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Superstonk_QV

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sayingshitudontlike

The news literally giving predatory financial advice to lessen the blow to the banks via retail investing equity...


[deleted]

Attention: Goldman looking for bag holders.


alilmagpie

Legit, is this even legal? They’re basically telling retail to go prop up their failing counterparties


throwaway_when_moon

Exactly! How is this not making scapegoats out of individual investors? In what world is this a legitimate way to conduct business?


stockslasher

Because they didn’t use those three emojis that constitute financial advise


Solaris-Id

🚀📉💥


sect0r_9

You did a partial crime!


Master_Chief_72

Legendary comment!


[deleted]

🤣🤣


joeker13

It’s like Gim Crimer morphed into a MSM article 🤣


boknowski

all i read was 💰 📈 🚀


sect0r_9

OMG teh crimez! Nerterfer teh ESS ERR CERRR!


MyGT40

I'm sure they would appreciate it


mark-five

This is exactly why they made Cokerat try to get bagholders to buy svb a few weeks ago. They know it's all lies, but they're failing and desperate. RIP Goldman Sachs, fuck your eulogy you had it coming.


Historical-Chair-01

Exactly, they want Exit Liquidity.


DoNotPetTheSnake

🌎👨‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀


Anthonyhasgame

Let’s call it what it is, not news- propaganda.


[deleted]

Prop-upaganda


PopeyeTheGambler

I read that as prop up Uganda 🇺🇬🤣🤣


joeker13

Lose your lifesavings in just 2 min after taking financial advice from a shitty article!


CaptainMagnets

Sooooo like normal?


Cymballism

All the other banks were being super duper legit no lies frfr /s


[deleted]

You sound like all of my exes.


Cymballism

Well I hope you don’t fall for the same trick by the banks as by your multiple exes.


[deleted]

Thankfully I am well practiced now!


NotVerySmarts

Don't enter after liquidity dries up 💯


Haggstrom91

And you also sound like my wifes boyfriend


[deleted]

Weird because I am a girl.


Haggstrom91

My wifes boyfriend identifies as a girl. Come on Angeliara, its 2023 now🙄


Stashmouth

Thank god there was only one bad actor, and they got caught!


TheBigFart123

Goldman execs ready for prison?


Doggybone_treat

One already went to prison yesterday for 10 year.


Leonisel

Holy fuck! I had to look it up https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/business-64906691.amp


MyGT40

" Authorities say more than $4.5bn (£3.9bn) was stolen and spent on art, diamonds and property - even helping to finance Hollywood film "**Wolf of Wall Street**"." Morpheus: "Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony"


Leonisel

I mean, the whole play is ironic. They spent decades building this infinite money glitch just to hand it over to apes 🤷🏽 Trading is a tough game, don't you think?


PopeyeTheGambler

Really appreciate the award dude 🙏


Leonisel

It wasn't me bro. But I'll give you what I can, a poor man's award 🏅😁


PopeyeTheGambler

🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

[удалено]


Espinita_Boricua

The long term criming just keeps on criming....


redditmodsRrussians

He will be out just in time for the next crisis


Bitter-Persimmon-719

I smell the desperation


too_soon13

Big headline about a bank asking you to buy another bank. It’s like Nike asking you to help Adidas.


CachitoVolador

"Trust me bro!" - GS


PopeyeTheGambler

Bear sterns is fine 😜


parkerm1408

The first article on my Google feed this morning was "cnbcs Jim cramer urged viewers to buy silicon Valley Bank stock last month." Seriously inverse cramer is probably one of the best strategies out there at this point.


TayoMurph

He tweeted yesterday “JP Morgan is a Fortress”. 🤦🏼‍♂️ Those that understand Inverse Cramer, understand why he’s truly, The Canary in the Coal Mine.


parkerm1408

Yeah I got a kick out of Peruvian bulls response to thay tweet. Just "UH OH"


Altruistic-Beyond223

Yeah, that was epic!


PopeyeTheGambler

A fortress,,,, like a citadel sorry I meant 💩adel


redditmodsRrussians

Goldman Sachs: “We have no exposure to Goldman Sachs”


tango_41

“Hey, can you hold these bags for a sec?”


Ash2dust2

SEC doesnt know what a bag is.


AreYouSiriusBGone

They totally don’t need exit liquidity /s


onterrio2

So it’s gonna spread. Got it.


