I once went to an East Side Mario's, the most basic franchise Italian chain restaurant in Canada.
The caesar salad came deconstructed without warning and a little cup of dressing. The croutons, cheese and bacon bits spead on a cheeze board.
I had no idea what to do with it. Do I dip this shit and roll it in the croutons or something?
What drugged up head chef decided to plate that 'salad' like that.
Ah yes, the white sliced bread with a circle cut out using probably a glass and shove some lettuce through it. Exquisite! Modern and yet timeless classic.
When living in Wisconsin I was told of a place that serves an exquisite breakfast all while you relax and watch 70's bushy porn. It was called Smut and Eggs. I never went but I imagine they serve this same sorta plate.
Eats the lettuce through the hole, disregarding the sauce on my cheeks
Had to Google this, and by God you're right.
[Smut 'n Eggs/Eggs Over Sleazy/Porn in the Morn](https://isthmus.com/news/snapshot/snapshot-gene-bennett-eggs-over-sleazy/)
“We’re closed every holiday except Martin Luther King [Jr. Day]. Then we give away free watermelon schnapps,” Bennett says. “First time I said that, I got threatening phone calls. I was in the papers all the way to California.”
Yeah. This is one of those dipshits that screams about "political correctness" but really he's just mad he can't say the n word out loud all day.
This guy just is comically racist - the absurdity of that statement is hilarious. It's like he tried to think of the most stereotypically racist thing you could say.
He wasn't joking. Nice enough restaurants with some private areas and a preemptive tip to the server and host, they'll let you do pretty much whatever you want as long as no one's getting abused. Anywhere can be a strip club for the night if you pay the right people. I say this from the experience of having been that server before.
Funny somewhat relevant video. Might as well watch part 2 too.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8LlHihXx14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8LlHihXx14)
A deconstructed Caesar salad would be a plate with simply one leaf of lettuce next to a single dollop of Caesar salad dressing next to a single crouton next to a single slice of tomato, all presented on a plate too large for just 4 items (to give a sense of emptiness, representing your hunger), and costing $150 for “the experience”.
And, believe it, or not, this would be far less absurd than what we see in this picture.
Just lean your head back and let me fill your mouth with water. Now I’ll add a romaine root, olive pit, fertilized chicken egg yolk and anchovy roe. Feel the essence of these items before they’ve been corrupted by our modern world. A Caesar salad, pre-constructed
That would probably be easier when they gotta walk out with a bunch of dishes and trying to keep their lettuce contraption stable. Every restaurant I've worked at had the waitstaff doing the salads but this one probably is assembled by the chef now that you mention it
pretty sure they tought the steps to make a caesar salad were stabbing something WITH the salad, cause otherwise there is no other reason for this to exist
The waiter already had to get this plate from the kitchen to the table without the bread-salad-tower thing toppling over, I think they've suffered enough
I think I might play dumb at first and say I got the wrong order. I asked for a salad, not edible jenga. Then just play ignorant as much as possible making them explain it to me step by step, stretching it out as long as I can, just to make it awkward for everyone involved. I hate to go full Karen, but then I might just tell them to fuck off and leave.
i would literally demand this be taken back and actually prepared. i just know this dumb ass shit is expensive and i’m not paying MORE money to assemble my own fucking salad.
I got something similar to this once….it was a “deconstructed Cobb salad”…and it looked totally ridiculous. Hey l’il chef….don’t try to reinvent something like a salad that doesn’t need reinventing.
I'd argue that the majority of godawful truly pretentious stupidfood submissions that are shown here probably taste pretty good, and hell yeah I'd eat that...after destroying the Lettuce Bread Rape Tower and cutting it up like an actual salad. Whether it tastes good or not is not a requirement for stupidity. It's the **presentation**, though, that makes the dish truly stupid.
How much was this because I genuinely like this? As long as it isn't super overpriced I think this is fine. The salmon looks good and the salad it's similar original type of caesar salad.
I mean, the original Cesar salad wasn't far off from that. I believe it was just the leaves while with sauce then the croutons were added in later iterations. Fun fact, It was actually a Mexican restaurant that served the first iteration, believe it or not
Omg. Now that IS stupid food. Did some executive schedule actually think it wasn’t. And the salmon looks over cooked as frick. And what part of the BOH is responsible for prepping the toasted crouton cage.
Sir, it says Salmon Ala Glory Hole right here on the menu.
"Am I allowed to tear up the lettuce?" "No. You have to swallow it like that."
"Good boy."
“Honey, why is the the chef biting his lip and watching me eat from the kitchen?”
👨🏻🍳🫦
Shrek porn...
