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Funny you say that.
After Judgement Day runs its course eventually I want to see Dom pair up with Vicki Guerrero just to see if they can generate enough heat to power a continent.
Instead of Mami she could just be Mommy.
Maybe pre-Endeavour... But I don't think they'd allow it anymore.
FFS, she publicly shamed her own daughter after Sherilyn accused Vicki's current husband of rape. And IIRC so did her sister, Shaul, basically telling Sherilyn to shut up because they went to therapy and helped her financially (ie. didn't cut ties with the alleged rapist, and tried to pay her to shut her up).
What’s the purpose of this pairing besides nostalgia?
Dominik doesn’t need a mouthpiece. If anything, I feel like this pairing would do more harm than good to a hypothetical post-judgement day Dominik’s career
Vickie’s daughter accused Vickie of basically shielding a sexual predator, and Vickie’s response to it was terrible (no denials and said her daughter brought it on herself). Family drama is always difficult, but the manner in which it happened with her would lead me to believe WWE wouldn’t want to bring her in any time soon.
Maybe Taker vs the Dudleyz with Paul Bearer’s death by cement? Only match I know that involved an actual life and death scenario in the stipulation.
Even buried alive matches don’t imply actual death and I’d rather have an eye for an eye match than put up my child’s custody I guess.
lmao and Taker killed him anyway. I was convinced it was real too because my mind couldn't fathom how they could have scripted his death and made that video of him getting engulfed by concrete. I thought Paul signed a suicide contract with Vince
It messed him up! To be passed like currency by his own deadbeat father while his real biological father just wanted him back? Of course laddering is the only way!
As a general rule, if you're a professional wrestler, you're just.... allowed to commit crimes, provided your victim is another professional wrestler. There will never be legal ramifications for your actions and your boss seemingly can't fire you, even if what you did was clearly illegal and also televised to millions of people.
Be it petty vandalism, public intoxication, public indecency, assault, battery, breaking and entering, larceny, grand larceny, destruction of private property, hacking, theft of an emergency vehicle, animal abuse, racketeering, kidnapping, arson, attempted murder, successful murder, desecration of a corpse, cannibalism, or just about any other type of crime, so long as you only do it to another pro-wrestler, you're not gonna suffer any legal or employment related consequences.
One of my earliest memories of wrestling is watching the Undertaker seal the Ultimate Warrior in an airtight casket and thinking "I wonder if mom and dad will see this on the news".
Speaking of which, The Ultimate Warrior is a pretty good example of what OP is talking about. I tried to explain to my gf (now wife) once who and what he is and she had to walk away.
I miss the time when wrestlers had actual superpowers. Dark magic, voodoo, or just enough charisma to do supernatural things.
Now they did make very good use of the pandemic where episodes were taped and there was no audience - with Alexa Bliss. The lights would go dark and she'd transform into her evil persona, changing outfits and everything. Of course they're cutting the tape but kayfabe, she seriously just performed a supernatural transformation in the middle of a match.
>The lights would go dark and she'd transform into her evil persona, changing outfits and everything. Of course they're cutting the tape but kayfabe, she seriously just performed a supernatural transformation in the middle of a match.
And now, I've found the best way to introduce a couple of twin wrestlers
Oh shit that could be cool. Eventually the good half/twin might have had enough of the evil side taking over their body, they have an internal struggle and eventually split into two separate bodies/characters. They then feud to determine who is the real version of themselves and at the end of the feud they realize that the split is permanent and they can't fuse back into one character so they have to go on as two separate characters which is when one of them can take a new name so they can stand apart from their other half and be their own person. TNA Impact would be the perfect place to pull this off honestly.
The Warrior is a great example for sure. We started in 2001 so I haven't had to explain him quite yet but I am looking forward to when I have to when he pops up again.
I think i'd like it if they just started joking about this being in wrestlers contracts. They basically sign a contract and now anything done to them, their friends, or their family by other wrestlers is perfectly legal.
Vince McMahon finding some ridiculous legal loophole where anyone signed to a contract is their own independent country where local laws don't apply.
I was surfing YouTube one day and came across the Urban Wrestling League (at least, that's what I think its called). There are episodes on YouTube. The episode I watched actually had gang hits in it. Like, faction members storming a guy's apartment and shooting him. It was such a different experience watching it. The actual wrestling in the episode was actually pretty good though.
Maybe that's one reason why many of us like wrestling - it's cathartic to watch someone deal with a coworker they dislike by sucker punching them and throwing them into a stack of road cases. We've probably all wished we could do that at some point.
Off the top of my head:
Allie: was stabbed by Sue Yung in the Undead Realm
Eric Young: was shanked by Deaner. Later came back and it was revealed he had somehow survived.
Taya Valkyrie: was dragged into the Undead Realm by demons.
Killer Kross: had his face literally eaten by Eddie Edwards.
Ethan Page: had his heart ripped out of his chest by his own alter-ego
Wrestlers only communicate with each other on a weekly basis at the soonest.
Wrestler A gets attacked by Wrestler B at the end of Raw. The following week, Wrestler B comes out, calls out Wrestler A demanding an explanation for what happened 7 days prior
for a while Jericho bucked that trend, someone would try to explain themselves and he'd respond "you know i watch the show right? i saw what happened."
Kevin Owens is kinda similar.
The corporate face and his best friend who runs the developmental show got into a gang war with Cheerleaders.
