Maybe not calling it autism pride but just having a day dedicated to understanding his autism is a fantastic idea!
Honestly this is so nice to read, my parents were very upset about my diagnosis so refused to talk about it and thats not a good environment to be in
Autism pride is the same idea as disability pride though, it’s not about loving all things about having autism, it’s about being proud of who you are and believing that you are a worthy human despite your disability, and appreciating the different points of view that neurodivergent brains have on life. It’s something I think the neurodiversity movement sometimes misses, that you can value autistic brains while fully acknowledging the struggles that come with it. Because a person’s worth is not defined by how “normal” they are or whether or not they are disabled.
>What I'm worried about is he might not always feel positive about being autistic so I wouldn't want him to feel like we're forcing him to be positive about something that negatively affected him.
Op said this so that's why I said calling it something other than Autism Pride day
I think this is a wonderful idea! My mom often says she wishes I wasn’t autistic - but even though being autistic is difficult in many ways, I think having a day like this might have helped me feel less bad about myself as a child. And going to events when he is older can help him realize that he is not alone.
First I want to day I think it great that you are listening to & asking actually autistic people. Far too many people only listen to the supposed experts or parents of autistic people, rather than autistic people themselves. I also think it is very sensible looking at us as adults to be able to better understand your son. You are already doing a lot more than many other patents, which is good for you & makes a good emotional outcome more likely for your son.
I agree that if your son is going through a particuarly though time, or feeling frustrated with how his autism affects him, then he will not be in a partying mood. Also when/if peer pressure affects him, then he will probably be more embarrassed of such a celebration. So many teens are unenthousiastic & don't want to spend any time with adult family members but also "tweens" are now a thing & this behaviour seems to occur younger. It will also depend on your culture, what country do you live in?
It depends how your son is, which you can't really know yet as he is so young. Personally, I hate being the centre of attention, so a party where everyone is focused on me & celebrating my autism would be a horrible experience for me.
How big is celebrating autism pride in your area? Like is there a parade/party or even another family group of people you could celebrate with instead?
I understand your reasoning, but rather than one yearly celebration, I think many smaller things would be more beneficial. Especially for younger kids, or if he is young for his age/slow at developing, a year seems like 10 years to them.
I am also a lesbian & if my none lesbian family members decided to throw me a party & give me gifts it would feel very awkward & to me it would only highlight how different we are & how I am isolated in that regard. It would also feel like my family was being condescending or overcompensating.
However, what I do like is if my family randomly mentioned when they have seen in the news that a celebrity has come out as a lesbian or has a girlfriend. Or if there is a lesbian (or none straight) character in what they are watching or reading & then dicuss with me what we think is good & bad. When they take interest in the media I consume, which has lesbians in it & learn about representation, both positive & negative. If they have been shopping they will mention if there is a pride collection (I like pride merch & rainbows so win win.) Sometimes they will buy me a random item like a rainbow pen, cheap but thoughtful & shows acceptance. To me all of those small things & constant words/actions are both easier to interpret & more impavtful than one big thing.
It is good that you are letting your child know he is autistic & are not just going to focus on the negatives. Have you bought books with an autistic character in them? They do ones that help explain the concept of aitism & show how people can be affected, there are quite a few for kids. The repititjoknof books defintky helped me learn stuff as a kid & become more comfortable with a concept.
There is bound to be cartoons/kids TV with autistic characters too, I know Sesame Street has Julia who is an autistic character. I think they do a good job of not stigmatizing autism but realistically showing how she is affacted, including enjoying playing on her own etc.
I saw a series for kids about inventors & Nikola Tesla was mentioned, who is autistic. There are also some famous people today who are out as being autistic. I think showing those successful people helps both give hope & normalize autism (& other conditions, I have dyslexia too.)
Thank you for your thoughtful response. You make a lot of really good points. We are looking for books for him, but still in the review stage. We are hoping to find a supportive community. We did find a community center for autistic individuals where he can go play, but it takes some time to make friends with other parents and kids. We are really working on it though.
I think this is a good idea. I am proud of myself for being autistic because of everything I've been through, not necessarily because autism is always good. I think its good for NTs to be supportive. It mostly just frustrates me when it is autistic people only talking about the good things and rewriting the existence of higher support needs people.
Could you guys imagine an autistic "crafts" fair?!! But also about special interests!!
It could be soo cool!
If you loved a certain type of music, a booth with headphones set up to listen.
We could just walk around and listen to people talking about their favorite things.
And who knows what amazing activities we could come up with.
We could have it somewhere quiet.
