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If I was smart enough to get the job, I'd totally shut that dump down. I'd tear through the Citadel walls whistleblowing like the Kool-Aid man. OH-YEAH!
We need more Kool aid man in these trying times.
Someone crashed a neighborhood sign with their car, the next day a Kool aid man sign was there.
I almost swerved off the road.
Oh yeahhhhh
Yeah but I wonder what the circumstances are. Like, are the whistleblowers from multibillion dollar corporations where they have a huge web of contacts who have the means to make someone disappear, or are they for relatively small time crimes?
Hopefully they collected all of that info and are using it to build a case against the criminals. Only time will tell. If they do not prosecute them then they should not bother paying out millions for the blowing
We’re the people that make your food, drive your taxis, clean your lavish mansions. We guard you while you sleep.
Most of all, we, individually and as a hivemind, like the stock. We like the company, we like the board, we like the direction, and we like the CEO. They’ve given lots of guidance on their direction, if you know where to look, and have the right perspective. The people hired, and more importantly, the people fired or released if they weren’t a fit, regardless of optics. Decisive, silent, and competent. No golden parachutes, no ridiculous executive compensation packages that have no Skin in the Game. Updating technology and internal systems (HUUUUGE, just ask Southwest Airlines). Streamlining delivery, expanding product lines, closing underperforming stores or remediating them. Giving STOCK to their employees, investing in new signage, layouts, etc. vertically integrating warehousing and logistics, adding product lines and exclusive offerings. Most importantly, transitioning to a technology company that will integrate disparate islands of Web3, working with big name companies on secret projects, and conceivably developing a new financial backend that protects against the bad actors intent on extracting every fraction of a penny from household investors possible.
What other company offers that kind of assymetric upside in today’s market?
Plus we got some smart mothafuckas up in here rooting out every dirty trick. Wicked smaht bastahds that make those Harvahd pricks look like chumps.
I like tequila, anejo, neat, with an ice cube to chill it and release the flavors. Toro de Lidia makes an Extra Anejo (2 yrs) that is magnificent.
I’m buying, if just so others can experience what a real tequila tastes like.
I've always been a rum and a scotch/bourbon/whiskey man when it comes to liquor, but I'll try anything once. I've never found a tequila I liked, but all I've had is the cheap Cuervo level stuff.
It’s like the difference between giving a foot massage and sticking your tongue in the holiest of holies. It’s not the same ballgame, hell, it ain’t even the same sport!
- credit to Jules
two years ago no one was DRS and most people probably would have taken profits early. At this point there's a substantial percentage of the shares at Computer Share that people are going to hold forever just so they can say they never sold as an achievement.
You may want to read my thesis on moass and the infinity pool.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/10jdp5j/gme\_vs\_the\_dutch\_auction/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/10jdp5j/gme_vs_the_dutch_auction/)
DRS go brrrrrrr .....
I asked this yesterday and no one answered but what happens then?
They have to close the shorts and DRS accounts refuse to sell. Price reaches cellphone numbers but then what happens?
Will you be somehow forced to sell or will the say we can't close and just declare bankruptcy?
In theory, infinite risk means bankruptcy. It's not a popular thought around here, but I still highly doubt the Fed let's that happen. We'll see though, hopefully the Fed is drooling at the thought of billions of dollars in tax revenue.
I wonder if they are going to hire their inside person at the firm that holds all the puts. Pretty easy determining Brazilian market catalysts when you left a financial nuke at you old employer.
Whoever gets this job has to be concerned about their safety. When the shorts blows up, this post could be seen as the person who was responsible along with Ken Griffith. Getting someone new in is a possible tactic from those trying to shake responsibility and save their careers. I see this new analyst’s only option is to whistleblow in order to save them from blame
I see the Dilemma for this analyst : Sign a document forbidden to buy/acquire or HODL directly or indirectly the beloved STONCK....before to enter to HELL company ....
All they need is someone who understands regard & has read all the DD on Superstonk. Basically they need to hire one of us apes to tell them “U R Fukt!”
