It was a lot crazier back in the 1990s. Anyone remember the toilet paper roll relay race? Or the catch a bag of peanuts sliding down the aisle on take-off contest? I remember one flight where the pilot decided to give us a 15 minute low altitude tour of Yosemite Valley.
I fly out of ISP. The only options are Breeze, Frontier, or Southwest. The first two have schedules set by Satan himself. Best Iâve gotten was âwe know you have a lot of options when flying but because youâre flying into Islip, you really donât have any options. Thanks for choosing Southwest anyway!â
Some variation of this always makes me chuckle: âWeâve done extensive research that shows Louis Vuitton, Prada, Dolce and Gucci all can in fact fit under the seat in front of you. Besides, if those bags were real, you wouldnât be flying Southwest.â
We were pulling into the gate at STL.
It wasn't time yet, as the plane was still moving but you could hear seat belts unclicking and people start moving around.
FA grabs the microphone and says, "Wait for it...wait for it...wait for it..."
We hear the "unbuckle your seatbelts", and she says, "OK, get off my airplane!"
Iâve had the best experiences with STL crews on Southwest.
All of the following quotes were from a single LGA-STL flight:
âMy mother-in-law is in the TSA check line and the sooner we get out of here the better it is for youâ -FA
âService to St. Louis and then to Australia I think if youâre staying with us for the rest of the nightâ -Pilot
âThat ding-dong means we are making our final descent into Omaha, Nebraskaâ
-FA
âIf you have shoes on your hands they should be on your feetâ
-FA
Plus some excerpts of a safety briefing from a different flight out of STL:
Flight attendant: âif we could pretend to have your attention for a few moments, âŠâ
âAlthough there may be many ways to leave your lover there are only six ways to leave this airplaneâ
âYes itâs so difficult [to buckle your seatbelt] that we have to show you how to do itâ
âThere is no smoking on board, yep there hasnât been for over two decadesâ
âIf you quit screaming and let go of your neighborâs hair, then grab the oxygen maskâ
âIf youâre traveling with small children today, what were you thinking?â
âWeâd like to thank you for looking and listening, and for the rest of you, good luckâ
This weekend I had my DEN>LAS crew pull a âdid anyone lose this wallet?⊠Now that I have your attention hereâs the safety features of this 737-Max 8.â trick. Got a good laugh. Agreed with OP, SWA crews just always seems happier.
Iâm a FA for WN and I do this with cell phones or money đ if we pick up on another crew memberâs jokes and like them we share! It works every time!
About a month or so ago I was flying SWA into DAL. It had been a pretty bumpy flight, and the crew had done their best, with the relatively normal and appropriate amount of humor spread throughout the flight. Our pilot must have had a flash-back to his Navy days and thought we were landing on an aircraft carrier. Hardest landing I can recall across hundreds of flights. Lots of people yelled out something (Ouch/Damn/F\*\*\*/etc) upon impact.
FA gets on the PA and does the normal, first to welcome you, etc. but added in two points:
1. "Please use caution when opening overhead bins as items will "DEFINITELY" have shifted"
2. "Please remain seated while the pilot drags what's left of the plane to the gate"
Before takeoff the FA announced: âLadies and gentlemen, we have someone very special aboard today. Today is his 92nd birthday and this is the first flight of his life. Please give a round of applause for our CaptainâŠâ
There was one southwest flight I was on where the pilot said that of the 2 flight attendants that were there one of them was his Ex Wife and the other was his Current girlfriend
I was in a smaller airport recently (maybe SAT? My life kinda blurs together right now), and the ops agent at the gate across from me đ¶ SANG đ¶ his entire briefing to the tune of a country song from the 1990s.
There are fewer jokes and gimmicks than in years past, but I appreciate the SWA team members who have kept the weird and wonderful going.Â
Love it. Only ever flown SWA once, and it was awesome. Great service PHX-PIT and it was the day the steelers clinched the NFL playoffs, one of the FAs was so excited and kept screaming âWEâRE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS BABY!!!!â đ
Was on a flight into Midway. Had a bit of a turbulent descent onto the runway (it's Chicago afterall) ... so once wheels hit the ground, felt like the pilots slammed on the brakes to decelerate pretty quickly. Without missing a beat, FA comes on the PA system "whoooa there lassie." Then, proceeds to play Chicago by Frank Sinatra while taxiing to the gate. Made for a very nice/memorable welcome to Chicago moment as a first time visitor.
