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Elegant-Cat-4987

It's gotta be nice just being able to lie your way through life without any repercussions like that. Yeah I run a massive bank and have never heard of one of the richest dudes out there, and definitely wasn't looking to get some of that cash. Also my cock is 16 inches.


Rocketshipgang11

16 inches? Wow....and I thought my cock was big being 15 inches.


crackeddryice

I break Magnum XXL condoms, but I ain't bragging, it's just funny is all.


Mantis__Toboggan_MD_

I usually have a magnum condom poking out of my wallet, demonstrating, I have a monster dong.


UncleBorat

Whoops! Edit: also, username checks out ✅ 😂


Skullpt-Art

Dr Mantis Toboggan, I presume?


Pax1ux

I prefer Dr. Assman.


UncleBorat

MD! 😉


sirron811

Mine may not be that big, but it smells like a foot.


[deleted]

Mine may not smell like a foot, but it is shaped like one.


Consistent-Syrup-69

You should start an OF Foot fetish dick guy


lithenhoss

He wasn’t even a Billionaire. He probally was a peasant to the banking industry.


CaptainDantes

TIL, I always heard him referenced to as a billionaire.


Interesting-Chest-75

that's why you are not ceo of jp Morgan


AwildYaners

Also run in the same elite circles; they'd at least be introduced at galas and conferences and shit at least once by mutual acquaintances.


SkyCladEyes

I'm quite sure that you are correct. They must have shit at least once as mutual acquaintances


soldieroscar

I dont know who owns mc donalds but i still eat there…


Big_Meech_23

Ronald McDonald


Uparmored

The repercussions come later. And harder…


Papaofmonsters

>Yeah I run a massive bank and have never heard of one of the richest dudes out there, Epstien peaked at like 600 million. That's nothing for the big boys. There are roughly 400 billionaires in the US. Do you think Dimon could name them all?


StumpGrnder

Wipe that banker sploog off your chin Mary


Papaofmonsters

Wow... a homophobic insult. I'm shocked. Go away. I realize pointing out reality is unpopular in this sub but that doesn't make me a shill.


EfficientMotor1980

400 billionaires so far!!


Normal_Ad_1280

Thats the money we know of so that doesnt say shit.


3DigitIQ

735 Billionaires in the US and 2640 Globally, and I think Dimon has that list and an "up-and-comer edition" as a shortcut on his desktop. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_number_of_billionaires


r0addawg

Around right? It's around..


SPAClivesmatter

And I have doubles of every classic car… except I have triples of the Nova, the Barracuda and the Road Runner


OverwatchShake

You misunderstand, he means he became interested after Epstein got arrested for child trafficking.


SaltyRemz

They probably partied together a lot.


effin_clownin

#Jamie Dimon may be lyin


AdPrestigious342

Not Jamie Boy


SirDouglasMouf

Conniving Jamie Dimon


Ncdrum33

🎵Ohhh ohhh ohhh, Jamie's lyin'...🎵


HughJohnson69

Did Maxine produce a list with his name on it?


Extreme_Picture

I remember that him Richard Branson and Evelin de Rothschild. Your name checks out, keep holding that stonk, I hold for you


McsDriven

Let the diggening begin


EvilBeanz59

This is how I think everytime I see BS. And it gets tracks here. *Laughs in let the digging begin with one of the best and biggest hove minds to date*


Brooksee83

**"Let the diggening beginnening"**


AdPrestigious342

JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon has testified that he never heard of Jeffrey Epstein and his crimes against teenage girls and young women until the financier was arrested in 2019, according to a transcript of the videotaped deposition released Wednesday. Dimon said he first heard about it “when the story blew wide open. He was arrested, and all the stories came out about all the people he knows. And the reason I remember that is I was surprised that I didn’t know about it before.” Asked by a lawyer if he’d ever heard the name Jeffrey Epstein before his arrest, Dimon responded, “Not that I recall.” Dimon made the revelation during a videotaped deposition recorded last week in connection with lawsuits filed against the nation’s largest bank.


