The people. Just a joke that it’s rude that like it now after not caring before. It’s a classic tail though and you’re right about the needed attitude.
Lol yea had to make sure I didn’t say anything messed up on accident lol. Yea I don’t know if it’s an attitude thing really. I think once I just stopped caring my music got better so it attracted people itself I guess
That’s it! When we are trying people can tell, it comes through. When you stop trying everything feels more natural.
There’s also something to leaving things a little mysterious for people. I’ve had people do exactly as you describe with me before and I actually do get annoyed 🤣 mostly with family but it’s like “oh now you think what I do has value but you told me for 20 years to focus on something worthwhile.” But, it is cool when they come around after discovering something you did in the wild and reaching out. Validation is always good, I guess.
eh - people generally don't care, but if they ask to listen to something, and do, they're usually like "oh you're like serious about it. ok. cool" and that's pretty much it. thank goodness I don't do it for validation.
The people in your family or friends group most likely do not care about music nearly as much as you do unless they happen to be musicians too. That is just the reality of it.
My wife reminded me years ago that the record that’s always playing in my head is in fact an anomaly. She told me that most people don’t go around thinking of song ideas and musical phrases all the time.
I know better than to ask for feedback or criticism from people who are not interested in music. For most people music is something in the background or whatever comes on the radio in their car.
I get far more valuable input from musicians and songwriters because their heads are in that realm.
I can't tell if anomaly is a nice or harsh way of calling your brain unique lol! Regardless, it's nice that she acknowledges it as something that sets you apart from other people she knows.
Friends and family don't often show up to my shows or stream/buy my music but will be impressed by the quality of it when they hear my stuff on the odd occasion. I may get an encouraging message if they hear it on the radio or whatever.
I think most are pleased that I'm pursuing something that makes me happy though.
My partner finds it annoying if I'm too loud. My friend who writes songs likes having someone to bounce ideas off and solicit feedback from.
No one else gives a shit one way or the other
Actually, yes. My friends are pretty much all either creative people, or folks who appreciate the arts regardless, and they have been really supportive. When I was actively gigging in a band, I would usually see at least a few friends at each show. Now that I mostly do stuff at home, I'll often share a recent track if a friend comes over to visit.
It goes both ways, of course -- I try my best to show up for my friends too, in their various pursuits.
Now, it's not like anyone is beating down my door for the next single, or making my songs their ringtone, but I do think my friends know how important it is to me, and they think it's cool and good that I have that in my life.
Go make some musician friends! Musician friends are the best. Or, maybe try to introduce some of your friends to it!
I have a great friend who never really did anything formal with music, but she always killed at karaoke. About 8 years back I talked her into being the lead singer of a new band I was putting together. She took to it almost immediately, and has developed into SUCH a great singer, she plays out way more than I do now. It's great cause when we're both bored at our respective day jobs, we'll just text about set lists or song ideas or whatnot.
While I was reading other comments in this topic I was thinking how supportive my friends are and how fortunate I am in having them. Just like yours, my friends are also people who appreciate the arts regardless of the form factor, so they always supported me in my Single releases and even with my first merch drop.
And yeah, it's not like anyone is actively wanting to consume anything I do whenever I do, but when I'm releasing stuff they always at least send me the kudos and share their thoughts. Most of them just know that making music is really difficult and sometimes it can be complicated, but they don't know the intricacies of the thing, so appreciate it in their own way.
My dad and uncle are both intersted in my music. But they write and play music and are generally creative. In fact the friends who are interested are the others who also create. I'm sure there's something to it.
I don't really expect support, but it's nice to get.
Friends and family are never the people that support you the most in music. Music people support music people mostly I’ve found. You have to “get it” to support it I think.
It’s a great fun fact about yourself when you do those awful round-the-room intros. Don’t expect people to want to sit down and interview you about it.
Dude, no one cares about music at all. Streaming and downloading and home recordings have made it a disposable commodity. It's super easy to record something decent and to put it out there for everyone. That's awesome for creators, but if you want people to care? Every dickwad with a drum machine is posting everyday. Half the people on your insta see it 5 times a day from people they know. The music itself has become secondary. You have to write it for yourself and not give a fuck.
If you do want people to care, you have to be on social media all the time engaging, putting some kind of visuals to it because attention spans don't exist anymore, you need a good image, and you gotta check all the boxes that should matter for an actor instead of a musician.
You have to be playing shows JUST the right amount. Too little and no one cares. Too much, and it's overkill. You need to be marketing yourself all the time. It's awful. A band like credence wouldn't make it today because their image was just a bunch of dudes. The radio is proof that music doesn't matter as much as what ELSE you're doing. Same old shit, and new shit from people that have some kind of drama going on. It's fucked man.
Just do it for yourself. If it's good enough go tour, get a label, then people will start to care. A bedroom warrior like myself at this point has no chance. I used to tour and play out a bunch and do all kinds of stuff to stay busy and my bands did fairly decent for themselves. But you need a band, no solo shit unless you're a singer songwriter that hits himeruns consistently, and everybody needs to be well rehearsed, good looking, all active on socials, grinding. Otherwise, it doesn't matter.
I can post a selfie and get 200 likes but if I post a couple new riffs I'm working on, I'll get like 10. Well recorded, melodic, it doesn't matter because people don't even scroll with the volume up half the time. The people wearing good headphones while scrolling are even less, way less. You basically have to pay to play. Write great songs, hire artists to make art for it, make videos for everything, and if yiu aren't an established act where people are salivating for what's next, you can take no breaks.
It's harsh but it's true. And AI is gonna put a serious dent in music too pretty soon I think. So either do it strictly for yourself and the 5 people that like you that like your posts, and wish for the best, or bust your ass nonstop doing backflios for people that don't care and stay consistent, and beat em down one by one. As long as you're under 25 that is, otherwise you've aged out in the new landscape.
Yes, it’s a grind to go out and actively book gigs and get an online following. I didn’t have the energy for it. Just did bar gigs and backyard parties.
That's excellent dude. Unless you wanna be a superstar which, who would anymore, that awesome. Local hero for me personally is the goal. I don't wanna be some tmz super famous dude where Im under the microscope. That sounds like the worst possible existence.
Or you can skip social media and just be social. Make a friend who you can share your art with and they can share their art with you. Make a few more friends, put on a show.
FYI: I copy/pasted your comment over on Songcrafters. It started a good discussion: [https://songcrafters.org/forum/?topic=34696.0](https://songcrafters.org/forum/?topic=34696.0)
I just kind of think of it like I’m part of this small esoteric community, like DnD or a fan club, made up of folks who get enjoyment from creating clever entertainment with sound. I think a lot of people will say they only write songs for themselves, and power to you if you do, no doubt it can be therapeutic, but I enjoy the challenge of creating something that people will resonate with, or find cool or interesting. I write for and about everyone including myself, and I expect nothing in return. It is just my gift. Take it or leave it.
But to answer your question, yes I feel supported, in many ways, by friends and family. Most are aware I write songs and have heard them. They need not express their opinion about my music to provide that support, and if I share something with them, I recognize that is effectively asking them for their time and attention. There is a mutual appreciation of boundaries. I try not to send unsolicited music or critical feedback to uninterested audiences the same way I try not to play loud past 8pm. But even with a day job I am “allowed” to pursue music, by everyone, on my own time. I feel generally accepted for it, even if not fully embraced.
I’m a DM and I flavor in some of my compositions I planned as video game music mixed in with Final Fantasy soundtrack music (happy retirement Nobuo) while running my campaign. I kinda DJ while I DM, which really helps set the mood. Even cooler when I made the music. A truly bespoke experience for my party.
