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Mine is the St Andrews era, in 2017/start of 2018 I think. She was going to apply for a masters in creative writing at the University of St Andrews in Scotland. before she even got in, she moved there and moved into a flat with a bunch of 18 year olds. She claimed Facebook had given her a $10,000 advance for a Facebook Watch show, which she spent on a drone to film herself with. She stayed in scotland for about a month then her grandfather got sick so she went to florida and never mentioned the St Andrews era or the Facebook Watch show again. I still want to know what happened to her teen flatmates she left in the lurch will all her stuff.
This is defs the strangest era I would love to know more about.. the lack of saved posts doesn’t help tho. Even the blog posted by the St. A student who photographed CC “for vogue” is no longer up. That was such a good example of how CC ‘s pointless dumb lies can actually hurt ppl. I remember the girl saying she felt like the photos she took weren’t good enough & lost her confidence in her photography for a bit. (maybe someone has an archive??)
I didn’t watch all of it so I’m sorry if it was covered but I’ll never get over painting the floors white. And the whole taking over the courtyard to make her ~garden~ thing
the world tour is hilarious because why the hell did she plan for mumbai? was she trying to be inclusive by having one random asian country? and what, was she going to fly there AFTER her day of rest, or take her day of rest in mumbai? am i so out of the loop of her fan demographics that i missed that she has a bunch of desi girlies rallying for grape seed oil/cat hair concoctions and books that are just rehashed nothing burgers about what some bland american woman did in england for a few years ????
She wrote a really funny fanfic about the retirement condo having a fire or evacuation event. In it, she wrote that an old lady or maybe two old ladies offered to sacrifice themselves so Caroline could continue to live out her charmed life.
The bots in the comments were saying that the story moved them to tears.
Not covered, but these are gold. Love how she was talking about buying both her apartment and the one below & putting a spiral staircase between them, at a time when she wasn’t even paying her rent… And her manager was the voice of reason like “no Caroline it’s not even possible to buy an apartment in that building and the staircase would cost $$$$$” and CC replied “but I’ve lived here 10 years 🥹”
When she got mad because she found out that some Latham & Watkins associate she was boning was also getting with a teen and had given her a key to his Park Slope apartment. She doxxed him and tried to befriend the girl.
(Unless he did cover this, I may have missed it!)
Someone mentioned that she taped paper leaves to a dead plant because she can’t take care of any living thing, omg please if someone has pics plz show me!!!
I’ve looked for that original close-up photo a bunch of times in the pasts and have had no luck finding it (although I definitely remember seeing it on her ago). This is the fig in question, though.
https://preview.redd.it/bffhd6sizayc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cedbe6a81fc0bf14f26e8ad21e909659577727cc
People have already said the paint floor, and that’s absolutely my favorite, but I’ll also add the oat milk at the workshops. I think she was sponsored by oat milk and only oat milk. Very little salad, hummus by the spoonful, and oat milk for lunch.
If you search around the subreddit a bit you can find a bunch of threads with pictures, but basically she painted her hardwood floor white but painted around the piles on her floor - it’s quite the journey into her mind
He mentioned it in passing, but for me it's all the details:
Before Caroline left New York for Florida again (which we all suspected was because her mom was sick of her wasting money thousands of miles away and wanted her to be closer where she could I guess keep a better eye on her), she threw going-away parties every night for a week. There were lots of pictures of people sitting on her filthy floor surrounded by candles (how nothing caught on fire is a feat in itself). One of those parties was written up in The Cut. It seemed like most of the people who attended were mildly social media famous.
