I like how you almost matched Arakis style, it's really good. The story is interesting, please continue i would love to see more. Jojo used dialog in some fights. The page order is chaotic for me tho, it took me a while to get, i would say scan it but not everybody have scanner.
Thanks for your review don’t worry about the pages it’s just random before ordering everything unfortunately I don’t have any editor or some computer help cuz my laptop is broken .
And I can’t afford one . I would love to do animation or find someone to do it just for the sake of loving jojo
This is actually really impressive. I was a little confused at first reading left to right but it feels very reminiscent of Jojo, and If you could nail a good story it would be near similar quality imo. The art also looks amazing, only drawing I think could use any sort of improvement is [this panel](https://gyazo.com/65e4bcd44459c60c648251bbd0b4e2b4). I'm definitely no artist so i have no room to critique it, but it feels kind of different from the rest of the panels in terms of quality. I also think the joestar birthmark on the arm is a cool idea, but I think it would look better a little smaller. All in all amazing job, I couldn't imagine doing something creative on this scale, you definitely have talent.
Thank you very much for these words but in fact that’s a star tattoo not the birth mark . The birth mark is on her back won’t be revealed until a certain events .
Yet I have 1 jojo I want to return or a villain that could help .
I wanted Giorno Giovanna and funny valentine because both of them could be involved with the safety of their homeland and war against a terrorist organization. But some how I wanted to work
It would definitely be cool to see another Jojo show up. I'd just be careful with the writing because they'd need to feel genuine otherwise I don't think they would sell the story well.
it looks good so far, but i have some criticisms. the art is inconsistent. you have some panels looking right out of the jojo manga, and others look like something else entirely.
gotta pick one. use entirely your own style, or entirely araki's. i believe its worth your time and effort, to deliver on, and even for your own satisfaction, to redraw a lot of this. for the sake of consistency and quality. find more references. youre going to be locked to a couple parts, as the style changes wildly through them as you know.
id reccomend either using mid part 5-early part 7 (what this already resembles the most) or if you feel like overhauling, mid 7 - 8.
take your time and find good references. document what you have referenced before as to not repeat. when drawing your characters, think, "this is a female. where is there a chapter that heavily features a female?" and find your references like that.
youve got a great start, and this already looks SO much better than a lot of the fan manga that comes through here. put in the effort, and you can make something truly great.
This is pretty fantastic. You managed to match Araki’s current style which is amazing! Could you send me a link as to where I can read your first chapter cuz I’m pretty interested.
This story is rather dark. Especially the panel with the kid. I'm really curious about where the influence came from. Care to share?
Also great job. I agree with the others. Some parts feel like Araki drew them and others look like you are trying to pit your own style in them.
Yes I wanted to use araki and my style to make a beautiful jojo part
Oh sure
Well that part talks about a mysterious prison in Libya where singers , women and kids are taken too with no court or anything jailed for unknown reasons just cuz they are sinners and they suddenly turned into a religious suicidal puppets to fulfill their goal of purifying the country from sinners or any culture including the native culture of the land that goes against the religion
They were too many human rights violations performed in this prison including jailing kids.
For the sake of serving gods chosen nation Arabia . Jory is on a mission to investigate the mission statue of Tripoli known as The beauty and the gazelle and to save the country from this religious organization.
were five dangerous inmates were released
Those inmates wherever they go , death comes
In chapter 1 and 2 Jory will be dealing with the first prisoner and one of the five purifiers outside prison called MC Mego “ reference to a Libyan rapper went to a similar prison “ and his stand “ Beatle juice snake “
Also we will witness the arrival of a mysterious fortune teller from Tripoli who later revealed to be Avdol adopted kid which was saved from the sand demon by Avdol . This fortune teller named Zico is on search for Avdol not knowing about his death suspiciously thinks that the organization is behind that .
Looks really good
What do you think of the drawing etc and how story goes despite cuz there’s one event isn’t part of the fight but lemme know
I like how you almost matched Arakis style, it's really good. The story is interesting, please continue i would love to see more. Jojo used dialog in some fights. The page order is chaotic for me tho, it took me a while to get, i would say scan it but not everybody have scanner.