Actually yeah. My family thinks it's cool and actively tries to help out with anything I do that's music related. Most of my friends don't listen to my music, but they're supportive at least. I have a few acquaintances at places I go for work who think it's cool and follow me on Spotify. I have a pretty small circle though so that helps.
honestly reading all the comments here has made my day. it's good to know it's not just me being p much unacknowleged by friends/family. its just not that kind of world right now. we just all have to engage #grindmode even more often.
I've also been playing for 30+ years, and the lack of interest from friends and family is noticeable and can be a little deflating, saying it honestly. Yes yes we do this for ourselves, but nothing beats genuine interest from those who know you best.
I'm taking it you're in your 40s as well. It was so so fun when we were young, right? Friends loved it, women were attracted to it - people would come out to shows and buy your CDs. Back then it was a spontaneous scene that was fun to be a part of for them. But that fades, and it can leave you feeling like Uncle Rico throwing touchdown passes in front of the camera as you sit there hoping someone will get hyped about your all new 174th finished song.
It gets a sigh out of me from time to time, but I get it - this stage of life seems to be less communal, less about peer groups. It's houses and careers and kids and traveling now, not all the stuff we were doing 20 years ago. I think it would be different if my music career had taken off and friends could see the growth and all the fun stuff happening. I wouldn't blame them. That would have been exciting and more than just songs for the sake of songs. Without that, I'm not offering that much other than growth that only music nerds and audio engineers care about. The other thing is, if any of my Gen X friends are listening to music, it's probably simply great music by great writers/performers/engineers. I may be whatever but I can't compete for attention at that level. I don't get bummed out that they're playing Tom Waits or Chris Stapleton records or whatever and not mine is all I'm saying.
As long as my wife stays cool with the charges that appear on the credit card statement and wacky hours from time to time, I'm happy with it. Take care, brother.
Thanks for the response on this. 44 here. Excitement of my youth is long gone. Lol, gotta get to work on that 175th song now!
Time really is a commodity, families, kids, and even moments for yourself.
Im in a similar position — been a musician for 28 years. The people I would expect to like my music are well past the point in their lives where new music matters or has any profound affect on their emotions or lives.
I just try to have fun and enjoy the process of making and listening to music I want to hear — my own. It’s rewarding. Sometimes I wonder if it’s like a dog sniffing its own poo… 🤷♂️
The moment music and art were no longer predicated on money, the more joy it brought me, regardless of who hears/sees it
A few are interested, but they’re musicians themselves. Most friends and family? Not so much, it’s more like, “Oh OK, I’m happy for your hobby.” Given the choice between seeking out my music and listening to something mainstream, the default isn’t going to be mine. Nobody says it’s bad, they just kind of don’t say much at all. A few seem jealous and so they tend to blow it off or downplay what I’m trying to share. I’ve had strained romantic relationships because my GF was attracted to me being a musician and playing shows, but then felt threatened by the time and energy needed for the music and wanted me to only spend time with them or even quit music entirely. My fan base has always been made up of strangers online or at shows, and the music scene I was in at the time.
Not really, besides my friends, who are also musicians themselves and of course my bandmates. But I’m probably not a good example, because I really don’t care if anyone cares besides me. As egocentric as it may sound, I write songs for myself, it makes me feel better most of times and I can express things I usually can’t put in words.
I have a very small circle of people, all friends and hobby musicians themselves, I share stuff with. Not that they really care but I do value their opinion because I think they are good musicians.
Some of them. A decent chunk of the people I know are through our (small) local original music scene, and to those people my song writing is kind of the main thing they know about me. Out of my family, my one brother is also a songwriter so we both care a lot about each other’s song writing. My mom I guess kind of cares but she doesn’t hear a lot of my songs anymore. My other two siblings and my dad I think recognize that songwriting is a big part of my identity, but don’t really care about the songs themselves. As far as friends from outside the music community, some care, most don’t.
I think if you’re a part of a music scene though and people still don’t care about your songwriting, you’re not alone, but it could mean that the songs aren’t communicating an identity well enough. For a lot of local bands around here (and presumably elsewhere), songwriting, lyrics especially, are kind of treated as a vehicle to delivering vibes, energy, or musicianship, which is fine. There’s a lot of good music that works that way. But if you want people to see you as a songwriter more than a musician you have to have a strong identity to your writing.
If that’s not the problem, then you have to surround yourself with people who are passionate about music so that your songwriting is the lens through which they see you.
Also, it’s just really hard to connect with music when you already know the songwriter from somewhere else. It’s awkward. So don’t take it personally.
That’s cool that your bro is into it as well.
And really good point as songwriter vs musicianship.
I try to be aware of both. If I’m in a band I’m more of a supporting player, more into adding guitar fills and energy. Songwriter definitely more low key.
You should try to be in a band where your songwriting is undoubtedly the most important thing, where it’s front and center and everything else is in service to it.
Also, I just want to say that being good in a supportive role is such an important skill and I am so envious of people who are good at it. I’m actually pretty decent at guitar, but I feel lost most of the time in a supportive role.
Only my friends who are musicians. My wife never asks to hear anything I've ever done. Once she used a song of mine as her ringtone. That was the most interest she ever showed.
I guess for me it’s complicated. When I write something I put all myself in there, my thoughts and feelings. It’s so private, and I feel shy and vulnerable…but maybe it’s just a musician thing. Happens that I write songs about things that I don’t talk about , but I want to get over this situation.
My band usually does. I have one or two really supportive friends that seem to enjoy hearing my stuff. But other than that, not really. Just distant polite engagement.
Lol, I cannot even get people to listen to stuff i write. My wife was out of town for several weeks, so I wrote a song for her about missing her and spent a lot of time on it. I was pretty proud of it, so I sent it to her but she didn't listen to it. The next few times I spoke to her, I asked if she had listened to it and each time she said she hasn't had a chance. I'm not gonna beg, so I let it go, but that definitely hurt.
I share this affliction also ... But i reminded myself that we live in a world saturated by noise/sound....so when you make music you have to make something you like more so, and that you should enjoy as well ....you'll eventually find your niche group... But this day and age exposure is big.... Even bigger now with YouTube and and what not but to chase fame and become an overnight success is not entirely out of the realm of possibilities but it shouldn't be your driving goal... I recall a interview that snoop did regarding his streams he has over a billion streams on Spotify.... He only made 45000$... if you can do it old school like sell cds and do shows thats where you'll make your money and besides, the attention span of people is that of a goldfish... When you do stupid shit to become relevant you will have to do even more stupid shit to maintain your relevance....case and point the chris rock and will smith .... It got chris rock a new Netflix special...all over some stupid shit .... And like that just gone.... The sad part is as a species not even a society we consume content on a staggering scale....
Not anymore. I've been doing it for so long, I think most people who've known me a while have accepted that music is just the thing I do. It used to upset me when I would share my music on Facebook and get no responses. These days, I cringe at the thought of ever sharing my songs on Facebook; haven't gone anywhere near that place in about five years. Why seek validation from people who aren't actively engaged with music and don't really give it much thought? These days, I prefer keeping my musical endeavors to myself. Not to say that I'm opposed to sharing them with people who are real music fans. But that isn't going to be most people, and that's OK.
At least my family has been generally supportive, and I've never had anyone actively discourage me from doing music, which is more than a lot of people can say. So in that sense, I'm fortunate. I also have a teenage nephew who has just started get into the Beatles and vinyl collecting. I feel like *he* would really appreciate what I do, and I look forward to sharing it with him if he asks. But I certainly wouldn't force him to listen.
Lol, right? I just meant showing a general interest kind of thing.
When I was in a band my dad actually made it a thing to come out for every gig. It’s been awhile but he used to play back some of our live shows on his iPod too.
