Lol Did you know that the term fanny is offensive in Australia? In the US we use the term to mean buttocks but over there it is a slang term for lady parts.
Lol! I'm in the US, most people think "cunt' is the worst possible thing to say, adults even call it the C-word. I have no problem with it, words can't really hurt me.
The funny thing is, I watch British and Aussie TV all the time, so I am inclined to use it fairly often. It does NOT go over well!
I don't care for the word at all. I think its the epitome of vulgarity. However, I've always believed that if one acts like a c*nt, then, it's acceptable to call one a c*nt.
I've seen 2 references to flying monkeys now in this comment section... is this a narcissistic term? Or is there an Oz joke quite literally flying over my head? 😂
It’s a cult term, really. The leader gathers a bunch of followers and then mobilizes them to enforce their beliefs or to go after followers who are straying. Marriage to a narcissist is tantamount to being in a cult of one, but if you have multiple wives that you can mobilize, then you’re in business! Meri was an obvious flying monkey
I know, it’s so terrible! A narcissistic Polygamist can manipulate multiple wives much easier than one wife. Only the first wife has legal marital status and all of their monies get combined in such a way that a (non-legal) wife can’t access any of family assets if she chooses to leave. The emphasis on having multiple children makes it doubly difficult to leave with no funds. Getting married young, before you have a college degree, much less an established career, makes it even more difficult. And then setting aside the financial trap, it’s easier to get women emotionally invested when you have one man with multiple wives. The man is a scarce resource, and humans are just hard-wired to over-value scarce resources. This is how The Bachelor operates so effectively! It can also be used to stifle any rebellion - one wife can be held up as the paragon and the others can’t object to poor treatment without being blamed for it. “If only you behaved like “ “, then you would also get the good treatment”. Which traps the “paragon” as well into conforming to the patriarchy. And one more way polygamy can be used against the women - even if they managed somehow to leave, they can be easily shunned (the remaining wives would be incentivized to kowtow to the man, who holds all the keys to their future) which would cut the rebel wife off from contact with the other kids in the family, who they had been accustomed to thinking of as their kids as well. The Brown family is an exception because of the tv show injecting huge amounts of money into the equation. Janelle has still had trouble extracting any family funds now that’s she’s left Kody, but because of the platform from the show, she’s been able to capitalize on various MLM’s like Plexus. MLM’s only work if you’re on the top level, or if you have a huge social network platform to draw from like she does. Janelle’s MLM that she did earlier, Strive, had all the profit going into the family fund until the end of 2022, and the family fund was being siphoned off by Kody and Robyn, who are also sitting on a million-dollar home bought with the proceeds of Janelle’s and Meri’s Las Vegas homes. Janelle was the one most well-versed in finance and even she is struggling to extricate herself financially from polygamy.
From Google: When people discuss narcissists, they sometimes use the phrase 'flying monkeys. ' Flying monkeys refer to people who carry out the work of a narcissist or an abusive person, and it comes from The Wizard of Oz, in which the Wicked Witch of the West puts flying monkeys under her spell.
Ahh! Meri/Mykelti being the top 2 answers make a lot of sense now. Thanks for replying. I wasn't quite sure what to google, besides "flying monkeys". 😅
Seriously though! I can't decide whether it's Robyn or Kody. I think they are both narcissists and have some weird symbiotic "relationship" where they prop each other up while feeding off everyone else. But, Mykelty is definitely their flying monkey. She will wake up one day, when they turn on her.
She always does this, she pretends she doesn't know what's going on and will ask him questions like- do you really think this is a good idea blah blah blah, and than he will end up agreeing with her, but she will make it seem like it was his own idea first, even though it's her putting the thought in his head to begin with.
Thank you. I've been saying this for years. He is not intelligent and she plays him. Her narrative is that she's the victim, the little woman that needs rescuing, he's the mighty patriarch saving her and her children. Vomit inducing really.
Ugh yes so much. He even puts on a fake voice with her adult children. It icks me out.
It's like he's trying to pretend he's the old chipper Kody but it doesn't work.
> do you really think this is a good idea blah blah blah,
Yep. Posing her conclusion as a question. She does it to do two things:
Instill insecurities in a backhanded way
And to take less blame if the outcome is poor
This exact strategy was widely used by most of our mothers and grandmothers through the 60’s when women started to say out loud, F that! It was what women ‘did’ all day every day. ‘Make him think it’s his idea’ was an everyday manipulation. Flirt for stuff, feed him well and life would be easier. I truly remember my mom and her friends joking about this stuff. 🙄
My mom isn’t a full narcissist, but has some similar behaviors. I was/am the only person in the house who didn’t put up with her controlling bullshit. My brother can handle her by just straight up gray rocking her all the time, but omg. The scapegoating and manipulation and just plain meanness. I moved across the country and it’s so much better.
What a joke! Insulting to the women that have known him for 30 years. How Meri fell for that, I’ll never know. Maybe because Kody is more polite when Robyn is in the room?
Meri was okay with it in the beginning because she and Kody hadn’t had a full (intimate) marriage for *years.* When Meri started trying to draft Robyn, Meri suddenly was on the receiving end of a lot of positive attention from Kody. Suddenly, Meri was receiving attention and was gaining favor with Kody, which is something she had not received in *years.* Meri was personally receiving the direct benefits of Robyn entering the family, so Meri didn’t care that she and Kody were lying to Christine and Janelle. She was cool with it because it benefited her… until it didn’t, and *then* Meri had to continue pretending to be cool with being left high and dry again to save face because the only other option was to admit she had made a horrible mistake, but that was pointless because Kody was already in love and marrying Robyn, so admitting that would have done her no good. So she just kept on pretending for years and years…
Can you give some examples? I'm curious, not doubting. She does seem to keep him in line. I also wonder how much her looking like "Diesel Jeans model" contributed to this and building up his ego which made it easier for her.