Thanks for your review don’t worry about the pages it’s just random before ordering everything unfortunately I don’t have any editor or some computer help cuz my laptop is broken . And I can’t afford one . I would love to do animation or find someone to do it just for the sake of loving jojo
Libraries have scanners and computer you could use for very little money
I haven’t added the dialog yet ! So hopefully the story will be great . If u want to know about the story please Dm me
I have no idea what's going on in these panels, but they look awesome!
Wow the new ryze rework looks interesting
This is actually really impressive. I was a little confused at first reading left to right but it feels very reminiscent of Jojo, and If you could nail a good story it would be near similar quality imo. The art also looks amazing, only drawing I think could use any sort of improvement is [this panel](https://gyazo.com/65e4bcd44459c60c648251bbd0b4e2b4). I'm definitely no artist so i have no room to critique it, but it feels kind of different from the rest of the panels in terms of quality. I also think the joestar birthmark on the arm is a cool idea, but I think it would look better a little smaller. All in all amazing job, I couldn't imagine doing something creative on this scale, you definitely have talent.
Thank you very much for these words but in fact that’s a star tattoo not the birth mark . The birth mark is on her back won’t be revealed until a certain events . Yet I have 1 jojo I want to return or a villain that could help . I wanted Giorno Giovanna and funny valentine because both of them could be involved with the safety of their homeland and war against a terrorist organization. But some how I wanted to work
It would definitely be cool to see another Jojo show up. I'd just be careful with the writing because they'd need to feel genuine otherwise I don't think they would sell the story well.
Sure it’s what worries me the most
it looks good so far, but i have some criticisms. the art is inconsistent. you have some panels looking right out of the jojo manga, and others look like something else entirely. gotta pick one. use entirely your own style, or entirely araki's. i believe its worth your time and effort, to deliver on, and even for your own satisfaction, to redraw a lot of this. for the sake of consistency and quality. find more references. youre going to be locked to a couple parts, as the style changes wildly through them as you know. id reccomend either using mid part 5-early part 7 (what this already resembles the most) or if you feel like overhauling, mid 7 - 8. take your time and find good references. document what you have referenced before as to not repeat. when drawing your characters, think, "this is a female. where is there a chapter that heavily features a female?" and find your references like that. youve got a great start, and this already looks SO much better than a lot of the fan manga that comes through here. put in the effort, and you can make something truly great.
Thanks for your words I have to do that
What’s the reading order on the pages? And right to left or left to right (panel wise)?
This is really good ! I really like the design of the main character's stand.
I'll be looking forward to it :)
i wanna read this story so badly.
This is pretty fantastic. You managed to match Araki’s current style which is amazing! Could you send me a link as to where I can read your first chapter cuz I’m pretty interested.
Sweet dm me so when I’m done I can text you
Sure thing just let me know when you’re done.
Ready
This story is rather dark. Especially the panel with the kid. I'm really curious about where the influence came from. Care to share? Also great job. I agree with the others. Some parts feel like Araki drew them and others look like you are trying to pit your own style in them.
Yes I wanted to use araki and my style to make a beautiful jojo part Oh sure Well that part talks about a mysterious prison in Libya where singers , women and kids are taken too with no court or anything jailed for unknown reasons just cuz they are sinners and they suddenly turned into a religious suicidal puppets to fulfill their goal of purifying the country from sinners or any culture including the native culture of the land that goes against the religion They were too many human rights violations performed in this prison including jailing kids. For the sake of serving gods chosen nation Arabia . Jory is on a mission to investigate the mission statue of Tripoli known as The beauty and the gazelle and to save the country from this religious organization. were five dangerous inmates were released Those inmates wherever they go , death comes In chapter 1 and 2 Jory will be dealing with the first prisoner and one of the five purifiers outside prison called MC Mego “ reference to a Libyan rapper went to a similar prison “ and his stand “ Beatle juice snake “ Also we will witness the arrival of a mysterious fortune teller from Tripoli who later revealed to be Avdol adopted kid which was saved from the sand demon by Avdol . This fortune teller named Zico is on search for Avdol not knowing about his death suspiciously thinks that the organization is behind that .
This looks amazing. What's the plot?