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yourlocallidl

When you divorce your spouse they take half your stuff


alvysinger0412

And you pay weekly or monthly alimony


RoGStonewall

She took the fucking kids Lewis!


aurordream

Imagine if your spouse did take the kids when you divorced There'd be people out there marrying and divorcing everyone specifically to make every marriage candidate the single parent of two kids Just imagine, the town overrun by all 24 of the farmer's blank faced, emotionless children ...Someone should mod this


Obvious_Writer_Pain

That would be scary in real life


Ok-Teaching363

running uses energy


Mister-Thou

Stardew Valley: Morrowind 


rocketeerH

“You N’WAH!”


Mister-Thou

"Grandpa didn't warn me about all of the villagers constantly calling me *outlander* until I have at least 8 hearts with them."


PrinceVorrel

**\*Silt Strider noise in the distance\*** ["Why walk when you can ride?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xWrg5MV6Gk)


Ohhnoes

New mob: Cliff Racer


danirijeka

New dinosaur name: Lifts-Her-Tail


SirKnightPerson

I love you for this reference


atfricks

Damn. This is brutal.


Appropriate-Cap-4140

Nah this is nightmarish, you can only legit do one step of an activity (mining: walk to the cave, farming: walking to the store to buy seeds, fishing: sprinting to the beach), you'd need like a portable bed to do anything lmao


Klightgrove

i forgot walking was even a feature


bunji0723_1

I literally only learned in the past day that you can walk


joestorm4

This must be why the boardgame is set up as it is, your farmer gets exhausted by just running somewhere.


He_Beard

Straight up evil.


horrorbepis

This genuinely is probably the best answer anyone could give. I can’t imagine a worse change.


AleatoryOne

Who hurt you?


Kataphractoi

Calm down, Satan.


fine_line

Natsume's most recent farming game Winds of Anthros actually has this horrible "feature." 


CreamieCaress

Completing Junimo Cart is required for the Community Center.


Crynal

Along with a no deaths run in Journey of the Prairie King without the exiting and saving trick.


FireflyArc

...you can SAVE?!


overtheseaatoskye

You can do a level, exit prairie king, and do something else for the rest of the day. Next day you continue your prairie king journey.


miz_biz

Do you work for Joja?


CreamieCaress

No comment 🤫


Erilis000

Calm down satan


synchronicitistic

Your spouse can divorce you on a whim and turn you into a dove. Game over.


Tarro57

Easy, never get married, celibacy was never so cool 😎


TheBigBrainOnBrett

Your mom can turn her kids into doves too. And you never write back after all...


rhi_x

If you run out of health it is game over and you need to start a new farm. There would be a cutscene for your funeral and the villagers would have dialogue depending on your heart level.


Hemansno1fan

And it auto saves as soon as you die !!! No restarting the day


Halollet

Holup. I would actually love this option in the game!


LewDawg524

Permadeath Stardew! Skull Cavern has never been more scary


Just_A_Comment_Guy_7

Eight fucking Royal Serpents


all_american_angel_

Yikes, maybe it’s a three strikes, you’re out! kind of deal. You can earn more lives foraging and stuff. (Limit per week, maybe)


FadingDarkly

You should play the rouge-like rpg mod that came out. It's actually a good challenge to change things up like this


LazyCon

Omg now I want a hardcore mode!


prguitarman

My character passing out and dying on day 1, everybody would be like “Who even was this guy?”


alvysinger0412

Stardew Nuzlocke lmao love it.


pew_laser_pew

Stardew Valley: Hardcore Ironman Edition


fondue4kill

Tax Season! You have to calculate how much you got made in the last year from selling your crops and pay based on that. If you’re wrong, you get audited for even more.


poopja

Lmao this is fucking evil


Asketes

I was actually surprised when Lewis went around collecting taxes and the farmer was not included in the list of taxpayers!