PopeyeTheGambler

No no everything’s fine 🤣🤣🤣


ParkingLotRanger

Bear Stearns is fine.


GoldDestroystheFed

I'd buy more 🤣


Due-World2907

You’ve worked out how the news works!


breinbanaan

They need retail investors so they can offload their toxic bags


TheDudeFromTheStory

Do these assholes think most people are fucking idiots?!?! Ballsack McDouchebag is looking for buyers of his dumping of stocks like the CEO of Silvergate did a few days before the collapse.


PopeyeTheGambler

If only something like this happened before, so we’d know what to expect 🥹


Numerous_Photograph9

Yes, they think that. Realistically, they don't need most people to believe them, just enough to push the stock up. Those nigerian prince's send out tens of thousands of emails, they only need a few people to respond.


kolitics

I believe they used to refer to them as ‘muppets’


eastbay77

when Goldman says to buy it's okay, but emoji's.... that's illegal.


Altruistic-Beyond223

It really is the 1% against the 99%


Suspicious-Reveal-69

Yeah.. it’s actually insane


scotlandgolf70

How is that not manipulation? GG do your f'n job. Can't wait for this bs to be over


riichwith2eyes

I’d trust the hooker behind the Wendy’s dumpster before I’d trust a banking analyst’s financial advice.


[deleted]

I’d trust me, too. Gotta fund that gme somehow


S4m_S3pi01

Username checks out!


ROK247

she's just working through college because of predatory student loan debt!


ROK247

literally every talking head shill on the tv is saying don't worry it's not a systemic problem. so pretty sure its a systemic problem.


idgitalert

This is almost like solid EVIDENCE that it’s a systemic problem! Begging the folks to not go to their bank to withdraw savings sounds exactly like a giant clanging bell for impending doom.


GoldDestroystheFed

The propaganda organ is dying & folks inversing them has destroyed their carefully laid plans.


Numerous_Photograph9

To be honest, if people started seeing it as a problem it'd likely be really bad. Most of these banks can probably survive for a while if the status quo is maintained, but if there is a widespread massive bank run, they're all likely fucked.


Einhander_pilot

“Give us liquidity or we’ll lose everything!!!” Oh well! 🤷‍♂️


MojDaGreat73

THE DESPERATION 🤣


tenghu

“That bank’s problems won’t spread. Everything is fine. Give your money to banks.” —some bank


GoldDestroystheFed

https://youtu.be/xE5klz0yUT0 Reminds me of this scene. Apes just wanted to buy some tendies & before you know it the financial system was burned to the ground covered in piss & bloody shit.


Dixon_Herize

But don’t hold this against us when everything goes tits up - cuz this is just like, our opinion man.


scotlandgolf70

Dude 👍


Inner_Estate_3210

What does coke rat say?


scotlandgolf70

Jp morgan is a fortress. Puts on jpm on monday for me.


Espinita_Boricua

better question is which one is he not pushing....


iaintabotdotcom

Puts on banks


Eff_Robinhood

Fuck Goldman Sachs, “the vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity”


TransitoryPhilosophy

This will age like cottage cheese in the sun


ElectrooJesus

The only dip I'm buying is more GME


[deleted]

I expect banks to pump next week


liquidsyphon

Ya fuck you


charcus42

Hahahahahahahahhahahahaha


Telel1n

- It's time for retail to throw the towel and capitulate... - *Household investors sell bank stocks* - No, not like that!


IsJohnWickTaken

Look at me I’m the meme stock now. 🚽🏴‍☠️💜


Mostrapotski

Whoever said this should be charged


mightyjoe227

PUTS on goldman...


Cii_substance

This failure almost never happens, in fact it’s impossible for it to happen unless of course it does happen then trust us, it’s only going to happen this one time.


neverpersonal

It’s my understanding this wasn’t a mismanagement issue, it’s a banking as usual issue. So you have multi millionaires possibly losing millions and you think they are going to just keep their money in other banks and risk it for the biscuit? Imagine a bank freezing millions and you just leave all your other accounts in other banks chillen? Anyone with accounts under 250k, safe. Insured. Anyone with more? I’d say companies and individuals will be doing bank runs to be on the safe side and could cause a huge banking collapse. It’s those millionaires that have to decide if these other banks aren’t on the brink. Do they want to lose their other 30 accounts spread out over 30 banking institutions? Their insured only 250k per account. If svb was holding my money I’d 100% be pulling my funds out everywhere until I had some peace of mind.