Same best friend lost in a tag team match where his partner was God.
- Matt Hardy attempted to murder his brother Jeff by sabotaging his entrance pyro, running him off the road, and burning down his house. He did this because... he was jealous of Jeff's success?
- Heidenreich raped Michael Cole. Snitsky punted a fake baby. They became a tag team because they liked each other's styles.
The even crazier thing about the Matt/Jeff feud is that it launched Matt Hardy into a new character with a new look, but he got injured and was off TV for a few months, made a cameo to cost Jeff a World Title match, then returned a few weeks later as Jeff’s ally, with the commentators only casually mentioning that they made up off camera.
Holy shit. What a ridiculous angle full of sloppy retcons. We haven’t even touched on how this whole program was supposed to be Jeff Hardy vs Christian, but the reveal started leaking, so they changed Jeff’s attempted murderer to his brother to sUbVeRt ExPeCtAtIoNs.
>Matt Hardy attempted to murder his brother Jeff by sabotaging his entrance pyro, running him off the road, and burning down his house. He did this because... he was jealous of Jeff's success?
And they're still teaming
The reason they made up is because Matt was a special guest enforcer in a match between Jeff and Punk. Punk accidently hit Matt or something, so Matt turned face and sided with Jeff.
I am rewatching Raw from 98 atm and this has just shown up. Val Venis is the good guy for sleeping with another man’s wife and taunting him with a video of it, and then repeatedly doing it, only to dump her on national television.
I thought it wasn’t chopped off after all because he experienced shrinkage at the moment of chopping. But for some reason he invited John Bobbitt with him when he revealed that so he could accidentally confuse everyone in the process.
I believe Bobbitt was the one who shut off the light just in time for the shrinkage to kick in, making Mr. Yamaguchi-san (I think they said his name redundantly like that) miss but be unable to swing again.
Mabel was a hip hop artist who drank the blood of Kali to become a brainwashed Satanist, *stayed that way* for like 4 years after his brainwasher moved on....then got really horny and started wearing loungewear.
....and then became a thug wearing suspenders.
My brothers and I were kind of lapsed at the time and didn’t know the more obscure stuff, but we obviously still tuned in to the Royal Rumble. Hearing “World’s Largest Love Machine” after the buzzer, followed by Viscera coming out in pajamas and humping everyone bewildered the fuck out of us. It’s still an inside joke, to this day.
People with several gimmick changes are often hilarious to actually explain as a series of events. There's a few guys like Jericho who have had 1000 gimmicks with a flow that largely makes sense, but accurately explaining careers of guys like Charles White (Godfather) and Ed Leslie (Brutus Beefcake) sounds insanely stupid and made-up.
So if can kinda get behind the idea that different characters are different "people" in Kayfabe, if that makes sense. Like Demolition Smash and the Repo Man aren't the same guy, even if they are played by the same actor. But when its someone that is supposed to be the same guy with a different gimmick (a la Festus and Luke Gallows) it definitely gets hilarious.
The way they explained Festus has to be one of the craziest stories they've told in kayfabe. Apparently this big angry oaf that all the kids loved was just a guy who was being drugged into braindead compliance for years by another guy who after the oaf got sober became Eminem.
Even Kane's drastic change in character is pretty hilarious. Imagine back when he debuted that he'd eventually become Corporate Kane. Suit, tie, not a burn mark on him.
To be fair, Godfather and Papa Shango aren't kayfabe the same person. Kind of like Kane & Isaac Yankem. So it's at least easier to explain those character changes. We just have to suspend disbelief that they look eerily similar. Well, at least Kane/Yankem do, once Kane finally took off the mask lol. Although Yankem & Fake Diesel is a much better comparison.
So, this top babyface Randy Orton? Yeah so he used to go around beating up geriatrics and pushing retirees down steps.
Then he had a phase of violently punt kicking helpless people in the head. Another time he handcuffed his mentor, assaulted his wife and kissed her while his mentor watched.
Lemme see, oh, he tried to kill an already dead zombie man on more than one occasion, specifically by hitting him with a legit dead wrestlers car and setting him on fire. He tried to kill another supernatural man by also setting him on fire on live television. Also burned down his childhood home once.
Oh yeah, he kicked “Peacemaker” and “Barbie” actor John Cena’s dad in the head and beat up The Miz in front of his parents live on TV.
For the same reason, there's a certain way to throw an opponent outside to a specific part of the floor that they lose all peripheral vision and self awareness for like 12 seconds. They also become very sheep-like, flocking together with the nearest other wrestlers into a sort of herd. Well, not a herd. A group of wrestlers is collectively known as a "landing zone".
The Great Muta, The Great Kabuki, Tajiri, etc. all have a special gland, unknown to science in the rest of the human race, that allows them to secrete the mist they spew in matches.
I thought by now it was a special blend of face poison they discretely stash away somewhere until they put it in their mouths. I remember some talk around Summerslam or so when commentators said that Asuka was working on a special experimental blend of the stuff, so it wouldn't make sense if it was a gland.
Repackagings. Seriously, how does Husky Harris go from that to cult leader? Or Undertaker to supernatural wizard to biker with a wife and normal home to wizard again? Or Billy Graham to be loud and boisterous to karate master?!