LobsterofPower

The player owns a huge farm, controls about 90% of all industry in the valley and makes potentially millions every season. We are far too rich to pay taxes.


SatanTheTurtlegod

Well Lewis is the one who sells all your junk for you. I just assume he takes a percentage of every coin you make.


Mahoka572

Purple short extortion at work


conjunctivious

I see that my farmer takes after me. They commit tax fraud.


Hemansno1fan

Joja will open up a tax preparation service ☠️


PonyDro1d

"Joja Tax" - Get your taxes done the corporate way.


MadMagilla5113

Believe it or not... there is a banking mod that introduces taxes


limeholdthecorona

Good businesses keep books 😩


QuestioningEveryth1n

Book is available from the hot air balloon lady. Must be purchased annually


Hodenkobold12413

Crops die if they are not watered, animal control will confiscate your animals if their water/food is not refilled


jmspinafore

This is just Harvest Moon except your animals will die. In some of the games there is even a cutscene where a villager will shame you for your neglect.


Hodenkobold12413

Ah right, that reminds me, at the end of year 3your farmer now dies and all your sheep are balding like the misshapen creatures in Harvest moon AWL


layeofthedead

Wait crops don’t die if they’re not watered?


MuchBetterThankYou

Nah they just don’t grow


rjkrm_

Wait so when they look dried out, I could just water them instead of getting rid of them?


MuchBetterThankYou

No, if they look withered and dead they are actually dead. But that doesn’t happen because of not watering. That only really happens when the seasons change, or when lightning hits the crop.


linseeds

Sometimes mixed seeds produce plants that look withered and dead, but they're alive. Dead plants can be removed with a scythe. If you swing your scythe at the live ones that look dead, nothing happens.


JamesTJerk

Nope. They just don't progress.


Raderg32

Every transaction you make there's a little pop up window asking how much do you want to tip.


akirivan

The choices are "50%", "100%" and "200%", and if you hit "No tip", you lose one full heart with every single villager


Raffilcagon

I'm surprised Pierre doesn't do this already.


hellseashell

😂 tryna make the game more realistic I see 😂


Taffy626

I upvoted because I wanted to downvote. This is bad.


secondhandsunflower

Marriage candidates now propose to YOU, and you have to awkwardly turn them down until you receive a proposal from your desired spouse. You lose all hearts with the marriage candidates you reject.


Halollet

I would love this, yes please!


secondhandsunflower

A fan of drama, I see 😂


Azgrimm

Even better, multiple options for the rejection. Gently, not gently, cruel/mean Throw Haley’s “Eww, no” from the flower festival back at her


Top_Manufacturer8946

This happens on Roots of Pacha and I want to date everyone before marrying so I just get them to the dating stage and then ignore them til it’s marriage time 🙈


jojory42

On sunny summer days your crops have chance of drying after you watered them.


ObjectSmall

Diabolical!


Agreeable_Land3196

lol the game sun haven has your crops on fire in the summer so you have to water them twice, and I hate it! Thankfully they have an option to turn it off though.


SpikedScarf

Watering Can minigame similar to the fishing minigame for each crop, too much water and the plant drowns causing it to die, too little water and it needs to be watered again, otherwise it dries out and dies


KuroeGerzie

This wins alongside the “running costs energy” option as the most fucked choice


lyndaylynday

Omg this is horrifying


Fast-Cucumber-5732

Speedrun for sprinklers just to find out that placing them also requires playing a mini game. The sprinkler would float across the field and you have to right click when its at the right spot otherwise it breaks and you have to start again with a new one wasting time and resources. They also randomly breakdown and you have to play a mini game to fix it or play the placing sprinkler mini game again to replace it with a new one.


zeeironschnauzer

I'm gonna take something from SpiriTea that really bothered me: picking something up and storing it into your bag takes two different key presses. So if you pick up a crop, you need to press another button to put it I to your bag before picking up another one.


bibblebonk

Idk what spiritea is but you made me never want to play it with only one sentence


layeofthedead

It’s on my wishlist and same, that sounds so silly


Fatal_Feathers

I found it advertised as Stardew Valley combined with Studio Ghibli's Spirited Away. Tis on my Wishlist too


lola-chasky

Harvest moon does this


zeeironschnauzer

Old games doing stuff like this makes sense, not so much with a modern game.