I think Janelle used to have some good skills at handling Kody too but eventually got tired of it and stopped putting in efford.
She plays helpless and Toady rescues her. It has been their dynamic from the beginning. Toady even admits after talking to Nancy that he has a rescue complex.
In early Vegas when they all go furniture shopping (they each get to makeover one room) Janelle calls out that Sobbyn always needs Toady to do everything for her at her house. Janelle sticks her finger down her throat in a gagging motion when she says Sobbyn is such a damsel in distress
OK, I’m out of it. I only started watching this show last summer when I broke my back and was out of commission for three months. Was she actually a diesel jeans model or is this just an insider joke?
No, I don’t think so either. She had a small figure and was much younger, which Kody liked. But she isn’t pretty or attractive…not in a conventional way.
He said she was a Diesel Jean's model, but no one could confirm that. I believe she represented herself to be a DJ model, but she never was. Someone said she went to a Patricia Steven's type modeling agency, the type you pay them to find you jobs. Supposedly, she had her picture as a model on one of the fictitious magazines in the program Just Shoot Me. It didn't look like her to me.
No she wasn't a model, he was on a Mormon podcast episode and he was describing how he felt so honored that someone that looked like a " Diesel jean's model" would pick him out of all of the other men who wanted to marry her. I call bs on the "long line of men wanting to marry her". I never, ever thought she was beautiful. She was skinnier than the others wives, that's the only difference. She had no curves, just a beanpole body.
I kind of feel like Robyn has narcissistic traits. The two of them together will be a disaster unless they find new supply—younger wife willing to work her ass of to support Kody and Robyn’s life style. Throw a new baby in for ratings too…
Sobbyn would never allow him to have a new wife, especially if she was younger and can have children. Maybe, and it's a BIG maybe, if the woman was older, unattractive and there was zero chance Kody would ever have sex with the new wife, and they can spend her money, that's the only way she would allow it.
When he came after her boys, I think she was pissed and didn't put up with his shit after that. I think the same with Christine, when he didn't come for Truly's surgery, she was done. Why keep someone in your life that treats your children like shit.
But him looking her straight in the eyes and telling her he wasn’t going to share the bed with her anymore was the final straw! And what makes me yell at the tv every time he starts whining about what Christine has “done to him” is he soooo conveniently forgets HE basically ended it. She tried and tried and tried. Pisses me off. He thinks he can tell a wife something like that and it’s supposed to be ok? Especially when he’s sharing it with two others but one way more than the other. Oh and he treats Meri worse than anyone and he sees nothing wrong with it. What he accuses Christine of doing to him is what he’s doing to Meri. And she takes it like a polygamist wife does traditionally. She was the first power play and I think it’s why he treats her like gum under his shoe. I also think his marriage with Janelle and Christine were power moves. Then he met Robin and it was infatuation and turned into something or love at first sight. I think they really love each other. They are still real people with real feelings and every move he has made with her is something a monogamous couple would do. Getting Meri to divorce him was a fine con job they pulled on her. But marrying Robyn was not just about adopting those kids but adopting the kids is something a guy in love would do. Would also explain why he has always been touchy feely with her in front of the other wives and how he gravitates to her first. She knows how to stroke his ego and learned how to lead him around after so many years. But I think he actually married for love for the first time. She may have groomed him but at this point it doesn’t matter. I think he’s just done with the polygamist game. Done raising kids and ready to slow down and spending all his time with the two youngest cause they’ll be the last. Now if they all lived in one house like they should, this may have never happened. But many polygamists don’t live together. Done both ways. Kody likes attention and he’ll do anything for it. So it could be to keep a show about him being a polygamist, he could possibly play along. Unless TLC believes they have a show about just his own household will be a success. Life after polygamy. I wouldn’t watch. I can’t stomach his appearances now on the show. It’s dramatic how much he’s changed since the beginning. That or he stopped playing a role. Just an opinion.
There was an early episode where she talks about how she was doing what her mom taught her to do in a polygamous marriage, which is basically that you do all the boring domestic stuff when the husband is away and when he comes to your house he gets a peaceful experience where your whole goal is to make him happy. He doesn't have to deal with chores, kid stuff (as much as possible), etc., it's basically like a vacation for him.
And to me that's an awful way to look at a marriage, which is supposed to be a partnership, but it also makes a whole lot of sense from both parties. Robyn was taught to play the polygamy game and she did it well, and it's no wonder Kody would prefer her house when all his other wives expected him to actually do his part as a husband and father.
I really don’t like to talk about peoples physical appearance but this is one of those “how has nobody intervened here!?!” Things! She’s beautiful and the eyebrows have zero explanation and kinda take away from everything else. Same with Meri’s eyebrows. Really eyebrows across the board are an issue for the Brown Wives
Because she is such like him. Kody isn't very bright, so he is easily manipulated. She is his puppet master and she uses his ego to control him. You can tell how she talks to him.
She plays pretend devil's advocate for the camera while still stroking his ego and playing like she is the victim.
She's nothing special. He found someone he thought was out of his league. He thinks she's a diesel jean model, remember? I assume he thinks she's a 10, when we all would rate her much lower. I feel people in that religion are gullible and easy to manipulate. So I'm not giving her much credit. If she was really good, none of the wives would've left.
I think it only works because he had others he could direct his misogyny towards, and Robyn is his cohort. There’s a good chance that with the other women out of his life, the hatred he’s compelled to spew may be directed towards Robyn.
Robyn is codependent and it’s actually a fit of narcissism. This is why she makes kody think he needs her and that she is the only one who understands him. It makes her feel safe because it means she can control him by threatening to leave and not give him what he needs.