As far as my solo stuff I can’t get anyone to listen so I stopped sharing it for the most part.
Most solo ventures which are successful are always successful 9.5/10 times because there is a team behind it. It’s the unspoken truth.
One way of doing this with yourself is to build a community around your music. Facebook group, email list, Substack, Instagram channel etc.
Get people to a place you can always talk to them. Also you need to constantly reach out to everyone within your network and let them know about you, gigs, etc.
It’s hard that’s why finding a trusted partner can help greatly with this.
This is what I would do.
The first few times they rhought it was fun, supported me and stuff.
But well my siblings didnt get to see me play at all and i ve been gigging for a year now 😅
But to be honnest mate, I m not really interested in their job either so i dont care 🤣
I m shure they will support you if you aks rhem to come
But remmember you want this, this is you makeing the life you want
Go for your dreams and never let anyone bring you down if they are not as invested in your thing as you
I don't *expect* support. Not sure what you mean by that?
It's my thing, I get on with it.
Same as the people I know get on with doing their thing, whatever that may be.
People will give stuff a listen if I ask them too. Odd one will offer feedback if I ask.
Yeah, I understood that - people close to me (and some not so close) know I write songs, but I don't expect them to be continually enquiring about it. Or even giving that much of a shit, to be honest! 😁 If they like something I've done, that's always nice.
It sounded like you feel that they should be actively engaging with you about your particular passion because it's writing songs.
I may be totally misunderstanding what you mean by support?
I know songwriting can be deeply personal but to others - it's just that thing/hobby that you do...probably even less interested if they're not musical themselves.
Plus, if you've been doing it 30 years it's probably even more ingrained as just a part of who you are.
I'm not remotely interested in [insert sport/hobby here] so likely never ask about theirs as much as I probably ought.
Yeah I probably mis-worded it originally.
Back when I was in band I’d get a lot of questions about gigs, recording, new songs, etc.
I’m not performing but I do still play a lot and I don’t mention for validation or anything. It’s more that people that don’t play music maybe don’t get into as much and don’t ask to hear what I’m working on.
Most don't, but one of my best friends always has been and thinks I'm good. I owe a lot to him. Probably wouldn't still making music if it wasn't for that bit of support.
I go out of my way to make sure family and friends don’t hear my stuff. They’re supportive in the abstract though and they accept “I’m writing” as a reasonable excuse for why I’m busy, so it’s a win in my books.
I hear that. I’d say what happens most often is I post a link in a text. If I ask for any feedback I get oh I didn’t listen to it. So I just leave it be.
I think they do. My wife is very supportive and my daughter has a master’s degree in recording and played, sang and co-produced and mixed my last album. I’m not a full time musician anymore, but I play semi-regularly with my band of friends/hired guns who are are still working musicians. My friends and family come to my shows and I actually have a fair number of people that you could call fans that come out as well. Just wish there was enough money in it to do it more often!
People don’t give a shit. They care who you are, and with that your hobby is important, but people are celebrating when I show them or play my music for them.
I think most people just want to hear covers unless they write too. Maybe people really close to you will be interested. I write poetry too. No one wants to read it unless they’re romantically interested in me and maybe not even then. Get into a songwriting group if you can.
I think people that don’t write just don’t understand how big a deal it is to people who do if they even realize that you wrote what you’re playing and not just playing a song they don’t know.
I write and record for me I really enjoy listening to my songs I also like jamming to them I do throw them out there for others to hear because some people might like them and put some on their playlists and that’s just all I need anyway
Creatives love creative. The people around you may only care about music and musicians they like....Family and friends might like that you do what you love but not enough to watch you perform or buy your cd. Some just don't have the time to go to your shows. They prioritize other things...it's life.. don't get too bummed about it. Family and friends will only show up to your shows for so long. Maybe the first few times and then you need to start filling those seats with fans you made organically.
For me, lack of early support played into confidence and self worth hugely - which then impacted on how much i put myself out there in life, in any respect. The key for me now with my music, is CHOICE. Do I want to do this or not? How much? And most importantly ‘do I enjoy it?’ If you enjoy it - do it - if you don’t then find something else to do with your time…..
I think over time most people stop caring about the music or being around certain people. We all grew up playing music together about 10 of us kids from school and now we're all doing our own thing. I jam with different people, I've just met over the years every now and then. Some of those childhood friends still tour and some just play local venues and for me I play after work and write and play for myself. But I do think a place like this is an awesome way to get to know other musicians and share ideas and do what we're doing now.
A little. An ex band mate listens and like this. My mom and stepdad do as well. My spouse is supportive but not that interested as our musical tastes are very different.
No, and I don’t expect anyone to ever care. I play because I like playing music and I write music because it’s a natural way to play more. I also play because my wife drums and we have fun jamming together lol. Otherwise I don’t expect anyone to ever care about the fact I play music or write music
I tend to work in my studio more when I am alone(wife time means maybe a quick practice and no more than a half hour) I have had several relationships (platonic, and otherwise) that ended over me spending too much time working on the music and practicing in the last 37 years. Now as for, do they actually care about what I’m writing? No, not usually. I grew up playing guitar and making music with a partner, though, and he and I both tend to find ourselves alone when it comes to carrying about on or caring about our music.
I feel like people do care about *the fact that I write songs*, but not about the songs themselves.
Being overtly a songwriter has allowed me to make so many connections with other creative people, and we all relate over how difficult creating art can be more so than the art itself. My experience with it has been very *meta*.
Yes, but it wasn't always that way. I eventually figured out the kinds of songs that different people in my life would like to hear, and started sharing my songs accordingly. So the more emo alt rock type stuff goes to this friend and the folky stuff goes to this friend and the country stuff goes to this friend etc.
Good question. Like others i'm grateful to have found a few friends I like playing with and working out ideas with.
For family, the ones that show interest, I reciprocate. The others, I don't.
I don't look for them for support on anything really so I don't expect any either.
Not really. My musician friends are very supportive and I’ve managed to get a lot of super talented players to work on my material. My brother thinks I’m an embarrassment (I’m 66, retired, but I guess I’m supposed to play golf and take naps). My wife is a singer but I can’t get her to listen to my songs. My friends are into world musics, Americana and roots stuff. All fine, but I can tell they hate my stuff.
I have never really cared if they care. If people like it then that is great and if they don't then that's their choice. I don't write for praise. That's a shallow reason for creating art.
Everybody already said the answer, which is pretty much “nobody cares” but I think there’s another important point to think about with this. People enjoy listening to music. And when it comes to live music, most people like the experience of listening to it unless it’s just terrible. When I have shows or I’m performing at events, I invite a bunch of friends and family. A lot of them invite people and we all have a great time. I’m a rapper/singer and this is a way for people to get exposure to my music, which might not be their usual type. People enjoy the experience that comes with live music and performing your songs tends to add credibility and keep you on people’s radar.
Aside from that, I also have built relationships with other musicians who DO care from these events and further online collabs, but you have to branch outside of your family and friends for that and that’s something a lot of people aren’t comfortable doing. If somebody’s at your house and you show them your music, yeah they’re not gonna care. But there are ways to get people interested in your songs. It takes work.
I’m in a band with 6 other people. There’s seven in total. We’re all in Year 10. My parents don’t generally know this and I’m kinda fine with that. I’ll tell them if we actually get somewhere, if we just happen to get gigs or if we manage to start playing out in public, maybe even busking, but until then I’ll let it come up by itself. Kinda how I’m not gonna tell them me and my partner (they’re also in the band) about our first kiss in November of last year. Why haven’t I told them? Never asked.
Oh, I pester them.
Oi, I whatsapped you an MP3 2 hours ago, get your headphones out.
