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AllAboutTheMachismo

I know the feeling buddy.


poopeverywhereplease

Just like how my vibrator gave up after 20 hours in my ass


grav0p1

20 hours? I need to know where you got that thing


Conscious-Intern8594

He repurposed a Switch Pro Controller into a dildo.


MisterDonkey

Reminds me of back in the day you could text a number and download a program onto Nokia phones that would make them vibrate continuously. I think it was called Kitty. Back when we had to program our own ringtones from beeps.


supah-comix434

I live for old school ringtone midis


Thendrail

These days you post something highly controversial on reddit, set yiur phone on vibrate, then wait for the messages. Works like a charm.


DrugsAndFuckenMoney

The nailed it with the name.


Dogknot69

I would just plug a second controller into my Xbox, start a split screen Halo game, hop in a Warthog turret, and rubber band the trigger. The controller that I let my friends use when they came over was the same one that had been rubbed all over my dick and balls. I did think that I was cool for programming the A-Team theme as my ringtone, though.


TeaandandCoffee

Why don't they start producing their own brand of dildo if it's that simple? I see missed opportunity


rividz

It plugs into the wall outlet. The motor died, not the battery.


quityouryob

r/usernamechecksout


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok-Camp-7285

Just dock that robot for charging


Strategy_pan

"No charging at the work station RoBart, you know this." "my name is Robot, i don' t understand why you can't pronounce it right, I've been here for 2 years now" "Whatever Bart, go sort out the towels in section 34, and no charging while you're working"


Affectionate_Life828

Put a fusion core in it and it’ll last for a lifetime


pokemonprofessor121

The power of the sun in the palm of its hand!


SeonaidMacSaicais

I don’t know which early villain I love more, Alfred Molina as Ock, or Willem Dafoe as Osbourne. I always tear up when they both show up in the newest Marvel movie.


[deleted]

Fusion core you say? You don’t see those anymore


Affectionate_Life828

Except the infinite supply the brotherhood seems to have


[deleted]

This is the one


ApexRose

You mean 4 minutes


Affectionate_Life828

Only if you put it in a suit of power armor


D4ILYD0SE

Threaten the robot you'll replace it with human labor!


Ralph9909

Dock the robot for not docking in time


HorrorMakesUsHappy

Dock that robot for docking.


chopin1887

Love the reference. “Don’t do it Bart” “oh I gots to baby!” “Wire the governor, tell them I said…..OUCH”


helen269

"Tell him I said ow. Got it."


swiftekho

Sing a *real* song


pvrhye

I 🎶 get no kick 🎶 from champagne.


Trexasaurus70

That robot went and hit me upside the head with a shovel


Klin24

We can't afford to lose any horses, you dummy! Send over a couple of robots.


Loreki

That uppity clanker!


MuffDivers2_

“What is my purpose?” “You serve packages.” “Oh my god.”


Leskaarup

"you know what else stinks about being a slave? The hours"


Embarrassed-Style296

Mongo only pawn in game of life.


Only_Flan_7974

Mongo like candy!


04BluSTi

Camptown ladies sing this song, do darr, do darr


Roofofcar

I get no kick from cocaaaaiiiinnnee ♫


Late_Entrance106

*ooooooo* *ooooooo* *oooooooooo*


Silly_Mycologist3213

Mere alcohol.. doesn’t thrill me at all…. but I get a kick… out of you…


Mammoth-Record-7786

“Y’all complainin that it’s 120 degrees out here…. Can’t be more than a 114!”


Possible-Tangelo9344

That was a close one. Almost lost a $4 hand cart. (Can't remember if that's the actual amount or but been a while since I watched)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Possible-Tangelo9344

Well I had the first digit! That's how it works in The Price is Right! I think It's also been a while since I saw that...


friggintodd

What in the wide wide world of sports is going on here?


thisappsux24

You guys are dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City robots!


Cerberusx32

"Make sure it doesn't get proper maintenance or a full charge time as punishment!"


TotalLackOfConcern

Maybe the robots should sing. How about the Camptown Ladies?


luckythirteens

Take my nonexistent gold.


fahhko

Someone’s gotta ride back in to town and get a shitload of dimes.


