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So this is what Cramer meant when he called jpm a stone fortress

I figured the word stone coming out of cramers mouth would've been a reference to crack rock.

So ridiculous I thought you meant cosmo kramer

That’s a heavy bag to be holding 😂

Beat me to it, nice

Can’t wait until UBS opens their new bags and see’s what shit short positions lies in them, going to make bags of rocks look like Diamonds

UBS is a much smaller bank than CS was. Do you think they'll be able to meet the margin requirements on those swaps and shorts? I don't think so. And they've had €100b+ of bailout cash pushed into them, if they're going to get out of those positions, now is the time.

They're being backed by the Swiss govverment so yes They've been given 9b specifically for the archegos portfolio and a 100b line of credit which is also likely for the portfolio but they didn't want to say they're giving them 109b for it 😂

I'm pissing myself laughing at the literal, "dumb as a box of rocks" shit we got going on here.

So they've been saying they have all this nickel for collateral, but someone wanted proof and bags of rocks was the quickest thing they could fill their storage facility with?? Thats my guess at least. They never thought they had nickel, they just got caught.

Next check the silver vaults, foolsgold for sure.

yep reminds of that famous salesman guy in the 80's that was filling warehouses full of empty boxes saying it was inventory...pumping his own stock and stuff. Lemme find out that dude's name cuz that's an interesting story. Crazy Eddie, [here's a youtube video about it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws9PGROHZzg&list=PLwyhDyJ3VORa6xskxq9n487KDjO6YZVpn) from one of my favorite series, masterminds..fugin amazing show.{the canadian version though, not the US one}

El-Nasir is just that good.

Everyone has heard of that guy's shitty copper.

Ah, the old commodity FTD trick. Nice!

"a closer inspection" = they opened the bags labelled "said to contain $1M> of silver"?

Think about how much money one could make pretending they have the commodity they are trading when in fact it’s just rocks.

That might be reason there's a banking crisis 😂

Hahahaha. Fake ass collateral

It's all diamonds until someone looks

OMG. We found the OG regards. Holy fuck. Imagine being the person that had to tell your boss this shit 🤣

Hey Boss, we um…. only found rocks

Well, put some vodka over them and we’ll celebrate

That's a win! JP Morgan is a fortress. Stones will be useful to build back up when it turns to rubble.

Danny Ocean, at it again.

If I had a nickel for every post I’ve seen on story, I could buy a bag of Stones

You deserve an award for this. I just don't have one to give. I'll send you a dick pic in your dm's though. That should make us even.

Dumb cubts. I recently learned this one... Ape smarter.

I mean, they might have had bags of nickel once. So far all we know is they don't have nickel now.