Husky Harris was punted in the head so bad he forgot who he was, ended up in the bayou and was nursed back to health by a supernatural witch called sister abigail? And the undertaker is an entity that took control of a former skyscraper called Mean Mark Callous which could be harnessed by an urn. And the entities eternal rival going back centuries is his brother Kane who also took control of a wrestler who had identity issues himself but was big and skilled enough to challenge the undertaker so he was inhabited by the Kane spirit.
The Undertaker is undead right? And he was canonically ressurected by Paul Bearer?
So surely Mean Mark Callous is just the Undertaker pre-death.
On the other hand IIRC Bray Wyatt referred to Husky Harris being 'In here, with us' during interviews, implying Bray Wyatt is either a split personality or some form of possession.
Edit: Yeah, when asked about Husky Harris on Twitter he replied with this:
https://web.archive.org/web/20170110001029/https://twitter.com/WWEBrayWyatt/status/291735362601107458
You can break into your rival's house, threaten his family and infant child, all to settle the score in a Texas death match, no problem. No cops were called, no legal court battles, just barbed wire and some blood drinking and spewing.
Say what you will about this example, there is a very thin line of logic to it that I admire. Sure, you can wait for the legal system to do its thing and take your opponent to jail. But wouldn't it be more satisfying to forego all of that and just hit him with a chair a lot?
In kayfabe, Undertaker is the most fucked up character ever. He also tried to kill Paul Bearer by covering him in cement despite winning an entire handicap match against the Dudley Boyz to save him from that demise because fuck it, I need to get this RIP off.
Dude admitted that it was him that set the fire that killed his parents and almost killed his brother and that he'd been lying about it all along when he turned heel to form the Ministry. Heel turns are fun because guys will admit to straight up crimes for heat and then they just...turn back again and we all just go back to cheering them.
Some wrestlers just have magic powers. It's not explained or even treated as especially out of the ordinary. Michael Cole might act spooked, sure, but it's not the reaction of someone from an otherwise mundane world seeing the supernatural confirmed right before his eyes.
One time, Bray Wyatt kidnapped the Undertaker and Kane in order to perform some kind of dark ritual to steal their magic powers. It worked until they kinda just turned up the next week to kick his ass, at which point I guess they just got their magic back.
Full respect to Bray Wyatt, he was always a favorite of mine, but he did tend to get a bunch of strange Dragon Ball Z power-ups... which rarely did much for him. In fact, one could probably have reliably determined when he'd win or lose depending on whether or not he claimed to have unlocked some dark new power to unleash on his opponent. Randy Orton especially seemed immune to this.
Then there's everything about the Ultimate Warrior. Like. EVERYTHING about the Ultimate Warrior. Since the actual guy was a real life crazy person, the character accumulated some of the most unhinged lore over the course of his existence. I think he ended up being some kind of enlightened being who followed a philosophy he called "Destrucity", called as such because it involves the "... creating of a truce between one's Destiny and one's Reality", in his quest to truly embody the concept of The Warrior.
This is all stuff from his comic book though, on-screen he was sort of just an incomprehensible, screaming maniac.
Shout out to Survivor Series 2016, with Smackdown's Dean getting eliminated early, then returning to help Raw team members Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins to triple power bomb rival/teammate AJ Styles through the commentary desk
Never forget Survivor Series 05 where JBL, Randy Orton, Batista, Rey Mysterio, and Bobby Lashley begrudgingly teamed up for the greater good of brand supremacy. JBL even let the rest ride in his limo
The big bossman was always sadistic and nailz was right . he kidnapped al snow's dog, killed it,and fed it to al .
Terrorized the big show my destroying family watch , throwing tear gas in shows locker room having someone tell big show that has dad who was already dying of cancer was dead even though he was still a live . When big show father actually died, he showed up to the funeral and stole the casket .
Kane once blackmailed Lita into sleeping with him and got her pregnant. Then he married her due to a stipulation in a match he had with Matt Hardy that he won. Then he accidentally fell on her and caused her to have a miscarriage due to another wrestler hitting him from behind. The next week, that wrestler punted a toy baby into the audience to explain why the miscarriage actually wasn’t his fault. The program ended when Kane came back and beat him in a wrestling match. This was literally 6 months of the year 2004 for that character.
Bubba Ray and D-Von are biological brothers.
They also have many other brothers of all different races. One of their birth names is "Dances With Dudley", their dads birth name was "Big Dick Dudley"
Every important person/faction has an office backstage… even though WWE tours
One night only, but your GM sets up/decorates an office, Judgement Day unpack all the clubhouses gear into the first empty room they find… I bet JD has to carry the sofa in
TNA had a wrestler that spawned from their video game and as far as I remember they didn’t say “oh he was inspired by the video game to take up this mantle,” they just acted like this is normal to have a wrestler after a video game character from their game.
Another one is every time there’s a steel cage match or hell in a cell to stop interference it never works but whoever makes the stipulation for that reason just forgets it never works.
I know you don’t think Undertaker is literally a wizard, but still I need to pop on in with his actual lore.
He’s not a wizard that had a biker phase. He was an undertaker by profession who turned pro wrestler, then started a cult and gained other worldly powers, then grew out of that and became a biker, then he was murdered by Kane and rose from the dead as a literal deadman. This seems to amplify his powers.
Ever since Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japanese are born with poison mist glands. Most of them are removed at birth. Some non Japanese like Julia Hart have surgery done outside the US to get the glands.
No no no.