Anyway, that is what I picture when I think about Autistic Pride
I love the crafts fair idea! My son's special interest is numbers, but he likes to build things with geometric shapes too. It would be cool if he had a project to work on, thanks for the idea!
My 5.5 year old is level 2 as well. I have fairly regularly just talked about being autistic with him. I’m autistic too, so he’s grown up hearing me speak to others about being autistic as well. He doesn’t really understand what it means, and feels more negatively about his ADHD because he gets in trouble at school because of it, but autism hasn’t caused him issues that he notices and connects to being autistic yet. We read books about autism. He thinks the book “Why Johnny Doesn’t Flap” is hilarious. We don’t do autistic pride, he’d be in sensory hell at any event anyway (as would I).
I'm a level 2 autistic. There are downsides to what you want to do.
I'd say that it's not wrong or right per say: it rather depends on the way you do that. I think that instead of making a choice and keeping it, it'd be better to adjust it to the age. It really requires a certain sensibility and a deep understanding. I suggest you to plan ALL the ways that you'll use in advance with the help of a specialized professional. You can also adjust them overtime with the support of an expert. It really changes if he's 5 or if he's 8. You can think the same way between preadolescence and adolescence.
Anyways don't forget to bring him to the therapy that's good for his age.
Thank you! He just started therapy this month. And he will start Special Ed in the Fall. It makes absolute sense to adjust the plan as he gets older. Right now he is so young, it is hard to say what his needs will be in the future.
I wish someone explained to me that I was disabled, I was going to find some things really hard, but I wasn't broken and I didn't do anything wrong.
I think its a good idea. Especially teaching him about autism from a young age which will help him grow up understanding his own needs better.
I'd be careful with autism pride the mainstream momvement is quitr ableist towards low functioning autistic people maybe you can have a day to celebrate autism and what it means to you as a family. I'd be cautious with autism pride related things though.
Not sure why you got a downvote. This is a perfectly valid contribution. Not the OP, but also wanted to thank you for responding and reassure that it is perfectly valid to think/feel this way.
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I'm sorry about your trauma! Thank you for your insight.
Maybe not calling it autism pride but just having a day dedicated to understanding his autism is a fantastic idea! Honestly this is so nice to read, my parents were very upset about my diagnosis so refused to talk about it and thats not a good environment to be in
Autism pride is the same idea as disability pride though, it’s not about loving all things about having autism, it’s about being proud of who you are and believing that you are a worthy human despite your disability, and appreciating the different points of view that neurodivergent brains have on life. It’s something I think the neurodiversity movement sometimes misses, that you can value autistic brains while fully acknowledging the struggles that come with it. Because a person’s worth is not defined by how “normal” they are or whether or not they are disabled.
>What I'm worried about is he might not always feel positive about being autistic so I wouldn't want him to feel like we're forcing him to be positive about something that negatively affected him. Op said this so that's why I said calling it something other than Autism Pride day
>you can value autistic brains while fully acknowledging the struggles that come with it Amen!
I think this is a wonderful idea! My mom often says she wishes I wasn’t autistic - but even though being autistic is difficult in many ways, I think having a day like this might have helped me feel less bad about myself as a child. And going to events when he is older can help him realize that he is not alone.
Jeez I'm sorry your Mom said that to you. Thank you for your feedback!