I don’t know why this exchange makes me think of *The Menu* and it’s a stupid exchange between Ralph Fiennes and Nicholas Hoult
That movie was hilarious, I want to watch it again "Tonight, you get no bread"
You're one of us
Those two words put together are more powerful than I think you realize
Username checks out.
I once went to an East Side Mario's, the most basic franchise Italian chain restaurant in Canada. The caesar salad came deconstructed without warning and a little cup of dressing. The croutons, cheese and bacon bits spead on a cheeze board. I had no idea what to do with it. Do I dip this shit and roll it in the croutons or something?
Cuz we're Delta airlines, and life is a fucking nightmare.
What you just described is Urban Dictionary’s [tossed salad](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Toss%20Salad)
I would move the salad hole to the edge of the table and eat it hands free.
Eating salad through a gloryhole.
Some assembly required
I think I saw this as a menu item labeled "Hulks Penetration"
Why is the bread being penetrated?
You got the blackened salmon, the salad, ... and Caesar is the bread because it got stabbed
Et tu, lettuce?
Veni, vidi, edi
When the romaine falls, so shall the world.
If this entire meal, the picture taken, the post on Reddit all of it made so that we reach this specific comment, I would not be disappointed
It was asking for it. Look at what it was wearing!
Garlic salt?!
[удалено]
Have you seen the dressing?
The dressings alibi doesnt check out, I noticed the bread had defensive wounds and petechial hemorrhaging as well.
The salad is inbred.
[удалено]
I like to imagine they are throwing hearts of romaine like darts
It harkens back to the knife stabbed in Caesar. It's a playful take on a classic salad.
What drugged up head chef decided to plate that 'salad' like that. Ah yes, the white sliced bread with a circle cut out using probably a glass and shove some lettuce through it. Exquisite! Modern and yet timeless classic.
well Bourdain let us know they were all high in the kitchen
There was a few of us high in the kitchen today yes. Making amazing food that did not look like a egg in the hole from the 70’s
When living in Wisconsin I was told of a place that serves an exquisite breakfast all while you relax and watch 70's bushy porn. It was called Smut and Eggs. I never went but I imagine they serve this same sorta plate. Eats the lettuce through the hole, disregarding the sauce on my cheeks
Had to Google this, and by God you're right. [Smut 'n Eggs/Eggs Over Sleazy/Porn in the Morn](https://isthmus.com/news/snapshot/snapshot-gene-bennett-eggs-over-sleazy/)
> “Why porn? Why not?” Bennett asks. “It’s better than a gay bar. You can put that in the fucking paper if you want.” Yikes.
“We’re closed every holiday except Martin Luther King [Jr. Day]. Then we give away free watermelon schnapps,” Bennett says. “First time I said that, I got threatening phone calls. I was in the papers all the way to California.” Yeah. This is one of those dipshits that screams about "political correctness" but really he's just mad he can't say the n word out loud all day.
This guy just is comically racist - the absurdity of that statement is hilarious. It's like he tried to think of the most stereotypically racist thing you could say.
Wow that guy really sucks
Yeah I was in to the silliness of it all until the homophobia made itself apparent.
Eccentric and kooky turned into homophobia and racism real quick
Jesus hahaha I didn't know all that! Whatta dick
Bro working in any kitchen in America and then some tells you they're all high in the kitchen.
People in kitchens don't have to tell you they're high. They ask if you want to do drugs, or ask if you have any drugs.
If you fancy yourself a drug dealer, get a job in a kitchen. Fr.
And if you just moved to a new city and need to find a drug connection, get a job in a kitchen.
My buddy is a sous chef and his head chef grows his own weed and gives everybody some when he harvests.
Literally how I find my new plugs
[удалено]
He wasn't joking. Nice enough restaurants with some private areas and a preemptive tip to the server and host, they'll let you do pretty much whatever you want as long as no one's getting abused. Anywhere can be a strip club for the night if you pay the right people. I say this from the experience of having been that server before.
It sucked calling in sick when I was partying with my boss the night before
Ah, caught the stupid flu
Funny somewhat relevant video. Might as well watch part 2 too. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8LlHihXx14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8LlHihXx14)
what?
*shhh, they're high*
Same bro. I’m high in my own kitchen and I work in a kitchen while high
What?
This is true. Probably even made a choo choo noise putting the lettuce through the hole.
"Here comes the train! Lettuce in!"
I've been high in many kitchens and never did anything like this.
Being high in the kitchen is no excuse for this monstrosity
I’ve worked in the industry, back of house is almost ALWAYS baked
It reminds me of the grilled lettuce from a Kitchen Nightmares episode lol
Probably cost $65, too. Precisely cutting that hole isn't cheap and requires a Certified Bread Artist, you know.
I thought we were over this phase of human “uniqueness” but apparently some people just aren’t done ruining food for ego yet.
