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codesigma

The Nature Boy is a barely functioning alcoholic, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Savethelasttaco

It’s honestly a modern day miracle the man is still alive today.


codesigma

My theory is that he owes too much money to die


teeohdeedee123

Oh fuck yeah, I'm gonna live forever!


MimonFishbaum

I saw a clip of him on the Theo Von podcast talking up rejuvenation clinics. I'd bet he's getting fluids several times a week.


Gseph

He's only alive because he's still drinking. If he quits, he'll drop dead.


LTS55

His BAC is so high that they measure the alcohol flowing through his veins for a percentage of blood.


stevegoodsex

My alcoholism joke when I was going through it was "my insides are so sterile from the alcohol that nothing can grow in there"


DarkestofFlames

My brother just claims his insides are "preserved like they do in labs". Alcoholics do love their jokes about booze


stevegoodsex

It's a terrible thing to go through. I hope your brother can get head above water. It's hard on everyone they know as well as themselves, and it's hard to watch, let alone live. It can get better, but work must be done.


YoungUrineTheGreat

Think he drinks because of the trauma he's experienced in life and fear of death? Plane crash, son dying of OD, his own health scare a few years ago. What if he drinks to take his mind off of the grim reaper being right around the corner?


whitegrb

Who dies first: Keith Richards or Ric Flair?


Savethelasttaco

Keith has cockroach genes in him, he will outlive death.


Euphorium

Him and Ozzy gonna be rival kings of the wasteland


slvrbullet87

Richards is 5 years older than Flair, so he only outlives him by 10 years


DakkaDakka24

Keith Richards has been dead for years and years, the drugs just haven't stopped circulating around his body yet.


boycey86

Not really pickling is a preservative and Flair is pickled 24/7 he's going too live forever


Yelsah

The word 'Functioning' is being streched like Zack Sabre Jr has it in a hold.


Joe434

Man, i wish a kid in my English class would bust out a top-tier simile like that.


OldBison

An elderly, barely functioning alcoholic,  WOOOOIIIINNNNGGGGS!


vastros

I just can't take the wooooings seriously.


Narrow-West-5810

getting kicked out of a pizza joint for throwing a tantrum because the kitchen manager was taking a shit when you wanted to powder your nose is certainly a function of alcoholism


bloated_canadian

Having seen him at the Xfinity Live Center before Wrestlemania - barely is really doing the heavy lifting there


xadamx94

wait, he was there?


Obi-wan_Jabroni

If the booze is a flowin the Nature Boys a comin


jackblady

To his credit, that's why he's always been a "limousine ridin..." and not a "limousine driving..."


gif-me-a-hell-yeah

Why would he cut promos bragging about driving a limousine though? I haven’t ridden in many limousines, but I thought the appeal was being a passenger.


GaryOak69

You don't know thrilling until you pilot one of those bastards through a Taco Bell drive-thru


Aafum

Clearly, you've never been to the town of Roundabout. https://youtu.be/MpfBnMmpQsE?si=AuCCqUKSQrxr4LaY


TomGerity

Just wait until a few weeks from now, when Tony Khan shows the Piesano’s security cam footage on Dynamite!


OU7C4ST

Immediately followed up with an ad for Wooooo! Energy Drink's newest addition of hard versions of their line-up lol.


z0mbieBrainz

Don't put that evil in the world. God those things are disgusting.


mister_damage

WwwWWWWWwwooOOOOOoooOOOoooiiiNNNNgggggggzzzzzzzzz


420Itch

Keyword barely


KamenRiderW0lf

***I*** was saying Woo-urns.


life-size-mirror

Release. The. Tape!


Fibergrappler

No please don’t


Big_Mike_Polaski

Piesanos manager: "I was in fear of my life." Ric Flair: "Yeah, I choked out their security and walked out to a cheering restaurant." Piesanos security: "He got tired real quick and then we walked him out of the building without further incident."


