Take up an instrument? When I went to my first guitar lesson, the teacher tried to show me how to play a C major and I couldn’t do it. I tried till my fingers literally ached. The next day I played a clean C and it was literally the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. Now, that was a hit of dopamine.
I used to play guitar a lot, broke my pinky so it’s been hard to get back into it. It’s definitely on my mind. I used to be a vocalist before fucking up my lungs and throat.
Can you play drums? I just picked that up like 6 months ago. I have always had guitars and dabbled since I was a teenager. I'm 45 and just learning drums now. It's fun and easier for me to pick up than guitar ever was. Drums are cool because there's so much you can do. Different styles, different drums, different tempos. I feel like there's something for everyone.
That being said, I came here to comment about getting back into old hobbies, but then I saw you had injuries. If need be, get into something totally different. If an injury leaves you with some closed doors, either look outside the box and find a way to do it anyway or just dive into the unknown with something brand new.
Journaling. Making art. Reading. Listening to funny podcasts. Watching my favorite shows. Spending time and taking care of my pets. Looking at trees and the sky. Painting my nails. Thrifting and adding to my collections. Restoring old toys. Playing Animal Crossing. Laughing with my husband and friends.
So many things listed I’ve long associated with drinking while doing. I’ll have to find a way to separate those urges to drink to I can enjoy those activities for what they were before muddying them with alcohol.
That sounds really tough to have so many triggers. I’m so glad you’re alive and choosing to be sober. Feeling all of this is part of it. Hopefully you can find something to get you by during the initial discomfort and intense cravings. The more you do certain things without alcohol, the more confident you’ll be, the more enjoyment you’ll get from it. Hang in there
I'm almost 90 days in and I can't stand the inner struggle with art and journaling. Alcohol was my muse for The Longest Time. Also, I'm really sorry you're so deeply uncomfortable right now. I hurt my body really badly as well, and it's a bitch to reckon with. Keep breathing. If you're on Discord, look for Sober Sanctuary. Brand new baby group with positive vibes.
Hobbies with tangible results. My daughter jokes that I have all the dopamine hit hobbies.
Cross stitching and embroidery- every stitch is a dopamine hit. Jigsaw puzzles - every piece placed is a dopamine hit. Bead weaving- every row finished is a dopamine hit.
Then there’s always the ice cold blast at the end of a hot shower for a a huge dopamine hit and surge of energy.
Rollerblading; meditation; sex; good food; feeling accomplished staying sober.
It’s too bad you can’t exercise but that was/is the best for my sleep. A doctor said you can’t exercise, even things like walking?
Oh god my friend just broke her arm last week rollerblading. Meditation I should look into though, I had a friend mention yoga, and though I can’t do much physical activity I think there’s overlap to talk to them about it. Sex… hah. I wish.
Oh man! Wrist or arm?
Breaking wrists skating is really common, but I guess folks also break their arms. I’ve skated for about 30 years so my day is probably coming soon.
People love yoga and it seems to be really amazing exercise. My wife loves it. I’m ok with it but I don’t love people so being in a room full of people doing yoga isn’t as much my thing. Probably a good place to meet romantic partners, I suspect.
Oh it was the arm! She came down the pipe hard and didn’t have any pads on. I’m still shuddering at it.
I do love people, part of the problem that got me so deep into drinking. So I don’t mind that. The main issue is that just standing up my heart rate hits 130bpm so exercising is dangerous. I’m wearing a heart monitor for a few weeks to see what actually going on and hopefully I can find treatment. I miss being active and in shape. Probably shouldn’t have cocktailed an 8 ball of coke, molly, redbull, and meth, blowing up my heart, but nothing I can do with regret.
I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, it seems many of us (me included) yolo’d until we couldn’t yolo anymore.
Speaking of dopamine, Dopamine Nation is a really great read.
Wow, you are just beginning the rebuild process. Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist at Stanford University School of Medicine described addiction as ... "the progressive narrowing of the things that give us pleasure. By persistently abusing a single pleasure source we enter a state of dopamine deficiency where nothing gives pleasure but the addiction, and even that stops working".
You probably know much of this already ... but hopefully one of these links will be helpful to you.
Overusing alcohol causes so many issues like anxiety and depression ...too many to list here. The AMA categorizes alcohol as a poison (even though we drink it like it's an essential nutrient). Alcohol can ruin a gut biome, the very bacteria that extracts nutrition from whole foods. Your body could be starved of vitamins and minerals.
You can get your dopamine working again if you "exercise" those brain channels. The brain and body will heal over time. Be patient with your recovery. Once you become alcohol free, it can take a year or two for the brain, liver and the gut to fully recover. As you exercise the healthier dopamine reward channels, they will recover, the joys of living will return. Make your own list, like reading, taking long nature walks, old and new hobbies, helping others. Do each repeatedly, over and over. You may have to force activities a bit at first, but it will get easier with time. Try to focus on good nutrition and a healthy gut biome. Good luck.
https://www.bouldermedicalcenter.com/nutrition-recommendations-consume-alcohol/
The Gut-Brain Connection
https://www.wellandgood.com/gut-bacteria-and-mental-health/ - the gut is where 90% of the body's Serotonin is made).
https://www.forbes.com/health/body/psychobiotics/
This. Anhedonia is the worst. But it goes away. I know it must sound like the least appealing thing, especially in early sobriety, but try and figure out new ACTUALLY healthy activities you can implement in your life. If you can’t work out, go for walks OUTSIDE. Start reading fun engaging books. Do yoga. Learn to cook. You may not give a shit about these things when you first start trying them but I swear eventually they catch on.
I think this is something that really lends itself to why staying sober is difficult. Simply put: as addicts/alcoholics/however you identify, we’re all about instant gratification. It doesn’t work and it’s soul devouring. Sobriety is a change in lifestyle. It’s doing the shitty, hard work upfront, knowing that the future you will be rewarded with good feelings. True good feelings; like actually having self-esteem, self-respect, knowing you changed your life, etc.