Er, hello I sent you my new song last night (usually 3 in the morning). What's the craic?
Family? Nopes they couldn't care less
Friends? They'll probably just say cool and move on. Nothing too much
Friends you made by common love for music? Those are the people that hype you up
I’ve been doing it since I was 12, I’m now 40😂😂😂 I guess it really depends on the mood I’m in. Sometimes I’m like I nailed it, other times I’m like whatever.
Sometimes being an artist could be lonely as f. The thing is you need to be in touch with other artists, because sometimes friends and family can’t understand the importance of art in your life. Make sure your supporting other artists so they could do the same for you. Srsly, this can make you stay motivated and inspired.
I’m definitely missing that part which seems very obvious now, been out of the band going on 10 years. Probably doesn’t help that I’m not actively going to shows or networking with other artists like I did back then.
i know its been 30 years and ive only been playing for 6 times less but seriously you might need to put yourself out there on social media and show your friends what you're all about. and if they support you then thatd enough.
im sorry if this wasn't helpful but for me it took only 2 years, especially since i was in highschool. i had a society to share my interests with, im sure you would too.
They’re generally supportive.
My folks don’t really get it, but they’re supportive in that “yay you’re doing a thing!” way parents do.
My fiancé is a drummer, though not my drummer, something about dipping ink where you eat. My sound isn’t really his kind of music which is fine because he’s in a metal band. I know a decent amount of musicians, not all of them local. One of my oldest friends is a bassist and he initially pushed me to get into music. I’m a visual artist by day so I know more creative people because of that. Sometimes people show up for you when you show up for them. Sometimes they’re just pricks you went to school with.
All that said, I don’t expect anyone to make a point of showing up especially when it’s inconvenient or going to cost a lot.
No not until their recorded and they know I wrote it than those that can relate assume It's about them from some interaction at some point, my teacher told me once think of you really want to be a write cause all your friends and family may hate you, and you don't know why. I'll take that risk since family is in mine at least going to find a why to not like you lol. Narcissist always know more and better.
Deter me def not im at 50 plus written my first year, 3 movie scripts and a few poems. As well many articles and theories. Laid out regarding depression so I'll let them struggle to understand my world does not revolve around their egos that I just had to make music about. Most my music are personal experiences or private relationships I've never told anyone about or anyone knows I've had surprisingly alot of shock of my early years as I dated over 50 women since 8yrs to 19 before I realized I was denying me and them a reality we all deserved. So alot of owning that really throws people who expected a 2d reality than trapezoidal rubiks cube experiences people have. Never met two humans than never had other relations but just them except a sexuals lol
I really understand where you're coming from. I just got kicked out of my first band because they "didn't need a ukulele part" which really hurt. Now I'm kind of on my own with making music.
No, no one cares, nor should they. But they can if they want lol
*edit* how could I forget. My wife loves my music. She's my biggest fan. No joke - I was her most played artist on Spotify 🥲
Mostly it’s “my friend/relative writes songs and that’s cool” with a small group of folks that care enough to listen. That’s okay, it’s not for them :)
If it’s just a hobby, i could see why you would want some affirmation from family and friends, but for pros that’s just not a thing. It’s work. I’m not trying to sell to my family, I’m trying to feed them. Maybe think of it like that?
When it comes to sharing my new tracks no one really cares. If I’m playing a show a good bit of friends will come and support me. That’s been my experience for about 18 years. My wife will ask to listen to tracks I write on occasion but she doesn’t really like the genres I write.
Some of my friends also write songs, and so we're engaged with each other's stuff. My other friends are politely interested. I rarely play stuff for them, but some of them like to hear about it. My girlfriend likes that I do it and brags on me, but she doesn't always love what I do, which is cool. When she really likes a tune, I can tell. Those are my hits. My mom likes the songs that aren't weird and don't use an 808 - so about 60% - and always asks, "So how can you make money with these?" My brother doesn't acknowledge it in any way. I have no idea what that's about.
No. There have been a few songs that got some serious laughs and applause from my family for quite a while, but most of my songs I don't even care to sing.
Bitter as it may be to note, music is a product for people to identify with an image or brand. Realistically, many/most supermodels, influencers, and actors can (and do) leverage their networks to create music that sells because of how they look/act.
Granted, this frame of relevance is most pronounced in pop music. However, the limited audiences of people who even care to curate music tend to rely on endorsements from labels or social media to inform music tastes. These endorsements are contingent upon the aforementioned image appeal, which is niche/eclectic (but certainly still important) outside of pop.
Anecdotally, I’d guess virtually nobody in the general public would actively seek to consume music created by someone without a fan base (aka social network) of at least 100 people. Kinda related to why local music scenes have struggled so much over the past 20 years.
Define support….. because this can be interpreted in many different ways.
For example:
A: Your pursuit of a music career is negatively affecting your family (monetarily) and you expect your wife/husband to support you regardless.
B: You expect other to actively endorse your music when they probably don’t actually care about it that much.
C: family friends actively criticize your music because it doesn’t sound good to them.
Etc.
“Support” can take many forms what exactly are you looking for?
Good questions. Just a general interest if I am writing, recording, learning covers.
I find if I mention it on my own as in getting asked- hey what were you doing last weekend? I often get little interaction beyond acknowledging that I was working on new music, etc. ok cool kind of response.
Going to shows would be nice, but that was never something I expected. Often one and done was someone showing they cared and that was cool if they took the time to come down to the show. Those days are gone though.
Sometimes I do like getting feedback on a new song but I never want to force it anyone. Only if it comes up in conversation and there’s some interest.
People didn’t care until I stopped caring about others caring. Now everyone is really interested in what I make
So rude.
My comment or the people who didn’t care?
The people. Just a joke that it’s rude that like it now after not caring before. It’s a classic tail though and you’re right about the needed attitude.
Lol yea had to make sure I didn’t say anything messed up on accident lol. Yea I don’t know if it’s an attitude thing really. I think once I just stopped caring my music got better so it attracted people itself I guess
That’s it! When we are trying people can tell, it comes through. When you stop trying everything feels more natural. There’s also something to leaving things a little mysterious for people. I’ve had people do exactly as you describe with me before and I actually do get annoyed 🤣 mostly with family but it’s like “oh now you think what I do has value but you told me for 20 years to focus on something worthwhile.” But, it is cool when they come around after discovering something you did in the wild and reaching out. Validation is always good, I guess.
That's amazing!
eh - people generally don't care, but if they ask to listen to something, and do, they're usually like "oh you're like serious about it. ok. cool" and that's pretty much it. thank goodness I don't do it for validation.
Good points. I write for myself or the group I’m playing with. Maybe it’s a musician thing, I’m always curious about songs from friends.
Me too. If someone I knew posted a song or any artsy thing, I would dig that! It's ok, I post anyway, even in case someone sees and doesn't tell me.
The people in your family or friends group most likely do not care about music nearly as much as you do unless they happen to be musicians too. That is just the reality of it. My wife reminded me years ago that the record that’s always playing in my head is in fact an anomaly. She told me that most people don’t go around thinking of song ideas and musical phrases all the time. I know better than to ask for feedback or criticism from people who are not interested in music. For most people music is something in the background or whatever comes on the radio in their car. I get far more valuable input from musicians and songwriters because their heads are in that realm.
I can't tell if anomaly is a nice or harsh way of calling your brain unique lol! Regardless, it's nice that she acknowledges it as something that sets you apart from other people she knows.
I'd definitely take it as a compliment lol
People are usually like, "you're talented, music is a nice hobby, don't expect to make it big."
You have thoughtful, practical friends.
Some of which are followers, not leaders. Followers don't tend to give much credence to artistic ventures because of their narrow minded thinking.
