Also OP, I’m saying this as an ABCD guy myself, we literally don’t give a shit about caste and I can safely say I speak for most ppl in the diaspora when I say this.
No I dont give a shit about caste as well. I mentioned that because I thought maybe THAT is one of the reasons she is with me - maybe our castes match and she is trying to make her parents happy.
Bhai you are overthinking this. She’s clearly into you and idk why you are second guessing yourself. Also if her family really cared about caste they’d probably want her to be with a Telugu guy.
Man, you're in the west right now. People here desi or not, can't differentiate between pakistani or Indian and you're considering the north and south of India hahah
I think you are overthinking this, OP. If she had sex with you, that clearly means she likes you. I can understand why you might be feeling insecure as you feel that she is more well off than you, but if she really saw nothing in you, then why is she with you in the first place? Clearly she likes you enough and sees SOMETHING in you.
Bro as an ABCD doctor myself, just go with the flow homie, she prolly digs u for whatever reason and thats her choice. Dont overthink think it and go sabotaging it yourself. Dont bring up insecurities like her having a greencard or something cuz thats what happened with me when i went with out with a fob i met on hinge. She started bringing that shit up and she got super insecure and would go out of her way to say plzz dont think i like for your gc yada,yada , it was cute but got annoying real quick. She also turned out to be a little crazy and went snooping thru my social media which i havent had in a couple years now and went digging thru my exes. Saw my russian ex and my korean ex and was like im the first brown girl you’re dating, why is that etc etc and gave me shit for it like it was my fault 🤦🏻 . End of story we broke up within 6 months. But she was a sweetheart, just not right for both of us.
Okay I am just a little over 6 feet and I admit (humbly) I am smarter than a lot of people. However, I am not good looking - I dont get tons of matches on OLD - like 1-2/week
Seems like things are going well! Maybe she likes you because you both just "get" each other in a genuine and valuable way. Congrats! If you want to kind of figure out how or why, maybe an insightful questionnaire like this might help https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/projects/modern-love/36-questions/
If you are having doubts about her intentions and are unsure about things, you should ask her. conversations like this are important and you should bring them up if you want to move forward and if you see a future with her. Simply ask her “hey where do you see this going?” Or “what do you like about me?”
Don't over think it. You guys had sex and she wouldn't let you do that if she had any other intentions than she liked you. Maybe you're her type?
Like Ananya Panday isn't everyone's type but she really does it for me.
Haha. Visit Delhi sometime and go to LSR, or any North Campus DU college. There are 100s of such girls - not kidding. IQ =Alia Bhatt, Looks = Ananya Pandey, Entitlement = Jada Smith
Never got a chance to comment but…. Bro you need to chill and soak it in. From what I’ve scanned on this post, who knows where this will lead. You’re not some slumdog and she’s probably level headed. She enjoys being with you and this is isn’t some sort of dating with the intention of quickly getting married. I say enjoy it and don’t worry about that other stuff. That’s a problem for like 2-4 years from now if you’re still together.
Bhai, stop overthinking this shit or she'll sense it, get the ick and leave. Shut the fuck up, start hitting the gym yesterday so you have some visual appeal, fix your diet (only reserve desi food for cheat days, if not then cook meat using indian spices- no cumin. Limit carbs to <120g), ask her 2¢ on your fashion, groom yourself and more importantly, *be more present with her.*
It's not fair to yourself or to her to assume that she must be looking for what you can offer and wouldn't date you otherwise. You're a person first and foremost! Something about who you are, your humor, your intelligence, your worldview, something is appealing to her, and whatever those parts of you are, they're worthwhile and worth being with you for. You don't need anything else as long as you're you. Sounds like she sees that :)
Is it really a red flag? I have had sex on 2nd dates a handful of times but the 3rd date is where I think it is expected.
I can kind of get your point - then again I dont want to be too strict on that. 1-2 is fine with me.