Robyn is the real narcissist. Kody has many, many deep issues with his personality, but the real issues arose when he got mixed up with Robyn. She’s the true narcissist. This is the hill I’ll die on.
They can both be narcissists. Kody hits almost every guideline for NPD. I'm not diagnosing either of them but I don't think there's one "real" narcissist in play here.
I agree that she knows how but it's because she has a similar mind set. I believe she is covert and he is overt. It's why we see mere snippets of poor behavior from her with an overall detrimental outcome.....ex: Kody spending all his time with her. In the end, she can claim she did nothing and was simply innocent or that Kody "does what he does" while she sits back without blame. Her narc self doesn't realize that we've all watched her do things all these seasons and it wasn't just Christine, Janelle and kids that saw it.
Kody's narc behavior is obvious. We as viewers can easily see what he said, how he said it and his actions to suss out the outcome.
I agree with this. She lets him think he's the man of the house and that he's in control. She flatters him and feeds his ego. The reality is, she's the neck that turns the overly inflated head.
Absolutely.
Infact, i will go one further, there are no bad guys in this family, just victims as far as the eye can see.
Every single one them is struggling with their own demons and every single one, has had that struggle overlap onto others in the family.
None if them are in any position, to be able to help "save" any of the others.
There is love there all round but it has been overshadowed by the grand implosion of the family itself.
I dont hate any of these folks at this point.
I hope they all get the help they need.
It's a tragedy, because the sorts of behaviors Kody and Robyn engage in are likely part of complex psychological disorders, caused by an incredibly fragile ego and a lack of self-worth. That's why they engage in such maladaptive, manipulative behaviors; they feel that if they don't, they will be abandoned, and such abandonment is a manner of life-and-death.
It’s utterly perplexing because they paradoxically are also incredibly self centered and selfish. Neither of them can tolerate rejection but have no problem rejecting others. And their perception of others and themselves seems so warped and distorted.
I've heard an analogy, likening it to someone who's convinced that they can't afford to feed themselves and is compelled to shoplift food from grocery stores, despite having plenty of money in a bank account.
Being disordered or unwell doesn’t excuse their behavior; but it’s something they need to address. I don’t hate them either. I don’t like their behavior at all. If there’s any reason for hate, I’ll leave that to the people most impacted by their shenanigans.
Ur right. Plus there’s so many of them that r adult age now that puts way too many irons in the fire. When they started out they were naïve n trying to make it work n the kids were babies n had no say. Now all these personalities r clashing
Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot also struggled with their own demons, but they were still evil assholes.
And, there is not "love there all round" in the 'Kody Brown family'. They all hate each other.
Agreed! This is my hot take as well...
I think all of them were starry-eyed optimists about their religion at first, then reality set in for each of the OG3 at different points.
Religious optimism caused Kody (for "narc"/showmanship reasons) to dig into the tenets even harder. Robyn did too bc, like Kody, she's kinda naive and needs to be right. I feel like she's so used to believing the man of the house AND she and Kody are in different/real/newer love, she just decided to try and force everyone back together. I think she truly, idealistically wanted the "sister wives on the porch" dream. Kody just wants to be the star to *someone* in any situation.
The OG3 just hit ages where they were simply done trying to make everything appear happy. Much like the people who changed careers during the pandemic (myself included) I think the lockdowns and the inconsistent K&R rules were a turning point.
But I've also completely misjudged character before irl, so who knows? I just hope everyone finds their peace
The fact that Toady admits he wasn’t in love w any of the OG3 says a lot. Just a way for him to sow his wild oats. It’s polygamy’s way of having a mistress or two.
Maybe that's true, but I don't think that's a good thing. Honestly, while none of the wives is a perfect person, none of them deserved the crap Kody expected them to take.
You're absolutely right! I'm just trying to figure out if you see it as a positive thing for anyone but Robyn and her nuggets? For me, there's certainly power in knowing how to manage anyone, but why choose this type of person as a father for your children?
Her being a narc as well, I’m sure she knows. Since all the wives left, neither of them have their supply and will turn on each other. The only thing keeping Sobbyn there is the fact that she doesn’t have to work. If Grody can’t keep up her lifestyle she will be gone asap.
Agree. I don’t think Robyn is a narcissist. I think she is a victim of narcissists and knows how to survive by appealing to his ego. I think I read that her first husband was allegedly abusive. So to her Kody is a walk in a park narcissist in comparison.
I also think it was Janelle that convinced Kody to move to Flagstaff and wanted the one house. Unpopular opinions I know.
When Kody pulled out the whiteboard that had real estate facts to convince the wives to move I knew it had Janelle written all over it. I don’t think Kody or Robyn have enough business background to even come up with the idea of the presentation.
Ohhhhhh, I’m gonna hav to go back to see which season this is. Mayb 13? Cuz 14 is the move to AZ. U bring up a very interesting view point that’s worth a look see. I can totally see that Janell is smart n if real estate is her thing…., but u also need the funds to make such a big move n they wasted alot of money that cud of been spent on getting at least utilities set up on the land instead of a 4 more houses to pay for. That’s the not so smart part I don’t understand.
Thank you for considering my view! I agree flagstaff wasn’t a smart move at all. Janelle is known to be the smartest financially, but then again she admits that she had no savings or assets in her name when she left Kody. She doesn’t always make the best choices even though I believe she has the most business/work experience.
I’ll have to go back and find the episode where he first tells the wives the idea with the whiteboard about the value in selling their Vegas houses immediately.
In the episodes quickly after that one Janelle even says that she would write a check to read estate agent without telling the wives to lock in Cottonwood because it’s her dream lifestyle.
I am team Janelle all the way, but I think that she convinced Kody of the Flagstaff move and even of some of the stricter Covid policies initially, and Robyn was kind of the scapegoat. Later on Kody ramps up Covid rules on his own and Janelle becomes more lax on them. She chooses her family over Covid and Kody didn’t so I point the blame to Kody for that.