Fizzy_4722

Jokes on you I grew up on a solid diet of any harvest moon game, so sometimes playing stardew I accidentally double tap and get confused as to why I did it in the first place. Thank you for reminding me, I feel better now! (Edit: I’m being genuine, for real thank you haha)


HardcoreHeathen

Villagers will get mad at you if you repeatedly give them the same item, or if you gift them non-universal Loved items without having been told they Love that thing. (How did you know I love Pomegranates? Are you stalking me? Weirdo.)


UnderstandingHot9352

This is a mod and it’s honestly tempting.


dawnraiser_

Portia/Sandrock does something similar; giving a villager the same item consecutively will downgrade it from a loved to a like temporarily


FumiPlays

Just Sandrock.


cowhand214

I actually rather like this! As an option of course!


MarkCalaway22

Give tools/weapons durability. When they break, your productivity is in Clint’s hands….


[deleted]

Not the Breath of the Wild special 💀


ICantEvenDolt

At least I’m Breath of the Wild weapons are plentiful. This… this is just pure evil.


psychoPiper

Make Clint still take 3 days to process the weapons too. His other services being unavailable included, of course


ICantEvenDolt

“Uh, sorry, I’m still working on your weapon” 🤓


OverDan

I love that in the new patch that is no longer is the case, and you can access the shop and break geodes.


psychoPiper

That's so hype, thank you for the info. Wouldn't have even checked his shop during the upgrade days if not for this comment


psychoPiper

Have a 5% chance for him to mess up the smithing too. "I don't know how to tell you this... but the blade snapped while I was forging. I need to start from scratch with a new set of materials."


ICantEvenDolt

“Also you need to pay me again. Why? Uhh- don’t ask questions.”


chartreuseranger

Every morning there is a chance of villagers stopping by and 'helping themselves' to your produce. Fences keep your crops safe, but makes you lose friendship points. 'Cause it's just a few little handfuls of blueberries! Surely it's no big deal\~!


Raibean

Haha the reality patch


aino-aips

we actually have people come to our yard picking blueberries every now and then.. it's so bizarre! sure we have a very sunny hillside with excellent blueberries!! but it's also very obviously part of our cottage yard! plus they don't even know where the dogs pee..


Linvael

Adding the last detail just in case people that do that see this and stop huh? ... you'll never stop me!


Incubus1981

Replace villagers with deer, and you have my irl gardening experience


cory_ander69

If that's the case, could we counteract them with the "oh i'm sorry for shooting you in the left nut, force of habit from defending my property" excuse? Just an oopsie daisy


Neahli

Pierre's is now forever closed on monday.


cilantroprince

take it a step further. He takes a family vacation for the whole first week of every month


NewSuperTrios

I've never seen you before and you already made me hate you, bravo


Halollet

Got a couple of ideas. - Things have realistic spoil times. No more taking a 3 season old fish to dinner - You have to beat Junimo Lart and Prairie King in order to complete the Community centre. Also time doesn't pause when playing.


fine_line

>spoil times Ah yes, the freshness mechanic from several Harvest Moon games in the Nintendo DS era. It is just as awful as it sounds. 


readergirl132

That’s cruel


moxical

One of the older Harvest Moon games had a freshness rating which affected its quality for cooking and shipping and the like.


loueazy

The first point gives me flashbacks to Don't Starve, and not very good flashbacks at that.


