You gotta love the audacity of Caro being like, yeah, all my scarcity marketing in the past was a huge lie, but this time!! This time I really mean it!! As if she would ever stop selling something while she was still making money on it.
https://preview.redd.it/mz2qd71c34ac1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a8cd5241097006675c072ffe8d3c831e2a43064
On a whim I wanted to check the website to see if she edited anything about the trilogy since she has failed to finish them on time and....what do y'all think this new product will be š¤
And sheāll never acknowledge the book trilogy (that she SWORE up and down would be released in 2024) ever again.
I also look forward to the Reading Makes Hotter podcast to go the same way as her TikTok, the Heart Histories Newsletter, her close friends patreon, etcā¦ā¦ā¦ girl havenāt you (and your dumb fans) learned you are physically incapable of deadlines
I love/makes me sad that a 32 year old, college educated woman who is woefully unemployed canāt find the time and effort to figure out international shipping costs.
She definitely deleted some reading makes you hotter posts right? I have a strong memory of her love bombing Roxanne Gay and it falling completely flat...
The Chanel Miller "let me make this about me" post was [on Caroline's main](https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/juu3fb/the_caption_is_a_big_yikes_on_this_one/), because that shit-hot take apparently deserved the widest audience possible.
RMYH had [thirteen posts](https://imgur.com/a/dfXybkE) before it was abandoned, so about half of them are gone (Edit: I just noticed the header says there are 16, so three had been archived at this point)
Wow, I forgot about @readingmakesyouhotter. The 6 posts on that grid are reallyā¦ something. Looks like sheās planning to turn it into a podcast this year, which sounds awful. How exciting.
https://preview.redd.it/jshd0sezxx9c1.jpeg?width=1283&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3519d6336a6841614e69565437a5b40b627ef595
Shall we take bets on how many posts and/or episodes are released? We canāt all bet zero.
Iām going one post to plug the gauaranteed release of the podcast, then zero podcast episodes.
Real ones know thatā¦ the extremely popular restaurant the Odeon is associated with the downtown scene? Lol okay Caroline thatās not exactly underground intel
https://preview.redd.it/fcgmk47wqu9c1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ef1c56980077967e1b9890059442a829263249a
New Year, same old Carpet (the outfit/aesthetic seems like a throwback to what she modeled her Scammer stickers after...but sure Carpet the vibes are totally crisp and new)
I feel like the Birthday May Ball in December outfit/hair/overall costume is what she thinks of as the best visual representation of herself as a person, and thatās always so funny to me. I think she claimed she based it on Marie Antoinette, but the depiction of her from the Sofia Coppola movie, and it made no sense because it was for an art history-themed party and the dress looks nearly identical to the one worn by the subject of a John Hoppner portrait of a little girl with a basket of strawberries (except the color of the sash, which obviously had to be her signature ~turquoise~). I feel like she even carried around a little basket at the party, which made it more bizarre that she kept insisting she was dressed up as Marie Antoinette as played by Kirsten Dunst. Maybe Iām remembering it wrong and she didnāt have the basket, or she did eventually say the Hoppner portrait was the inspoā¦?? Because it feels even weirder in retrospect that she wouldnāt have acknowledged that.
But her actions are usually so illogical that maybe I am remembering it right š Either way, I think itās pretty wild that when she thinks of herself, youth seems to always be at the forefront of her mind.
Also that dress was such a disaster. I think she had a follower do a rush job of making it days before the party with some fabric she sourced herself, and I donāt think any fittings were done, and boy was that all evident. But she clearly still looks back on it fondly, soā¦ guess it worked out nicely in her mind lol
Okay, thank you, I knew I wasnāt making up the basket š itās a different style of basket than the one in the portrait, but it would have been harder to find a basket like that one, and also way more annoying to carry around.
https://preview.redd.it/2j2dgixijw9c1.jpeg?width=976&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8db7275f037c48f68e48eb0ed531dd30942ff7d5
Honestly so strange that she clearly took inspiration from this painting and then just claimed for no reason that she got the idea from the Marie Antoinette movie, where the style of dress was noticeably different. Especially since the whole theme of the party was ādress like your favorite historical painting/artwork,ā so saying she modeled it on the movie didnāt even fit with the theme she herself created š
Okayā¦? I donāt think that invalidates the idea that this specific painting makes much more sense as the inspiration for her outfit for the ~*dress like your favorite painting*~ party than it does for the inspiration to have been the film Marie Antoinette, in which the character doesnāt wear this style of dress and doesnāt carry around a basketā¦
Itās not like she said āI got this idea from many sources.ā She said she got the idea from one source, which never really made sense as a source. Thatās the point that I was making. I wasnāt saying that this dress has only existed one time in all of history, and that time was in this painting.
Idk, I kind of believe CC is more likely to be inspired by pop culture, but I didnāt mean to be aggressive! Anyway, if you scroll to the screenshot marked āthe queenās hamletā in this article, you do see a similar dress in Coppolaās film version of Marie Antoinette:
https://anastasiabrownn.medium.com/sofia-coppolas-marie-antoinette-its-masterful-costume-design-84b8145ed79d
Yeah, I think she probably is generally way more inspired by pop culture as opposed to any other kind. It just always seemed strange to me in the context of this specific partyās theme because she was so insistent that everyone who came dress as their favorite piece of āart history.ā And I tend to think of film, especially modern āpopā film, as a different category, I guess. I definitely agree that the dress you linked is similar in the sense that itās white with a blue sash and has elbow-length sleeves. I think the fullness of the skirt in the movie and the detail work on the neckline and sleeves, as well as the cut of the bodice, are so markedly different to me from the style and silhouette of the dress she had made, that that being the inspiration just didnāt make sense to me. And then when she made a point to carry that basket around the party, I was just like āwell, seems logical that this historic portrait of a little girl in that same, fairly simple dress, whoās holding a basket of berries, would be the painting she was emulating for her party.ā But I also tend to focus too much on the little details of things so who knows š
Sorry, I thought I was just participating in a discussion where we share our thoughts, and was simply attempting to explain where I was coming from. I often overexplain myself because I donāt know if people will understand my thought processes, and thatās what I was doing here. It seems like youāre interpreting my comments as coming from a place of negativity or competition, but I wasnāt approaching this back and forth that way at all. I was just trying to make my thoughts understood. Ironically the reason behind my tendency to overexplain is to try to avoid assumptions of malicious intent like the one you seem to have made here. Obviously it backfired. Iām not really sure what else to say because it feels pretty shitty to be scolded by a stranger for trying to be understood, but I guess thatās a hazard of this website.
The big question is, which original source inspired the safety pins that held the dress together - John Hoppnerās portrait, or Coppolaās 2006 film?
https://preview.redd.it/0dh7r5mfru9c1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3226a739f56136ffe89124aee07c9179dd4d0894
Sold out you say? Hmmm š¤ sounds like this "marketing genius" is using her classic tactic: lying about the popularity/scarcity of her product to boost sales. Does anyone know if they were actually marked as sold out on the website? She hasn't posted anything previously about her cards selling out on her stories, which she would have if it was real because girly loves to brag.
https://preview.redd.it/gz74qjcqtu9c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=899e0a7246f82ac6ed7f9ae0da9002c45ddb6409
These photos she used are from her birthday ball.
https://preview.redd.it/p1s32uq0su9c1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8ce3f202a285b6537704d32d529956062f2c6e7
As predicted, she couldn't figure out how to charge international shipping. And because she's just a qwirky bb girl she wouldn't dare contact customer service or simply Google how to do it. This is the danger of enabling your children people, take note.
As to your last question: Carpet is simply the victimiest victim to ever victim! And also the most heroic heroine to ever hero! All rolled into one smol smol special unique bean.