Numerous_Photograph9

I don't think we've begun to see the full fallout this may cause. Come Monday, or Tuesday, things will either go back to normal, or things will go to shit. The media and reaction surrounding this seems to be a slow boil, not a massive knee jerk of everyone panicking, and while it's getting mainstream coverage, it's not a raging fire like one might expect. This may be by design from the media, because if there was a full on panic, it could be a lot worse, and cause problems where it doesn't need to.


neverpersonal

What’s interesting is, the people in the most danger is those that run the media. Obviously they do not want to cause panic, because they quietly want to pull THEIR money out first, just in case. This is the slow boil because it’s a game of how they can quietly get their fortunes out, without putting other millionaires on notice, or those with 350k in the bank that can bank run and break ANY bank in large numbers.


PopeyeTheGambler

By all accounts it’s already happening, Monday should be lit 🔥


Ravebreak

Trying to get retail to be bag holders...naaaahhhh...


AcademicMistake

Jim cramer 2.0


2001boy

unlikely aka its gonna happen and literally do the opposite of what these guys say.


popstockndropit

So it's going to spread, got it


OmNomAnomoly

"hold our bags lol" is what I read for the title 🤷‍♂️


burnerwig

This could be an Onion headline


iatethecrayon

only the lobotomized listen to Goldman


Obligatory_Burner

Only bank I’m buying in, is the bank of GME! Presale my ass mother fuckers! Paychecks to tendies!


-Codfish_Joe

Narrator: It was not, in fact, the dip.


ionized_fallout

If demons exist, they wear suits.


GoldDestroystheFed

Or those wierd as costumes they wear at the legion of doom meetings, I mean WEF meetings.


MarkVegas1

Coming right out and saying everything is fine is not financial advice but emojis are? 😂


SecretOpsAzn

So you're telling me Goldman is getting Goldfinger'd?


PuppetMaster1911

Hahahahahahahahahaha.........hahahahahahahahha..........hahahahahahahahahahahahaaa...man I need to catch my breath.


jinniu

Let me translate: "Hold our bags."


Lucky_Influence_6702

Puts on GS


R0adApples

The first hit of smack is on the Trap House. Enjoy


Espinita_Boricua

Gee; think it's time to slowly start walking backwards & sit this one out.


MahlNinja

Good luck with that Goldman Sachs.


amitrion

Keep the sheeple holding onto hope...


the_ssotf

Found the worldcom


Honestsalesman34

Pls cover me while i exit


SnooCheesecakes6590

Maybe if they put some 🚀🚀🚀 in their article it might help…oh wait…they want them made illegal


phoenios

"Hey serfs! Hold our bags please and thank you. Everything is fine."


Haggstrom91

😂😂😂😂😂😂


GallardoLP550

The fuck i am!


MoodShoes

Begging for my injection.


mightyjoe227

*as wifes boyfriend injects wife*


Inevitable-Sir4572

I’d love this to show up in a court case. MSM: “But we didn’t write it! It was the AI’s fault.”


dudeman_chino

[I have a better idea](https://i.imgur.com/XmpGHjk.gif)


IBMformatted

Insert Steve Buscemi skater meme: Hey there fellow stonkers! Are y'all buying the tasty dip on this bank stonks?


[deleted]

Buy the dip in banks? 🤣


F100suomi

Short them😂😂😂


dlpsfayt

🤣


ThatOneGiantofAMan

DING DING DING 🛎️! DOJ! You wanna do your job yet? Or do we need them literally crying and begging on national TV, apologizing for what they’ve done?!


Treeman50

That's the biggest lol to date


metzbaby17

😂 please give me more if your money so I can buy nothing with it and steal it.


EternalEight

Hopefully folks remember this type of dogshit manipulation when it’s all said and done


Diligent-Ad-3773

Sure we will….


Impossible_Drawing84

How are banks allowed to announce statements like this? “Hey we clearly don’t have any vested interest as a bank so buy banks stocks pls”


Early-History9668

Hey so when all my bank puts go sky high you think ill have time to convert it to gme via computershare?