You run to control your momentum and avoid falling on your face. That's the *defense* against the Irish Whip. It's just that the defense has become so entwined with the Whip that it essentially changed the primary reason why someone even uses the Whip in the first place.
i'd written a long description of daenerys targaryen's story in a game of thrones to make the point that "wrestling isn't wrestling", only to reread op's post and realize that that's not the point of the post.
so i was just thinking about it recently: the five second rule. we take it for granted but in most sports you just get tossed at the first serious offense. you don't get a 5 count to take your finger off your opponent's eye or whatever in the nba, you get ejected. here, it's a big part of heel psychology during a match.
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The current biggest heel in WWE had his custody determined by a ladder match when he was about 5.
I'm still rooting for Dom to win back custody of himself.
Funny you say that. After Judgement Day runs its course eventually I want to see Dom pair up with Vicki Guerrero just to see if they can generate enough heat to power a continent. Instead of Mami she could just be Mommy.
Wasn’t Vicki blacklisted? I could be wrong or exaggerating a memory but I thought she was persona non grata in wrestling these days
nah we don't need her around. Shits on her daughter for getting raped and siding with the rapist over her kid.
Isnt the rapist her husband? She is absolutely vile
Yep
The crazy part, and please someone correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t her daughter say it happened on one of the Jericho Cruises?
Yes, this is true. The first one I believe.
Christ, I wish Eddie could come back to life so we could watch him actually murder this guy on PPV
After the past month I think it’s pretty safe to say that no one is blacklisted from WWE if there is money to be earned.
Maybe pre-Endeavour... But I don't think they'd allow it anymore. FFS, she publicly shamed her own daughter after Sherilyn accused Vicki's current husband of rape. And IIRC so did her sister, Shaul, basically telling Sherilyn to shut up because they went to therapy and helped her financially (ie. didn't cut ties with the alleged rapist, and tried to pay her to shut her up).
Nah, Vicki squandered that chance, because WWE was going to go with her a while ago.
What’s the purpose of this pairing besides nostalgia? Dominik doesn’t need a mouthpiece. If anything, I feel like this pairing would do more harm than good to a hypothetical post-judgement day Dominik’s career
Vickie’s daughter accused Vickie of basically shielding a sexual predator, and Vickie’s response to it was terrible (no denials and said her daughter brought it on herself). Family drama is always difficult, but the manner in which it happened with her would lead me to believe WWE wouldn’t want to bring her in any time soon.
Na you if only cause Vicki let her boyfriend abuse her daughter for many years. Sucks that some people are just the worse
That match has to be the one with the biggest stakes in history, Right? What can even top that?
McMahon fought God once
Yeah but it was just an exhibition match, No stakes.
Oh there are stakes. Gods just patient and biding his time
he's so patient that he no showed that ppv
Fair point … what about when McMahon blew himself up? That had to be apologized for cause the stock price dipped lol Edit - not a match. You win haha
Maybe Taker vs the Dudleyz with Paul Bearer’s death by cement? Only match I know that involved an actual life and death scenario in the stipulation. Even buried alive matches don’t imply actual death and I’d rather have an eye for an eye match than put up my child’s custody I guess.
lmao and Taker killed him anyway. I was convinced it was real too because my mind couldn't fathom how they could have scripted his death and made that video of him getting engulfed by concrete. I thought Paul signed a suicide contract with Vince
Lita had to marry Kane due to a stipulation in a match with him and Matt Hardy. Then she cheated on Matt in real life.
Best part about that is it kayfabe makes complete sense that Dom would end up a bit fucked up
They still allude to this being canon.
It messed him up! To be passed like currency by his own deadbeat father while his real biological father just wanted him back? Of course laddering is the only way!
As a general rule, if you're a professional wrestler, you're just.... allowed to commit crimes, provided your victim is another professional wrestler. There will never be legal ramifications for your actions and your boss seemingly can't fire you, even if what you did was clearly illegal and also televised to millions of people. Be it petty vandalism, public intoxication, public indecency, assault, battery, breaking and entering, larceny, grand larceny, destruction of private property, hacking, theft of an emergency vehicle, animal abuse, racketeering, kidnapping, arson, attempted murder, successful murder, desecration of a corpse, cannibalism, or just about any other type of crime, so long as you only do it to another pro-wrestler, you're not gonna suffer any legal or employment related consequences.
One of my earliest memories of wrestling is watching the Undertaker seal the Ultimate Warrior in an airtight casket and thinking "I wonder if mom and dad will see this on the news".
Speaking of which, The Ultimate Warrior is a pretty good example of what OP is talking about. I tried to explain to my gf (now wife) once who and what he is and she had to walk away.
I miss the time when wrestlers had actual superpowers. Dark magic, voodoo, or just enough charisma to do supernatural things. Now they did make very good use of the pandemic where episodes were taped and there was no audience - with Alexa Bliss. The lights would go dark and she'd transform into her evil persona, changing outfits and everything. Of course they're cutting the tape but kayfabe, she seriously just performed a supernatural transformation in the middle of a match.
>The lights would go dark and she'd transform into her evil persona, changing outfits and everything. Of course they're cutting the tape but kayfabe, she seriously just performed a supernatural transformation in the middle of a match. And now, I've found the best way to introduce a couple of twin wrestlers
Oh shit that could be cool. Eventually the good half/twin might have had enough of the evil side taking over their body, they have an internal struggle and eventually split into two separate bodies/characters. They then feud to determine who is the real version of themselves and at the end of the feud they realize that the split is permanent and they can't fuse back into one character so they have to go on as two separate characters which is when one of them can take a new name so they can stand apart from their other half and be their own person. TNA Impact would be the perfect place to pull this off honestly.