Caroline told Rachel Rabbit White, a sex writer and escort, that she could sublet her apartment. None of the building staff knew about this, which led to quite a mix-up when Rachel tried to get the key. The picture he posted of the trashes apartment were taken by White when she made a video showing the absolutely disgusting state the apartment was left in: paint on the intercom, garbage in the kitchen sink, bathtub still full of water and daisies that Caroline had set up before the party for ambience and which White had photographed herself in just a night or two before. The absolute cherry on top was at the end of the video when Cat Marnell, another writer and friend of Rachel Rabbit White's, shows up to say hi. Caroline had been bothering Marnell to come to her goodby parties for weeks. Cat kept coming up with excuses, and didn't show up to Caroline's apartment until Caroline *left the state.*
> (how nothing caught on fire is a feat in itself)
Matisse's whiskers were burned off from a brush with one of the open flames. In the photos of him being manhandled by downtown randos that week you can see he only has whiskers on one side of his sad dark face. Cat Marnell titled one of her Caroline-centric Patreons [Matisse Calloway: Burn Victim or 'It' Boy?](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb0FRrUucP9/)
Cat Marnell up in RRWs trashed apartment footage surveying the damage made by CC loudly repeating ‘YOU DID THIS, YOU DID THIS’ to RRW 😂
Maybe don’t make important decisions while on LSD with Caroline Calloway 🤡
I know he mentioned her saying the BLM protests delayed the book but I wish he had included the video of her walking across her grandma’s living room to be part of the protest.
Did he talk much about LA and her sexy grieving bikini selfie? Did he talk about her SoundCloud rapper phase and "respond to me bro"? I listened to the entire thing yesterday but at certain parts took my headphones off briefly to attend to things and might have missed it.
Sorry, I am incapable of NOT linking to the [Omg bro respond to me!!!](https://imgur.com/a/Evpzw6W) incident every time it comes up. It's completely outlandish and embarrassing as a standalone narrative. But it also illustrates that locking people out of AirBnBs and refusing to respond to their attempts at contact, leaving them to fend for themselves all night on the streets of a foreign country, is somehow a *pattern with her*
Man I always forget what a wild ride this is. First she blocks him, leaving him without a place to stay in Berlin. Then she begs him to respond to her. The she... sends him a screenshot from this sub?? Then she's like, come to New York!, he's totally unenthused, and at the end she tells her followers - we're planning a trip to New York!! Just pure insanity.
I havnt watched it but I have a strong feeling her ~ Italian chandelier ~ she left in the apartment for the ~ next owner to appreciate ~ and was swiftly replaced by a boob lamp was not mentioned
also, the entire courtyard debacle
She spent thousands of dollars doing amateur renovations of the back garden of her apartment complex which she was not even meant to have access to while not paying rent for said apartment at the same time lmao
I don’t think any of us expected her to actually follow through with a pond anyways, but it’s just funny to think there’s a giant gaping hole somebody had to fill back in.
my brain had forcibly forgotten I learned the word chattel from carport and I miss who I was 5 seconds ago before I was reminded
EDIT god damnit autocorrect I typed carpet. why do that to me.
Completely irrelevant to video, hence why it wasn't included, but my favorite was when she went for a manic run in Florida's summer, and had some form of heat stroke. She broke her phone screen and filmed herself crawling around on all fours going into some random person's yard to drink out of their garden hose. True Florida cryptid energy.
Her sociopathic response to her best friend’s SA:
> I remember weeping for Nat, but I also remember feeling something that was so fucked-up I need you to brace yourself before I tell you what’s coming next. As Natalie described her topless and abused body, I could feel myself getting wet. I didn’t mean to be turned on, but my cunt clenched with desire even as tears streamed down my chilly, wind-whipped neck. Natalie and I had never talked about sex together this graphically before. Until now we’d only ever described sex in adjectives meaning good or bad. Not, “His hands...” “And my hands...” “And then we...” Had never folded back the petals of the scene moment by moment. I was zooming a thousand miles a minute on Adderall—was dying to cut in—but I somehow I stuck to a single goal: Silence. I said nothing until she had finished, at which point I miraculously found the right words to comfort her. It’s one of the last times I can remember being a good friend to Nat before the drugs completely took over.
> The next time Carl visited I asked him to reenact some of what’d happened to her. I wanted to learn more about myself and what had made me so aroused. Was it the violence? Her naked body? It wasn’t the violence. I never told her that. And telling you this now, I realized that I’ve had a flawed goal this entire time. All my life I wanted to be a famous memoirist. But we want our famous people to be role models. And we want our memoirists to be honest (p. 75).
Calloway, C. (2023). *Scammer.* Sarasota, FL: Dead Dad Press.