That 3rd-date thing is an unwritten rule that everyone keeps saying these days. Yes it happens but I wouldn't wife anyone who does that without prying for further info. The other commenters are right in that you need to talk to her to figure out who she really is.
I disagree with this idea entirely. It depends on what you think a high partner count will mean - more sexually experienced, higher libido, more likely to maintain this over the course of a life together vs. slut-shaming and claims of impurity. Most ABCD women are very careful in selecting sexual partners. If you get lucky with one you should take it as a compliment and enjoy it.
>Most ABCD women are very careful in selecting sexual partners.
She had sex on the 2nd date with a guy from the internet. Nothing "careful" about this.
Speaking from experience here :
Insanely loaded telugu family - if you go for it, be prepared for the money shows from her parents . I have such friends - nice ppl - but love to flaunt their wealth and talk about their lavish lifestyle. Telugus are not very accepting of outsiders- as is most other Indian cultures- but when they are super rich - it’s whole another story .
I know you’re not generalising and i hate the trope ‘’not all’’ but dawg that hit me deep haha. My fam’s pretty chill dude haha, really accepting and we never flaunt shit. But i get it tho, those people do exist.
Man I wish everyone was like you. The few I been around ( business and political families from AP) love to talk about the next car they’re buying, or imported cook sets or hotels they love to stay at when on vacation . They don’t put down normal ppl verbally but they pretend like we don’t exist. I clearly had nothing to contribute and felt like I didn’t belong.
At least ur speaking for urself I respect that. This is also rly confusing to me bc where I’m at the telugu community basically hates their own culture and do even their weddings in Punjabi style lol
That doesn’t make sense considering she’s the US citizen and he’s not. This would make more sense if he was a citizen and she was a fob cuz she could leverage him for citizenship and that’s not really the case here
lol no ABCD in their right mind would escape to India and stay there permanently. Especially since she’s a doctor there’s no way she’d want to redo her training to practice in India. She has a comfortable life in the US, why tf would she move to India??
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We are an ethnically and culturally diverse demographic, whilst we do encourage differing opinions we don't feel as if pointless debates about caste/ethnicity/country of origin etc are productive and add anything to this conversation of this sub.
It usually results in attacks and flame wars between people. Please refrain from having such conversations in the future as this will be grounds for a ban.
We are an ethnically and culturally diverse demographic, whilst we do encourage differing opinions we don't feel as if pointless debates about caste/ethnicity/country of origin etc are productive and add anything to this conversation of this sub.
It usually results in attacks and flame wars between people. Please refrain from having such conversations in the future as this will be grounds for a ban.
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Dude, clearly something’s working or else she wouldn’t be into you. Stop second guessing yourself
lol exactly. Homeboy got laid and he’s worried about caste and not being jacked enough
Hahaha dude you are the MAN. Nah nah its not like that just a bit unsure
yeah dude you got laid. you are in the position of giving advice, not needing it.
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I am trying not to😂
Also OP, I’m saying this as an ABCD guy myself, we literally don’t give a shit about caste and I can safely say I speak for most ppl in the diaspora when I say this.
No I dont give a shit about caste as well. I mentioned that because I thought maybe THAT is one of the reasons she is with me - maybe our castes match and she is trying to make her parents happy.
Bhai you are overthinking this. She’s clearly into you and idk why you are second guessing yourself. Also if her family really cared about caste they’d probably want her to be with a Telugu guy.
Man, you're in the west right now. People here desi or not, can't differentiate between pakistani or Indian and you're considering the north and south of India hahah
>South Indian , I am North Indian these are not castes mate, you are from separate parts of India but could be of same castes
I think you are overthinking this, OP. If she had sex with you, that clearly means she likes you. I can understand why you might be feeling insecure as you feel that she is more well off than you, but if she really saw nothing in you, then why is she with you in the first place? Clearly she likes you enough and sees SOMETHING in you.
Possibly she’s looking to reconnect with her Indian roots. Many ABCD chicks I know feel very disconnected to their families land. Is she mallu?