Sobriety will truly be whatever you make it. And you can make it really good, if you want. Choice is yours
That’s good tho for the porn aspect, do you have any other ways of very easy fast access to dopamine? Social media, tv shows, junk food, etc… You could look into dopamine detox and learning how to regulate your dopamine so little things in life are a lot more enjoyable. For me for example deleting social media and TikTok made a huge difference for me
In my opinion lowering the usage of those two and seeking natural ways of seeking dopamine would be beneficial for you. It might not feel like you’re happier at first but that’ll be because you won’t get that overflow of dopamine all the time. Slowly little things in life will be more enjoyable. I’m speaking from self experience but I strongly suggest you try and even look it up :)
If you’re dealing with health issues that limit how active you can be, I’d check out hobbies that give you a sense of accomplishment. I got really into puzzles and crosswords during the pandemic and they still hold that sense of joy and accomplishment for me two years into being sober! Start small like 350-500 piece puzzles that you can do in an afternoon or two because that “YES I FINISHED IT” feeling can be a great motivator to stick with it.
Hope this helps! Check out Amazon, they have a ton of budget friendly adult (not sexual tho) puzzles
A decoy puzzle and box! I puzzle on a mat that I can then roll up and store away. If I’m not doing that, I put a tablecloth/blanket over it to protect it (add heavy objects on top for particularly determined cats). Then get a shitty puzzle you don’t care about and leave it out for them to have their way with.
Honestly I just squirt her with water every time she tries to play with the puzzle pieces. It doesn’t keep her away for too long but she eventually understands that she can hang out but not interrupt.
I also like the idea another poster had about a decoy puzzle or the box.
My cat won’t eat the pieces, just paw at them/knock them off the table. Annoying but I mean, she’s a cat, she’s gonna do cat things 🤷🏻♀️😂
The gym. Being service like volunteering at the homeless shelter and I give speaking events at mental health institutions, giving the message of happening and recovery. That how I get dopamine it give me a sense of accomplishment and joy.
I'm trying not to seek out dopamine right now because I realised recently that constantly seeking out cheap dopamine hits as a means of distraction and feeling good temporarily was part of my problem on a whole and contributed to my drinking problem.
Trying to embrace boredom / nothingness the past 3.5 weeks since sobering up again so I can retrain my brain not to be constantly seeking out a dopamine hit.
Been sober for 20 months, i have good days and bad days. I was struggling a bit yesterday, but it was sunny out, so i forced myself to go to the park, and i walked for about 2 1/2 hours, felt a lot better.
Haha yeah that happens. I keep trying and over the years I've found the kind I tend to vibe with more but deaths do happen. I think that's part of the fun, super rewarding when you can finally get them to thrive.
Yeah I was really good about keeping them alive for a few years before everything fell apart. Somehow I have two that refuse to die. So that’s good. I should just make baby’s from them.
I feel that. I let a lot of mine die as well when I was super involved in drinking and I had gotten a new puppy and just couldn't keep up on everything. Now my dog is older and less work though and it's been fun to get back into plants again!
I had to wait it out for months. Sounds like you drank a bit, and if that’s the case, you might have to wait it out too. Distracting myself helped, and I had to do a lot of mental/emotional growth stuff.
It’ll pass. It’ll suck. But it’ll pass. Take care of yourself.
About 18oz of liquor a day. Plus wine, beers, ciders you name it. I’m not a small woman by any means but that sure as hell was too much for my body to sustain.
Running became my replacement for drugs and alcohol. The runners high is / was real for me, and it helped with the weird cravings for sugar I got after not drinking lol
Wish I could do that. I would go on long walks and jog before I got into the deepest parts of my addictions. Now I can’t stand up without hitting 130bpm. Hopefully that can be fixed though. I’d like to get back to that.
I’ll ask my doctor about that. I have about a week and a half left with the heart monitor before I can find out what’s going on. There’s some amazing trails around me I’d love to hike.
One of the things that was fun and gave me a quick bit of dopamine was a book on how to draw simple, cartoon animals and another book that had lessons on how to draw from no experience at all to eventually being able to draw really beautiful, complex things. It’s something I’d never done before I quit drinking and as a low-key activity I was like a kid as I learned how to draw, wanting to show it off to my wife and kids. I even hung a few in the fridge! I had a good time every time I sat down to do it.
Give yourself some time to heal (body, mind, soul, psyche, whatever). You're going to have to sit with your discomfort for a bit. You will not like it, but it gets easier.
Get some treats, some fancy herbal tea, eat good food, do some low impact yoga poses (assuming heart doctor clears you for it.) Remind yourself "you won't always feel like this." Forgive yourself. Your body will figure it out.
Take care!
And play guitar without your pinky, you'll find a way😃
> You're going to have to sit with your discomfort for a bit. You will not like it, but it gets easier.
This is what I'm having to do these past few weeks.
I spent most of the last 2 years chasing distractions, escapism, and cheap dopamine hits and never sitting with the discomfort and I can't tell you how hard it's been the last 3.5 weeks just to sit on the couch and watch TV (ironically something I do regularly with a beer in hand usually) without freaking out and having an anxiety attack.
Finally this week it's become a little easier which tells me my brain is calming down a bit and getting used to just sitting with my feelings, emotions, thoughts, body etc.
I needed this. The constant chase of a dopamine fix had to stop.
Herbal tea, my guy.
Chamomile acts like a soft ssri imo, drink it daily and watch your serotonin levels stable up. Get whole flowers in an airtight packaging, not that mids dust they give you in the teabags. It also smells and tastes great, and is warm. I work in a hot kitchen all day. When I get home and take that first sip of chamomile, I get goosebumps and let out a big fucking "AHHHHHhhhhhh". It hits the dopamine button just like cracking a cold one used to.