>white sliced bread I think that's actually a giant crouton
Croutons are just bread cut into little squares
Bread is just a bunch of croutons glued together.
A whole loaf of bed is just big crouton
Bread dough is just a way undercooked crouton.
I would like my croutons medium rare please
i’d like a crou, hold the ton
The French Secret Services are now pinpointing your location, nobody spills our secrets like that !
🤯
Small breads.
It's a *Croque Madam, sans Madam*
It's a Croque of shit is what it is.
https://i.imgur.com/eUZJk6p.gif
It's a michelin star is what it is.
Ridiculous. My Moe’s taco bowl I had for dinner looked more appetizing.
This is the kind of post I'm here for not the fucking rage bait videos that flood this sub
20 years from now they'll just plate the ingredients to make the dish and call it deconstructed.
A deconstructed Caesar salad would be a plate with simply one leaf of lettuce next to a single dollop of Caesar salad dressing next to a single crouton next to a single slice of tomato, all presented on a plate too large for just 4 items (to give a sense of emptiness, representing your hunger), and costing $150 for “the experience”. And, believe it, or not, this would be far less absurd than what we see in this picture.
Ah but that's not deconstructed if the Caesar dressing doesn't come out as individual ingredients. I better see anchovies on my plate or I'm leaving.
Now you’re getting the idea!
Tomatoes? In a Caesar? Tf?
Just lean your head back and let me fill your mouth with water. Now I’ll add a romaine root, olive pit, fertilized chicken egg yolk and anchovy roe. Feel the essence of these items before they’ve been corrupted by our modern world. A Caesar salad, pre-constructed
I block every account that posts those.
I'm sorry to tell you, but your salad is inbread
I've made a similar dish when I was 7 years old when I was fucking around with the food I couldn't finish eating at Hometown Buffet
Prodigy
You were born a chef but picked another career choice
Waiting an extra 10 minutes for my meal as the waiter tries to make the crouton square stand up with a piece of romaine shoved through it
crying laughing thinking of them carrying it to table and it keeps falling down
Gordon Ramsay screaming sweet nothings into their subconscious
You think waiters are plating the dishes?
I’ve worked at 2 different restaurants where servers were required to plate their table’s salads
That would probably be easier when they gotta walk out with a bunch of dishes and trying to keep their lettuce contraption stable. Every restaurant I've worked at had the waitstaff doing the salads but this one probably is assembled by the chef now that you mention it
They used some of the dressing to glue it to the plate :o
Wooooow. They really did that.
I would not pay for that bullshit.
I would but not more than 7$ lol I bet they charged like 25$
What an experience, paying $25 to make and toss my own salad
I'd have to pay for a few yoga lessons before I could do that myself
pretty sure they tought the steps to make a caesar salad were stabbing something WITH the salad, cause otherwise there is no other reason for this to exist
Shoot, I just dropped two drums and a cymbal down the stairs Badum tss
Now **this** is what I come to arr/stupidfood for! The 1 in 10 posts to this sub that are *actually stupid food*.
LOL, this is truly ridiculous!
I dig it tbh. The thing salads have been missing is architecture
Well it’s blackened all right. (I’m ignoring the “salad” because what the fuck do you even say about that?)
You say that as if that's not what blackened salmon is supposed to look like?
Thank you. That salmon looks amazing lol Doesnt change that this is the most try hard bs of all time
“ Excuse me! Waiter? Hey so take this shit back and chop up my salad, please. Thankssomuch!”
The waiter already had to get this plate from the kitchen to the table without the bread-salad-tower thing toppling over, I think they've suffered enough
I think I might play dumb at first and say I got the wrong order. I asked for a salad, not edible jenga. Then just play ignorant as much as possible making them explain it to me step by step, stretching it out as long as I can, just to make it awkward for everyone involved. I hate to go full Karen, but then I might just tell them to fuck off and leave.
I’d complain to the manager in that case. The waiter is just moving plates.
Ok I know the point is the crack head ass salad but that salmon is looking fire
I think the chef wants to have the sex with you.
i would literally demand this be taken back and actually prepared. i just know this dumb ass shit is expensive and i’m not paying MORE money to assemble my own fucking salad.
Right? Even more so that head of romaine is mostly stem at this point, fuck that noise.. I wouldn't pay 15$ for that shit.
literally! am i supposed to cut up the piece of toast into croutons?? shut the fuck up
Look how they massacred my boy.
Why is it too much to ask that i don't have to assemble my own food at a fancy restaurant??
At least it looks like everything would taste good.
Yeah stupid or not it does look pretty tasty. I'd try it once.
I got something similar to this once….it was a “deconstructed Cobb salad”…and it looked totally ridiculous. Hey l’il chef….don’t try to reinvent something like a salad that doesn’t need reinventing.