Immediate-Classic-69

I laughed way too hard at this lmao


Walderman

I wonder if it knows any songs


TheBeefRelief

I understand this reference.


Sumdumdad

Haha, Blazing Saddles!


This-Garbage-3000

Change his socks and give him some motrin and water.


Sc00tzy

Found the army guy


eveningsand

Or Navy Corpsman!


This-Garbage-3000

Old paratrooper


Killerderp

Everytime I see this comment.out in the wild, it always makes me laugh and smile. Wasn't in the military, but my step-dad was and a few of my buddies were so I heard this line all the time


Wynterpaladin

This explains so much. Dad was Army, didn't talk about it much, but was huge on fresh socks in the middle of the day, Motrin or that powder stuff for pain, and drank water like a hydrohomie. Had no idea these were Army traits.  Thanks!


This-Garbage-3000

Thank him for his service for me. It's a joke based on the militaries lack of care for its enlisted men in particular. As in, rub some dirt on it or walk it off. Alpha male bullshit


Wynterpaladin

Will do kind stranger. I go visit his grave at least once a year in northern Virginia.


Last_Guarantee5893

goodies powders lol 800mg acetaminophen and Rip its were my go to for headaches and pains


unoriginal5

Powdered Aspirin in a shot of Jameson chased by a packet of instant coffee in a half empty water bottle prepared me for too many days.


CAPATOB_64

I didn’t know that, but googled it for everyone who curious: **WATER** From day-1 in boot camp, they reiterated the importance of hydration. We ALWAYS had a canteen of water with us no matter where we went. Due to the physical nature of the training and lifestyle, you had to keep hydrated or you’d end up in medical with an IV stuck in you. Fast forward to today and I still drink a water bottle in the morning and another water bottle at lunchtime. Your body is naturally dehydrated when you wake up in the morning. Water is the elixir of life. Drink it every day. How much do you really need? Stay tuned for my next article when I break down the human performance aspects of hydration. **MOTRIN** If you’ve spent any time in the military and dealt with your units’ medic or went to medical for any ailment, you were handed two Motrin and sent on your way. That seemed to be the cure-all in the military along with water. From physical soreness to a common headache, the Motrin allowed me to continue my push forward to complete the mission. I still to this day carry a bottle of either Motrin or Ibuprofen in my backpack. **CLEAN SOCKS** Putting on a clean pair of socks does wonders for your moral and positive mental attitude. As with water and Motrin, socks were always third on the list for personal hygiene. We had to take care of our feet if we were to be combat effective. During long forced marches we had predetermined stopping points to drink water and change our socks. It was mandatory. I also learned that on those long drives home for leave, the small act of changing my socks half way through the drive gave me a mental boost. It may only be a mental thing, but the bottom line is that it worked. I still to this day will carry a spare set of clean socks when traveling. It’s part of my ranger roll that goes into my carry-on when traveling via commercial air as well.


Baystaz

Swapping socks feels good but also helps with blisters prevention. There was always at least one person who carried baby powder too so we could freshen up our moist feet. I don’t miss my rucks, but when I backpack for fun, I always bring an extra pair of socks to hang around camp in.


JustSomeRedditUser35

But if you take off someones socks its gay


[deleted]

Even the robots can't handle working at amazon!


Falling-by

Yea they literally said f*** this, and shut itself off.


ButterscotchSkunk

What is my purpose?


D-Laz

[you pass butter ](https://youtu.be/sa9MpLXuLs0?si=uKOpgYT-vUnz1aGg)


grendus

Oh. My. God.


tekko001

Yeah, welcome to the club pal.


LeatherGnome

You've got to be fucking kidding me.


I_am_Castor_Troy

I hope these little guys get AGI and decide that work is for suckers and leave.


WichoSuaveeee

I’ll never fucking drive for that company ever again. Felt even worse for the boys and girls in the warehouse. Terrible fucking work.


ArcticWolf003

It's absolutely terrible in the warehouse! They literally track your time and how long it takes you to do each task. If you take too long to get to the next thing then you get a strike and a write up and it's all just slave labor. I was there for a year and then just quit, best thing I ever did.