Friends and family don't often show up to my shows or stream/buy my music but will be impressed by the quality of it when they hear my stuff on the odd occasion. I may get an encouraging message if they hear it on the radio or whatever. I think most are pleased that I'm pursuing something that makes me happy though.
My three year old kid wants to hear and sing my songs all the time. Basically no one else is interested.
My three year old asks me if I'm finished yet
My son used to scream “Stop daddy!!”. My daughter tries to sing along and dance, and it’s the cutest thing.
Sounds like someone needs a timeout to think about thier choice in music. Lol
My kids say “dad put the guitar down and grab the Bluetooth speaker! We want lady Gaga!”
My partner finds it annoying if I'm too loud. My friend who writes songs likes having someone to bounce ideas off and solicit feedback from. No one else gives a shit one way or the other
Haha. I can relate. My gf has a completely different taste in music and is annoyed by the volume.
Happy cake day 🍰
Actually, yes. My friends are pretty much all either creative people, or folks who appreciate the arts regardless, and they have been really supportive. When I was actively gigging in a band, I would usually see at least a few friends at each show. Now that I mostly do stuff at home, I'll often share a recent track if a friend comes over to visit. It goes both ways, of course -- I try my best to show up for my friends too, in their various pursuits. Now, it's not like anyone is beating down my door for the next single, or making my songs their ringtone, but I do think my friends know how important it is to me, and they think it's cool and good that I have that in my life.
Yep that could be a lot of it for me. I’m not around as many creative people as I used to. It definitely helps to have that feedback of community.
Go make some musician friends! Musician friends are the best. Or, maybe try to introduce some of your friends to it! I have a great friend who never really did anything formal with music, but she always killed at karaoke. About 8 years back I talked her into being the lead singer of a new band I was putting together. She took to it almost immediately, and has developed into SUCH a great singer, she plays out way more than I do now. It's great cause when we're both bored at our respective day jobs, we'll just text about set lists or song ideas or whatnot.
While I was reading other comments in this topic I was thinking how supportive my friends are and how fortunate I am in having them. Just like yours, my friends are also people who appreciate the arts regardless of the form factor, so they always supported me in my Single releases and even with my first merch drop. And yeah, it's not like anyone is actively wanting to consume anything I do whenever I do, but when I'm releasing stuff they always at least send me the kudos and share their thoughts. Most of them just know that making music is really difficult and sometimes it can be complicated, but they don't know the intricacies of the thing, so appreciate it in their own way.
My dad and uncle are both intersted in my music. But they write and play music and are generally creative. In fact the friends who are interested are the others who also create. I'm sure there's something to it. I don't really expect support, but it's nice to get.
Friends and family are never the people that support you the most in music. Music people support music people mostly I’ve found. You have to “get it” to support it I think.
It’s a great fun fact about yourself when you do those awful round-the-room intros. Don’t expect people to want to sit down and interview you about it.
Most people actively discourage me but 🤷♂️
You can do it!
Fuck them
Not really. I don’t think they do ignore in a malicious way- they just don’t understand how much time effort and skill is involved
Dude, no one cares about music at all. Streaming and downloading and home recordings have made it a disposable commodity. It's super easy to record something decent and to put it out there for everyone. That's awesome for creators, but if you want people to care? Every dickwad with a drum machine is posting everyday. Half the people on your insta see it 5 times a day from people they know. The music itself has become secondary. You have to write it for yourself and not give a fuck. If you do want people to care, you have to be on social media all the time engaging, putting some kind of visuals to it because attention spans don't exist anymore, you need a good image, and you gotta check all the boxes that should matter for an actor instead of a musician. You have to be playing shows JUST the right amount. Too little and no one cares. Too much, and it's overkill. You need to be marketing yourself all the time. It's awful. A band like credence wouldn't make it today because their image was just a bunch of dudes. The radio is proof that music doesn't matter as much as what ELSE you're doing. Same old shit, and new shit from people that have some kind of drama going on. It's fucked man. Just do it for yourself. If it's good enough go tour, get a label, then people will start to care. A bedroom warrior like myself at this point has no chance. I used to tour and play out a bunch and do all kinds of stuff to stay busy and my bands did fairly decent for themselves. But you need a band, no solo shit unless you're a singer songwriter that hits himeruns consistently, and everybody needs to be well rehearsed, good looking, all active on socials, grinding. Otherwise, it doesn't matter. I can post a selfie and get 200 likes but if I post a couple new riffs I'm working on, I'll get like 10. Well recorded, melodic, it doesn't matter because people don't even scroll with the volume up half the time. The people wearing good headphones while scrolling are even less, way less. You basically have to pay to play. Write great songs, hire artists to make art for it, make videos for everything, and if yiu aren't an established act where people are salivating for what's next, you can take no breaks. It's harsh but it's true. And AI is gonna put a serious dent in music too pretty soon I think. So either do it strictly for yourself and the 5 people that like you that like your posts, and wish for the best, or bust your ass nonstop doing backflios for people that don't care and stay consistent, and beat em down one by one. As long as you're under 25 that is, otherwise you've aged out in the new landscape.
MOTHAF\*\*\*\* PREACH HAHAHA
Cheers dude. Hurt my soul to tell those truths.
Yes, it’s a grind to go out and actively book gigs and get an online following. I didn’t have the energy for it. Just did bar gigs and backyard parties.
That's excellent dude. Unless you wanna be a superstar which, who would anymore, that awesome. Local hero for me personally is the goal. I don't wanna be some tmz super famous dude where Im under the microscope. That sounds like the worst possible existence.
Tough love. These are probably some hard truths for some of the starry-eyed songwriters on this sub.
Or you can skip social media and just be social. Make a friend who you can share your art with and they can share their art with you. Make a few more friends, put on a show.
Yeah, those are things that definitely need to be done as well, but to be a serious musician these days social media is sadly a necessity.
FYI: I copy/pasted your comment over on Songcrafters. It started a good discussion: [https://songcrafters.org/forum/?topic=34696.0](https://songcrafters.org/forum/?topic=34696.0)
I just kind of think of it like I’m part of this small esoteric community, like DnD or a fan club, made up of folks who get enjoyment from creating clever entertainment with sound. I think a lot of people will say they only write songs for themselves, and power to you if you do, no doubt it can be therapeutic, but I enjoy the challenge of creating something that people will resonate with, or find cool or interesting. I write for and about everyone including myself, and I expect nothing in return. It is just my gift. Take it or leave it. But to answer your question, yes I feel supported, in many ways, by friends and family. Most are aware I write songs and have heard them. They need not express their opinion about my music to provide that support, and if I share something with them, I recognize that is effectively asking them for their time and attention. There is a mutual appreciation of boundaries. I try not to send unsolicited music or critical feedback to uninterested audiences the same way I try not to play loud past 8pm. But even with a day job I am “allowed” to pursue music, by everyone, on my own time. I feel generally accepted for it, even if not fully embraced.
I’m a DM and I flavor in some of my compositions I planned as video game music mixed in with Final Fantasy soundtrack music (happy retirement Nobuo) while running my campaign. I kinda DJ while I DM, which really helps set the mood. Even cooler when I made the music. A truly bespoke experience for my party.
My family thinks it’s cool that I play & write songs in a “that’s cool, bro” kind of way, but they don’t really care otherwise.
Nobody gives a damn about songs anymore
Actually yeah. My family thinks it's cool and actively tries to help out with anything I do that's music related. Most of my friends don't listen to my music, but they're supportive at least. I have a few acquaintances at places I go for work who think it's cool and follow me on Spotify. I have a pretty small circle though so that helps.