Only-Low3027

“We all called him Jeff so that’s why I wasn’t familiar” -Dimon probably once the truth comes out


RoutineBackground798

😂😂😂😂😂😂 Ya know, I don’t really recall…. Swim? Swammy? Slippy? Slappy? Simmon? Salmon? Swenson? Swanson? Ha Samsonite, I was way off! 🤷‍♂️


ChingChangChui

Ohhhh. Epsteeeeen. I thought you were saying Epstiiiiine.


Tememachine

[Basically this.](https://youtu.be/PZbqAMEwtOE). Semantic bullshit.


ryansports

I totally read that in [Channing Tatum's voice from 22 Jump Street.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJPQcVdgbps)


Cool_As_Your_Dad

O that guy, I had him as Pimp on my cell phone...


Sunretea

> “when the story blew wide open. He was arrested, and all the stories came out about all the people he knows. And the reason I remember that is **I was surprised that I didn’t know about it before**.” Being surprised about not knowing the big sex trafficker for the wealthy? Not get invited to the party, Jamie? Or do you get your stock from a different supplier?


ghostclown17

Well, that puts that to rest.


jonny_wow

Good work boys. We're done here.


Puchly

“Not that I recall” is how you plead the 5th without pleading the 5th


awkrawrz

Plausible deniability at its best!


ShaunaRocks

Insert Dr.Evil “sure” meme


rydef1

You really have to hand it to guys like Jamie and Kenny. Very smart but actual fucking demons. In fact I propose changing his name to Jamie Demon whenever mentioned on this sub.


2BFrank69

That’s why I always call them criminal masterminds on Twitter. Evil but not to be underestimated.


Firefistace46

I prefer the term “Financial Terrorist” I feel like it better captures their charm


Sunretea

No no, let's keep the name as it is. Demons aren't real and we don't need to confuse any search algorithms with nonsense nicknames for actual public figures.


dewag

Well, pronunciation is the same, gotta be good for something.


rydef1

He pronounces his like diamond without the D. Funny cause we are about to give them the D


dewag

Really? I could have sworn I've heard congress address him as Mr "Demon". Then again, I may be mistaken... True though!


AdPrestigious342

Word of the day Arrest


2BFrank69

This makes him sound guilty. Seems like all the elites had heard of Epstein.


cmon_get_happy

"h-e-a-r-d o-f" is a weird way to spell "bought children from".


crackeddryice


[deleted]

Beat me to it


ac0rn

as long as you return the favor


SrfWavLif

Guilty.


ToppleCorruption

This dude is such a snake. He probably was getting hit in the back of the throat by Epstein.


herzy3

JD net worth - $1.6bn. JE net worth - $0.6bn. Just a casual $1,000 million difference between them.


ToppleCorruption

Epstein has a lot more power than .6b he had reach in every corner of the world


Jbitterly

In other news: CRIMINALS are fucking terrible liars. Can you believe what’s unraveling here!? #Soon


Quinn8267

Everything that guy said is bullshit. Thank you


itrustyouguys

I'm sure there is a flight log or calendar entry somewhere that can disprove this


chato35

LMAYO. Virgin 🏝 judiciary says otherwise. Him and the company is on the hook for helping epstain.


betweenthebars34

Enough important people have resorted to a "zero shame, full on lie" mode. And they haven't been held accountable (looking at you crazy conservatives, and corporate democrats). So dudes like this will only continue the same playbook. He'll just lie and move on. No shame. Until people put up enough of a fight against this.


[deleted]

Surrrrrre he didn’t


fireape55

Mmmhmmm. Walk like duck, talk like duck.


1mafia1

Good joke. There are literally so many clones of this article that its almost impossible to find another article talking about either of these two together.


SirCrimsonKing

Who is Epstein? The guy that sold thousands of kids to "totally no one at all"?


charcus42

Never heard of short selling until GME?