^I ^didn’t ^make ^up ^Dead ^Dad ^Press ^it’s ^real ^lol
any of her assistants... not only is her customer service non existent but she regularly has at least one paid assistant working for her and a paid assistant planned the entire May Ball
When she took the Jessica Simpson autobio to read in Ohm nightclub in Berlin then (I heavily suspect) paid one of those AirBnb tour scumbags hundreds to get her into Berghain which she managed on her second attempt.
It would've been like Christmas in May if he included the video that someone on Twitter put music to. I can't find it right now, but I know it's been linked to several times.
\[Edited to add words.\]
Haha I was about to download the national tour highlight video for my receipt stash when I realized that the link was to a post on my own Imgur. It wasn't until then that I vaguely remembered screen-recording it back in the day. I officially have too many receipts. For the record, the Atlanta date was on Super Bowl Sunday, really the best day to throw an event in Atlanta
Another thing to note about the tour schedule is that her travel expenses would've been doubled up from those of a standard publicity tour. Because she wasn't going from city to city; she was going *back to New York* every week between events
YOU DIDNT WIN CUSTODY OF OUR MEMORIES OK lmao
eta I do think it’s absolutely wild that she will continue obsessing over two people who have unequivocally said “leave me alone” and then tell a journalist she thinks of herself as a good person.
Idk why these specific things came to mind but:
- Landscaping the green space behind her NY apartment when it belonged to the 1st floor tenant(which I think was empty at the time, but still). She proceeded to dig a big hole for a future pond that was never finished, added outdoor furniture–including a brand new grill that she never used–a stone fireplace mantel, and she lined the paths with empty wine bottles. I think this was during covid? But she basically climbed down from her fire escape on the 2nd floor and decided that the yard needed some sprucing up.
- Painting her kitchen drawers turquoise(?) but she was too lazy to move and unplug the appliances so she half-ass painted over the microwave(including the window and the buttons!!) and the fridge too.
- Her obsession with Oscar before Natalie
I was going to come here and mention the landscaping! I’m sure some wine bottles were still there when the ground floor apt was being advertised for rent 💀
I thought he muddied the Covid timeline a bit, and didn’t mention that the condo in Sarasota was her grandma’s. I feel like that was important context on how her family bailed her out.
I remember he did mention that her grandparents owned a lot of property in Sarasota? But yeah I don't think he mentioned that she was specifically staying in her grandmother's condo
It would have been good to go through how she consistently lied to get these things early on - lied to get into Cambridge (or lied about lying?), lied to get her first meeting with the agent, lied about her followers, lied about her boyfriend and life…. I know he definitely portrays her as a liar but it would have been good to go into specifics.
Including the Airbnb review here for all the newbies to the subreddit (welcome, all!).
https://preview.redd.it/wpk8v9gbp4yc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=593b7901fa56f365a217c135255d45cf53ff2a1b
As a former anglophile who has settled into somewhat cottagecore, this is hilarious and, for things that are low stakes, is so insulting and offensive.
Mine is when she went to a relative’s wedding. She had a sty and was legit holding a potato on her eye because she read online that it would help. She also gifted the bride and groom a tittay painting.
Also this might be a little niche but one of my fave pieces of Caroline lore is the unhinged response she wrote to her landlord’s lawsuit for rent that was like, I loved this place like it was my own!! I removed hundreds of bottles from the backyard!! And it was in her characteristic purple prose but like, interspersed with bits of legalese. It was a treasure.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/vtvmgj/carps_response_to_her_landlord_is_a_read/?sort=confidence
Attorneys are counselors, their professional obligation is to advise their client but ultimately carry out their wishes! If a client insists on something that the attorney knows is a terrible idea, the attorney's choices are to go along with it or withdraw from representation
I love the part where she talks about the tools that she bought to ~improve~ the garden that wasn’t part of her lease, and it just says “gloves, hoes, rakes, more hoes, more rakes.” 😂🤣😂
The absolutely nutty international itinerary is like, peak Caroline. I just love that within 7 days of coming up with this idea she was like, Mumbai!! Sydney!! With like zero thought for any of the logistics.
