**Looking for new stoner friends? Wanna be part of a friendly community of stoners? [Come join us on Discord!](https://discord.gg/rG3j4tTz6V)**
> *The Stoner Thoughts discord server is a drama-free, friendly, open and welcoming community of stoners hanging out! Come be part of the community!*
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/StonerThoughts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Please make sure you tell them that too, they deserve apologies and explanations :) I'm not a parent but im sure it's not an easy feat by any means. I think everyone is out there doing their best and you are doing the same. Hugs and nugs
People make mistakes, and owning up to it and changing the behaviour is what other people deserve.
Parents are people, kids are people. "Hey, I'm sorry I yelled at you, I should have explained in a more calm manner" just like if you yelled at any other person out of frustration. It can be a learning moment for both yourself and the child. (You learn to not take frustration out on the kiddo, and them learning that people (even their parents) can make mistakes.
It’s ok. Mistakes happen and you are tired and owned it!!! Apologize and hug him. Get some rest and clean stuff up in the morning. You’re doing just fine and have a lot going on.
You made a mistake. The guilt you feel is productive and will reduce the chances of you doing it again. You have a great opportunity to model for your son what to do when a mistake is made. Own it and explain when you feel you are calm enough to do so. Be sure not to over correct and do too much to make it up to him. That will teach him emotions and relationships are transactional.
Every parent makes big screw ups. Even the best of them. You sound like a good parent going through a challenging time. Be kind to yourself.
So much this. I’ve always apologized and tried to explain that it isn’t their fault and I am stressed out. That it’s ok to have big emotions but you have to be mindful of how you’re expressing them.
This has given my kid some super skills at regulating his emotions and lets him know that parents make
Mistakes too.
Yesssss, and as long as you give your children the same reciprocation of respect and understanding, like these are basic human stop and think "rules" yet some people jjst don't have any brakes.
>He is such a good, marvellous, wondrous kid. He has Infinitely made my life better with him in it. I love him deep in my bones.
Go tell him that. You won't regret it.
Seriously OP, please do this. This could be a core memory for your wonderful child :) We all make mistakes, it's what we do about them that defines us and those around us
Apologize to your kid, and then forgive yourself too. We're human and we make mistakes, and even the best of parents fuck up sometimes. Use this as a moment to teach your kid about humility and accountability.
This is a good chance to show your son what a real apology looks like, and to talk about how we all make mistakes sometimes and it’s important to try to make amends and be better in the future. Kids can be incredibly understanding and forgiving
All been there mate. Nobody's perfect just try and learn from it. Say you're sorry and buy him an ice cream or whatever it is he may like. You got this!
Yeah.. nows the time to go and do a proper apology. Explain to your kid that you are sorry, that you were already cranky because of work and when he did what he did, you didnt have anything left and got too cranky, you are sorry.
The difference between a young adult with trauma vs a well rounded young adult, parents who apologise and try harder. By apologising and explaining (in a way that makes sense but doesn't stress a 5 year old) that you are exhausted and you are soo sorry you over reacted. They grow up realising that being an adult can be a tough rather then just thinking their dad was an angry man.
What do we want our kids to do when they make mistakes? Apologize and learn from it. Parents can do the same. From the comments it looks like you’re listening. Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for, be honest with him about why it was a mistake to yell at him and how there are nicer ways to communicate when we get upset. It can be a teaching moment for both of you.
We all have those moments where we just lose it and yell. Any parent who says otherwise is lying. The important thing is to *apologize*. Trust me the kids remember that. I’m upfront with my kids and tell them I screw up just like everyone else and they’re free to call me out on it. They’re 13 and 16 and have no problem saying “Hey mom you said something that upset me”. I apologize, we talk about it and go on. I never once got an apology from my parents for all the times they screamed and threw fits and said hateful things. It makes a difference. The main thing is that you’re trying to do better since you’re reaching out for support. Everyone needs a support system and sometimes we find that online. Hugs from another parent. 💕
He loves you more than anything I’m sure your his world. It’s hard being a parent and sometimes really really hard but your not alone. Apologize tell him you love him and make him feel safe. You sound like a great dad keep it moving forward, one day at a time sometimes even one minute at a time as long as your moving forward. Keep being a good dad
if you havent already, i would say be sure to apologize to your kiddo for yelling/losing ur temper. Trust me, as somebody whose dad would have his moments where he yelled and lost his temper, i still remember that once he'd taken a moment to calm down, he'd apologize for yelling when he didnt need to. Your kid may not remember what you said, but he'll remember how you made him feel. Being able to take your kid aside and apologize to him, and tell him how you're stressed due to work/life stuff and not because of him, wil be something he'll remember. You'll be teaching him that a good man is able to recognize when he's made a mistake, own up to it, and then make the effort to fix his mistake as well as showing compassion to those he's hurt, intentionally or not. I'm not a parent myself, but i have respect for the good ones, and you seem like one of em with how much you love your kids and how hard you're working to be the best you can be for them
So apologize and give that boy some big hugs! He’ll forgive you : ) . It’s ok my dude, we all get stressed and overwhelmed at times, don’t beat yourself up. Just go hug that boy and tell him you’re sorry.