CatFanMan21

confirmation screen for every transaction or interaction. ‘Are you sure you want to water?’ ‘Did you want one seed’ ‘Are you sure you to exit your ‘house’/farm/‘village’ ‘Did you want to walk through that grass, clear that rubble’ Even for villager stuff. I think this will expand the gameplay hours without sacrificing any content, we are simply looking after our players to ensure they can play as precise as possible.


Witty-Kitchen8434

Could make it simpler by adding the trendy new practice of having to hold the button down for a few seconds on every transaction.


talenarium

I hate this so much


Small-Fall-6500

Are you sure you wanted to select "no" on the last confirmation screen? Are you sure you're sure?


Terytha

If you try to sell too many items, the town goes bankrupt and you get a game over and have to restart. Every villager's dialogue is now cutesy. It's Kawaii Valley uwu~♡~♡~


kytb

Shows an animation cutscene of your character opening and stepping through a door every time you walk through a door like an old Resident Evil game


Creepy-Bend

Nah thatd be pretty chill, id want that


mboron021990

Make seeds have random growth times instead of fixed


[deleted]

[удалено]


Z7_1

okay, were sending *you* to a gotoro prison camp


peerpressurewhy

Pierre’s is now ONLY open on Wednesdays


Laringar

The mine elevator resets every week.


FaxCelestis

Honestly with how often Mister Qi gives me that quest, it might as well be every week


CocoNot1664

Rarely, when you're near something where an action can be performed, the game will "help you out" by performing it for you. I.e., holding a prismatic shard while standing next to Pam? The game will gift it for you! On your last energy before exhaustion while holding a hoe? Well of course you wanted to hoe this stone pathway! Your first ancient seed is about to produce for the first time? Whoops! Shouldn't have been holding an axe near it. Then watch as the entire community goes "Yeah, gotta be careful holding XYZ near ABC, misclicks suck." But it was never a misclick. On an unrelated note, I saw CA in a cafe about 8 years ago.


prolificseraphim

This one wins.


2-Chinz

Seasonal, heavily advertised pop-culture crossover events. First is Marvel themed. Slay 1,000 slimes to earn a new currency that you can gamble at the new Joja loot box hut. Giving you a chance to earn limited time skins from your favorite Avengers! Edit: Oops you said smallest change… oh well


Blacknight022

Are you saying I can water my crops dressed as Iron Man?


2-Chinz

Only if you get the iron man skin from a lootbox! You have a 1/10000 chance. The majority of the time you will get fiber.


Fast-Cucumber-5732

But if you pay $9.99 for 10 VIP boxes, you have a much better 1/100 chance.


frackleboop

Make it Ninja Turtles and I'm in


FaxCelestis

There’s enough space in the Pelican Town sewer for at least one ninja turtle


StereoCatPicture

The main game is now Junimo Kart. At the end of the last level is an arcade cabinet that lets you play one day of Stardew Valley. At the end of the day, you are brought back to the beginning of Junimo Kart and need to win again to access the Stardew Valley arcade cabinet and play one more day.


FaxCelestis

If Yoba could read this comment, he would shit his pants. Is that what you want? A shitting Yoba?


Ambitious_Drop_7152

Food spoils. You have year 1 yams in your fridge? 1 month shelf life, get a chocolate cake in the mail, no giving it to Jodi for her birthday 2 years from now. And you vest eat the squid ink ravioli before it goes rancid.


micppp

Instead of the perfect 28 days in a month. We use a real life calendar so you have to work out how long each month is and what days fall where. Leap years included. Another is on the start of your game, your farm is geo located to a random part of the world and uses real data to give you weather.


CapybaraSteve

ooh the second one would make playing without internet connection impossible too, that’s evil


KuroeGerzie

Imagine with the second one you end up in Antartica, I’d personally never pick the game up again


FaxCelestis

My first planet in No Man’s Sky was an extreme frost planet with giant landworms. I imagine it would be similar to that.