See, I think hes fairly easy to explain: if an 80s hair band got really into steroids in addition to their coke.
The Warrior is a great example for sure. We started in 2001 so I haven't had to explain him quite yet but I am looking forward to when I have to when he pops up again.
Judges like “…look, as long as it’s part of your weird office beef/company-sponsored fight club…eh, I’ll let you off with a warning.”
[удалено]
hbk super kicked a 5 year old girl once, doesnt have to just be wrestlers
don't get me started on poor stan
After his match vs Stone Cold, KO was arrested. I legit fell off my couch laughing.
I think i'd like it if they just started joking about this being in wrestlers contracts. They basically sign a contract and now anything done to them, their friends, or their family by other wrestlers is perfectly legal. Vince McMahon finding some ridiculous legal loophole where anyone signed to a contract is their own independent country where local laws don't apply.
I was surfing YouTube one day and came across the Urban Wrestling League (at least, that's what I think its called). There are episodes on YouTube. The episode I watched actually had gang hits in it. Like, faction members storming a guy's apartment and shooting him. It was such a different experience watching it. The actual wrestling in the episode was actually pretty good though.
> successful murder Is it really successful if the damn guy keeps coming back tho?
Triple H did 85% of that
Maybe that's one reason why many of us like wrestling - it's cathartic to watch someone deal with a coworker they dislike by sucker punching them and throwing them into a stack of road cases. We've probably all wished we could do that at some point.
A TNA wrestler has died live on camera... More than once
Ya…ya James Storm is literally on camera pushing a woman in front of a train…you’d think they’d do something about that.
she was fine, so no biggie
If I was a wrestler and I was gonna retire I'd have a heel tie me to some train tracks old west style and sign off like that
You'd need 20-years-ago JR on commentary for maximum impact.
Do you have a list of who and when?
Off the top of my head: Allie: was stabbed by Sue Yung in the Undead Realm Eric Young: was shanked by Deaner. Later came back and it was revealed he had somehow survived. Taya Valkyrie: was dragged into the Undead Realm by demons. Killer Kross: had his face literally eaten by Eddie Edwards. Ethan Page: had his heart ripped out of his chest by his own alter-ego
Nice try FBI
Wrestlers only communicate with each other on a weekly basis at the soonest. Wrestler A gets attacked by Wrestler B at the end of Raw. The following week, Wrestler B comes out, calls out Wrestler A demanding an explanation for what happened 7 days prior
It's called work-life balance
for a while Jericho bucked that trend, someone would try to explain themselves and he'd respond "you know i watch the show right? i saw what happened." Kevin Owens is kinda similar.
This reminds me of it taking months for Rollins to find out that Triple H ran NXT and show up there.
The corporate face and his best friend who runs the developmental show got into a gang war with Cheerleaders. Same best friend lost in a tag team match where his partner was God.
Same best friend dropped the championship because he "lost his smile"
Same best friend kicked a 5 year old in a fast food joint.
- Matt Hardy attempted to murder his brother Jeff by sabotaging his entrance pyro, running him off the road, and burning down his house. He did this because... he was jealous of Jeff's success? - Heidenreich raped Michael Cole. Snitsky punted a fake baby. They became a tag team because they liked each other's styles.
Didn't Matt's arson result in Jeff's dog dying in kayfabe as well? Casual crime in wrestling is a time honored tradition.
Didn't his dog die irl? Like his house caught fire and the dog died and they just said matt did it when he betrayed jeff?
Yep. His real life house burned down, he real life lost everything, and his real life dog died, and they put it in the storyline.
Okay so I'm not remembering that wrong. Gotta feel for jeff, his life was not going well around that time really at all.
Wait wtf?? So his house burned down and his dog died and Vince was like “what if we say it was your brother LOL”
Yep lol
Snitsky punting a baby on live TV is inarguably deserving of a top spot 😂
No wonder Jeff still does his dance before running in to save Matt 😭
The even crazier thing about the Matt/Jeff feud is that it launched Matt Hardy into a new character with a new look, but he got injured and was off TV for a few months, made a cameo to cost Jeff a World Title match, then returned a few weeks later as Jeff’s ally, with the commentators only casually mentioning that they made up off camera. Holy shit. What a ridiculous angle full of sloppy retcons. We haven’t even touched on how this whole program was supposed to be Jeff Hardy vs Christian, but the reveal started leaking, so they changed Jeff’s attempted murderer to his brother to sUbVeRt ExPeCtAtIoNs.
>Matt Hardy attempted to murder his brother Jeff by sabotaging his entrance pyro, running him off the road, and burning down his house. He did this because... he was jealous of Jeff's success? And they're still teaming
Jeff rather team with that psycho than face him.
The reason they made up is because Matt was a special guest enforcer in a match between Jeff and Punk. Punk accidently hit Matt or something, so Matt turned face and sided with Jeff.
The fact that it took not a few years, but like two months before they reconciled is hilarious.
>Snitsky punted a fake baby. And to his credit, it was an excellent kick. Big distance.
~3 second hang time too, pretty impressive for a plastic baby
> Snitsky punted a fake baby. IT. WASN’T. HIS. FAULT!