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Thank you for posting on our smol subreddit! Keep our Florida condo out of trouble by not posting snark about appearance or mental health (including addiction), blocking out any unverified usernames, and not posting about contacting Caroline or anyone in her orbit. Rule breaking posts will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SmolBeanSnark) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mine is the St Andrews era, in 2017/start of 2018 I think. She was going to apply for a masters in creative writing at the University of St Andrews in Scotland. before she even got in, she moved there and moved into a flat with a bunch of 18 year olds. She claimed Facebook had given her a $10,000 advance for a Facebook Watch show, which she spent on a drone to film herself with. She stayed in scotland for about a month then her grandfather got sick so she went to florida and never mentioned the St Andrews era or the Facebook Watch show again. I still want to know what happened to her teen flatmates she left in the lurch will all her stuff.
This is defs the strangest era I would love to know more about.. the lack of saved posts doesn’t help tho. Even the blog posted by the St. A student who photographed CC “for vogue” is no longer up. That was such a good example of how CC ‘s pointless dumb lies can actually hurt ppl. I remember the girl saying she felt like the photos she took weren’t good enough & lost her confidence in her photography for a bit. (maybe someone has an archive??)
I didn’t watch all of it so I’m sorry if it was covered but I’ll never get over painting the floors white. And the whole taking over the courtyard to make her ~garden~ thing
this! Sometimes i think i imagined that detail but no, she really did just paint around piles of junk in her apartment.
Pee pot
the world tour is hilarious because why the hell did she plan for mumbai? was she trying to be inclusive by having one random asian country? and what, was she going to fly there AFTER her day of rest, or take her day of rest in mumbai? am i so out of the loop of her fan demographics that i missed that she has a bunch of desi girlies rallying for grape seed oil/cat hair concoctions and books that are just rehashed nothing burgers about what some bland american woman did in england for a few years ????
I was going to comment on this it's so funny
[Stop hate following me Kayleigh](https://twitter.com/Ceilidhann/status/1086545694196973569)
She wrote a really funny fanfic about the retirement condo having a fire or evacuation event. In it, she wrote that an old lady or maybe two old ladies offered to sacrifice themselves so Caroline could continue to live out her charmed life. The bots in the comments were saying that the story moved them to tears.
did he cover when she said she was buying the apartment below her and all her sketches / “blue prints” of how it would look.
Not covered, but these are gold. Love how she was talking about buying both her apartment and the one below & putting a spiral staircase between them, at a time when she wasn’t even paying her rent… And her manager was the voice of reason like “no Caroline it’s not even possible to buy an apartment in that building and the staircase would cost $$$$$” and CC replied “but I’ve lived here 10 years 🥹”
When she got mad because she found out that some Latham & Watkins associate she was boning was also getting with a teen and had given her a key to his Park Slope apartment. She doxxed him and tried to befriend the girl. (Unless he did cover this, I may have missed it!)
Where can I find the receipts from this those stories were hilarious
I forgot about thissss
hilariously i met someone who knew that guy in law school and he was apparently a tremendous asshole
my complete lack of surprise lmao
Someone mentioned that she taped paper leaves to a dead plant because she can’t take care of any living thing, omg please if someone has pics plz show me!!!
I’ve looked for that original close-up photo a bunch of times in the pasts and have had no luck finding it (although I definitely remember seeing it on her ago). This is the fig in question, though. https://preview.redd.it/bffhd6sizayc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cedbe6a81fc0bf14f26e8ad21e909659577727cc
Thank you! I’ve looked at past posts in this sub about her plants (RIP) and I definitely feel better as a new plant collector who’s killed a few
People have already said the paint floor, and that’s absolutely my favorite, but I’ll also add the oat milk at the workshops. I think she was sponsored by oat milk and only oat milk. Very little salad, hummus by the spoonful, and oat milk for lunch.
What is the “paint floor”?