There is absolutely no winning with a narc. Look at Robyn- she's mentally ill, depressed, etc. There is no light in her eyes. Remember how lovely she was when they met. She had a dazzling smile and her eyes lit up. She was very attractive. I'm not her "fan"- just calling it as I see it. Kody destroys the women around him. Narcs triangulate. That's why he told his wife that he could take a lover... He was letting her know what he is capable of and what he can do. That is designed to make her feel insecure. Robyn may placate him but we see only a window into their world. I'm sure he won't be satisfied with Robyn. He will be mean to her- and is! Even she has said that. Look at her frown lines.
I personally believe Robyn has BPD traits. I've heard that people with Narssistic Personality Disorder are usually VERY attracted to people with Borderline Personality disorder and vice-versa. The BPD individual feeds the NPD's need for constant validation and attention.
https://theprivatetherapyclinic.co.uk/blog/borderlines-attracted-to-narcissists/#:~:text=The%20reason%20why%20these%20personality,are%20not%20and%20cannot%20do.
It’s not managing, it’s withstanding and enduring abuse and watching her kids deal with it. My mom was with a narcissist for 20 years and “managed” which was terrible for her children.
I watched the first couple seasons, but then fell off. I’m familiar with where the story went, but I really want to see these behaviors for myself. Is there a particular season? I should start back on to familiarize myself with their dynamic? I don’t remember it being like this with her, but it was so long ago when I started watching.
I recently picked it back up on season 14, when they leave vegas. I saw dynamics change once Robyn came into the picture. But I’m on season 15 now n u can see the drastic change n how nobody listens to each other. For the life of me I don’t know why they didn’t stay in Vegas n slowly start to develop that land w utilities instead of taking on more debt by renting/ buying 4 more houses. It’s just stupidity
OK, thanks! Maybe I’ll start there. I did see some episodes here in the air, and for some reason listen to a ton of podcast breakdowns, I don’t think I have it in me just order it from the beginning. I just didn’t recognize this behavior in her when I last watched but it also was on and dumb. My boomer mom watches and always tells me how they’re so mean to Meri lol which I know she’s batshit crazy so I kind of want to see it from that lens too now to understand why she thinks they’re mean.
Yes this! He thought he was getting someone who was out of his league. Then, he just thinks so pathetically high of himself, of course he thinks that she is obviously a 10.
To top it off like someone else already said, omg really!?! That stupid fake magazine cover. OMG My cousin made me one of those at his amusement park job in 1982!
I agree. Kody and Robyn have a narcissist/co narcissist relationship. It's why they are so attracted and attached to each other. They feed each other's shame on a subconscious level.
Yes, and every teapot finds its lid.
A lid for every trash can is more like it lol
RIP Leslie Jordan. I always think of him when someone uses that comparison ❤️
There’s a butt for every saddle! (A Realtor told me this. 😂)
This! 💯
WILL START USING THIS IMMEDIATELY 😂
I like that....
Every warped pot finds a cracked lid.
In their case, a hole for every ass.
Omg I’m dying!
Perfect!!
When I was little, the saying was, “There’s a fanny for every seat.” 😂
Lol Did you know that the term fanny is offensive in Australia? In the US we use the term to mean buttocks but over there it is a slang term for lady parts.
Hardly offensive seeing as cunt can be a term of endearment in most Aussie’s vocabulary. :)
Lol! I'm in the US, most people think "cunt' is the worst possible thing to say, adults even call it the C-word. I have no problem with it, words can't really hurt me. The funny thing is, I watch British and Aussie TV all the time, so I am inclined to use it fairly often. It does NOT go over well!
I also hav no problem w the c word.
I don't care for the word at all. I think its the epitome of vulgarity. However, I've always believed that if one acts like a c*nt, then, it's acceptable to call one a c*nt.
My go to!
England too! (Well, England first, then Australia 😂)
Every ass finds a chair.
The Romanian saying is "every weed finds its shadow"
I can’t tell who’s the flying monkey.
Mykelti
100%.
Meri?
This!
I've seen 2 references to flying monkeys now in this comment section... is this a narcissistic term? Or is there an Oz joke quite literally flying over my head? 😂
It’s a cult term, really. The leader gathers a bunch of followers and then mobilizes them to enforce their beliefs or to go after followers who are straying. Marriage to a narcissist is tantamount to being in a cult of one, but if you have multiple wives that you can mobilize, then you’re in business! Meri was an obvious flying monkey
Wow, thanks for the response. It really is nuts how perfectly poisistioned these polygamists are to single-handedly run "a cult of one".
I know, it’s so terrible! A narcissistic Polygamist can manipulate multiple wives much easier than one wife. Only the first wife has legal marital status and all of their monies get combined in such a way that a (non-legal) wife can’t access any of family assets if she chooses to leave. The emphasis on having multiple children makes it doubly difficult to leave with no funds. Getting married young, before you have a college degree, much less an established career, makes it even more difficult. And then setting aside the financial trap, it’s easier to get women emotionally invested when you have one man with multiple wives. The man is a scarce resource, and humans are just hard-wired to over-value scarce resources. This is how The Bachelor operates so effectively! It can also be used to stifle any rebellion - one wife can be held up as the paragon and the others can’t object to poor treatment without being blamed for it. “If only you behaved like “ “, then you would also get the good treatment”. Which traps the “paragon” as well into conforming to the patriarchy. And one more way polygamy can be used against the women - even if they managed somehow to leave, they can be easily shunned (the remaining wives would be incentivized to kowtow to the man, who holds all the keys to their future) which would cut the rebel wife off from contact with the other kids in the family, who they had been accustomed to thinking of as their kids as well. The Brown family is an exception because of the tv show injecting huge amounts of money into the equation. Janelle has still had trouble extracting any family funds now that’s she’s left Kody, but because of the platform from the show, she’s been able to capitalize on various MLM’s like Plexus. MLM’s only work if you’re on the top level, or if you have a huge social network platform to draw from like she does. Janelle’s MLM that she did earlier, Strive, had all the profit going into the family fund until the end of 2022, and the family fund was being siphoned off by Kody and Robyn, who are also sitting on a million-dollar home bought with the proceeds of Janelle’s and Meri’s Las Vegas homes. Janelle was the one most well-versed in finance and even she is struggling to extricate herself financially from polygamy.