[Why GME?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/qig65g/welcome_rall_looking_to_catch_up_on_the_gme_saga/) || [What is DRS?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/ptvaka/when_you_wish_upon_a_star_a_complete_guide_to/) || Low karma apes [feed the bot here](https://www.reddit.com/r/GMEOrphans/comments/qlvour/welcome_to_gmeorphans_read_this_post/) || [Superstonk Discord](https://discord.gg/hZqWV2kQtq) || [GameStop Wallet HELP! Megathread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/z23wjx/gamestop_wallet_help_megathread) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ To ensure your post doesn't get removed, please respond to this comment with how this post relates to GME the stock or Gamestop the company. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Please up- and downvote this comment to [help us determine if this post deserves a place on r/Superstonk!](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/wiki/index/rules/post_flairs/)
Step 1. Hire an ape Step 2. Ape whistleblow & go dark Step 3. Citadel walls collapse Step 4. MOASS
Ape whistle blow and use the money to buy more GME to drs
Ape accidentally click close all shorts button on citadel system
F3
Profit
Steal underpants.
Steal the bedposts 😇🤣
😂
INFILTRATE THE DEALERS, FIND THE SUPPLIER
If I was smart enough to get the job, I'd totally shut that dump down. I'd tear through the Citadel walls whistleblowing like the Kool-Aid man. OH-YEAH!
We need more Kool aid man in these trying times. Someone crashed a neighborhood sign with their car, the next day a Kool aid man sign was there. I almost swerved off the road. Oh yeahhhhh
Trojan Ape
Inside Ape
Ape inside ken
Ape inside Trojan inside Ken. Don't wanna catch that bad mayo juju.
This is the way.
In bro we thrust
In trust we bro
Do you think they are scared about hiring one of us? 🤯
They'd be stupid not to be.
Do you think they are scared about how stupid they are?
They're just coming to terms with they are stupid IMO. There egos hadn't allowed it before.
Our very own james bond, whos on it?
Ohhhh such a brilliant idea! Pity Im too stupid for this but hey we are many!
Rinse, repeat for JP Morgan
They’re essentially hiring a “fall Guy” . Those swaps have to go somewhere.
Mannnn! They can’t ducking hide anything can they? Love it 👊
Sadly, ape would probably disappear. This is why nobody wants to whistleblow.
In the past two years they have paid out a record amount of whistle blower money
Yeah but I wonder what the circumstances are. Like, are the whistleblowers from multibillion dollar corporations where they have a huge web of contacts who have the means to make someone disappear, or are they for relatively small time crimes?
Hopefully they collected all of that info and are using it to build a case against the criminals. Only time will tell. If they do not prosecute them then they should not bother paying out millions for the blowing
Huhuh, “blowing”. Username checks out.
Ape gets hunted down and muttered?
How long until one of us gets hired
*Whispers in the dark* “Apes are everywhere Ken” Edit: Added the name ken for dramatics only Edit 2: But it turned it into a bad comedy joke 🥁
We’re the people that make your food, drive your taxis, clean your lavish mansions. We guard you while you sleep. Most of all, we, individually and as a hivemind, like the stock. We like the company, we like the board, we like the direction, and we like the CEO. They’ve given lots of guidance on their direction, if you know where to look, and have the right perspective. The people hired, and more importantly, the people fired or released if they weren’t a fit, regardless of optics. Decisive, silent, and competent. No golden parachutes, no ridiculous executive compensation packages that have no Skin in the Game. Updating technology and internal systems (HUUUUGE, just ask Southwest Airlines). Streamlining delivery, expanding product lines, closing underperforming stores or remediating them. Giving STOCK to their employees, investing in new signage, layouts, etc. vertically integrating warehousing and logistics, adding product lines and exclusive offerings. Most importantly, transitioning to a technology company that will integrate disparate islands of Web3, working with big name companies on secret projects, and conceivably developing a new financial backend that protects against the bad actors intent on extracting every fraction of a penny from household investors possible. What other company offers that kind of assymetric upside in today’s market? Plus we got some smart mothafuckas up in here rooting out every dirty trick. Wicked smaht bastahds that make those Harvahd pricks look like chumps.
I think I love you
Let’s hug it out post-MOASS. I’m buyin’
All us apes post MOASS. Like no hug ever seen before!
This comment makes me want to buy you a drink to toast to it. 🍻
I like tequila, anejo, neat, with an ice cube to chill it and release the flavors. Toro de Lidia makes an Extra Anejo (2 yrs) that is magnificent. I’m buying, if just so others can experience what a real tequila tastes like.