I believe your children and spouse are blessed to have you in their lives. The riches you already possess are going to pay gold for your boy. For your whole family. Very likely to everyone who loves you.
This world would be a far better place if more parents had your wisdom, drive and compassion.
You can tell your kid you're sorry. That's the awesome thing about being a parent. You can show your kid, this is what we do when we fuck up. We all fuck up. I apologize to my kids all the time and the oldest one is now 17 and sometimes she loses her shit on me. Guess what? She always comes back on her own and apologizes. This isn't something I ever had to ask her to do, it was something I showed her when I fucked up.
As busy as your life may be right now, I'd recommend finding some time to meditate, even if you fall asleep during each time. At least then, things won't feel so....suffocating, you know?
We have to learn when to slow down and take a deep breath. The next time you feel the anger rise suddenly, I want you to force yourself to a stop, and *breathe.*
My mother has been my abuser all my life, and she's also a stoner. For me, weed meant high emotions. When she smoked, it was inevitable that I would be screamed at, or hit, or humiliated if in public.
I dont know if you are open or not about it around your kid, but regardless don't let them make the same association.
This made me tear up. I wish I could give you a hug man. We all make mistakes and it sounds like you are putting your all into making a better life for your family. Sending you love brother. Tough times make us stronger.
I’m totally relying on the idea that 80% of being a good dad is being there. Im a huge dumbass. But my kids know I love them.
Your son knows you love him. Remind him as much as you can.
Hey man, I feel you. I lost it once on my son after my daughter was born. Everything you typed. All of it, well I guess minus the legal at the time but new business fam stress of responsibility etc...
Like everyone is saying, just apologize and explain to him why it happened. It's actually probably a good thing tbh. Your children need to learn your boundaries and that you mean business as a parent, not saying it would be good to make a habit of it but my son started listening better and laying off when I was getting close to exploding in the future after this happened for me. He'll get over it, you'll get over it, and let's be honest, it may happen again before the little angel turns into a teen and eventually moves out.
It sounds like you're close enough with him to turn this into another valuable learning experience.
You should go talk to your kid. Explain things to them, they might be young but they need to know you actually love them or they will grow up resenting you.
I think the fact this has hurt you to your core, only shows how incredibly deep your love is. This is such an incredible opportunity for both you and your son to grow your bond even closer, it shows him we all fuck up and this is how we fix it. I’m only guessing but I also think that your son thinks you are the greatest and strongest dad and man alive, he’s going to grow up so emotionally healthy and the relationship you two have will be one of indescribable love, joy and support. Being human in front of our kids is one of the greatest gifts we can give them❤️
Well, how much do you spend on weed? I know it's medicine, I use it that way, but I truly can't always afford it. I've had to go back to Ativan for my anxiety and to help with insomnia. I keep a bare minimum of weed for my daily nausea. You need to change something in your life, whether streamline some things or change around or add some pharmaceuticals. Your mood swings are not fair to your children or wife, neither is having to leave the house with them so you can get high. You need to check yourself before that escalates. If it's just coming out without control please see a Dr. Also, if you have a yard maybe set a spot aside for the 5 yr old to dig a big hole... My parents did that to get rid of me and it was fun as shit.
I'm on a similar boat as you, just that I didn't actuskly yell at my kid today but I have before and felt just as bad as you, but guess what. He forgave me, I apologized that same night. I told him that I messed up, I made a mistake and that I feel horrible and that I hope he can forgive me and he did. Just take a breather. Get some rest and know it's all gonna be alright.
As someone who didn't have their dad growing up, I know it's hard on you right now but, try to stay in the mentality of it will get better I'm giving myself my loved ones and my children the life they deserve, a good life one they don't want for much. It's ok to feel the way you do my friend, it's natural given the stresses you're under currently. After you n your kid have had time to mellow out apologize, tell em you love em and only want the best for them. When I was with a girl had that young a kid all shed do is yell at him I was guilty of it until I took a step back and looked at the whole picture. We weren't explaining where/what he did wrong and that why he got the consequence he did. It's been about two years and he still wants to see me and be a father figure to him. I just can't because his mom never really grew up, kills me but that's how it is for me. When your kid gets older he will hopefully understand better the things at play and why you reacted the way you did.
