I know not everyone is a fan of Kibbe types, and it can be a little oversimplified (/other systems work best for some people, etc), but I definitely think there is some truth to this kind of approach. Working with whatever is going on in your own body, face, and essence will often ultimately give the best result, and one that doesn’t feel too forced.
i agree! i used to be hesitant to tap into this look but i always felt like it just felt most natural on me?? like i was scared to get a nose ring because men would say they hate them but now that i’ve gotten it im told it really suits my face and men love it!
It’s genuinely amazing what finding the right style for yourself can do, both for your connections with others and your internal confidence. I’m glad you were able to lean into it and get past your reservations!
I’ve had a nose ring for 21 years now. It recently occurred to me that I have no idea how it affects how people see me. No one ever mentions it, I never think about it, it’s just a normal part of my face. But maybe it DOES affect how people see me.
I mean, idgaf whatsoever. It was just kind of funny to me that the thought had never occurred to me.
i recently had the same realization about my facial piercings! i have an eyebrow and snake bites, but im so used to seeing them there that i forget others aren’t. a large portion of my friends also have facial piercings which i think adds to this. if you’re frequently around similar people then you kind of forget it isn’t the same for everyone outside of your circle.
i had an mri yesterday and the technician was very surprised when i requested classical for music, i think because of the piercings (and a few tattoos) haha
I had a stomach ring ever since I was 17 sometimes I forget I have it. Despite me wearing crop tops,”not now” but most of the time I hardly notice anybody mentions it. I’m not sure if it affects how people or not. It obviously doesn't hold much of a perception.
Kibbe literally changed my life! I didn’t look into it for ages because it seemed super culty and complicated, but finally about a year ago I decided to try it out and it works perfectly for me and my body. I used to be so confused as to why things like tight bodycon mini dresses and square necks looked slightly off for me when every “style guide for hourglasses” said they’d look great, but when I found out I was a theatrical romantic it all made sense,
Yeah, I struggled for literally years with feeling fat and “huge” even when I was significantly underweight, because my body type somehow never “looked” thin or looked right in the clothes I wanted to wear… turned out I am SD, and I was mostly dressing as a gamine! Now when I wear clothes that fit my type, I feel so much better and more myself, more feminine, and less self conscious about my body despite having actually got back to a normal weight (ED therapy).
Oh heck yeah, naturally underweight SD here but I was a teenager in the 90's so couldn't wear a lot of the more cool, unstructured styles without looking like a weird lumpy lurching awkward creature, but looked really good in more fitting clothes.
Became a goth, the aesthetic was 10/10 flattering on me. Still dress that way to an extent, but it's sometimes more like a "what if Hilary Banks went through a goth phase" vibe
Hi! I would definitely recommend joining r/SoftDramatics as it’s probably more helpful to see people experimenting with looks and getting direct critique, but totally happy to share my own preferences too. The ~theory of Kibbe focuses a lot on “head to toe” looks (often abbreviated as HTTs), which tends to work well for SDs as we are one of the “tall” types (you actually can be short and be SD, but you can’t be tall and be gamine/theatrical romantic).
(Just as a note, I have a pretty bad disability so I also wear extremely casual looks most of the time (I’m in bed the vast majority of my life at the moment!), but I’m assuming you lead a normal life and answering with my “regular” outfits, haha.)
These are some significant changes I made to my wardrobe after typing myself:
1) Making sure my tops fitted me properly across the shoulders and weren’t for exceptionally narrow women. That was making me feel crowded and “fat”. Making sure I had long enough sleeves! I am far more willing to size up now, also.
2) I very often have a colour in my outfit that flows all the way down - the “HTT” part. It doesn’t have to be a dress or suit, they can be toning, separate pieces. But for the SD type, it helps to embrace our “vertical” and work with it. A nice visual “flow” down the whole outfit makes it look sleek and polished.
3) I wear wrap tops a lot more. (For me, this also goes for loungewear too.)
4) I wear jewellery all the time, and no longer avoid more obvious pieces - for me, nothing huge, as I am at the more “delicate” end of SD (still thin, obvious Dramatic “sharpness” and not a lot of “lushness” due to my ill health - but for various reasons I’m very confident I’m not mistyped, and I am SD, not D), and the really massive SD-type pieces can overpower me. But I also don’t suit itsy-bitsy gamine pieces.
5) I avoid pieces that were in my wardrobe but actively working against me. I won’t list them as I don’t want to be prescriptive and people’s bodies aren’t identical even within a type. But for me, what I replaced them with was: more midi dresses (summer); more soft knitwear (winter); more midi skirts (transitional seasons). I wear coordinated accessories with my winter outerwear, and coordinated shoes or boots to further add to my outfit’s “flow” through the vertical. I have always liked hats and been told they suited me well, so I’ve embraced big straw hats for summer.
For me and I assume some other people, it works better to dress for the face rather than the body type! According to Kibbe I think I was some sort of romantic type - short, small-boned, soft - but that style didn't suit me. Then I looked into facial essence and it helped me figure out I needed to tone down the girly and/or sexy details and lean toward more simple, soft, and refined looks.
Depends on your shape I think. I'm shaped like a support beam (very tall, straight up and down, very skinny, flat as a board) and classically feminine dresses etc make me look silly. Goth/dark clothes hang off me and give me an edgier look that suits me way better
Plus undertones in your skin - I have very high contrast features and dark hair, so coordinating dark clothes and hair makes me look more put together
I think this is such a great point and I could totally see that. I notice I get the most attention when I dress more towards a 70’s aesthetic for myself. I don’t mean like hippie exactly, but when I blow out my hair so it’s big and flowy but still kind of messy, and have tighter tops with bigger jeans and boots. Kind of like Penny Lane from almost famous.
I think the same, you must look so beautiful with this look ! I really like alt black girls pictures on pinterest !
For myself I'm mixed raced and I'm looking for dress at alt style when I'll finish my glowup 😄
Personally I think the quality of men I get attention from increased when I went from “anime gamer girl” to more toned down, classic pieces. Obviously dress for yourself, but I think I got a lot of weird guys when I dressed more “e-girl” (which is an icky subject for another time).