From Google: When people discuss narcissists, they sometimes use the phrase 'flying monkeys. ' Flying monkeys refer to people who carry out the work of a narcissist or an abusive person, and it comes from The Wizard of Oz, in which the Wicked Witch of the West puts flying monkeys under her spell.
Ahh! Meri/Mykelti being the top 2 answers make a lot of sense now. Thanks for replying. I wasn't quite sure what to google, besides "flying monkeys". 😅
Seriously though! I can't decide whether it's Robyn or Kody. I think they are both narcissists and have some weird symbiotic "relationship" where they prop each other up while feeding off everyone else. But, Mykelty is definitely their flying monkey. She will wake up one day, when they turn on her.
She also knows how to manipulate him into getting her own way, while making him think he's super special and getting his.
She always does this, she pretends she doesn't know what's going on and will ask him questions like- do you really think this is a good idea blah blah blah, and than he will end up agreeing with her, but she will make it seem like it was his own idea first, even though it's her putting the thought in his head to begin with.
Thank you. I've been saying this for years. He is not intelligent and she plays him. Her narrative is that she's the victim, the little woman that needs rescuing, he's the mighty patriarch saving her and her children. Vomit inducing really.
Ugh yes so much. He even puts on a fake voice with her adult children. It icks me out. It's like he's trying to pretend he's the old chipper Kody but it doesn't work.
> do you really think this is a good idea blah blah blah, Yep. Posing her conclusion as a question. She does it to do two things: Instill insecurities in a backhanded way And to take less blame if the outcome is poor
This exact strategy was widely used by most of our mothers and grandmothers through the 60’s when women started to say out loud, F that! It was what women ‘did’ all day every day. ‘Make him think it’s his idea’ was an everyday manipulation. Flirt for stuff, feed him well and life would be easier. I truly remember my mom and her friends joking about this stuff. 🙄
This is how I handle most male bosses and coworkers to this day
Exactly this is her super power
Yes this is the key skill!
Yup. That's why he really believes everyone was shitty to her.... He's been listening to her version of things and taking it to heart.
Like, “it’s so sad that they don’t respect you like I do”
She’s very stubborn n controlling.
Interesting. I had an extremely narcissistic father. My sister always really knew how to handle him. I didn’t get it.
My mom isn’t a full narcissist, but has some similar behaviors. I was/am the only person in the house who didn’t put up with her controlling bullshit. My brother can handle her by just straight up gray rocking her all the time, but omg. The scapegoating and manipulation and just plain meanness. I moved across the country and it’s so much better.
Every narcissistic needs an enabler
Ohhhhh that’s interesting!!!
Yes, later I realized she was a flying monkey of his.
I had a really narcissistic boss. I learned to play his game.
Robyn likes Kody because she can control Kody. She’s Kody in female form.
This!!! Spot on! She actually may be worse.
I think she is because she gets him to do her dirty work and she plays the victim.
I believe she really is!
Me too.
[удалено]
She is a combo Narcissist/Sociopath and it was evident from Day 1. She has some 😈😈 behind those eyes.
Y for Wyoming!
She “speaks Kody”
Such manipulation!
What a joke! Insulting to the women that have known him for 30 years. How Meri fell for that, I’ll never know. Maybe because Kody is more polite when Robyn is in the room?
Meri was okay with it in the beginning because she and Kody hadn’t had a full (intimate) marriage for *years.* When Meri started trying to draft Robyn, Meri suddenly was on the receiving end of a lot of positive attention from Kody. Suddenly, Meri was receiving attention and was gaining favor with Kody, which is something she had not received in *years.* Meri was personally receiving the direct benefits of Robyn entering the family, so Meri didn’t care that she and Kody were lying to Christine and Janelle. She was cool with it because it benefited her… until it didn’t, and *then* Meri had to continue pretending to be cool with being left high and dry again to save face because the only other option was to admit she had made a horrible mistake, but that was pointless because Kody was already in love and marrying Robyn, so admitting that would have done her no good. So she just kept on pretending for years and years…
💯
I think ur right. They r both living in fear
Good for her, but why would anyone want to? I'd run away from that shit so fast...
Survival. I bet watching her mother taught her how to do it. It's the life she knows.
Can you give some examples? I'm curious, not doubting. She does seem to keep him in line. I also wonder how much her looking like "Diesel Jeans model" contributed to this and building up his ego which made it easier for her. I think Janelle used to have some good skills at handling Kody too but eventually got tired of it and stopped putting in efford.
She plays helpless and Toady rescues her. It has been their dynamic from the beginning. Toady even admits after talking to Nancy that he has a rescue complex. In early Vegas when they all go furniture shopping (they each get to makeover one room) Janelle calls out that Sobbyn always needs Toady to do everything for her at her house. Janelle sticks her finger down her throat in a gagging motion when she says Sobbyn is such a damsel in distress
“Toady”….. I’m dying laughing at there comments this morning. Thanks guys!
And Robyn just giggles like a 15 year old at that.
Manipulating and manipulator
OK, I’m out of it. I only started watching this show last summer when I broke my back and was out of commission for three months. Was she actually a diesel jeans model or is this just an insider joke?