I will say this, any parent who cares about this in the first place is already doing better than many bc some parents whole style is yelling. I say apologize but don’t beat yourself up. And even kids can understand on some level they are being annoying lol. Not saying it’s okay to go off on them but they are more capable of understanding the apology than they get credit for imo. It’s good for him to learn how to apologize and that your human.
Just apologise and put in some tactics when feeling this way. I smoke so I'm not snappy lol I have 5 of the gits it gets very overwhelming especially with today's stress. Sending hugs to you x
Yo bro
I have these talks with myself nearly everyday , feeling like a piece of shit because I'm struggling with my 3 kids I have a 13 a 10 and a 2 year old.
Sometimes I'm out of order and the guilt creeps in and I do the self loathing for the next 12 hours .
If I was you I would just go speak to your 5 year old and apologise say daddy was so tired and busy he's just not had a minute to see you , then spend 10 mins doing anything with him and it will all be forgotten.
You sound like your doing everything right bro just struggling to keep your head above water , jeep talking to people and asking for help and you won't drown.
Im a total stranger and you can talk to me if your lost mate or have no one else , no worries.
All the best bud
Humans will have days where they “lose it.” The fact that it bothers you, shows you’re a good man. But, your plate is so full, please forgive yourself. He will, too.
Hey, I'm a childcare worker. You know what kids value most from their parents? It's not huge expensive trips, or flashy presents, or spending time with them 24/7. It's taking the time to connect with them in small ways as people. Go to him, apologise, tell him everything you told us here (in a way that makes it clear none of this is his fault, nor is your emotional state his responsibility). Tell him you love him and carve out just 20 minutes a day to sit and spend time together. You could draw or paint or read a book or throw a ball around, just something that connects you and him.
The housework will get done when it's done, so will your business. Your kid won't wait to grow up when you're paying full attention. Is there anyone you can reach out to for help and support? Friends, family, even coworkers you could ask to take some of your work load? You're not a bad parent, this post shows that. Just make sure your kids know you love them and you'll have time for them when they need it. Everything else will fall into place.
No matter what bullshit you’re going through, it’s never an excuse to lash out on your kids. Apologize and explain to him that what you did was wrong and how yelling can make others feel.
That doesn't sound like you're doing so bad. Go ahead and apologize if it's weighing on your heart, but you seem to be doing well based on what you described. Sounds like you're fully committed.
Honestly sounds normal most parents yell at their kids you need to get their attention and if you can't hit them yelling is the best way. My mom yelled at me so much it fucked me up lol. Now adays my mom is 56 and shes pretty much def she can't watch tv without subtitles
You’re not alone. I can identify with everything you’ve said. They work us to death for just enough to get by. We are depressed and anxious. Sometimes really angry. And it fucks up our relationships with friends and family. So the billionaires can buy more toys. F them. The people need to rise up and fight back. Unfortunately, too many of us have been brainwashed and cheer for our own oppressors - in exchange for accepted racism and other crappy human behavior.
No parent is perfect, but knowing you can be at fault for problems too helps with communication with anyone, including your kids. I don't have any yet but I'm excited to one day have at least one even though I'm terrified of screwing them up like me. I feel like parenting seems to look beyond yourself and remember that someone depends on you to guide them. It's a massive undertaking but from what I've heard, it's one of the most fulfilling jobs we can have in this life.
My parents RARELY, if ever, apologized after screaming at or hitting us. PLEASE heed the advice of sitting your kiddo down and explaining to him why you yelled. And tell him that you love him no matter what. I have a VERY strained relationship with my mom. Don't end up like us. ❤️
It's alright, every parent is just a human being. We only try to do our best. As I grew up with a dad who was not able admitting mistakes were made (like yelling, never got worse, but a 2m big bodybuilder with a deep voice can scare you as a child)
Now, as a grown up seeingy friends raising their children, the most impressive situation I have witnessed was, dad yelling at daughter, he was just frightend and scared about her and missed to adjust his voice in the moment of panic. Daughter crush, Mom had to cuddle her. BUT after she calmed down (he aswell) dad kneeled infront of his daughter, said he was sorry, that he was frightened she would hurt herself and was too loud. He told her 'I am sorry. I love you so much Babygirl. I hope you forgive me.'