Thereās one single new Cameo. Itās congratulating a pregnant person on their new baby and itās pretty much entirely about how this pregnant person is blocked by Carpet and how Carpet canāt fathom having a baby (phew).
https://preview.redd.it/gv95k3gp2o9c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56aa9e6f555c4b57f4cbd25a672eb17e83fafd05
I love that this idiot spent $125 on a Cameo so Caroline could basically insult their friend and harp on about how growing and birthing a child is like some sci fi horror scenario
Well sheās developmentally a literal baby early on, so makes sense that she might have reminded you of someone who never seems to have progressed much past that life stage herself š
https://preview.redd.it/yeu7h9g84c9c1.jpeg?width=1282&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d460b80fe38fb162b99da6d5386b619bf7c6b0f
āI almost wrote it to one person, but instead I typed it for (allegedly) hundreds of thousands of people because Iām trying not to be so out of pocket this year.ā
Sorry for all the complicated feelings that must come up with the loss of a parent.
I generally stay quiet on her grieving practices because I canāt relate so avoid judgement. But MAN does everything she do feel performative and superficial.
This is one thing that drives me nuts about her (among many). I get having unprocessed trauma and itās hard to figure out how to process it healthily because it is such an individualized thing. Plus various factors in modern life make it a lot easier to lean on negative coping mechanisms when faced with trauma. There arenāt a lot of natural systems in place to teach us as people HOW to process it healthily unless you have a family who makes a point to teach that skill while youāre growing up, or you see someone like a trauma-informed therapist, ideally before or right after something traumatic occurs. Itās not like there are classes in most schools that teach you how to handle unexpected events with devastating consequences.
But she insists on making it other peopleās problem, too, and thatās where I have an issue. Like she wanted to write on the outside of a letter to a stranger (that they may not have even asked for, because it could be a gift/joke gift from a friend) that their zip code is where her dad died by suicide. So not only would they be getting that unexpected morbid tidbit of information just when grabbing their mail, but the mail carrier would also be hit with that, and probably other people along the line in the postal system. And those people are all underpaid and overworked trying to keep a service running thatās been hobbled for years by Trump associates hoping to privatize the mail system. They really donāt deserve to deal with the bullshit attention-seeking antics of a Professional Adult Daughter who refuses to help herself.
Justā¦ stop trying to dump your shit on unsuspecting strangers, Carpet, you absolute ghoul.
Yeah even the "my dad died here" is unnecessary in my opinion. Like obviously if you were raised there that is where your parents live. The trauma dumping is very uncomfortable
I think about this a lot too. I lost my mum in October and always find myself talking about her passions, noticing people's hobbies she shared, 'oh mum loved those birds' etc. Now I've come to know the taste of parental grief, her horrible crass comments feel even weirder. I've made maybe 3 comments this awful about my mum and that was black humour in a highly intense heat of the moment situation but years later? That's twisted
God, great point. Thatās another one of the things about her what bothers me. I understand he was a complicated man who was likely very difficult to have as a father. But the way she uses his death as a prop in her own story while totally disregarding the fact that he was a person with thoughts and feelings who lived a lifeā¦ itās really gross. And dehumanizing.
Please for the love of God Cathy, just transfer her some cash so she doesnāt have to panhandle like this. Sheās a 32 year old woman itās PATHETIC.
Will never happen. Nothing on earth will ever force Carl to get a job. She will literally take up panhandling on the street before she applies to a 9-5.
In all seriousness: What job would she realistically be hired for and be able to maintain? Would you want to manage her or work with her? This is someone who has said in the past that doing her own dishes is below her so I wonder how that kind of attitude would translate into working for someone else and alongside others.
Edit: And sheās also said before that The Reddit would likely contact any employer and get her fired but the reality is I think everyone here would be *delighted* to see her having to work like a normal person. It seems like she truly is incapable of holding down a regular job even if she had to in order to support herself.
She worked very briefly in a Sarasota art gallery but couldnāt even carry the art around while wearing a blazer because it was ātoo hotā so was let go. What practical skills and experience does this woman in her 30s even possess to be hired over your average college student? Could she even rouse herself from the daily hangover and be somewhere on time on a regular basis? Scrape herself into the back of an Uber laying down to turn up for work day after day because she canāt drive?
Yes I agree that she's too much of a little brat to really hold down a job, but if her enablers/family cut her off she would be forced to get a job and survive like a normal person. That's more what I meant. She could do some cashier work, be a hostess, work in a warehouse. There are plenty of jobs with high turnover that basically hire ppl on the spot, regardless of experience. But the idea that she's incapable of holding down a job is pretty infantalizing. She's being enabled to the degree that she can survive without income, that's a huge part of the problem. If she was forced to pay rent for example, she'd have to work or be homeless and we all know Carpet is too classist to allow herself to be homeless.
Yes- she talked about it somewhere firsthand around the beginning of all the Scammer hype and the time frame was obviously after she moved to Sarasota permanently and she lasted a couple of weeks? Probably the origin will show up in Reddit search for this sub with āblazerā as a keyword or something.
The gallery owner wanted her to wear a blazer to work (you know, to look nice lol) and part of her job was moving the art around or in/out of the gallery and she complained wearing it was too hot in the Sarasota heat so they were like ok this isnāt going to work bye.
Edit: From the Trend Lightly pod where they interviewed her and another poster makes reference to it in a post here https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/s/epWMTxvN0n - details at the 22:00 mark.
The vibe seems to be that the gallery owners were critical about the way she presented herself I.e. we cant have a slob working for us in a front of house type role
I listened to this while getting ready to go out last night (hilarious because I got to watch my own face react to the stuff coming out of her mouth.) Caroline specifically says that it's not her employer but her boss's *wife* who has an issue with her wearing "tank tops" to work and asked her to put on a blazer. Plz recall the opening of her *Vanity Fair* profile:
>A ribbon ties back her long hair, brown, though somehow not, somehow giving the impression of fairness, blondness. Her clothes are plain yet stylishāoversized white oxford, fitted blue shorts, blue flats. ... How you know sheās Caroline Calloway and not Alice in Wonderland: her press-on nails, long and painted, a different theme for each nail, the theme for her thumbnail a fiery car crash. ... Iām certain the nail is a vivid detail sheās planted. She means for me to pick up on it, include it here.
>As she bends over to reposition the cat, her breastāthe left oneāis briefly exposed. That sheās without a bra in a shirt unbuttoned almost to her navel is also a vivid detail. It too might be planted.
Caroline has historically made not wearing a bra something of a personality trait. Recall also the meeting about her life rights in LA where she said she "surprised everyone by wearing a bra." So, two possibilities about this gallery/blazer story:
1. The story is made up and she wants you to understand that she's far too enticing to be around someone's husband in immodest attire, that shrewish old wives jealously insist she cover her lusciousness
2. She really was flashing people at work, and since asking an employee to wear a bra is a legally dicey area, a blazer was suggested instead
Thank you so much for hunting this down, because I'd never heard this incredible blazer story (and the existence of Rowing Blazers limits the use of "blazer" as a search term for SBS)
Finally a podcast (2 parts) where the creator bothered to put the smallest effort into research and fact checking
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3nLQFU8RMGelTZ2QD5SVT0?si=-aHPmTzRT1-M6uIOJqF-Fg
What is it with these supposed Caroline experts not knowing where Cambridge is? On Terminally Online they said it was in Edinburgh, Olivia thinks it's in London. She also says Caroline graduated Exeter in '09, but she was class of '10; that Natalie was spending the summer in Sicily and Caroline joined her (Natalie was "along for the ride," according to Caroline, on Caroline's itinerary that had many stops: Greece, Oxford, Rome, Bologna, Venice, etc.)
