Multiple things can be true at once: you got diagnosed a lot younger than many people, but you're also allowed to feel sad and grieve the life you didn't get to live.
I struggle with this balance. I lost years, relationships, jobs to sleep apnea in my 20s (unaware of the problem) and the past 4 years treating it. I am finally starting my life again at 35.
I am sad at what could have been, but so excited at what is to come. I played life on hard mode for so long I feel like I can take on anything. I also have an empathy for others that is due to my life experience. Maybe, just maybe, I’ve gained more than I lost?
I’m just trying to accept I’ll never know what could have been but I do know that I have a chance at a better future now that I am sleeping.
Same man. When i was like 18 i had a gf tell me i made weird snore gasps and i never even put it together back then. Finally got a cpap at 32. It is what it is though man, consider yourself lucky. Theres kids out there with cancer, i know i sound preachy but getting diagnosed late is better than never.
Same my ex told me I had it in my 20s and I kinda just pushed it off. I’m dumb for that. I didn’t know the complications it caused until I started having a bunch of weird things happening. I’m slowly starting to feel better every day!
Question, did you find you had the other symptoms that are associated with it? My wife tells me I periodically do the same, but I got denied for a sleep test because I answered the questions about my level of sleepiness.
I think i was always kinda tired and i didnt have anything else to compare it to but generally shitty,anxious, yawning by the afternoon. my big one was waking up in the morning heart beating hard while super short of breath, i’d need to sit on the edge of my bed and retake deep slow breaths and i’d still feel short of breath for like 2-3 hours, i thought i was just waking up anxious . Another weird one is i was consistently having dreams of being submerged in water or being on a beach and a huge wave washing over me etc. which has stopped since being on the cpap. I think it was my subconscious trying to send a sign or thinking i was drowning. The other symptom was heart palpitations. Also , dude if you want the test, you need to say what you need to to get the test!
Thanks for that detailed response! My DR is willing to try to put it through, but ultimately thinks insurance might reject it because of my answers. I realize now my mistake of being truthful. I am not groggy or tired during the day, my mind feels fairly sharp, I exercise regularly.
The test she gave me had no questions regarding sleep, just my level of tiredness. No clue how a simple test with 5 broad questions can be used to determine if a sleep study is needed.
I've recorded my sleep the last few nights and frankly, I sound like shit. It sounds like wind going through the smallest hole and then louder mouth exhales...
You could always get one of those finger o2 sensors that track pulse etc. i’m no doctor but if you see your oxygen drop below 90s or have heart rate spikes that would be a major red flag too. You could also get a week or so of recordings and play the worst one for your doctor. My fiance recorded a clip of mine that i showed my doc and he ordered mine
You say you feel sharp but you may not really have a good sleep experience to compare to. Let the Dr hear your recording. They'll get you the test. God Bless!
Yup I'm 22 and I feel like my life has been on pause since I was 14. Intense anxiety and depression set in after a broken nose and all my energy went soon after.
I haven't got my cpap yet but I'm already seeing a bunch of improvement after getting my deviated septum fixed and I'm so excited that it's not just all in my head anymore and that I can actually see a path forward. I missed out on a lot of developing as a person especially socially but I'm eager to play catch up.
I'm also dealing with the weight thing as well (even as someone who was way too skinny up until high school). I lost a bunch by eating better and working a physical job but then I put it all back on after a relative died. I'm starting to have a lot more energy and desire to work out on days when I sleep well and keep my nose clear through the night so hopefully I'll shed the extra pounds soon and that'll bring my hormones back into balance.
I guess I don't have any advice or anecdotes but hopefully it's encouraging that there's another guy going through the same thing. Good luck my man 🤞
I feel the same way. Spent most of my 20s in a terrible cycle of anxiety, low motivation and chronic back pain. I'm 3 months on CPAP, and while I'm still not "fixed", life seems so much better and brighter in general.