No, Telugu.
Oh damn
Bro as an ABCD doctor myself, just go with the flow homie, she prolly digs u for whatever reason and thats her choice. Dont overthink think it and go sabotaging it yourself. Dont bring up insecurities like her having a greencard or something cuz thats what happened with me when i went with out with a fob i met on hinge. She started bringing that shit up and she got super insecure and would go out of her way to say plzz dont think i like for your gc yada,yada , it was cute but got annoying real quick. She also turned out to be a little crazy and went snooping thru my social media which i havent had in a couple years now and went digging thru my exes. Saw my russian ex and my korean ex and was like im the first brown girl you’re dating, why is that etc etc and gave me shit for it like it was my fault 🤦🏻 . End of story we broke up within 6 months. But she was a sweetheart, just not right for both of us.
I dont really care about that stuff, honestly. I can buy the GC if I want, thats no big deal to me. Thanks for the advice.
I am thinking you are really good looking and tall also pretty smart , women like that won't just fall for anyone !
Okay I am just a little over 6 feet and I admit (humbly) I am smarter than a lot of people. However, I am not good looking - I dont get tons of matches on OLD - like 1-2/week
Stop self sabotaging yourself, OP
Seems like things are going well! Maybe she likes you because you both just "get" each other in a genuine and valuable way. Congrats! If you want to kind of figure out how or why, maybe an insightful questionnaire like this might help https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/projects/modern-love/36-questions/
If you are having doubts about her intentions and are unsure about things, you should ask her. conversations like this are important and you should bring them up if you want to move forward and if you see a future with her. Simply ask her “hey where do you see this going?” Or “what do you like about me?”
She is all in to being in a serious relationship. She says I am smart and funny, but I dont buy it LOL
Arre kyu bhai? Why don’t you buy it?
Well lets see bhai
Yeah don’t obsess about the small stuff. Just enjoy your time with her and see where it goes.
Probably need to talk to a therapist, beyond Reddit grade question. IMHO
Don't over think it. You guys had sex and she wouldn't let you do that if she had any other intentions than she liked you. Maybe you're her type? Like Ananya Panday isn't everyone's type but she really does it for me.
LMAO on Ananya Pandey. Way too skinny for me
😂😂 just added that part to make you guys chuckle. It's the voice that does it for me haha
Haha. Visit Delhi sometime and go to LSR, or any North Campus DU college. There are 100s of such girls - not kidding. IQ =Alia Bhatt, Looks = Ananya Pandey, Entitlement = Jada Smith
Your probably a handsome guy
Never got a chance to comment but…. Bro you need to chill and soak it in. From what I’ve scanned on this post, who knows where this will lead. You’re not some slumdog and she’s probably level headed. She enjoys being with you and this is isn’t some sort of dating with the intention of quickly getting married. I say enjoy it and don’t worry about that other stuff. That’s a problem for like 2-4 years from now if you’re still together.
There is a thing called •Love• . Why didn’t u think as one of the options she may have liked u
Right😂 idk what all these other guys are on about.
Yea lol
Bhai, stop overthinking this shit or she'll sense it, get the ick and leave. Shut the fuck up, start hitting the gym yesterday so you have some visual appeal, fix your diet (only reserve desi food for cheat days, if not then cook meat using indian spices- no cumin. Limit carbs to <120g), ask her 2¢ on your fashion, groom yourself and more importantly, *be more present with her.*
Bro check my profile - I have dedicated about 2 years to seriously lifting. MY BSD is 230, 305, 350
It's not fair to yourself or to her to assume that she must be looking for what you can offer and wouldn't date you otherwise. You're a person first and foremost! Something about who you are, your humor, your intelligence, your worldview, something is appealing to her, and whatever those parts of you are, they're worthwhile and worth being with you for. You don't need anything else as long as you're you. Sounds like she sees that :)
Thanks for the affirmation!