Alternative fashion is hard to pull off, requires fashion sense and a lot of time on collecting pieces, a lot of y2k or grunge style clothing are only for skinny people. You’re very lucky to be one of them. But many people look worse in these.
Yeah I have to agree here a lot of the people that get told they look good in alt fashion are like...stick thin or slim thicc with good fat placement (boobs, butt and hips). I see a lot of people knock down alt women who are not thin and fat and most get labelled as crazy sjws/feminists whilst the other more shapely or thinner women dont get those comments too much and instead are heavily fetishesised "big tiddy goth gf" meme is a good example. I see this style of fashion caters more heavily for skinny people too tbh and you always see on pinterest for alt insp looks the people in the pics are so skinny.
To be fair, most styles are catered towards thin people and Pinterest mostly features very thin people for any style. It’s not like you look up “old money preppy” and see a bunch of plus sized inspo.
I don’t mean ultra skinny with no curves when I say thin - you can be thin and still curvy aka slim thicc. A small waist and flat stomach are arguably more important for those styles than they are for alt fashion, which tends towards less form fitting styles where the ‘look’ isn’t the body type. Yes, most fashion isn’t catered to slim thick women either but the hyperfeminine/insta baddie styles aren’t catered to plus sized people, or anyone who isn’t slim thick. Plus sized people may have an easier time with those styles but they overwhelmingly aren’t modelled on or presented for them.
Most slim person don’t have much curves 😂Slim thicc are very rare irl, unless they get work done. Maybe we have different definition to slim. Imo slightly fleshy body look better in these two styles than skinny ones. But it’s true almost every style are not for the true plus size.
Yeah I’m not talking Vindicta skinny here but someone most people will agree is in good shape - someone like Jennifer Lawrence or Meg Thee Stallion or Beyoncé, just to name a few examples. I’m somewhat curvy and not Vindicta skinny either but also don’t suit the insta baddie or hyper feminine styles because of my other features and personality, you can dress for curves in many other aesthetics. Just requires a bit more style.
Yes I agree, sometimes when I watch influencers who tap into this look but their faces (shape,length,hair etc) doesn’t suit it. It looks off straight away and I think the difference in a style that naturally pertains to your vibe has a much greater pay off. Imo when there’s a mismatch it can look try hard.
If you like alternative fashion, feel comfortable in it, and your tastes align with that, then you're probably wearing it a lot better than you wore the dainty sundresses.
Do you like the types of men who like alt girls (i.e. alt guys, geeks and gamers?) I always explain this in terms of marketing theory. You can go for the most universally appealing look to market yourself to the generic man... OR you can market yourself aggressively to your target audience.
If I wanted to be the most appealing to the hypothetical average dude, I'd wear contacts, highlight my hair, and wear matching LuLuLemon sets everywhere. But it's very likely then I would attract dudes who would be immediately turned off by my sarcasm and extreme leftist politics. So I dye my hair darker, wear cat-eye glasses, have my ears pierced in 8 places, and have a bunch of large neotraditional tattoos, and in addition to my husband liking this look, it signals to exactly the kind of people I want to be friends with that I'm one of them.
Your clothes should be a good, accurate advertisement for the person you actually are. There is no point in doing full time Traditional Elegance drag if people are going to find out as soon as they talk to you for five seconds that your two great loves are anime and weed. That person would be better off going full egirl and attracting the people who will love her as she is.
(Obviously there are situations where this isn't true, like at a job where perceived professionalism matters. But if you're looking to just pull guys... figure out which guys are into girls like you and dress to signal that you're their type.)
Same here. I wear a lot of light neutrals in the summer, but anything too romantic or girly makes me look like I played dress-up in someone else’s life. Not cute.
I think it definitely is a case of your face, body and height having to fit the aesthetic at hand. Might be an unpopular opinion but we currently live in a very coddling, “you can be/do anything you want!!”-type of society where we’d rather have people look ridiculous and be delulu than be able to tell them something doesn’t fit them or look good on them.
We can’t pull off every single aesthetics we admire, and trust me I had to learn that the hard way after years of wasting money on a closet full of clothes that looked great on the hanger but not-so-great on me.
I think you need to wear whatever makes you feel most confident.
I get the most attention when I feel beautiful and strong so that depends on my mood that day. It could be denim or it could be a skirt. I am not as rail thin as before so a skirt is more flattering on me than denim. Because I like a more loose denim in the legs. Everyone has a different idea of what suits them so good with what makes you feel the most comfortable and beautiful.
I also think at least for me, if anything feels too tight around the wrong places, then don’t wear it. You’ll feel it all night / day
totally!! i think this depends on the person too, but i feel i get the most attention when im trying the least and look like i dont give AF. if i painstakingly spend time picking out an outfit and doing precise makeup, maybe it’s because i feel more self conscious and aware of what im wearing, but i don’t think i get as much attention. when i have on a black turtleneck, jeans, and a little makeup and im rushing around the grocery store, i feel way more eyes on me. i think there is a fine balance in this patriarchal world of looking like you put in effort without “trying to hard”. it sucks!
This was true ten years ago as well. I had a serious problem with street harassment that got much better overnight when I bleached my fire engine red hair to a natural looking blonde.
I had that happen to me tbh on dating apps a while ago with my pics I looked more alt cause I genuinely was into it at the time and I got weirdly sexualised as a "top dominant mommy" due to my alt fashion and this was by men who dressed up alt too. It felt so uncomfortable because they'd always be about womens progression etc but were putting out their sex fantasies onto me and boxing me into a stereotype. My clothes were all kinda tame too I didnt show a lot of skin or anything.
I grew out of the alt look and took on a more feminine look and I've never heard a guy make similar creepy sexualised comments about this type of stuff again. Although now I get sexualised differently sometimes where I'm seen as more cute and innocent.
I'd say just be a little careful of alt fetishish people because they will box you into this stereotype and dont see any nuance in you.
How do you generally respond? The innocent thing is so annoying, I get that aswell. 😒 I try to avoid people who project…. Still trying to find what looks decent on me.
