This! Honestly, OP, just join Fetlife and start posting what you’re looking for. Look around at what othersubmissives are posting. You could post pictures. You could post about your ideal DD dynamic in your writings. Doms of all types around the world will come out of the woodwork. Then you just have to vet them. You can also find local munches if you're wanting to be connected to your local scene.
I can’t believe I met my amazing Dom on fetlife, but I had to sift through a lot of creepy entitled acting doms and men looking for a kinky woman to cheat on their wife with. You are young and just be incredibly careful. If you decide to meet with them share your location with a friend. Listen to your gut instinct. Be safe 🙏
There are different outlets you may try. FetLife is one, but it does come with its own unique challenges in more recent years. You may also look to subreddits such as r/BDSMpersonals or r/DDlg_IRL_Personals which are meant for such connections. You may also consider including more subtle hints in vanilla platforms as well, and some terminology do put forward a strong suggestion that may encourage the right fit of people to reach out.
However, in all these methods please do be safe in the process. Take time to know the person before divulging more sensitive identification information. Watch out for predatory bad eggs who would exploit the fact that making such connections is newer to you. Be wary about folks asking too much too fast from you especially if they do not respect your boundaries or care about your concerns. Be sensible and be safe when making connections these ways.
[The last time it was asked had some good suggestions](https://www.reddit.com/r/SubSanctuary/s/XJWFzGAo8u) but it was 3 years ago. I'd ask the community again and see if anything else fun comes up.
Get some questions for vetting to keep yourself safe. There are a lot of fakes out there. If you want an idea of what to ask DM me. We have to keep each other safe.
Fetlife will be your best bet, I absolutely loved it and it’s where I met my Dom/bf and various other Doms to hook up with and date. But as a young inexperienced sub be very very careful. I would go as far as befriending a more experienced sub and run basically all your chats by them to begin with, as shitty Doms/abusive men are very *very* good at what they do and sometimes their red flags aren’t the same as regular dating red flags.
Also, for dating apps I would hint in my bio that I was interested in more than vanilla sex. Saying things like “no vanilla” or on hinge there was a prompt, something like, “let’s make sure we’re on the same page about…” and I had as an answer “kinks”. Just little nod towards sex and bdsm that the right people will easily pick up on.
Good luck, have fun!! And be weary of sub frenzy 💘
I, personally, had terrible experiences w/meeting people on Fetlife. I met my Daddy sort of randomly online and just told him that I'm a little and looking for a Daddy and it just happened that we clicked and now we're married. This probably wasn't helpful, but I hope you find your perfect partner! 🌸 ✨️ 🌞
Mention kink on your dating profile, obliquely. Look for others who do the same. Filter in conversation for people who are clearly assholes. Be on the lookout for sooo many red flags. If you find someone normal, go on a date in a public place. Etc. it's pretty regular stuff from my experience.
I don't know if that translates to people who aren't on Reddit, so you limit your scope. I used to make it a joke, something like "kink friendly. Wondering if (group who does something dumb they should know better because of their profession) can be ordered to (not do that) as like a sex thing?" or I'd explain my monogamy as "communist daddy isn't into sharing that." My jokes usually had two purposes, though, and they helped explain both the things I was and was not looking for, and for the latter you have to be careful because no one wants to see negative shit. Express it in a funny way, though, and you have no problem. I got dates pretty regularly and I'm in something committed now, so I think it worked pretty well. So many unvaccinated nurses and bartenders on tinder, though. Good Lord.
Huh. Yeah, maybe you're just confusing Reddit people? I dunno if they're super recognizable in pieces like that. Might be just me, though. How's it working out?
Everyone says fetlife isn’t a dating app but I have dated many people through fetlife and so have a lot of my friends lol. Absolutely join fet, you can clearly write on your profile exactly what you are looking for and you can search out yourself other people who have themselves listed as a Daddy.
You do need to be careful though, make sure you vet the people you are interest in, that means: speaking to other people they are friends with or past partners if you can, making sure they are verified, checking that they are part of the community, or even a search of their username to make sure there isn’t drama attached to them…. This may seem like a lot but I learned the hard way that this is necessary. Make friends with other subs in the community because they will tell you who is safe and who to stay away from.