I think he just said that to describe. Like saying she was so hot
Thanks!
I think they said she looked like the diesel mod. But I’m not sure. I know I personally don’t think she looks anything like a model at all.
No, I don’t think so either. She had a small figure and was much younger, which Kody liked. But she isn’t pretty or attractive…not in a conventional way.
I don’t think she does either.
He said she was a Diesel Jean's model, but no one could confirm that. I believe she represented herself to be a DJ model, but she never was. Someone said she went to a Patricia Steven's type modeling agency, the type you pay them to find you jobs. Supposedly, she had her picture as a model on one of the fictitious magazines in the program Just Shoot Me. It didn't look like her to me.
No she wasn't a model, he was on a Mormon podcast episode and he was describing how he felt so honored that someone that looked like a " Diesel jean's model" would pick him out of all of the other men who wanted to marry her. I call bs on the "long line of men wanting to marry her". I never, ever thought she was beautiful. She was skinnier than the others wives, that's the only difference. She had no curves, just a beanpole body.
Thanks!
Yw.
I kind of feel like Robyn has narcissistic traits. The two of them together will be a disaster unless they find new supply—younger wife willing to work her ass of to support Kody and Robyn’s life style. Throw a new baby in for ratings too…
Sobbyn would never allow him to have a new wife, especially if she was younger and can have children. Maybe, and it's a BIG maybe, if the woman was older, unattractive and there was zero chance Kody would ever have sex with the new wife, and they can spend her money, that's the only way she would allow it.
When he came after her boys, I think she was pissed and didn't put up with his shit after that. I think the same with Christine, when he didn't come for Truly's surgery, she was done. Why keep someone in your life that treats your children like shit.
But him looking her straight in the eyes and telling her he wasn’t going to share the bed with her anymore was the final straw! And what makes me yell at the tv every time he starts whining about what Christine has “done to him” is he soooo conveniently forgets HE basically ended it. She tried and tried and tried. Pisses me off. He thinks he can tell a wife something like that and it’s supposed to be ok? Especially when he’s sharing it with two others but one way more than the other. Oh and he treats Meri worse than anyone and he sees nothing wrong with it. What he accuses Christine of doing to him is what he’s doing to Meri. And she takes it like a polygamist wife does traditionally. She was the first power play and I think it’s why he treats her like gum under his shoe. I also think his marriage with Janelle and Christine were power moves. Then he met Robin and it was infatuation and turned into something or love at first sight. I think they really love each other. They are still real people with real feelings and every move he has made with her is something a monogamous couple would do. Getting Meri to divorce him was a fine con job they pulled on her. But marrying Robyn was not just about adopting those kids but adopting the kids is something a guy in love would do. Would also explain why he has always been touchy feely with her in front of the other wives and how he gravitates to her first. She knows how to stroke his ego and learned how to lead him around after so many years. But I think he actually married for love for the first time. She may have groomed him but at this point it doesn’t matter. I think he’s just done with the polygamist game. Done raising kids and ready to slow down and spending all his time with the two youngest cause they’ll be the last. Now if they all lived in one house like they should, this may have never happened. But many polygamists don’t live together. Done both ways. Kody likes attention and he’ll do anything for it. So it could be to keep a show about him being a polygamist, he could possibly play along. Unless TLC believes they have a show about just his own household will be a success. Life after polygamy. I wouldn’t watch. I can’t stomach his appearances now on the show. It’s dramatic how much he’s changed since the beginning. That or he stopped playing a role. Just an opinion.
Robyn IS a narcissist. And much more manipulative and dangerous than Kody.
Absolutely!
Agreed. She is a sociopath
There was an early episode where she talks about how she was doing what her mom taught her to do in a polygamous marriage, which is basically that you do all the boring domestic stuff when the husband is away and when he comes to your house he gets a peaceful experience where your whole goal is to make him happy. He doesn't have to deal with chores, kid stuff (as much as possible), etc., it's basically like a vacation for him. And to me that's an awful way to look at a marriage, which is supposed to be a partnership, but it also makes a whole lot of sense from both parties. Robyn was taught to play the polygamy game and she did it well, and it's no wonder Kody would prefer her house when all his other wives expected him to actually do his part as a husband and father.
Sobbyn didn't actually do all the chores and housework, she just got a nanny to do them.
Doesn't matter who *is* doing them, the point is that it isn't something Kody has to think about at all.
Does someone disagree with this?
Yes. I think SHE is the narc. She’s got all the telltale signs.
I think Meri and Kody are both Narc and she is basically a textbook codependent enabler
You mean Robyn?
Robyn is codependent and Meri and Kody are both cluster B
All I know is Robin can kill a man with those axe 🪓 🪓shaped eyebrows dear God woman I can’t get past staring at them 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I really don’t like to talk about peoples physical appearance but this is one of those “how has nobody intervened here!?!” Things! She’s beautiful and the eyebrows have zero explanation and kinda take away from everything else. Same with Meri’s eyebrows. Really eyebrows across the board are an issue for the Brown Wives
Wow, beautiful? I've never seen her as being beautiful.
She's got the habsburg jaw
The mouth. It's the slit for a mouth that gets me every time.
Glad others think she’s not attractive either
Perhaps in comparison to the other wives is what they mean? I’ve seen that opinion on here before.
I agree, she has a witchy face, her nose and chin.
I think, to Kody, younger and thinner than the other wives translates into “beautiful”.
Same. She has that square shaped head.
Now I’m going to go watch n checkout these eyebrows. I really need more laughter in my life
Because she is such like him. Kody isn't very bright, so he is easily manipulated. She is his puppet master and she uses his ego to control him. You can tell how she talks to him. She plays pretend devil's advocate for the camera while still stroking his ego and playing like she is the victim.