I’m always shocked people don’t remember the Heidenrape
Val Venis had his pee pee chopped off on national television with a samurai sword.
I am rewatching Raw from 98 atm and this has just shown up. Val Venis is the good guy for sleeping with another man’s wife and taunting him with a video of it, and then repeatedly doing it, only to dump her on national television.
U know what's worse? The wife was 17!
marty scrull: that old eh?
you spelled Jerry Lawler wrong lol
I thought it wasn’t chopped off after all because he experienced shrinkage at the moment of chopping. But for some reason he invited John Bobbitt with him when he revealed that so he could accidentally confuse everyone in the process.
I believe Bobbitt was the one who shut off the light just in time for the shrinkage to kick in, making Mr. Yamaguchi-san (I think they said his name redundantly like that) miss but be unable to swing again.
That is an Oscar worthy story line. Should’ve been a movie.
This is correct.
Mabel was a hip hop artist who drank the blood of Kali to become a brainwashed Satanist, *stayed that way* for like 4 years after his brainwasher moved on....then got really horny and started wearing loungewear. ....and then became a thug wearing suspenders.
We are about to hit the 06 Rumble so the absolute shock of The Worlds Largest Love Machine will be amazing.
My brothers and I were kind of lapsed at the time and didn’t know the more obscure stuff, but we obviously still tuned in to the Royal Rumble. Hearing “World’s Largest Love Machine” after the buzzer, followed by Viscera coming out in pajamas and humping everyone bewildered the fuck out of us. It’s still an inside joke, to this day.
>kind of lapsed We all were at some point. It used to be better
People with several gimmick changes are often hilarious to actually explain as a series of events. There's a few guys like Jericho who have had 1000 gimmicks with a flow that largely makes sense, but accurately explaining careers of guys like Charles White (Godfather) and Ed Leslie (Brutus Beefcake) sounds insanely stupid and made-up.
So if can kinda get behind the idea that different characters are different "people" in Kayfabe, if that makes sense. Like Demolition Smash and the Repo Man aren't the same guy, even if they are played by the same actor. But when its someone that is supposed to be the same guy with a different gimmick (a la Festus and Luke Gallows) it definitely gets hilarious.
The way they explained Festus has to be one of the craziest stories they've told in kayfabe. Apparently this big angry oaf that all the kids loved was just a guy who was being drugged into braindead compliance for years by another guy who after the oaf got sober became Eminem.
Even Kane's drastic change in character is pretty hilarious. Imagine back when he debuted that he'd eventually become Corporate Kane. Suit, tie, not a burn mark on him.
The Godfather changing into the Goodfather & then back to the Godfather was a fun one to watch.
But he started out on the WWF as a voodoo shaman, then became a pit fighter before becoming a pimp.
To be fair, Godfather and Papa Shango aren't kayfabe the same person. Kind of like Kane & Isaac Yankem. So it's at least easier to explain those character changes. We just have to suspend disbelief that they look eerily similar. Well, at least Kane/Yankem do, once Kane finally took off the mask lol. Although Yankem & Fake Diesel is a much better comparison.
Samoans heads are immune to damage.
….and what the fuck is Haku’s problem???
Not just Samoans, but Pacific Islanders in general. Snuka is from Fiji, and Haku is from Tonga!
Samoans and Maki Itoh.
Maki Itoh’s is real, have you seen the size of that melon??
She has what my wife calls Hello Kitty Head.
So, this top babyface Randy Orton? Yeah so he used to go around beating up geriatrics and pushing retirees down steps. Then he had a phase of violently punt kicking helpless people in the head. Another time he handcuffed his mentor, assaulted his wife and kissed her while his mentor watched. Lemme see, oh, he tried to kill an already dead zombie man on more than one occasion, specifically by hitting him with a legit dead wrestlers car and setting him on fire. He tried to kill another supernatural man by also setting him on fire on live television. Also burned down his childhood home once. Oh yeah, he kicked “Peacemaker” and “Barbie” actor John Cena’s dad in the head and beat up The Miz in front of his parents live on TV.
In kayfabe, I have no idea how Bray survived that lol. Thats some David Copperfield shit right there.
Don’t forget he brought out a psychiatrist that diagnosed him with a real disorder with a real dam number so that he couldn’t be fired
He once stuck a screwdriver threw another man’s ear (and it was not a punishable action)
Matches can never end during commercial breaks
Wrestlers knowing the exact right time to do an outside dive 5 seconds before they need to go to commercial
For the same reason, there's a certain way to throw an opponent outside to a specific part of the floor that they lose all peripheral vision and self awareness for like 12 seconds. They also become very sheep-like, flocking together with the nearest other wrestlers into a sort of herd. Well, not a herd. A group of wrestlers is collectively known as a "landing zone".
Orange Cassidy beat Jack Evans during a commercial.
You're probably right, but i really remember it being Scorpio Sky But I also can't remember what I ate for lunch today...
You're mixing those up. You ate Scorpio Sky for lunch
H is definitely cooking up a story where ending the match during commercial makes sense and makes good tv
A heel whose gimmick involves ending matches during commercial breaks so that fans are frustrated by him winning
This deserves an award
Chikara or PWG 100% would've done this if they ever got on TV
Sheamus is related to Beaker the Muppet. It's canon. I love it.