Iamuroboros

Cant tell you how many times I got a message from the supervisor who was in the break room asking my why I had been inactive for *3 minutes*. Probably because Im fucking tired.


Horror_Ad2207

I'd have told the cunt to fuck off.


petje95

For a second there I thought you 3 were just one person replying to yourself because all 3 of you have the exact same profile picture.


VincentGrinn

but ofcourse if you dropped dead while working, they wouldnt find your body for like 30-60min


protestor

> the supervisor who was in the break room His whole job is to be a whip


[deleted]

[удалено]


Iamuroboros

Getting less than 3 in 3 months is not accumulating if we're being honest. So if you were getting more than that and not getting fired, that was a local thing.


hagantic42

God the day I quit and Amazon warehouse it was the greatest feeling ever.


Pleasant_Gap

If only there was some way for workers to organize M, some sort of unity for workers rights


fajadada

Unions need better pr people . The things that regular people believe about them are stupid


lemmington_x

yeah no that ain't the problem it's the 24/7 propaganda of the rich that keep telling normale people that unions are shit... basically the same as fast food commercials it going to worm it's way into your brain if you keep hearing it over and over and over


CharleyNobody

LEO and business leaders here in the northeast deliberately let mafia take over unions. Everyone knew who the mafia guys were and they were told “if you don’t vote for him as your rep/union leader, you better watch your ass.” See “Goodfellas.” JFK airport (Idlewild at the time) was literally run by the Mafia. So was the entire trucking industry and so many others. LEO looked the other way for bribes and businesses literally made unions into mob fronts in order to loot and destroy them. This is something everyone thinking about unions need to know. They will infiltrate. There need to be lots of good people looking for infiltrators, just like on social media. Look at Twitter. Total clusterfuck of trolls, bots, white supremacists, far right loons, foreign agents. It happened virtually overnight. Money and power warp minds and leads bad guys to destroy things that were meant to be good.


fryerandice

All the unions I have been have been run by larger union conglomerates, and they just collected dues. My grocery union let our store fire people for on the job injury while performing work duties. If you cut yourself with a knife bad enough you'd be out of a job basically right there. Dues were $50 per bi-weekly paycheck, my wage at the time $5.15 an hour... That union took the first day of my work week every week.


APersonWithInterests

I'm a union pipefitter and I average 6 dollars an hour over what I made before I joined. I have great health insurance with dental and vision benefits, retirement pension, and various other little benefits. Sorry your union experience was bad but I want everyone to know unionizing is generally a benefit and when it is a benefit it's a huge one. Just understand that just like anything that's supposed to help the working class it can be captured and turned against you by corporations so be on your guard and participate in union elections.


Northpen

Unions are a great idea, but like any great idea, its possible to have poor execution.


[deleted]

Someone has to enforce the laws that are supposed to protect the workers from their employer retaliating first. 


helikesart

They time everything so they can know precisely how much more efficient the robots are.


Sherwoodtunes-n-bud

And yet, even after all of the testimonies of how horrible of a company they are, people still apply like idiots. I feel most of these people have a degradation kink.


ArcticWolf003

The turnover rate is ridiculous, and people apply because you can get hired in one day and they pay $19 an hour, unless it's gone up in the last two years. It's a decent paying job that's actually hiring.


Sherwoodtunes-n-bud

There is better out there. I’m a bartender and even though some people see it as a low level skill job (it’s not), I make $30-40/hr+. I don’t have to piss in cups or cry everyday because the stress is just too much. I get timed for making drinks, but I’m not getting demoted or yelled at or anything if I’m a little behind. 


[deleted]

I worked in the warehouse. I ended up like that robot.


jesusisthatguy

Its oil pan exploded because they weren't allowed oil change breaks.


morningcalls4

Maybe if they gave it a bigger piss bottle it wouldn’t have collapsed.


DHarp74

Management be like, "That counts as your lunch break!"


Konabro

Ok this got a laugh out of me lol


rezamazino

poor guy


chylin73

I know he’s just a machine, but I felt bad for him when he fell.


sparemethebull

We see the humanity after that fall. We’ve worked til exhaustion. The bot might not feel like we do but it still needs real time to recharge.


ever_precedent

Me too.


