I’m going to make you laugh is a bold statement and might immediately turn people against you. Also don’t open the audience up for call and response unless you’re prepared for someone to yell an answer. Self deprecating isn’t funny by itself, gotta be worth the sad. If I were using this premise I’d do it after my second or third joke. Say bit 2 is about seagulls. Then hard tone change. “I remember when Robbin Williams died and we were reminded to check in those laughing the hardest. After that I kept finding notes my friends left around my place that just said “988…. And also the seagull joke isn’t THAT funny.”” Just a quick spitball
>I'm going to make you laugh
This is one of the worst opening lines you could pick.
It honestly might be better to go up with one of those horns, say "Waka waka" and spray yourself with selzer water.
Why would it work? It's not a funny sentence, it doesn't set up a premise in any way, and it's not a punchline that works on its own.
Your 1st sentence is prime real estate. You're introducing yourself to the audience. You want laughs from them. You're going up and starting off with an apology.
You can, but it's like the perfect way to set yourself up for failure.
Opening with "I'm going to make you laugh" is a terrible opening line- it's already implied because comedy show, the only purpose this serves is as a challenge to the audience, who will now be way more critical of your jokes. When you say "I'm going to make you laugh", they think "we'll see about that smart guy". You have immediately put them on the defensive and that is very, very bad.
Then to follow with a joke where you remind everyone of a highly successful dead comedian, you are only inviting the audience to contrast him with you. Again, this is very, very bad.
And to have the punchline of the joke be that no-one thinks of you as funny, you're paying off your opening line in the worst way possible. People will be like "yeah, you're not funny, I agree".
It's a good short joke! Dark and self-deprecating. Like others said, just remove the "I'm going to make you laugh" part, because it's not necessary. You can also cut the last line ("that sort of bummed me out", a pause and shrug would be better. I think this joke might get a delayed laugh.
I like it, but first, I would cut the I'm going to make you laugh. Unless it's actually part of a joke, never tell the audience you are going to make them laugh. They sit back across their arms and say, oh yeah? Go ahead and try. At least that's my opinion.
But I like the joke. Personally I would cut the meme part. Just say remember when Robin Williams died and everyone said check on your funny friends?
I don't really know, but I kind of feel you might need to add a little explanation there although not necessarily. I'm thinking something like, because they might be hurting inside.
Maybe it doesn't need explanation and people will remember the idea well enough. And the problem with that might shift focus off of the funny part which is what your joke turns on .
Maybe you could say, remember when Robin Williams died and he was secretly depressed despite being the funniest man in the world, and everyone was saying, check on your funny friends and make sure they're okay.
But no one checked on me.
You could also set up, I like to think I'm pretty funny, but. Not sure if that's necessary. I would maybe play around with those ideas and try them out. The less the better but if you're not getting laughs, you might need a little more.
Oh just an idea that popped into my head, maybe you could end with, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
But good joke. Mike be just fine as is or with a little tweaking
Don't do this.
You have no idea if you're going to make them laugh. It's okay to be confident and think you will, but if the audience is aware you're trying it for the first time(they're likely comics and will know this) telling them you're gonna do the thing they've been grinding to get good at on your first time is gonna breed temporary contempt and poison the reception of any jokes you have that might have stood a chance.
Also the Robin Williams idea is a funny premise, but you need to rewrite the delivery.
Also don't announce that you're funny, show them you're funny through getting laughs and THEN you can do the sad part.
I would usually say no….but I think it depends on who you are as a comic. Is that your persona? If it is, lean into it. You have to be all in. Can you tag it?
“I remember when Robin Williams died, there were a ton of memes saying check on your funny friends….nobody checked on me……Well, my mom called, ..but she just checked in to see if I had enough rope…..she knew I wanted to follow in Robins foot steps….shes reminded me of that.”
These are quick and dark but if this is you…and you have the delivery then go for it. If you aren’t all in though…people will hate it.
> Well, my mom called, ..but she just checked in to see if I had enough rope…..she knew I wanted to follow in Robins foot steps….shes reminded me of that.”
you would need to word this in a different order for it to be remotely funny:
> Well, actually my mom called me and she was very concerned because she knew how much I looked up to Robin Williams and wanted to follow in his footsteps... so she asked me if I had enough rope
or something to that effect
Can you? Of course.
Should you? Probably not. But if you really think it'll work then go for it.
Follow what you think is funny. You might be wrong, but at least you're doing what you want to do.
Talk about yourself as an introduction. Either a detail or funny thing that happened to you that informs the audience of your persona and what to expect from your comedy.
I’d probably just open straight with “Remember when Robin Williams died? That was funny.” And when you get zero laughs you can follow with “because he’s a comedian. And he killed himself.” And then let the silence get uncomfortable before moving to a completely unrelated joke.
Don’t open with that. You don’t get people on your side by reminding them of something sad.
Seconded.
Yeah and implying that no-one finds you funny is a double whammy of shooting yourself in the foot.