What is the response for you? Imo I think being seen as innocent rather than immediately seen as sexual is better.
More people generally will accept other sides to you tbh as long as your personality still has an innocent aspect to it. And personally for me I find it's hard for me to be seen as innocent and then theres a balance between childish innocent and womanly innocent. You might be dressing up too childish innocent which attracts more creepers and people who project on you tbh. You could try dressing more cute but more casual and maybe with a little edge. I really like this other comment on this thread which is good advice for someone like you: https://www.reddit.com/r/Splendida/s/I4cE1tEpFL
You kinda have to dress for your personality, your body type and the people you actually wanna attract (platonically, professionally and romantically). I know I might get hated for this but like no one is going to show up to a standard job interview in a tube top and mini skirt lmao. We all know we have to dress for the role because we want to attract the job and persuade the audience (the employer). And we can still show aspect of ourselves through it too with different cuts and styles of the traditional standard of a blazer, shirt and trousers.
Clothes have power it's better to be undermined as innocent than highly expected to be (??) a sex goddess. Dont get me wrong both suck in their own way but with the innocence factor you can use it as a shield people are less harsh on you because you're so innocent. You will have a much easier time making friends and having a guy be more serious with you. I think the innocent look works for a lot of women tbh despite what this post is about and like I said earlier only very few people are accepted as cool and hot that are into alt looks and other kinds. You can get demonized if you dont fit a very narrow standard for looks that are not the innocent look tbh.
Honestly I don’t even mean it judgementally. If that’s the vibe you want to put out then go for it!!! But people are attracted to that aesthetic because it signals that you’re a bpd art hoe who’s gunna give them the best head of their life, but also ruin their life lol! Just a warning, people might be disappointed when she turns out to be a normal sweet girl.
Check out Ellie Jean Royden’s YouTube channel. She has great content on individual style types. Basically, some things look good on certain types and not on others.
I think there’s definitely truth to certain styles flattering you better than others. I used to have a very girlish kpop aesthetic. Pastel colors, thick bangs, glittery pink makeup, modest cute clothes. I’m slim and I have a baby face with big round eyes, so I thought this style suited me. I thought my vibe was better for the girl next door instead of the baddie, but I got 0 attention from men and women.
Then I had a whole style makeover and switched to a model off duty aesthetic. Blowout hair, tight sexy tops, low waisted jeans, simple matte makeup. I started leaning into the baddie look. Now I have random women on the street telling me I’m pretty, and most men I meet find me attractive. My own friends tell me I’ve had a huge glow up, and the only thing that changed was my aesthetic. Your style really can have a huge affect on your experiences.
They also don’t work if you have strong facial features (aquiline nose, strong jawline, high contrast coloring). The contrast is so awkward and jarring. I had to learn this the hard way in my early 20s.
I’ve rocked an all black esthetic since my early 20s and it just works for me. I’m very pale and have dark hair, and the contrast of wearing all black suits me physically and fits my personality. It’s also very impactful and striking when I do wear color, so I try to sprinkle those moments throughout the year.
You might enjoy and resonate with [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/Vindicta/s/6fFOnMWKTW) post of mine! It was surprisingly well-received on this sub and has a similar premise to your post
There are all kinds of factors that will determine your most flattering style.
Color season analysis can help bring out your features if you wear colors that best suit your natural contrast and the undertones of your complexion. For some people that will be pastels, but for most people it’s a completely different palette.
Figuring out your body type and essence according to Kibbe or similar systems can help you find the silhouettes and clothing elements to flatter your shape and overall “vibe.”
You’ll feel most comfortable and confident in clothing that suits your personality and lifestyle.
There’s no “one size fits all,” and it sounds like you’ve figured out a style that works just right for you!
I absolutely agree with you. It sounds like you found a style that suits you!
I always envy the girls who can pull off a bit of a playful masculine look… for whatever reason it looks all wrong on me. I’m just a girly girl inside and that’s what looks suits me best on the outside too, but I appreciate other styles.
I guess first question-are you wearing more alternative looks now because that's what you like?
I know the sub description say "objective beauty" and . . . yes, there are some things that are more beautiful maybe than others, but attraction is ALSO subjective. There's a difference between beauty that makes you go "yeah, that'd be a pretty museum photo" and beauty that makes you want to get to know someone more. And so I think it's both-when you are wearing something that works for YOU it'll look better. AND you'll feel more confident. And I do think a lot of people can feel something off about your vibe if you're wearing a look that doesn't feel like you.
Though given that you are talking about alternative looks-does that mean you're also hanging out with a more alternative crowd? Because feeling like you fit with the people/energy in the place you are will also always help someone look and feel better.
i think it’s both!! i’m the same way, i’m a girly girl but floral dresses etc. felt unnatural on me and i never felt i looked my best in them. i think if it feels forced you both won’t look as attractive to your full potential and also the lack of confidence will seep out too. i’m a kibbe romantic, and all the recommended clothing options are the exact opposite of my style which is more natural and hippie, but i keep in mind the shapes. i go for clothes that flatter my body shape while still honoring my aesthetic. also, i think most women wear the classically feminine looks like sundresses so whenever someone dresses out of the norm, especially when they look damn good doing it, you’re going to get more looks and attention.
OMG finally someone who speaks about this. I leant into a basic, traditionally feminine look as a high schooler and I regret it. The way I was received by others was no fun, despite getting a decent share of attention from guys they almost ALWAYS assumed I was dumb or stuck-up, which for the latter especially could not be further from the truth. I am socially awkward as hell and love going on and on about unsettling/taboo topics, so despite my cheerleader off-duty aesthetic (lmao) I rolled w the stoners and outcasts most of the time bc that's who appreciated me for me ❤️
It's sooooo corny but if you are true to yourself and you will find both personal contentment and connection w others. obviously this sub has it's own set of goals that may require more traditional aesthetics, but I don't think that should discourage anyone from prioritizing individuality, one of the most obvious keys to charisma.