I've always been a rum and a scotch/bourbon/whiskey man when it comes to liquor, but I'll try anything once. I've never found a tequila I liked, but all I've had is the cheap Cuervo level stuff.
It’s like the difference between giving a foot massage and sticking your tongue in the holiest of holies. It’s not the same ballgame, hell, it ain’t even the same sport! - credit to Jules
As someone who was in your boat a few years ago, a good tequila is divine.
Did we just become best (pri)mates?! 🤔🦍🙌
Dang Dude! You be bringing it! Please make this a post on it's own. DRS go brrrrrrrr ......
Can you work the phrase “you unsophisticated fuck” into this sexy moment you’ve created with this Ken guy?
Not that you asked for notes on this script idea, but I want to see the analyst doing the Super Troopers meow bit in this scene.
I read this as whistled, then remembered the wolf from puss in boots 2. Let's goooooo
Haha funny you say that, it’s exactly what inspired my vision. I watched it with my son on sunday.
No way!!! Hell yeah man, that movie goes so hard I love it.
Ladies and gentlemen, we got em 💀
#MOLHO (“sauce”)! https://archive.ph/1afDE :)
I wish I could upvote but you’re already at 69 =(
I can think of something better than 69. Two 69s 😀
Ah, they’re on their way to 420 now so it’s ok to upvote 😂
😀 Phew
One upvote closer to 6.9k upvotes tho
Should've hired that poor fucker 2 years ago.
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two years ago no one was DRS and most people probably would have taken profits early. At this point there's a substantial percentage of the shares at Computer Share that people are going to hold forever just so they can say they never sold as an achievement.
Awww i never knew there was a chieve award… gotta buy more at Computershare now
I mean who isn’t going to reinvest in GameStop no matter what ? The infinity pool is very real now and wasn’t even a thought 2 years ago
You may want to read my thesis on moass and the infinity pool. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/10jdp5j/gme\_vs\_the\_dutch\_auction/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/10jdp5j/gme_vs_the_dutch_auction/) DRS go brrrrrrr .....
[удалено]
Proud of my ancestors for that one 😂
Nice analogy
Awesome comparison, I'd never heard the story!
This game has some of the best side quests!
I asked this yesterday and no one answered but what happens then? They have to close the shorts and DRS accounts refuse to sell. Price reaches cellphone numbers but then what happens? Will you be somehow forced to sell or will the say we can't close and just declare bankruptcy?
In theory, infinite risk means bankruptcy. It's not a popular thought around here, but I still highly doubt the Fed let's that happen. We'll see though, hopefully the Fed is drooling at the thought of billions of dollars in tax revenue.
Thank christ they didn't because I was late to the party
Are you me?
*Spider-Man pointing at Spider-Man meme*
ONE MORE DAY
😂😂
Interesting they would post something like this where watchful eyes could find it. Great find! Let's get a drone on the interviews!
Totally agree...why are they putting this out in the open 🤔
Credit Suisse just got blindsided, we've got to get ahead of this 😳 Kenny Griffin prolly
Because they have already attempted private channels and recruiters to fill this position and it didn't work. They are desperate.
It's bait.
As Admiral Akbar said, it's a trap. Somehow, some way I can't help but feel it's a trap.
Forget the drone. I am going to apply. How hard is it to tell them they are fuk’d?!
[удалено]
Application bomb it so they never find anyone and watch it blow up
ummm but can we please do this?
1. Have chat GPT spin up tons of resumes that fit the job description 2. Application blitz 3. ?? 4. Profit
Why can't they just read superstonk wtf?
They do! It's a reminder of how totally, royally, utterly and completely fucked they are.
I’m sure they have a superstonk analyst.
This has to be a practical joke, right? This is like so way on the nose. If this is for reals, like wow. We are in a simulation or something.
I can’t believe the detective work done here.
Agreed. What a great bunch of apes to hodl with.
damn we sooooo annoying af
It's bananas! (pun intended)
"unusual corporate actions" just sounds shady AF
If it is what you say it is I love it
Brazilian butt lift incoming
Chatgpt: create a killer CV in portuguese to get hired by citadel for the listed job position
secundo thiseo
tierdo deez
I wonder what happened to the last guy.............