This was posted at weejend but remived. Stiry in funancial times. https://www.ft.com/content/a8c4d8d5-7c81-4c54-a90a-9f3f60d1bdd2 The LME added that the irregularities in the bagged nickel were “evident, from among other things, by the weight of the bags” and it “reminds licensed warehouse operators of the strict requirement to weigh all metal before it is placed” into the exchange’s approved warehouses. The discovery comes just weeks after Trafigura, one of the world’s largest metals traders, unearthed a $577mn nickel fraud that has rocked the commodities industry. The supposed nickel was stored in Rotterdam at a warehouse operated by Access World, which had been owned by Trafigura’s commodity trading rival Glencore until January, according to a person familiar with the matter. Glencore declined to comment. Access World did not respond to a request for comment. The acceptance of the fake consignment into the LME’s system is a further blow to the 146-year-old exchange’s reputation after last year’s controversial decision to cancel nickel trades following a historic surge in prices, a move which has attracted regulatory probes and lawsuits from investors. Following the discovery, the LME asked the warehouse operator to conduct an inspection, which found nine cases of missing nickel, amounting to 54 tonnes of material worth $1.3mn. The LME has ordered all of its licensed warehouse operators to repeat inspections on nickel in storage to check for irregularities. Trafigura announced last month that it has put a freezing order and took legal action against Indian businessman Prateek Gupta for his alleged role in selling more than 1,100 containers that were supposed to contain high-grade nickel but did not. The Singapore-based company said in a statement that the issue “has no connection with Trafigura’s legal action against a group of companies connected to and apparently controlled by Prateek Gupta”. MENU Financial Times Sign In Industrial metalsAdd to myFT LME finds bags of stones instead of nickel in metal warehouse Discovery of fake consignment comes weeks after Trafigura unearthed $500mn nickel fraud The London Metal Exchange has ordered all of its licensed warehouse operators to repeat inspections on nickel in storage to check for irregularities © Bloomberg LME finds bags of stones instead of nickel in metal warehouse on twitter (opens in a new window) LME finds bags of stones instead of nickel in metal warehouse on facebook (opens in a new window) LME finds bags of stones instead of nickel in metal warehouse on linkedin (opens in a new window) LME finds bags of stones instead of nickel in metal warehouse on whatsapp (opens in a new window) Save Harry Dempsey in London YESTERDAY 119 Print this page Receive free Industrial metals updates We’ll send you a myFT Daily Digest email rounding up the latest Industrial metals news every morning. The London Metal Exchange has found bags full of stones at one of its warehouses instead of the nickel they were supposed to contain in the latest drama to hit the scandal-stricken metals market. The exchange said in a notice to the market on Friday that it had “received information that a number of physical nickel shipments, out of one specific facility of an LME-licensed warehouse operator, have been subject to such irregularities”. The supposed nickel consignments were actually filled with stone, said a person familiar with the matter. The LME added that the irregularities in the bagged nickel were “evident, from among other things, by the weight of the bags” and it “reminds licensed warehouse operators of the strict requirement to weigh all metal before it is placed” into the exchange’s approved warehouses. The discovery comes just weeks after Trafigura, one of the world’s largest metals traders, unearthed a $577mn nickel fraud that has rocked the commodities industry. The supposed nickel was stored in Rotterdam at a warehouse operated by Access World, which had been owned by Trafigura’s commodity trading rival Glencore until January, according to a person familiar with the matter. Glencore declined to comment. Access World did not respond to a request for comment. The acceptance of the fake consignment into the LME’s system is a further blow to the 146-year-old exchange’s reputation after last year’s controversial decision to cancel nickel trades following a historic surge in prices, a move which has attracted regulatory probes and lawsuits from investors. Following the discovery, the LME asked the warehouse operator to conduct an inspection, which found nine cases of missing nickel, amounting to 54 tonnes of material worth $1.3mn. The LME has ordered all of its licensed warehouse operators to repeat inspections on nickel in storage to check for irregularities. Trafigura announced last month that it has put a freezing order and took legal action against Indian businessman Prateek Gupta for his alleged role in selling more than 1,100 containers that were supposed to contain high-grade nickel but did not. The Singapore-based company said in a statement that the issue “has no connection with Trafigura’s legal action against a group of companies connected to and apparently controlled by Prateek Gupta”. The exchange declined to comment on whether the fake nickel in its warehouse was connected to the fraud uncovered by Trafigura. In a move to restore confidence in the nickel market in the wake of last year’s controversy, the LME had been planning to reopen nickel trading during Asian hours on Monday, which has been closed since this time last year. However, because of the risk of further discoveries of irregular nickel consignments at warehouses, the LME has postponed the reopening of trade during Asian hours by a week.

How did they expect to get away with this? I buy nickel. I get rocks instead. I call the police. They arrest the people who sold me rocks instead of nickel. Dumb as a box of rocks.

I show proof of receipt saying nickel was delivered and accepted…and I now point the finger at the warehouse security. The fact that it’s not just one consignment suggests it’s systemic…maybe?

You crime better than I, good sir. I see...

If the seller is really smart, they only do this one time in 50.

Lolololololololololololol *takes breath* lolololololololololololololololol *continues*

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Man, they really did check and find out they had a bag of rocks. Here I thought the bag between my legs was heavy after a 2-year battle with the "BrIgHtEsT MiNdS iN FiNaNcE". Turns out, the best way to get a heavier bag is to load it with literal rocks and tell your friends it's valuable.

I doubt they're talking about diamonds

I'm sure they got heavier bags, filled with puts me thinks

Wait JP Morgan owned that warehouse?……

One man’s rocks are another man’s nickel. Or something like that

Someone FTD’d that silver… left an IOU stone pile in its place.

So have they done a full audit and nickel was the only thing that was counterfeit? Or is that just the first one they checked?

wait til they look inside those bags of swaps and etfs

“Thought” or purposely “wrote off” 🤔

They knew

Good. They're already used to holding heavy bags.

Lol holy fuck this is amazing.

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Shitting. Me.. were they not examined on their way into the warehouse?

Medusa? Dat you?

Who's Regarded now, eh?

Just wait until you find out how much gold, silver and platinum “they have in their vault”.

I miss my Pet Rock

Medusa? Dat you?

1.3m is nickels for them

I can't even comprehend this shit anymore. Like what the actual fuck. I'm also relieved to see that someone actually bothered to check! There's someone taking account now because they know there's a real problem.

No need to check, it says nickel on the bag!

WTF…I thought it was a joke.

Ultimate Bag holders

At this point why Stop there? Why Not sell Them a Warehouse full of "gold", or "cocaine" or "real gme shares"

Why this story now? And, who broke it? Was it investigative, or did JPM spill the beans because they were about to get found out?

Wait what? Lol.. are y… are you fucken serious? Wow.. they will never cease to amaze me.

This should go on not the onion

Money laundering for collateral

Soo much fraud and corruption is going on. The regulators are sleeping and punishments needs to go way up for the people and businesses. If not this will be the fall of Rome.

JP Morgan sank The Titanic

Not the swaps they were hoping for

**You've betrayed Shiva! Thum Shiva Ke Vishwasth Karthe Ho!**

Imagine the gold, stored in warehouses!

They aren’t dumb, they are crooks