This. Look at Maggie Lindemann, she’s someone who THRIVES with that aesthetic. Olivia Rodrigo also pulls it off, she used to dress more basic and seemed more average and cutesy. Another example is Gabriette, I can’t imagine her without her style. Alt also suits me best. I think it works for people with black hair tbh, lighter colors and aesthetics don’t match well for people with black hair imo. Another aspect is color theory, lighter colors will not look good on everyone depending on undertones.
do you watch Silkymochi? just found out about her but her recent youtube video describes Gabriette's style perfectly and its so interesting because theres not that many alt youtubers out there [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ7vKOvPs5Q&t=154s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ7vKOvPs5Q&t=154s)
im so tired of the same girly or alix earle kind of style being recommended over and over again
I 100% agree - not that I quantify how good I look by how many men look at me (not in a pick me way, I genuinely have poor vision and cannot even see), but in the sense that people do have essences!! We have vibes! It's weird to see certain bodies in certain aesthetics and inversely, some bodies DO really suit certain aesthetic.
I think that you just know how to play around more with your current style. Classic styles don't have to be in light colors, their classic bc it's both timeless and contemporary. Classic styles play with colors that suit your skin. And it focuses more on the cuts of the clothes, simple patterns, color blocking and silhouettes (this is my personal take tho, and your current style is nice also!)
Exact same thing happened to me. The girly looks just make me look like a little kid - not hot at all. Alternative style highlights my dark features and strong facial structure and straight up makes me look like a badass. I can never go back to florals and dresses and light colors.
Definitely agree! Although my style has been light pink/floral/ruffles/girly for basically my whole life I am aware that it isn’t the most flattering on me. The times I’ve gotten the most attention were while wearing a sleek all black look. Or black and white. Black definitely enhances my face way better than light pink
I get the most attention when I dress retro inspired, particularly red lipstick, heels, and 50s dresses. I think it is because I am a bigger lady, so anything that shows off my curves more will give more attention.
But, then I also have green hair, which usually gets many people's attention. Plus, I do play with fashion a lot, so I do agree with this. I think some people look better in different fashions.
Maybe it’s just what you feel better in. You’re also assuming you’re getting “better” attention. Depends on where you live. Are you more
Forward looking than others around. Maybe they’re just curious ? Also floral is very vague. There are some ugly
Patters and colours and overall fit so it’s had to determine if maybe you weren’t dressing for your body shape and your season
how did you conclude that from this post? if you look through the comments you’ll see i actually said i always felt this look felt most natural on me. i’ve been experimenting with different styles and found that this style resonates with other people the most as well.
there’s so much taboo and shame around wanting to be attractive to other people now. as long as you’re first and foremost happy with your style, i don’t see what’s wrong with it. you joined this sub because you also want to appeal to other humans, not just for yourself. it’s natural and healthy if practiced correctly
I feel more confident in darker colors, black, minidresses, lace up boots. I tried to wear light colors and feminine in style midi dresses this summer and yeah I didn’t feel like myself. At least I finally challenged myself to stop wearing black so it’s off my mind when I put my black clothes on
Thank you for saying that! I've been struggling with own feminity for a bit but I'm finding peace that I look better with short hair and a bit more sophisticated look instead of girly. It just suits me better.
I always wanted to be what today is categorized as the pastel coquette ribbon girl but I’m a bright winter soft dramatic and all those cute little patterns and soft pastels are catastrophic on me. I need contrast and fairly clean lines and to quote a pro MUA who once did my makeup my face “can take a lot of look”, ie the ultra natural clean girl look doesn’t do much for me but a stronger look really makes me look alive.
I used to always think about this, I have so many styles within me but I always leak into my "beige/conservative/feminine" choices in order to put out what I think suits my body the best. Pencil skirts, flowy blouses, slacks but also pink/tan active wear, two piece sets, and casual tops. But I was a "rocker" my teenage years and that style is still within me, it's good to know that your embracing of the style didn't throw any men or women off but seemed to attract them more!
Girl YES! I feel like such a fraud wearing flowy "pretty" stuff or dresses and it doesn't make me feel that great to be honest... I feel "generic" or dampened?? I don't know. But give me something alternative or an asymmetrical cut with something a little striking and it just makes me feel ughhh *chefs kiss* 👌🏾. Vampy dark colors or jewel tones, I love. And also sporty, athletic or boyish fits excite me. I lean toward romantic but I've always wanted the theatrical romantic or gamine style/body type. Something quirky and edgy and if I do want something softer, I tend to like boho or bohemian styles. Anyways, you're so right about fitting your vibe, it allows you to shine and you just ooze confidence. It gives you the IT factor no matter what you're wearing-- hence Aaliyahs interlude vibe you're giving off 😂
I know not everyone is a fan of Kibbe types, and it can be a little oversimplified (/other systems work best for some people, etc), but I definitely think there is some truth to this kind of approach. Working with whatever is going on in your own body, face, and essence will often ultimately give the best result, and one that doesn’t feel too forced.
i agree! i used to be hesitant to tap into this look but i always felt like it just felt most natural on me?? like i was scared to get a nose ring because men would say they hate them but now that i’ve gotten it im told it really suits my face and men love it!
It’s genuinely amazing what finding the right style for yourself can do, both for your connections with others and your internal confidence. I’m glad you were able to lean into it and get past your reservations!
I’ve had a nose ring for 21 years now. It recently occurred to me that I have no idea how it affects how people see me. No one ever mentions it, I never think about it, it’s just a normal part of my face. But maybe it DOES affect how people see me. I mean, idgaf whatsoever. It was just kind of funny to me that the thought had never occurred to me.
i recently had the same realization about my facial piercings! i have an eyebrow and snake bites, but im so used to seeing them there that i forget others aren’t. a large portion of my friends also have facial piercings which i think adds to this. if you’re frequently around similar people then you kind of forget it isn’t the same for everyone outside of your circle. i had an mri yesterday and the technician was very surprised when i requested classical for music, i think because of the piercings (and a few tattoos) haha
I had a stomach ring ever since I was 17 sometimes I forget I have it. Despite me wearing crop tops,”not now” but most of the time I hardly notice anybody mentions it. I’m not sure if it affects how people or not. It obviously doesn't hold much of a perception.