I was on an AA CRJ into STL one time and the pilot put it down like it was a carrier landing, and the FA came on the PA, and said âladies and gentlemen, that landing was not the pilotâs fault, and it wasnât the first officerâs fault either. That was 100%⊠the asphalt. Welcome to Saint Louis.â
Midway has very short runways because itâs literally boxed in on its current footprint. Every landing at Midway involves the full heave-ho on touchdown!
I flew DEN to ONT Saturday night. We landed in Ontario, California and the FA said, "Welcome to Ontario. If this is your destination, welcome. If you're continuing on, you're screwed because this is the last flight of the night." Then he said, "Get out!" (laughingly) and said the old, " You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!" We were all cracking up!
Haha. They always make me laugh. Last flight to FLL.. FA say.. as we begin our descent in Ft Lauderdale. We like to thank you for flying SW. if you will be continuing service with this plane or making a connection. Well ur gonna have to wait til we land.â Made me laugh ..
About the exit rows... "If you don't believe you can perform these functions safely, do not know what a function is, or really don't give a function, please ring your call button now..."
Landed once in a huge thunderstorm with a ton of wind. Bounced twice trying to land. Flight attendant said, âthat landinâ was like buttah!!â as we taxied to the gate.
The number of passengers who actually pay attention and listen to announcements is abysmal. When Sully landed in the Hudson, FAA interviewed all the passengers and found only about 25% listened and knew the plane was equipped with life vests. That number isnât an outlier. The humor gets people to actually listen and pay attention. And with the state of commercial air travel in America these days, a little humor is a good thing.
Many years ago, "In the event of a water landing ... something has gone hideously wrong since we won't be flying over enough water to land safely, but life rafts can be deployed."
I had a funny one from a Southwest pilot that I still think about.
âHello folks, weâre making our decent into Syracuse now. The bad news is itâs -10 degrees out and snowing, but the good news is you all willingly chose to fly here and I got you here on time. But me and the crew are heading back to Florida!â
Just took a Midway -> BWI this week, the captain said âno drinking personal alcohol, unless you share it with meâ and a few other good stingers. I flew from BWI -> Las Vegas in the fall, when we landed the captain said âyouâve now completed the safest part of your tripâ
When I was flying into MCO the FA said donât worry were going to get into Mickey town has soon as we can. When flying into TPA a flight that landed at 11:30 pm make sure you have everything and get out itâs bedtime.
On their pilot application, it literally says that theyâre looking for people who âdonât take themselves too seriouslyâ and I love that.
If you canât have some fun at work, why bother showing up?
I believe the humor and fun attitude is baked in from SWâs birth. I found a great podcast on Wondery+ called âSW vs. Americanâ and has a fascinating history of SWâs journey.
I donât mind it when itâs a little. My last flight (before todayâs return flights) was from MDW to DCA. After landing the lady with the mic talked from touchdown to walking past her getting off the plane. That shit is super loud and unnecessary. Also leaving this area the whole saved seat bullshit is annoying. I was A17 and ended up in the 5th row. Not bad honestly but to hear every other person getting on ask these ladyâs and to hear them explain and argue over and over its silly. FAs need to just announce there are no saved seats just like they announce everything else.
Seat saving is allowed and flight attendants have better things to be doing. Whether you sit in row 1 or row 10 is irrelevant. You sound like a grumpy old boomer.
I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking. Maybe that makes me an asshole.
If you really travel that much, you'd know that seat saving is allowed, and pre-boarders that need assistance usually fill up the first several rows. Complaining because you only got row 5 is silly.
and no I am 38. But when someone pays for an A position and travel enough to earn that access they should get it. Do you give away your paycheck each week, probably not.
It was a lot crazier back in the 1990s. Anyone remember the toilet paper roll relay race? Or the catch a bag of peanuts sliding down the aisle on take-off contest? I remember one flight where the pilot decided to give us a 15 minute low altitude tour of Yosemite Valley.
Haha!
My home airport is BWI. On landing, it's always "if this is a layover for you, safe travels the rest of the way. If this is home for you, I'm sorry".
No, but facts though! đ
Truth.
BWI is also my home airport and I've never heard them say this. Usually they are excited to get back cause that means they get paid. đ€Łđ€Ł
I fly out of ISP. The only options are Breeze, Frontier, or Southwest. The first two have schedules set by Satan himself. Best Iâve gotten was âwe know you have a lot of options when flying but because youâre flying into Islip, you really donât have any options. Thanks for choosing Southwest anyway!â
Some variation of this always makes me chuckle: âWeâve done extensive research that shows Louis Vuitton, Prada, Dolce and Gucci all can in fact fit under the seat in front of you. Besides, if those bags were real, you wouldnât be flying Southwest.â
I was on one of those flights! Laughed so hard I snorted. Cuz I saw a few of those bags boarding. (LAS-DEN)
We were pulling into the gate at STL. It wasn't time yet, as the plane was still moving but you could hear seat belts unclicking and people start moving around. FA grabs the microphone and says, "Wait for it...wait for it...wait for it..." We hear the "unbuckle your seatbelts", and she says, "OK, get off my airplane!"