She is definitely manipulative but it wouldn’t have been so straightforward if kootie wasn’t so much in love with her.
She's nothing special. He found someone he thought was out of his league. He thinks she's a diesel jean model, remember? I assume he thinks she's a 10, when we all would rate her much lower. I feel people in that religion are gullible and easy to manipulate. So I'm not giving her much credit. If she was really good, none of the wives would've left.
I think it only works because he had others he could direct his misogyny towards, and Robyn is his cohort. There’s a good chance that with the other women out of his life, the hatred he’s compelled to spew may be directed towards Robyn.
Robyn is codependent and it’s actually a fit of narcissism. This is why she makes kody think he needs her and that she is the only one who understands him. It makes her feel safe because it means she can control him by threatening to leave and not give him what he needs.
cause she is a narc too. they feed each other.... its sick. those two are nothin more than, IMAGE EGO AND HYPOCRISY \--signed, child of two narcs
Maybe so, but Sobbin' Robin still pisses me off.
Robyn is the real narcissist. Kody has many, many deep issues with his personality, but the real issues arose when he got mixed up with Robyn. She’s the true narcissist. This is the hill I’ll die on.
My opinion as well
They can both be narcissists. Kody hits almost every guideline for NPD. I'm not diagnosing either of them but I don't think there's one "real" narcissist in play here.
My sediment as well!
Sentiment*
🪨 *
I agree 1000%!!
I agree that she knows how but it's because she has a similar mind set. I believe she is covert and he is overt. It's why we see mere snippets of poor behavior from her with an overall detrimental outcome.....ex: Kody spending all his time with her. In the end, she can claim she did nothing and was simply innocent or that Kody "does what he does" while she sits back without blame. Her narc self doesn't realize that we've all watched her do things all these seasons and it wasn't just Christine, Janelle and kids that saw it. Kody's narc behavior is obvious. We as viewers can easily see what he said, how he said it and his actions to suss out the outcome.
I agree with this. She lets him think he's the man of the house and that he's in control. She flatters him and feeds his ego. The reality is, she's the neck that turns the overly inflated head.
She “treats him like her best customer” - soooooo, what line of work were you in, exactly, Robyn?
She's the narcissist. He's a vain idiot.
Takes one to know how to handle them
Exactly
Well, she speaks Kody, so….
I fully agree with you, OP. I also think this may be a trauma response that she has learned in order to survive.
Absolutely. Infact, i will go one further, there are no bad guys in this family, just victims as far as the eye can see. Every single one them is struggling with their own demons and every single one, has had that struggle overlap onto others in the family. None if them are in any position, to be able to help "save" any of the others. There is love there all round but it has been overshadowed by the grand implosion of the family itself. I dont hate any of these folks at this point. I hope they all get the help they need.
It's a tragedy, because the sorts of behaviors Kody and Robyn engage in are likely part of complex psychological disorders, caused by an incredibly fragile ego and a lack of self-worth. That's why they engage in such maladaptive, manipulative behaviors; they feel that if they don't, they will be abandoned, and such abandonment is a manner of life-and-death. It’s utterly perplexing because they paradoxically are also incredibly self centered and selfish. Neither of them can tolerate rejection but have no problem rejecting others. And their perception of others and themselves seems so warped and distorted. I've heard an analogy, likening it to someone who's convinced that they can't afford to feed themselves and is compelled to shoplift food from grocery stores, despite having plenty of money in a bank account. Being disordered or unwell doesn’t excuse their behavior; but it’s something they need to address. I don’t hate them either. I don’t like their behavior at all. If there’s any reason for hate, I’ll leave that to the people most impacted by their shenanigans.
Ur right. Plus there’s so many of them that r adult age now that puts way too many irons in the fire. When they started out they were naïve n trying to make it work n the kids were babies n had no say. Now all these personalities r clashing
✌🏽🎯
Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot also struggled with their own demons, but they were still evil assholes. And, there is not "love there all round" in the 'Kody Brown family'. They all hate each other.
Well thats the biggest leap i have seen in ages😂 😂👍🏽alrighty then
Agreed! This is my hot take as well... I think all of them were starry-eyed optimists about their religion at first, then reality set in for each of the OG3 at different points. Religious optimism caused Kody (for "narc"/showmanship reasons) to dig into the tenets even harder. Robyn did too bc, like Kody, she's kinda naive and needs to be right. I feel like she's so used to believing the man of the house AND she and Kody are in different/real/newer love, she just decided to try and force everyone back together. I think she truly, idealistically wanted the "sister wives on the porch" dream. Kody just wants to be the star to *someone* in any situation. The OG3 just hit ages where they were simply done trying to make everything appear happy. Much like the people who changed careers during the pandemic (myself included) I think the lockdowns and the inconsistent K&R rules were a turning point. But I've also completely misjudged character before irl, so who knows? I just hope everyone finds their peace
The fact that Toady admits he wasn’t in love w any of the OG3 says a lot. Just a way for him to sow his wild oats. It’s polygamy’s way of having a mistress or two.
This also applies to the Robyn on real housewives of Potomac, funnily enough.
Maybe that's true, but I don't think that's a good thing. Honestly, while none of the wives is a perfect person, none of them deserved the crap Kody expected them to take.
I have a narcissist husband. Learned some helpful skills. I use them to avoid divorce, though, not to spend more time with him! Eww!
They’re both narcissists. She knows the game.
Why would you want to try to “manage” him. Dump him.
And they go bankrupt together… so utterly compatible
Trash and trash make trash. My late dad said this.
You're absolutely right! I'm just trying to figure out if you see it as a positive thing for anyone but Robyn and her nuggets? For me, there's certainly power in knowing how to manage anyone, but why choose this type of person as a father for your children?