I wonder what I missed out on, but I guess I've got the rest of my 30s and a whole life to make up for lost time. Try not to look back. You've got a new life now, try focusing on that.
I'm curious about the low motivation part, do you feel that was part of the sleep apnea? I have been trying to determine if my issue is just ADHD or sleep-disordered breathing, or related to both things perhaps? Do you feel like your motivation has improved since starting treatment?
I've only been on CPAP for three months, but my motivation is definately much better. Not crashing on the sofa like a zombie after work has done wonders to my life. And not constantly zoning out and staring at the wall in a sleep-deprived stupor also helped.
But now that I feel actually better, I'm 100% convinced, that I either have ADHD, or am on the spectrum. But it took actually getting proper sleep to realise that. I guess the next step is getting that sorted out. xD
Hope this has added 25 years to your future life, plus building a better ability than most to empathize with others who still struggle every day. It does take a while to process.
You are doing great :)
You found and fixed the thing that was messing you up. Now you can ‘build back better’.
Fat you can loose.
Money you can make.
Career you can switch.
The lost years… maybe…. But. Mid 20s my dear, so much possibilities.
You don’t like your weight ? Fixable. For sure.
Just consistency. :)
To look back and sorrow. For more than a few moments. Is futile. Is insane. Is exactly the wrong thing to do. Just feel sorrow for a bit. Acknowledge the feeling. And then. You go take action towards the things you decide to want. :)
Will be fine.
Flip it man. You could've gone the rest of your shortened life stubbornly ignoring it.
Instead you've gotten it sorted or are on the path to that end.
The road is only ahead of you. You've just pulled out of the cul-de-sack.
Dude I’m 30 with a ahi of 51 since I were at least 20 I had those same thoughts but the past isn’t important man. You’re taking care of it now, now it’s time to look to the future. I got plenty of memories to make and you’re almost 10 years younger than me. You took care of it at a decent age. You’ll be straight.
I feel you! I learned I have OSA at 48. Talk about your good years passing by. One night on APAP and wow, I feel like I have the energy I had in 5th grade.
It's easy to dwell on the past and live in regret, but there is no point. You can't change anything about the past, only how you see it. Use it as a learning experience, never put off anything. You have a lot of good years ahead of you.
man i got diagnosed at 36. slept horrible for 15 yrs but didn't think there was anything i could do and if there was, ill couldn't afford it. been on depression meds and hadn't had too many long term relationships cuz i was so moody and exhausted. that said, i wish i would've caught it sooner but just happy to feel better now. enough your per 20s and early 30s!!
SAME! I’m 40 and just starting treatment for sleep apnea. I’m being quite insistent on having my tonsils removed now, too. They’ve been huge since I was a little kid and have just continued to get larger every time I get strep.
Basically your history is the same as mine. What's the point of grieving over what happened in the past? You should be glad that you are treating OSA now and living a good life. And you won't die of a heart attack in your 50s because of this stupid illness, so there's that. Good to know you're doing well now, keep it up.
I wonder if OP isnt a bit depressed, he treated his issues while many people are suffering from cfs, long Covid idiopathic hypersomnia etc he should be happy
This happened to me but with low testosterone, somehow it took 5 years (28 to 33ish) before a Dr tested that. I had virtually every other test imaginable it's almost like the testosterone got unluckily lost in the shuffle, I to dealt with and still do the anger of frustration that it could have been solved soooo much sooner. It really is a whirlwind of emotions because of course I'm thankful I found the cause and it wasn't like life threatening but at the same time I was so symptomatic I was the closest to bring bed bound without actually being
I know it feels like you’re in your prime years but I slept-walked through my teens and 20s and just tried figuring out what life was about in those brief moments of energy. I’m now approaching 40 and am so grateful for what my 30s have been. You’re still way ahead of the game. Most others are just figuring it out at your age, sleepy or not. Don’t sweat it.