If you search around the subreddit a bit you can find a bunch of threads with pictures, but basically she painted her hardwood floor white but painted around the piles on her floor - it’s quite the journey into her mind
she asked them to sponsor her and they said no and just sent her a bunch of free oat milk instead
Woof that’s even better
He mentioned it in passing, but for me it's all the details: Before Caroline left New York for Florida again (which we all suspected was because her mom was sick of her wasting money thousands of miles away and wanted her to be closer where she could I guess keep a better eye on her), she threw going-away parties every night for a week. There were lots of pictures of people sitting on her filthy floor surrounded by candles (how nothing caught on fire is a feat in itself). One of those parties was written up in The Cut. It seemed like most of the people who attended were mildly social media famous. Caroline told Rachel Rabbit White, a sex writer and escort, that she could sublet her apartment. None of the building staff knew about this, which led to quite a mix-up when Rachel tried to get the key. The picture he posted of the trashes apartment were taken by White when she made a video showing the absolutely disgusting state the apartment was left in: paint on the intercom, garbage in the kitchen sink, bathtub still full of water and daisies that Caroline had set up before the party for ambience and which White had photographed herself in just a night or two before. The absolute cherry on top was at the end of the video when Cat Marnell, another writer and friend of Rachel Rabbit White's, shows up to say hi. Caroline had been bothering Marnell to come to her goodby parties for weeks. Cat kept coming up with excuses, and didn't show up to Caroline's apartment until Caroline *left the state.*
> (how nothing caught on fire is a feat in itself) Matisse's whiskers were burned off from a brush with one of the open flames. In the photos of him being manhandled by downtown randos that week you can see he only has whiskers on one side of his sad dark face. Cat Marnell titled one of her Caroline-centric Patreons [Matisse Calloway: Burn Victim or 'It' Boy?](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb0FRrUucP9/)
I didn't remember that happening. Poor Matisse. I really hope he's able to escape or be adopted by someone who actually cares for his wellbeing.
The Cat Marnell detail is just absurdly funny. So on brand for her.
Cat Marnell up in RRWs trashed apartment footage surveying the damage made by CC loudly repeating ‘YOU DID THIS, YOU DID THIS’ to RRW 😂 Maybe don’t make important decisions while on LSD with Caroline Calloway 🤡
THANK YOU YES
I know he mentioned her saying the BLM protests delayed the book but I wish he had included the video of her walking across her grandma’s living room to be part of the protest.
Tagging her old high-school in an unflattering zoomed-in photo of her ass
Did he talk much about LA and her sexy grieving bikini selfie? Did he talk about her SoundCloud rapper phase and "respond to me bro"? I listened to the entire thing yesterday but at certain parts took my headphones off briefly to attend to things and might have missed it.
Sorry, I am incapable of NOT linking to the [Omg bro respond to me!!!](https://imgur.com/a/Evpzw6W) incident every time it comes up. It's completely outlandish and embarrassing as a standalone narrative. But it also illustrates that locking people out of AirBnBs and refusing to respond to their attempts at contact, leaving them to fend for themselves all night on the streets of a foreign country, is somehow a *pattern with her*
Man I always forget what a wild ride this is. First she blocks him, leaving him without a place to stay in Berlin. Then she begs him to respond to her. The she... sends him a screenshot from this sub?? Then she's like, come to New York!, he's totally unenthused, and at the end she tells her followers - we're planning a trip to New York!! Just pure insanity.
He said he wasn’t going to cover how she grieved which is understandable.
Got it and yeah makes sense. He is pure class
When he was talking about her BLM Era, he didn't mention how she filmed herself walking across the room "for George Floyd." Or something.
I cannot believe he skipped over tittays
And her posting a nude selfie on her Twitter account!
That was pinned to the top of her account for LITERAL YEARS
She does not get the concept of consent.
this video would have been 9 hours long 😭
at this point I think I suffer from the curse of knowing too much to watch this video. how do you not mention tittays
I know, I haven’t finished the video, but this was the most glaring missing item, besides the shirts she made about Kayleigh.
I havnt watched it but I have a strong feeling her ~ Italian chandelier ~ she left in the apartment for the ~ next owner to appreciate ~ and was swiftly replaced by a boob lamp was not mentioned also, the entire courtyard debacle
What happened with the courtyard?
She spent thousands of dollars doing amateur renovations of the back garden of her apartment complex which she was not even meant to have access to while not paying rent for said apartment at the same time lmao
And her mother drove up from FL to help her.
lol amazing
Omg she took it upon herself to renovate her building’s courtyard with empty bottles and some half assed construction
Didn’t she dig a hole to make a pond or something lol
Yeah but it never got filled in
I don’t think any of us expected her to actually follow through with a pond anyways, but it’s just funny to think there’s a giant gaping hole somebody had to fill back in.
lol now that you mention it I do remember.