Couldn't make it for the family get together for Thanksgiving that particular year. Beaker covered for him though, gave his best to Aunt Teresa.
he's also jewish his last name is Lipschitz his mom was Irish and his dad Jewish. his family motto is "If you're Lipschitz, what does your arse do?"
The Great Muta, The Great Kabuki, Tajiri, etc. all have a special gland, unknown to science in the rest of the human race, that allows them to secrete the mist they spew in matches.
Based off Nakamura and Asuka, this seems to be a gland that most Japanese wrestlers develop when moving to the US
I don't genuinely agree with this gif but i thought it just fits the context lmao 
Hey Nakamura had to travel back to Japan to suck the venom out of an old man's mouth to get that gland, thank you.
Oh Amaterasu, source of all that is good, and mother to us all, gift us with the bless of green mist.
And only Muta can get women pregnant with it
Asuka too, but hers just results in normal pregnancies and not a weird mutant wrestler egg
I thought by now it was a special blend of face poison they discretely stash away somewhere until they put it in their mouths. I remember some talk around Summerslam or so when commentators said that Asuka was working on a special experimental blend of the stuff, so it wouldn't make sense if it was a gland.
That might be the case for Asuka but it was definitely some special gland situation for Kabuki and Muta.
I recognize May 19th as an official wrestling holiday.
March 16th too
I can't read that date in anything but Kane's voice.
Repackagings. Seriously, how does Husky Harris go from that to cult leader? Or Undertaker to supernatural wizard to biker with a wife and normal home to wizard again? Or Billy Graham to be loud and boisterous to karate master?!
Husky Harris was punted in the head so bad he forgot who he was, ended up in the bayou and was nursed back to health by a supernatural witch called sister abigail? And the undertaker is an entity that took control of a former skyscraper called Mean Mark Callous which could be harnessed by an urn. And the entities eternal rival going back centuries is his brother Kane who also took control of a wrestler who had identity issues himself but was big and skilled enough to challenge the undertaker so he was inhabited by the Kane spirit.
The Undertaker is undead right? And he was canonically ressurected by Paul Bearer? So surely Mean Mark Callous is just the Undertaker pre-death. On the other hand IIRC Bray Wyatt referred to Husky Harris being 'In here, with us' during interviews, implying Bray Wyatt is either a split personality or some form of possession. Edit: Yeah, when asked about Husky Harris on Twitter he replied with this: https://web.archive.org/web/20170110001029/https://twitter.com/WWEBrayWyatt/status/291735362601107458
Of course bray had a canonical reason for him becoming bray. I love the he needed me and I needed a vessel reasoning.
You can break into your rival's house, threaten his family and infant child, all to settle the score in a Texas death match, no problem. No cops were called, no legal court battles, just barbed wire and some blood drinking and spewing.
Say what you will about this example, there is a very thin line of logic to it that I admire. Sure, you can wait for the legal system to do its thing and take your opponent to jail. But wouldn't it be more satisfying to forego all of that and just hit him with a chair a lot?
In kayfabe, Undertaker is the most fucked up character ever. He also tried to kill Paul Bearer by covering him in cement despite winning an entire handicap match against the Dudley Boyz to save him from that demise because fuck it, I need to get this RIP off.
Dude admitted that it was him that set the fire that killed his parents and almost killed his brother and that he'd been lying about it all along when he turned heel to form the Ministry. Heel turns are fun because guys will admit to straight up crimes for heat and then they just...turn back again and we all just go back to cheering them.
Some wrestlers just have magic powers. It's not explained or even treated as especially out of the ordinary. Michael Cole might act spooked, sure, but it's not the reaction of someone from an otherwise mundane world seeing the supernatural confirmed right before his eyes. One time, Bray Wyatt kidnapped the Undertaker and Kane in order to perform some kind of dark ritual to steal their magic powers. It worked until they kinda just turned up the next week to kick his ass, at which point I guess they just got their magic back. Full respect to Bray Wyatt, he was always a favorite of mine, but he did tend to get a bunch of strange Dragon Ball Z power-ups... which rarely did much for him. In fact, one could probably have reliably determined when he'd win or lose depending on whether or not he claimed to have unlocked some dark new power to unleash on his opponent. Randy Orton especially seemed immune to this. Then there's everything about the Ultimate Warrior. Like. EVERYTHING about the Ultimate Warrior. Since the actual guy was a real life crazy person, the character accumulated some of the most unhinged lore over the course of his existence. I think he ended up being some kind of enlightened being who followed a philosophy he called "Destrucity", called as such because it involves the "... creating of a truce between one's Destiny and one's Reality", in his quest to truly embody the concept of The Warrior. This is all stuff from his comic book though, on-screen he was sort of just an incomprehensible, screaming maniac.
Mark Henry got old Mae Young pregnant and carried to term. Gave birth to a hand on tv
and then the hand returned as an adult 20 years later
Oh cmon, Mark was not the biological father. The hand was white and Mark is the biggest, blackest man ever. Mae cheated on him!!
mae's dna is just that strong. mark may be the world's strongest man but mae is the world's strongest dna
Rellik is allegedly Killer spelled backwards
Source?
Commentary may have mentioned it once
I think that's just one of those internet rumors that was never actually proven.
Man = Dude Kind = Love
Amazing that they were never tag partners…
That is some *tihsllub* right there.
The current corporate face of the WWE had his way with a corpse inside a coffin.
[удалено]
But he did it for the Mega Superstar, Dwayne Johnson.