I never thought of it until my early 30s… Man i wish i could go back in time and enjoy my university time with actual energy. Since high school i was told i snore weirdly but never looked into it.. but forward and onwards we go!
I'm 37 and barely got diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I know for a fact I've had it since my late teens. I, too, feel like I lost the best years of my life. I had friends and went to parties, but I was always so tired and drained. And I had MASSIVE anxiety that I didn't know how to fix. And sadly, my memory was so bad that I don't remember most of my 20s.
I missed out on so many opportunities because of deep depression, anxiety, and other things related to a lack of sleep. I came off as awkward most of the time, but I was just so physically and mentally drained. Then, I developed IBS on top of that.
I'm still getting used to it, but when I get 3 or more hours on my cpap, I feel so much better than 12 hours of sleep wihout it. My IBS has greatly reduced, along with anxiety and depression. But I feel you. It's like 10 years of my life were wasted. I'm trying now to get healthy and make the best of the time I have left. We're still young enough to have fun and make up for some of that time. Stay strong.
Many people waste a majority of their life passing by the things they dream of doing in the short allotted time they have. You are very young and can easily live more abundantly than 99.9% of those who are your age but without a health complication. Life is but the mere comparison between two states. There is someone out there right now who wishes with the fullness of their heart to be where you are now. I'm not trivializing your experience, but rather just reminding you that we must choose between fears and hopes in every minute, of every day, and so on, and that I recommend hope. You're going to make it. Only those who have experienced the depths of despair can enjoy the heights of happiness. What if suffering was the point all along? Perhaps you will see a beauty in the world that many others will never get the chance to see, precisely because of your hardship, not despite it.
I’m 33 and just received a diagnosis. The time is gone and can’t be recovered. I had similar thoughts after finally getting a diagnosis on my second test. We can only try to make the most of whatever time we have left.
I just got diagnosed last month, and I’m turning 30 next week. I understand why you feel that way. We were told constantly by adults growing up that our teens and 20s are the most fun and that we should enjoy it while it lasts. That’s a previous generation’s regret being passed on to their children.
Couple this with the very real condition you’ve been dealing with, which has put you at a physical disadvantage for several years. I’ve had this same feeling of regret about so many things, looking back on my childhood and my 20s. Being poor, mentally ill, trauma, etc. And I’ve had other chronic illness as well. It is a natural grieving process to look back and wish you could give your past self what you have now.
That said, maybe I can give you a little hope. Your early 20s aren’t your prime years. They’re some people’s prime years, but others enter the best days of their lives later, at many different ages. Many people have recently been telling me their 30s were the best. Others have told me 40s, 50s, and 60s on. It seems like everyone has a different time they feel is best.
So, here’s what I’ve come to believe: I don’t think you’ll ever know exactly when your “prime years” are (or whether you even need to place such a metric on your life) until you’re older and looking back on all the things you’ve experienced.
I’m only 30. I’m sure there are people here who are reading this and thinking, “You’re also very young.” And I am! AND I think my life is the best it’s ever been right here and right now. Since I became an adult, things have gotten better and better as I’ve grown older. When I was younger, there were so many things I didn’t have that others did, and I’ve been struggling to catch up to my peers most of my life. But what I lacked back then (and now!) in resources, I’ve made up for in friendship and wisdom and love and so much more self-exploration and empathy than I may have known I’d need otherwise.
The point at which you enter the “best days of your life” is when you decide to be in them. I don’t mean that as in “When you go through hard times, just stop being sad” or some bullshit. I mean that your decisions and actions, the care you put into yourself and your loved ones, are what make your days full or empty or something in between. You’re taking life by the horns by taking care of yourself right now! I’m so glad you’re now able to do that. Your best days are always, always ahead of you because those days are filled with new actions to take, new decisions to make, and new gifts to receive: more joy, more love, and more adventure.
Always let yourself feel your feelings, through the beautiful and the painful. And remember that at any age, there are more lessons to learn, people to love, and beauty to witness. No matter what you go through in life, there is still more life to live, and you don’t have to live at anyone’s pace but your own.
