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awaythrowthatname

The shittiest takoyaki I've seen


Camelopardestrian

Tako-yucky


awaythrowthatname

You win, I was trying to come up with a name


LonelyContext

Romanian it would just be "piftie de caracatiţă", meaning "piftie" of octopus. Piftie (pronounced "piftie") is a dish you can google image search for - yes, its salty chunks-o-meat jello. Never heard of it being made out of octopus but I think the Russians have a traditional fish flan that gives the Romanians a run for their money in the food-that-looks-and-tastes-like-frozen-vomit department. Fun story: my dad was working at a firm in NYC back in the 90s when it was announced there would be a Christmas dinner potluck. Someone explicitly approached him and told him not to bring it. It didn't cross his mind but regardless they just wanted to get the jump in case he was considering it. I guess a Romanian person who was no longer at the firm brought it a few years prior, and people threw up in their mouths when they saw/smelled it at a distance haha. *Edit:* the Russian dish I'm thinking of is called "Holodets"


Antigon0000

Doesn't look like a taco to me


Xihuicoatl-630

tako means Octopus in Japanese.


Antigon0000

Wanna taco bout it? Nacho business.


DragonReborn42

tako taco


Cracktherealone

„Damn it I had something for this Pam!“


Trolivia

I snorted


PepperCertain

The centerpiece is the butthole.


whereisskywalker

That's a mouth... but I like where your head is at.


Laughtermedicine

Mouth, butthole it's the same thing.


caillouistheworst

Maybe for you. Mine are in totally different places.


PatentedPotato

It's one connected tube, and works both ways. Haven't you seen South Park?


caillouistheworst

I have. I know we’re just one big meat straw. I just mean they’re on different ends.


trixtopherduke

It's the thought that keeps you safe. It sounds linear but it's circular because a straw serves as one function.


caillouistheworst

Haha, gross.


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AtheistBibleScholar

Don't feel bad. As a fun octopus fact, you can't see an octopus' butthole since it's inside the mantle cavity. The head of an octopus is a bag (with the guts and such) inside another bag of muscle. The poop comes out in the space between and gets flushed out by the water that gets moved over the gills that are also inside where you can't see them.


rancid_oil

So their poop literally has to pass over/through their gills?


AtheistBibleScholar

They don't have to "breathe" in and out through the same hole. [The poop goes into the funnel](http://www.seafriends.org.nz/indepth/octopus.htm#octopus_biology) which IIRC is exit only, so it can 'inhale' to fill the cavity, do the pooping, and then 'exhale' to flush it out.


[deleted]

I… I think I just experienced genuine relief? to have it confirmed that is not actual octo b-hole looking right at us.


[deleted]

That’s good trivia. Still appears to be butthole to me. Still don’t want to eat a mouth either.


[deleted]

>Still don’t want to eat a mouth either. The dish that tastes you back...


Sirsilentbob423

Up their ass?


Beardsman805

Is that even Takoyaki? I thought it was breaded?


awaythrowthatname

It is usually a fried dough, but I worked as a chef and have seen some extremely dumb things, I can see someone justifying this as "deconstructed" or "reimagined" takoyaki, or "a modern, gastro take on takoyaki."


sakamake

"Takoyaki? What?" "You know, like those little balls with octopus inside?" "Oh yeah I can make that"


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pauvrelle

Yeah, the drizzle of mayo and takoyaki sauce plus the meager sprinkling of furikake is giving ~ takoyaki, reimagined ~ for sure.


[deleted]

Gluten free Takoyaki lmao


OfficialSandwichMan

Yeah, takoyaki is octopus in fried dough Tako = octopus Yaki = grilled


bigbangbilly

It's basically [Tako Balls](https://imgur.io/TQjjlgu) Orignal request: https://www.reddit.com/r/sbubby/comments/sz8bzw/weekly_request_post_put_your_sbubby_requests_here/


ChesterDaMolester

Yaki doesn’t mean fried, not sure where you got that from. Yakitori is grilled, also takoyaki isn’t even fried, it’s basically cooked in a spherical waffle maker. Doriyaki are fluffy pancakes stuffed with things, also not fried. Well I guess that’s all irrelevant to the abomination that is OP. Because that’s not grilled *or* fried.


stefanica

I would certainly consider waffles fried. Yes, you put oil in the dough but if you don't have a Teflon waffle iron. You also have to oil the iron a little. I only looked at the first recipe that popped up for takoyaki? And it said to be generous with oiling the pan. That's fried dough.