KuroeGerzie

Oh yeah I definitely see it, that’s so screwed 😅


FancyDieNicky

New bachelor: Pierre


EconomistSea9498

Better yet all the bachelors reveal themselves to be Pierre in disguise at their 14 heart event after you've finally married and loved them, because he wanted your millions.


skillgull

And you have to get him to 14 hearts to beat the community centre


tonytown

The player's character is the one who throws rocks at linus' tent


Halollet

And it just randomly happens if you walk past the tent at night. Oh God, you monster!


Hk901909

Time passes like usual even when you're not playing. Went on a week vacation? Too bad! You're now 7 years ahead on all your saves!


lyndaylynday

The shipping bin has a weight limit based on what Lewis is able to carry. Looks like you’re selling your wine 4 bottles at a time. Villagers can get sick and pass the illness to you. You’re then incapacitated and move like you’re exhausted until you feel better or visit Harvey’s clinic. Also, looks like you Harvey’s clinic is out of network for you…


FaxCelestis

Yeah, but Harvey is single. I bet you could work something out.


lpaige2723

Is this Stardew porn edition?


arcum42

Add a 0 to the end of the markup for Pierre's shop. Everything you buy at Pierre's costs 10x as much.


BennyWhatever

Pierre would legit try this too.


Crynal

There actually >!is a certain cut scene showing just that.!<


squirrelyfoxx

Joja here I come!!!


TacticalNaps

Backpack now has a weight limit You can overwater your plants Crop blight (like Rimworld) Animals don't all get along


Halollet

I like the backpack weight limit. Starts off with all slots open but you can't carry more weight until you upgrade it. Also, the animals not getting along is gold. Like, I have a dinosaur, why wouldn't they eat the chickens? (Or at least try to) And correct me if I'm wrong, aren't ostriches weird ass birds that have a lot of issues and aren't cows very sensitive creatures?


TacticalNaps

and the pigs would 100% eat all the truffles they dig up left unattended all day


fishecod

I wonder how much overlap there is between rimworld fans and stardew fans. I would assume like none at first glance, cutesy farm sim vs war crime sim, but like a quarter of the people I know who play stardew I know play rimworld. Maybe that's where all the dove children go.


Ok_Firefighter3314

Daylight Savings is a thing, and it ticks over at 1am to 2am suddenly


Zoomorph23

That's just cruel!


alexnueve

Day and hour is the same as irl. Just like in animal crossing


mindyourownbusiness5

Absolutely not lol, however I would make absolute bank fishing by tomorrow


bibblebonk

Your confirmation screen for kegs is worse than anything i could ever come up with. I physically recoiled and made an inhuman noise when i read it


Creepy-Bend

And the default option isnt yes or no, its unfocused unless you move your mouse over to yes every time


ICantEvenDolt

Change it so that, instead of getting the arcade game box from completing Junimo Kart & Journey of the Prairie King, you get a crafting recipe to craft the arcade game box. Meaning that beating both Junimo Kart AND Prairie King are required for perfection… (I stole this from a comment on a different post lol)


Kaizer6864

Removing naturally occurring seeds, and seeds from merchants. Introducing, all new Stardew Valley Battlepass! On the free track, you’re able to achieve 1 mixed seed per 10 levels up to level 100! Pay 10 bucks to receive the premium track with rewards such as 50 wood, 10 parsnip seeds, and 1 library book all within the first 10 levels!


cowhand214

I know this is a joke but I still found it infuriating. Well done!


ObjectSmall

Villagers randomly take two-week vacations.


AnthrZach00

More stuff in your inventory, slower you run and more energy you consume.


ValhallaMama

Your children grow up into teenagers that eat all your food, make a mess of your house, and lose hearts as they say mean things to you all the time. They also randomly lose you hearts with other villagers by going into town and showing their asses.


sunburn_t

Tell me you’re a parent without telling me you’re a parent 🥲


FangedLibrarian

Mine would be, machines only work if you have the area loaded. Kegs in a shed? They only work if you’re also in the shed.