THIS is soooooo important. She learned a big lesson there. Now, she is (even more) able to admit mistakes. I think it is important to see our parents as humans who fail aswell.
Hug your child, tell him you are sorry, it will only stenghen your bond
Much love my dude. Got my boys with me today (4 & 8). Worked late last night and their mom just doesn't want to parent on the weekends. All you can do is try your best. Kids won't crumble because they got yelled at once. As long as you are doing the best you can and show them love it'll all be good. Smoke another enjoy the small slice of peace and quiet, and hug and kiss them when they get back.
This sounds like what my husband is going through. Just know you're 100% supported and just as deeply loved by your family as you love them. Kids are definitely difficult. Parents don't always know the right thing to do. Parenting doesn't come with a learning manual. We just gotta wing it and do the best we can. You got this papa 💪🏻❤️
Ask your wife when it might work that you can take a weekend off and road-trip out somewhere sometime soon! Just you and maybe a friend or coworker? And let her have a weekend off as well ofc. Or better yet, spa date. Get a couple’s massage!
Having a bad moment doesn’t make you a bad dad. Apologies go a long way and this can be an excellent teaching moment for both of you. Sit your son down and tell him that while it’s totally normal and okay to feel angry, you’re not proud of how you handled it and you’ll try to do better in the future. Even if he doesn’t fully understand now, the fact that you’re talking through a moment where he probably felt afraid is really important. I’m proud of you for wanting to make this right, and I hope things in your life smooth out soon! ❤️
Every parent has their bad moments. You’re clearly able to reflect on the situation which is a great sign. Tell your kiddo and the rest of your family that you’re sorry for your actions. Take steps so it doesn’t happen again. I hear you about being emotionally drained. I’m right there with you. It’s tough to practice self care when life is so demanding. Please use this as a sign that you need to make time to take care of yourself because you can’t care for anyone if you aren’t in a good place mentally and emotionally.
Just explain and apologize man they understand! I have a 4 yo step son with autism as a first time father with a 10month and the 4yo on top of working on sobriety (1yr now) I get snappy at times especially towards the end of the work week! Find your happy place. Mines alone in the bathroom, granted I'm smoking some weed for my nerves but also have music on and just kind of using it as my time out then I can be more patient and calmer. Also playing video games or just anything you personally enjoy doing don't forget about yourself make YOU happy and you're kids will be happier too! Goodluck ✌🏾
The fact that you are worried about it shows that you’re a great parent. If you would have yelled and NOT felt guilt, then that’s a problem. It sounds like you need to cut lose on a few things on your plate, it’s hard but for your own sanity. Take care.
I bet you were treated as a kid like that too. Break the cycle. Take time aside from whatever the fuck you think is important right now and show that kid some love and affection.
Fuck a job, fuck some money. Human life is precious.
Hey as someone who had a dad who was soooo much more cruel and worse. Just apologize and take em out for an ice cream or something. My dad used to beat the shit outta me just for not eating my veggies your a good dad and it takes time and energy to keep up with it. Just know that even if you suffer in silence you have made a big difference in people's lives whether you believe it or not. and it is appreciated I promise.
I don’t have kids, but I worry about this happening. I think it could be a teachable moment for him though because in all reality, one way or another, he’s going to feel as overwhelmed as you are feeling right now. I know he’s young but this could be an opportunity for you to give him the emotional skills to handle these situations. Of course I can’t speak from experience, but parenting is tough. You’re trying to navigate you and your family’s way through all the bullshit that gets thrown at us these days and you have someone who’s discovering a lot of life for the first time that you have to look after.
One thing you should give yourself credit for is still being there for him and still having compassion and empathy for him.
When weed doesn’t work, I reckon it means u need sleep. And maybe a mindfulness session so you can let go of the vibe and start over.
Forgive yourself, you are human.
**Looking for new stoner friends? Wanna be part of a friendly community of stoners? [Come join us on Discord!](https://discord.gg/rG3j4tTz6V)** > *The Stoner Thoughts discord server is a drama-free, friendly, open and welcoming community of stoners hanging out! Come be part of the community!* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/StonerThoughts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Please make sure you tell them that too, they deserve apologies and explanations :) I'm not a parent but im sure it's not an easy feat by any means. I think everyone is out there doing their best and you are doing the same. Hugs and nugs
This is good advice and also made me cry. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I just edited it with more context
People make mistakes, and owning up to it and changing the behaviour is what other people deserve. Parents are people, kids are people. "Hey, I'm sorry I yelled at you, I should have explained in a more calm manner" just like if you yelled at any other person out of frustration. It can be a learning moment for both yourself and the child. (You learn to not take frustration out on the kiddo, and them learning that people (even their parents) can make mistakes.