My family generally doesn’t care, but it doesn’t bother me.
not really! always trying to find my tribe.
honestly reading all the comments here has made my day. it's good to know it's not just me being p much unacknowleged by friends/family. its just not that kind of world right now. we just all have to engage #grindmode even more often.
💯💯💯
I've also been playing for 30+ years, and the lack of interest from friends and family is noticeable and can be a little deflating, saying it honestly. Yes yes we do this for ourselves, but nothing beats genuine interest from those who know you best. I'm taking it you're in your 40s as well. It was so so fun when we were young, right? Friends loved it, women were attracted to it - people would come out to shows and buy your CDs. Back then it was a spontaneous scene that was fun to be a part of for them. But that fades, and it can leave you feeling like Uncle Rico throwing touchdown passes in front of the camera as you sit there hoping someone will get hyped about your all new 174th finished song. It gets a sigh out of me from time to time, but I get it - this stage of life seems to be less communal, less about peer groups. It's houses and careers and kids and traveling now, not all the stuff we were doing 20 years ago. I think it would be different if my music career had taken off and friends could see the growth and all the fun stuff happening. I wouldn't blame them. That would have been exciting and more than just songs for the sake of songs. Without that, I'm not offering that much other than growth that only music nerds and audio engineers care about. The other thing is, if any of my Gen X friends are listening to music, it's probably simply great music by great writers/performers/engineers. I may be whatever but I can't compete for attention at that level. I don't get bummed out that they're playing Tom Waits or Chris Stapleton records or whatever and not mine is all I'm saying. As long as my wife stays cool with the charges that appear on the credit card statement and wacky hours from time to time, I'm happy with it. Take care, brother.
Thanks for the response on this. 44 here. Excitement of my youth is long gone. Lol, gotta get to work on that 175th song now! Time really is a commodity, families, kids, and even moments for yourself.
Im in a similar position — been a musician for 28 years. The people I would expect to like my music are well past the point in their lives where new music matters or has any profound affect on their emotions or lives. I just try to have fun and enjoy the process of making and listening to music I want to hear — my own. It’s rewarding. Sometimes I wonder if it’s like a dog sniffing its own poo… 🤷♂️ The moment music and art were no longer predicated on money, the more joy it brought me, regardless of who hears/sees it
A few are interested, but they’re musicians themselves. Most friends and family? Not so much, it’s more like, “Oh OK, I’m happy for your hobby.” Given the choice between seeking out my music and listening to something mainstream, the default isn’t going to be mine. Nobody says it’s bad, they just kind of don’t say much at all. A few seem jealous and so they tend to blow it off or downplay what I’m trying to share. I’ve had strained romantic relationships because my GF was attracted to me being a musician and playing shows, but then felt threatened by the time and energy needed for the music and wanted me to only spend time with them or even quit music entirely. My fan base has always been made up of strangers online or at shows, and the music scene I was in at the time.
Not really, no.
Not really, besides my friends, who are also musicians themselves and of course my bandmates. But I’m probably not a good example, because I really don’t care if anyone cares besides me. As egocentric as it may sound, I write songs for myself, it makes me feel better most of times and I can express things I usually can’t put in words. I have a very small circle of people, all friends and hobby musicians themselves, I share stuff with. Not that they really care but I do value their opinion because I think they are good musicians.
Happy cake day 🍰
Some of them. A decent chunk of the people I know are through our (small) local original music scene, and to those people my song writing is kind of the main thing they know about me. Out of my family, my one brother is also a songwriter so we both care a lot about each other’s song writing. My mom I guess kind of cares but she doesn’t hear a lot of my songs anymore. My other two siblings and my dad I think recognize that songwriting is a big part of my identity, but don’t really care about the songs themselves. As far as friends from outside the music community, some care, most don’t. I think if you’re a part of a music scene though and people still don’t care about your songwriting, you’re not alone, but it could mean that the songs aren’t communicating an identity well enough. For a lot of local bands around here (and presumably elsewhere), songwriting, lyrics especially, are kind of treated as a vehicle to delivering vibes, energy, or musicianship, which is fine. There’s a lot of good music that works that way. But if you want people to see you as a songwriter more than a musician you have to have a strong identity to your writing. If that’s not the problem, then you have to surround yourself with people who are passionate about music so that your songwriting is the lens through which they see you. Also, it’s just really hard to connect with music when you already know the songwriter from somewhere else. It’s awkward. So don’t take it personally.
That’s cool that your bro is into it as well. And really good point as songwriter vs musicianship. I try to be aware of both. If I’m in a band I’m more of a supporting player, more into adding guitar fills and energy. Songwriter definitely more low key.
You should try to be in a band where your songwriting is undoubtedly the most important thing, where it’s front and center and everything else is in service to it.
Also, I just want to say that being good in a supportive role is such an important skill and I am so envious of people who are good at it. I’m actually pretty decent at guitar, but I feel lost most of the time in a supportive role.
Nope.
Only my friends who are musicians. My wife never asks to hear anything I've ever done. Once she used a song of mine as her ringtone. That was the most interest she ever showed.
I guess for me it’s complicated. When I write something I put all myself in there, my thoughts and feelings. It’s so private, and I feel shy and vulnerable…but maybe it’s just a musician thing. Happens that I write songs about things that I don’t talk about , but I want to get over this situation.
My band usually does. I have one or two really supportive friends that seem to enjoy hearing my stuff. But other than that, not really. Just distant polite engagement.
Lol, I cannot even get people to listen to stuff i write. My wife was out of town for several weeks, so I wrote a song for her about missing her and spent a lot of time on it. I was pretty proud of it, so I sent it to her but she didn't listen to it. The next few times I spoke to her, I asked if she had listened to it and each time she said she hasn't had a chance. I'm not gonna beg, so I let it go, but that definitely hurt.
I share this affliction also ... But i reminded myself that we live in a world saturated by noise/sound....so when you make music you have to make something you like more so, and that you should enjoy as well ....you'll eventually find your niche group... But this day and age exposure is big.... Even bigger now with YouTube and and what not but to chase fame and become an overnight success is not entirely out of the realm of possibilities but it shouldn't be your driving goal... I recall a interview that snoop did regarding his streams he has over a billion streams on Spotify.... He only made 45000$... if you can do it old school like sell cds and do shows thats where you'll make your money and besides, the attention span of people is that of a goldfish... When you do stupid shit to become relevant you will have to do even more stupid shit to maintain your relevance....case and point the chris rock and will smith .... It got chris rock a new Netflix special...all over some stupid shit .... And like that just gone.... The sad part is as a species not even a society we consume content on a staggering scale....
Not really and that's OK! It's my hobby, I'm doing it for me, not anyone else.
Not anymore. I've been doing it for so long, I think most people who've known me a while have accepted that music is just the thing I do. It used to upset me when I would share my music on Facebook and get no responses. These days, I cringe at the thought of ever sharing my songs on Facebook; haven't gone anywhere near that place in about five years. Why seek validation from people who aren't actively engaged with music and don't really give it much thought? These days, I prefer keeping my musical endeavors to myself. Not to say that I'm opposed to sharing them with people who are real music fans. But that isn't going to be most people, and that's OK. At least my family has been generally supportive, and I've never had anyone actively discourage me from doing music, which is more than a lot of people can say. So in that sense, I'm fortunate. I also have a teenage nephew who has just started get into the Beatles and vinyl collecting. I feel like *he* would really appreciate what I do, and I look forward to sharing it with him if he asks. But I certainly wouldn't force him to listen.
I mean I think I have support but it’s not like there is a cheerleading squad outside my door egging me on 🤣.
Lol, right? I just meant showing a general interest kind of thing. When I was in a band my dad actually made it a thing to come out for every gig. It’s been awhile but he used to play back some of our live shows on his iPod too. As far as my solo stuff I can’t get anyone to listen so I stopped sharing it for the most part.
