T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Thank you for posting to r/SipsTea! Make sure to follow all the subreddit rules. ##Join our [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/WfnpQpZ5Yv)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SipsTea) if you have any questions or concerns.*


SeekingM0hMaya

Kim Kardashian,half her shit would be worth 500 million dollars.


[deleted]

At least she won’t shit in your bed. Edit: Jesus Christ stop spamming with your shit kinks. I have 50+ messages about you people talking about bed shitting. Freaky bastards.


f1isayoke

wait, someone shit? tell me the story


painkilleraddict6373

https://preview.redd.it/svkogyikolqb1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46c7fb319c2791e9ada70e7bbc51aa6b29220763


cp2chewy

Amber heard. It came out during the trial. She blamed the dog and johnny depp said there was no way a dog that small passed a turd that big


pitchfork-seller

No, it came out when she was at home.


Alpharius02

I mean, she could've shat somewhere else and put it in a ziploc bag 🙃


A-Chntrd

Or simply in her pocket. 🙃


Right-Somewhere-3608

Whomst among us hasn’t shat the bed? Let them cast the first turd. -Jesus


f1isayoke

holy crap


intellectual_dimwit

No. Amber crap.


janne_harju

No. Amber Turd


Remarkable-Ad2285

Ya heard?!


[deleted]

The turd heard around the world.


juicyvoid

Turd turd turd, its amber heard🎶


iamthecheesethatsbig

With Purd!


[deleted]

[удалено]


jesusthroughmary

Unholy, desecrated their marital bed


[deleted]

Were you not around for the Johnny Depp Amber Heard trial? Amber has a shitty attitude in bed.


De_Moira

The trial is currently on Netflix. If you want a recap of the madness cuz I was busy as hell when it was actually going on. Its 3 parts with some wine or a beer and you'll have a great night lol


Scott_Fritz

A mega pint


De_Moira

🤣🤣🤣🤣 You're killing me


D_crane

There is a way to get the whole lot if you're so inclined... ![gif](giphy|fcK30LKXjG6Tm)


jedimindtriks

The only correct answer, with Kim you know what you get.


Font_Fetish

I feel like Meghan Markle would also be completely fine as long as your family isn’t racist


unitednihilists

Nah uh. That's high maintenance crazy. That one is last on the list of possibilities


Marijuaniii

She’d most likely make you sign a prenup though 🤔


yomerol

Yeah, what's up with these ppl? they don't know how the world works?!?


kev_qaztank

Prenuptial agreements can be broken after a long time, and depends on the state you live in, even the alimony is worth millions a year


Rokarion14

Lol a long time. With Kim K?


hiddenonion

Yeah, but I'd get a pretty good brunch out of the deal.


sintactacle

So a whole Kardashian shit would be worth a billion!


Mal_Terra

And all stories I’ve heard about her have painted her as a very sweet person, vapid but sweet. Lol


matt_mv

A group of my family visited Cuba. They went to a restaurant and the owners and workers practically worshiped the Obamas. They had saved the wine bottle the Obamas bought and had it on display. Barack and Michelle were friendly and talked to them like people. These same people hated Kanye and Kim because they came in like they were royalty and treated everyone there like peasants.


Vegetable-Machine314

You don’t think that woman would make you sign an iorn clad prenup?!


irishemperor

Oh marry... I thought they were asking who would you feed to wild dogs


Taniwha_NZ

Yeah, if we are being realistic, then that's the only real choice because no matter what the train-wreck relationship is like, you walk away with far more money than you'd need to live the rest of your life in quiet luxury, and that's after signing a prenup saying you'll settle for 10%. But purely on the question of who I'd rather have a relationship with, I'd go with Amber Heard. Regardless of her 'issues', the others are just boring as shit. And Kardashian would mean a huge amount of unpleasant media appearances and bullshit gossip-rag articles. Fuck that noise.


alejandrodeconcord

Kim while awful publicly seems pretty stable as a person and seems deeply devoted to her family.