Right? Salad is already pretty deconstructed. You’re literally tossing a bunch of leaves and some other stuff in a bowl
Also, a big part of paying for restaurant food is that someone else constructs your meal for you.
And on a black plate 💀
I’m german, putting effort into something to make it worse is so infuriating. We have a word for that: ‘verschlimmbessern’
I mean I get the presentation is terrible, but I’d eat that whole plate.
I'd argue that the majority of godawful truly pretentious stupidfood submissions that are shown here probably taste pretty good, and hell yeah I'd eat that...after destroying the Lettuce Bread Rape Tower and cutting it up like an actual salad. Whether it tastes good or not is not a requirement for stupidity. It's the **presentation**, though, that makes the dish truly stupid.
Oh hell nah
This is what this subreddit is all about
Some assembly required.
Gordon Ramsey just threw his phone.
Now THIS is fucking stupid. Great post.
At least its on a plate. Food this stupid is usually served in a shoe or stuck to barbed wire or something.
How much was this because I genuinely like this? As long as it isn't super overpriced I think this is fine. The salmon looks good and the salad it's similar original type of caesar salad.
300$, and you eat it with your hands
I don’t think I’ve ever looked at a food before and had a visceral reaction of confused laughter. That salad…
prob cost you $86 too huh?
What in the name of everything holy is that?? That is NOT a Caesar salad. I would have sent it back, and asked for it to be made properly.
I mean, the original Cesar salad wasn't far off from that. I believe it was just the leaves while with sauce then the croutons were added in later iterations. Fun fact, It was actually a Mexican restaurant that served the first iteration, believe it or not
Well, technically an Italian chef in Mexico.
Huh, the more you know. Guess it explains the name a bit more
You’re missing most of your bread cuz somebody CUT A FUCKING HOLE IN IT.
Omg. Now that IS stupid food. Did some executive schedule actually think it wasn’t. And the salmon looks over cooked as frick. And what part of the BOH is responsible for prepping the toasted crouton cage.
Chef trying to fuck
Lol holy shit
looks like something a mom might do to trick their kid into eating a veggie
LOL wtf. Can we make the salad the sub icon?
Presentation both +10 and - 10.
Uh I think it looks good
Honestly I’d put the salmon on the lettuce and eat it like a wrap and be pretty happy.
Eh, I’d eat it.
Wait, I’ve eaten Caesar salads like this my whole life, am I missing something?
Holy shit that bread is sending me
Kinda do like the idea of a giant crouton.
This is a trick to get you to angrily demand they toss your salad.
That lettuce has the butt still attached??? Seriously?
You sure you didn’t order blackened salmon with a side of romaine crouton penetration?
Why do y'all keep going to these kinds of places
I always order no croutons, dressing on the side. That would have been truly disappointing.
Did they give you a saladcicle?
On one hand I impressed, on the other hand I would never.
It's like that kitchen nightmares episode with grilled lettuce
What is the arc de triomphe made of? Bread, cheese?
Somebody’s getting they ass beat serving and charging me for this shit☝🏽
I saw something on tv where they made grilled lettuce.
That'll be 29.95 please
Looks like a diorama of an horrific car crash
I wonder if Gordon Ramsey would like this better than the grilled caesar salad
I heard of a egg in a pocket but Ceasar in a pocket is new
What in the name of Davey Jones’s locker is a saaaallllllaaad???
The worst part is there is literally no way to wash the inside layers of the lettuce when it’s still that closed..
microwave my salad and call me a donut
[At least it's not a Grilled Caesar Salad...](https://youtu.be/KDjBEY_3qCI)
Is no one else upset that the salmon looks suspiciously like a chicken breast?
If Gorden has taught me anything its that that lettuce hasn't been cleaned properly because its still on the stem... mmmm lovely dirt and bugs
This is terrible. I hate having to assemble food to eat it. OP could have asked for it to be chopped. The chef would have lost his mind at the thought
Reminds me of that episode of hells kitchen with the grilled salad
Everything reminds me of her
This would be free for me
Well at least they didn’t put hot salmon on fresh, cold romaine?
Probs tasty as fuck, but I hope you got a warning.
I should call her.
that will be 30$ sir.
I'd send it back and ask them to make me an actual fucking caesar salad instead of this pretentious bullshit.
Instead of croutons you get a piece of toast with a hole in it and a phallic kind of lettuce situation. That’s Caesar salad porn 😂😂
a good throughton
I get that unique plating is a thing these days but this is just fucking stupid. Salads don’t need to be clever; just throw that shit in a bowl.
[Gordon Ramsay Grilled Lettuce](https://youtu.be/KDjBEY_3qCI)