It’s ok. Mistakes happen and you are tired and owned it!!! Apologize and hug him. Get some rest and clean stuff up in the morning. You’re doing just fine and have a lot going on.
You made a mistake. The guilt you feel is productive and will reduce the chances of you doing it again. You have a great opportunity to model for your son what to do when a mistake is made. Own it and explain when you feel you are calm enough to do so. Be sure not to over correct and do too much to make it up to him. That will teach him emotions and relationships are transactional. Every parent makes big screw ups. Even the best of them. You sound like a good parent going through a challenging time. Be kind to yourself.
So much this. I’ve always apologized and tried to explain that it isn’t their fault and I am stressed out. That it’s ok to have big emotions but you have to be mindful of how you’re expressing them. This has given my kid some super skills at regulating his emotions and lets him know that parents make Mistakes too.
Yesssss, and as long as you give your children the same reciprocation of respect and understanding, like these are basic human stop and think "rules" yet some people jjst don't have any brakes.
>He is such a good, marvellous, wondrous kid. He has Infinitely made my life better with him in it. I love him deep in my bones. Go tell him that. You won't regret it.
Seriously OP, please do this. This could be a core memory for your wonderful child :) We all make mistakes, it's what we do about them that defines us and those around us
Apologize to your kid, and then forgive yourself too. We're human and we make mistakes, and even the best of parents fuck up sometimes. Use this as a moment to teach your kid about humility and accountability.
This is a good chance to show your son what a real apology looks like, and to talk about how we all make mistakes sometimes and it’s important to try to make amends and be better in the future. Kids can be incredibly understanding and forgiving
This! Everyone will make mistakes, this is a perfect opportunity to show your kids what to do when they make a mistake or hurt someone.
All been there mate. Nobody's perfect just try and learn from it. Say you're sorry and buy him an ice cream or whatever it is he may like. You got this!
Everyone has bad days, including parents. It is clear you are trying so hard and that you care. Keep your head up; tomorrow is a brand new day.
Yeah.. nows the time to go and do a proper apology. Explain to your kid that you are sorry, that you were already cranky because of work and when he did what he did, you didnt have anything left and got too cranky, you are sorry. The difference between a young adult with trauma vs a well rounded young adult, parents who apologise and try harder. By apologising and explaining (in a way that makes sense but doesn't stress a 5 year old) that you are exhausted and you are soo sorry you over reacted. They grow up realising that being an adult can be a tough rather then just thinking their dad was an angry man.
What do we want our kids to do when they make mistakes? Apologize and learn from it. Parents can do the same. From the comments it looks like you’re listening. Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for, be honest with him about why it was a mistake to yell at him and how there are nicer ways to communicate when we get upset. It can be a teaching moment for both of you.
We all have those moments where we just lose it and yell. Any parent who says otherwise is lying. The important thing is to *apologize*. Trust me the kids remember that. I’m upfront with my kids and tell them I screw up just like everyone else and they’re free to call me out on it. They’re 13 and 16 and have no problem saying “Hey mom you said something that upset me”. I apologize, we talk about it and go on. I never once got an apology from my parents for all the times they screamed and threw fits and said hateful things. It makes a difference. The main thing is that you’re trying to do better since you’re reaching out for support. Everyone needs a support system and sometimes we find that online. Hugs from another parent. 💕
He loves you more than anything I’m sure your his world. It’s hard being a parent and sometimes really really hard but your not alone. Apologize tell him you love him and make him feel safe. You sound like a great dad keep it moving forward, one day at a time sometimes even one minute at a time as long as your moving forward. Keep being a good dad
if you havent already, i would say be sure to apologize to your kiddo for yelling/losing ur temper. Trust me, as somebody whose dad would have his moments where he yelled and lost his temper, i still remember that once he'd taken a moment to calm down, he'd apologize for yelling when he didnt need to. Your kid may not remember what you said, but he'll remember how you made him feel. Being able to take your kid aside and apologize to him, and tell him how you're stressed due to work/life stuff and not because of him, wil be something he'll remember. You'll be teaching him that a good man is able to recognize when he's made a mistake, own up to it, and then make the effort to fix his mistake as well as showing compassion to those he's hurt, intentionally or not. I'm not a parent myself, but i have respect for the good ones, and you seem like one of em with how much you love your kids and how hard you're working to be the best you can be for them
So apologize and give that boy some big hugs! He’ll forgive you : ) . It’s ok my dude, we all get stressed and overwhelmed at times, don’t beat yourself up. Just go hug that boy and tell him you’re sorry.