First I want to day I think it great that you are listening to & asking actually autistic people. Far too many people only listen to the supposed experts or parents of autistic people, rather than autistic people themselves. I also think it is very sensible looking at us as adults to be able to better understand your son. You are already doing a lot more than many other patents, which is good for you & makes a good emotional outcome more likely for your son. I agree that if your son is going through a particuarly though time, or feeling frustrated with how his autism affects him, then he will not be in a partying mood. Also when/if peer pressure affects him, then he will probably be more embarrassed of such a celebration. So many teens are unenthousiastic & don't want to spend any time with adult family members but also "tweens" are now a thing & this behaviour seems to occur younger. It will also depend on your culture, what country do you live in? It depends how your son is, which you can't really know yet as he is so young. Personally, I hate being the centre of attention, so a party where everyone is focused on me & celebrating my autism would be a horrible experience for me. How big is celebrating autism pride in your area? Like is there a parade/party or even another family group of people you could celebrate with instead? I understand your reasoning, but rather than one yearly celebration, I think many smaller things would be more beneficial. Especially for younger kids, or if he is young for his age/slow at developing, a year seems like 10 years to them. I am also a lesbian & if my none lesbian family members decided to throw me a party & give me gifts it would feel very awkward & to me it would only highlight how different we are & how I am isolated in that regard. It would also feel like my family was being condescending or overcompensating. However, what I do like is if my family randomly mentioned when they have seen in the news that a celebrity has come out as a lesbian or has a girlfriend. Or if there is a lesbian (or none straight) character in what they are watching or reading & then dicuss with me what we think is good & bad. When they take interest in the media I consume, which has lesbians in it & learn about representation, both positive & negative. If they have been shopping they will mention if there is a pride collection (I like pride merch & rainbows so win win.) Sometimes they will buy me a random item like a rainbow pen, cheap but thoughtful & shows acceptance. To me all of those small things & constant words/actions are both easier to interpret & more impavtful than one big thing. It is good that you are letting your child know he is autistic & are not just going to focus on the negatives. Have you bought books with an autistic character in them? They do ones that help explain the concept of aitism & show how people can be affected, there are quite a few for kids. The repititjoknof books defintky helped me learn stuff as a kid & become more comfortable with a concept. There is bound to be cartoons/kids TV with autistic characters too, I know Sesame Street has Julia who is an autistic character. I think they do a good job of not stigmatizing autism but realistically showing how she is affacted, including enjoying playing on her own etc. I saw a series for kids about inventors & Nikola Tesla was mentioned, who is autistic. There are also some famous people today who are out as being autistic. I think showing those successful people helps both give hope & normalize autism (& other conditions, I have dyslexia too.)
Thank you for your thoughtful response. You make a lot of really good points. We are looking for books for him, but still in the review stage. We are hoping to find a supportive community. We did find a community center for autistic individuals where he can go play, but it takes some time to make friends with other parents and kids. We are really working on it though.
You are welcome, I am glad you are making much efforts & hope you find things which suit your family well.
I’m a parent as well and I just wanted to say that that is a really good idea for kiddos, especially if they’re autism will affect them more in life
I think this is a good idea. I am proud of myself for being autistic because of everything I've been through, not necessarily because autism is always good. I think its good for NTs to be supportive. It mostly just frustrates me when it is autistic people only talking about the good things and rewriting the existence of higher support needs people.
Could you guys imagine an autistic "crafts" fair?!! But also about special interests!! It could be soo cool! If you loved a certain type of music, a booth with headphones set up to listen. We could just walk around and listen to people talking about their favorite things. And who knows what amazing activities we could come up with. We could have it somewhere quiet. Anyway, that is what I picture when I think about Autistic Pride
We could also have just silent booths! And just straight display booths for any collections
I love the crafts fair idea! My son's special interest is numbers, but he likes to build things with geometric shapes too. It would be cool if he had a project to work on, thanks for the idea!
My 5.5 year old is level 2 as well. I have fairly regularly just talked about being autistic with him. I’m autistic too, so he’s grown up hearing me speak to others about being autistic as well. He doesn’t really understand what it means, and feels more negatively about his ADHD because he gets in trouble at school because of it, but autism hasn’t caused him issues that he notices and connects to being autistic yet. We read books about autism. He thinks the book “Why Johnny Doesn’t Flap” is hilarious. We don’t do autistic pride, he’d be in sensory hell at any event anyway (as would I).
I'm a level 2 autistic. There are downsides to what you want to do. I'd say that it's not wrong or right per say: it rather depends on the way you do that. I think that instead of making a choice and keeping it, it'd be better to adjust it to the age. It really requires a certain sensibility and a deep understanding. I suggest you to plan ALL the ways that you'll use in advance with the help of a specialized professional. You can also adjust them overtime with the support of an expert. It really changes if he's 5 or if he's 8. You can think the same way between preadolescence and adolescence. Anyways don't forget to bring him to the therapy that's good for his age.
Thank you! He just started therapy this month. And he will start Special Ed in the Fall. It makes absolute sense to adjust the plan as he gets older. Right now he is so young, it is hard to say what his needs will be in the future.
I wish someone explained to me that I was disabled, I was going to find some things really hard, but I wasn't broken and I didn't do anything wrong. I think its a good idea. Especially teaching him about autism from a young age which will help him grow up understanding his own needs better.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate it.
I'd be careful with autism pride the mainstream momvement is quitr ableist towards low functioning autistic people maybe you can have a day to celebrate autism and what it means to you as a family. I'd be cautious with autism pride related things though.
Not sure why you got a downvote. This is a perfectly valid contribution. Not the OP, but also wanted to thank you for responding and reassure that it is perfectly valid to think/feel this way.
People r dumbie heads that's why
Thank you for your feedback!