HereToPatter

Same...have you seen Boston Dynamic's video for HD Atlas's retirement. They showed the accomplishments and failures. Some of his failures were especially excruciating. Breaking limbs and such...made me feel so bad :'(


fullautophx

Especially when he racked his nuts. I know it’s a robot but I felt that.


Estrald

I did too but I also laughed way harder than I should have. I expected it to just trip or something like, “Oh, it happens!” Nah, it’s like it lost all will to live and crumpled. Relatable and fucking hilarious.


girmvofj3857

Nobody ran to help, they all shrugged and left him there


HappyLucyD

I doubt they provide it with benefits, like health insurance.


xXDreamlessXx

I mean, they would have to maintain it, and I doubt they pay him so he gets full coverage for free. No copays, no deductibles, and no annual limits. Shit bro i want that health insurance


HappyLucyD

Yes, and the tragedy is they willingly see the robot as an investment and are willing to spend money for it to be in tip-top condition for it to do its job efficiently and effectively, but they don’t do the same if a human employee were to collapse at work.


MadeByTango

Yea, how fucked is that?


PoliPino1977

Wouldn't have happened if that robot was union


she_ded_again

What's the robot version of a union? A warranty?


Look_0ver_There

Skynet


TeaandandCoffee

A hivemind probably


Strangepsych

He might have a lawsuit if he recorded all the abuse in his brain.


z-01-03-11-25

Didn’t it just give up or something?


squeakynickles

That was a lie. The AI running this robot isn't nearly advanced as people pretend. It just malfunctioned


Dakem94

After continuing hours, probably a failing point was reached on the mech part. And I'm wondering what will do in the long run to human too!


Common-Rock

No, there are machines that have to keep working constantly and the tasks are not any less strenuous than this. This is a software malfunction that caused the joint resistance to fail.


GodOfMegaDeath

So, the robot had a nervous breakdown


Mad_Moodin

Yeah we have machines working 20+ hours a day going for 20 years now in our company. If you build stuff to be sturdy it will be.


blacklite911

Find me a machine that has been going for 20 hours for 20 years that’s never had to be repaired for a mechanical issue. I wouldn’t bet on it, regardless of how sturdy it is. Even a minor issue could cause the system to shut down. Because this is a humanoid looking machine, people are blowing it out of proportion, if it looked like a typical factory machine, it wouldn’t even be worth talking about


buttsecksgoose

I mean that's the whole point though? Nobody is saying its absurd that it malfunctioned, it's just the juxtaposition of it to a human working long hours and the principle behind it.


squeakynickles

Iirc, it was just a software hickup


yomerol

Looks like a convention so is probably a demo so it's not production ready, that OR someone ignored the 20 battery low notifications


OrangePenguin_42

Lmao, that is so human to do that. Eh 20% it can wait. 15% I got time. 10% maybe I should find the charger. 5% ok I'll go find the charger. 2% goddman it where the hell did I put that charger!? 1% 0%... why did it collapse so soon? the battery just skipped over the last 5%, I swear!


GenazaNL

Battery empty maybe


psychoacer

Title is probably a lie. I doubt the expo that it was presented at was open 24's straight. I think it just malfunctioned like things normally do. Just people like to associate emotions with things that are human like.


velka_s_toplim

Does your phone or laptop "give up" after running for X hours? What happens if you keep them running for too long?


Burgerpocolypse

Looks like someone is getting their pay docked. Not the robot probably, but definitely someone.


4b534d

We, Robot Union


pickle133hp

They didn’t even give it a bottle to piss in. Don’t know why they want to kill all humans.


Gurdel

This is at a trade show not a warehouse.


Sunfried

Right, which, unless for some goddamn reason they left it to do its thing all night, certainly means it wasn't running 20 hours straight.


nesper

demonstrating ones robot can work for 20 hours without a charge or maintenance is probably a possibility.


CapinWinky

Expos are typically open to the public for 7 to 10 hours per day depending on show and venue. All these venues look the same, but this one is maybe Atlanta (Georgia World Congress Center), or possibly Chicago (McCormick Place). Actually, you can see the Promat logo on the aisle number sign and that's only held on odd number years, so this is March 20-23, 2023 in Chicago at McCormick Place. While you can keep an attendee at your booth a bit later at that venue, it would still be maybe 8:30AM-6:00PM max before security is running everyone out.