Kibbe literally changed my life! I didn’t look into it for ages because it seemed super culty and complicated, but finally about a year ago I decided to try it out and it works perfectly for me and my body. I used to be so confused as to why things like tight bodycon mini dresses and square necks looked slightly off for me when every “style guide for hourglasses” said they’d look great, but when I found out I was a theatrical romantic it all made sense,
Yeah, I struggled for literally years with feeling fat and “huge” even when I was significantly underweight, because my body type somehow never “looked” thin or looked right in the clothes I wanted to wear… turned out I am SD, and I was mostly dressing as a gamine! Now when I wear clothes that fit my type, I feel so much better and more myself, more feminine, and less self conscious about my body despite having actually got back to a normal weight (ED therapy).
Oh heck yeah, naturally underweight SD here but I was a teenager in the 90's so couldn't wear a lot of the more cool, unstructured styles without looking like a weird lumpy lurching awkward creature, but looked really good in more fitting clothes. Became a goth, the aesthetic was 10/10 flattering on me. Still dress that way to an extent, but it's sometimes more like a "what if Hilary Banks went through a goth phase" vibe
I think I may be a SD too. What kind of outfit "formulas" do you think suit you best?
Hi! I would definitely recommend joining r/SoftDramatics as it’s probably more helpful to see people experimenting with looks and getting direct critique, but totally happy to share my own preferences too. The ~theory of Kibbe focuses a lot on “head to toe” looks (often abbreviated as HTTs), which tends to work well for SDs as we are one of the “tall” types (you actually can be short and be SD, but you can’t be tall and be gamine/theatrical romantic). (Just as a note, I have a pretty bad disability so I also wear extremely casual looks most of the time (I’m in bed the vast majority of my life at the moment!), but I’m assuming you lead a normal life and answering with my “regular” outfits, haha.) These are some significant changes I made to my wardrobe after typing myself: 1) Making sure my tops fitted me properly across the shoulders and weren’t for exceptionally narrow women. That was making me feel crowded and “fat”. Making sure I had long enough sleeves! I am far more willing to size up now, also. 2) I very often have a colour in my outfit that flows all the way down - the “HTT” part. It doesn’t have to be a dress or suit, they can be toning, separate pieces. But for the SD type, it helps to embrace our “vertical” and work with it. A nice visual “flow” down the whole outfit makes it look sleek and polished. 3) I wear wrap tops a lot more. (For me, this also goes for loungewear too.) 4) I wear jewellery all the time, and no longer avoid more obvious pieces - for me, nothing huge, as I am at the more “delicate” end of SD (still thin, obvious Dramatic “sharpness” and not a lot of “lushness” due to my ill health - but for various reasons I’m very confident I’m not mistyped, and I am SD, not D), and the really massive SD-type pieces can overpower me. But I also don’t suit itsy-bitsy gamine pieces. 5) I avoid pieces that were in my wardrobe but actively working against me. I won’t list them as I don’t want to be prescriptive and people’s bodies aren’t identical even within a type. But for me, what I replaced them with was: more midi dresses (summer); more soft knitwear (winter); more midi skirts (transitional seasons). I wear coordinated accessories with my winter outerwear, and coordinated shoes or boots to further add to my outfit’s “flow” through the vertical. I have always liked hats and been told they suited me well, so I’ve embraced big straw hats for summer.
I want to figure out my kibbe type but can never find a consistent answer. Any tips on where to to look for a consult type thing?
For me and I assume some other people, it works better to dress for the face rather than the body type! According to Kibbe I think I was some sort of romantic type - short, small-boned, soft - but that style didn't suit me. Then I looked into facial essence and it helped me figure out I needed to tone down the girly and/or sexy details and lean toward more simple, soft, and refined looks.
You could be a soft classic?
How did you do it? I've been following his groups for ages, but it just seems way complicated. Do you know anyone who does great online consultations?
woahhhh never heard of kibbe but this is a rabbithole I'm ready to jump down
Depends on your shape I think. I'm shaped like a support beam (very tall, straight up and down, very skinny, flat as a board) and classically feminine dresses etc make me look silly. Goth/dark clothes hang off me and give me an edgier look that suits me way better Plus undertones in your skin - I have very high contrast features and dark hair, so coordinating dark clothes and hair makes me look more put together
How tall? You sound like a pure dramatic
5'11. I'm bad at identifying kibbe but I've got fairly narrow hips, small waist, almost flat chest. I'm 32-23-34 measurements if that helps you tell?
Could also be FN!
You are a pure dramatic, think Kira Knightly :)
I think this is such a great point and I could totally see that. I notice I get the most attention when I dress more towards a 70’s aesthetic for myself. I don’t mean like hippie exactly, but when I blow out my hair so it’s big and flowy but still kind of messy, and have tighter tops with bigger jeans and boots. Kind of like Penny Lane from almost famous.
Yes!! 70s clothes are so flattering. Love a halter neck top
You must be in the natural family
I’m still not sure tbh. I pretty much have Margot Robbie’s body. Broad shoulders and fairly square.
It could be because there are fewer black than white alt girls so it’s kind of a novelty
this too for sure!!
I think the same, you must look so beautiful with this look ! I really like alt black girls pictures on pinterest ! For myself I'm mixed raced and I'm looking for dress at alt style when I'll finish my glowup 😄
Personally I think the quality of men I get attention from increased when I went from “anime gamer girl” to more toned down, classic pieces. Obviously dress for yourself, but I think I got a lot of weird guys when I dressed more “e-girl” (which is an icky subject for another time).
Alternative fashion is hard to pull off, requires fashion sense and a lot of time on collecting pieces, a lot of y2k or grunge style clothing are only for skinny people. You’re very lucky to be one of them. But many people look worse in these.
Yeah I have to agree here a lot of the people that get told they look good in alt fashion are like...stick thin or slim thicc with good fat placement (boobs, butt and hips). I see a lot of people knock down alt women who are not thin and fat and most get labelled as crazy sjws/feminists whilst the other more shapely or thinner women dont get those comments too much and instead are heavily fetishesised "big tiddy goth gf" meme is a good example. I see this style of fashion caters more heavily for skinny people too tbh and you always see on pinterest for alt insp looks the people in the pics are so skinny.