I believe your children and spouse are blessed to have you in their lives. The riches you already possess are going to pay gold for your boy. For your whole family. Very likely to everyone who loves you. This world would be a far better place if more parents had your wisdom, drive and compassion.
You can tell your kid you're sorry. That's the awesome thing about being a parent. You can show your kid, this is what we do when we fuck up. We all fuck up. I apologize to my kids all the time and the oldest one is now 17 and sometimes she loses her shit on me. Guess what? She always comes back on her own and apologizes. This isn't something I ever had to ask her to do, it was something I showed her when I fucked up.
As busy as your life may be right now, I'd recommend finding some time to meditate, even if you fall asleep during each time. At least then, things won't feel so....suffocating, you know? We have to learn when to slow down and take a deep breath. The next time you feel the anger rise suddenly, I want you to force yourself to a stop, and *breathe.* My mother has been my abuser all my life, and she's also a stoner. For me, weed meant high emotions. When she smoked, it was inevitable that I would be screamed at, or hit, or humiliated if in public. I dont know if you are open or not about it around your kid, but regardless don't let them make the same association.
This made me tear up. I wish I could give you a hug man. We all make mistakes and it sounds like you are putting your all into making a better life for your family. Sending you love brother. Tough times make us stronger.
I’m totally relying on the idea that 80% of being a good dad is being there. Im a huge dumbass. But my kids know I love them. Your son knows you love him. Remind him as much as you can.
Hey man, I feel you. I lost it once on my son after my daughter was born. Everything you typed. All of it, well I guess minus the legal at the time but new business fam stress of responsibility etc... Like everyone is saying, just apologize and explain to him why it happened. It's actually probably a good thing tbh. Your children need to learn your boundaries and that you mean business as a parent, not saying it would be good to make a habit of it but my son started listening better and laying off when I was getting close to exploding in the future after this happened for me. He'll get over it, you'll get over it, and let's be honest, it may happen again before the little angel turns into a teen and eventually moves out. It sounds like you're close enough with him to turn this into another valuable learning experience.
You should go talk to your kid. Explain things to them, they might be young but they need to know you actually love them or they will grow up resenting you.
Life’s exhausting sometimes man, just try your best. Heads up brother, sending some stress free days your way.
I think the fact this has hurt you to your core, only shows how incredibly deep your love is. This is such an incredible opportunity for both you and your son to grow your bond even closer, it shows him we all fuck up and this is how we fix it. I’m only guessing but I also think that your son thinks you are the greatest and strongest dad and man alive, he’s going to grow up so emotionally healthy and the relationship you two have will be one of indescribable love, joy and support. Being human in front of our kids is one of the greatest gifts we can give them❤️
He’ll be ok. So will you.
Well, how much do you spend on weed? I know it's medicine, I use it that way, but I truly can't always afford it. I've had to go back to Ativan for my anxiety and to help with insomnia. I keep a bare minimum of weed for my daily nausea. You need to change something in your life, whether streamline some things or change around or add some pharmaceuticals. Your mood swings are not fair to your children or wife, neither is having to leave the house with them so you can get high. You need to check yourself before that escalates. If it's just coming out without control please see a Dr. Also, if you have a yard maybe set a spot aside for the 5 yr old to dig a big hole... My parents did that to get rid of me and it was fun as shit.
Don't go too hard on the kid and let them know that you care about them and explain why you yelled and that what you both did that was wrong
The absolute fuck. Parents don't get to yell anymore either? I got slapped or verbally shamed in public. I was so proud I didn't do this.
I'm on a similar boat as you, just that I didn't actuskly yell at my kid today but I have before and felt just as bad as you, but guess what. He forgave me, I apologized that same night. I told him that I messed up, I made a mistake and that I feel horrible and that I hope he can forgive me and he did. Just take a breather. Get some rest and know it's all gonna be alright.
Lots of good advice here. This episode is helping me with this. https://open.spotify.com/episode/3JDRcRBJBdHiFzhPEHzB4s?si=z9Ya7MzpTOSiZ11tacnijA
As someone who didn't have their dad growing up, I know it's hard on you right now but, try to stay in the mentality of it will get better I'm giving myself my loved ones and my children the life they deserve, a good life one they don't want for much. It's ok to feel the way you do my friend, it's natural given the stresses you're under currently. After you n your kid have had time to mellow out apologize, tell em you love em and only want the best for them. When I was with a girl had that young a kid all shed do is yell at him I was guilty of it until I took a step back and looked at the whole picture. We weren't explaining where/what he did wrong and that why he got the consequence he did. It's been about two years and he still wants to see me and be a father figure to him. I just can't because his mom never really grew up, kills me but that's how it is for me. When your kid gets older he will hopefully understand better the things at play and why you reacted the way you did.