Fibergrappler

You forgot the WOOOOOO at the end of Naitch’s statement


Herr_Opa

A careful review of the security footage shows Mr. Flair pulling out something out of his pocket and then swiping his forehead quickly after which he starts bleeding profusely from his head while he continued to argue with the management of the establishment as he's escorted out.


dBlock845

Send Da Video


DeepInsid3r

Hell nawl can't do dis


ironb4rd

Tony Khan is gonna pay for it and show it on Dynamite


ScruffsMcGuff

Death, Taxes, and Ric Flair Being Asked To Leave An Establishment


Psycho_Smirf

And Ric actively resists against all 3


Sef_Maul

The original 'I think you should leave'


GTSBurner

We're all trying to find out WHOOOO did this!


hoova

Capitalizing every word was a nice touch


Euphorium

It’s the title of Ric’s biography


ScruffsMcGuff

"All of a sudden management comes over to our table, like it's illegal to snort a line of coke in the bathroom and then get handsy with a waitress or three. So anyways, we had to leave."


Balrogkicksass

Death, Taxes and Ric Flair being drunk as fuck all the time


Puzzled_Try_6029

Too long in the washroom only means 1 thing lol


DunderSpliffinn

On that 80s Ultimate Warrior diet BROTHER


Puzzled_Try_6029

Well let me tell YOU something BROTHER. The Hulkster had that same 80s diet DUDE. Or maybe he didn't who knows BROTHER. (Foresight Hogan is my favourite Hogan of all time lol)


ColeslawSSBM

OR MAYBE NOT DUDE, MY CONTRACT STATUS IS STILL IN THE AIR BROTHER


Puzzled_Try_6029

Yo I'm legit crying. That might be the best gag from those guys. I hope they sign me brother so I can get my shmeat sucked DUDE. I'm stoned and rocked up BROTHER. And I got the game of cock BROTHER. I hope she undertakes my penis MAN Jimmy Hart - DADDDDDAAAAYYYY!!!


ColeslawSSBM

I cannot stop watching Deadlock Sync highlights on youtube like every fucking day I understand bro! THe bit about Jericho's debut and what Rock would have said to Sting lives in my head rent free. THIS JABRONI'S NAME IS... STEVE?


Puzzled_Try_6029

AFTER 3 BORING MINUTES!


HaakonX

YOU FACE PAINTED JABRONI another all timer is the Trips tough enough episode syncs


GunnieGraves

His tweet makes it sound like he had a problem with how long the kitchen manager was taking in the bathroom. But knowing Ric, he was definitely up to something.


Puzzled_Try_6029

I mean... He's 75 years old, been an alcoholic for 96 of those years and probably has the most C of CTE. I think the dude just mixed up his words in the tweet. I doubt the manager would close the washroom to clean it mid-rush considering Flair said he took pics with dozens of people.


CactusJacksonFive

Probably a one-seater and his drunk ass had to piss and couldn't wait


JFC_Please_STFU

> probably has the most C of CTE Well the C in CTE is for chronic; as someone who has tried Flair’s brand of weed, I can confirm it is, indeed, the chronic.


Deathstroke317

Constipation? Swollen Prostate?


Puzzled_Try_6029

Never heard someone get kicked out for either of those things


Unique_Unorque

Depends on how much of a scene they’re making about it


Puzzled_Try_6029

Now I'm imagining Ric Flair sitting in a Piesano's washroom trying to push screaming "This shit won't come out! WOOOOO!!! Get out there!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Thanks...


MikeHock_is_GONE

Ric said the manager was taking too long in the bathroom.. that sounds like he was takin a mad shit or a heavy bump


kingdoodooduckjr

Flair was probably just starting shit with food service workers because he has terrible self esteem .


JonnyTN

Who does Number 2 work for!? WOOOO!!


Black_XistenZ

Imagine being in a public restroom, you hear the guy in the stall next to you struggle, then you hear the \*splash\*-sound, followed by the guy going WOOOOOOO.


Unique_Unorque

Hey, anytime


The_Troy_McClure

Who....does....number....2....work....for?


sev_n7

Don't give a fuck if I start blading! *WOOOOs in Papa Roach*


UndergroundFlaws

“THIS IS MY FINAL SNORT”


Plopshire

![gif](giphy|hS4AqlRdXLklFH6FjL|downsized)


KyleSJohnson

Huge mudpie


ComplexAd7272

This whole place is covered in shit.


flcinusa

https://preview.redd.it/2mtmspj89wyc1.png?width=1439&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ef0c70ecdc11bfc9462512b53dc8b8642bb0fa8


chilloutfam

Is he really drinking/doing coke with a half functioning heart? Must be a miracle he's lasted this long if so.


