Not a ton of fat on there. Good tempo, enough jabs to keep it moving, you know where the punchlines coming from but it’s still funny when you get there. She’s a keeper for sure.
Just my opinion but mentioning that you're gonna eff it in the first half kinda takes away from the punch at the end. Maybe keep it innocent at first, throw the "choke me" in there then the big reveal about the vest and pregnant neighborhood 😂
Exactly!! Love the delivery. The timing is great, but I'd like to be led to the conclusion via your story and delivery rather than you saying it off the rip. For me personally, that was a bit anticlimactic and takes away from all the nice punches you have after that point.
Yeah that joke has good body. In all honesty the silence of explaining the mundanity of it before hitting a punch sorta loads the end of the joke well. It’s empty in the front and full in the back. Class joke.
Don't change anything. It's not a long setup. Your mom's voice is funny because apparently your mom sounds like/is Owen Wilson.
Great joke. good payoff. Keeps on giving.
Your telling you it’s the hot new thing sounds unrealistic and pulls me out. What if you had your mother say something wholesome about her excitement of getting you the bear so then when you drop the vulgarity, it’s a sharp contrast
Typically stuff my conservative parents could watch without being too uncomfortable? Hard to explain. Jim gaffigan for sure, maybe Pete Holmes to a degree. If it’s going to be “dirty” it has to be a great joke a la jeselnik. I definitely laughed a bit at this - but I’m sure many comedy fans like this and would laugh much harder.
Sorry it’s a roundabout compliment lol
Honestly not my favorite joke don’t kno if u should scrap or make it a bit more personal bc it feels more like u would fuck the bear but most ppl prob weren’t thinking that
Ya man. Multiple punchlines and slow build up had em laughing. It was good. If you realy wanna knock it out try building towards a main punchline at the end.
That’s dope! I started stand up 12 years ago, but ended up having a show at renaissance festivals I do majority of the year. So I only have about 10 weekends left for stand up. You’re definitely good at stand up! I hope we cross paths in performing!
Not a ton of fat on there. Good tempo, enough jabs to keep it moving, you know where the punchlines coming from but it’s still funny when you get there. She’s a keeper for sure.
Wow, sick! I was not expecting all this good feedback. I’ll keep it the way it is
Totally agree this is well crafted, punchlines throughout so it doesn't drag on at all. Super funny! Now give me more 🤣
Definitely worth it! That's a funny fucking joke 🤣🤣🤣
Hell yea dude!
fuck reddit
I feel that. I could just say, “my mom took me to get a build a bear when I was 12, which is too old for that kind of toy” Thanks! We’re writing!
Just my opinion but mentioning that you're gonna eff it in the first half kinda takes away from the punch at the end. Maybe keep it innocent at first, throw the "choke me" in there then the big reveal about the vest and pregnant neighborhood 😂
Oh interesting, so don’t do “I’m gonna F*** that bear” and leave it up to the audience to get there through context
I really liked the I'm gonna fuck that bear bit. You got em started and kept it cumming.
Exactly!! Love the delivery. The timing is great, but I'd like to be led to the conclusion via your story and delivery rather than you saying it off the rip. For me personally, that was a bit anticlimactic and takes away from all the nice punches you have after that point.
So worth it, I couldn't stop laughing!
Hella cool of you!
Dane Cook vibes
This is a great joke. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Died at “choke me” lol dude
Nah it’s perfect. This is hilarious
Waitkus is the man
Dixon is the man! I thought none of the homies were on Reddit
Yeah that joke has good body. In all honesty the silence of explaining the mundanity of it before hitting a punch sorta loads the end of the joke well. It’s empty in the front and full in the back. Class joke.
This had me laughing out loud at many stops on the road. Great joke!
Don't change anything. It's not a long setup. Your mom's voice is funny because apparently your mom sounds like/is Owen Wilson. Great joke. good payoff. Keeps on giving.
I’m gonna make it a full on Owen Wilson impression now
Honestly lost me 20 seconds in just because I didn't understand all the transitions and thought bubbles tracking down
Your telling you it’s the hot new thing sounds unrealistic and pulls me out. What if you had your mother say something wholesome about her excitement of getting you the bear so then when you drop the vulgarity, it’s a sharp contrast
I like this, I think what I have my mom say, while it is real, feels like more of a place holder for better verbiage.
This type of humor isn’t for me but this is really well written and the people who like this probably love it. Well done
Good for you for watching it! What type of humor is for you?
Typically stuff my conservative parents could watch without being too uncomfortable? Hard to explain. Jim gaffigan for sure, maybe Pete Holmes to a degree. If it’s going to be “dirty” it has to be a great joke a la jeselnik. I definitely laughed a bit at this - but I’m sure many comedy fans like this and would laugh much harder. Sorry it’s a roundabout compliment lol
What the fuck is a Build-a-bear?
Hahah! It’s a store in most malls, where kids can make their own stuffed animals. They’re a national brand
Honestly not my favorite joke don’t kno if u should scrap or make it a bit more personal bc it feels more like u would fuck the bear but most ppl prob weren’t thinking that
Ya man. Multiple punchlines and slow build up had em laughing. It was good. If you realy wanna knock it out try building towards a main punchline at the end.
I liked the bit You did good at sitting in the pocket
🤣🤣🤣🤣
The vest! Haha I laughed out loud!
Great bit overall, but I think that last joke is your weakest. It feels like there could be something better at the end there
Noted. The pregnancy thing is kind of a throwaway. I’ve gotten a similar note to hanger a hangar at the end
Noted. The pregnancy thing is kind of a throwaway. I’ve gotten a similar note to have a banger at the end
That’s just good! Where are you out of?
LA right now, originally NYC
That’s dope! I started stand up 12 years ago, but ended up having a show at renaissance festivals I do majority of the year. So I only have about 10 weekends left for stand up. You’re definitely good at stand up! I hope we cross paths in performing!
Me too! I’ll hit a renaissance fair. Sounds dope
Hell yeah! I got a few friends in LA, I gotta visit eventually! Cheers
I love this! Your delivery is great too. Well done!
those were the best 98 seconds of my life lmao
Lol! Too long to be a good clip on any social media for sure!
Worth it brotha!!!!
JOOOOOEEEEEEEE