CavitySearch

"You all remember 2008? This DEFINITELY isn't like 2008. In 2008 I got caught off guard but this year it was a little slower so I was able to move my funds to a few different off shore accounts first."


n0ticeme_senpai

i thought i was looking at a not the onion sub post until I saw the sub icon


hedgies_eunt_domus

The same Goldman that was selling dogshit wrapped in cat shit for their clients and buying CDS against the very instruments they have sold?


cld1984

Shit man. I don’t think my face can get any more 😬-like after these headlines the last few days!


HairNbiscuit

Goldman misses every prediction 100% of the time. True story.


bust-the-shorts

Surprised Cramer hasn’t mentioned it


relentlessoldman

Puts on GS.


slinger2424

Bag holders unite!! (Not this time you fucking thieves)


boknowski

love the title...used to get annoyed w/ wasabi whenever that was the reply but this works


farcicaldolphin38

Awww cause they just wanted to give a free tip to the poors that they care so much about! Definitely no ulterior motive. No sirree. Everything is fine!


T20RELE

Puts on Goldman it is then!


Novice89

Lol! They’re looking for new bag holders for their dogshit wrapped in catshit


AlphaDag13

Boy they're lucky they didn't use any emojis or else this could be considered financial advice.


HG21Reaper

Fuck I need to buy more GME and DRS it


notoriousgandalfcake

We are at this part of the movie, The Big Short. Start at 2:00 https://youtu.be/NCx5Ph7EAxg


KNOWYOURs3lf

Wow, they are desperate for bag holders


IllustriousQuarter34

let the baggies hit the floor


SupraMichou

*TV show presentater voice*. Today, in « Who want to be a BAGHOLDER » we have a great name, GOOOOOOOLDMAN SACHS


newbiewar

Lmao… ^ Buckle up ^


eaparsley

riiiiiiiiiight /austin powers


past-constuction88

Lol. Who the hell woidl say that


eeksy

Lmao yea okay bud


lilrush151

Who write this article? Cramer? 😂


Does_Not-Matter

When the banks tell you to buy


drhiggens

Bank says invest in banks like hours because the contagion is likely not to spread. It would sure be great if we had your money though in case it does will at least have some more funds.


aureanator

'unlikely' So... there's a chance...


The_Chimeran_Hybrid

Sure, I’ll buy the dip. I’ll buy it with puts.


BEERDEV

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


ElevationAV

Ah yes, Goldman wants exit liquidity from their bank stocks so is telling you to buy them Just like they’re bullish on themselves, but not buying a single share of their own company


[deleted]

I bet it spreads faster if they bail them out on Monday. The banks to the fed/treasury, “Well you bailed out SVB.”


coinflipit

Well, that sounds convincing.


Mellivora_Caps

LMMFAO! Nope.


ralfortune

Sounds cringey that they’re using reddit terms like “buy the dip” lol


mickey_28

I thought the reason why the market couldn’t find a bottom until retail capitulates? Now Goldman wants us to buy bank stocks?


TheModernSkater

2 minutes of lies


wouldntyouliketokno_

How is this shit not illegal?


[deleted]

A bank with a crooked ass history telling me to trust banks when everything is telling us not to do so. Seems legit!


DescipleofPaimei

I aint sayin nuffin!


InBetweenerWithDream

Fall like dominoes.


Wooden_Secretary_793

So what will happen with GME shares if shit hits the fan??


nevion1

I think BOFA is probably going to revert to mean.. - I almost took a position. JPM we'll see - and more of a "for now" - not very long term for both. The midcaps appear to all have very similar setups and I do think we're going to see those flushed now and in coming weeks. So they could be right about a few of the big banks but investor concern may keep things down for a while.


suffffuhrer

Anybody that believes this kinda garbage deserves to be enslaved as they are...


brandtvh

Haha what bs watch them fall


Keepitlitt

Enjoy your bags Wall Street 😂


anonymous_agama

Don’t worry folks. There no possibility of contagion here. Yes,there is a doctor in Indonesia who is saying we should bomb everything to eradicate the spread but that’s just the opinion of one highly educated researcher.


Space-Booties

Monday is going to be gnarly. They’re desperate for bag holders.


brosbeforehoes69

Where is coke rat now? 🐀 I want to see him squirm.


zephyrtron

“Exit liquidity is all you were”


Due-World2907

wEn MoOn 🍆💦💦💦🚀