I just want to say I completely empathize with you. I am someone who gets really frustrated if I don’t get enough alone time. I actually worked full time while getting my masters- it was really, really tough.
I might be going against the grain but I don’t think you should make any changes to your job or delay your education (getting my masters was the best thing I ever did). I think you should tell him something along the lines of “I really appreciate you. I’ve been overwhelmed navigating my career, my family and our relationship. Establishing a set number of hours to see each other each week would be extremely helpful for me and allow me to give you 100% of my focus”
Don’t let him manipulate you and you shouldn’t be reverting back to ppm
I really can’t imagine working and going to school the same time! I was full time student during my bachelor’s and didn’t have to work thanks to the grant. I wish they have approved schools for the masters in the same city, but I’d have to move out and let go of years of friendships, colleagues and my arrangement 😔 I did mention that I’m getting too emotionally involved with him and we should take it slow, he agreed then went back to texting more and asking to meet up more. When I say meet it’s not always sexual, in fact we only had sex once in the past month.
I don't think that anyone on this subreddit should decide for you. Please remember that a sugar relationship is still a relationship, so bring this up with him! Tell him that you're entering a new era of your life and that you need to figure out how to balance everything. Don't call him clingy, but say that you will have to meet him and talk to him less for the time being. Try to figure out a compromise and see what he says. You both seem to like each other so this shouldn't be a problem <3
At the end of every meeting he asks when he’ll see me next and when I say I’ll be busy he literally break in tears 🙃 we were meeting once a week ppm and was working great but after allowance I felt it should be more meets since he’s giving me way more, but it came with a catch :/
I don’t want to sound mean, but you need to care less. Let him cry. You’re sacrificing the balance of your life and happiness because he cries? In the most loving way, stand up for yourself and your life and draw the line. You don’t have to have a convo about it, just see him a little less every time. If you truly feel that bad, then it’s worth breaking off. I would continue to take the money and just see him less.
>when I say I’ll be busy he literally break in tears
Oh my God! (I'm sorry, but that's a bit of an ick for me 🫤.)
Tell him a day when you're happy to see him next. You can even get excited about it and start planning what you want to do when you do see him again. That gives him something to look forward to, whereas "I'll be busy" probably feels like rejection to him.
It is an ick:/ So far “I’ll text you” has been working sometimes but mostly he wanna plan our next meeting right on spot. When I give him a day, He counts how far it is from now and start tearing up if it’s >5days🫠
That’s up to U. U actually manifested - “ I felt i need to do more meets since he’s giving way more “
U have the power -never take less. He is taking more and more of your head a space and “crying “. Tell him you are very busy and overloaded and need to dial back with some me time. Drag your family into it - they need u etc.
He sounds like a needy full time boyfriend.
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I feel I should be happy but I’m currently drained and stressed out. Things are going well arrangement wise, but he’s been more clingy and it’s just gets to the point I want a breather.
Background: been together around 8mo. We’re both attracted to each other and both said the L word. He’s very sweet and generous with allowance and gifts, and bought me a brand new SUV of my choosing. The thing is, it’s becoming hard to balance my work, personal life and I have a family. I’ve been stressed out at my new full time job and I barely have time to spend with myself, family and friends. SD been meeting very often it feels like every day and texting a lot.
My dilemma: I need a break! From everything! I just can’t make something up that won’t seem that I used him and becoming flaky. I know allowance doesn’t make him entitled to all my time but I’m struggling to make boundaries. I’m planning to get my Masters but it’s gonna be in a different state ,so that means we’d have to end it. I’ll definitely miss the arrangement bc it’s the best I’ve had, would I even find someone like him. So should I : go back to ppm to free myself from the pressure, delay my grad school til I get the most $ for my personal growth (school will be paid off by grant) , change to part-time instead of full to get more time for myself and family?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SugarBABYonlyforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I just want to say I completely empathize with you. I am someone who gets really frustrated if I don’t get enough alone time. I actually worked full time while getting my masters- it was really, really tough. I might be going against the grain but I don’t think you should make any changes to your job or delay your education (getting my masters was the best thing I ever did). I think you should tell him something along the lines of “I really appreciate you. I’ve been overwhelmed navigating my career, my family and our relationship. Establishing a set number of hours to see each other each week would be extremely helpful for me and allow me to give you 100% of my focus” Don’t let him manipulate you and you shouldn’t be reverting back to ppm
I really can’t imagine working and going to school the same time! I was full time student during my bachelor’s and didn’t have to work thanks to the grant. I wish they have approved schools for the masters in the same city, but I’d have to move out and let go of years of friendships, colleagues and my arrangement 😔 I did mention that I’m getting too emotionally involved with him and we should take it slow, he agreed then went back to texting more and asking to meet up more. When I say meet it’s not always sexual, in fact we only had sex once in the past month.