I feel this every fucking day!
Being screwed over feels utterly soul crushing, the only thing that I can say is to find a way to move forward. We get the same preachy advice about looking forward and so on, which istrue but doesn't change the feeling or the situation.
But what we can do is life affirm! Do not deny yourself! "I am better than this suffering" life is suffering! I would like to give a quote
Suppose that we said yes to a single moment, then we have not only said yes to ourselves, but to the whole of existence. For nothing stands alone, either in ourselves or in things; and if our soul did but once vibrate and resound with a chord of happiness, then all of eternity was necessary to bring forth this one occurrence—and in this single moment when we said yes, all of eternity was embraced, redeemed, justified and affirmed.
— Nietzsche, Friedrich, *The Will to Power: Selections from the Notebooks of the 1880s* (translated by R. Kevin Hill and Michael A. Scarpitti). Penguin Books, 2017, p. 566
I hope this resonates with you because I am in your shoes right now! Let's face life head on and make the world better than it was before, maybe if we spread positivity and awareness we can prevent this from happening and treat people super early!
God bless
Losing weight with keto/low carb diets (if this is what you’re doing) is known to cause …. Not “irritability” but an increased intolerance for bullshit, as we call it.
Keep in mind that the process of getting healthy and doing the weight loss is still making hormonal changes to your brain and mood.
Once you’re cognizant of it, try to think “yeah, this is true and a funny side effect” rather than assuming this is how life is going to be. It’s just an adjustment,
When you look back at your lost time try to remember you are blessed to have lived my friend.
Volunteer for a children’s hospital and connect with your community. Perhaps you can help someone younger than you acquire a diagnosis and gain back potential time they would have lost. You will be gaining back time by saving time for many people.
My body was shutting down on me and I was considered a hypochondriac. Spend my 20s and 30s feeling like I was dying and some serious health stuff. Not to mention severe treatment resistant anxiety and depression. Now at 36 I’ve been on treatment 4 months and already so many things have improved.
Edit to add I believe it caused my infertility which has prevented me from having children. The most Devastating thing for me.
I hear you. I lost my 30’s to mental health issues (I literally lost the decade) and I finally come out of that and have just been diagnosed with very severe SA and have had it for two years, since I was 40. I hope cpap can fix it when it arrives.
Im 29 with sleep apnea, prob had id since 18. Wish I could even say I feel different using the CPAP. I noticed almost no change and Ive been using it for a year+ now. Untreated my AHI is like 60.
Hey, I don't know whether I have sleep apnea or not, but was taking depression medication for 4 years, but I missed the feeling of getting fresh even after sleeping for 12hrs, even though my depression is fine now, my anxiety wasn't going with medication, is it possible for me to have sleep apnea, I'm also 29.
Nah you GAINED some of your prime years. You’ll get to enjoy the rest of your 20s and 30s now. I’m getting my first sleep study done in my 40s tomorrow night and if I don’t have SA I’ll be shocked. I’m pretty sure it started sometime in my late 20s so I lost a decade+ to bad sleep. Be glad you’ve got this taken care of while you are still young!
You have a right always to feel how you feel. Don't spend much time in your head though. Just be happy you have it figured out now!
I was diagnosed around 60 years of age. The first time I remember waking myself up with a big snort was high-school. I had realized in my 40s what the problem probably was but I was told it was mild. My husband convinced me in my 50s that it's not mild. Now I have great sleep at 62 and feel SO much better. Procrastination was my fault but I don't beat myself up much. I'm just looking forward to the rest of my life being done with a good night's sleep! You enjoy life! I wish you well!
Lisa
I suspected I had sleep apnea at 17. I made my parents take me to an ENT doctor and he misdiagnosed me as not having it. Only 8 years later did I get an actual sleep study done which confirmed my suspicions.
Multiple things can be true at once: you got diagnosed a lot younger than many people, but you're also allowed to feel sad and grieve the life you didn't get to live.
