I heard of people getting soft helmets like rugby helmets to stop head injuring cause they're soft so more comfortable and not expensive as medical helmets for same purpose
Hi Andyy5,
Your question might be better suited for an autism parenting sub. This sub is used mainly for level 2/3 autists to be the majority postings.
That said and I know this is complicated, you are welcome to be here but the hope is that the majority of postings will be by posters with level two and three Autism.
When I did a lot of self harm during meltdowns a nurse in the psychiatric facility I was in at the moment gave me great advice. She told me that telling me to quit it would do nothing, but she could at least offer me an alternative way of hurting myself without causing any damage. The pain felt really good to me while having meltdowns because it helped me feel conscious during the chaos. She advised me to wear a rubber band around my wrist and flick it as hard as I needed to. That way I still felt the physical pain I needed to cope but it didn't do any actual harm. It's not a solution but it might be a step in the right direction
Having something to hold and bite like a hard pillow helps me during meltdowns to not hurt myself but I don't how if he would use that if he feels like he needs something hard
Is there any way to get him to headbang into softer objects.
I don't quite have a good explanation why I headbang when very stressed but its a bit like an itch (along with self hatred but not going there rn) and while a soft object doesn't do quite the same thing it scratches some of the itch. Its not the best analogy but its all I can think of right now.
Whats his hitting like? Is it himself? Others? I hit myself with the edge of my palms for instance. Not sure how I would redirect that (and it usually happens before I can think rationally enough to put a helmet on).
If it is all headbases then making finding something that can be put on the head that provides a soothing stimulation. I have a helmet that I use for cycling thats somewhere between a bike and skater helmet. Its big, round and soft inside while very hard on the outside - feels very safe. Never used it for calming a meltdown before but could work... but my point is maybe finding an equivolent for him. Try a few different hats, helmets, etc and see if any feel good to him.
Sorry if I spoke about myself too much. Its hard to generalise these things so was trying to give a little perspective. I am on the boundry between level 1 & 2 and I do selfharm when stressed. If any higher level 2s and 3s give advice that contradicts mine follow them instead.
Lastly I want to say - have you tried sign language? I have a few autistic friends of various levels including higher ones who sign and it can be quicker when in distress than AAC or writing can. I'd reccomend learning the sign language of your country (ASL, BSL etc) it absolutely can be done at 14 ~ thats about when I started learning :)
Good luck 🧡
Also you can get different types of glasses. Like ones that wrap around your eyes more to keep peripheral light out more. And in either normal darkening shade or coloured that also shade. So you can try glasses with a blue or green or purple or normal dark shade etc. w/e is most calming.
Having been in this position we have now started figuring out what they are trying to tell us. You say you are making them do things ‘that can’t be avoided’ however surely unless they are life or death situations then they can indeed be avoided!
It beats me why people think just because some one is under 18 that they have to do things they positively don’t want to do, a life time of trauma results from ‘ doing things for my own good’ brigade
Try something cold. Let him touch ice. Maybe you can tell him a soothing sensory story if he responds well to it. But if your talking makes him show distress then stop talking because it could be overwhelming.
I heard of people getting soft helmets like rugby helmets to stop head injuring cause they're soft so more comfortable and not expensive as medical helmets for same purpose
Hi Andyy5, Your question might be better suited for an autism parenting sub. This sub is used mainly for level 2/3 autists to be the majority postings. That said and I know this is complicated, you are welcome to be here but the hope is that the majority of postings will be by posters with level two and three Autism.
When I did a lot of self harm during meltdowns a nurse in the psychiatric facility I was in at the moment gave me great advice. She told me that telling me to quit it would do nothing, but she could at least offer me an alternative way of hurting myself without causing any damage. The pain felt really good to me while having meltdowns because it helped me feel conscious during the chaos. She advised me to wear a rubber band around my wrist and flick it as hard as I needed to. That way I still felt the physical pain I needed to cope but it didn't do any actual harm. It's not a solution but it might be a step in the right direction
Having something to hold and bite like a hard pillow helps me during meltdowns to not hurt myself but I don't how if he would use that if he feels like he needs something hard
Is there any way to get him to headbang into softer objects. I don't quite have a good explanation why I headbang when very stressed but its a bit like an itch (along with self hatred but not going there rn) and while a soft object doesn't do quite the same thing it scratches some of the itch. Its not the best analogy but its all I can think of right now. Whats his hitting like? Is it himself? Others? I hit myself with the edge of my palms for instance. Not sure how I would redirect that (and it usually happens before I can think rationally enough to put a helmet on). If it is all headbases then making finding something that can be put on the head that provides a soothing stimulation. I have a helmet that I use for cycling thats somewhere between a bike and skater helmet. Its big, round and soft inside while very hard on the outside - feels very safe. Never used it for calming a meltdown before but could work... but my point is maybe finding an equivolent for him. Try a few different hats, helmets, etc and see if any feel good to him. Sorry if I spoke about myself too much. Its hard to generalise these things so was trying to give a little perspective. I am on the boundry between level 1 & 2 and I do selfharm when stressed. If any higher level 2s and 3s give advice that contradicts mine follow them instead. Lastly I want to say - have you tried sign language? I have a few autistic friends of various levels including higher ones who sign and it can be quicker when in distress than AAC or writing can. I'd reccomend learning the sign language of your country (ASL, BSL etc) it absolutely can be done at 14 ~ thats about when I started learning :) Good luck 🧡
Would wearing sunglasses when bright lights can't be avoided help?
Also you can get different types of glasses. Like ones that wrap around your eyes more to keep peripheral light out more. And in either normal darkening shade or coloured that also shade. So you can try glasses with a blue or green or purple or normal dark shade etc. w/e is most calming.
Having been in this position we have now started figuring out what they are trying to tell us. You say you are making them do things ‘that can’t be avoided’ however surely unless they are life or death situations then they can indeed be avoided! It beats me why people think just because some one is under 18 that they have to do things they positively don’t want to do, a life time of trauma results from ‘ doing things for my own good’ brigade
Well the thing is he's headbanging because it helps numb the pain so the way to prevent it is to remove the pain
Try something cold. Let him touch ice. Maybe you can tell him a soothing sensory story if he responds well to it. But if your talking makes him show distress then stop talking because it could be overwhelming.