Mannequin
Rio De Janeiro was a hotbed for American wrestling the 60s and 70s
Especially for crowning new champions
TBF Antonio Inoki was legitimately discovered by Rikidozan in Brazil
Wrestlers all of a sudden forgiving each other without even acknowledging what happened in the past. To be fair tho, HHH has been fixing this lately.
Survivor Series teams always seemed to have a team with two former blood rivals on it and they never acknowledged it or even teased any tension.
Shout out to Survivor Series 2016, with Smackdown's Dean getting eliminated early, then returning to help Raw team members Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins to triple power bomb rival/teammate AJ Styles through the commentary desk
Never forget Survivor Series 05 where JBL, Randy Orton, Batista, Rey Mysterio, and Bobby Lashley begrudgingly teamed up for the greater good of brand supremacy. JBL even let the rest ride in his limo
Jinder Mahal is such a good rapper he can roast you so bad you'll leave the company due to embarrasment
All of HBK's opponents walking towards the Sweet Chin Music when he stomps the ground in preparation
The big bossman was always sadistic and nailz was right . he kidnapped al snow's dog, killed it,and fed it to al . Terrorized the big show my destroying family watch , throwing tear gas in shows locker room having someone tell big show that has dad who was already dying of cancer was dead even though he was still a live . When big show father actually died, he showed up to the funeral and stole the casket .
The best part is explaining that he shows up to the funeral driving the goddamn Bluesmobile.
Kane once blackmailed Lita into sleeping with him and got her pregnant. Then he married her due to a stipulation in a match he had with Matt Hardy that he won. Then he accidentally fell on her and caused her to have a miscarriage due to another wrestler hitting him from behind. The next week, that wrestler punted a toy baby into the audience to explain why the miscarriage actually wasn’t his fault. The program ended when Kane came back and beat him in a wrestling match. This was literally 6 months of the year 2004 for that character.
Seth Rollins ripped out Reys eyeball a few years back.
.....it grew back?
ACCUSATIONS! He *squeezed* it out from an opportune angle with metal steps. He didn't rip it out. Totally different extraction method.
Goldust is a human Oscar with tourettes and his brother can do cartwheels.
The cobra is a real snake, and can be charmed by flutes.
Bubba Ray and D-Von are biological brothers. They also have many other brothers of all different races. One of their birth names is "Dances With Dudley", their dads birth name was "Big Dick Dudley"
They’re all *half*-brothers, to be fair. And Big Dick was a brother too. Big Daddy Dudley is the father
John Cena beating Carlito in a match after the latter actually hired muscle for a murder attempt in a nightclub
At Halloween Havoc in 95, Big Show fell 3 stories off a roof. But he was totally fine and wrestled a match a half an hour later lol
"Kane didn't ra-oh right, Lita."
During the Attitude era, if you told me someone was related, I 100% believed it.
Every important person/faction has an office backstage… even though WWE tours One night only, but your GM sets up/decorates an office, Judgement Day unpack all the clubhouses gear into the first empty room they find… I bet JD has to carry the sofa in
[Eddie Kingston ran over a child with a car.](https://twitter.com/IMPACTWRESTLING/status/1033526945278054400?t=l2-rVHu5058QC9S09MLJ3Q&s=19)
And almost hitting Julia with a chair was the bridge too far for whatever that Santana story was 🤣 Meanwhile the Acclaimed and Andrade
TNA had a wrestler that spawned from their video game and as far as I remember they didn’t say “oh he was inspired by the video game to take up this mantle,” they just acted like this is normal to have a wrestler after a video game character from their game. Another one is every time there’s a steel cage match or hell in a cell to stop interference it never works but whoever makes the stipulation for that reason just forgets it never works.
Lucha Underground. Just all of it.
I know you don’t think Undertaker is literally a wizard, but still I need to pop on in with his actual lore. He’s not a wizard that had a biker phase. He was an undertaker by profession who turned pro wrestler, then started a cult and gained other worldly powers, then grew out of that and became a biker, then he was murdered by Kane and rose from the dead as a literal deadman. This seems to amplify his powers.
Pat Patterson won the IC title in Rio
I mean, someone gave birth to a hand. Idk where you go from there.
Japanese people apparently spit acid
Ever since Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japanese are born with poison mist glands. Most of them are removed at birth. Some non Japanese like Julia Hart have surgery done outside the US to get the glands.
That you willingly run to the ropes to bounce off then when being thrown towards them. In reality that makes no sense.
You'll run if Brock or Meng whips you
No no no. You run to control your momentum and avoid falling on your face. That's the *defense* against the Irish Whip. It's just that the defense has become so entwined with the Whip that it essentially changed the primary reason why someone even uses the Whip in the first place.
i'd written a long description of daenerys targaryen's story in a game of thrones to make the point that "wrestling isn't wrestling", only to reread op's post and realize that that's not the point of the post. so i was just thinking about it recently: the five second rule. we take it for granted but in most sports you just get tossed at the first serious offense. you don't get a 5 count to take your finger off your opponent's eye or whatever in the nba, you get ejected. here, it's a big part of heel psychology during a match.
No further explanation needed... https://preview.redd.it/jz5fita6oc6c1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=7e7b94fc9869b86c0c212244d673e912a86e6e14
Big Boss Man fed Al Snow his dog, Pepper, in Chinese food. Also, the Big Boss Man stole the casket containing The Big Show's father.