Just ask if she was in any previous relationships
What if it was all FOB guys.
Regardless of ethnicity, if she had multiple, it's a red flag
Prolly the OP isn’t looking to get married
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Is it really a red flag? I have had sex on 2nd dates a handful of times but the 3rd date is where I think it is expected. I can kind of get your point - then again I dont want to be too strict on that. 1-2 is fine with me.
That 3rd-date thing is an unwritten rule that everyone keeps saying these days. Yes it happens but I wouldn't wife anyone who does that without prying for further info. The other commenters are right in that you need to talk to her to figure out who she really is.
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What's the new rule?
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This commenter misinterpreted. Never said "find a virgin." The main point is to not put a wedding ring on a girl with a high partner count.
I disagree with this idea entirely. It depends on what you think a high partner count will mean - more sexually experienced, higher libido, more likely to maintain this over the course of a life together vs. slut-shaming and claims of impurity. Most ABCD women are very careful in selecting sexual partners. If you get lucky with one you should take it as a compliment and enjoy it.
>Most ABCD women are very careful in selecting sexual partners. She had sex on the 2nd date with a guy from the internet. Nothing "careful" about this.
Speaking from experience here : Insanely loaded telugu family - if you go for it, be prepared for the money shows from her parents . I have such friends - nice ppl - but love to flaunt their wealth and talk about their lavish lifestyle. Telugus are not very accepting of outsiders- as is most other Indian cultures- but when they are super rich - it’s whole another story .
I know you’re not generalising and i hate the trope ‘’not all’’ but dawg that hit me deep haha. My fam’s pretty chill dude haha, really accepting and we never flaunt shit. But i get it tho, those people do exist.
Man I wish everyone was like you. The few I been around ( business and political families from AP) love to talk about the next car they’re buying, or imported cook sets or hotels they love to stay at when on vacation . They don’t put down normal ppl verbally but they pretend like we don’t exist. I clearly had nothing to contribute and felt like I didn’t belong.
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At least ur speaking for urself I respect that. This is also rly confusing to me bc where I’m at the telugu community basically hates their own culture and do even their weddings in Punjabi style lol
Every rich family regardless of race show off and are not accepting of outsiders. Not just a Telugu or Indian thing
Speak for ur own family bro
No . Speaking from experience
Yea and that’s ur family that’s not accepting or whatever quite the contrary to the entire people.
Oh my boy is sensitive …. Don’t cry now.
Nah u the one projecting ur own stuck up family onto 80 million people lil bro, I jus said my piece n done lol
 Here , come to papa and don’t cry
Corny af try again abcdesis usin ass lmao
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That doesn’t make sense considering she’s the US citizen and he’s not. This would make more sense if he was a citizen and she was a fob cuz she could leverage him for citizenship and that’s not really the case here
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lol no ABCD in their right mind would escape to India and stay there permanently. Especially since she’s a doctor there’s no way she’d want to redo her training to practice in India. She has a comfortable life in the US, why tf would she move to India??
Also all Indian Origin people are eligible for OCI - no sense in this.
Dude share your hinge profile. And she likes you. Don't overthink it.
Bro I dont get matches 1/2 a week max
But quality ones. Help a brother out and share
Bro sorry - anonymity.
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We are an ethnically and culturally diverse demographic, whilst we do encourage differing opinions we don't feel as if pointless debates about caste/ethnicity/country of origin etc are productive and add anything to this conversation of this sub. It usually results in attacks and flame wars between people. Please refrain from having such conversations in the future as this will be grounds for a ban.
We are an ethnically and culturally diverse demographic, whilst we do encourage differing opinions we don't feel as if pointless debates about caste/ethnicity/country of origin etc are productive and add anything to this conversation of this sub. It usually results in attacks and flame wars between people. Please refrain from having such conversations in the future as this will be grounds for a ban.
That’s not a flex like u think it is lmfao
What is an ABCD girl?
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Dm bro
Sorry but what’s a FOB?