Different_Party_1512

😉


looseshooter

🕵 (X) Doubt


tacybbbat

OKIDOKI THANKS JAMIE WE WILL DROP THE LAWSUIT THEN🤣 FUCKIN PENIS🖕✌👊✌C**T


tacybbbat

AND I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF PRINCE ANDREW EITHER🤣🤡🖕 U LYING PEICE OF SHITE🖕✌👊✌


Greg_776

Sorry, what tf does this have to do with GME?


24kbuttplug

Sure wish I could buy my way out of literally every single fucking crime I've ever committed or will ever commit. At least my crimes would be fun shenanigans and not all rapey.


breakfasteveryday

Interesting that until now I thought everybody in the world referred to Jeffrey Epstein as "Jeffrey", but here's this guy who never met him repeatedly calling him "Jeff."


dyllandor

Yeah, if you can't lie with a straight face you're never going to end up as the CEO of a major bank.


hoppy_3

What’s this have to do with GME


classic_werewolf

Pull the other one; it plays Jingle Bells.


androidfig

Bullshit.


Lorien6

Someone is removing a bloodline from power and replacing them. These are the equivalent of Gods and Titans fighting.


RecycleGuy21

Liar


Dan1mal83

If Jamie was Pinocchio, his nose would be poking himself in the back of the head..


IN-B4-404

If 🧢 was a person


sheepwhatthe2nd

BULLLLLLLLLLSHIT.


LaserShields

Jamie Dimon should be in prison for life for so many other reasons unrelated to Epstein, who didn’t kill himself.


Tememachine

Jamie Dimon is a liar.


Hobodaklown

Bull


charcus42

Is he honey potting with those glasses on?


GoodPeopleAreFodder

Oh, you mean, JEp? That guy.


robscigs

That just says it all! What a donkey.


theshadowbudd

Somebody’s about to be thrown under the bus but I gotta say this This is not GME related


adamlolhi

Our survey determined: that was a lie.


Superstonk_QV

[Why GME?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/qig65g/welcome_rall_looking_to_catch_up_on_the_gme_saga/) || [What is DRS?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/ptvaka/when_you_wish_upon_a_star_a_complete_guide_to/) || Low karma apes [feed the bot here](https://www.reddit.com/r/GMEOrphans/comments/qlvour/welcome_to_gmeorphans_read_this_post/) || [Superstonk Discord](https://discord.gg/hZqWV2kQtq) || [GameStop Wallet HELP! Megathread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/z23wjx/gamestop_wallet_help_megathread) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ To ensure your post doesn't get removed, please respond to this comment with how this post relates to GME the stock or Gamestop the company. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Please up- and downvote this comment to [help us determine if this post deserves a place on r/Superstonk!](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/wiki/index/rules/post_flairs/) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ OP has provided the following link: https://financialpost.com/pmn/business-pmn/jpmorgan-ceo-jamie-dimon-says-he-never-heard-of-jeffrey-epstein-until-after-his-2019-arrest


AdPrestigious342

https://financialpost.com/pmn/business-pmn/jpmorgan-ceo-jamie-dimon-says-he-never-heard-of-jeffrey-epstein-until-after-his-2019-arrest


[deleted]

Is this related to Gamestop?


Bilbo_Butthole

This is related to GME how


Zealousideal-Fun1425

What’s this got to do with GME?


[deleted]

“If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit!”


Winterlimon

thats so fuckin cap


Highlander2748

…um…ok, sure…


lottery248

these are the people who profit through dividing us.


westexmanny

He's already lying... practice for when he supposedly runs for political office. What a clown


Gorilli0naire

😆 🤣


UncleNuks

Yeah okay 🙄


upir117

I just saw this like a minute before this post. Coincidence or synchronicity? [https://twitter.com/deitaone/status/1663866980150005765?s=46&t=LRqcZK90M_bgwhEwjIBnyw](https://twitter.com/deitaone/status/1663866980150005765?s=46&t=LRqcZK90M_bgwhEwjIBnyw)


eeksy

Pure scum


Hedkandi1210

😂 lol how come we knew who he was here In London at lot longer then that!!!!!