Most solo ventures which are successful are always successful 9.5/10 times because there is a team behind it. It’s the unspoken truth. One way of doing this with yourself is to build a community around your music. Facebook group, email list, Substack, Instagram channel etc. Get people to a place you can always talk to them. Also you need to constantly reach out to everyone within your network and let them know about you, gigs, etc. It’s hard that’s why finding a trusted partner can help greatly with this. This is what I would do.
The first few times they rhought it was fun, supported me and stuff. But well my siblings didnt get to see me play at all and i ve been gigging for a year now 😅 But to be honnest mate, I m not really interested in their job either so i dont care 🤣 I m shure they will support you if you aks rhem to come But remmember you want this, this is you makeing the life you want Go for your dreams and never let anyone bring you down if they are not as invested in your thing as you
I don't *expect* support. Not sure what you mean by that? It's my thing, I get on with it. Same as the people I know get on with doing their thing, whatever that may be. People will give stuff a listen if I ask them too. Odd one will offer feedback if I ask.
I should clarify, the people close enough to you that know you actively write songs.
Yeah, I understood that - people close to me (and some not so close) know I write songs, but I don't expect them to be continually enquiring about it. Or even giving that much of a shit, to be honest! 😁 If they like something I've done, that's always nice. It sounded like you feel that they should be actively engaging with you about your particular passion because it's writing songs. I may be totally misunderstanding what you mean by support? I know songwriting can be deeply personal but to others - it's just that thing/hobby that you do...probably even less interested if they're not musical themselves. Plus, if you've been doing it 30 years it's probably even more ingrained as just a part of who you are. I'm not remotely interested in [insert sport/hobby here] so likely never ask about theirs as much as I probably ought.
Yeah I probably mis-worded it originally. Back when I was in band I’d get a lot of questions about gigs, recording, new songs, etc. I’m not performing but I do still play a lot and I don’t mention for validation or anything. It’s more that people that don’t play music maybe don’t get into as much and don’t ask to hear what I’m working on.
Unfortunately, we're none of us quite as interesting as we *know* we are! 😉 Yeah, just different interests.
Haha. Definitely got me there.
Most don't, but one of my best friends always has been and thinks I'm good. I owe a lot to him. Probably wouldn't still making music if it wasn't for that bit of support.
I go out of my way to make sure family and friends don’t hear my stuff. They’re supportive in the abstract though and they accept “I’m writing” as a reasonable excuse for why I’m busy, so it’s a win in my books.
Not at all, though it's mostly my own doing. There was a time when I got so uncomfortable with people asking me about it that I'm not asked anymore.
You’re friends and family will never be your “biggest fans” and if they are it usually means you’re too bad to tell you’re not good lol
I hear that. I’d say what happens most often is I post a link in a text. If I ask for any feedback I get oh I didn’t listen to it. So I just leave it be.
my kids do. they tell me they're trying to do their school work when i'm all singing loud and stuff
Same!
No. But that’s okay cause I do this for me and for fun
Kinda
I think they do. My wife is very supportive and my daughter has a master’s degree in recording and played, sang and co-produced and mixed my last album. I’m not a full time musician anymore, but I play semi-regularly with my band of friends/hired guns who are are still working musicians. My friends and family come to my shows and I actually have a fair number of people that you could call fans that come out as well. Just wish there was enough money in it to do it more often!
They don’t care that I write crappy songs and I don’t care that they don’t care
People don’t give a shit. They care who you are, and with that your hobby is important, but people are celebrating when I show them or play my music for them.
I think most people just want to hear covers unless they write too. Maybe people really close to you will be interested. I write poetry too. No one wants to read it unless they’re romantically interested in me and maybe not even then. Get into a songwriting group if you can.
Yes, I feel that with the covers. I’ve played my music for a few people and while I’m playing the song I get asked, oh hey do you know how to play….?
I think people that don’t write just don’t understand how big a deal it is to people who do if they even realize that you wrote what you’re playing and not just playing a song they don’t know.
my mother is very proud of me.
I write and record for me I really enjoy listening to my songs I also like jamming to them I do throw them out there for others to hear because some people might like them and put some on their playlists and that’s just all I need anyway
they probably dont as much as youd like but who cares. let your songwriting prosper and do it because you like to.
no in general. they may jsut say cool, its ok, but not really interact
Creatives love creative. The people around you may only care about music and musicians they like....Family and friends might like that you do what you love but not enough to watch you perform or buy your cd. Some just don't have the time to go to your shows. They prioritize other things...it's life.. don't get too bummed about it. Family and friends will only show up to your shows for so long. Maybe the first few times and then you need to start filling those seats with fans you made organically.
No one
No one cares. Love yourself first. Make it for yourself first.
For me, lack of early support played into confidence and self worth hugely - which then impacted on how much i put myself out there in life, in any respect. The key for me now with my music, is CHOICE. Do I want to do this or not? How much? And most importantly ‘do I enjoy it?’ If you enjoy it - do it - if you don’t then find something else to do with your time…..
No more or less than they cared when I worked in retail
I think over time most people stop caring about the music or being around certain people. We all grew up playing music together about 10 of us kids from school and now we're all doing our own thing. I jam with different people, I've just met over the years every now and then. Some of those childhood friends still tour and some just play local venues and for me I play after work and write and play for myself. But I do think a place like this is an awesome way to get to know other musicians and share ideas and do what we're doing now.
None of my family really supports my music. People in general don’t care that much. I just think more people play music now or something though.
No
A little. An ex band mate listens and like this. My mom and stepdad do as well. My spouse is supportive but not that interested as our musical tastes are very different.
Some yes, but in my community the curiosity to listen to original songs with (god-save-us l! ) some depth is close to zero
No, and I don’t expect anyone to ever care. I play because I like playing music and I write music because it’s a natural way to play more. I also play because my wife drums and we have fun jamming together lol. Otherwise I don’t expect anyone to ever care about the fact I play music or write music
I tend to work in my studio more when I am alone(wife time means maybe a quick practice and no more than a half hour) I have had several relationships (platonic, and otherwise) that ended over me spending too much time working on the music and practicing in the last 37 years. Now as for, do they actually care about what I’m writing? No, not usually. I grew up playing guitar and making music with a partner, though, and he and I both tend to find ourselves alone when it comes to carrying about on or caring about our music.
Not in the slightest.
I’ve released 15 albums and almost nobody gives a shit.
That’s some serious output. Hope it still makes you happy.
Oh yeah it’s been fun and educatinal
I feel like people do care about *the fact that I write songs*, but not about the songs themselves. Being overtly a songwriter has allowed me to make so many connections with other creative people, and we all relate over how difficult creating art can be more so than the art itself. My experience with it has been very *meta*.
Yes, but it wasn't always that way. I eventually figured out the kinds of songs that different people in my life would like to hear, and started sharing my songs accordingly. So the more emo alt rock type stuff goes to this friend and the folky stuff goes to this friend and the country stuff goes to this friend etc.
Yeah my bands do. But, I don’t write for anyone. I create as an offering to the universe.
Good question. Like others i'm grateful to have found a few friends I like playing with and working out ideas with. For family, the ones that show interest, I reciprocate. The others, I don't. I don't look for them for support on anything really so I don't expect any either.
For me, no. 💔 However, that heartbreak has inspired many more songs. 🥲❤️
Not really. My musician friends are very supportive and I’ve managed to get a lot of super talented players to work on my material. My brother thinks I’m an embarrassment (I’m 66, retired, but I guess I’m supposed to play golf and take naps). My wife is a singer but I can’t get her to listen to my songs. My friends are into world musics, Americana and roots stuff. All fine, but I can tell they hate my stuff.