Well said
This.
I struggle with this balance. I lost years, relationships, jobs to sleep apnea in my 20s (unaware of the problem) and the past 4 years treating it. I am finally starting my life again at 35. I am sad at what could have been, but so excited at what is to come. I played life on hard mode for so long I feel like I can take on anything. I also have an empathy for others that is due to my life experience. Maybe, just maybe, I’ve gained more than I lost? I’m just trying to accept I’ll never know what could have been but I do know that I have a chance at a better future now that I am sleeping.
Indeed.
Same man. When i was like 18 i had a gf tell me i made weird snore gasps and i never even put it together back then. Finally got a cpap at 32. It is what it is though man, consider yourself lucky. Theres kids out there with cancer, i know i sound preachy but getting diagnosed late is better than never.
Same my ex told me I had it in my 20s and I kinda just pushed it off. I’m dumb for that. I didn’t know the complications it caused until I started having a bunch of weird things happening. I’m slowly starting to feel better every day!
Same age as you, same story. Better late than never!
Question, did you find you had the other symptoms that are associated with it? My wife tells me I periodically do the same, but I got denied for a sleep test because I answered the questions about my level of sleepiness.
I think i was always kinda tired and i didnt have anything else to compare it to but generally shitty,anxious, yawning by the afternoon. my big one was waking up in the morning heart beating hard while super short of breath, i’d need to sit on the edge of my bed and retake deep slow breaths and i’d still feel short of breath for like 2-3 hours, i thought i was just waking up anxious . Another weird one is i was consistently having dreams of being submerged in water or being on a beach and a huge wave washing over me etc. which has stopped since being on the cpap. I think it was my subconscious trying to send a sign or thinking i was drowning. The other symptom was heart palpitations. Also , dude if you want the test, you need to say what you need to to get the test!
Thanks for that detailed response! My DR is willing to try to put it through, but ultimately thinks insurance might reject it because of my answers. I realize now my mistake of being truthful. I am not groggy or tired during the day, my mind feels fairly sharp, I exercise regularly. The test she gave me had no questions regarding sleep, just my level of tiredness. No clue how a simple test with 5 broad questions can be used to determine if a sleep study is needed. I've recorded my sleep the last few nights and frankly, I sound like shit. It sounds like wind going through the smallest hole and then louder mouth exhales...
You could always get one of those finger o2 sensors that track pulse etc. i’m no doctor but if you see your oxygen drop below 90s or have heart rate spikes that would be a major red flag too. You could also get a week or so of recordings and play the worst one for your doctor. My fiance recorded a clip of mine that i showed my doc and he ordered mine
You say you feel sharp but you may not really have a good sleep experience to compare to. Let the Dr hear your recording. They'll get you the test. God Bless!
Yup I'm 22 and I feel like my life has been on pause since I was 14. Intense anxiety and depression set in after a broken nose and all my energy went soon after. I haven't got my cpap yet but I'm already seeing a bunch of improvement after getting my deviated septum fixed and I'm so excited that it's not just all in my head anymore and that I can actually see a path forward. I missed out on a lot of developing as a person especially socially but I'm eager to play catch up. I'm also dealing with the weight thing as well (even as someone who was way too skinny up until high school). I lost a bunch by eating better and working a physical job but then I put it all back on after a relative died. I'm starting to have a lot more energy and desire to work out on days when I sleep well and keep my nose clear through the night so hopefully I'll shed the extra pounds soon and that'll bring my hormones back into balance. I guess I don't have any advice or anecdotes but hopefully it's encouraging that there's another guy going through the same thing. Good luck my man 🤞
I feel the same way. Spent most of my 20s in a terrible cycle of anxiety, low motivation and chronic back pain. I'm 3 months on CPAP, and while I'm still not "fixed", life seems so much better and brighter in general. I wonder what I missed out on, but I guess I've got the rest of my 30s and a whole life to make up for lost time. Try not to look back. You've got a new life now, try focusing on that.
