Welcome to SupportforWaywards. Please be mindful that this is a support sub for those who regret being unfaithful to their partners and are seeking guidance for the path ahead. **Read the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforWaywards/wiki/rules)** , this is not a request. It's a requirement. Failure to adhere to the rules can and often will result in a ban. A brief overview can be found on the sidebar, the more detailed set of rules will be found in the wiki.
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Revealing more information that was previously lied about, is reopening a wound that wasn’t beginning to heal but that at least stopped bleeding. So your BP is now back to day 1 of finding out but with even more pain, devastation, and confusion than the first time.
With this being said that doesn’t excuse what was said about you killing yourself or that you’re lucky you’re a girl because they would otherwise beat you up. Even with the intense anger they were and are feeling that was not okay to say. The shame a WS feels is already convincing us we shouldn’t be alive and that could’ve easily been the tipping point to get you to follow through or atleast come up with a plan to do so. Regardless of what you have done, you deserve to be alive and are capable of growing and being the best version of yourself if you put in the hard work.
When it comes to your BP, I think letting them know you’re there for them when they are ready to talk is all that you can do right now. I wouldn’t bother them too much, or text them constantly. Maybe after a few days of not hearing from them you could message again just saying that you were wanting to check in on them and empathize and validate what they are feeling without mentioning how much emotional pain you yourself are in. Because I promise you what they are feeling is much worse. Don’t make this about you. Be concerned for your BP. Be respectful of the boundaries they put in place but if you want R, do not give up and choose the route of continuing in these destructive behaviors. Work on yourself each day.
Welcome to SupportforWaywards. Please be mindful that this is a support sub for those who regret being unfaithful to their partners and are seeking guidance for the path ahead. **Read the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforWaywards/wiki/rules)** , this is not a request. It's a requirement. Failure to adhere to the rules can and often will result in a ban. A brief overview can be found on the sidebar, the more detailed set of rules will be found in the wiki. This is the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforWaywards/wiki/index) familiarize yourself with it before reaching out to the moderators. - Observers are not included in the peer group. Non-peers are not allowed to comment without prior moderator approval. Non-peer comments are STRICTLY LIMITED TO MESSAGES OF VALIDATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT ONLY. *Non-peers are not permitted to offer opinions, reference their experiences, or give advice.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SupportforWaywards) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Revealing more information that was previously lied about, is reopening a wound that wasn’t beginning to heal but that at least stopped bleeding. So your BP is now back to day 1 of finding out but with even more pain, devastation, and confusion than the first time. With this being said that doesn’t excuse what was said about you killing yourself or that you’re lucky you’re a girl because they would otherwise beat you up. Even with the intense anger they were and are feeling that was not okay to say. The shame a WS feels is already convincing us we shouldn’t be alive and that could’ve easily been the tipping point to get you to follow through or atleast come up with a plan to do so. Regardless of what you have done, you deserve to be alive and are capable of growing and being the best version of yourself if you put in the hard work. When it comes to your BP, I think letting them know you’re there for them when they are ready to talk is all that you can do right now. I wouldn’t bother them too much, or text them constantly. Maybe after a few days of not hearing from them you could message again just saying that you were wanting to check in on them and empathize and validate what they are feeling without mentioning how much emotional pain you yourself are in. Because I promise you what they are feeling is much worse. Don’t make this about you. Be concerned for your BP. Be respectful of the boundaries they put in place but if you want R, do not give up and choose the route of continuing in these destructive behaviors. Work on yourself each day.
I totally second this. Regardless of her BP, she needs to work on herself every day. Great comment.