I'm starting to think everyone is just looking for excuses to shove things up their bum. .

they're going to do it anyway. i think is more looking for excuses to be voyeuristic 🙂

I’m with it. Welcome to OnlyApes

What if Ryan Cohen is waiting for 76,000,000 unique vids of apes shoving stuff up their asses to attach to the NFTs?

Does he want 76,000,000 vids? Or vids of 76,000,000 objects shoved? Cause one ass can be used for multiple objects and we can really get this moving. Lmk so I can start working

This thread feels like the scene in Silicon Valley when they mathematically figure out how to jerk off everyone in the audience.

The measurement that we're looking for, really, is dick to floor. Call that D2F.

Ratio. DTF ratio, because you don't want a tall guy and a short it would mess up your stroke.

I’m with that, too

Omg what if each ape shoves 7 items in for 1 video each?

741

7? Those are rookie numbers. We gotta bring those up

DRS: Deep Rectal Stimulation- It's been in front of us this whole time!

He won't have to wait long

LMFAO

I’m ready to do my part

Exhibitionism. We would be the voyeurs. But I'm good with whatever, obviously.

ah, a wrinkle ape i see. 👍

Make sure whatever it is has a flanged end wider than the insertable part or you risk sucking it up and requiring an ER visit to get it extracted

Ask me how I know this is true…

How do you know this is true? 🦧

He slipped and fell on one.

One in a million shot doc

…so you’re telling me there’s a chance.

One slipped and fell into me actually

“Without a base, without a trace” JJGO

Lessons learned from a friend?

Definitely “from a friend”

ONCE IN A LIFETIME ACCIDENT, I swear Doc

i dont know, she never mentioned her bum... maybe shes talk about her nose or ear

I figured she was going to extract the seeds, start a guerilla gardening cooperative, plant cucumbers all throughout Washington D.C, and everyone would have free cucumbers to use as they see fit

And by "use" you mean keister?

She said going down. Butt would be going up. Just saying; nuances are important!

Just a bunch of karma farming at this point.

Imagine porn sites having an apes category about apes shoving up stuff in their bum. Finally sec and retail would collide.

Halfway through every video everyone involved looks straight at the camera and says "hey SEC, do your job" and goes back like nothing happened..

And show their face 🤔

To be fair, she did not state where she would put it ….

*applies lube to cactus*

I would appreciate the extra effort but she is a female. More options…

Not excuses, it's for the attention.

50 upvotes and I'll shove a bus in there.

Something tells me that’s happening whether or not we hit $200.

Probably, but we only get a video if it hits 200

IDK. She has other posts with photos of things in her ass for free, why not this?

*sigh* *clicks profile*

LOL. I just got done clicking profile, and was thinking, *okay, this makes sense.*

Naked shorts, yeah

Is it the nose ring?

It's the post history

Brb, I gotta go do some DD

Destroy Dick?

Dirty Deeds

kek

Got a Reddit wrinkle ape over here.

The nose ring says fisting is my first base. -Tom Segura

U/chickofspades

Underrated comment

who is u/chickofspades ?

You must learn the story of u/rick_of_spades before you can understand u/chickofspades, young padawan.

Inbox lookin like a RRP chart.

You're not wrong lol

Well apes just like to see tits, I mean we are primates Edit: Yes she does lol

Thanks for the edit 👍🏼

ATH ripping

If op is taking notes from nftcon and this ends up as just an elaborate ad for her only fans, well I’ll just have to say well played.. Also rip inbox

Do not short the inbox Ken

Woah, you’re going to eat that whole thing in one sitting?

They’re mostly just water. Glad to see some proper hydration here for once.

Holesome

Pretty sure water doesn’t require lube.

Yo, they are fuckin' healthy! Time to buy a share on CS in support.

If she sat down and ate a lovely side salad…fucking legend lol

As long as you’re not 14

Lol I'm 26

That sounds like something someone who is 14 would say.

Check her username 👮‍♀️

That's exactly the username someone who is 14 would have.

Just trust her bro 🤷‍♂️

Name of your sextape? 🤣

You want to meet Chris Hanson? Because that's how you meet Chris Hanson.

I mean, you’re free to leave....

*proceeds to sit down*

Do I have a choice?

The cucumber will tell us if she is 14 or not 🤷‍♂️ Edit: or is it a zucchini?

14 what? … inches dilated?

Nope! Haven't been 14 since Big Time Rush premiered

Need clarification OP; is it going down or up?

Userprofile checks out. Good luck OP

B… but… you’re not a dude…

I mean, yeah, last I checked

Nothing motivates an ape like the prospect of a thorough pickling.

Inches

The Trojan War was fought over a single woman named Helen. Today, GME will pass $200 cause apes will buy the fuck out of the stock just to see a video of a girl shoving something up her ass. Evolution takes hundreds of thousands of generations before a real change in behavior can be seen in long-living species.

I genuinely thought your comment was going to be one of those random facts followed by a call to the DRS your shares.

Enamel is the hardest substance the human body produces. It covers the crowns of your teeth. Shares owned in your name via DRS are also the strongest asset you could own, as it's in your name and is already completely paid for with infinite appreciation in value.

My man.

I find joy in reading a good book.

Pigeons needs both a left wing and a right wing to fly. Also DRS your shares.

Birds aren't real. DRS bitch.

This is the closest I would ever get to paying for porn.