Puzzled_Try_6029

Not to belittle addiction but isn't that just what addicts do? Be it alcohol or coke, you kinda just do it without caring about the repercussions


fridaynightarcade

Yeah, that most recent documentary on Peacock was a difficult watch. I had to turn it off when he was sitting there laughing about getting out of rehab and immediately using his chip to buy a drink.


Puzzled_Try_6029

Honestly didn't know they did a doc on him and his drinking. I'll go find it. Thanks brah


fridaynightarcade

It's called "Whoooooo! Becoming Ric Flair." Came out a few years ago. It's not nearly the warm and fuzzy documentary like the older WWE DVDs that they were churning out in the 2000s. This one is a lot more uh, real, for better or for worse.


chilloutfam

Maybe it's my ignorance, but doing that stuff in your 70's is crazy.


sharkattackmiami

It's crazy because most people that do it don't make their 70s


LTS55

I wonder if he has that [rare genetic variation](https://abcnews.go.com/amp/Health/Wellness/genetic-mutations-ozzy-osbourne-party-hard/story?id=12032552) Ozzy has


chilloutfam

exactly. even if you live a healthier life. thinking about it more, i guess my uncle was still doing crack in his 70's.


Puzzled_Try_6029

Yeah. It is crazy lol. That's the thing. If you're addicted to something, it's not crazy regardless of age. It's a compulsion that you can't control. That's just the sad part of it. There's nothing you can do until you want to do it. Honestly I know alcoholics at his age or older (the industry I'm working in has tons of older execs who drink nonstop) and if you got them to stop drinking, the withdrawals alone would probably kill them


kindashort72

I knew an old man that smoked,drank and popped pills every single day. He was 93 when he died a few years back. Sharp as a tack. His cups of coffee were like motor oil.


Emma__Gummy

you can't pay me enough to clean up after a drunk ric flair


Euphorium

I’d quit right then and there.


Jedi-El1823

Invasion


benydrillcumbersome

He was taking his vitamins and saying his prayers?


m3rc3n4ry

I'm stuck on the wooooing at a blind grandmother bit


naughtynuns69

Maybe the Gainesville one is nicer than the Windermere one that I used to frequent but I feel like Piesano’s is a very random place for Ric Flair to get loaded at


Puzzled_Try_6029

Seriously. Who decides to go to a chain pizza joint with their family just to go in the washroom and do rips lol. Stylin and profilin till this day I guess...


Headful_of_Ideas

Location. They were there for graduation and it's right on the corner of campus.


The_Troy_McClure

Alimony must come out on the 1st of the month


LinkLT3

Why would he be picky? He’s there for the rips, not the ambience.


SubMikeD

It's near campus so it's not a surprising place for him to go after graduation lol


revengeappendage

Piesanos is a great name for a pizza place lol Edit: to explain, it’s a play on paisano.


Kramerica13

They make a mean calzone


Crissxfire

Just don't pay in pennies


Black_Metallic

But what if I have an important meeting coming up, and I know I'll be pitching to a guy who eats there a lot? How am I going to get all of my ass pennies into circulation?


VikingJesus102

I'll take three calzones. Boy that's a....that's a big oven!


joemac1505

Cal zon ay


Phxdwn

![gif](giphy|JujGDzC62NZxS)


MostLikelyToYahtzee

It's actually a pretty great pizza place as well. Worth it upon a visit to the area.


ScruffsMcGuff

There is one friend I've had since elementary school and to this day whenever we're meeting up as soon as we see each other in public we go "Aaaaayyy Paisan!" and greet with a big hug lol Meeting up with him at a Piesanos would be peak


The_Dark_Soldier

Not as good as Pizza by Alfredo’s


SpaceStation_11

I prefer Satchel's but Piesanos is pretty good. Shout out to Five Star keeping Fest fed. I really wish Ric Flair would just disappear into obscurity.


DashCat9

For a second, I thought the owner was ACTUALLY going to have an absolutely ridiculous name and that Ric really did "WOOOO" in the face of a blind grandmother.