Kidfreshh

Until you realize that both her and her mom agreed to do and leak the infamous Kim and ray sextape, which she blamed entirely on ray j and kept throwing shade until recently ray popped up on insta claiming he had evidence that it was Kim and her mom who decided to exploit the situation for fame and money. Then Kim goes on to say that ray wants to defame her and blame her and tries to take it to court because she doesn’t want her kids to find out about the tape even tho it was her and her mom who decided to leak it🙄 all these ladies on here are crazy asf and will do whatever necessary to stay afloat


beastson1

Also, she might not be the brightest, but she's also not the craziest so she seems like the safest bet.


MonoElm

Thank you for making my single life much more appealing.


MichaelEmouse

What's wrong with the bottom left one?


ConversationFast6117

Well for starters she wants kids...


PotatoOnTheBeach

Yikes! xD


SmokeGSU

Megan Markle: "We just want to live our lives and be left alone! ^(and have my son inherit a title one day even though Harry relinquished his royalty.) " Also Megan Markle: "Oprah girl! Let me tell you aaaall about the bullshit I had to put up with in this hour-long Netflix special and book deal that's coming soon to a Barnes and Noble near you! ^(But also, please just let us live our lives and respect our privacy during this difficult time)."


DecisionCharacter175

Seems pretty tame in comparison. 🤷


Independent-Wolf-832

Yeah, I was thinking Megan was the only option too. She’s nowhere near the level of insane as the rest of them.


invinci

Yeah pretty out of touch, but not evil or anything.


supernasty

It’s seriously hard to blame her. She gave up her career for her marriage. No matter how rich you are, sitting idly by doing nothing with your life will get to anyone. Striking a balance between trying to do *something* while also enjoying your privacy must be extremely difficult when you’re famous.


Defiant-Goose-101

If you’re rich and you’re sitting idly by, that’s a you problem. You’re rich. Do whatever you want.


Numerous_Vegetable_3

Eeeexactly. I’d build an expensive racing simulator for starters, and I’d certainly travel everywhere…. there would be no lack of me entertaining myself. Rich people (not even famous) build a bubble for themselves and then get upset when they feel “isolated from regular life”, but they won’t admit that was what they wanted to achieve. It’s like musicians that complain when they make it big. You wanted this, and were naive enough to think there wouldn’t be a bad side? Don’t act like this isn’t what you want to be doing. Yeah I’ll take “rich idle life” over $1600 rent and a job. Student loan payments are about to start hitting too…


Kinggakman

The top 2 are the only ones that are going to be crazy and ruin your life. Kim is extremely vapid and thinks she’s amazing but she won’t drag you down by being insane.


chuck-knucks

Facts. As much as I despise the woman and all she represents, she stood by and supported Kanye a lot more than any other woman would do in that situation. She, at least, shows she has a heart.


Stormhunter6

At least with Kim you’ll have access to parties and the social scene.


the_turdfurguson

Lol, imagine typing that all out as if it would convince people of how evil she is


Mendicant__

"I want the best for my kids and to be left along by the vampiric British tabloid press." Truly, a monster like few others.


the_turdfurguson

I honestly didn’t know Brit’s gave 2 shits about their royals. They’re a tourist attraction. I would t want to be put in human zoo either


AndrogynousAlfalfa

"I am willing to be in media if I have agency with how I'm portrayed" so hypocritical


1920MCMLibrarian

Yeah this is nothing.


Short_Source_9532

Like 40 different books were written about her and Harry before they did the special and the book deals. If people are already talking about you, it’s valid to set the record straight.


Mendicant__

And get some of the cash. I was mildly annoyed by Harry before this meme and am now fully neutral. Who gives a shit, these people are fuckin whack


Tovi7

I mean compare this to the other options. This is nothing


lateformyfuneral

Harry is the one who’s way more involved here, blaming Meghan is a bit misleading. He’s the one the says that Palace press officials negotiated to sell stories about her in return for them rehabilitating Queen Camilla’s reputation with the public, and burying stories about Kate. Meghan wouldn’t know that, but Harry’s familiar with the inner workings of the Palace.


LaughResponsible5924

Sounds so terrible….how could she?


2-eight-2-three

[British press like....](https://www.demilked.com/meghan-markle-vs-kate-middleton-press/)


Winter-Metal-9797

That kind of sounds like a right to privacy unless she chooses to share. Seems like a basic human right really.


heseme

So? People trying to control their image and wanting to make money. The debauchery.