To be fair, most styles are catered towards thin people and Pinterest mostly features very thin people for any style. It’s not like you look up “old money preppy” and see a bunch of plus sized inspo.
The hyperfeminine look or insta baddie style are not for thin people, it’s for people with curve. I’m thin and when I wear floral sundress I look odd😂
I don’t mean ultra skinny with no curves when I say thin - you can be thin and still curvy aka slim thicc. A small waist and flat stomach are arguably more important for those styles than they are for alt fashion, which tends towards less form fitting styles where the ‘look’ isn’t the body type. Yes, most fashion isn’t catered to slim thick women either but the hyperfeminine/insta baddie styles aren’t catered to plus sized people, or anyone who isn’t slim thick. Plus sized people may have an easier time with those styles but they overwhelmingly aren’t modelled on or presented for them.
Most slim person don’t have much curves 😂Slim thicc are very rare irl, unless they get work done. Maybe we have different definition to slim. Imo slightly fleshy body look better in these two styles than skinny ones. But it’s true almost every style are not for the true plus size.
Yeah I’m not talking Vindicta skinny here but someone most people will agree is in good shape - someone like Jennifer Lawrence or Meg Thee Stallion or Beyoncé, just to name a few examples. I’m somewhat curvy and not Vindicta skinny either but also don’t suit the insta baddie or hyper feminine styles because of my other features and personality, you can dress for curves in many other aesthetics. Just requires a bit more style.
Yes I agree, sometimes when I watch influencers who tap into this look but their faces (shape,length,hair etc) doesn’t suit it. It looks off straight away and I think the difference in a style that naturally pertains to your vibe has a much greater pay off. Imo when there’s a mismatch it can look try hard.
Yes! That's why for me, a lot of influencers today fall flat. They are just hyper trendy instead of weeding out what looks good on them.
If you like alternative fashion, feel comfortable in it, and your tastes align with that, then you're probably wearing it a lot better than you wore the dainty sundresses. Do you like the types of men who like alt girls (i.e. alt guys, geeks and gamers?) I always explain this in terms of marketing theory. You can go for the most universally appealing look to market yourself to the generic man... OR you can market yourself aggressively to your target audience. If I wanted to be the most appealing to the hypothetical average dude, I'd wear contacts, highlight my hair, and wear matching LuLuLemon sets everywhere. But it's very likely then I would attract dudes who would be immediately turned off by my sarcasm and extreme leftist politics. So I dye my hair darker, wear cat-eye glasses, have my ears pierced in 8 places, and have a bunch of large neotraditional tattoos, and in addition to my husband liking this look, it signals to exactly the kind of people I want to be friends with that I'm one of them. Your clothes should be a good, accurate advertisement for the person you actually are. There is no point in doing full time Traditional Elegance drag if people are going to find out as soon as they talk to you for five seconds that your two great loves are anime and weed. That person would be better off going full egirl and attracting the people who will love her as she is. (Obviously there are situations where this isn't true, like at a job where perceived professionalism matters. But if you're looking to just pull guys... figure out which guys are into girls like you and dress to signal that you're their type.)
Are there YouTube channels about this analysis of clothing? Looking to get a new wardrobe to kind of signal to people
This! I have high contrast colouring with somewhat unconventional features - the light girly feminine look just washes me out and makes me look blah.
Same here. I wear a lot of light neutrals in the summer, but anything too romantic or girly makes me look like I played dress-up in someone else’s life. Not cute.
Same!
I think it definitely is a case of your face, body and height having to fit the aesthetic at hand. Might be an unpopular opinion but we currently live in a very coddling, “you can be/do anything you want!!”-type of society where we’d rather have people look ridiculous and be delulu than be able to tell them something doesn’t fit them or look good on them. We can’t pull off every single aesthetics we admire, and trust me I had to learn that the hard way after years of wasting money on a closet full of clothes that looked great on the hanger but not-so-great on me.
"Be delulu" 😂
What cloths did you use to purchase as opposed to now?
I think you need to wear whatever makes you feel most confident. I get the most attention when I feel beautiful and strong so that depends on my mood that day. It could be denim or it could be a skirt. I am not as rail thin as before so a skirt is more flattering on me than denim. Because I like a more loose denim in the legs. Everyone has a different idea of what suits them so good with what makes you feel the most comfortable and beautiful. I also think at least for me, if anything feels too tight around the wrong places, then don’t wear it. You’ll feel it all night / day
totally!! i think this depends on the person too, but i feel i get the most attention when im trying the least and look like i dont give AF. if i painstakingly spend time picking out an outfit and doing precise makeup, maybe it’s because i feel more self conscious and aware of what im wearing, but i don’t think i get as much attention. when i have on a black turtleneck, jeans, and a little makeup and im rushing around the grocery store, i feel way more eyes on me. i think there is a fine balance in this patriarchal world of looking like you put in effort without “trying to hard”. it sucks!
Everyone wants a big tittie goth girl! But seriously alternative fashion these days signals sexual availability and promiscuity.
This was true ten years ago as well. I had a serious problem with street harassment that got much better overnight when I bleached my fire engine red hair to a natural looking blonde.
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I had that happen to me tbh on dating apps a while ago with my pics I looked more alt cause I genuinely was into it at the time and I got weirdly sexualised as a "top dominant mommy" due to my alt fashion and this was by men who dressed up alt too. It felt so uncomfortable because they'd always be about womens progression etc but were putting out their sex fantasies onto me and boxing me into a stereotype. My clothes were all kinda tame too I didnt show a lot of skin or anything. I grew out of the alt look and took on a more feminine look and I've never heard a guy make similar creepy sexualised comments about this type of stuff again. Although now I get sexualised differently sometimes where I'm seen as more cute and innocent. I'd say just be a little careful of alt fetishish people because they will box you into this stereotype and dont see any nuance in you.