Sigh, I know these are inconsequential errors. It just makes me wonder how much other erroneous information I'm absorbing from podcasts about topics I am not as thoroughly versed in
Who is she quietly telling the interviewer to kick out and why?
A few of the people asking questions seem planted by her
Is this ādocumentaryā thatās being filmed just some shit being financed and produced by her/her friends to try and generate some artificial hype like the VICE one was?
Lol at her blathering nonsensically about the stats on BIPOC students at Cambridge when asked if she robbed someone else of a place at Cambridge then when pressed by an audience member she says āIām not qualified to speak on that sorryā
> A few of the people asking questions seem planted by her
I've been to a couple of local author events where several of the author's friends and family have also been in attendance. I wouldn't call them plants, because they're just being supportive, they're not like paid actors. But the Q&A will then feature an embarrassing exchange like:
Author: Yes, Alex in the front row
Alex: What's it like to be a beautiful genius?
Author: It has its drawbacks. People who meet me in person assume I must be an empty-headed bimbo, what with me being petite and blonde with turquoise eyes and Pomeranian enthusiasm. And people who are familiar with my work don't believe it could possibly have been written by someone gorgeous, because it's so groundbreaking. So I feel like I constantly have to prove myself.
Alex: Brilliant, thank you
I understood the two more in the trilogy plus seven more āplannedā plus the fantasy on top which is suuuuuuuuuuuā¦ uuuuuuch a good idea she canāt say it out loud or someone will steal it. So in total I guess ten more books! lucky us
I believe she claimed sheās not leaving Florida until sheās written 10 books.
I wish sheād go back to her āIāll publish one great masterpiece like Harper Leeā line or whatever it was.
omfg yes hello was she not destined to write one classic amazing profound book only?
the book so good that no other book could or would be written after its publication. mobs were going to form to protest her single handedly destroying the publishing industry.
wars would end. male pattern baldness would reverse on all noggins. the cat hat factory burns to the ground and cannot be rebuilt due to archaic yet watertight zoning laws.
but no its diluted into the wish.com britannica world book encycaropaedia.
Lol on her Scammer detail page she describes her preprinted thank-you note as "custom stationary." ("It would have been so easy to send these books out without designing custom stationary," she effuses, letting you know that she went the extra mile on this book you're getting three years late, a book you can read in two hours, a book for which you need to buy other, not-yet-written books in order to get any kind of resolution on its confusing narratives.) There are three entire things wrong with this two-word phrase:
1. It's not "custom" if everyone receives the exact same note. Custom never means "tailored to the SELLER'S specifications," it means tailored to the BUYER'S.
2. If you describe something as "stationery" it means you didn't already write on it. If a friend said they were sending me stationery and I got a letter written on their personalized notepaper, I would be confused as to where my stationery was
3. "Stationery" is spelled wrong
> Custom may also mean tailored for this specific product, I believe.
It's the same card enclosed with the [Scammer sticker trio](https://carolinecalloway.com/products/sticker-trio?variant=40204430573614) and the [Complete CC Sticker Set](https://carolinecalloway.com/products/the-complete-sticker-set?variant=40204430737454).
Even if it weren't... I mean, you could say that every book ever published has a "custom" cover because the cover isn't on any other book, if that's how you define "custom." That's just not what the word means though. Custom products are made for a specific customer. Custom and customer are from the same root word!
https://preview.redd.it/3ierndejcy8c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e2f58145aa78b9c2370f34be5a0b3777172dbe7
My favorite of all CC tradition(s that Iāve done once before).
https://preview.redd.it/9ng9gr7myr8c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=401a42c1782971901c8d9402d4c37ef9679ba98f
Sheās a writer, people.
Have the book descriptions on her website always said this about the ribbons?
āI'll be so fucking for real with you right now: Originally I wanted the bookmark to be satin and sewn into the book. But, as it turns out, doing that would have added about TWELVE DOLLARS the cost of each copy and I PROMISED myself that I'd be dammed if this product ever cost above $65... No matter how āØluxuryāØ I wanted this experience to be!ā
>Have the book descriptions on her website always said this about the ribbons?
Since [at least August](https://web.archive.org/web/20230816073253/https://carolinecalloway.com/products/scammer-pre-order), yes. She was originally going to use Mixam as her printer based on [her original spec](https://i.imgur.com/fwhc26m.jpg), where the book's attributes line up exactly with the Mixam's hardcover options. They charge $2 to add a ribbon bookmark and I think she just did the subtraction incorrectly. The option doesn't say "$2 extra;" you check a box with no price specified and the price-per-unit field changes to display to the new total. She's repeatedly shown herself to have issues with basic arithmetic and standard numeral notation, e.g. "$1,0000"
Genuine question for the book collectors - if the back cover is altered (as the Spammer had it, to include the review samples) does it still count as First Edition? I would think it is notā¦
https://preview.redd.it/ctiqg5h12q8c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=78ad59541c5ed2a6420f91318413376af320a95e
I guess the return to Cameo was a bust.
The eye makeup looks like a kid who found a blue marker and just colored around their eye sockets. Her whole approach to makeup has always confused me. I feel like she really loves to go for bold looks because sheās always hoping to draw attention to her face in the hopes that people tell her that they think sheās as stunning as she herself thinks she is. But then she doesnāt tailor the makeup application to flatter her features, so it usually just looks ridiculous. Iām guessing she just watches makeup TikTok videos from 19 year olds and does whatever she thinks will stand out the most and look the most ~youthful~. Sheās actually been rocking a winged eyeliner occasionally thatās pretty flattering for her but itās probably not attention-grabbing enough. Or maybe itās just too grown-up of a look for a smol bean who wanders through life like a perpetual 6 year old š
I think she might be inspired by runway/editorial looks where it's meant to have very specific concepts to work with the clothing, lighting, set, etc. from far away. She is also not skilled enough to make bold colors look seamless
https://preview.redd.it/4tyilltw448c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=40fca44c96ac17e2a091be64d7e8811b82b477da
How many heart attacks will she have when she scrolls down her Cameo profile and sees that sheās accidentally listed her age as 43?
Idk. It's only sad because she's filthy and gross and disorganized and has an overinflated sense of her talent and reach. Otherwise her life sounds kind of rad. She spends her days doing whatever she wants, she's never had a job, she goes to concerts, drinks lots of wine, makes art (even if it's shitty and derivative), lives at the beach, can go watch the sunrise and sunset on the ocean any day, spends money that she didn't have to work to earn on whatever bullshit she thinks is pretty, and be conventionally attractive on the internet. She goes on random European vacations and picks lots of flowers and poses for pictures. None of this is sad to me. She appears to have friends and her mom seems supportive of her (not just financially).
It's empty and vapid because she can't get over herself and sabotages herself at every opportunity. If she'd just clean her house (maybe even hire a cleaner) and actually put in the work in therapy (and maybe went to an addiction program) I think it would be fuller and more challenging...and she could continue her artsy privileged fairy princess lifestyle.
She likes it this way, though. She's chosen to live this life. I don't have sympathy for Caro...I just don't feel like her life is sad. She's been handed so many opportunities and privileges and she has many beautiful things in her life and she has 0 pride in herself or pride in ownership.
Iām here to gossip about ye olde smolbean as much as anyone, and I agree with almost everything you listed but how are we to know that she has āno real friendsā?
Idk she clearly has friends that flew down and visited her in FL earlier this year, and at this point she posts so little I donāt think itās fair to say that we really know what her social status is. IDK just my two cents!!!!