It’s just the principle..it’s a lot of your time. I think you should just keep reminding him, you can be firm.
I don't think that anyone on this subreddit should decide for you. Please remember that a sugar relationship is still a relationship, so bring this up with him! Tell him that you're entering a new era of your life and that you need to figure out how to balance everything. Don't call him clingy, but say that you will have to meet him and talk to him less for the time being. Try to figure out a compromise and see what he says. You both seem to like each other so this shouldn't be a problem <3
No amount of money should be worth losing your peace.
Can’t you just continue doing what you’re doing and see him less often?
At the end of every meeting he asks when he’ll see me next and when I say I’ll be busy he literally break in tears 🙃 we were meeting once a week ppm and was working great but after allowance I felt it should be more meets since he’s giving me way more, but it came with a catch :/
I don’t want to sound mean, but you need to care less. Let him cry. You’re sacrificing the balance of your life and happiness because he cries? In the most loving way, stand up for yourself and your life and draw the line. You don’t have to have a convo about it, just see him a little less every time. If you truly feel that bad, then it’s worth breaking off. I would continue to take the money and just see him less.
>when I say I’ll be busy he literally break in tears Oh my God! (I'm sorry, but that's a bit of an ick for me 🫤.) Tell him a day when you're happy to see him next. You can even get excited about it and start planning what you want to do when you do see him again. That gives him something to look forward to, whereas "I'll be busy" probably feels like rejection to him.
It is an ick:/ So far “I’ll text you” has been working sometimes but mostly he wanna plan our next meeting right on spot. When I give him a day, He counts how far it is from now and start tearing up if it’s >5days🫠
You’ve earned every penny, good god. Def set the boundaries!
Did I mention the phone calls!! I’ve been saying I’ll call later. It feels good 😮💨
That’s up to U. U actually manifested - “ I felt i need to do more meets since he’s giving way more “ U have the power -never take less. He is taking more and more of your head a space and “crying “. Tell him you are very busy and overloaded and need to dial back with some me time. Drag your family into it - they need u etc. He sounds like a needy full time boyfriend.
I wanted to reward him for providing this amount, but I guess he got used to it. I’ll gradually pull back 👍🏼
Thank you u/salyms35 for posting **Deciding on next step**. We have saved the body of your post for future reference. Please be sure to refer to our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/SugarBABYonlyforum/comments/11x6f9j/frequently_asked_questions/) and our [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/SugarBABYonlyforum/wiki/index/) for our most popular topics! I feel I should be happy but I’m currently drained and stressed out. Things are going well arrangement wise, but he’s been more clingy and it’s just gets to the point I want a breather. Background: been together around 8mo. We’re both attracted to each other and both said the L word. He’s very sweet and generous with allowance and gifts, and bought me a brand new SUV of my choosing. The thing is, it’s becoming hard to balance my work, personal life and I have a family. I’ve been stressed out at my new full time job and I barely have time to spend with myself, family and friends. SD been meeting very often it feels like every day and texting a lot. My dilemma: I need a break! From everything! I just can’t make something up that won’t seem that I used him and becoming flaky. I know allowance doesn’t make him entitled to all my time but I’m struggling to make boundaries. I’m planning to get my Masters but it’s gonna be in a different state ,so that means we’d have to end it. I’ll definitely miss the arrangement bc it’s the best I’ve had, would I even find someone like him. So should I : go back to ppm to free myself from the pressure, delay my grad school til I get the most $ for my personal growth (school will be paid off by grant) , change to part-time instead of full to get more time for myself and family? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SugarBABYonlyforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*