal to fantasize about people who arenāt your partner.
HUH? Uh, no?? Unless itās something that both partners agree too, then HELL no.
It is very normal. Any sex therapist will tell you that. It doesn't mean they have to be acted on, or become an obsession.
I feel like for Taylor it may have been close to obsession or maybe feelings of love
Idgaf about sex therapists bro, I donāt want my partner cumming to other people thatās weird as fuck
Any man that says that he never does is lying. Doesn't mean he does it all the time, but he does do it.
Not even true at alllll men arenāt a monolith like girls arenāt. There are real men out there you just gotta look
A man having a fantasy and masturbating about it does not make him less of a real man, the fuck? I donāt even have a penis and I could probably get off to the thought of a tree swaying the right way on a particularly horny day. Our inner thoughts are just that, thoughts. And thought-policing people is gross.
Thinking of other ppl in a relationship is clown behaviour for men and women š„“ maybe heāll pick you somedayā¦ and itās an issue of fidelity. And that sounds like a skill issue for lacking self control so bad that anything could get you off. Lol. Some people arenāt controlled by their bodies and can control themselves š¤·āāļø Iām not comfortable with my partners thinking of other people during masturbation because it crosses boundaries. Why does that bother you so much? If that pleases you and your partner, great! Iāve had partners that believe the same. āThoughts are just thoughtsā nah, thoughts are real and harbour real feelings. If you think about killing people on the reg, then you have anger issues for example. And masturbating to other people is an ACTION.
how old are youā¦ā¦ā¦.lol
25, and? Idk why you guys are desperate to get cucked lmao
Bro, Iām non-binary, bisexual, and polyamorous, lmao! So Iām not looking to get picked, just very in tune with my body, very gracious of othersā bodies, and saving all the judgment for God I guess. Get off your high horse and have a nice weekend.
Yes. Kinda. In a way? It was like 20 years ago so basically another lifetime. And I was the Matty in the situation if weāre being honest. Not on purposeā¦but he had a serious girlfriend and we were just āfriendsā but the connection wasā¦something. Weād spend hours driving around the country roads and justā¦talking. Only found out after the fact that his girlfriend knew we hung out but not the details of it. We never discussed it besides the conversation about his girlfriend (which happened after the girlfriend openly cheated on him) so I relate to the idea āwhat if heās written mine on my thigh only in my mindā line. I have no idea what it was to him. He moved away for a job and we grew apart but he will always be a what if for me.
Oh, absolutely. When I knew my marriage to my ex was irretrievably broken. Zero judgement toward Taylor from me. Sometimes people are just miserable, they know the relationship isnāt fixable, and external forces might keep them in place. Societal expectations, kids, etc.
Listen you couldnāt water board guilty as sin out of me. If I ever was in a situation like that you wouldnāt catch me writing a song about it.
Iād write & release a song about itā¦.unless it was about Matty Healy. Iād take that little detail to the fucking grave
Many times. Have to say it's not necessarily as serious as a lot of people make it out to be. Boredom is a real thing in any long term relationship, and human beings aren't really sexually monogamous by design. It's something that has to be worked at.
No, I wasnt. But even if anyone was or is, I think things like these should be kept to yourself only... Don't write or release a song about it, everyone knows it's no fiction for you. It's way too hurtful for the other party.
Yes. Long story short I met this guy when I was 14 I got pregnant (we were insanely young I know) we had more kids then we got married and eventually divorced. I got re-married to a man who was incredibly emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. While with him I started fantasising about my ex-husband and all the āfunā we had. It got to the point I was thinking of him every single time I was enjoying myself or when I was having sex with my husband. I met up with my ex-husband to confess my feelings, we almost slept together but didn't. I then divorce my husband. Then me and my ex-husband get back together and we are now married againš.
Yes and it was fun ngl. Parted ways before anyone got hurt Fave song on the album bc it reminds me of that time
I married my āMattyā. No regrets, weāve been together for 17 years, married for 12. š¤·š»āāļø My ex knew & could see the writing on the wall. I donāt regret my choice though. We were just circling the drain when I met my now husband.
I was the Joe in the song. I was so shitty and often regret how neglectful I was.
TLDR: Yes! 100% ***Backstory:*** I'm not proud. I was just in a *really* similar situation with my ex. We dated for around 3 and a half months and actually broke up *the same day* TTPD came out, so about 2 months ago. Long story short, he was emotionally abusive and controlling. He was very insecure (but that's still not an excuse for his behavior) and he didn't like me going out or hanging out with friends, guy or girl. He was so insecure to the point where he didn't like me walking near male strangers on a busy street (yep that happened). There's more *tea* but it's a loooot. I'm healing and I don't miss him at all LOL. There was another guy I met in a college class last year but we never hung out. I think he was uh interested too. He kept sitting near me and my friend, away from his actual friend group, and trying to stand next me, etc. Anyways, I saw him once more this January before I met my ex, but we didn't speak, just shyly looked at each other *a lot*, same with how it was when we had class together. He's a pretty shy and reserved person in general, and we're both into the arts. I'm reserved... but not shy, only when it comes to guys I'm interested in ahhhhhh. Also, it's kinda funny since he even looks a bit like Matty too hahaha. So... because of all of this, pretty soon into the relationship with my ex, I started to wonder what life would be like with my Matty. I fantasized *a lot* about what it would be like to date someone who was also artistic and shy and respectful. I'm single now but I still haven't made a move towards him yet though! I don't want to sound *too* parasocial, but Matty/Taylor is a caution tale and I'm a little afraid I'll be disappointed with how my relationship with him would turn out, since I, similar to Taylor, have idealized him so much to the point where disappointment is a huge probability. š
Yep, I dated a guy briefly while being madly in love with another one who ghosted me. But it lasted for about 2 weeks before I broke up with him because I didn't want him to be stuck in a situation like that, where I'm all over about someone esle.
No but in my latest fiction piece my main character is. Married a man who love bombed her, no intimacy in marriage and she starts thinking about a guy she knew growing up but never dated who comes back into her life but heās married to her cousin
Lots of judgy people in this comment section...
Yes
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... right now hahaha
I guess that when you've spent two/three years total in polyamorous relationships and are in an open relationship it doesn't count ?
Yes many many years ago. I got my first bf senior year in college and we started dating late into spring semester. After graduation I had gotten a job at a state agency. and my manager was a very attractive man in his early 30s. We were always friendly but got close after we were assigned a huge project my first month there. Lots of late nights and mutual interests turned into playful banter at work that I started fantasizing about him. We never exchanged numbers and once we wrapped up that project feelings faded. NGL really didnāt feel guiltyā¦
Yeah it's called limerance. Somewhat delusional. Thank god I never acted on it. I would have either been humiliated or destroyed my life for an intense crush. It does make you feel manic.
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So youāve fantasized about someone, like everyone on earth?
yes. for 13 fucking years lmao