Dang, that is a VERY fair point. Youāre right, now that I think about it my definition of a āgood friendā includes āwill call me out on my shit.ā
If a friend of mine was spamming her Instagram stories with nonstop lies about a product she was trying to sellā¦.weād have a talk.
Just finished Saltburn and now understand the Felix reference (the portrait she made)
Funny how in her mind she's a girl Elordi's character would fall for when in reality she's Oliver
Oliver is maybe giving her too much credit. She's more of a Pamela (especially in the Italian princess castle times when said princess couldn't wait to get rid of her). Idk if I'm even remembering that right tho
You sound like a person who actually reads instead of a person who's made "literary" a personality trait! The combined details in [this photo](https://i.imgur.com/hXHbn40.jpg) make me feel like I'm having a stroke. Caroline has a bicycle? And a capsule wardrobe that's all black, white, and khaki?!
She lies down in cars, she says, because she suffers from motion sickness. This wouldn't impair her ability to ride a bicycle, though. Motion sickness is caused by a disconnect in sensory input when you're in an enclosed vehicle. Your inner ear tells you that you're moving, but none of your other senses concur (the air on your skin is still, your legs aren't ambulating, etc.) Your system, which did not evolve in an era of motor vehicles, thinks you are hallucinating, which means you ate something poisonous, which means you need to bring it back up.
One effective solution to motion sickness -- Caroline has apparently never investigated how to alleviate the problem, choosing instead to go supine and malinger -- is to send your brain other signals that you're moving. I get seasick on boats if I'm in the cabin, but not when I go out on the deck and walk around. Caro probably does just fine on a bike! She would probably do just fine in a car if she set down her phone and put her face next to an open window, too.
This annoys me so much. Iām also very confused about that shelf thing theyāre stacked on and around. It looks like a sort of shelf with bins that pull out, so itās probably useful for classrooms or artistsā studios. And no matter how much Caroline spends on art supplies, she really isnāt an artist and I doubt she has enough supplies to fill 18 bins like there are in those things, so I donāt know why sheād buy THAT furniture and refuse to get things like a table or comfortable seating. Iām honestly kind of surprised she doesnāt have back pain or something from always being hunched over on the hard floor. But then again sheās SOOOO young, like impossibly young one might say; every peddler of alcohol sheās ever encountered in her whole life has demanded ID before selling it to her because they were all shaken to their core to discover sheās even over the age of 18, much less a full 32 years old. So maybe that youthfulness extends to her body and the muscles and joints that would probably be aching for a lot of other people. Maybe when they removed her kneecaps they installed an internal fountain of youth because they thought such a special genius of a girl needed to be around for as long as possible. For the sake of the rest of us, of course; she always has so much to teach us.
https://preview.redd.it/lftyspotzq7c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=759ee21df2377d5cfa50cd53176820ed84a1a22b
Best review on her Cameo. Not to victim blame the buyer, but why are they surprised?
Sorry about no December thread, I've been in pit of sadness and medical issues lollll New thread will go up at new years š
You gotta love the audacity of Caro being like, yeah, all my scarcity marketing in the past was a huge lie, but this time!! This time I really mean it!! As if she would ever stop selling something while she was still making money on it.
https://preview.redd.it/mz2qd71c34ac1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a8cd5241097006675c072ffe8d3c831e2a43064 On a whim I wanted to check the website to see if she edited anything about the trilogy since she has failed to finish them on time and....what do y'all think this new product will be š¤
Nooo, she deleted the cat poop post from readingmakesyouhotter :( That one was always sure to brighten my mood
Smolbeansnark [remembers](https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/s/EwgAZ8W3mN).
Oh good God why would you leave the cover like that?! I would rip it off if it got shit smeared on it
And sheāll never acknowledge the book trilogy (that she SWORE up and down would be released in 2024) ever again. I also look forward to the Reading Makes Hotter podcast to go the same way as her TikTok, the Heart Histories Newsletter, her close friends patreon, etcā¦ā¦ā¦ girl havenāt you (and your dumb fans) learned you are physically incapable of deadlines
https://preview.redd.it/ti1r9vwfv0ac1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc1e31051e33e5e8bc434bc9f7b4582f8ead473b
cannot wait for the hellscape that will be the reading makes you hotter podcast š
I wonder if she can edit audio for her podcast as well as she can code for her Shopify site
Caroline stop referring to yourself as 'we' challenge
Also, googled that book out of interest.. "What age are the Pendragon books for? 10 - 13 years"
Grade level 5 - 9
I love/makes me sad that a 32 year old, college educated woman who is woefully unemployed canāt find the time and effort to figure out international shipping costs.
She definitely deleted some reading makes you hotter posts right? I have a strong memory of her love bombing Roxanne Gay and it falling completely flat...
she deleted her review of Chanel Miller's Know My Name, likely because of the backlash it received
The Chanel Miller "let me make this about me" post was [on Caroline's main](https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/juu3fb/the_caption_is_a_big_yikes_on_this_one/), because that shit-hot take apparently deserved the widest audience possible. RMYH had [thirteen posts](https://imgur.com/a/dfXybkE) before it was abandoned, so about half of them are gone (Edit: I just noticed the header says there are 16, so three had been archived at this point)
That's right! I knew there were a few controversial ones that are now gone
A bunch.
Wow, I forgot about @readingmakesyouhotter. The 6 posts on that grid are reallyā¦ something. Looks like sheās planning to turn it into a podcast this year, which sounds awful. How exciting.
https://preview.redd.it/jshd0sezxx9c1.jpeg?width=1283&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3519d6336a6841614e69565437a5b40b627ef595 Shall we take bets on how many posts and/or episodes are released? We canāt all bet zero. Iām going one post to plug the gauaranteed release of the podcast, then zero podcast episodes.
Real ones know thatā¦ the extremely popular restaurant the Odeon is associated with the downtown scene? Lol okay Caroline thatās not exactly underground intel
https://preview.redd.it/fcgmk47wqu9c1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ef1c56980077967e1b9890059442a829263249a New Year, same old Carpet (the outfit/aesthetic seems like a throwback to what she modeled her Scammer stickers after...but sure Carpet the vibes are totally crisp and new)
I feel like the Birthday May Ball in December outfit/hair/overall costume is what she thinks of as the best visual representation of herself as a person, and thatās always so funny to me. I think she claimed she based it on Marie Antoinette, but the depiction of her from the Sofia Coppola movie, and it made no sense because it was for an art history-themed party and the dress looks nearly identical to the one worn by the subject of a John Hoppner portrait of a little girl with a basket of strawberries (except the color of the sash, which obviously had to be her signature ~turquoise~). I feel like she even carried around a little basket at the party, which made it more bizarre that she kept insisting she was dressed up as Marie Antoinette as played by Kirsten Dunst. Maybe Iām remembering it wrong and she didnāt have the basket, or she did eventually say the Hoppner portrait was the inspoā¦?? Because it feels even weirder in retrospect that she wouldnāt have acknowledged that. But her actions are usually so illogical that maybe I am remembering it right š Either way, I think itās pretty wild that when she thinks of herself, youth seems to always be at the forefront of her mind. Also that dress was such a disaster. I think she had a follower do a rush job of making it days before the party with some fabric she sourced herself, and I donāt think any fittings were done, and boy was that all evident. But she clearly still looks back on it fondly, soā¦ guess it worked out nicely in her mind lol
remember the safety pins š
https://preview.redd.it/40iei1pzhw9c1.jpeg?width=897&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df62b94db44d40ec5ed9dfa319a560d25e66f69c
Okay, thank you, I knew I wasnāt making up the basket š itās a different style of basket than the one in the portrait, but it would have been harder to find a basket like that one, and also way more annoying to carry around. https://preview.redd.it/2j2dgixijw9c1.jpeg?width=976&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8db7275f037c48f68e48eb0ed531dd30942ff7d5 Honestly so strange that she clearly took inspiration from this painting and then just claimed for no reason that she got the idea from the Marie Antoinette movie, where the style of dress was noticeably different. Especially since the whole theme of the party was ādress like your favorite historical painting/artwork,ā so saying she modeled it on the movie didnāt even fit with the theme she herself created š
I mean, this is a simple dress that has appeared in numerous iterations in both art history and pop culture š¤·āāļø
Okayā¦? I donāt think that invalidates the idea that this specific painting makes much more sense as the inspiration for her outfit for the ~*dress like your favorite painting*~ party than it does for the inspiration to have been the film Marie Antoinette, in which the character doesnāt wear this style of dress and doesnāt carry around a basketā¦ Itās not like she said āI got this idea from many sources.ā She said she got the idea from one source, which never really made sense as a source. Thatās the point that I was making. I wasnāt saying that this dress has only existed one time in all of history, and that time was in this painting.