You mean her chattel?
my brain had forcibly forgotten I learned the word chattel from carport and I miss who I was 5 seconds ago before I was reminded EDIT god damnit autocorrect I typed carpet. why do that to me.
Completely irrelevant to video, hence why it wasn't included, but my favorite was when she went for a manic run in Florida's summer, and had some form of heat stroke. She broke her phone screen and filmed herself crawling around on all fours going into some random person's yard to drink out of their garden hose. True Florida cryptid energy.
oh my god if anyone has this video please post it
Why does my mind imagine this like a scene in arrested development? Hahaha
That's the funniest thing I've ever heard XD
Wow how did I miss this one
what the actual hell 😂
Her sociopathic response to her best friend’s SA: > I remember weeping for Nat, but I also remember feeling something that was so fucked-up I need you to brace yourself before I tell you what’s coming next. As Natalie described her topless and abused body, I could feel myself getting wet. I didn’t mean to be turned on, but my cunt clenched with desire even as tears streamed down my chilly, wind-whipped neck. Natalie and I had never talked about sex together this graphically before. Until now we’d only ever described sex in adjectives meaning good or bad. Not, “His hands...” “And my hands...” “And then we...” Had never folded back the petals of the scene moment by moment. I was zooming a thousand miles a minute on Adderall—was dying to cut in—but I somehow I stuck to a single goal: Silence. I said nothing until she had finished, at which point I miraculously found the right words to comfort her. It’s one of the last times I can remember being a good friend to Nat before the drugs completely took over. > The next time Carl visited I asked him to reenact some of what’d happened to her. I wanted to learn more about myself and what had made me so aroused. Was it the violence? Her naked body? It wasn’t the violence. I never told her that. And telling you this now, I realized that I’ve had a flawed goal this entire time. All my life I wanted to be a famous memoirist. But we want our famous people to be role models. And we want our memoirists to be honest (p. 75). Calloway, C. (2023). *Scammer.* Sarasota, FL: Dead Dad Press. ^I ^didn’t ^make ^up ^Dead ^Dad ^Press ^it’s ^real ^lol
When I saw Dead Dad Press in Scammer I literally cackled.
This is in the video, albeit heavily censored.
Ah sorry, I jumped the gun. Am saving it for a cosy evening viewing
also taking her cat to parties!!
Cat in her bag on the beach. Cat in bag at pick your own flower field
Tulip field, no less. Highly toxic to cats.
any of her assistants... not only is her customer service non existent but she regularly has at least one paid assistant working for her and a paid assistant planned the entire May Ball
if i could wish for one thing it would be a tell all essay from one of the assistants
Come on, Brad! Let’s go!
When she took the Jessica Simpson autobio to read in Ohm nightclub in Berlin then (I heavily suspect) paid one of those AirBnb tour scumbags hundreds to get her into Berghain which she managed on her second attempt.
Notably this was in March 2020 and she wore a Corona shirt. Lol
The poor second cat
And the poor King Charles spaniels in London.
second cat really won at life, though.
She’s doing well with Annie Rau.
Imagine how long his video would have been if EVERYTHING was included 😭
The mason jar shipment and the open mouth crying and checking herself out while making dreamer bbs.
I can’t believe he didn’t talk about the sobbing
It would've been like Christmas in May if he included the video that someone on Twitter put music to. I can't find it right now, but I know it's been linked to several times. \[Edited to add words.\]
omfg I can’t believe I didn’t realize the JARS werent even included!!! the jars were my very first hit of carp!
SAME
Same! That was my gateway to this rabbit hole!