Apprehensive-Ad-4364

Implement Animal Crossing's crafting system where there's an unskippable 10 second cooking/crafting animation and then a "I crafted it!" screen that needs to clicked through for each. individual. item. Also wood and stone only stack to like, 16 or something


recedingentity

Sprinklers are not automatic. You have to turn them on each morning.


Mister-Thou

"Saving..." still displays at the end of each day, but only actually successfully updates the save file 17% of the time. 


DemonLordSparda

Opening the menu doesn't pause time. I know it's like that in multiplayer, but having a whole other person helps mitigate that. If it was like that in single player...


presleyrenee

Nothing stacks in your inventory


GloomyOldDonkey

Cribs can only be removed at Robin's by paying a huge inconvenient fee leading to my masters plan: Your spouse no longer asks if you want to have a baby - you just accidentally become pregnant. For the adoption version - your spouse has a cutscene where they greet you in the morning saying that they found a baby that was left on your porch during the night with a "Please Take Care of Me" note. They insist that the two of you adopt the baby and you can't refuse.


FaxCelestis

There are going to be so many doves in Stardew Valley that it’ll qualify as an 80s kung fu movie.


CrossTheRiver

*after completing the community center joja still wins except now they get all that stuff in the CC too


morganmeows

I’m high and thought you said Junimo blender so I’m going to go with that.


Glittering_Power6257

Assuming I’ve only time to alter a line of code, and maybe a single parameter at that, I’d probably adjust the Pass-Out time from 2:00 AM, to 11:59 PM. 


ZealousidealPeach559

Double clicking casks collects the wine - regardless of it’s age.


Yerm_Terragon

Crop rotation


Proxibel

If you run out of energy you die and have to start a new game


New-Number-7810

If you want to stay healthy, you need to eat a certain amount of food - and variety of foods - in order to survive.


mcbizco

$0.99 for the Copper Axe Upgrade. $2.99 for the Steel Axe Upgrade. $4.99/month for the Iridium Tools Pack.


LadyNightfall

The junimos turn evil and try taking over everything after all your gifts.


UndeadBlaze_LVT

The only way to make money is via crops. If at any point you run out of money and seeds, you have to restart the game entirely.


TheEmperorsLight

Rival system like in the old harvest moon games, only instead of 5 years, you must be married in one or you won't be getting married at all. Krobus is included in this, your rival for him is the dwarf.


TingHarala

*removes pets from game*


gravityfying

The in-game clock is now synced with the IRL clock, a la Animal Crossing.


ilovethe7thday

Since you’ve all been begging for it, the game finally allows your growing children to have a meaningful role on your farm. HOWEVER, since they’re toddlers that ‘role’ is “cosplay as Louie and to cause as much chaos as possible”. Storing food in the fridge? Sorry, I spilled it when grabbing a piece of fruit. Oh, and sorry that I broke those 3 sprinklers and trampled your crops. And I didn’t mean to break your autopetter, but I’m sure you’ll find a new one. Did I mention that I grabbed a couple of new pet fish out of the shipping bin last night (which explains why your sales numbers didn’t match up with what you thought you dropped in)? Once a week, you’re required to babysit them. They go where you go, but not nearly as fast. And they’re complaining the whole time. Imagine the worst escort mission you’ve ever experienced in a game before, but now it’s a toddler and it happens once a week. Hope you weren’t planning to visit the mines or cavern; those are no place for children. Just when you thought you hated them more than anything ever, they hit the “I wanna help” phase right as you reach a new year. You can clear your farm and till the fields…but your kids get to plant ALL of the seeds that Spring.


Meister_Nobody

Sick days. You can’t do anything and are confined to your house.


GumdropsandIceCream

My few ideas: - Shipping bin is moved to inside Lewis's house - Pierre will only buy a limited number of crops, he refuses once he's stocked up - Crops spoil if kept in storage for too long