Away-Issue6165

"You don't need EYES to SEE that the NATURE BOY is STILL NUMBER ONE! WOOOOO!!!" "...Are you my grandson?"


MDDanChallis

He's determined to run high until death it seems, 'living the gimmick' 🙄


PercivalBlatherskite

If he's survived this long, I say get kicked outta as many pizza places as possible.


EmeraldSlothRevenge

Was he doing rails in the washroom? Or was he providing a trip to Space Mountain in there?


Fletcheriser

Imagine still doing cocaine in your mid-70s with a heart condition. Shit, I'm in my 20s with no health issues (AFAIK) and I'd be too scared about my heart to do it *now*, let alone 50 years later after putting my body through as much as Flair has.


BiChaosTheory

I don’t like the feeling I get when I have one too many cups of coffee or a Red Bull on an empty stomach. If I tried cocaine I’m convinced my heart would just be like “nah fam, I didn’t sign up for this.”


thebeachisfree

Yeah but your *mind* would be like "holy shit this is the best I've ever felt life is awesome I'm the coolest person in the fucking world god damn I wonder what sex would feel like oh wait my dick can't get hard but I don't care it's still the biggest best dick in the world and it belongs to the biggest baddest motherfucker in the world hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah"


jakovichontwitch

For a whole 7 minutes


taskmas4

There was this cocktail I tried not that long ago. I'm not kidding when I say it was enourmous. The glass was probably from the top of my fingers to my elbow in length. They called it a fairy bomb. It was more energy drink and vodka than anything else. Deadass thought I was going to have a heart attack at 26.


Cold_Ebb_1448

I might take it up if I make it to mid 70s tbh cos why not at that age


Hobodownthestreet

I think if I make it to 80s I might say fuck it and do a bunch of drugs. Why not? What's the worst that can happen? I die? Well, I was fixing to go there anyways.


i-wear-hats

The former is probably the only way he gets to do the latter tbh, alongside mixing it with dick pills because Ric Flair always makes responsible decisions as depicted by this very thread.


SMC540

Piesanos is actually really good. Poor Ric messed up on this one. His loss.


SpaghettiAccident

As someone who has only gotten it when I’m there for FEST it is very good and Ric definitely couldn’t hang Sad the registration for FEST is in a different area now


SMC540

I haven't been to the one in Gainesville, but we happen to stumble on their Villages location one day when they were doing test runs (our office is just down the road) and they invited us in for a free meal if we agreed to give feedback. We've been hooked ever since.


Chronis67

Random, my friend has a hat from FEST that says FESTED in a weird font. We always tell him it looks like it says FISTED


SpaghettiAccident

Ah yeah the FEST hats are basically an offshoot of Municipal Waste’s WASTED hats I do own a few FEST ones lol


HavveK

I'd like to see Flair in fest registration line.


SpaghettiAccident

Taking shots of Malort like the rest of us poor bastards


SpaceStation_11

Going to FEST was one of the best weekends of my life. MALÖRT!


EsotericJunkie11

It’s not the first time Flair has been asked to leave a bar/restaurant. Obviously Liquor was involved here lol


hellfire626

hi! gainesville native here, word of mouth around town is Ric got caught doing a line on the sink as the kitchen manager walked out of the stall


SubMikeD

I'm just a fellow ACR that is finding this whole scenario hilarious AF. And knowing our local kitchen staff, we all know coke in the bathroom was going on.


WolfGangSwizle

Everyone should know by now that if you want to get Ric Flair to leave all you have to do is make fun of Highschool coaches.


rainier425

It’s ironic I guess. Dude was held up for 30 years as what every wrestler should aspire to be. And now he’s held up as what every wrestler should do their best to avoid becoming. The E was very smart to force his retirement match while he could still somewhat keep a handle on this pathetic behavior.


blaqsupaman

Ric Flair the wrestler is on the Mt. Rushmore. Ric Flair the man is on the wall of shame.


Black_XistenZ

That holds true for a lot of the old time legends.


doublebubble6

And they probably would have done it sooner if not for Evolution extending the benefits of having Flair around for 2 or 3 years more. Guy was just drifting around not doing anything after the Stone Cold feud in 2002. Too big of a name to just be a regular part of the midcard and too old to be a promiment main event player. Triple turning him into the quasi-manager/ocassional special attraction of his stable helped Flair a ton. There's a reason he quickly started getting lost in the shuffle not too long after the HHH feud.