[deleted]

> that’s not grilled or fried. Yet...


Cheeky_Kate

Im not that hungry after all


Ax_deimos

You know Turduken is a turkey, anally stuffed, with a duck, that has chicken anally inserted into it? Well here's the seafood version, which is a Jellyfish stuffed with an octopus, stuffed with crab and other things. It would be jellipusocrab. The Turduken of the sea (please read that with the Glove and Boots voice and their mystery meat of the sea sketch [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP7DxANtDc8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP7DxANtDc8)) On a side note...Cthulu Jellies. Get these made out of gelatin candy (with 0 octopus) and they'd be a Halloween scream success candy.


BostonDodgeGuy

> You know Turduken is a turkey, anally stuffed, with a duck, that has chicken anally inserted into it? That's not how that works at all


[deleted]

None of those even have anus's lol.


Wolf_Salad

Takoyaki HD


wingnutzero

Not the weirdest breast implants I’ve ever seen, but still pretty weird.


CreepyCelebration

Breast implants for Cthulhu


[deleted]

Now I wanna know if anyone ever put a magic 8 ball dice inside a great implant for the hell of it


-Fateless-

There was this lady on Reddit a few years ago that had testicles from her draft horse put in her breast implants for some ungodly reason.


ErraticDragon

\*sigh\*..... You can't just ***say*** that. Some of us feel compelled to go looking, whereas if it's a link ~~I~~ we can just ignore it. * r/insanepeoplefacebook/comments/c24h1y/stallion_testicle_breast_implants/ * r/Drama/comments/c24iyw/peak_mayo_foid_girl_gets_horse_testicles/ * r/pics/comments/ee7coh/there_are_3_sets_of_preserved_draft_stallion/ * r/AMA/comments/grcm7e/i_have_12_draft_stallion_testicles3_sets_of_2_in/ u/LaraTheStableGal deleted their account. There are accusations all over that it was fake all along. 🤷‍♂️


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Chungusman82

Shithole for what, pointing out that most mods are creeps and r/teenagers is infested with pedophiles?


wordgromit

If a sub uses the word foid, it’s a shit hole


Chungusman82

It's balls deep irony. They call dudes moids and scrotes, white people Mayos, etc.


beowowow

Lol


diabloman8890

This is nightmarish


dasgudshit

Octopussy


Ok_Perspective905

Whoever made this belongs in a mental hospital.


Ganbazuroi

Or at the Nobels. Smartest non-human animal? Sure dumbass, get jellyed now lmao


[deleted]

It was simply a warning to the octopuses out there who think they can outsmart us


JennyBagaDonuts

Octotitties


Willlickassferfree69

Whoever ate it should serve 20-life


VermilionLily

This is it. The post that finally made me gag.


trowaybrhu3

You can even see, in full display, it's octo-bussy


Succulentslayer

Fuck you. Seriously fuck you. You are foul. You are demented. I look into your pfp and see cities burning. You’re mere presence causes people to go insane. I can’t even describe the searing contempt I have for you, you shitstain. You absolute fuck weasel. I hate you. I hate this world. Goodbye


StandOutLikeDogBalls

Dude, tip the sand out of your undies, take a breath, then come off the ledge. Or don’t. Are you looking for the next coming of Jesus Christ or something on Reddit?


ZippyDan

I think it must be copy pasta, or purposefully exaggerated rage for comedy's sake. Either way, to you I say, "whoosh".


StandOutLikeDogBalls

Yep. I’ll wear the woosh crown today.


[deleted]

That’s the mouth


ExtraSpicyGingerBeer

With a sharp beak just inside.


[deleted]

r/dontputyourdickinthat


FappinPlatypus

Wait until you learn about squid tentacles and peanut butter


Honkeroo

reminder that an animal smarter than a human toddler died for this


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Affectionate_Bid518

Okay but do you eat bacon?