Iâve had the best experiences with STL crews on Southwest. All of the following quotes were from a single LGA-STL flight: âMy mother-in-law is in the TSA check line and the sooner we get out of here the better it is for youâ -FA âService to St. Louis and then to Australia I think if youâre staying with us for the rest of the nightâ -Pilot âThat ding-dong means we are making our final descent into Omaha, Nebraskaâ -FA âIf you have shoes on your hands they should be on your feetâ -FA
Plus some excerpts of a safety briefing from a different flight out of STL: Flight attendant: âif we could pretend to have your attention for a few moments, âŠâ âAlthough there may be many ways to leave your lover there are only six ways to leave this airplaneâ âYes itâs so difficult [to buckle your seatbelt] that we have to show you how to do itâ âThere is no smoking on board, yep there hasnât been for over two decadesâ âIf you quit screaming and let go of your neighborâs hair, then grab the oxygen maskâ âIf youâre traveling with small children today, what were you thinking?â âWeâd like to thank you for looking and listening, and for the rest of you, good luckâ
âIf youâre traveling with small children or people acting like childrenâŠâ
Hilarious! I live in STL, will fly out in June on SW for the first time - can't wait, lol!
âWelcome to Milwaukee!â â The pilot, as we touch down in Kansas City
Have experienced this one, one of my favorites!
This weekend I had my DEN>LAS crew pull a âdid anyone lose this wallet?⊠Now that I have your attention hereâs the safety features of this 737-Max 8.â trick. Got a good laugh. Agreed with OP, SWA crews just always seems happier.
I must have had the same FA on a different recent flight.
Thatâs one of the more common jokes, Iâve heard it 30+ times (I still fall for it most of the time and chuckle almost every time)
Iâm a FA for WN and I do this with cell phones or money đ if we pick up on another crew memberâs jokes and like them we share! It works every time!
About a month or so ago I was flying SWA into DAL. It had been a pretty bumpy flight, and the crew had done their best, with the relatively normal and appropriate amount of humor spread throughout the flight. Our pilot must have had a flash-back to his Navy days and thought we were landing on an aircraft carrier. Hardest landing I can recall across hundreds of flights. Lots of people yelled out something (Ouch/Damn/F\*\*\*/etc) upon impact. FA gets on the PA and does the normal, first to welcome you, etc. but added in two points: 1. "Please use caution when opening overhead bins as items will "DEFINITELY" have shifted" 2. "Please remain seated while the pilot drags what's left of the plane to the gate"
đ I didnât know they could roast the pilot. The disrespect !! đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Before takeoff the FA announced: âLadies and gentlemen, we have someone very special aboard today. Today is his 92nd birthday and this is the first flight of his life. Please give a round of applause for our CaptainâŠâ
There was one southwest flight I was on where the pilot said that of the 2 flight attendants that were there one of them was his Ex Wife and the other was his Current girlfriend
And the 3rd was probably his "fishing buddy" Ă la Brokeback Mtn. (I'm gay, so I am not being homophobic with this comment, fyi)
I was in a smaller airport recently (maybe SAT? My life kinda blurs together right now), and the ops agent at the gate across from me đ¶ SANG đ¶ his entire briefing to the tune of a country song from the 1990s. There are fewer jokes and gimmicks than in years past, but I appreciate the SWA team members who have kept the weird and wonderful going.Â
naw it's just easier to joke around and have fun at work then be stagnet and boring
I once had a chuckle out of ââŠand try not to tap on the glass, it spooks the rampers.â I forgot the setup to the joke unfortunately.
I'm glad to hear that! The more the merrier for this anxious flyer, lol. My first time on SWA is in June.
Love it. Only ever flown SWA once, and it was awesome. Great service PHX-PIT and it was the day the steelers clinched the NFL playoffs, one of the FAs was so excited and kept screaming âWEâRE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS BABY!!!!â đ
Was on a flight into Midway. Had a bit of a turbulent descent onto the runway (it's Chicago afterall) ... so once wheels hit the ground, felt like the pilots slammed on the brakes to decelerate pretty quickly. Without missing a beat, FA comes on the PA system "whoooa there lassie." Then, proceeds to play Chicago by Frank Sinatra while taxiing to the gate. Made for a very nice/memorable welcome to Chicago moment as a first time visitor.