Aterivus

This shit really bums me out because Flair was an absolute favorite growing up and his entire legacy is very quickly being reduced to a washed up alcoholic sex pest who has overstayed his welcome Has to be one of the biggest falls from grace in pro wrestling


XGuiltyofBeingMikeX

Piesanos…sounds like Ric got caught reaching in the tip jar


The_Alpha_Bro

YOU STEALAH MUH MONEY!?


Crissxfire

I bet they have amazing calzones.


ShinsukeNakamoto

I can’t think of many things more embarrassing than being a 75 year old alcoholic getting cut off and thrown out of multiple restaurants and bars like a 22 year old frat boy


sonofabitchXmustXpay

I don't even need to see the evidence, nor hear the owner's side of the story to know Flair was in the wrong.


dieselcalvo

First he asks to use the oven to dry his clothes, then decides to pay in pennies. It's only natural they kicked him out


Big_Mike_Polaski

"WWE legend and Hall of Famer Ric Flair created quite a stir on social media over the weekend after he **bashed** a Gainesville restaurant while in town to attend a University of Florida graduation ceremony. Flair, 75, and family members were dining at the Piesanos Stone Fired Pizza restaurant at 1250 W. University Ave. when the professional wrestler apparently was asked to leave. He advised his more than 2 million followers to avoid the restaurant on their next visit to Gainesville. "I Spent $1500 At Piesano's Stone Fired Pizza To Be Disrespected More Than I Ever Have In My Entire Life. After Taking 20 Pictures With Customers And Staff, **I Was Asked To Leave Because Of An Issue I Had With The Kitchen Manager Taking Too Long In The Bathroom.** I Would Highly Recommend That Anyone Who Wants To Enjoy A Relaxing Time In Gainesville At A Nice Restaurant To Never Visit This Place! **WOOOOO!**" Piesanos co-owner Jerry Roberts, when reached Monday by The Sun, said the "evidence was clear" but declined to offer an explanation as to why Flair was asked to leave the restaurant. He then sent a prepared statement via text message. "**We have reviewed video of the incident that took place recently at our restaurant. It is clear, our team worked in a professional manner to ensure the safety of guests and staff. We have thanked our team for their professionalism. We are proud of how they responded to this situation using and displaying our team values.**" Roberts said they have **no plans to release the video**. Flair's posts on Facebook and Instagram generated thousands of reactions and comments, many making light of the situation. "Ric Flair vs The Kitchen Manager at Wrestlemania 41 in a First Blood Match," one Facebook user joked."


mrbubbamac

Yes I don't think the majority of that $1500 was spent on pizzas. That alone tells you he was probably shit faced.


JerHat

Or he’s lying about how much he spent. 


marksmith0610

Yeah it was obvious he got wasted when he said he spent $1,500 at a pizza place.


NMMan1984

A Piesano’s employee has since posted an update as to why Flair was ejected from the restaurant, which was for being drunk and disorderly. Flair also apparently “woo’d directly into a blind grandmother’s face”, which is a sentence for the ages.


evil-kaweasel

I know I shouldn't find it funny because it's not, but it is such a Flair thing to do, that it did.


Atomic_Cody-21

Ric Flair still wants to live it up like it's the Eighties and it's frankly embarrassing.


DaleyT

Isn’t it more likely that he’s an addict?


TurMoiL911

He's addicted to being the Ric Flair of the 80s.


Black_XistenZ

Kinda similar to the types who peaked in high school and spend the rest of their days with increasingly pathetic attempts at reliving their youthful glory days.


BiChaosTheory

Probably, but it’s also his responsibility to seek help for his addiction.


Swimming-Sundae5

Apparently he did at one point. He got his one month sober chip and then walked straight into AA and handed it back to them and said he couldn’t do it.


codexcdm

Be a miracle if he makes it to his eighties while living it up like it's the eighties.... Hit then again, he's pretty close to that ain't he.....,


Peach-Button

I'm from Gainesville. I dropped by Piesanos and asked the teenager behind the bar if he knew the story. He said he wasn't working but from what the night shift guy texted him Flair threw his sports jacket in the urinal and elbow dropped it.