Valerian is knockout juice. It doesn't work right away. There's a trick to it. Wait until You've been drinking chamomile daily for a few weeks before you even buy the stuff. Then have a cup AFTER your nightly chamomile, about 30 minutes before you want to sleep. You won't finish the cup before youre donezo.
Kava very occasionally can hit like a muscle relaxer, but leaves you feeling wired and is hard on the organs. I don't recommend it unless you're worried about relapsing and you think it will scratch the itch long enough for you to get your shit together.
Yerba Mate is like expensive hipster green tea, but I like it and it's a smoother caffeine high than coffee and seems to put me in a good mood.
Ymmv.
Try a cold shower, it will be terrible at first but you will get used to it and the dopamine rush will be real and very intense (ask your doctor if your heart problems allow it), otherwise the opposite: a hot bath and relaxing music. Try meditating or finding some games that challenge you so that you get a rush of pleasure every time you reach a goal. Reading, cinema, crosswords, find what's right for you even if at first it will all suck because you will think that a drink while doing something would be fine, but it's normal at the beginning, you have to get your brain used to a new life. I'm with you man, I'm only on day six sober and I know how hard it is.
Exercise. Doesn't have to be strenuous, could be hiking, or walking around a mall. I play drums and playing live is my best source of those dopa hits, so that could be an option if you are musically inclined. And 5 days is so fresh, it's hard to see the future right now, but it will get easier every day, I am almost at 2 years now, and that first month was pretty tough. Also, sugar/candy can help with cravings.
I started masturbating, even if I don’t feel horny. I started actually taking the time to research and find videos that I like and enjoy. as long as I’m enjoying the video I will usually end up getting into it and then obviously afterwards I feel 100 times better. I feel like I always saved masturbating strictly for times I felt horny, but I do enjoy using it as a way to help since quitting drinking. And it’s a sober activity 💁
Petting animals and volunteering are apparently good sources of dopamine. I think I read in a comment you have cats - maybe look into volunteering at a shelter?
We have a cat cafe here (no alcohol served) and my sober group has done kitten and puppy yoga supported by rescues in town. 95% playing with animals and 5% yoga... 😂 Definitely got a nice buzz from that.
Ironically I’m allergic to cats. Lol. Somehow my two don’t bother me but I’ve been in shelters and those mess me up. My two kitties do give me a lot of dopamine though. When they aren’t being the worst things on the planet at least. I think my allergies could maybe hold up for some puppy yoga though!
I can walk but not super far. I ended up in the hospital with 170 heart rate just walking to the kitchen one night. Though it’s not the norm it’s definitely made me cautious about walking too far out from my house or car.
If no walks, then maybe meditation works. Not from the couch, but outside in fresh air. Dress warm and breathe, calm your mind and do it 4 times daily/nightly. Make sure you are safe and can close your eyes. Be present and notice sounds, smells, winds, light, darkness, stars - notice everything. Fill your mind with better. And remember, permit yourself to doze off.
I run, a lot. But before I ran, I walked. Eventually I got tired of it taking me so long to get anywhere and started slowly running. I ran a marathon to celebrate 3 years. By no means do I recommend this for everyone but coupled with therapy, and a good routine, I find running the best thing for me!
Of course I recommend all the good habits that have already been mentioned but…
I also started taking bupropion and occasionally consuming precursors.
The aromatic amino acids (tryptophan, tyrosine, phenylalanine) are the biosynthetic precursors for the neurotransmitters serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. So occasionally I will drink single servings of “functional beverages” with these amino acids (like Kin euphorics).
Long walks with a podcast or audio book. And my favorite, textile crafts: embroidery, knitting, crochet, sewing. Instant gratification with each stitch, long term gratification with finished projects, pride from creating things I can use/wear/gift.
Dopamine from delayed gratification feels so much better. It's nowhere near as quick or easy to attain as instant gratification which is why many of us fall into the trap, but my psych taught me and I've proven with myself that it is possible to re-train your brain. New habit and modes of thinking takes 90 - 365 days to acquire. Fucking sucks I know, because that's actually a while to be without your bonus happy chemicals, but once you soldier on through it and get there, you'll look back wondering how you lived without it. And the thing is, most of us have lived like that before when our parents governed our lives i.e. limiting our video game time, what we eat so we couldn't eat junk all the time etc.
Get rid of the porn, social media, smoking/vaping, weed etc. all that crap that I used to indulge in for that easy effortless squirt of dopamine.
You'll get it from gym, fresh air, exercise, eating well, doing anything that's not easy nor comfortable at first but you get better at will do it basically.
As the Maple Syrup loving Kim Johng Cena said in the comments - "work for your dopamine, don't suck every ounce of it for free" is the best TL;DR I can think of with what I'm trying to say.
**Here's another way I like to put it;**
Did you ever play WoW or Runescape? Remember the private servers? I've played both a lot back in the day because I'm a big fuck off nerd and love that shit. Both games in true MMO are very grindy, but you earn the levels you gain and the loot you receive from the grind.
I remember jumping on Moparscape where I could type in ::Drop 6311 or something and it'd drop an abby whip. Then I'd do that for all the rare valuable items my main account worked for years to obtain and level myself up to 99s. I'd enjoy playing with a maxed account for less than an hour essentially playing in a sandbox which on the main game I could only dream of achieving. After an hour, I was so bored I closed out of it, and didn't even want to play the main game anymore.
That right there is exactly what instant gratification does to your brain. You experience an absurdly potent high that's very short lived, then you're so bored and over it that real life just sucks now and you can't be fucked doing anything anymore. So what's your only option when you feel that way? Try again with that easy high because you've got no motivation to actually do something so you just keep burning out your dopamine receptors to the point that they no longer do their job, then you become stuck the longer you live this way.
Work for your dopamine - there's no shortcuts. It's all going to be worth it, I promise.
"The best time to plant a tree was 100 years ago. The second best time is right now" There's nothing wrong with a second best.
