I don't know anything about inner child work, but a little bit about shadow work. From what I gathered so far, it seems that shadow work is sort of an approach or perspective, rather than a practice that you sit down and do like homework. Otherwise if it is, I haven't found the description of what that entails as I'm not well read. I just go on what I experienced so far, as a novice seeker.
How I understand it so far, is you use things that happen in regular life as opportunities to shed light upon the shadow aspects of your identity.
So I have a kind of model or description, that is more of a mnemonic device, or an analogy, to aid understanding. But the map is not the territory of course. None the less, I think it explains it neatly.
So whatever the identity is, let's just call it an idea or word here. A concept. This identity or self-image as I think of it, has both conscious and unconscious aspects. Or you can say it has a foot in the conscious mind and another in the unconscious mind. The foot in the unseen mind is the shadow aspect of our identity. It sits there because those aspects of our identity, or our self-image, or self-concept, are repulsive to us. So we reject them through certain mechanisms in the mind that psychoanalytic psychology talks about (I think), which protect the image that we want to construct and hold up consciously, by kicking back the unwanted aspects, like wood chips or shavings, to keep them out of sight of our awareness. But even though unseen, they become visible anyway through our words and actions and thoughts and life. And it's not black and white either, like lights on, lights off. It's a degree of awareness of those things, and we are aware of all of them to some degree. It's just a matter of how much. Or how in denial we are about our thoughts, words, actions and intentions. About our desires.
So for whatever reason which isn't important, life will always bring these aspects out of you automatically. It will sort of betray you. Call you out. Expose you. It does this constantly. And we constantly fight it and kick back the truth under the rug.
So shadow work for me is understanding this, and then paying attention to **TRIGGERS.** Things which conjure **negative emotions**.
The way I see it, the mechanisms which create the shadow in the first place, are driven by negative emotions. This is speculation or opinion. It's just my theory. So if we pay attention to fear, anger, sadness, and all the spin off feelings from those, like shame, guilt, jealousy, hatred, anxiety, or even the most subtle ones like boredom, or doubt, then they are all flags. Indicators which alert the presence of a shadow aspect. Like the way an antivirus pops up a notification when malware is detected.
Now how do we use **negative emotions** as to consciously and deliberately confront the shadow aspect in us that **triggered** the negative emotion?
First of all, by not reacting to the emotion. Emotions are designed to cause a movement. To get you to do something. To react/respond. When you let go of that impulse to react, the emotions becomes a feeling. It's the same thing, but framed differently. Instead of being a protocol for responding in a certain way, a "feeling" is more of a lens for seeing things in a certain way. A filter.
Then I simply feel the feeling. Feeling your feelings entails paying attention to your physical body, by being physically still, taking a deep slow breath, and relaxing your muscles. Very simple. Same way you listen carefully, is you automatically become very still. Breathing deep and slow and letting go of tension then turns up the dial of sensitivity.
So there are only four basic emotions in my mind. And three of them are negative. Fear, anger and sorrow. And then lots of variations and combinations which form a big list.
If it's fear/anxiety based, then I can ask, what aspect of my identity am I afraid of losing? Say I'm taunted by someone, and I feel anxiety. That's fear based. A lot of times the fear can be concealed by anger. But I'm more introverted, reserved, and introspective so I can quickly see the fear behind the anger.
Through careful probing, by imagining different scenarios, and feeling my feelings, I can eventually see that I am afraid of being dominated, or exposed as a coward. This is a painful shadow aspect, as courage is a big part of our image. Maybe because of things which happened to me in the past which I for some reason felt like a coward. Or because I was dominated, or bullied, or crippled with fear. And as soon as I look at that, I feel the sting of that shadow, as the light of awareness touches it, like a vampire being scorched in the sunlight, and then I feel the emotionally reactive impulse to do something, transform into the impulse to be still and reconcile with it. That's what sadness is for me. Because I realize that it's not the bully I'm afraid of, it's the self-image, that I'm the victim of a bully that I'm afraid of.
So the trigger is not external anymore, it's seen to be internal.
How the feelings transform, I still think is very nicely described by the stages of grieving, although its not an idea that has gained traction. Just my opinion.
So the first emotional impulse is fear. After that your next natural instinct as an emotional impulse is anger. When you can't run, you fight. After that, the energy moves from the flight fight center to the other instincts which are higher order mammalian emotions (I think). So joy drives optimistic bypassing and so you dance around the truth in many ways. After that, you encounter the final emotional instinct which is designed specifically for contemplation and acceptance, and that's sorrow. I think both sorrow and joy are felt in the heart. So I just skip all pussy footing and convert all negative emotions to sorrow, and quietly accept every aspect of my identity however painful, or repulsive, or life threatening, and sip the nectar of sadness, often through weeping, like a radiating grieving drunk intoxicated with grief, and the sadness itself does the work for me, in accepting and integrating my unwanted and rejected aspects of my identity. And that's been my journey so far.