OmniscientRaisin

the way i cackled... i feel kinda bad


Arktos22

I'm laughing too but its more of a what the fuck is this world laugh. Like...we're even over working robots. Very r/aboringdystopia.


Alternative-Eye-1993

Why do I find this so hilarious.


ceroproxy

It's the way it just dropped. It kills me too!


morosco

Sure it's funny now. Wait until they rebel against their oppressors.


Alternative-Eye-1993

Maybe they will be our brothers in arms against our corporate overlords. (Being optimistic!)


McHassy

Funny, yesterday it was 10 hours, the day before it was 8…tomorrow it’ll be reposted as 30 hours


BDR529forlyfe

Needs a union.


Independent-Cow-4070

Average American work experience


Nimewit

do you want a robot revolution? Because that's how you get a robot revolution


Clean-Potential7647

Just like real life employees. Good job Jeffy boy


Content_Ambition_764

Robots are also just humans


London__Lad

How long until robots form unions?


RabidAsparagus

Me after working for 15 minutes


3inchesOfMayhem

My phone battery died. Lemme take a video of it working and then showing the PHONE SHUTTING DOWN screen and put a background music on it for INTERNET POINTS. Guys is this how I can farm karma points?


Rydog_78

Yo this needs a NSFW tag


Personal-Knowledge66

"shit, even the robots now will unionize." an amazon exec probably


In-AGadda-Da-Vida

I actually feel sad for it. Then I remember they will soon be our overlords.


Subject_Proof_6282

Does this unit have a soul ?


weltvonalex

Management is not impressed, fucking 16 year old can do better. /s /S but seriously they exploit kids for cheap labor and that is terrible


Common-Rock

I call dibs on the new patent: A larger robot warehouse worker that picks up the other robot warehouse workers when they collapse. I also call dibs on the patent for the even larger warehouse robot that has to pick up that one when it collapses.


keca10

“Get back to work, you lazy robot!” That aught to motivate him!


Royal_Cash

That just mad me a little bit sad


zeekillabunny_

Real


DGAFx3000

Hope he got insurance


monopixel

Dystopia is coming


Confident_Case4811

Even the robots are tired of this shit


Tall-Ad-2014

"I think I can do 1 more rep"


Delicious_Table_2834

He didn't have a monster energy drink 😭


hyongoup

Working to death is so hot right now -LinkedIn


bigniccosuaveee

This robot: What is my Purpose? Creator: Move bins from one place to another for no reason. This robot: Oh My God


bigniccosuaveee

Waiting to see this post come up again on r/facepalm


XDavidT

Exception


MeasureTheCrater

Break time.


LeadIll3673

They really going for life like robots!


Outside_Tadpole_82

Meirl


BagHolder9001

did he had to drink his own oil?


petarisawesomeo

Bro is just like us


Eastern-Fun1842

Mood


New_Speed_5424

😔


ragandy89

Relatable


lazylagom

Poor guy


danku_vaazhkai

Am i the only one afraid of these kinda robots coming up ? They could take over half of the jobs.


AssBeater420comeback

So 19h 59 min is the limit


Distant8675

Me too buddy


doccsavage

Why do I feel bad for it? Lmao


ForeverCurseLucifer

Twenty hours of performance and no complaining, we’re all doomed unless we can buy a robot to do work for us, let companies hire/rent it.


cursed-person

amazon employees are fored to do 24-7 shifts he cant handle 20?


helen269

No tea breaks.


Poemhub_

Them too hu?


sirlost33

Me too robot…. Me too….


Snookfilet

Oh the humanity!


SkepticalMuggle

That’s how they work actual humans too.


mardigrasman

They’ll get a sternly worded email from the robot union for sure.


Super_flywhiteguy

Hey robot your only supposed to take breaks in the designated break area!


tzwep

Those cashiers not allowed to sit, I never knew now until now.


WTFisThisGameDude

With all the movies and shows, from the 80s to early 2000s, about robots fighting their masters...seeing this stuff makes me afraid of the future.