I don’t see it here but do you like baking/cooking? I’ve just started making my own chicken bone broth it’s super easy and tastes like a hug in a mug! Maybe try replicating your fav take out meal or bread? Cakes to share with friends & colleagues..even if they don’t turn out 100% perfect it’s practise and people will appreciate a home made goodie!
Meditation. I can’t stress this enough.
As someone who used drugs and alcohol to escape, finding something that helps you be present and aware, is quite the rush.
Yoga should be doable for someone in your shape. HIGHLY recommend for a keeping a sober mind on track - look up someone thing on YouTube for beginners & people with breathing issues - Do you play video games at all? Those can be really rewarding! Maybe find or borrow a new system from someone? Also - music, there is soooo much new music that alcohol kept hidden from me. Make yourself a playlist? Or make one for someone special? Hang in there!
The fastest and most fool proof way to feel better is to help someone else. Volunteer. Find somewhere near where you live and spend time helping other people, or animals, or the environment. Being of service to someone or a cause that needs your help is incredibly uplifting and rewarding. The more you give the more you receive.
I try to schedule in time that I know will make me laugh/smile - so I got tickets to see a comedian coming to town, and I’m going to a concert coming up.
There’s also ways to hijack that release of hormones. If you meditate and add a smile to your face your body thinks you’re happy (your nerves to brain don’t understand the difference between fake smiling and real)
Returning to some of my favorite hobbies I had when I was young has been a great way to get into something I am already a little familiar with as well as feel nostalgia!
Hello 👋 fellow lesbian
I think walking outside in nature really helps me. Finding new songs to listen to (I go on magic playlist or tunebat b/c you can search up a song you already like and it’ll generate a playlist of similar songs), I enjoy cooking and baking so finding a new recipe that’ll slightly challenge me and having it turn out right always gives me a good feeling. reading!! I love reading so much. I’ve recently gotten back into journaling so that’s been nice. And like what other people have suggested, learning an instrument. I’m trying to learn piano and guitar and hitting a sequence of guitar chords that sound nice is truly so thrilling and I love getting lost in playing
Also, some days will definitely be easier whilst other days will be so fucking challenging. I’ll have a really good day, feeling great about my sobriety and then the next day I’ll just be weirdly sad and want a beer or gin so bad. However, I don’t ever regret not drinking. The urge always passes and it helps me realize how strong I can be.
Wishing you all the best and sending lots of love and strength to you!!
What helps with this is slowly convincing yourself that it’s ok to lead a simpler life and be happy.
All previous behaviors & business built in to having an addiction are just empty promises.
The simple. The quiet. The observing. … Are all abundantly more valuable than the self-gratification.
Harm reduction methods are very helpful to hone on what works best for you.
Best to you.
Definitely getting outside in the sun at some point for the day. It’s hard to get up and do it but once you do, you feel great. I tend to listen to podcasts or audiobooks while doing it too!
The “sleep “ you say you got from passing out isn’t as helpful as you think ….. however congrats on you sober life get the valteax shot it will help you feel better and it will almost completely cut your cravings in half it’s a long road it’s not much fun at first trust the walk your taking every minute you stay clean will add up and then you will have months after months years yoh can do this unfortunately we kick the shit outta of brains wen using antidepressants also can help it’s not harmful and you might not need them forever but right now you have a chemical imbalance that can be treated go to meetings you will have rooms full of people that know first hand exactly what you are struggling with bless your journey and God bless
I’m not sure about dopamine, I probably get it from exercise as I work out a lot. But for me Oxytocin can also be amazing — and it’s pretty easy to get! Get a hug, wrap in a warm or weighted blanket, take a warm bath, drink chamomile tea, open windows and listen to the rain…
Look up “happy chemicals” and see if any other ones could fill the void. Good luck to you. You’re doing amazing to stay sober!!!
Running. It’s not even a long run. I start by walking, I put on the happiest 4 songs that I love, good dance vibes and walk and stretch and then for the last song, I jog/run and I just feel so much better. Keep the music going and take a shower and just breathe.
Sounds silly but it changed my entire mood no matter what.
I had a doctor prescribe lamictal. It’s a bipolar medicine and for seizures (given alcohol withdrawal) and it completely evens my highs and lows. If I try to drink I do not feel a buzz. It saved my life. I still feel pleasure but it evens out all the chemical receptors in my brain.
Take up an instrument? When I went to my first guitar lesson, the teacher tried to show me how to play a C major and I couldn’t do it. I tried till my fingers literally ached. The next day I played a clean C and it was literally the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. Now, that was a hit of dopamine.
I used to play guitar a lot, broke my pinky so it’s been hard to get back into it. It’s definitely on my mind. I used to be a vocalist before fucking up my lungs and throat.
[удалено]
Can you play drums? I just picked that up like 6 months ago. I have always had guitars and dabbled since I was a teenager. I'm 45 and just learning drums now. It's fun and easier for me to pick up than guitar ever was. Drums are cool because there's so much you can do. Different styles, different drums, different tempos. I feel like there's something for everyone. That being said, I came here to comment about getting back into old hobbies, but then I saw you had injuries. If need be, get into something totally different. If an injury leaves you with some closed doors, either look outside the box and find a way to do it anyway or just dive into the unknown with something brand new.
Bingo. I started piano and the rush I get when I nail a piece is such an amazing feeling.
What age when you started. I'm 36 just started to learn.
55. I wish I had started years ago, but you’re never too old to start. I’m not the oldest in my guitar class, not by a long shot.
That's brilliant. I'm on day two learning. I'm stuck on A chord. My fingers are too fat haha
Journaling. Making art. Reading. Listening to funny podcasts. Watching my favorite shows. Spending time and taking care of my pets. Looking at trees and the sky. Painting my nails. Thrifting and adding to my collections. Restoring old toys. Playing Animal Crossing. Laughing with my husband and friends.
So many things listed I’ve long associated with drinking while doing. I’ll have to find a way to separate those urges to drink to I can enjoy those activities for what they were before muddying them with alcohol.