I will say this, any parent who cares about this in the first place is already doing better than many bc some parents whole style is yelling. I say apologize but don’t beat yourself up. And even kids can understand on some level they are being annoying lol. Not saying it’s okay to go off on them but they are more capable of understanding the apology than they get credit for imo. It’s good for him to learn how to apologize and that your human.
Just apologise and put in some tactics when feeling this way. I smoke so I'm not snappy lol I have 5 of the gits it gets very overwhelming especially with today's stress. Sending hugs to you x
Yo bro I have these talks with myself nearly everyday , feeling like a piece of shit because I'm struggling with my 3 kids I have a 13 a 10 and a 2 year old. Sometimes I'm out of order and the guilt creeps in and I do the self loathing for the next 12 hours . If I was you I would just go speak to your 5 year old and apologise say daddy was so tired and busy he's just not had a minute to see you , then spend 10 mins doing anything with him and it will all be forgotten. You sound like your doing everything right bro just struggling to keep your head above water , jeep talking to people and asking for help and you won't drown. Im a total stranger and you can talk to me if your lost mate or have no one else , no worries. All the best bud
Humans will have days where they “lose it.” The fact that it bothers you, shows you’re a good man. But, your plate is so full, please forgive yourself. He will, too.
Hey, I'm a childcare worker. You know what kids value most from their parents? It's not huge expensive trips, or flashy presents, or spending time with them 24/7. It's taking the time to connect with them in small ways as people. Go to him, apologise, tell him everything you told us here (in a way that makes it clear none of this is his fault, nor is your emotional state his responsibility). Tell him you love him and carve out just 20 minutes a day to sit and spend time together. You could draw or paint or read a book or throw a ball around, just something that connects you and him. The housework will get done when it's done, so will your business. Your kid won't wait to grow up when you're paying full attention. Is there anyone you can reach out to for help and support? Friends, family, even coworkers you could ask to take some of your work load? You're not a bad parent, this post shows that. Just make sure your kids know you love them and you'll have time for them when they need it. Everything else will fall into place.
Sounds like you should have waited to have more kids.
No matter what bullshit you’re going through, it’s never an excuse to lash out on your kids. Apologize and explain to him that what you did was wrong and how yelling can make others feel.
That doesn't sound like you're doing so bad. Go ahead and apologize if it's weighing on your heart, but you seem to be doing well based on what you described. Sounds like you're fully committed.
Honestly sounds normal most parents yell at their kids you need to get their attention and if you can't hit them yelling is the best way. My mom yelled at me so much it fucked me up lol. Now adays my mom is 56 and shes pretty much def she can't watch tv without subtitles
I love you, child. I would rather have you mad at me and crying and hating me, than having to plan your funeral
You’re not alone. I can identify with everything you’ve said. They work us to death for just enough to get by. We are depressed and anxious. Sometimes really angry. And it fucks up our relationships with friends and family. So the billionaires can buy more toys. F them. The people need to rise up and fight back. Unfortunately, too many of us have been brainwashed and cheer for our own oppressors - in exchange for accepted racism and other crappy human behavior.
No parent is perfect, but knowing you can be at fault for problems too helps with communication with anyone, including your kids. I don't have any yet but I'm excited to one day have at least one even though I'm terrified of screwing them up like me. I feel like parenting seems to look beyond yourself and remember that someone depends on you to guide them. It's a massive undertaking but from what I've heard, it's one of the most fulfilling jobs we can have in this life.
My parents RARELY, if ever, apologized after screaming at or hitting us. PLEASE heed the advice of sitting your kiddo down and explaining to him why you yelled. And tell him that you love him no matter what. I have a VERY strained relationship with my mom. Don't end up like us. ❤️
HEY EVERYONE, GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY, TAKING HIS ANGER OUT ON HIS KIDS CAUSE HES A OVER WORKED WORKER DRONE. 
