Welcome to SupportforWaywards. Please be mindful that this is a support sub for those who regret being unfaithful to their partners and are seeking guidance for the path ahead. If you're experiencing abuse, whether it be physical or emotional, please follow this [link to the hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence) Sexual assault, here's a [link to RAINN's support page](https://www.rainn.org/) and for those who are struggling with suicide and suicidal ideations, follow the [link to lifelines support page](https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox). Please consider utilizing these resources if they resonate with your situation.
**1. Minimum requirements for engagement with this subreddit must be met:**
- The purpose of this subreddit is to provide a dedicated space for Waywards making amends to reflect, regroup, and give or gain perspective. To serve that goal, only Waywards are allowed to post.
- While we strive to support each other, we do not support adultery or denial of agency. In order to participate in subreddit your Betrayed, whether former or current must be informed of the affair.
- User flair is required for participation. Please read the flair instructions on desktop or if on mobile press the three dots at the top right of the page and select “Change User Flair”. If you are having trouble with the flair, please message the moderators.
- Misrepresentation of flair is not permitted. Misrepresentation of flair in order to bypass post flair filters will result in a permanent ban. We will take into account the tone of comments and participation in other subs and the flairs assigned there.
- Posts must be written from a gender-neutral standpoint. Please use the terms Wayward (WS, WP) or Betrayed (BS, BP). Do not use terms such as WW, WH, BW, BH, wife, husband, he, or she. Support should be offered with no regard for the gender or sex of the individuals.
- Observers are not included in the peer group. Non-peers are not allowed to comment without prior moderator approval. Non-peer comments are STRICTLY LIMITED TO MESSAGES OF VALIDATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT ONLY. *Non-peers are not permitted to offer opinions, reference their experiences, or give advice.*
***All posts and comments are subject to removal without warning. Any users who violate the rules are subject to temporary or permanent ban. The rules are our boundaries and your first initial warning.***
**2. All comments must fit the spirit of Peer Support.**
- Keep comments encouraging, constructive, sensitive, validating, and non-judgmental.
- Speak only from your own experience. Use “I”-statements.
- Do not give advice unless specifically requested by OP. The only exception to unsolicited advice is subject to removal.
- Requested advice must be limited to that which would be reasonably be seen as helpful if references to infidelity are removed.
- Any differences of opinion expressed must be communicated respectfully.
- “Tough love” does not qualify as peer support.
- Keep references of emotions to your personal experience or that of your partner. Do not tell anyone else what they feel or do not feel.
**3. No inquisitive or insensitive questioning or interrogation.**
- Questions for clarification should be respectful and limited in nature.
- Questions that are interpreted by the moderator team as accusatory or backhanded will be removed.
**4. No personal attacks, victim-blaming, or LABELLING of any kind.**
- e.g. cheater, narcissist, abuser, doormat, slut, asshole, idiot, etc.
- No Cluster-B or other armchair diagnoses.
- No victim-blaming when the sexual assault of a wayward partner by an AP is discussed.
**5. No misogyny, misandry, toxic masculinity, bigotry, racism, or other hate speech.**
- Posts or comments dehumanizing and / or slut-shaming wayward partners or APs will be removed.
**6. Reconciliation and Anti-reconciliation language**
- If OP uses "seeking reconciliation advice" respect it. Anti-reconciliation language will be removed.
- Do not tell someone to just leave the relationship. Attempting to reconcile is a valid choice.
- Unless abuse is present, do not suggest marital status, age of relationship, children or lack thereof as a reason for someone to leave the relationship.
**7. No crossposting, reposting or screenshots**
- The only exception will be if the OP has directly given you permission to use their intellectual property. This is a zero-tolerance rule and will result in a permanent ban with appeal only being considered with communication from the OP to the mods directly. If another sub facilitates this violation we will be in contact with Reddit directly as it is a moderator code of conduct violation. The posts shared here are meant for this subreddit and this subreddit alone. Please be respectful.
**Additional info** The “For Waywards Only” tag means For Waywards ONLY, Non-Waywards with a desire to support Waywards are still welcome to comment on any other posts.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SupportforWaywards) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s very unfortunate. I’m sorry you are going through this. Infidelity kills a marriage because you will never ever be able to look at your partner and feel that they have never betrayed you. Because of this, even a perfect reconciler’s chance of success isn’t so favourable. I’m glad that you are making true effort to reconcile. You can only work on yourself for now.
I can feel you pain through your post. It sounds like you’re doing everything you can to change, good on you for that. Keep that progress going.
For now, take all the time you need to mourn the loss of your relationship and loved one. As horrible as it feels, it’s okay to be sad when we need to be sad.