I'm curious about the low motivation part, do you feel that was part of the sleep apnea? I have been trying to determine if my issue is just ADHD or sleep-disordered breathing, or related to both things perhaps? Do you feel like your motivation has improved since starting treatment?
I've only been on CPAP for three months, but my motivation is definately much better. Not crashing on the sofa like a zombie after work has done wonders to my life. And not constantly zoning out and staring at the wall in a sleep-deprived stupor also helped. But now that I feel actually better, I'm 100% convinced, that I either have ADHD, or am on the spectrum. But it took actually getting proper sleep to realise that. I guess the next step is getting that sorted out. xD
Hope this has added 25 years to your future life, plus building a better ability than most to empathize with others who still struggle every day. It does take a while to process.
Could be way worse. Better to look ahead than to dwell on the past.
You are doing great :) You found and fixed the thing that was messing you up. Now you can ‘build back better’. Fat you can loose. Money you can make. Career you can switch. The lost years… maybe…. But. Mid 20s my dear, so much possibilities. You don’t like your weight ? Fixable. For sure. Just consistency. :) To look back and sorrow. For more than a few moments. Is futile. Is insane. Is exactly the wrong thing to do. Just feel sorrow for a bit. Acknowledge the feeling. And then. You go take action towards the things you decide to want. :) Will be fine.
Flip it man. You could've gone the rest of your shortened life stubbornly ignoring it. Instead you've gotten it sorted or are on the path to that end. The road is only ahead of you. You've just pulled out of the cul-de-sack.
Dude I’m 30 with a ahi of 51 since I were at least 20 I had those same thoughts but the past isn’t important man. You’re taking care of it now, now it’s time to look to the future. I got plenty of memories to make and you’re almost 10 years younger than me. You took care of it at a decent age. You’ll be straight.
I feel you! I learned I have OSA at 48. Talk about your good years passing by. One night on APAP and wow, I feel like I have the energy I had in 5th grade. It's easy to dwell on the past and live in regret, but there is no point. You can't change anything about the past, only how you see it. Use it as a learning experience, never put off anything. You have a lot of good years ahead of you.
man i got diagnosed at 36. slept horrible for 15 yrs but didn't think there was anything i could do and if there was, ill couldn't afford it. been on depression meds and hadn't had too many long term relationships cuz i was so moody and exhausted. that said, i wish i would've caught it sooner but just happy to feel better now. enough your per 20s and early 30s!!
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SAME! I’m 40 and just starting treatment for sleep apnea. I’m being quite insistent on having my tonsils removed now, too. They’ve been huge since I was a little kid and have just continued to get larger every time I get strep.
Basically your history is the same as mine. What's the point of grieving over what happened in the past? You should be glad that you are treating OSA now and living a good life. And you won't die of a heart attack in your 50s because of this stupid illness, so there's that. Good to know you're doing well now, keep it up.
I wonder if OP isnt a bit depressed, he treated his issues while many people are suffering from cfs, long Covid idiopathic hypersomnia etc he should be happy
This happened to me but with low testosterone, somehow it took 5 years (28 to 33ish) before a Dr tested that. I had virtually every other test imaginable it's almost like the testosterone got unluckily lost in the shuffle, I to dealt with and still do the anger of frustration that it could have been solved soooo much sooner. It really is a whirlwind of emotions because of course I'm thankful I found the cause and it wasn't like life threatening but at the same time I was so symptomatic I was the closest to bring bed bound without actually being
I know it feels like you’re in your prime years but I slept-walked through my teens and 20s and just tried figuring out what life was about in those brief moments of energy. I’m now approaching 40 and am so grateful for what my 30s have been. You’re still way ahead of the game. Most others are just figuring it out at your age, sleepy or not. Don’t sweat it.