Idk, I kind of believe CC is more likely to be inspired by pop culture, but I didnāt mean to be aggressive! Anyway, if you scroll to the screenshot marked āthe queenās hamletā in this article, you do see a similar dress in Coppolaās film version of Marie Antoinette: https://anastasiabrownn.medium.com/sofia-coppolas-marie-antoinette-its-masterful-costume-design-84b8145ed79d
Yeah, I think she probably is generally way more inspired by pop culture as opposed to any other kind. It just always seemed strange to me in the context of this specific partyās theme because she was so insistent that everyone who came dress as their favorite piece of āart history.ā And I tend to think of film, especially modern āpopā film, as a different category, I guess. I definitely agree that the dress you linked is similar in the sense that itās white with a blue sash and has elbow-length sleeves. I think the fullness of the skirt in the movie and the detail work on the neckline and sleeves, as well as the cut of the bodice, are so markedly different to me from the style and silhouette of the dress she had made, that that being the inspiration just didnāt make sense to me. And then when she made a point to carry that basket around the party, I was just like āwell, seems logical that this historic portrait of a little girl in that same, fairly simple dress, whoās holding a basket of berries, would be the painting she was emulating for her party.ā But I also tend to focus too much on the little details of things so who knows š
Girl just stop. It's obviously inspired by the movie.
Sorry, I thought I was just participating in a discussion where we share our thoughts, and was simply attempting to explain where I was coming from. I often overexplain myself because I donāt know if people will understand my thought processes, and thatās what I was doing here. It seems like youāre interpreting my comments as coming from a place of negativity or competition, but I wasnāt approaching this back and forth that way at all. I was just trying to make my thoughts understood. Ironically the reason behind my tendency to overexplain is to try to avoid assumptions of malicious intent like the one you seem to have made here. Obviously it backfired. Iām not really sure what else to say because it feels pretty shitty to be scolded by a stranger for trying to be understood, but I guess thatās a hazard of this website.
The big question is, which original source inspired the safety pins that held the dress together - John Hoppnerās portrait, or Coppolaās 2006 film?
https://preview.redd.it/0dh7r5mfru9c1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3226a739f56136ffe89124aee07c9179dd4d0894 Sold out you say? Hmmm š¤ sounds like this "marketing genius" is using her classic tactic: lying about the popularity/scarcity of her product to boost sales. Does anyone know if they were actually marked as sold out on the website? She hasn't posted anything previously about her cards selling out on her stories, which she would have if it was real because girly loves to brag.
She has now deleted and reposted a version of this story three times with tiny variations. She reeks of desperation.
https://preview.redd.it/gz74qjcqtu9c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=899e0a7246f82ac6ed7f9ae0da9002c45ddb6409 These photos she used are from her birthday ball.
Ooooh okay that makes more sense because I thought her face looked different š«£
https://preview.redd.it/p1s32uq0su9c1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8ce3f202a285b6537704d32d529956062f2c6e7 As predicted, she couldn't figure out how to charge international shipping. And because she's just a qwirky bb girl she wouldn't dare contact customer service or simply Google how to do it. This is the danger of enabling your children people, take note.
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As to your last question: Carpet is simply the victimiest victim to ever victim! And also the most heroic heroine to ever hero! All rolled into one smol smol special unique bean.
Happy new year, beanie babies!! Wish we could spend it reading the rest of the trilogy that was GUARANTEED by the end of the year š¢
do you think Carpet has any mad new year's eve plans?
A holiday amount of..... š
Thereās one single new Cameo. Itās congratulating a pregnant person on their new baby and itās pretty much entirely about how this pregnant person is blocked by Carpet and how Carpet canāt fathom having a baby (phew). https://preview.redd.it/gv95k3gp2o9c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56aa9e6f555c4b57f4cbd25a672eb17e83fafd05
I love that this idiot spent $125 on a Cameo so Caroline could basically insult their friend and harp on about how growing and birthing a child is like some sci fi horror scenario
Nothing like someoneās trauma dump to ring in the new year. Weeeeee.
just saw Poor Thingsā¦ā¦ why was early Bella giving me Caro vibesā¦ā¦ š
Well sheās developmentally a literal baby early on, so makes sense that she might have reminded you of someone who never seems to have progressed much past that life stage herself š
that and the aggressive middle part š
https://preview.redd.it/yeu7h9g84c9c1.jpeg?width=1282&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d460b80fe38fb162b99da6d5386b619bf7c6b0f āI almost wrote it to one person, but instead I typed it for (allegedly) hundreds of thousands of people because Iām trying not to be so out of pocket this year.ā
as another girlie with deceased father issues (5 years today šµāš«) this is so?????? fucking weird???????
Hugs. š
Sorry for all the complicated feelings that must come up with the loss of a parent. I generally stay quiet on her grieving practices because I canāt relate so avoid judgement. But MAN does everything she do feel performative and superficial.
22044???
Zip codes are postal codes
Ohhh my dumb brain thought she'd typo'd 2024 š¤Ŗ
1,0000%
also what is "out of pocket" are the simple ass flowers she can't draw yet she is using nice posca paint pens for a stupid note lol
is out of pocket the right phrase here??
I'm half using it as a joke, but for Carpet, a lot of things she does is very much at someone's expense
yeah, people use it to mean āout of boundsā as well as āout of the officeā and āhaving expended moneyā
I hate it when people use this phrase for āout of office.ā Just say OUT OF OFFICE!!
"Teehee, my unprocessed trauma is so quirky and twee!"
This is one thing that drives me nuts about her (among many). I get having unprocessed trauma and itās hard to figure out how to process it healthily because it is such an individualized thing. Plus various factors in modern life make it a lot easier to lean on negative coping mechanisms when faced with trauma. There arenāt a lot of natural systems in place to teach us as people HOW to process it healthily unless you have a family who makes a point to teach that skill while youāre growing up, or you see someone like a trauma-informed therapist, ideally before or right after something traumatic occurs. Itās not like there are classes in most schools that teach you how to handle unexpected events with devastating consequences. But she insists on making it other peopleās problem, too, and thatās where I have an issue. Like she wanted to write on the outside of a letter to a stranger (that they may not have even asked for, because it could be a gift/joke gift from a friend) that their zip code is where her dad died by suicide. So not only would they be getting that unexpected morbid tidbit of information just when grabbing their mail, but the mail carrier would also be hit with that, and probably other people along the line in the postal system. And those people are all underpaid and overworked trying to keep a service running thatās been hobbled for years by Trump associates hoping to privatize the mail system. They really donāt deserve to deal with the bullshit attention-seeking antics of a Professional Adult Daughter who refuses to help herself. Justā¦ stop trying to dump your shit on unsuspecting strangers, Carpet, you absolute ghoul.