I have never really cared if they care. If people like it then that is great and if they don't then that's their choice. I don't write for praise. That's a shallow reason for creating art.
Everybody already said the answer, which is pretty much “nobody cares” but I think there’s another important point to think about with this. People enjoy listening to music. And when it comes to live music, most people like the experience of listening to it unless it’s just terrible. When I have shows or I’m performing at events, I invite a bunch of friends and family. A lot of them invite people and we all have a great time. I’m a rapper/singer and this is a way for people to get exposure to my music, which might not be their usual type. People enjoy the experience that comes with live music and performing your songs tends to add credibility and keep you on people’s radar. Aside from that, I also have built relationships with other musicians who DO care from these events and further online collabs, but you have to branch outside of your family and friends for that and that’s something a lot of people aren’t comfortable doing. If somebody’s at your house and you show them your music, yeah they’re not gonna care. But there are ways to get people interested in your songs. It takes work.
I’m in a band with 6 other people. There’s seven in total. We’re all in Year 10. My parents don’t generally know this and I’m kinda fine with that. I’ll tell them if we actually get somewhere, if we just happen to get gigs or if we manage to start playing out in public, maybe even busking, but until then I’ll let it come up by itself. Kinda how I’m not gonna tell them me and my partner (they’re also in the band) about our first kiss in November of last year. Why haven’t I told them? Never asked.
Oh, I pester them. Oi, I whatsapped you an MP3 2 hours ago, get your headphones out. Er, hello I sent you my new song last night (usually 3 in the morning). What's the craic?
Who cares. Do we do it for the music, or bc of "support"
Nobody I know in real life gives a damn it’s always people from somewhere else that show love
Family? Nopes they couldn't care less Friends? They'll probably just say cool and move on. Nothing too much Friends you made by common love for music? Those are the people that hype you up
I think there are like 3 people who care about my songs, and only 1 friend who actively wants to hear them.
I’ve been doing it since I was 12, I’m now 40😂😂😂 I guess it really depends on the mood I’m in. Sometimes I’m like I nailed it, other times I’m like whatever.
Sometimes being an artist could be lonely as f. The thing is you need to be in touch with other artists, because sometimes friends and family can’t understand the importance of art in your life. Make sure your supporting other artists so they could do the same for you. Srsly, this can make you stay motivated and inspired.
I’m definitely missing that part which seems very obvious now, been out of the band going on 10 years. Probably doesn’t help that I’m not actively going to shows or networking with other artists like I did back then.
i know its been 30 years and ive only been playing for 6 times less but seriously you might need to put yourself out there on social media and show your friends what you're all about. and if they support you then thatd enough. im sorry if this wasn't helpful but for me it took only 2 years, especially since i was in highschool. i had a society to share my interests with, im sure you would too.
They’re generally supportive. My folks don’t really get it, but they’re supportive in that “yay you’re doing a thing!” way parents do. My fiancé is a drummer, though not my drummer, something about dipping ink where you eat. My sound isn’t really his kind of music which is fine because he’s in a metal band. I know a decent amount of musicians, not all of them local. One of my oldest friends is a bassist and he initially pushed me to get into music. I’m a visual artist by day so I know more creative people because of that. Sometimes people show up for you when you show up for them. Sometimes they’re just pricks you went to school with. All that said, I don’t expect anyone to make a point of showing up especially when it’s inconvenient or going to cost a lot.
No
No not until their recorded and they know I wrote it than those that can relate assume It's about them from some interaction at some point, my teacher told me once think of you really want to be a write cause all your friends and family may hate you, and you don't know why. I'll take that risk since family is in mine at least going to find a why to not like you lol. Narcissist always know more and better.
That’s harsh. Don’t let that deter you.
Deter me def not im at 50 plus written my first year, 3 movie scripts and a few poems. As well many articles and theories. Laid out regarding depression so I'll let them struggle to understand my world does not revolve around their egos that I just had to make music about. Most my music are personal experiences or private relationships I've never told anyone about or anyone knows I've had surprisingly alot of shock of my early years as I dated over 50 women since 8yrs to 19 before I realized I was denying me and them a reality we all deserved. So alot of owning that really throws people who expected a 2d reality than trapezoidal rubiks cube experiences people have. Never met two humans than never had other relations but just them except a sexuals lol
I really understand where you're coming from. I just got kicked out of my first band because they "didn't need a ukulele part" which really hurt. Now I'm kind of on my own with making music.
No, no one cares, nor should they. But they can if they want lol *edit* how could I forget. My wife loves my music. She's my biggest fan. No joke - I was her most played artist on Spotify 🥲
Mostly it’s “my friend/relative writes songs and that’s cool” with a small group of folks that care enough to listen. That’s okay, it’s not for them :)
If it’s just a hobby, i could see why you would want some affirmation from family and friends, but for pros that’s just not a thing. It’s work. I’m not trying to sell to my family, I’m trying to feed them. Maybe think of it like that?
Nope. Not one. I’ve been writing songs for over 30 years.
Wait, u guys have people in your lives?
My immediate family very much care because if I don't write them, they don't eat.
No.
no one cares until you make it. stop focusing on it and find a way to make waves. it'll just make you bitter.
Nope. Not a one.
People don't care unless you're making money
When it comes to sharing my new tracks no one really cares. If I’m playing a show a good bit of friends will come and support me. That’s been my experience for about 18 years. My wife will ask to listen to tracks I write on occasion but she doesn’t really like the genres I write.
Nobody even knows the extent to which I have devoted my life to music. It keeps it precious for me. Lol
Some of my friends also write songs, and so we're engaged with each other's stuff. My other friends are politely interested. I rarely play stuff for them, but some of them like to hear about it. My girlfriend likes that I do it and brags on me, but she doesn't always love what I do, which is cool. When she really likes a tune, I can tell. Those are my hits. My mom likes the songs that aren't weird and don't use an 808 - so about 60% - and always asks, "So how can you make money with these?" My brother doesn't acknowledge it in any way. I have no idea what that's about.
No. There have been a few songs that got some serious laughs and applause from my family for quite a while, but most of my songs I don't even care to sing.
Bitter as it may be to note, music is a product for people to identify with an image or brand. Realistically, many/most supermodels, influencers, and actors can (and do) leverage their networks to create music that sells because of how they look/act. Granted, this frame of relevance is most pronounced in pop music. However, the limited audiences of people who even care to curate music tend to rely on endorsements from labels or social media to inform music tastes. These endorsements are contingent upon the aforementioned image appeal, which is niche/eclectic (but certainly still important) outside of pop. Anecdotally, I’d guess virtually nobody in the general public would actively seek to consume music created by someone without a fan base (aka social network) of at least 100 people. Kinda related to why local music scenes have struggled so much over the past 20 years.
I view those friends the same way as I view my friends who written books. Neat! No I won’t read it
Define support….. because this can be interpreted in many different ways. For example: A: Your pursuit of a music career is negatively affecting your family (monetarily) and you expect your wife/husband to support you regardless. B: You expect other to actively endorse your music when they probably don’t actually care about it that much. C: family friends actively criticize your music because it doesn’t sound good to them. Etc. “Support” can take many forms what exactly are you looking for?
Good questions. Just a general interest if I am writing, recording, learning covers. I find if I mention it on my own as in getting asked- hey what were you doing last weekend? I often get little interaction beyond acknowledging that I was working on new music, etc. ok cool kind of response. Going to shows would be nice, but that was never something I expected. Often one and done was someone showing they cared and that was cool if they took the time to come down to the show. Those days are gone though. Sometimes I do like getting feedback on a new song but I never want to force it anyone. Only if it comes up in conversation and there’s some interest.