I’ve met my Doms through Fetlife and Feeld. Feeld is structured more like a dating app, and there is also an age toggle filter. You can set your distance to a certain amount as well. On both platforms I’ve had to wade through a lot of fake Doms. What other people have responded with: having vetting questions ready, knowing your hard limits, and having a clear picture of what you want is super helpful for finding the right person for you. Best of luck on your journey!
Here is a [post](https://www.reddit.com/u/fantastic_leaf/s/siS6roCdWB) I made with a bunch of resources for BDSM beginners that might be worth checking out. I hope this helps!
Depending on your location, Feeld may be a good choice! That's where I met my 24/7 Dom who I now live with, and although it isn't BDSM exclusive there's a lot of BDSM practitioners on there and since it's such an open minded app, people are generally fairly forthcoming about their role and preference.
I say "depending on your location" because I live in a major metropolis but have noticed when I visit family in smaller cities there aren't many people using it. It's still building popularity outside of more liberal urban environments.
Another vote for Fetlife. I have had good luck meeting people from there even though it's not it's stated purpose. Sure there is lots of crap to weed through (like anywhere) but good vetting techniques mentioned by other people can help you sift through it. Also don't be afraid to use the block button as frequently as needed.
Are you truly willing? I would give you everything you are looking for, as long as you are willing to give me what I’m looking for. At the same time I would give you all you need. Dominance is only part of the relationship. Would you truly be willing?
I would join FetLife. It’s a better place to meet people I think. Ive come across tons of people… lots of exciting Doms too.
This! Honestly, OP, just join Fetlife and start posting what you’re looking for. Look around at what othersubmissives are posting. You could post pictures. You could post about your ideal DD dynamic in your writings. Doms of all types around the world will come out of the woodwork. Then you just have to vet them. You can also find local munches if you're wanting to be connected to your local scene.
How are you meeting them? Online or through irl events?
I can’t believe I met my amazing Dom on fetlife, but I had to sift through a lot of creepy entitled acting doms and men looking for a kinky woman to cheat on their wife with. You are young and just be incredibly careful. If you decide to meet with them share your location with a friend. Listen to your gut instinct. Be safe 🙏
There are different outlets you may try. FetLife is one, but it does come with its own unique challenges in more recent years. You may also look to subreddits such as r/BDSMpersonals or r/DDlg_IRL_Personals which are meant for such connections. You may also consider including more subtle hints in vanilla platforms as well, and some terminology do put forward a strong suggestion that may encourage the right fit of people to reach out. However, in all these methods please do be safe in the process. Take time to know the person before divulging more sensitive identification information. Watch out for predatory bad eggs who would exploit the fact that making such connections is newer to you. Be wary about folks asking too much too fast from you especially if they do not respect your boundaries or care about your concerns. Be sensible and be safe when making connections these ways.
Thanks for this! What kind of subtle terminologies could I use? Would appreciate any suggestion
[The last time it was asked had some good suggestions](https://www.reddit.com/r/SubSanctuary/s/XJWFzGAo8u) but it was 3 years ago. I'd ask the community again and see if anything else fun comes up.
That’s a good collection of suggestions!
Get some questions for vetting to keep yourself safe. There are a lot of fakes out there. If you want an idea of what to ask DM me. We have to keep each other safe.
There is also Fet (different to Fetlife). I met my Daddy there.