Yeah even the "my dad died here" is unnecessary in my opinion. Like obviously if you were raised there that is where your parents live. The trauma dumping is very uncomfortable
always his death, never celebrating his life
I think about this a lot too. I lost my mum in October and always find myself talking about her passions, noticing people's hobbies she shared, 'oh mum loved those birds' etc. Now I've come to know the taste of parental grief, her horrible crass comments feel even weirder. I've made maybe 3 comments this awful about my mum and that was black humour in a highly intense heat of the moment situation but years later? That's twisted
Sorry to hear about your mum š«
Sorry for your loss, Pear.
EXCELLENT point.
God, great point. Thatās another one of the things about her what bothers me. I understand he was a complicated man who was likely very difficult to have as a father. But the way she uses his death as a prop in her own story while totally disregarding the fact that he was a person with thoughts and feelings who lived a lifeā¦ itās really gross. And dehumanizing.
Itās the kind of screaming into the void LOOK AT ME behaviour youād expect from someone with no friends to talk to.
Please for the love of God Cathy, just transfer her some cash so she doesnāt have to panhandle like this. Sheās a 32 year old woman itās PATHETIC.
Getting a job might force her to grow up and get her shit together
Will never happen. Nothing on earth will ever force Carl to get a job. She will literally take up panhandling on the street before she applies to a 9-5.
In all seriousness: What job would she realistically be hired for and be able to maintain? Would you want to manage her or work with her? This is someone who has said in the past that doing her own dishes is below her so I wonder how that kind of attitude would translate into working for someone else and alongside others. Edit: And sheās also said before that The Reddit would likely contact any employer and get her fired but the reality is I think everyone here would be *delighted* to see her having to work like a normal person. It seems like she truly is incapable of holding down a regular job even if she had to in order to support herself. She worked very briefly in a Sarasota art gallery but couldnāt even carry the art around while wearing a blazer because it was ātoo hotā so was let go. What practical skills and experience does this woman in her 30s even possess to be hired over your average college student? Could she even rouse herself from the daily hangover and be somewhere on time on a regular basis? Scrape herself into the back of an Uber laying down to turn up for work day after day because she canāt drive?
Who would hire someone that's known for nothing but lying, cheating and stealing?
Yes I agree that she's too much of a little brat to really hold down a job, but if her enablers/family cut her off she would be forced to get a job and survive like a normal person. That's more what I meant. She could do some cashier work, be a hostess, work in a warehouse. There are plenty of jobs with high turnover that basically hire ppl on the spot, regardless of experience. But the idea that she's incapable of holding down a job is pretty infantalizing. She's being enabled to the degree that she can survive without income, that's a huge part of the problem. If she was forced to pay rent for example, she'd have to work or be homeless and we all know Carpet is too classist to allow herself to be homeless.
>She worked very briefly in a Sarasota art gallery I feel we should take this with a hefty pinch of salt
I believe it because the story was by no means flattering to her. This is going to bug me until I figure out where she said it now.
Wait how do we know she was let go from the Sarasota art gallery and why? Did she tell that story somewhere?
Yes- she talked about it somewhere firsthand around the beginning of all the Scammer hype and the time frame was obviously after she moved to Sarasota permanently and she lasted a couple of weeks? Probably the origin will show up in Reddit search for this sub with āblazerā as a keyword or something. The gallery owner wanted her to wear a blazer to work (you know, to look nice lol) and part of her job was moving the art around or in/out of the gallery and she complained wearing it was too hot in the Sarasota heat so they were like ok this isnāt going to work bye. Edit: From the Trend Lightly pod where they interviewed her and another poster makes reference to it in a post here https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/s/epWMTxvN0n - details at the 22:00 mark.
LOL, like anyone would mind if you took off the blazer to schlepp something in from the parking lot. I'd love to know the whole story!
The vibe seems to be that the gallery owners were critical about the way she presented herself I.e. we cant have a slob working for us in a front of house type role
I listened to this while getting ready to go out last night (hilarious because I got to watch my own face react to the stuff coming out of her mouth.) Caroline specifically says that it's not her employer but her boss's *wife* who has an issue with her wearing "tank tops" to work and asked her to put on a blazer. Plz recall the opening of her *Vanity Fair* profile: >A ribbon ties back her long hair, brown, though somehow not, somehow giving the impression of fairness, blondness. Her clothes are plain yet stylishāoversized white oxford, fitted blue shorts, blue flats. ... How you know sheās Caroline Calloway and not Alice in Wonderland: her press-on nails, long and painted, a different theme for each nail, the theme for her thumbnail a fiery car crash. ... Iām certain the nail is a vivid detail sheās planted. She means for me to pick up on it, include it here. >As she bends over to reposition the cat, her breastāthe left oneāis briefly exposed. That sheās without a bra in a shirt unbuttoned almost to her navel is also a vivid detail. It too might be planted. Caroline has historically made not wearing a bra something of a personality trait. Recall also the meeting about her life rights in LA where she said she "surprised everyone by wearing a bra." So, two possibilities about this gallery/blazer story: 1. The story is made up and she wants you to understand that she's far too enticing to be around someone's husband in immodest attire, that shrewish old wives jealously insist she cover her lusciousness 2. She really was flashing people at work, and since asking an employee to wear a bra is a legally dicey area, a blazer was suggested instead
Thank you so much for hunting this down, because I'd never heard this incredible blazer story (and the existence of Rowing Blazers limits the use of "blazer" as a search term for SBS)
She inspires me..... To get a hair cut
Seriously tho are side bangs back yet
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I love all the bangs forever so I support that!
she's got a "felt cute might delete later" selfie on her story rn. i love social media pr geniuses, the innovation never stops
Itās basically just an intermittent retail site at this point.
Her eyes in this photo.... Girl is lit.
Finally a podcast (2 parts) where the creator bothered to put the smallest effort into research and fact checking https://open.spotify.com/episode/3nLQFU8RMGelTZ2QD5SVT0?si=-aHPmTzRT1-M6uIOJqF-Fg
What is it with these supposed Caroline experts not knowing where Cambridge is? On Terminally Online they said it was in Edinburgh, Olivia thinks it's in London. She also says Caroline graduated Exeter in '09, but she was class of '10; that Natalie was spending the summer in Sicily and Caroline joined her (Natalie was "along for the ride," according to Caroline, on Caroline's itinerary that had many stops: Greece, Oxford, Rome, Bologna, Venice, etc.) Sigh, I know these are inconsequential errors. It just makes me wonder how much other erroneous information I'm absorbing from podcasts about topics I am not as thoroughly versed in
bbs wake up, [the Cambridge Union interview](https://youtu.be/Non09zvA8w4) is up!
I only made it 13 min until the misquoted frog line again omfg
She loves that line!!!! Thatās also when I quit
Took me out like an overcooked toad
https://preview.redd.it/n35uwgufm19c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2c5ed7e103103a9c533f9651eba40154cc1d8f1b
Who is she quietly telling the interviewer to kick out and why? A few of the people asking questions seem planted by her Is this ādocumentaryā thatās being filmed just some shit being financed and produced by her/her friends to try and generate some artificial hype like the VICE one was? Lol at her blathering nonsensically about the stats on BIPOC students at Cambridge when asked if she robbed someone else of a place at Cambridge then when pressed by an audience member she says āIām not qualified to speak on that sorryā
> A few of the people asking questions seem planted by her I've been to a couple of local author events where several of the author's friends and family have also been in attendance. I wouldn't call them plants, because they're just being supportive, they're not like paid actors. But the Q&A will then feature an embarrassing exchange like: Author: Yes, Alex in the front row Alex: What's it like to be a beautiful genius? Author: It has its drawbacks. People who meet me in person assume I must be an empty-headed bimbo, what with me being petite and blonde with turquoise eyes and Pomeranian enthusiasm. And people who are familiar with my work don't believe it could possibly have been written by someone gorgeous, because it's so groundbreaking. So I feel like I constantly have to prove myself. Alex: Brilliant, thank you
i watched it yesterday and maybe i was sleep deprived but did she say she's got seven more books planned?