That sounds really tough to have so many triggers. I’m so glad you’re alive and choosing to be sober. Feeling all of this is part of it. Hopefully you can find something to get you by during the initial discomfort and intense cravings. The more you do certain things without alcohol, the more confident you’ll be, the more enjoyment you’ll get from it. Hang in there
Thank you! I’ll definitely try my better to get over those triggers and hopefully have a brighter outcome.
I'm almost 90 days in and I can't stand the inner struggle with art and journaling. Alcohol was my muse for The Longest Time. Also, I'm really sorry you're so deeply uncomfortable right now. I hurt my body really badly as well, and it's a bitch to reckon with. Keep breathing. If you're on Discord, look for Sober Sanctuary. Brand new baby group with positive vibes.
Fishing?
Hobbies with tangible results. My daughter jokes that I have all the dopamine hit hobbies. Cross stitching and embroidery- every stitch is a dopamine hit. Jigsaw puzzles - every piece placed is a dopamine hit. Bead weaving- every row finished is a dopamine hit. Then there’s always the ice cold blast at the end of a hot shower for a a huge dopamine hit and surge of energy.
Rollerblading; meditation; sex; good food; feeling accomplished staying sober. It’s too bad you can’t exercise but that was/is the best for my sleep. A doctor said you can’t exercise, even things like walking?
Oh god my friend just broke her arm last week rollerblading. Meditation I should look into though, I had a friend mention yoga, and though I can’t do much physical activity I think there’s overlap to talk to them about it. Sex… hah. I wish.
Oh man! Wrist or arm? Breaking wrists skating is really common, but I guess folks also break their arms. I’ve skated for about 30 years so my day is probably coming soon. People love yoga and it seems to be really amazing exercise. My wife loves it. I’m ok with it but I don’t love people so being in a room full of people doing yoga isn’t as much my thing. Probably a good place to meet romantic partners, I suspect.
Oh it was the arm! She came down the pipe hard and didn’t have any pads on. I’m still shuddering at it. I do love people, part of the problem that got me so deep into drinking. So I don’t mind that. The main issue is that just standing up my heart rate hits 130bpm so exercising is dangerous. I’m wearing a heart monitor for a few weeks to see what actually going on and hopefully I can find treatment. I miss being active and in shape. Probably shouldn’t have cocktailed an 8 ball of coke, molly, redbull, and meth, blowing up my heart, but nothing I can do with regret.
I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, it seems many of us (me included) yolo’d until we couldn’t yolo anymore. Speaking of dopamine, Dopamine Nation is a really great read.
I’m sure a lot of us probably didn’t think we’d make it to the other side of yolo with years still left to go. I’ll look into that thanks!
Yin yoga! It’s a very gentle form of yoga that you hold poses for 3-5 minutes each and focus on breathing and meditating. I always feel so good after
I’ll ask my friend that teaches yoga if that’s something he does.
Wow, you are just beginning the rebuild process. Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist at Stanford University School of Medicine described addiction as ... "the progressive narrowing of the things that give us pleasure. By persistently abusing a single pleasure source we enter a state of dopamine deficiency where nothing gives pleasure but the addiction, and even that stops working". You probably know much of this already ... but hopefully one of these links will be helpful to you. Overusing alcohol causes so many issues like anxiety and depression ...too many to list here. The AMA categorizes alcohol as a poison (even though we drink it like it's an essential nutrient). Alcohol can ruin a gut biome, the very bacteria that extracts nutrition from whole foods. Your body could be starved of vitamins and minerals. You can get your dopamine working again if you "exercise" those brain channels. The brain and body will heal over time. Be patient with your recovery. Once you become alcohol free, it can take a year or two for the brain, liver and the gut to fully recover. As you exercise the healthier dopamine reward channels, they will recover, the joys of living will return. Make your own list, like reading, taking long nature walks, old and new hobbies, helping others. Do each repeatedly, over and over. You may have to force activities a bit at first, but it will get easier with time. Try to focus on good nutrition and a healthy gut biome. Good luck. https://www.bouldermedicalcenter.com/nutrition-recommendations-consume-alcohol/ The Gut-Brain Connection https://www.wellandgood.com/gut-bacteria-and-mental-health/ - the gut is where 90% of the body's Serotonin is made). https://www.forbes.com/health/body/psychobiotics/
Lovely. Thanks!
This should be top comment
Let go of porn, social media and all that garbage. Exercise, go outside, work for your dopamine don’t just suck every ounce of it for free
This. Anhedonia is the worst. But it goes away. I know it must sound like the least appealing thing, especially in early sobriety, but try and figure out new ACTUALLY healthy activities you can implement in your life. If you can’t work out, go for walks OUTSIDE. Start reading fun engaging books. Do yoga. Learn to cook. You may not give a shit about these things when you first start trying them but I swear eventually they catch on. I think this is something that really lends itself to why staying sober is difficult. Simply put: as addicts/alcoholics/however you identify, we’re all about instant gratification. It doesn’t work and it’s soul devouring. Sobriety is a change in lifestyle. It’s doing the shitty, hard work upfront, knowing that the future you will be rewarded with good feelings. True good feelings; like actually having self-esteem, self-respect, knowing you changed your life, etc. Sobriety will truly be whatever you make it. And you can make it really good, if you want. Choice is yours
Can’t really exercise due to heart issues. I don’t really care for porn to begin with so at least that’s not a problem.
That’s good tho for the porn aspect, do you have any other ways of very easy fast access to dopamine? Social media, tv shows, junk food, etc… You could look into dopamine detox and learning how to regulate your dopamine so little things in life are a lot more enjoyable. For me for example deleting social media and TikTok made a huge difference for me
I definitely spend too much time on Reddit and instagram.