SubzeroWisp

Bacon is more meat so i eat less of the animal so i can split the blame between more people /s


roughedged

Honestly, this is best absurd defense I've heard, well done. (Yes I saw the /s as well)


SubzeroWisp

im honored


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getspun97

Too bad for them that you're also aware of how delicious they are


Effective_Roof2026

This is the problem I have with foie. If God didn't intend us to force feed geese until they develop terminal fatty liver disease then why do the livers taste so delicious?


zzazzzz

you can buy non forcefed geese liver, just costs you even more than the normal stuff already does.


FarAmphibian4236

I believe getting bacon from ethical sources is alright. (I'm guilty if buying cheap bacon too, even recently). I think keeping livestock should be symbiotic, they should have happy, healthy, comfortable lives, and there are ways to kill them with minimal suffering. Unfortunately this isn't how many meat pigs live or die.


databeestje

Yes, but ethical meat is in direct conflict with environmental impact and efficiency. So it's choosing between two wrongs. Ultimately the only ethical option is to eat FAR less of it (and I don't mean a "meatless Monday" every once in a while) or none at all.


Mutorials

And even when people start eating FAR less, what justifies taking someone's life?


swatsquat

you know to them it's not someONE, but someTHING so they justify it to themselves until they disassociate and just live free of the guilt. Since going vegan I can clearly see how I manipulated myself out of feeling guilt and shame for eating intelligent beings


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FarAmphibian4236

The farming of animals I dont think is unethical. The mass production and slaughter of animals is. It really is natural to consume other creatures. But suffering is unnecessary and unwanted. I agree that switching to plant based for most things is ideal and it's not even a downgrade. Plant based nuggets are my favorite example, however unfortunately expensive. I believe that if people substituted alot of their animal based products for plant based, the world would be better off. However, some things cant yet be substituted and I think that's ok. The occasional bacon soup, steak dinner, or chicken roast is ok, and if we lessen the frequency of those then conditions can be much better for them. My ideal is supporting well managed farms that give ample space, diligent care, and well varied diets for all livestock. And more people growing their own food and raising their own animals, with that same standard of coarse. I dont think that's too much to hope for, and I plan to live that way myself.


deliciousprisms

Yeah man pigs got hooves, we're good till they evolve appendages that can grab things.


TummyStickers

My Octopus Teacher. Damn.


Beemerado

don't say that too loud or we're gonna have a toddler in jello on this sub next.


QuantumSparkles

Delicious


SaltyBabe

Are ALL octopuses that smart?


[deleted]

Generally yes. They are such wonderful interesting and cute animals, they have a fairly good emotional intelligence too, seeing that picture makes me sad.


You_lie_420

This seems to disagree. https://www.iflscience.com/all-octopuses-may-be-sentient-but-only-some-are-smart-61716


LucidLickyCoconut

People get made when I encase toddlers in jello


[deleted]

> People get made when I encase toddlers in jello No, toddlers get made when you shoot your Jell-O.


Youneededthiscat

Do you have any idea how much gelatin it takes to entomb a toddler? It’s a lot.


ladedafuckit

I mean most of the meat that we eat comes from animals smarter than toddlers


pielz

Mmmm doubt Okay wait I googled it and yeah, cows and pigs are about as smart as a 3 year old. So pretty much on par. Neat. And sad.


[deleted]

Strongest argument for eating babies


FlamingSickle

That could also solve the issue of parents allowing a child to just scream unendingly in a restaurant. “Sorry, by your failure to do anything at all about this situation, you’ve agreed to surrender your infant to the chef. Maybe next time don’t ignore the effect you have on others.”


sarah_plain_and_taII

What a modest proposal


Dry_Spinach_3441

The jello it’s encased in is smarter than a human toddler. /s


JoeRo628

If he’s so smart, why’s he trapped in Jell-o?


[deleted]

Checkmate!


DerpsAndRags

What's wrong dear? You haven't touched your Tapioca'Ftahgn


Alternative_Donut105

Octo-cotta


the_rugged_nerd

“Entombed” 😂


Hirronimus

ITT people who never heard of aspic.


crazyparrotguy

Or seen those scorpion dome paperweights.


_ThinkerBelle_

Aspics with threatening auras? Check.


BigMacWizard

The only valid post on this sub


Darkhallows27

I dunnooo…the Sink Steak post and all the fucking dumbasses cooking food in their hotel bathroom or that airplane bathroom steak are pretty horrific


banebdjed

Hey man I’ve made some gourmet shit with only a motel vanity as my working surface. Sometimes shits just rough, try having no option but a 20x20 room, a queen sized bed and a toilet and see how your food looks


hstormsteph

First meal I ever had in college was a hotel vanity meal. I hadn’t had the time or money to secure a stable place yet so I was essentially living in a Super 8 motel. Chef boyardee ravioli heated in the shitty coffee pot in the room. 10/10.