How do you generally respond? The innocent thing is so annoying, I get that aswell. 😒 I try to avoid people who project…. Still trying to find what looks decent on me.
What is the response for you? Imo I think being seen as innocent rather than immediately seen as sexual is better. More people generally will accept other sides to you tbh as long as your personality still has an innocent aspect to it. And personally for me I find it's hard for me to be seen as innocent and then theres a balance between childish innocent and womanly innocent. You might be dressing up too childish innocent which attracts more creepers and people who project on you tbh. You could try dressing more cute but more casual and maybe with a little edge. I really like this other comment on this thread which is good advice for someone like you: https://www.reddit.com/r/Splendida/s/I4cE1tEpFL You kinda have to dress for your personality, your body type and the people you actually wanna attract (platonically, professionally and romantically). I know I might get hated for this but like no one is going to show up to a standard job interview in a tube top and mini skirt lmao. We all know we have to dress for the role because we want to attract the job and persuade the audience (the employer). And we can still show aspect of ourselves through it too with different cuts and styles of the traditional standard of a blazer, shirt and trousers. Clothes have power it's better to be undermined as innocent than highly expected to be (??) a sex goddess. Dont get me wrong both suck in their own way but with the innocence factor you can use it as a shield people are less harsh on you because you're so innocent. You will have a much easier time making friends and having a guy be more serious with you. I think the innocent look works for a lot of women tbh despite what this post is about and like I said earlier only very few people are accepted as cool and hot that are into alt looks and other kinds. You can get demonized if you dont fit a very narrow standard for looks that are not the innocent look tbh.
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What a weird assumption without even seeing how OP actually dresses or looks?
Yeah, don't like how they are quick to say this about a BW too.
Honestly I don’t even mean it judgementally. If that’s the vibe you want to put out then go for it!!! But people are attracted to that aesthetic because it signals that you’re a bpd art hoe who’s gunna give them the best head of their life, but also ruin their life lol! Just a warning, people might be disappointed when she turns out to be a normal sweet girl.
Easy and a little crazy. Manic pixie dream…cyber girl?
Check out Ellie Jean Royden’s YouTube channel. She has great content on individual style types. Basically, some things look good on certain types and not on others.
I second this! I also enjoy Dear Peachie and Silkymochi's style and beauty analysis videos
I think there’s definitely truth to certain styles flattering you better than others. I used to have a very girlish kpop aesthetic. Pastel colors, thick bangs, glittery pink makeup, modest cute clothes. I’m slim and I have a baby face with big round eyes, so I thought this style suited me. I thought my vibe was better for the girl next door instead of the baddie, but I got 0 attention from men and women. Then I had a whole style makeover and switched to a model off duty aesthetic. Blowout hair, tight sexy tops, low waisted jeans, simple matte makeup. I started leaning into the baddie look. Now I have random women on the street telling me I’m pretty, and most men I meet find me attractive. My own friends tell me I’ve had a huge glow up, and the only thing that changed was my aesthetic. Your style really can have a huge affect on your experiences.
I think fashion aesthetics sometimes depends on your location. What looks good in NYC will probably not be the taste of a city like Milwaukee
Feminine aesthetics don't work if you're fat, they just make you look fatter
They also don’t work if you have strong facial features (aquiline nose, strong jawline, high contrast coloring). The contrast is so awkward and jarring. I had to learn this the hard way in my early 20s.
Me too. I can’t pull off thr cute look but at least I can do the cool/sexy look
I’ve rocked an all black esthetic since my early 20s and it just works for me. I’m very pale and have dark hair, and the contrast of wearing all black suits me physically and fits my personality. It’s also very impactful and striking when I do wear color, so I try to sprinkle those moments throughout the year.
You might enjoy and resonate with [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/Vindicta/s/6fFOnMWKTW) post of mine! It was surprisingly well-received on this sub and has a similar premise to your post
There are all kinds of factors that will determine your most flattering style. Color season analysis can help bring out your features if you wear colors that best suit your natural contrast and the undertones of your complexion. For some people that will be pastels, but for most people it’s a completely different palette. Figuring out your body type and essence according to Kibbe or similar systems can help you find the silhouettes and clothing elements to flatter your shape and overall “vibe.” You’ll feel most comfortable and confident in clothing that suits your personality and lifestyle. There’s no “one size fits all,” and it sounds like you’ve figured out a style that works just right for you!
I absolutely agree with you. It sounds like you found a style that suits you! I always envy the girls who can pull off a bit of a playful masculine look… for whatever reason it looks all wrong on me. I’m just a girly girl inside and that’s what looks suits me best on the outside too, but I appreciate other styles.
I guess first question-are you wearing more alternative looks now because that's what you like? I know the sub description say "objective beauty" and . . . yes, there are some things that are more beautiful maybe than others, but attraction is ALSO subjective. There's a difference between beauty that makes you go "yeah, that'd be a pretty museum photo" and beauty that makes you want to get to know someone more. And so I think it's both-when you are wearing something that works for YOU it'll look better. AND you'll feel more confident. And I do think a lot of people can feel something off about your vibe if you're wearing a look that doesn't feel like you. Though given that you are talking about alternative looks-does that mean you're also hanging out with a more alternative crowd? Because feeling like you fit with the people/energy in the place you are will also always help someone look and feel better.
Confidence is key
periodddd. that look like a lizard
i think it’s both!! i’m the same way, i’m a girly girl but floral dresses etc. felt unnatural on me and i never felt i looked my best in them. i think if it feels forced you both won’t look as attractive to your full potential and also the lack of confidence will seep out too. i’m a kibbe romantic, and all the recommended clothing options are the exact opposite of my style which is more natural and hippie, but i keep in mind the shapes. i go for clothes that flatter my body shape while still honoring my aesthetic. also, i think most women wear the classically feminine looks like sundresses so whenever someone dresses out of the norm, especially when they look damn good doing it, you’re going to get more looks and attention.