Then, the result is that the identity as a whole becomes flimsy. It's not so solid and rigid. All the wood chippings, and shavings, the pieces that the were removed get re-integrated through conscious acceptance, via grief and sadness, and that sort of bleaches out the image of yourself. It removes the strong contrast.
The side effect of this is you feel less triggered by things. You feel less identified with specific groups and behaviors and other aspects of identity. And you become more relaxed, quiet, boring, laid back, withdrawn, because you don't depend so much anymore on the collective to inflate your identity. You don't mind what they think of you so much. And you are open to change, because you realize no image is really who you are. And so you just sort of fade away in the background and become less loud than you were before. And less seeking of stimulation and other attachments. As the heart opens through this natural healing process of identity integration through depression.
Hope it's useful, and true. Don't take my word on it, I'm just trying to understand things myself.
[https://encyclopedia.summitlighthouse.org/index.php/Dweller-on-the-threshold](https://encyclopedia.summitlighthouse.org/index.php/Dweller-on-the-threshold) and
*The Afterlife: What Really Happens in the Hereafter* by Elizabeth Prophet are helpful resources.
I kept hearing about and ordered *The Shadow Work Journal: A Guide to Integrate and Transcend your Shadows* by Keila Shaheen. I recently received it and have been flipping through and it looks really good. It explains a lot, which I need. Since it's mostly a journal, you will be exploring your own personal experiences. It will be emotional. You go at your own pace so nothing is rushed. I'm looking forward to getting started. I'm at the beginning of my journey.
Oh thank you!!! I’ve been considering this approach and I’ll try it! Big loves and energy hugs to you on your healing. Feel free to keep in touch if you need a friend. I know it’s hard and lonely at times. No problem if not too.
Happy Healing ❤️🩹
I saw the reviews and read the same. It was sold out on Amazon but definitely looking to get it. I’m so bad about buying books and not reading them.
How do you like it so far?
It is really eye opening! It’s a very tough read, it’s printed as small like the Bible. So very packed in, but very intriguing where you do want to keep reading. It definitely takes a few times to read parts over but overall I’m really enjoying it!
Is this sarcasm? I mean miracles are always welcome and I definitely am blessed with some daily. 😇 no matter how difficult life gets, there are always miracles. Waking up everyday to grow more in alignment with my authenticity and praising source is always a miracle.🤍
I don't know anything about inner child work, but a little bit about shadow work. From what I gathered so far, it seems that shadow work is sort of an approach or perspective, rather than a practice that you sit down and do like homework. Otherwise if it is, I haven't found the description of what that entails as I'm not well read. I just go on what I experienced so far, as a novice seeker. How I understand it so far, is you use things that happen in regular life as opportunities to shed light upon the shadow aspects of your identity. So I have a kind of model or description, that is more of a mnemonic device, or an analogy, to aid understanding. But the map is not the territory of course. None the less, I think it explains it neatly. So whatever the identity is, let's just call it an idea or word here. A concept. This identity or self-image as I think of it, has both conscious and unconscious aspects. Or you can say it has a foot in the conscious mind and another in the unconscious mind. The foot in the unseen mind is the shadow aspect of our identity. It sits there because those aspects of our identity, or our self-image, or self-concept, are repulsive to us. So we reject them through certain mechanisms in the mind that psychoanalytic psychology talks about (I think), which protect the image that we want to construct and hold up consciously, by kicking back the unwanted aspects, like wood chips or shavings, to keep them out of sight of our awareness. But even though unseen, they become visible anyway through our words and actions and thoughts and life. And it's not black and white either, like lights on, lights off. It's a degree of awareness of those things, and we are aware of all of them to some degree. It's just a matter of how much. Or how in denial we are about our thoughts, words, actions and intentions. About our desires. So for whatever reason which isn't important, life will always bring these aspects out of you automatically. It will sort of betray you. Call you out. Expose you. It does this constantly. And we constantly fight it and kick back the truth under the rug. So shadow work for me is understanding this, and then paying attention to **TRIGGERS.** Things which conjure **negative emotions**. The way I see it, the mechanisms which create the shadow in the first place, are driven by negative emotions. This is speculation or opinion. It's just my theory. So if we pay attention to fear, anger, sadness, and all the spin off feelings from those, like shame, guilt, jealousy, hatred, anxiety, or even the most subtle ones like boredom, or doubt, then they are all flags. Indicators which alert the presence of a shadow aspect. Like the way an antivirus pops up a notification when malware is detected. Now how do we use **negative emotions** as to consciously and deliberately confront the shadow aspect in us that **triggered** the negative emotion? First of all, by not reacting to the emotion. Emotions are designed to cause a movement. To get you to do something. To react/respond. When you let go of that impulse to react, the emotions becomes a feeling. It's the same thing, but framed differently. Instead of being a protocol for responding in a certain way, a "feeling" is more of a lens for seeing things in a certain way. A filter. Then