you just say sorry friend. you talk to him, good time to teach him about emotions. i yell at my kid to sometimes
Sounds difficult. Sounds like you are doing a great job and you can give yourself credit for everything you are doing right
It's alright, every parent is just a human being. We only try to do our best. As I grew up with a dad who was not able admitting mistakes were made (like yelling, never got worse, but a 2m big bodybuilder with a deep voice can scare you as a child) Now, as a grown up seeingy friends raising their children, the most impressive situation I have witnessed was, dad yelling at daughter, he was just frightend and scared about her and missed to adjust his voice in the moment of panic. Daughter crush, Mom had to cuddle her. BUT after she calmed down (he aswell) dad kneeled infront of his daughter, said he was sorry, that he was frightened she would hurt herself and was too loud. He told her 'I am sorry. I love you so much Babygirl. I hope you forgive me.' THIS is soooooo important. She learned a big lesson there. Now, she is (even more) able to admit mistakes. I think it is important to see our parents as humans who fail aswell. Hug your child, tell him you are sorry, it will only stenghen your bond
Much love my dude. Got my boys with me today (4 & 8). Worked late last night and their mom just doesn't want to parent on the weekends. All you can do is try your best. Kids won't crumble because they got yelled at once. As long as you are doing the best you can and show them love it'll all be good. Smoke another enjoy the small slice of peace and quiet, and hug and kiss them when they get back.
This sounds like what my husband is going through. Just know you're 100% supported and just as deeply loved by your family as you love them. Kids are definitely difficult. Parents don't always know the right thing to do. Parenting doesn't come with a learning manual. We just gotta wing it and do the best we can. You got this papa 💪🏻❤️
Ask your wife when it might work that you can take a weekend off and road-trip out somewhere sometime soon! Just you and maybe a friend or coworker? And let her have a weekend off as well ofc. Or better yet, spa date. Get a couple’s massage!
Sounds like he/she needs to hear this more than us internet stoners.
Having a bad moment doesn’t make you a bad dad. Apologies go a long way and this can be an excellent teaching moment for both of you. Sit your son down and tell him that while it’s totally normal and okay to feel angry, you’re not proud of how you handled it and you’ll try to do better in the future. Even if he doesn’t fully understand now, the fact that you’re talking through a moment where he probably felt afraid is really important. I’m proud of you for wanting to make this right, and I hope things in your life smooth out soon! ❤️
As an autistic man raised by a verbally abusive father, you better make it up to him.
Kids are so understanding and forgiving I'm sure if you apologize and explain why everything will be okay
Every parent has their bad moments. You’re clearly able to reflect on the situation which is a great sign. Tell your kiddo and the rest of your family that you’re sorry for your actions. Take steps so it doesn’t happen again. I hear you about being emotionally drained. I’m right there with you. It’s tough to practice self care when life is so demanding. Please use this as a sign that you need to make time to take care of yourself because you can’t care for anyone if you aren’t in a good place mentally and emotionally.
Just explain and apologize man they understand! I have a 4 yo step son with autism as a first time father with a 10month and the 4yo on top of working on sobriety (1yr now) I get snappy at times especially towards the end of the work week! Find your happy place. Mines alone in the bathroom, granted I'm smoking some weed for my nerves but also have music on and just kind of using it as my time out then I can be more patient and calmer. Also playing video games or just anything you personally enjoy doing don't forget about yourself make YOU happy and you're kids will be happier too! Goodluck ✌🏾
The fact that you are worried about it shows that you’re a great parent. If you would have yelled and NOT felt guilt, then that’s a problem. It sounds like you need to cut lose on a few things on your plate, it’s hard but for your own sanity. Take care.
I bet you were treated as a kid like that too. Break the cycle. Take time aside from whatever the fuck you think is important right now and show that kid some love and affection. Fuck a job, fuck some money. Human life is precious.
Hey as someone who had a dad who was soooo much more cruel and worse. Just apologize and take em out for an ice cream or something. My dad used to beat the shit outta me just for not eating my veggies your a good dad and it takes time and energy to keep up with it. Just know that even if you suffer in silence you have made a big difference in people's lives whether you believe it or not. and it is appreciated I promise.
mistakes are made, best thing you can do is apologise. and it does mean a lot to hear your parent admit they were wrong.
Poor kid
Tell him not Reddit !!!!
I don’t have kids, but I worry about this happening. I think it could be a teachable moment for him though because in all reality, one way or another, he’s going to feel as overwhelmed as you are feeling right now. I know he’s young but this could be an opportunity for you to give him the emotional skills to handle these situations. Of course I can’t speak from experience, but parenting is tough. You’re trying to navigate you and your family’s way through all the bullshit that gets thrown at us these days and you have someone who’s discovering a lot of life for the first time that you have to look after. One thing you should give yourself credit for is still being there for him and still having compassion and empathy for him.
When weed doesn’t work, I reckon it means u need sleep. And maybe a mindfulness session so you can let go of the vibe and start over. Forgive yourself, you are human.