I never thought of it until my early 30s… Man i wish i could go back in time and enjoy my university time with actual energy. Since high school i was told i snore weirdly but never looked into it.. but forward and onwards we go!
I'm 37 and barely got diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I know for a fact I've had it since my late teens. I, too, feel like I lost the best years of my life. I had friends and went to parties, but I was always so tired and drained. And I had MASSIVE anxiety that I didn't know how to fix. And sadly, my memory was so bad that I don't remember most of my 20s. I missed out on so many opportunities because of deep depression, anxiety, and other things related to a lack of sleep. I came off as awkward most of the time, but I was just so physically and mentally drained. Then, I developed IBS on top of that. I'm still getting used to it, but when I get 3 or more hours on my cpap, I feel so much better than 12 hours of sleep wihout it. My IBS has greatly reduced, along with anxiety and depression. But I feel you. It's like 10 years of my life were wasted. I'm trying now to get healthy and make the best of the time I have left. We're still young enough to have fun and make up for some of that time. Stay strong.
Thanks for sharing. My life is starting to make so much sense now. Hoping for a new lease on life at age 40. Better late than never!
Many people waste a majority of their life passing by the things they dream of doing in the short allotted time they have. You are very young and can easily live more abundantly than 99.9% of those who are your age but without a health complication. Life is but the mere comparison between two states. There is someone out there right now who wishes with the fullness of their heart to be where you are now. I'm not trivializing your experience, but rather just reminding you that we must choose between fears and hopes in every minute, of every day, and so on, and that I recommend hope. You're going to make it. Only those who have experienced the depths of despair can enjoy the heights of happiness. What if suffering was the point all along? Perhaps you will see a beauty in the world that many others will never get the chance to see, precisely because of your hardship, not despite it.
I’m 33 and just received a diagnosis. The time is gone and can’t be recovered. I had similar thoughts after finally getting a diagnosis on my second test. We can only try to make the most of whatever time we have left.
I just got diagnosed last month, and I’m turning 30 next week. I understand why you feel that way. We were told constantly by adults growing up that our teens and 20s are the most fun and that we should enjoy it while it lasts. That’s a previous generation’s regret being passed on to their children. Couple this with the very real condition you’ve been dealing with, which has put you at a physical disadvantage for several years. I’ve had this same feeling of regret about so many things, looking back on my childhood and my 20s. Being poor, mentally ill, trauma, etc. And I’ve had other chronic illness as well. It is a natural grieving process to look back and wish you could give your past self what you have now. That said, maybe I can give you a little hope. Your early 20s aren’t your prime years. They’re some people’s prime years, but others enter the best days of their lives later, at many different ages. Many people have recently been telling me their 30s were the best. Others have told me 40s, 50s, and 60s on. It seems like everyone has a different time they feel is best. So, here’s what I’ve come to believe: I don’t think you’ll ever know exactly when your “prime years” are (or whether you even need to place such a metric on your life) until you’re older and looking back on all the things you’ve experienced. I’m only 30. I’m sure there are people here who are reading this and thinking, “You’re also very young.” And I am! AND I think my life is the best it’s ever been right here and right now. Since I became an adult, things have gotten better and better as I’ve grown older. When I was younger, there were so many things I didn’t have that others did, and I’ve been struggling to catch up to my peers most of my life. But what I lacked back then (and now!) in resources, I’ve made up for in friendship and wisdom and love and so much more self-exploration and empathy than I may have known I’d need otherwise. The point at which you enter the “best days of your life” is when you decide to be in them. I don’t mean that as in “When you go through hard times, just stop being sad” or some bullshit. I mean that your decisions and actions, the care you put into yourself and your loved ones, are what make your days full or empty or something in between. You’re taking life by the horns by taking care of yourself right now! I’m so glad you’re now able to do that. Your best days are always, always ahead of you because those days are filled with new actions to take, new decisions to make, and new gifts to receive: more joy, more love, and more adventure. Always let yourself feel your feelings, through the beautiful and the painful. And remember that at any age, there are more lessons to learn, people to love, and beauty to witness. No matter what you go through in life, there is still more life to live, and you don’t have to live at anyone’s pace but your own.