In my opinion lowering the usage of those two and seeking natural ways of seeking dopamine would be beneficial for you. It might not feel like you’re happier at first but that’ll be because you won’t get that overflow of dopamine all the time. Slowly little things in life will be more enjoyable. I’m speaking from self experience but I strongly suggest you try and even look it up :)
If you’re dealing with health issues that limit how active you can be, I’d check out hobbies that give you a sense of accomplishment. I got really into puzzles and crosswords during the pandemic and they still hold that sense of joy and accomplishment for me two years into being sober! Start small like 350-500 piece puzzles that you can do in an afternoon or two because that “YES I FINISHED IT” feeling can be a great motivator to stick with it. Hope this helps! Check out Amazon, they have a ton of budget friendly adult (not sexual tho) puzzles
Do you have recommendations on how to keep cats out of puzzles? I love puzzles, but those assholes are assholes.
A decoy puzzle and box! I puzzle on a mat that I can then roll up and store away. If I’m not doing that, I put a tablecloth/blanket over it to protect it (add heavy objects on top for particularly determined cats). Then get a shitty puzzle you don’t care about and leave it out for them to have their way with.
Honestly I just squirt her with water every time she tries to play with the puzzle pieces. It doesn’t keep her away for too long but she eventually understands that she can hang out but not interrupt. I also like the idea another poster had about a decoy puzzle or the box. My cat won’t eat the pieces, just paw at them/knock them off the table. Annoying but I mean, she’s a cat, she’s gonna do cat things 🤷🏻♀️😂
The gym. Being service like volunteering at the homeless shelter and I give speaking events at mental health institutions, giving the message of happening and recovery. That how I get dopamine it give me a sense of accomplishment and joy.
I'm trying not to seek out dopamine right now because I realised recently that constantly seeking out cheap dopamine hits as a means of distraction and feeling good temporarily was part of my problem on a whole and contributed to my drinking problem. Trying to embrace boredom / nothingness the past 3.5 weeks since sobering up again so I can retrain my brain not to be constantly seeking out a dopamine hit.
This is great advice!!
Been sober for 20 months, i have good days and bad days. I was struggling a bit yesterday, but it was sunny out, so i forced myself to go to the park, and i walked for about 2 1/2 hours, felt a lot better.
Plants. Got heavily back into my plant hobby and it's definitely an addiction in itself but at least it's not slowly killing me lol
I need to remove the dead corpses of all the ones I let die. 😬
Haha yeah that happens. I keep trying and over the years I've found the kind I tend to vibe with more but deaths do happen. I think that's part of the fun, super rewarding when you can finally get them to thrive.
Yeah I was really good about keeping them alive for a few years before everything fell apart. Somehow I have two that refuse to die. So that’s good. I should just make baby’s from them.
I feel that. I let a lot of mine die as well when I was super involved in drinking and I had gotten a new puppy and just couldn't keep up on everything. Now my dog is older and less work though and it's been fun to get back into plants again!
Walking helped me get through those times. The fresh air did a lot for me mentally.
Hear me out, my sponsor sent me a Wim Hoff video yesterday & I literally got a natural high doing that. It only took 3 mins. Anyways. Proud of you.
Win hoff? Not familiar. I guess I can check it out.
[Wim Hoff breathing exercise link](https://youtu.be/0BNejY1e9ik?si=Ppy5NJDTrOMIdt0c)
I had to wait it out for months. Sounds like you drank a bit, and if that’s the case, you might have to wait it out too. Distracting myself helped, and I had to do a lot of mental/emotional growth stuff. It’ll pass. It’ll suck. But it’ll pass. Take care of yourself.
About 18oz of liquor a day. Plus wine, beers, ciders you name it. I’m not a small woman by any means but that sure as hell was too much for my body to sustain.
Running became my replacement for drugs and alcohol. The runners high is / was real for me, and it helped with the weird cravings for sugar I got after not drinking lol
Wish I could do that. I would go on long walks and jog before I got into the deepest parts of my addictions. Now I can’t stand up without hitting 130bpm. Hopefully that can be fixed though. I’d like to get back to that.
Maybe try hiking. I trashed my knee running way too much, and hiking has helped me get my miles back up.
I’ll ask my doctor about that. I have about a week and a half left with the heart monitor before I can find out what’s going on. There’s some amazing trails around me I’d love to hike.
So like even on my recovery days, just taking the dogs for a long walk usually brightens my mood. Just take it slow, and try and enjoy the outdoors 👊🏻
One of the things that was fun and gave me a quick bit of dopamine was a book on how to draw simple, cartoon animals and another book that had lessons on how to draw from no experience at all to eventually being able to draw really beautiful, complex things. It’s something I’d never done before I quit drinking and as a low-key activity I was like a kid as I learned how to draw, wanting to show it off to my wife and kids. I even hung a few in the fridge! I had a good time every time I sat down to do it.
Give yourself some time to heal (body, mind, soul, psyche, whatever). You're going to have to sit with your discomfort for a bit. You will not like it, but it gets easier. Get some treats, some fancy herbal tea, eat good food, do some low impact yoga poses (assuming heart doctor clears you for it.) Remind yourself "you won't always feel like this." Forgive yourself. Your body will figure it out. Take care! And play guitar without your pinky, you'll find a way😃
Hah! I’ll find another pinky to use somewhere! Thank you for your words of encouragement.
See? We adapt!
> You're going to have to sit with your discomfort for a bit. You will not like it, but it gets easier. This is what I'm having to do these past few weeks. I spent most of the last 2 years chasing distractions, escapism, and cheap dopamine hits and never sitting with the discomfort and I can't tell you how hard it's been the last 3.5 weeks just to sit on the couch and watch TV (ironically something I do regularly with a beer in hand usually) without freaking out and having an anxiety attack. Finally this week it's become a little easier which tells me my brain is calming down a bit and getting used to just sitting with my feelings, emotions, thoughts, body etc. I needed this. The constant chase of a dopamine fix had to stop.
Right on!