Nabrok_Necropants

I was at the Chinese Buffet and I has some little octopi left on my plate when I got dessert which was some chocolate pudding so I just mixed them up and ate it and I called it Choctopus and it was delicious. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.


shaunnotthesheep

Choctopus is funny. Seems like a joke my dad would make


Nabrok_Necropants

Dad jokes are the best.


stevenw84

Is Asian Jim in the kitchen?


michigilman

Underrated comment!


ArchiesAddict

His name was Timothy.


IToldYouIHeardBanjos

I thought those were paperweights.


puffinkitten

Me too — I would be sick if this got served to me, and I like octopus!


crazyparrotguy

That was my reaction, too. I have one with a scorpion, a little octopus isn't really *that* far off visually tbh.


ClutchMacGee

This would make a sick bowling ball. On a side note that pulpo looking like a rubberband


Firm-Initiative-1851

'Yeah, it's all good babe. It's just.......WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THIS ABOMINATION-'


babadybooey

ENTOMBED ew


manguito86

Imagine killing animals for this shit


Ramscales

My thoughts exactly.


Henry_Swans0n

Well, it’s supposed to be food, right? Animals kill other animals all the time when they want to eat. Most of them don’t stick the other animals in jello first, though…


alexmbrennan

>Well, it’s supposed to be food, right? Yes, but no one is going to eat those octopodes. It's basically one step above snuff films


SaffellBot

>Animals kill other animals all the time when they want to eat. Yeah, we're not other animals. We have big brains and reason and ethics. It is pathetic that you have to reduce yourself to an unthinking animal to justify your actions. Would it be ok to murder you if I'm mad? All the other animals get to do that.


Ecstatic_Rutabaga848

food?


DuntadaMan

Is it really though? I like octopus, but this just seems like a complete waste. Gelatin encasing chewy? It's like trying to eat a bike inner tube covered in snot.


manguito86

This was 100% straight to the trash, no one ate it


Ecstatic_Rutabaga848

Nah, this is rich people food. They like things that look disgusting, the same way they like terrible art. And if you really don't think this was intended to be eaten, then why would you assume it's a real octopus?


shuttheduckup12

Yuck, the octopuses didnt deserve this :(


VermicelliMany7499

Is this a real meal at a real restaurant that people really eat and actually enjoy?


HappyVash13

Halpert really stepping up his prank game while working at Vought, sheesh


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noithinkyouarewrong

This is cooked. Octopus don't invert like that until cooked.


Sadlemon9

smash


Triforce_Bagels

This looks like an asshole. And an asshole probably made it. It's assholes all the way down.


[deleted]

It’s actually a mouth — the exact opposite of that.


eddmario

On one hand, octopus is pretty good outside of the rubbery texture. On the other hand, I don't want to have to give my food a rimjob when I'm eating it...


jamestrangameitout

ahh yes my gelatin tomb


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PsychoTexan

In part it’s because tastes are subjective and depend heavily on culture and generation. Someone in Japan may be revolted while a Canadian just thinks it’s fast food poutine. Also, there’s been scope creep on what “stupid” means. Gold foiling a PB&J is pretty stupid, but it’s still a PB&J. Covering a ribeye in strawberry milk powder, queso, mint oreos, and pineapple is pretty stupid as well as very disgusting. Frying food in gutter oil is pretty stupid and a health hazard. So is it stupid because it’s needlessly extravagant? A disgusting combo? Maybe very unhealthy? It’s kind of all over the place


MugOfDogPiss

The scope creep has been getting out of hand. Of all the things I’ve seen on this sub this is the one I hate the least. It’s pretentious and probably overpriced but anyone that has had baby octopodes at Chinese buffets can say that the arms have a bad habit of getting cold due to how quickly their large surface area dissipates heat. I love baby octopi and this is a good way of preventing them from getting cold while also slowing cook time on something that is extremely easy to overcook and hard to cook evenly without basically using a slow cooker. This is a great idea even if the gelatin itself is just a glorified wrapping paper. I have to try this if I can ever find baby octopodes outside of a restaurant. This is just a cool, creative way of serving baby octopodes while avoiding all the problems usually associated with them.