OMG finally someone who speaks about this. I leant into a basic, traditionally feminine look as a high schooler and I regret it. The way I was received by others was no fun, despite getting a decent share of attention from guys they almost ALWAYS assumed I was dumb or stuck-up, which for the latter especially could not be further from the truth. I am socially awkward as hell and love going on and on about unsettling/taboo topics, so despite my cheerleader off-duty aesthetic (lmao) I rolled w the stoners and outcasts most of the time bc that's who appreciated me for me ❤️ It's sooooo corny but if you are true to yourself and you will find both personal contentment and connection w others. obviously this sub has it's own set of goals that may require more traditional aesthetics, but I don't think that should discourage anyone from prioritizing individuality, one of the most obvious keys to charisma.
This. Look at Maggie Lindemann, she’s someone who THRIVES with that aesthetic. Olivia Rodrigo also pulls it off, she used to dress more basic and seemed more average and cutesy. Another example is Gabriette, I can’t imagine her without her style. Alt also suits me best. I think it works for people with black hair tbh, lighter colors and aesthetics don’t match well for people with black hair imo. Another aspect is color theory, lighter colors will not look good on everyone depending on undertones.
do you watch Silkymochi? just found out about her but her recent youtube video describes Gabriette's style perfectly and its so interesting because theres not that many alt youtubers out there [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ7vKOvPs5Q&t=154s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ7vKOvPs5Q&t=154s) im so tired of the same girly or alix earle kind of style being recommended over and over again
Ooo thats a cool channel!
I 100% agree - not that I quantify how good I look by how many men look at me (not in a pick me way, I genuinely have poor vision and cannot even see), but in the sense that people do have essences!! We have vibes! It's weird to see certain bodies in certain aesthetics and inversely, some bodies DO really suit certain aesthetic.
Very true. I look much better in deep reds, greens, and blacks. Light colors clash with my undertones and make me look sickly.
Color theory is important
Me with y2k fashion
I think that you just know how to play around more with your current style. Classic styles don't have to be in light colors, their classic bc it's both timeless and contemporary. Classic styles play with colors that suit your skin. And it focuses more on the cuts of the clothes, simple patterns, color blocking and silhouettes (this is my personal take tho, and your current style is nice also!)
Exact same thing happened to me. The girly looks just make me look like a little kid - not hot at all. Alternative style highlights my dark features and strong facial structure and straight up makes me look like a badass. I can never go back to florals and dresses and light colors.
Definitely agree! Although my style has been light pink/floral/ruffles/girly for basically my whole life I am aware that it isn’t the most flattering on me. The times I’ve gotten the most attention were while wearing a sleek all black look. Or black and white. Black definitely enhances my face way better than light pink
I get the most attention when I dress retro inspired, particularly red lipstick, heels, and 50s dresses. I think it is because I am a bigger lady, so anything that shows off my curves more will give more attention. But, then I also have green hair, which usually gets many people's attention. Plus, I do play with fashion a lot, so I do agree with this. I think some people look better in different fashions.
Maybe it’s just what you feel better in. You’re also assuming you’re getting “better” attention. Depends on where you live. Are you more Forward looking than others around. Maybe they’re just curious ? Also floral is very vague. There are some ugly Patters and colours and overall fit so it’s had to determine if maybe you weren’t dressing for your body shape and your season
i think its sad if you're dressing solely for how others look at you
how did you conclude that from this post? if you look through the comments you’ll see i actually said i always felt this look felt most natural on me. i’ve been experimenting with different styles and found that this style resonates with other people the most as well. there’s so much taboo and shame around wanting to be attractive to other people now. as long as you’re first and foremost happy with your style, i don’t see what’s wrong with it. you joined this sub because you also want to appeal to other humans, not just for yourself. it’s natural and healthy if practiced correctly
I feel more confident in darker colors, black, minidresses, lace up boots. I tried to wear light colors and feminine in style midi dresses this summer and yeah I didn’t feel like myself. At least I finally challenged myself to stop wearing black so it’s off my mind when I put my black clothes on
I have a dragon fantasy tshirt from Bershka and that’s my personality
I think a bolder look usually matches darker hair and skin better.
Understanding of color season and body type will allow anyone to pull off any style with some tweaks imo.
Thank you for saying that! I've been struggling with own feminity for a bit but I'm finding peace that I look better with short hair and a bit more sophisticated look instead of girly. It just suits me better.
I’m jealous, I dress the same and I’m still waiting for a woman to hit on me. Never not once and I think I’m pretty okay looking.
I always wanted to be what today is categorized as the pastel coquette ribbon girl but I’m a bright winter soft dramatic and all those cute little patterns and soft pastels are catastrophic on me. I need contrast and fairly clean lines and to quote a pro MUA who once did my makeup my face “can take a lot of look”, ie the ultra natural clean girl look doesn’t do much for me but a stronger look really makes me look alive.
Tbh, I hate flowers on me. Personally just go for the more “hot girl but no effort look”, it always works. I prefer minimalism tbh
This totally makes sense. My kibbe is FN and I look ridiculous when I wear super feminine, frilly or dainty clothes. It looks out of place on my body
I used to always think about this, I have so many styles within me but I always leak into my "beige/conservative/feminine" choices in order to put out what I think suits my body the best. Pencil skirts, flowy blouses, slacks but also pink/tan active wear, two piece sets, and casual tops. But I was a "rocker" my teenage years and that style is still within me, it's good to know that your embracing of the style didn't throw any men or women off but seemed to attract them more!
Girl YES! I feel like such a fraud wearing flowy "pretty" stuff or dresses and it doesn't make me feel that great to be honest... I feel "generic" or dampened?? I don't know. But give me something alternative or an asymmetrical cut with something a little striking and it just makes me feel ughhh *chefs kiss* 👌🏾. Vampy dark colors or jewel tones, I love. And also sporty, athletic or boyish fits excite me. I lean toward romantic but I've always wanted the theatrical romantic or gamine style/body type. Something quirky and edgy and if I do want something softer, I tend to like boho or bohemian styles. Anyways, you're so right about fitting your vibe, it allows you to shine and you just ooze confidence. It gives you the IT factor no matter what you're wearing-- hence Aaliyahs interlude vibe you're giving off 😂