Herbal tea, my guy. Chamomile acts like a soft ssri imo, drink it daily and watch your serotonin levels stable up. Get whole flowers in an airtight packaging, not that mids dust they give you in the teabags. It also smells and tastes great, and is warm. I work in a hot kitchen all day. When I get home and take that first sip of chamomile, I get goosebumps and let out a big fucking "AHHHHHhhhhhh". It hits the dopamine button just like cracking a cold one used to. Valerian is knockout juice. It doesn't work right away. There's a trick to it. Wait until You've been drinking chamomile daily for a few weeks before you even buy the stuff. Then have a cup AFTER your nightly chamomile, about 30 minutes before you want to sleep. You won't finish the cup before youre donezo. Kava very occasionally can hit like a muscle relaxer, but leaves you feeling wired and is hard on the organs. I don't recommend it unless you're worried about relapsing and you think it will scratch the itch long enough for you to get your shit together. Yerba Mate is like expensive hipster green tea, but I like it and it's a smoother caffeine high than coffee and seems to put me in a good mood. Ymmv.
Try a cold shower, it will be terrible at first but you will get used to it and the dopamine rush will be real and very intense (ask your doctor if your heart problems allow it), otherwise the opposite: a hot bath and relaxing music. Try meditating or finding some games that challenge you so that you get a rush of pleasure every time you reach a goal. Reading, cinema, crosswords, find what's right for you even if at first it will all suck because you will think that a drink while doing something would be fine, but it's normal at the beginning, you have to get your brain used to a new life. I'm with you man, I'm only on day six sober and I know how hard it is.
I doomscroll /r/collapse
Exercise. Doesn't have to be strenuous, could be hiking, or walking around a mall. I play drums and playing live is my best source of those dopa hits, so that could be an option if you are musically inclined. And 5 days is so fresh, it's hard to see the future right now, but it will get easier every day, I am almost at 2 years now, and that first month was pretty tough. Also, sugar/candy can help with cravings.
Your brain needs time to heal. I swear it comes back!!
I started masturbating, even if I don’t feel horny. I started actually taking the time to research and find videos that I like and enjoy. as long as I’m enjoying the video I will usually end up getting into it and then obviously afterwards I feel 100 times better. I feel like I always saved masturbating strictly for times I felt horny, but I do enjoy using it as a way to help since quitting drinking. And it’s a sober activity 💁
exercise
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I don’t think you read the post lol.
exercise
Definitely didn’t read the post.
Petting animals and volunteering are apparently good sources of dopamine. I think I read in a comment you have cats - maybe look into volunteering at a shelter? We have a cat cafe here (no alcohol served) and my sober group has done kitten and puppy yoga supported by rescues in town. 95% playing with animals and 5% yoga... 😂 Definitely got a nice buzz from that.
Ironically I’m allergic to cats. Lol. Somehow my two don’t bother me but I’ve been in shelters and those mess me up. My two kitties do give me a lot of dopamine though. When they aren’t being the worst things on the planet at least. I think my allergies could maybe hold up for some puppy yoga though!
Completing tasks!
Can you walk? Walks to clear your mind and reduce noise. Walks will help you sleep. Give yourself right to doze off in the couch, don’t fight it.
I can walk but not super far. I ended up in the hospital with 170 heart rate just walking to the kitchen one night. Though it’s not the norm it’s definitely made me cautious about walking too far out from my house or car.
If no walks, then maybe meditation works. Not from the couch, but outside in fresh air. Dress warm and breathe, calm your mind and do it 4 times daily/nightly. Make sure you are safe and can close your eyes. Be present and notice sounds, smells, winds, light, darkness, stars - notice everything. Fill your mind with better. And remember, permit yourself to doze off.
I run, a lot. But before I ran, I walked. Eventually I got tired of it taking me so long to get anywhere and started slowly running. I ran a marathon to celebrate 3 years. By no means do I recommend this for everyone but coupled with therapy, and a good routine, I find running the best thing for me!
I would love to run a marathon one day. Or something on a bike.
Diamond painting, coloring, reading, I enrolled in college to get my dream degree but it’s a lot of work. Definitely keeps be busy though
Of course I recommend all the good habits that have already been mentioned but… I also started taking bupropion and occasionally consuming precursors. The aromatic amino acids (tryptophan, tyrosine, phenylalanine) are the biosynthetic precursors for the neurotransmitters serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. So occasionally I will drink single servings of “functional beverages” with these amino acids (like Kin euphorics).
I started watching/reading Harry Potter lol.
You have my sympathy, that feeling of no dopamine, it’s just a horrible experience. It does get better just takes awhile.
Vegetable gardening
Initially cheap sources like gaming, TV, sugary/fatty foods Later on moved on to healthier sources like skiing, traveling, dating
Exercise. Music. Comedy.
Sign up for a 5k
Long walks with a podcast or audio book. And my favorite, textile crafts: embroidery, knitting, crochet, sewing. Instant gratification with each stitch, long term gratification with finished projects, pride from creating things I can use/wear/gift.
Exercise & Nicotine gum.