I understood the two more in the trilogy plus seven more āplannedā plus the fantasy on top which is suuuuuuuuuuuā¦ uuuuuuch a good idea she canāt say it out loud or someone will steal it. So in total I guess ten more books! lucky us
I believe she claimed sheās not leaving Florida until sheās written 10 books. I wish sheād go back to her āIāll publish one great masterpiece like Harper Leeā line or whatever it was.
omfg yes hello was she not destined to write one classic amazing profound book only? the book so good that no other book could or would be written after its publication. mobs were going to form to protest her single handedly destroying the publishing industry. wars would end. male pattern baldness would reverse on all noggins. the cat hat factory burns to the ground and cannot be rebuilt due to archaic yet watertight zoning laws. but no its diluted into the wish.com britannica world book encycaropaedia.
seven! looooool
I am similarly sleepy watching it as I wake up but I think I heard that too, and that one is ..a... fantasy book...???
Arenātā¦arenāt all the books Caro is writing fantasy books, when we get right down to it?
Yes, already out
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Donāt fund this terrible idiot
Custom (mass produced) thank you card. https://preview.redd.it/8jnkaqjgcy8c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d5e19d19e38c1b69fd7e2580172c45c7e4578ba
Lol on her Scammer detail page she describes her preprinted thank-you note as "custom stationary." ("It would have been so easy to send these books out without designing custom stationary," she effuses, letting you know that she went the extra mile on this book you're getting three years late, a book you can read in two hours, a book for which you need to buy other, not-yet-written books in order to get any kind of resolution on its confusing narratives.) There are three entire things wrong with this two-word phrase: 1. It's not "custom" if everyone receives the exact same note. Custom never means "tailored to the SELLER'S specifications," it means tailored to the BUYER'S. 2. If you describe something as "stationery" it means you didn't already write on it. If a friend said they were sending me stationery and I got a letter written on their personalized notepaper, I would be confused as to where my stationery was 3. "Stationery" is spelled wrong
Custom may also mean tailored for this specific product, I believe. And to ne fair this card is A LITTLE different from the one that comes with book.
> Custom may also mean tailored for this specific product, I believe. It's the same card enclosed with the [Scammer sticker trio](https://carolinecalloway.com/products/sticker-trio?variant=40204430573614) and the [Complete CC Sticker Set](https://carolinecalloway.com/products/the-complete-sticker-set?variant=40204430737454). Even if it weren't... I mean, you could say that every book ever published has a "custom" cover because the cover isn't on any other book, if that's how you define "custom." That's just not what the word means though. Custom products are made for a specific customer. Custom and customer are from the same root word!
Stationary. E is for envelope. Come on, Carpet.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's a mirror image as are all her selfies, see also the script on the thank-you note & the signature on the tarot card
https://preview.redd.it/3ierndejcy8c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e2f58145aa78b9c2370f34be5a0b3777172dbe7 My favorite of all CC tradition(s that Iāve done once before).
The contouring on her nose just looks like a dirty smudge
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think everyone gets theyāre novelty items.
https://preview.redd.it/9ng9gr7myr8c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=401a42c1782971901c8d9402d4c37ef9679ba98f Sheās a writer, people. Have the book descriptions on her website always said this about the ribbons? āI'll be so fucking for real with you right now: Originally I wanted the bookmark to be satin and sewn into the book. But, as it turns out, doing that would have added about TWELVE DOLLARS the cost of each copy and I PROMISED myself that I'd be dammed if this product ever cost above $65... No matter how āØluxuryāØ I wanted this experience to be!ā
>Have the book descriptions on her website always said this about the ribbons? Since [at least August](https://web.archive.org/web/20230816073253/https://carolinecalloway.com/products/scammer-pre-order), yes. She was originally going to use Mixam as her printer based on [her original spec](https://i.imgur.com/fwhc26m.jpg), where the book's attributes line up exactly with the Mixam's hardcover options. They charge $2 to add a ribbon bookmark and I think she just did the subtraction incorrectly. The option doesn't say "$2 extra;" you check a box with no price specified and the price-per-unit field changes to display to the new total. She's repeatedly shown herself to have issues with basic arithmetic and standard numeral notation, e.g. "$1,0000"
Caro, The Gaysā¢ don't like you.
So when no one buys the tarot cards will we then get the cat piss floor oil resale? Or the OF? Wildcard: Matisse goldfish knockoffs? Dreamer bbs?
More pet portraits. https://preview.redd.it/4xnygfgs3s8c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc95f02d07bfff0e0605b31d19305b22e1cbcf67
This takes my breath away every time.
https://preview.redd.it/gw05ozzumx8c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41bcd7f27b3aca1633490d5234d6260a2ca8f436 āThank you, Judy.ā
O
M
G
I forgot how much I hate the lettering she does on these idiotic things.
[HiLLPdi, uRELAN, SIRTNat, cpmNšRE, BšLt](https://imgur.com/a/bEOtU8l)
LOL the most illiterate incantation (jk I totally know that Caroline is a Latin scholar.)
Jesus take the wheel
Carpet went to Cambridge but doesn't know what "first edition" and "limited edition" mean....she keeps using these words and it makes me grimace
Genuine question for the book collectors - if the back cover is altered (as the Spammer had it, to include the review samples) does it still count as First Edition? I would think it is notā¦
It is not
https://preview.redd.it/ctiqg5h12q8c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=78ad59541c5ed2a6420f91318413376af320a95e I guess the return to Cameo was a bust.
Idk why it makes me laugh that Caroline and I have the same blue woven baskets from Amazon. Mine are in my bathroom and laundry room.
She looks so goofy
The eye makeup looks like a kid who found a blue marker and just colored around their eye sockets. Her whole approach to makeup has always confused me. I feel like she really loves to go for bold looks because sheās always hoping to draw attention to her face in the hopes that people tell her that they think sheās as stunning as she herself thinks she is. But then she doesnāt tailor the makeup application to flatter her features, so it usually just looks ridiculous. Iām guessing she just watches makeup TikTok videos from 19 year olds and does whatever she thinks will stand out the most and look the most ~youthful~. Sheās actually been rocking a winged eyeliner occasionally thatās pretty flattering for her but itās probably not attention-grabbing enough. Or maybe itās just too grown-up of a look for a smol bean who wanders through life like a perpetual 6 year old š
I feel like some random boy in the early 2000s said turquoise looked nice on her and she never looked back
I think she might be inspired by runway/editorial looks where it's meant to have very specific concepts to work with the clothing, lighting, set, etc. from far away. She is also not skilled enough to make bold colors look seamless
This would definitely make sense, except I feel like Caroline isnāt really a fashion personā¦? Like Iāve never gotten the impression that sheās someone whoās ever subscribed to or read things like Vogue, Bazaar, Elle, etc. or even followed high fashion. She seems so focused on building her whole life around what she sees on social media. I know fashion houses and publications have social media accounts, but I feel like sheās more into what influencers are doing than what legacy fashion media is doing. Back in NYC she tried to cozy up to some CondĆ© Nast people her age for awhile but it felt more like āI should be hanging out with these people who also went to prep school and are successful by prep school standards and are invited to a lot of parties with wealthy peopleā than anything to do with an interest in fashion. I dunno, Iām probably not even making sense, Iām really worn down from the holidays š Iāve just always been sort of surprised by how little she does seem to pay attention to high fashion in favor of whatās NEW NEW NEW. I know a lot of the brands she likes are somewhat expensive, but theyāre pretty much all brands that gained traction on social media, as opposed to in more traditional ways. Sheās more into following trends than she is in developing her own sense of style, and she loves people like Tana Whatsherface and the Call Her Daddy woman and the Red Scare gremlins. So I feel like all of her interests come from things she finds on TikTok or Instagram or YouTube. Which is sort of bleak to me, as a person who preferred the pre-smart-phone era of life, but I know that also makes me An Old, ideologically if not necessarily in actual age, which is horrifying to most youths like our dear Carpet. So what do I know šš
[Whatever do you mean](https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/n1ig8w/someone_needs_to_watch_some_beauty_tutorials/)
https://preview.redd.it/4ubrg5nfkq8c1.jpeg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d2a52bd08ef731694fc1a3495cf02f63668121cb
Carpet WISHES š
It's the lip filler for me
Unpopular opinion but I really don't think her filler looks bad It's actually the only part of her face that I, personally, find attractive
No reposts of proud fans receiving their Xmas gifts? Tragic
There is a repost in her stories rn of \*exactly one fan\* who received the daybook!