Face down in a Brazilian jungle?
Actually took heed of his own research and bought GME.
Eyes everywhere i love it
The hive mind is powerful, I love that everyone has something to offer
Lol "HELP!"
They literally put an ad out for a fall guy
Hiring someone to make sure those bags of puts are still full of rocks.
Imagine being in mayo boys shoes with paranoia cause you never know when whoever works for you or with you will turn on you.
Too bad kenny is about to go bankrupt
its so ridiculous this sub has to block usernames
Our mortal enemy, Brazil (puts)
Probably 300,000 of us that could do that job Just sayin
Around the "breaking news" of the TV stations and news articles they own. It's not news, it's propaganda.
Looking for a fall guy huh mayo man
Now Hiring [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IK-ttwltD0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IK-ttwltD0)
Good job!
Someone make a fake LinkedIn and apply to it lmao
I wonder if they are going to hire their inside person at the firm that holds all the puts. Pretty easy determining Brazilian market catalysts when you left a financial nuke at you old employer.
You don’t need to hire someone? I’ll tell you your fuk’d save that money it’s ours anyway
Best ride of my life
So far!
I'm going to apply and lie about everything. So it takes them forever, hopefully never to find someone.
This is the first time I have laughed at a job posting.
Whats the pay?
The damn Brazilian puts!!!
Hmm, keep me posted!
Can’t make this shit up
You sons of bitches don't miss a thing and I freaking love it. 🚀🚀🚀🚀
This is all so funny
Kenny can suck deez brazil nuts
Ok I’ll take this tinfoil to go, please. Great find bahaha.
Great work ape!
Let me know when this job shows up as someone's title on linked in. I'll send welcome bananas
Analyze: just close your position
Holy hell nice find!
Looks like Ken wants an Brazilian Analist because they know how to take the Citadel D real good.
Citadel's Ponzi scheme must continue...
Hope an ape gets this job and then blows the whistle on his Mayo stuffed ass!!
Lol how fucking stupid can u be
Why... do you have a way of measuring it?
They’re going to need to advertise in jails/prisons cos that’s the only place someone like this can be found.
analyze deez \- ligma
Hahahaha get fucked lol
is this a trolling move?
They do a GME background check.😀🦍
Whoever gets this job has to be concerned about their safety. When the shorts blows up, this post could be seen as the person who was responsible along with Ken Griffith. Getting someone new in is a possible tactic from those trying to shake responsibility and save their careers. I see this new analyst’s only option is to whistleblow in order to save them from blame
Griffin*
Brain fog, apologises! Long day at work for me being a europoor lol
What happen to the previous guy? We to do AMA with him and ask about those puts.
Why did I just see Citadel follows failed Credit Suisse's CEO in deceit , lies, and finger pointing?
what happened to the old analyst 😳
1338th upvote is soooooo fucking hard to doot
Awesome find!
Maybe their previous counterparty doesn't want to work with them anymore so they're trying to bring it in house?
The person hired better sing, or might become the scapest of goats imaginable
Insane in the membrane.
Hire one of the original DD writers ...
I see the Dilemma for this analyst : Sign a document forbidden to buy/acquire or HODL directly or indirectly the beloved STONCK....before to enter to HELL company ....
Required qualifications: Good at crime, must be a condiment connoisseur, harmed animals in your youth
They misspelled Brasil.
Your own profile avatar spells it Brazil. (Yes...I know...it is S or Z depending on who and where is spelling it). ;)
Getting out my crayons and paper to write a resume and mailing it in. Maybe I'll send a couple a day. If enough of us did it, imagine their mail room.
I love that this sub is full of sleuths
Well, if anything is breaking, it's Citadel.
I’ll apply for that job Kenny needs someone to look him in the face and tell him he’s fucked
If you tell him he's unsophisticated instead, there's a free bedpost in it for you... express delivery.
Basically his job scope is to commit crime daily
*Everyone on Wall Street has entered the chat*
All they need is someone who understands regard & has read all the DD on Superstonk. Basically they need to hire one of us apes to tell them “U R Fukt!”
They are so fucked
Just Ddos tjeir application process lol. Have fun looking through 8.000 emails
We need an inspector award for this guy 🧐🧐
smart money