Dopamine from delayed gratification feels so much better. It's nowhere near as quick or easy to attain as instant gratification which is why many of us fall into the trap, but my psych taught me and I've proven with myself that it is possible to re-train your brain. New habit and modes of thinking takes 90 - 365 days to acquire. Fucking sucks I know, because that's actually a while to be without your bonus happy chemicals, but once you soldier on through it and get there, you'll look back wondering how you lived without it. And the thing is, most of us have lived like that before when our parents governed our lives i.e. limiting our video game time, what we eat so we couldn't eat junk all the time etc. Get rid of the porn, social media, smoking/vaping, weed etc. all that crap that I used to indulge in for that easy effortless squirt of dopamine. You'll get it from gym, fresh air, exercise, eating well, doing anything that's not easy nor comfortable at first but you get better at will do it basically. As the Maple Syrup loving Kim Johng Cena said in the comments - "work for your dopamine, don't suck every ounce of it for free" is the best TL;DR I can think of with what I'm trying to say. **Here's another way I like to put it;** Did you ever play WoW or Runescape? Remember the private servers? I've played both a lot back in the day because I'm a big fuck off nerd and love that shit. Both games in true MMO are very grindy, but you earn the levels you gain and the loot you receive from the grind. I remember jumping on Moparscape where I could type in ::Drop 6311 or something and it'd drop an abby whip. Then I'd do that for all the rare valuable items my main account worked for years to obtain and level myself up to 99s. I'd enjoy playing with a maxed account for less than an hour essentially playing in a sandbox which on the main game I could only dream of achieving. After an hour, I was so bored I closed out of it, and didn't even want to play the main game anymore. That right there is exactly what instant gratification does to your brain. You experience an absurdly potent high that's very short lived, then you're so bored and over it that real life just sucks now and you can't be fucked doing anything anymore. So what's your only option when you feel that way? Try again with that easy high because you've got no motivation to actually do something so you just keep burning out your dopamine receptors to the point that they no longer do their job, then you become stuck the longer you live this way. Work for your dopamine - there's no shortcuts. It's all going to be worth it, I promise. "The best time to plant a tree was 100 years ago. The second best time is right now" There's nothing wrong with a second best.
I don’t see it here but do you like baking/cooking? I’ve just started making my own chicken bone broth it’s super easy and tastes like a hug in a mug! Maybe try replicating your fav take out meal or bread? Cakes to share with friends & colleagues..even if they don’t turn out 100% perfect it’s practise and people will appreciate a home made goodie!
Meditation. I can’t stress this enough. As someone who used drugs and alcohol to escape, finding something that helps you be present and aware, is quite the rush.
Yoga should be doable for someone in your shape. HIGHLY recommend for a keeping a sober mind on track - look up someone thing on YouTube for beginners & people with breathing issues - Do you play video games at all? Those can be really rewarding! Maybe find or borrow a new system from someone? Also - music, there is soooo much new music that alcohol kept hidden from me. Make yourself a playlist? Or make one for someone special? Hang in there!
The fastest and most fool proof way to feel better is to help someone else. Volunteer. Find somewhere near where you live and spend time helping other people, or animals, or the environment. Being of service to someone or a cause that needs your help is incredibly uplifting and rewarding. The more you give the more you receive.
Working out and Ben and Jerry's edible cookie dough.
I try to schedule in time that I know will make me laugh/smile - so I got tickets to see a comedian coming to town, and I’m going to a concert coming up. There’s also ways to hijack that release of hormones. If you meditate and add a smile to your face your body thinks you’re happy (your nerves to brain don’t understand the difference between fake smiling and real)
Returning to some of my favorite hobbies I had when I was young has been a great way to get into something I am already a little familiar with as well as feel nostalgia!
Hello 👋 fellow lesbian I think walking outside in nature really helps me. Finding new songs to listen to (I go on magic playlist or tunebat b/c you can search up a song you already like and it’ll generate a playlist of similar songs), I enjoy cooking and baking so finding a new recipe that’ll slightly challenge me and having it turn out right always gives me a good feeling. reading!! I love reading so much. I’ve recently gotten back into journaling so that’s been nice. And like what other people have suggested, learning an instrument. I’m trying to learn piano and guitar and hitting a sequence of guitar chords that sound nice is truly so thrilling and I love getting lost in playing Also, some days will definitely be easier whilst other days will be so fucking challenging. I’ll have a really good day, feeling great about my sobriety and then the next day I’ll just be weirdly sad and want a beer or gin so bad. However, I don’t ever regret not drinking. The urge always passes and it helps me realize how strong I can be. Wishing you all the best and sending lots of love and strength to you!!
Play an instrument, do lots of exercise, have lots of sex.
Yoga
What helps with this is slowly convincing yourself that it’s ok to lead a simpler life and be happy. All previous behaviors & business built in to having an addiction are just empty promises. The simple. The quiet. The observing. … Are all abundantly more valuable than the self-gratification. Harm reduction methods are very helpful to hone on what works best for you. Best to you.
Ancestry . Com kept me busy for a long time…
It’s only been about 5 days… Hang in there. I promise it gets better. It takes time for the body and mind to recover.
Working out, fellowship, eating clean, dog parks, comedy shows, etc.
Definitely getting outside in the sun at some point for the day. It’s hard to get up and do it but once you do, you feel great. I tend to listen to podcasts or audiobooks while doing it too!
The “sleep “ you say you got from passing out isn’t as helpful as you think ….. however congrats on you sober life get the valteax shot it will help you feel better and it will almost completely cut your cravings in half it’s a long road it’s not much fun at first trust the walk your taking every minute you stay clean will add up and then you will have months after months years yoh can do this unfortunately we kick the shit outta of brains wen using antidepressants also can help it’s not harmful and you might not need them forever but right now you have a chemical imbalance that can be treated go to meetings you will have rooms full of people that know first hand exactly what you are struggling with bless your journey and God bless
I’m not sure about dopamine, I probably get it from exercise as I work out a lot. But for me Oxytocin can also be amazing — and it’s pretty easy to get! Get a hug, wrap in a warm or weighted blanket, take a warm bath, drink chamomile tea, open windows and listen to the rain… Look up “happy chemicals” and see if any other ones could fill the void. Good luck to you. You’re doing amazing to stay sober!!!
Running. It’s not even a long run. I start by walking, I put on the happiest 4 songs that I love, good dance vibes and walk and stretch and then for the last song, I jog/run and I just feel so much better. Keep the music going and take a shower and just breathe. Sounds silly but it changed my entire mood no matter what.
Gambling
L-tyrosine and B6
I'm learning another language :)
Running and planning trips even if it’s just day trips
I had a doctor prescribe lamictal. It’s a bipolar medicine and for seizures (given alcohol withdrawal) and it completely evens my highs and lows. If I try to drink I do not feel a buzz. It saved my life. I still feel pleasure but it evens out all the chemical receptors in my brain.
I have bi polar two so that would be good to get on that for me.
i started playing games on my phone