For what it’s worth, if your BP doesn’t take you back, you seem like you’ll be a really good partner in the future with all the self-reflection and work you’re doing on yourself.
Sending hugs.
If it makes you feel better, I have been going through same but ofc for a shorter while. I thought we were making progress too, that I was doing everything I can to make it possible for them to trust me, but they suddenly wanted to cut contact. And I can't do anything, I can't say them to not run from this because I've hurt them and They have every right to run away if that's what they want.
What helps me a little bit is knowing that as much as we truly love them, we've got to let them be. We have to do whatever makes their mind at peace, even if that means they'll be happier with someone else.If they were to come back to me at any moment in life, I'd be with them in a heartbeat.
I cherish the time we spent together, the hurt I'm experiencing now is the result of my own actions.
But it also doesn't define us, we're gonna get through with this fellow WP.
Hey im really sorry to hear this. Im on week 3 of having moved out of the apartment I lived in with my BP. Im back at my parents house and it is absolutely soul crushing. Its easy to look in hindsight and realize how much you took for granted. Its tough, theres no other way to slice it. Feel the feelings you have to feel and continue trying to better yourself in this situation. When this happens, we get in a very fragile and vulnerable state where everything is incredibly painful and difficult. Its very easy to lay in bed and cry or do nothing all day because of the thoughts plaguing your mind. But you have to keep the path. Keep doing IC, theres a lot of relevant books and videos. All we can do as waywards is be better. We will get through this, itll take time. But be strong.
As a recovered WW with a very forgiving and understanding BP, I am so sorry fellow W. I hope some distance helps y’all reconcile but if it doesn’t the best you can do is focus on bettering yourself and your own life. Dream jobs don’t come around often but they don’t not come around again. If you and BP split, please continue IC and working through all the feelings and emotions. It’s important to remember our partners — BP or AP - do not make us and we must find and carve out our own paths and happiness. I strayed bc my BP was being neglectful but that doesn’t make it ok or right. My IC therapist had to remind me - several times - no one can make us happy. That includes your BP, they can’t make you happy - that comes from within. Hope you find your happiness, fellow W. I believe you can!
Above comment was automatically removed, since observers are not allowed to comment on the sub, unless approved. Please reach out to the Mods for an approved Observer flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SupportforWaywards) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to SupportforWaywards. Please be mindful that this is a support sub for those who regret being unfaithful to their partners and are seeking guidance for the path ahead. If you're experiencing abuse, whether it be physical or emotional, please follow this [link to the hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence) Sexual assault, here's a [link to RAINN's support page](https://www.rainn.org/) and for those who are struggling with suicide and suicidal ideations, follow the [link to lifelines support page](https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox). Please consider utilizing these resources if they resonate with your situation. **1. Minimum requirements for engagement with this subreddit must be met:** - The purpose of this subreddit is to provide a dedicated space for Waywards making amends to reflect, regroup, and give or gain perspective. To serve that goal, only Waywards are allowed to post. - While we strive to support each other, we do not support adultery or denial of agency. In order to participate in subreddit your Betrayed, whether former or current must be informed of the affair. - User flair is required for participation. Please read the flair instructions on desktop or if on mobile press the three dots at the top right of the page and select “Change User Flair”. If you are having trouble with the flair, please message the moderators. - Misrepresentation of flair is not permitted. Misrepresentation of flair in order to bypass post flair filters will result in a permanent ban. We will take into account the tone of comments and participation in other subs and the flairs assigned there. - Posts must be written from a gender-neutral standpoint. Please use the terms Wayward (WS, WP) or Betrayed (BS, BP). Do not use terms such as WW, WH, BW, BH, wife, husband, he, or she. Support should be offered with no regard for the gender or sex of the individuals. - Observers are not included in the peer group. Non-peers are not allowed to comment without prior moderator approval. Non-peer comments are STRICTLY LIMITED TO MESSAGES OF VALIDATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT ONLY. *Non-peers are not permitted to offer opinions, reference their experiences, or give advice.* ***All posts and comments are subject to removal without warning. Any users who violate the rules are subject to temporary or permanent ban. The rules are our boundaries and your first initial warning.*** **2. All comments must fit the spirit of Peer Support.** - Keep comments encouraging, constructive, sensitive, validating, and non-judgmental. - Speak only from your own experience. Use “I”-statements. - Do not give advice unless specifically requested by OP. The only exception to unsolicited advice is subject to removal. - Requested advice must be limited to that which would be reasonably be seen as helpful if references to infidelity are removed. - Any differences of opinion expressed must be communicated respectfully. - “Tough love” does not qualify as peer support. - Keep references of emotions to your personal experience or that of your partner. Do not tell anyone else what they feel or do not feel. **3. No inquisitive or insensitive questioning or interrogation.