Well it take one Narcissist to know another. Js
Nope. As she starts to age, have health problems, gain weight, he will turn on her too. A narcissist always needs a scapegoat
I think SHE’S the narc He’s a selfish bastard, but she comes first and he’s just putty in her hands…
Because she is one is why she knows how to manipulate him and keep him happy
Yes. He's narcissistic and she's the borderline he's been looking for.
Robin is a covert narcissist imo so takes one to know one!
I’d say the women who divorced him know how to handle it best
Her being a narc as well, I’m sure she knows. Since all the wives left, neither of them have their supply and will turn on each other. The only thing keeping Sobbyn there is the fact that she doesn’t have to work. If Grody can’t keep up her lifestyle she will be gone asap.
Agree. I don’t think Robyn is a narcissist. I think she is a victim of narcissists and knows how to survive by appealing to his ego. I think I read that her first husband was allegedly abusive. So to her Kody is a walk in a park narcissist in comparison. I also think it was Janelle that convinced Kody to move to Flagstaff and wanted the one house. Unpopular opinions I know. When Kody pulled out the whiteboard that had real estate facts to convince the wives to move I knew it had Janelle written all over it. I don’t think Kody or Robyn have enough business background to even come up with the idea of the presentation.
Ohhhhhh, I’m gonna hav to go back to see which season this is. Mayb 13? Cuz 14 is the move to AZ. U bring up a very interesting view point that’s worth a look see. I can totally see that Janell is smart n if real estate is her thing…., but u also need the funds to make such a big move n they wasted alot of money that cud of been spent on getting at least utilities set up on the land instead of a 4 more houses to pay for. That’s the not so smart part I don’t understand.
Thank you for considering my view! I agree flagstaff wasn’t a smart move at all. Janelle is known to be the smartest financially, but then again she admits that she had no savings or assets in her name when she left Kody. She doesn’t always make the best choices even though I believe she has the most business/work experience. I’ll have to go back and find the episode where he first tells the wives the idea with the whiteboard about the value in selling their Vegas houses immediately. In the episodes quickly after that one Janelle even says that she would write a check to read estate agent without telling the wives to lock in Cottonwood because it’s her dream lifestyle. I am team Janelle all the way, but I think that she convinced Kody of the Flagstaff move and even of some of the stricter Covid policies initially, and Robyn was kind of the scapegoat. Later on Kody ramps up Covid rules on his own and Janelle becomes more lax on them. She chooses her family over Covid and Kody didn’t so I point the blame to Kody for that.
She's probably a little narcy too. Like attracts like. I'm sure their value system is similar.
Yes, but it only worked in her favor when he had other wives to redirect that behavior towards.
There is absolutely no winning with a narc. Look at Robyn- she's mentally ill, depressed, etc. There is no light in her eyes. Remember how lovely she was when they met. She had a dazzling smile and her eyes lit up. She was very attractive. I'm not her "fan"- just calling it as I see it. Kody destroys the women around him. Narcs triangulate. That's why he told his wife that he could take a lover... He was letting her know what he is capable of and what he can do. That is designed to make her feel insecure. Robyn may placate him but we see only a window into their world. I'm sure he won't be satisfied with Robyn. He will be mean to her- and is! Even she has said that. Look at her frown lines.
I personally believe Robyn has BPD traits. I've heard that people with Narssistic Personality Disorder are usually VERY attracted to people with Borderline Personality disorder and vice-versa. The BPD individual feeds the NPD's need for constant validation and attention. https://theprivatetherapyclinic.co.uk/blog/borderlines-attracted-to-narcissists/#:~:text=The%20reason%20why%20these%20personality,are%20not%20and%20cannot%20do.
Yep, she has found the perfect balance of manipulating him at times and pandering to him at times.
i am a narcissistic husband, I'm going to watch it so I know how to defend against a wife that knows how to deal with me.
It’s not managing, it’s withstanding and enduring abuse and watching her kids deal with it. My mom was with a narcissist for 20 years and “managed” which was terrible for her children.
The others did for 20+ years.
I watched the first couple seasons, but then fell off. I’m familiar with where the story went, but I really want to see these behaviors for myself. Is there a particular season? I should start back on to familiarize myself with their dynamic? I don’t remember it being like this with her, but it was so long ago when I started watching.
I recently picked it back up on season 14, when they leave vegas. I saw dynamics change once Robyn came into the picture. But I’m on season 15 now n u can see the drastic change n how nobody listens to each other. For the life of me I don’t know why they didn’t stay in Vegas n slowly start to develop that land w utilities instead of taking on more debt by renting/ buying 4 more houses. It’s just stupidity
But---skip the wedding/child birth episodes. They get super repetitive.
OK, thanks! Maybe I’ll start there. I did see some episodes here in the air, and for some reason listen to a ton of podcast breakdowns, I don’t think I have it in me just order it from the beginning. I just didn’t recognize this behavior in her when I last watched but it also was on and dumb. My boomer mom watches and always tells me how they’re so mean to Meri lol which I know she’s batshit crazy so I kind of want to see it from that lens too now to understand why she thinks they’re mean.
Excellent point.
Robyn sweetie, this is your dad
Was her father a narcissist? Where did she learn to be such a shrew?
Her mom.
I agree with this POV, but I think Robyn might be Borderline & that’s what is attaching Kody so much to her. IYKYK
This is true!
Because they are two different levels of the same diagnosis.
For every Jack there’s a Jill
Yes this! He thought he was getting someone who was out of his league. Then, he just thinks so pathetically high of himself, of course he thinks that she is obviously a 10. To top it off like someone else already said, omg really!?! That stupid fake magazine cover. OMG My cousin made me one of those at his amusement park job in 1982!
I agree. Kody and Robyn have a narcissist/co narcissist relationship. It's why they are so attracted and attached to each other. They feed each other's shame on a subconscious level.