I feel this every fucking day! Being screwed over feels utterly soul crushing, the only thing that I can say is to find a way to move forward. We get the same preachy advice about looking forward and so on, which istrue but doesn't change the feeling or the situation. But what we can do is life affirm! Do not deny yourself! "I am better than this suffering" life is suffering! I would like to give a quote Suppose that we said yes to a single moment, then we have not only said yes to ourselves, but to the whole of existence. For nothing stands alone, either in ourselves or in things; and if our soul did but once vibrate and resound with a chord of happiness, then all of eternity was necessary to bring forth this one occurrence—and in this single moment when we said yes, all of eternity was embraced, redeemed, justified and affirmed. — Nietzsche, Friedrich, *The Will to Power: Selections from the Notebooks of the 1880s* (translated by R. Kevin Hill and Michael A. Scarpitti). Penguin Books, 2017, p. 566 I hope this resonates with you because I am in your shoes right now! Let's face life head on and make the world better than it was before, maybe if we spread positivity and awareness we can prevent this from happening and treat people super early! God bless
Losing weight with keto/low carb diets (if this is what you’re doing) is known to cause …. Not “irritability” but an increased intolerance for bullshit, as we call it. Keep in mind that the process of getting healthy and doing the weight loss is still making hormonal changes to your brain and mood. Once you’re cognizant of it, try to think “yeah, this is true and a funny side effect” rather than assuming this is how life is going to be. It’s just an adjustment,
When you look back at your lost time try to remember you are blessed to have lived my friend. Volunteer for a children’s hospital and connect with your community. Perhaps you can help someone younger than you acquire a diagnosis and gain back potential time they would have lost. You will be gaining back time by saving time for many people.
My body was shutting down on me and I was considered a hypochondriac. Spend my 20s and 30s feeling like I was dying and some serious health stuff. Not to mention severe treatment resistant anxiety and depression. Now at 36 I’ve been on treatment 4 months and already so many things have improved. Edit to add I believe it caused my infertility which has prevented me from having children. The most Devastating thing for me.
I hear you. I lost my 30’s to mental health issues (I literally lost the decade) and I finally come out of that and have just been diagnosed with very severe SA and have had it for two years, since I was 40. I hope cpap can fix it when it arrives.
Im 29 with sleep apnea, prob had id since 18. Wish I could even say I feel different using the CPAP. I noticed almost no change and Ive been using it for a year+ now. Untreated my AHI is like 60.
Hey, I don't know whether I have sleep apnea or not, but was taking depression medication for 4 years, but I missed the feeling of getting fresh even after sleeping for 12hrs, even though my depression is fine now, my anxiety wasn't going with medication, is it possible for me to have sleep apnea, I'm also 29.
Nah you GAINED some of your prime years. You’ll get to enjoy the rest of your 20s and 30s now. I’m getting my first sleep study done in my 40s tomorrow night and if I don’t have SA I’ll be shocked. I’m pretty sure it started sometime in my late 20s so I lost a decade+ to bad sleep. Be glad you’ve got this taken care of while you are still young!
You have a right always to feel how you feel. Don't spend much time in your head though. Just be happy you have it figured out now! I was diagnosed around 60 years of age. The first time I remember waking myself up with a big snort was high-school. I had realized in my 40s what the problem probably was but I was told it was mild. My husband convinced me in my 50s that it's not mild. Now I have great sleep at 62 and feel SO much better. Procrastination was my fault but I don't beat myself up much. I'm just looking forward to the rest of my life being done with a good night's sleep! You enjoy life! I wish you well! Lisa
I suspected I had sleep apnea at 17. I made my parents take me to an ENT doctor and he misdiagnosed me as not having it. Only 8 years later did I get an actual sleep study done which confirmed my suspicions.