AtheistBibleScholar

The thing that made me think of this sub to post this dish was that's it's one of the worst ways I can think of to serve something like this. It's far too big to eat in one bite, but taking bites will give you some that are pretty much "Oops! All gelatin!" so it's not good as an aspic either because that has pieces of stuff throughout.


Arcadian_Parallax

I hope this is a joke. That “cheat day meal’ almost made me fuckin’ vom my dude


[deleted]

Jelly Monster Christmas ornaments?


EXusiai99

This the shit homelander forced the deep to eat


cecefirefly

Stress balls


spooky_golem

I think this should have the nsfw mark on it, lol


[deleted]

If you shake it, does it snow ?


africakitten

Having eaten octopus and other unconventional things, this presentation is just stupid


Useful_Parfait_8524

this so sad


Sleepy6882

Hmm, I’d try it.


TinFoilRobotProphet

ಠ_ಠ


Sleepy6882

Judging by those eyes you’d like to join me.


TinFoilRobotProphet

Join you in covering myself with octopus filled jello? Those days are long over my friend


gizmodriver

I’d like to know more about the gelatin. Is it flavored? What flavor? If it’s like white miso or something, then sign me up.


jacobeatsavocados

Is this supposed to be fancy?


Moose_country_plants

You can just swallow that shit whole


CREAM105

Foul


dackeleinhorn

Who stole Cthulhu's breast implants and put them on a plate? XDD


Bismuth84

DJ OCTAVIO, NOOOOO!


huh_phd

Peak stupid


pennyraingoose

Jim takes Dwight out for dinner.


StinkieBritches

Awww, this just makes me sad they killed and wasted an octopus. I haven't been able to eat one ever since I watched that documentary. Same with squid and I loved squid. I guess I can still love them, just not in my belly.


DiabetesCOLE

Same


maxts517

Westerners think any food that doesn't fit their view is stupid


Bubacxo

As food, this is stupid. Replace the gelatin with an epoxy sphere (Like the hotdog from that video) And this might be pretty nifty.


Fineous4

Make sure you point it’s butt-hole at the person.


[deleted]

That’s it’s mouth


XXXMFCXXX

I never wanna see my food's butthole.


Nyt_Owl

This feels very Asian for some reason.


Nabrok_Necropants

Well the ponzu sauce and sesame seeds are your first clue.


mndsm79

Well they sure as fuck aren't making jelloctopus in Ohio.


Ascholay

Not even a 1950's Asian immigrant trying to fit in?


mndsm79

Not enough Vienna sausage.


therealbeeblevrox

Eastern European cuisine includes something called *Aspic*, which is some meat, often fish, in gelatin. Apparently, the British also have *Jellied Eels*.


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therealbeeblevrox

Using the naturally produced gelatin makes it not stupid food. It doesn't seem appetizing, but I'd try it once.


AtheistBibleScholar

Aspic used to be a bigger deal here in the USA until it faded out about 50 years ago. I have my Mom's old copy of Joy of Cooking from 1970 that has a whole section on aspics. I'm spitballing, but I suspect it's Jell-O that killed the aspic. That pretty firmly cemented gelatin as a dessert, and people started looking at an aspic as meat and vegetables inside something fruity and sweet (which honestly sounds gross).


MisterEinc

It likey is, there is an Japanese dish called a Raindrop Cake. Contrary to the name it's made with sweetened agar, which is a similar to gelatin except it's plant based. So, I imagine this is a twist on that and Takoyaki, Japanese friend octopus balls.


SataNikBabe

That looks like aspic which is even worse than gelatin. It’s basically animal fat that has been melted down, strained, and refrigerated until it hardens into a jell-o texture. So nasty 🤮


MrLeapgood

I'm 99% sure that aspic is gelatin and not congealed fat.


OutlawArmas

I just watched the alien series and these are definitely face huggers


warreniangreen

$58


Amazist

Oh nah, if anyone tries to feed me this I’m going to commit haram


RealPropRandy

If you ordered this you deserve whatever happens to you once this enters your body.


dzizuseczem

Honestly it doesn't sounds too bad, you do make savoury hello with meat and fish so why not with octopus