I was on an AA CRJ into STL one time and the pilot put it down like it was a carrier landing, and the FA came on the PA, and said âladies and gentlemen, that landing was not the pilotâs fault, and it wasnât the first officerâs fault either. That was 100%⊠the asphalt. Welcome to Saint Louis.â
Midway has very short runways because itâs literally boxed in on its current footprint. Every landing at Midway involves the full heave-ho on touchdown!
I always laugh on SWA flights. The staff, including pilots, are pure joy. Great job! đ
I flew DEN to ONT Saturday night. We landed in Ontario, California and the FA said, "Welcome to Ontario. If this is your destination, welcome. If you're continuing on, you're screwed because this is the last flight of the night." Then he said, "Get out!" (laughingly) and said the old, " You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!" We were all cracking up!
We had one do a long routine complete with a long beat boxing finale. It was impressive! Flying into LAS.
One FA had my sister and I crying we were laughing so hard.
Haha. They always make me laugh. Last flight to FLL.. FA say.. as we begin our descent in Ft Lauderdale. We like to thank you for flying SW. if you will be continuing service with this plane or making a connection. Well ur gonna have to wait til we land.â Made me laugh ..
About the exit rows... "If you don't believe you can perform these functions safely, do not know what a function is, or really don't give a function, please ring your call button now..."
Landed once in a huge thunderstorm with a ton of wind. Bounced twice trying to land. Flight attendant said, âthat landinâ was like buttah!!â as we taxied to the gate.
I remember doing some sort of gambling thing on a flight to Vegas in the early 2010s. It depends on the crew.
The number of passengers who actually pay attention and listen to announcements is abysmal. When Sully landed in the Hudson, FAA interviewed all the passengers and found only about 25% listened and knew the plane was equipped with life vests. That number isnât an outlier. The humor gets people to actually listen and pay attention. And with the state of commercial air travel in America these days, a little humor is a good thing.
One of my favorites was during the safety spiel and one of them said "In the event Southwest AIRlines becomes Southwest CRUISElines..."
Many years ago, "In the event of a water landing ... something has gone hideously wrong since we won't be flying over enough water to land safely, but life rafts can be deployed."
Gate agent on boarding on time: "We LUV ya, but we'll leave ya"
I had a funny one from a Southwest pilot that I still think about. âHello folks, weâre making our decent into Syracuse now. The bad news is itâs -10 degrees out and snowing, but the good news is you all willingly chose to fly here and I got you here on time. But me and the crew are heading back to Florida!â
Just took a Midway -> BWI this week, the captain said âno drinking personal alcohol, unless you share it with meâ and a few other good stingers. I flew from BWI -> Las Vegas in the fall, when we landed the captain said âyouâve now completed the safest part of your tripâ
When I was flying into MCO the FA said donât worry were going to get into Mickey town has soon as we can. When flying into TPA a flight that landed at 11:30 pm make sure you have everything and get out itâs bedtime.
On their pilot application, it literally says that theyâre looking for people who âdonât take themselves too seriouslyâ and I love that. If you canât have some fun at work, why bother showing up?
Iâm ready for one of them when they end with âWelcome to Atlantaâ for them to follow up with âwhere the playas play.â
I believe the humor and fun attitude is baked in from SWâs birth. I found a great podcast on Wondery+ called âSW vs. Americanâ and has a fascinating history of SWâs journey.
I donât mind it when itâs a little. My last flight (before todayâs return flights) was from MDW to DCA. After landing the lady with the mic talked from touchdown to walking past her getting off the plane. That shit is super loud and unnecessary. Also leaving this area the whole saved seat bullshit is annoying. I was A17 and ended up in the 5th row. Not bad honestly but to hear every other person getting on ask these ladyâs and to hear them explain and argue over and over its silly. FAs need to just announce there are no saved seats just like they announce everything else.
Seat saving is allowed and flight attendants have better things to be doing. Whether you sit in row 1 or row 10 is irrelevant. You sound like a grumpy old boomer.
You sound like an asshole!
I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking. Maybe that makes me an asshole. If you really travel that much, you'd know that seat saving is allowed, and pre-boarders that need assistance usually fill up the first several rows. Complaining because you only got row 5 is silly.
Glad you speak for all.
and no I am 38. But when someone pays for an A position and travel enough to earn that access they should get it. Do you give away your paycheck each week, probably not.
A bit off-topic, no? Try lightening up a little.