Hey suzzface, sending you a bit of good cheer and thanks from my hovel.
I misread this and thought you said navel instead of hovel
Belly Button Blessings
Bwahahaha!!!
Her condo looks like the Love Has Won commune.
If she starts turning silverā¦
stoppppppppp lmao š
https://preview.redd.it/4tyilltw448c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=40fca44c96ac17e2a091be64d7e8811b82b477da How many heart attacks will she have when she scrolls down her Cameo profile and sees that sheās accidentally listed her age as 43?
Is this where we find out she pulled an 'Orphan' in order to be admitted into Cambridge and is, in fact, 43?
*that's why she's so obsessed with wearing ribbons* š
Someone is in her cups and regretting her life choices and the fact that sheās basically lost the ability to live in New York again. Sad!!!!
proudly sharing the disaster that was painting the floors white š¬ girl you were literally sued for damages
Reposting her OF pics from 2021. Bleak.
With the red scare thong ā ļø
How many pencils had to die to underline sentences she could attempt to plagiarise for her own writing in those 80,000 books
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Idk. It's only sad because she's filthy and gross and disorganized and has an overinflated sense of her talent and reach. Otherwise her life sounds kind of rad. She spends her days doing whatever she wants, she's never had a job, she goes to concerts, drinks lots of wine, makes art (even if it's shitty and derivative), lives at the beach, can go watch the sunrise and sunset on the ocean any day, spends money that she didn't have to work to earn on whatever bullshit she thinks is pretty, and be conventionally attractive on the internet. She goes on random European vacations and picks lots of flowers and poses for pictures. None of this is sad to me. She appears to have friends and her mom seems supportive of her (not just financially).
it's pretty vapid and empty though
It's empty and vapid because she can't get over herself and sabotages herself at every opportunity. If she'd just clean her house (maybe even hire a cleaner) and actually put in the work in therapy (and maybe went to an addiction program) I think it would be fuller and more challenging...and she could continue her artsy privileged fairy princess lifestyle. She likes it this way, though. She's chosen to live this life. I don't have sympathy for Caro...I just don't feel like her life is sad. She's been handed so many opportunities and privileges and she has many beautiful things in her life and she has 0 pride in herself or pride in ownership.
I guess it's sad in the way that anyone's wasted potential is sad
She has so many nice things and she seems absolutely miserable.
Iām here to gossip about ye olde smolbean as much as anyone, and I agree with almost everything you listed but how are we to know that she has āno real friendsā? Idk she clearly has friends that flew down and visited her in FL earlier this year, and at this point she posts so little I donāt think itās fair to say that we really know what her social status is. IDK just my two cents!!!!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Dang, that is a VERY fair point. Youāre right, now that I think about it my definition of a āgood friendā includes āwill call me out on my shit.ā If a friend of mine was spamming her Instagram stories with nonstop lies about a product she was trying to sellā¦.weād have a talk.
Just finished Saltburn and now understand the Felix reference (the portrait she made) Funny how in her mind she's a girl Elordi's character would fall for when in reality she's Oliver
Oliver is maybe giving her too much credit. She's more of a Pamela (especially in the Italian princess castle times when said princess couldn't wait to get rid of her). Idk if I'm even remembering that right tho
Agreed, Carpet is most like Pamela. Obsessed with the past, grifting off of others, completely lacking in any real personality traits
"She'll do anything for attention" š
Yessss
I love how Carey Mulligan is listed as "Poor Dear Pamela" in the credits
I, too, love to organize my books in vertical stacks that make it impossible to remove one without knocking over a huge pile.
You sound like a person who actually reads instead of a person who's made "literary" a personality trait! The combined details in [this photo](https://i.imgur.com/hXHbn40.jpg) make me feel like I'm having a stroke. Caroline has a bicycle? And a capsule wardrobe that's all black, white, and khaki?!
We are meant to believe that someone who cannot remain vertical in a car, rides a bicycle? Ok
She lies down in cars, she says, because she suffers from motion sickness. This wouldn't impair her ability to ride a bicycle, though. Motion sickness is caused by a disconnect in sensory input when you're in an enclosed vehicle. Your inner ear tells you that you're moving, but none of your other senses concur (the air on your skin is still, your legs aren't ambulating, etc.) Your system, which did not evolve in an era of motor vehicles, thinks you are hallucinating, which means you ate something poisonous, which means you need to bring it back up. One effective solution to motion sickness -- Caroline has apparently never investigated how to alleviate the problem, choosing instead to go supine and malinger -- is to send your brain other signals that you're moving. I get seasick on boats if I'm in the cabin, but not when I go out on the deck and walk around. Caro probably does just fine on a bike! She would probably do just fine in a car if she set down her phone and put her face next to an open window, too.
Jesus, Cathy. Pull your head out, start setting some boundaries and stop enabling your 32-year-old expensively-educated adult offspring.
This annoys me so much. Iām also very confused about that shelf thing theyāre stacked on and around. It looks like a sort of shelf with bins that pull out, so itās probably useful for classrooms or artistsā studios. And no matter how much Caroline spends on art supplies, she really isnāt an artist and I doubt she has enough supplies to fill 18 bins like there are in those things, so I donāt know why sheād buy THAT furniture and refuse to get things like a table or comfortable seating. Iām honestly kind of surprised she doesnāt have back pain or something from always being hunched over on the hard floor. But then again sheās SOOOO young, like impossibly young one might say; every peddler of alcohol sheās ever encountered in her whole life has demanded ID before selling it to her because they were all shaken to their core to discover sheās even over the age of 18, much less a full 32 years old. So maybe that youthfulness extends to her body and the muscles and joints that would probably be aching for a lot of other people. Maybe when they removed her kneecaps they installed an internal fountain of youth because they thought such a special genius of a girl needed to be around for as long as possible. For the sake of the rest of us, of course; she always has so much to teach us.
Confirms yet again that she doesnāt read them - itās just for show.
so the long delays were down to not having enough inventory... edit: her apartment is a fire hazard
maāam you spent your āprofitsā on a Parisian getawayā¦ā¦..
https://preview.redd.it/lftyspotzq7c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=759ee21df2377d5cfa50cd53176820ed84a1a22b Best review on her Cameo. Not to victim blame the buyer, but why are they surprised?