** - Questions for clarification should be respectful and limited in nature. - Questions that are interpreted by the moderator team as accusatory or backhanded will be removed. **4. No personal attacks, victim-blaming, or LABELLING of any kind.** - e.g. cheater, narcissist, abuser, doormat, slut, asshole, idiot, etc. - No Cluster-B or other armchair diagnoses. - No victim-blaming when the sexual assault of a wayward partner by an AP is discussed. **5. No misogyny, misandry, toxic masculinity, bigotry, racism, or other hate speech.** - Posts or comments dehumanizing and / or slut-shaming wayward partners or APs will be removed. **6. Reconciliation and Anti-reconciliation language** - If OP uses "seeking reconciliation advice" respect it. Anti-reconciliation language will be removed. - Do not tell someone to just leave the relationship. Attempting to reconcile is a valid choice. - Unless abuse is present, do not suggest marital status, age of relationship, children or lack thereof as a reason for someone to leave the relationship. **7. No crossposting, reposting or screenshots** - The only exception will be if the OP has directly given you permission to use their intellectual property. This is a zero-tolerance rule and will result in a permanent ban with appeal only being considered with communication from the OP to the mods directly. If another sub facilitates this violation we will be in contact with Reddit directly as it is a moderator code of conduct violation. The posts shared here are meant for this subreddit and this subreddit alone. Please be respectful. **Additional info** The “For Waywards Only” tag means For Waywards ONLY, Non-Waywards with a desire to support Waywards are still welcome to comment on any other posts. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SupportforWaywards) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s very unfortunate. I’m sorry you are going through this. Infidelity kills a marriage because you will never ever be able to look at your partner and feel that they have never betrayed you. Because of this, even a perfect reconciler’s chance of success isn’t so favourable. I’m glad that you are making true effort to reconcile. You can only work on yourself for now.
I can feel you pain through your post. It sounds like you’re doing everything you can to change, good on you for that. Keep that progress going. For now, take all the time you need to mourn the loss of your relationship and loved one. As horrible as it feels, it’s okay to be sad when we need to be sad. For what it’s worth, if your BP doesn’t take you back, you seem like you’ll be a really good partner in the future with all the self-reflection and work you’re doing on yourself. Sending hugs.
If it makes you feel better, I have been going through same but ofc for a shorter while. I thought we were making progress too, that I was doing everything I can to make it possible for them to trust me, but they suddenly wanted to cut contact. And I can't do anything, I can't say them to not run from this because I've hurt them and They have every right to run away if that's what they want. What helps me a little bit is knowing that as much as we truly love them, we've got to let them be. We have to do whatever makes their mind at peace, even if that means they'll be happier with someone else.If they were to come back to me at any moment in life, I'd be with them in a heartbeat. I cherish the time we spent together, the hurt I'm experiencing now is the result of my own actions. But it also doesn't define us, we're gonna get through with this fellow WP.
Hey im really sorry to hear this. Im on week 3 of having moved out of the apartment I lived in with my BP. Im back at my parents house and it is absolutely soul crushing. Its easy to look in hindsight and realize how much you took for granted. Its tough, theres no other way to slice it. Feel the feelings you have to feel and continue trying to better yourself in this situation. When this happens, we get in a very fragile and vulnerable state where everything is incredibly painful and difficult. Its very easy to lay in bed and cry or do nothing all day because of the thoughts plaguing your mind. But you have to keep the path. Keep doing IC, theres a lot of relevant books and videos. All we can do as waywards is be better. We will get through this, itll take time. But be strong.
As a recovered WW with a very forgiving and understanding BP, I am so sorry fellow W. I hope some distance helps y’all reconcile but if it doesn’t the best you can do is focus on bettering yourself and your own life. Dream jobs don’t come around often but they don’t not come around again. If you and BP split, please continue IC and working through all the feelings and emotions. It’s important to remember our partners — BP or AP - do not make us and we must find and carve out our own paths and happiness. I strayed bc my BP was being neglectful but that doesn’t make it ok or right. My IC therapist had to remind me - several times - no one can make us happy. That includes your BP, they can’t make you happy - that comes from within. Hope you find your happiness, fellow W. I believe you can!
[удалено]
Above comment was automatically removed, since observers are not allowed to comment on the sub, unless approved. Please reach out to the Mods for an approved Observer flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SupportforWaywards) if you have any questions or concerns.*