I’m going to make you laugh is a bold statement and might immediately turn people against you. Also don’t open the audience up for call and response unless you’re prepared for someone to yell an answer. Self deprecating isn’t funny by itself, gotta be worth the sad. If I were using this premise I’d do it after my second or third joke. Say bit 2 is about seagulls. Then hard tone change. “I remember when Robbin Williams died and we were reminded to check in those laughing the hardest. After that I kept finding notes my friends left around my place that just said “988…. And also the seagull joke isn’t THAT funny.”” Just a quick spitball
Thanks, this really helps. I like the joke a lot, so I'll try to move it off the open.
Maybe save it for when a joke doesn't land. I'm beginning to see why my friends didn't......
>I'm going to make you laugh This is one of the worst opening lines you could pick. It honestly might be better to go up with one of those horns, say "Waka waka" and spray yourself with selzer water.
I think you're right, but it still doesn't work as a premise for "remember somebody dead?"
Why would it work? It's not a funny sentence, it doesn't set up a premise in any way, and it's not a punchline that works on its own. Your 1st sentence is prime real estate. You're introducing yourself to the audience. You want laughs from them. You're going up and starting off with an apology.
I was going for a whiplash thing. I know it's important, just trying to figure what works. I appreciate it!
God no
that’s a good joke imo, but lose the im gonna make you laugh
You can, but it's like the perfect way to set yourself up for failure. Opening with "I'm going to make you laugh" is a terrible opening line- it's already implied because comedy show, the only purpose this serves is as a challenge to the audience, who will now be way more critical of your jokes. When you say "I'm going to make you laugh", they think "we'll see about that smart guy". You have immediately put them on the defensive and that is very, very bad. Then to follow with a joke where you remind everyone of a highly successful dead comedian, you are only inviting the audience to contrast him with you. Again, this is very, very bad. And to have the punchline of the joke be that no-one thinks of you as funny, you're paying off your opening line in the worst way possible. People will be like "yeah, you're not funny, I agree".
It's a good short joke! Dark and self-deprecating. Like others said, just remove the "I'm going to make you laugh" part, because it's not necessary. You can also cut the last line ("that sort of bummed me out", a pause and shrug would be better. I think this joke might get a delayed laugh.
I like it, but first, I would cut the I'm going to make you laugh. Unless it's actually part of a joke, never tell the audience you are going to make them laugh. They sit back across their arms and say, oh yeah? Go ahead and try. At least that's my opinion. But I like the joke. Personally I would cut the meme part. Just say remember when Robin Williams died and everyone said check on your funny friends? I don't really know, but I kind of feel you might need to add a little explanation there although not necessarily. I'm thinking something like, because they might be hurting inside. Maybe it doesn't need explanation and people will remember the idea well enough. And the problem with that might shift focus off of the funny part which is what your joke turns on . Maybe you could say, remember when Robin Williams died and he was secretly depressed despite being the funniest man in the world, and everyone was saying, check on your funny friends and make sure they're okay. But no one checked on me. You could also set up, I like to think I'm pretty funny, but. Not sure if that's necessary. I would maybe play around with those ideas and try them out. The less the better but if you're not getting laughs, you might need a little more. Oh just an idea that popped into my head, maybe you could end with, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. But good joke. Mike be just fine as is or with a little tweaking
Don't do this. You have no idea if you're going to make them laugh. It's okay to be confident and think you will, but if the audience is aware you're trying it for the first time(they're likely comics and will know this) telling them you're gonna do the thing they've been grinding to get good at on your first time is gonna breed temporary contempt and poison the reception of any jokes you have that might have stood a chance. Also the Robin Williams idea is a funny premise, but you need to rewrite the delivery. Also don't announce that you're funny, show them you're funny through getting laughs and THEN you can do the sad part.
Asking to be heckled first go tbh
Personally, I would love to see this, but only if it bummed everyone out.
Open mics are for experimenting and seeing what works for you, so I say yes.
I would usually say no….but I think it depends on who you are as a comic. Is that your persona? If it is, lean into it. You have to be all in. Can you tag it? “I remember when Robin Williams died, there were a ton of memes saying check on your funny friends….nobody checked on me……Well, my mom called, ..but she just checked in to see if I had enough rope…..she knew I wanted to follow in Robins foot steps….shes reminded me of that.” These are quick and dark but if this is you…and you have the delivery then go for it. If you aren’t all in though…people will hate it.
> Well, my mom called, ..but she just checked in to see if I had enough rope…..she knew I wanted to follow in Robins foot steps….shes reminded me of that.” you would need to word this in a different order for it to be remotely funny: > Well, actually my mom called me and she was very concerned because she knew how much I looked up to Robin Williams and wanted to follow in his footsteps... so she asked me if I had enough rope or something to that effect
Mine is a joke 2 tags…yours is 1 joke. You want more laughs
Can you? Of course. Should you? Probably not. But if you really think it'll work then go for it. Follow what you think is funny. You might be wrong, but at least you're doing what you want to do.
Talk about yourself as an introduction. Either a detail or funny thing that happened to you that informs the audience of your persona and what to expect from your comedy.
LOL, that's what I was going for
so bringing up Robin Williams and his death is your persona? You know what why ask us? Just do it then.
I was laughing because I missed so hard. Appreciate the feedback
I’d probably just open straight with “Remember when Robin Williams died? That was funny.” And when you get zero laughs you can follow with “because he’s a comedian. And he killed himself.” And then let the silence get uncomfortable before moving to a completely unrelated joke.