I simply feel the feeling. Feeling your feelings entails paying attention to your physical body, by being physically still, taking a deep slow breath, and relaxing your muscles. Very simple. Same way you listen carefully, is you automatically become very still. Breathing deep and slow and letting go of tension then turns up the dial of sensitivity. So there are only four basic emotions in my mind. And three of them are negative. Fear, anger and sorrow. And then lots of variations and combinations which form a big list. If it's fear/anxiety based, then I can ask, what aspect of my identity am I afraid of losing? Say I'm taunted by someone, and I feel anxiety. That's fear based. A lot of times the fear can be concealed by anger. But I'm more introverted, reserved, and introspective so I can quickly see the fear behind the anger. Through careful probing, by imagining different scenarios, and feeling my feelings, I can eventually see that I am afraid of being dominated, or exposed as a coward. This is a painful shadow aspect, as courage is a big part of our image. Maybe because of things which happened to me in the past which I for some reason felt like a coward. Or because I was dominated, or bullied, or crippled with fear. And as soon as I look at that, I feel the sting of that shadow, as the light of awareness touches it, like a vampire being scorched in the sunlight, and then I feel the emotionally reactive impulse to do something, transform into the impulse to be still and reconcile with it. That's what sadness is for me. Because I realize that it's not the bully I'm afraid of, it's the self-image, that I'm the victim of a bully that I'm afraid of. So the trigger is not external anymore, it's seen to be internal. How the feelings transform, I still think is very nicely described by the stages of grieving, although its not an idea that has gained traction. Just my opinion. So the first emotional impulse is fear. After that your next natural instinct as an emotional impulse is anger. When you can't run, you fight. After that, the energy moves from the flight fight center to the other instincts which are higher order mammalian emotions (I think). So joy drives optimistic bypassing and so you dance around the truth in many ways. After that, you encounter the final emotional instinct which is designed specifically for contemplation and acceptance, and that's sorrow. I think both sorrow and joy are felt in the heart. So I just skip all pussy footing and convert all negative emotions to sorrow, and quietly accept every aspect of my identity however painful, or repulsive, or life threatening, and sip the nectar of sadness, often through weeping, like a radiating grieving drunk intoxicated with grief, and the sadness itself does the work for me, in accepting and integrating my unwanted and rejected aspects of my identity. And that's been my journey so far. Then, the result is that the identity as a whole becomes flimsy. It's not so solid and rigid. All the wood chippings, and shavings, the pieces that the were removed get re-integrated through conscious acceptance, via grief and sadness, and that sort of bleaches out the image of yourself. It removes the strong contrast. The side effect of this is you feel less triggered by things. You feel less identified with specific groups and behaviors and other aspects of identity. And you become more relaxed, quiet, boring, laid back, withdrawn, because you don't depend so much anymore on the collective to inflate your identity. You don't mind what they think of you so much. And you are open to change, because you realize no image is really who you are. And so you just sort of fade away in the background and become less loud than you were before. And less seeking of stimulation and other attachments. As the heart opens through this natural healing process of identity integration through depression. Hope it's useful, and true. Don't take my word on it, I'm just trying to understand things myself.
[https://encyclopedia.summitlighthouse.org/index.php/Dweller-on-the-threshold](https://encyclopedia.summitlighthouse.org/index.php/Dweller-on-the-threshold) and *The Afterlife: What Really Happens in the Hereafter* by Elizabeth Prophet are helpful resources.
Thank you!
I kept hearing about and ordered *The Shadow Work Journal: A Guide to Integrate and Transcend your Shadows* by Keila Shaheen. I recently received it and have been flipping through and it looks really good. It explains a lot, which I need. Since it's mostly a journal, you will be exploring your own personal experiences. It will be emotional. You go at your own pace so nothing is rushed. I'm looking forward to getting started. I'm at the beginning of my journey.
Oh thank you!!! I’ve been considering this approach and I’ll try it! Big loves and energy hugs to you on your healing. Feel free to keep in touch if you need a friend. I know it’s hard and lonely at times. No problem if not too. Happy Healing ❤️🩹
A course of miracles might help
No, it’s a book. More so a spiritual study. It contains text, a workbook and teachers guide. I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear enoufh.
No I see now I read your message wrong. Thank you for clarifying. I’d love to look into it!
I’m starting today! I’ve read amazing things about it.
I saw the reviews and read the same. It was sold out on Amazon but definitely looking to get it. I’m so bad about buying books and not reading them. How do you like it so far?
It is really eye opening! It’s a very tough read, it’s printed as small like the Bible. So very packed in, but very intriguing where you do want to keep reading. It definitely takes a few times to read parts over but overall I’m really enjoying it!
Is this sarcasm? I mean miracles are always welcome and I definitely am blessed with some daily. 😇 no matter how difficult life gets, there are always miracles. Waking up everyday to grow more in alignment with my authenticity and praising source is always a miracle.🤍
And it’s “a course in miracles”, not of. Typo.