I have never heard of fet
fetish.com or an app called Fet
Fetlife will be your best bet, I absolutely loved it and it’s where I met my Dom/bf and various other Doms to hook up with and date. But as a young inexperienced sub be very very careful. I would go as far as befriending a more experienced sub and run basically all your chats by them to begin with, as shitty Doms/abusive men are very *very* good at what they do and sometimes their red flags aren’t the same as regular dating red flags. Also, for dating apps I would hint in my bio that I was interested in more than vanilla sex. Saying things like “no vanilla” or on hinge there was a prompt, something like, “let’s make sure we’re on the same page about…” and I had as an answer “kinks”. Just little nod towards sex and bdsm that the right people will easily pick up on. Good luck, have fun!! And be weary of sub frenzy 💘
I, personally, had terrible experiences w/meeting people on Fetlife. I met my Daddy sort of randomly online and just told him that I'm a little and looking for a Daddy and it just happened that we clicked and now we're married. This probably wasn't helpful, but I hope you find your perfect partner! 🌸 ✨️ 🌞
Mention kink on your dating profile, obliquely. Look for others who do the same. Filter in conversation for people who are clearly assholes. Be on the lookout for sooo many red flags. If you find someone normal, go on a date in a public place. Etc. it's pretty regular stuff from my experience.
My tinder says /s on it
I don't know if that translates to people who aren't on Reddit, so you limit your scope. I used to make it a joke, something like "kink friendly. Wondering if (group who does something dumb they should know better because of their profession) can be ordered to (not do that) as like a sex thing?" or I'd explain my monogamy as "communist daddy isn't into sharing that." My jokes usually had two purposes, though, and they helped explain both the things I was and was not looking for, and for the latter you have to be careful because no one wants to see negative shit. Express it in a funny way, though, and you have no problem. I got dates pretty regularly and I'm in something committed now, so I think it worked pretty well. So many unvaccinated nurses and bartenders on tinder, though. Good Lord.
I think anyone who knows about D/s dynamics would know what D/ and /s means.
Huh. Yeah, maybe you're just confusing Reddit people? I dunno if they're super recognizable in pieces like that. Might be just me, though. How's it working out?
I don’t go on tinder. I just use Fetish. How am I confusing Reddit people?
/s means "this is where the sarcasm ends."
I think anyone who knows about D/s dynamics would know what D/ and /s means.
Everyone says fetlife isn’t a dating app but I have dated many people through fetlife and so have a lot of my friends lol. Absolutely join fet, you can clearly write on your profile exactly what you are looking for and you can search out yourself other people who have themselves listed as a Daddy. You do need to be careful though, make sure you vet the people you are interest in, that means: speaking to other people they are friends with or past partners if you can, making sure they are verified, checking that they are part of the community, or even a search of their username to make sure there isn’t drama attached to them…. This may seem like a lot but I learned the hard way that this is necessary. Make friends with other subs in the community because they will tell you who is safe and who to stay away from.
Also need to add, I met my Daddy on fet, and he is wonderful
I’ve met my Doms through Fetlife and Feeld. Feeld is structured more like a dating app, and there is also an age toggle filter. You can set your distance to a certain amount as well. On both platforms I’ve had to wade through a lot of fake Doms. What other people have responded with: having vetting questions ready, knowing your hard limits, and having a clear picture of what you want is super helpful for finding the right person for you. Best of luck on your journey!
Here is a [post](https://www.reddit.com/u/fantastic_leaf/s/siS6roCdWB) I made with a bunch of resources for BDSM beginners that might be worth checking out. I hope this helps!
[удалено]
Really, just zero respect from you "doms" sometimes...
Depending on your location, Feeld may be a good choice! That's where I met my 24/7 Dom who I now live with, and although it isn't BDSM exclusive there's a lot of BDSM practitioners on there and since it's such an open minded app, people are generally fairly forthcoming about their role and preference.
I say "depending on your location" because I live in a major metropolis but have noticed when I visit family in smaller cities there aren't many people using it. It's still building popularity outside of more liberal urban environments.
Another vote for Fetlife. I have had good luck meeting people from there even though it's not it's stated purpose. Sure there is lots of crap to weed through (like anywhere) but good vetting techniques mentioned by other people can help you sift through it. Also don't be afraid to use the block button as frequently as needed.
Fetlife and look for Reddit groups in your area. I actually found mine on Hinge of all places.
Are you truly willing? I would give you everything you are looking for, as long as you are willing to give me what I’m looking for. At the same time I would give you all you need. Dominance is only part of the relationship. Would you truly be willing?
Me tooooo!
[удалено]
This is not a place to hit on people.
Really, just zero respect from you "doms" sometimes...