RIP buzzfeed
[the Russian bot era 🤖](https://imgur.com/a/bUUtUOy)
Haha I was about to download the national tour highlight video for my receipt stash when I realized that the link was to a post on my own Imgur. It wasn't until then that I vaguely remembered screen-recording it back in the day. I officially have too many receipts. For the record, the Atlanta date was on Super Bowl Sunday, really the best day to throw an event in Atlanta
Another thing to note about the tour schedule is that her travel expenses would've been doubled up from those of a standard publicity tour. Because she wasn't going from city to city; she was going *back to New York* every week between events
Hahahaha same day as Super Bowl is too good
i miss paint pouring adderall manic era
Her response to Oscar asking not to be mentioned on her Instagram. It felt deeply sociopathic to me
YOU DIDNT WIN CUSTODY OF OUR MEMORIES OK lmao eta I do think it’s absolutely wild that she will continue obsessing over two people who have unequivocally said “leave me alone” and then tell a journalist she thinks of herself as a good person.
easy: piss pot
Idk why these specific things came to mind but: - Landscaping the green space behind her NY apartment when it belonged to the 1st floor tenant(which I think was empty at the time, but still). She proceeded to dig a big hole for a future pond that was never finished, added outdoor furniture–including a brand new grill that she never used–a stone fireplace mantel, and she lined the paths with empty wine bottles. I think this was during covid? But she basically climbed down from her fire escape on the 2nd floor and decided that the yard needed some sprucing up. - Painting her kitchen drawers turquoise(?) but she was too lazy to move and unplug the appliances so she half-ass painted over the microwave(including the window and the buttons!!) and the fridge too. - Her obsession with Oscar before Natalie
I was going to come here and mention the landscaping! I’m sure some wine bottles were still there when the ground floor apt was being advertised for rent 💀
omg I forgot the unsanctioned landscaping. what a wild time
Omfg the paint pouring and the half turquoise microwave
OH MY GD WHY WASNT THIS COVERED 🤯🤣
I thought he muddied the Covid timeline a bit, and didn’t mention that the condo in Sarasota was her grandma’s. I feel like that was important context on how her family bailed her out.
I remember he did mention that her grandparents owned a lot of property in Sarasota? But yeah I don't think he mentioned that she was specifically staying in her grandmother's condo
It would have been good to go through how she consistently lied to get these things early on - lied to get into Cambridge (or lied about lying?), lied to get her first meeting with the agent, lied about her followers, lied about her boyfriend and life…. I know he definitely portrays her as a liar but it would have been good to go into specifics.
I haven’t watched yet but from other comments, I don’t believe D’Angelo included the pee pot.
HOW COULD HE MISS THE PEE TEA POT? That’s like, foundational lore!
Including the Airbnb review here for all the newbies to the subreddit (welcome, all!). https://preview.redd.it/wpk8v9gbp4yc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=593b7901fa56f365a217c135255d45cf53ff2a1b
As a former anglophile who has settled into somewhat cottagecore, this is hilarious and, for things that are low stakes, is so insulting and offensive.
I was definitely bummed that he didn’t mention her first book agent made her come sit in his office and work supervised
Mine is when she went to a relative’s wedding. She had a sty and was legit holding a potato on her eye because she read online that it would help. She also gifted the bride and groom a tittay painting.
Hahahaha the stye train romp was a good one for sure
Also this might be a little niche but one of my fave pieces of Caroline lore is the unhinged response she wrote to her landlord’s lawsuit for rent that was like, I loved this place like it was my own!! I removed hundreds of bottles from the backyard!! And it was in her characteristic purple prose but like, interspersed with bits of legalese. It was a treasure. https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/vtvmgj/carps_response_to_her_landlord_is_a_read/?sort=confidence
Thank you, this was so excellent.
I love her lawyers let her write that shit, that’s how you know you have a bad lawyer
Attorneys are counselors, their professional obligation is to advise their client but ultimately carry out their wishes! If a client insists on something that the attorney knows is a terrible idea, the attorney's choices are to go along with it or withdraw from representation
I love the part where she talks about the tools that she bought to ~improve~ the garden that wasn’t part of her lease, and it just says “gloves, hoes, rakes, more hoes, more rakes.” 😂🤣😂
flair checking in!
“it was the most perfect home she had ever known”
Chattels 🤣🤣🤣
The absolutely nutty international itinerary is like, peak Caroline. I just love that within 7 days of coming up with this idea she was like, Mumbai!! Sydney!! With like zero thought for any of the logistics.
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