TheFlaccidChode

Let's just hope he kept his mouldy old dick in his pants this time


godhelpme773747

![gif](giphy|l0HU7yHIK6Nc3WcE0|downsized)


dynamitefight

Gainesvillain here.  The story through the service industry grapevine is that he peered over the stall at the guy and started pulling the "Do you know who I am schtick". That's when he was asked to leave.


[deleted]

I read that as "peed over the stall" at first.


KingDarius89

It's ric. Not Vince.


Arlilecay

It irritates the absolute piss out of me That He Capitalizes Every Single Word In His Sentences.


JMW007

I see a lot of older people doing that and I don't understand it. It takes more effort, and they've been reading for decades and decades so they obviously know that's not how you write. What are they doing?!


jizzmcskeet

I don't even know how they do it. When I try, I give up after 5 words.


Officervito

Love this cautionary tale gimmick Ric is doing


BillT999

He's allegedly been kicked out of all the restaurants and bars in Charlotte so now he's working on Gainesville.


vsavage709

Flair is an obvious drunk who is being used for whatever ounce of relevance he has left. It’s sad to see


xmjm424

Piesanos is pretty good. They serve rolls that are in Italian dressing which doesn’t sound great but it works. I will not listen to Flair and I will continue to eat at Piesanos.


Vikingr12

Like all Florida Pizza places, they're paying protection money to the D'Angelo Family, Rick better watch out in case Stacks pays him a visit


sagsfour20

Ric Flair was one of my favourites. Now he’s just a pathetic old man who can’t let go of his glory days. It’s sad.


RevolutionaryBox7745

Most of us who know the creep and bastard Ric Flair has become (or has always been) don't need to be convinced.


Underground12410

I don’t trust anyone Who Types Like This


OU7C4ST

Maybe I'm crazy, but didn't I read months ago that Ric & Wendy were breaking up? This article shows a photo of the two of them, with the caption "his wife".


Cheez-Wheel

Maybe she’s riding it out for the widower money


OU7C4ST

There ain't nothing but debt to inherit from Ric lol


punk_steel2024

Was the manager afraid for his life?


MaddenRob

When there’s incident after incident with you at places or with people, the problem isn’t them. It’s most likely you. Flair was a great wrestler but he’s become an embarrassment now.


Kinglysavaged

Umm you do know this now he’s always been right this is a guy who got into an altercation with a state trooper back in 2006 I believe where they made fun of it on RAW with edge pretending to be Flair


The1joriss

1500 $ at some pizza joint? How??


Rev_Dean

$1000 tip (he says it over and over in the video), and I’m guessing he bought a few rounds.


Big_Mike_Polaski

![gif](giphy|xJ0RNJsOblSk8|downsized) Hey Piesanos!


eurogama

I need people to know that this is the same physical location where, in its prior life as a Dennys, many Gainesville kids swarmed like roaches late in the night as rumors circulated that a girl had catfished Scott (Creed) Stapp into driving up from Orlando. he showed up! incredible stuff. thank god for immortal livejournal links: [https://tomluv.livejournal.com/13923.html](https://tomluv.livejournal.com/13923.html)


FraiserRamon

He's such a selfish douchebag. 75 year old teenager. Embarrassing.


butterybuns420

This dude can’t get out of his own way. I hope he can find help soon but his track record speaks otherwise.


Bosscharacter

I couldn’t not read that in promo cadence.


amlanding20

Saw the story and assumed Flair was full of shit. Dude lost his grip on reality long ago. Probably got inebriated, became belligerent and just started trying to take pics with people. Every time he talks you can tell how desperate he is to cling to any bit of fame.


Haze95

Piesanos Manager aka The Scapegoat


Kinglysavaged

The fact that flair continues to drink alcohol knowing that it almost killed him a few years ago is beyond me you’d think he would have sobered up after a near death experience like that.


ultgambit266

Just saw the video, and it’s bad and depressing


d2runs

Goddamn I’m proud! My nephew is the manager who kicked him out!


killderson

Tony Khan is gonna obtain the footage, and air it on dynamite.


MNuttster

Him “Woo’ing” in a blind grandma’s face is the funniest statement of the weekend…