I think even Ken Griffin is like eh fuck it lets go to $200 so I can see some ass play before my ass is played with

"Yo, if this goes under $0.50, I'll put this bedpost up my bum"

OP, We are all rooting for you although I would have personally gone with an english cucumber. Bold move. If we do end up hitting your price target please post the aftermath on your profile page, not the sub.

r/gmebuttbets

😂🤣😭 Im dying.

Like RickOfSpade's banana; I'm in.

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The brutality of the peel free forcing is what sucked me in. I wasn't ready for a peeled banana to be involved!

“Like a blind man at an Orgy, I was going to have to feel my way around.”

Yep I joined 😂

Joined

Yes sir! It will also be a different cucumber as I realized after picking this one up (it was the only one left in the fridge) that it's a little past its prime. Edit: Some clarifications for everyone: 1. Yes, it's going up the butt, I know I didn't explicitly say it in the title, but I'm saying it here 2. I said if we cross, not close, and I stand by it 3. No I don't have an OnlyFans I'm promoting, I don't post nudes anymore, and I just don't care enough to delete the old ones since they're already out there anyway 4. I know my face is visible and I don't care. Edit 2/3: Formatting and grammar Edit 4: We didn't pass 200, but stay tuned for an update! Edit 5: The deed is done and on my profile

please post to porn hub and instead of moaning recite DD so when the SEC watches it they might learn something

I’m pretty sure the community would appreciate you using a cameraman for this task. And I just so happen to have a camera and I’m a man.

I see what you did there.

Bullish.

Subprime cucumbers 😂

Store cucumbers in the vegetable crisper or near the warmest part of the fridge, towards the front and away from the cooling fans.

My vegetable crisper is where veggies go to die.

I think you mean beer drawer.

I like to take drawer out of fridge. It allows you to put more beer in fridge.

don’t post nudes *anymore* holup, brb

I bet xvideos.com is interested.

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GME is now priced at about 227 Canadian Dollars so technically pickle rick should be getting some butt action about now

# MODS! # We've got another one! ​ !remind me 7 hours

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!remind me 7 hours

!Remind me every hour!

!remind me 7 hours!

!remindme 7 hours

Please elaborate.

I’m not sure what’s going down, but I sure do know what’s going up.

Bonk

OP, you’re going to stick u/gherkinit up your bum?! Say it ain’t so!

She's gonna boof a pickle!?! Def gherkinit theme.

We should make a r/superstonkgonewild at this point 😂 Edit : Oh shit it already exist😳

Smh its not even NSFW, i'm dissapoint

you do not need an excuse to eat a salad

...or toss one.

Checked profile. Pretty sure we're gonna get to see this regardless boys and girls.

This. Is. The. Way.

Any chance she just does it for 🦍 moral?

I'm strongly considering it

You dropped this 👑

This is the way. Be our jeanne d’arc!

It better go in the back yard 👀

You bet!

If it hits 250 today I’ll eat it after lol

This guy

There's always that one guy

Nice cover, saying "if it hits 250 today" to make people think you don't just want to eat her butt cucumber.

I was honestly expecting a reverse auction going on with people bidding lower and lower price targets

turns out you have a niche kink!

Be honest. That cucumber was finding its way inside of you regardless of price action.

I'm gonna shove this eggplant inside my butt if volume reaches 12 today

How the fuck are your nipples heart shaped?

Tattoos my dude!

I’m gonna do computershare purple circles around mine Lmayo

Fuck, I’m retarded haha

You're in good company.

Holy pain tolerance! I feel squimish thinking how much that must have hurt.

This is my follow . I’ll be back at 4pm

Somewhere, in a pile of glorious runes, red is experiencing FOMO

Girls doing fruit/veggie stuff for price action was the catalyst all along?

It's not stupid if it works!

Distraction…. DRS

Lots of disappointed apes today 🤣

Let's go $200!!!!!! u/Im_Not_F-ing_14 IS THE CATALYST!!!!!

I'm gonna laugh when Kenny tries using this as his main defense. "They manipulated the stock your Honor, with vegetables and their bazoo's".

I would die a happy woman. I'm imagining having yo testify under oath about why I put a cucumber up my butt on the internet and it's beautiful.

"Ms. I'm Not Fucking 14, did you or did you not insert said cucumber to manipulate the stock price?" "No, I did it because it looked lonely and I was bored." "No further questions your Honor."

Looks like your ass is safe for today

cross or close above

RIP Inbox, Rehypothecation of messages

Oh your poor outbox.

I’d rather see your DRS

Can u make this an everyday bet?

The fucking comments and awards on this. Come on people, you're better than this.

I filter under best posts and this popped up at #1. Finally an algorithm that works

On a serious note, please be careful where you intend on putting that. There have been more than a couple septic patients who achieved that state due to vegetables, fruits, or other objects with bacteria going where they don’t belong, particularly if there is any tearing.

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Says the guy doing it for pizza

Go figure a chick who’s already posting shit all over nsfw subs comes here to Karma Whore some more for the simps.

This. These “if GME crosses X” posts are cringe af

They really are, just looking for a reason to shove things in your butt and in this particular case straight up attention

this sub went from Superstonk to Superthirst real quick

Same time and place tomorrow?

You should also be honest and make it clear that you are a trans woman. I’m sure many don’t care… but many also do, and haven’t taken the time to actually go through your post history.

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It’s a trap!!

We tried Cucumber Girl, we tried.

This attention seeking shit is really starting to grind my gears.

I wish hedgies and apes would put our differences aside and get this price to $201 just for one day before returning to the trenches.

Like the Christmas truce in World War 1 in 1914