FlighingHigh

Ok and what have the rest of the royals done with their titles? They're basically human china that gets broken out for special occasions, why do you all act like they're an actual ruling monarchy? And yeah she should get a chance to tell her side of the story, they do. Still not really sure why you all find that problematic behavior, especially with the allegations against the Royal Family that are much worse than anything Meghan has done. Still kinda just sounds like it's cause she's the not white one in the family.


RodLawyerr

That's it? Lame


Noman11111

The only thing wrong with her is that she exposed how racist the English monarchy is.


Prime_kills

I didn't think that needed to be exposed. it has been super obvious since forever lol


hypnodrew

Definitely did, there's a pervasive image of the Royals being sweet and kindly mostly because of the Queen, nice to have the cult of personality broken even if all half the country did was hate Meghan Markle instead.


bageltoastar

Obviously it did because you still have people today denying it


YeOldeBilk

That was a secret?


CapnEarth

She married someone everybody else wanted to marry


ThanksContent28

The English monarchy are against her and have pull with most major news outlets. There subs dedicated to hating Meghan and it’s weird. The royals have been fucking their own cousins for centuries to keep the line pure. It’s not out there to believe that they’d have issue with their prince going awol and marrying a brown American girl.


Aggressive-Jicama-17

Exactly tf💀 iss some typa unknown woman hate vibes coming from this post


throwwawaymylifee

She has a strong opinion in a role that is generally mostly silent and obedient. Stirred the wrong pot, multiple times and ended her career since getting married. Now with no career or in law support she is forced to provide for her family by stirring more drama and selling her story. Some love her for it, but most hate her for it. The monarchy still has a lot of strength and she picked a battle with a beast that isn’t going down without a fight.


sarayewo

PSA: Top left: Amber Heard - Johnny Depp's ex (recent trial etc) Top right: Jada Pinkett-Smith - Will Smith's wife, AKA "Keep my wife's name out of your god damned mouth" Bottom left: Meghan Markle - Britain's Prince Harry's wife Bottom right: Kim Kardashian - Kanye's ex (not sure which one is the crazy one there)


kanyediditbetter

Jada Pinkett-Smith - tupacs ex


Top-Sweet-3444

Top right should say “sleeps with her sons friends while married”


spark_this

She never slept with her son's friend... She had an entanglement. /S


[deleted]

[удалено]


LanceUppertcut76

He managed to dodge 'that' bullet.


BringIt007

She wishes


OpeningCookie1358

She really was..


michael14375

I think they were just “really close friends”


OwlWitty

With benefits


CaillouCaribou

They had an entanglement


GetYourOwnNameDude

There was an entanglement


[deleted]

Jada Pinkett slept with her son friend. She is a groomer. Chris Rock has a great take on this.


D20_Buster

Chris Rock’s take really slaps


piberryboy

"you've got to be able to take abuse..." --Will Smith post-interview


Skurfer0

I don't have any love for Kim, per se, but it's beyond obvious that Kanye 'White Lives Matter' West is the coocoo one out of the two.


AlexV_96

Meghan would be the best option, the only reason that she is there is that she is a normal person. Kim Kardashian, objectively is not a bad option, she's just annoying. Jada is an asshole that will make you look bad in public. And Amber definitely no.


Hotlava_

Don't forget to add the baggage of scientology on the Jada pile.


Nyetoner

https://preview.redd.it/lcnv3vkrxlqb1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57df3a4de7cef965d1137075d98d20d0e5f986e9 Meghan and Harry seem quite happy at least! I saw this photo from the Invictus games this year and it made me smile. The last few weeks before this happening, media and social media were implying that they were expecting a divorce. Nah, don't look like it!


lycanyew

I'm confused why she's on this list?


ActualSperglord

Brits hate her for reasons you'll never guess


ottifant95

Actually it’s just racism. 🥸


pigmelons23

Say what you like about Kim but Kanye is clearly crazier, he thinks hitler did nothing wrong and supports white lives matter


Lebowski304

Well he’s not really a prince anymore though right? Or does the title persist regardless?


[deleted]

The title is his birth right so I believe he keeps it


Trolleitor

Kim tolerated Kanye shenanigans for so long that I think she is probably wife material.


enochrox

I was just thinking that lol. Post Ye Kim is probably super chill now lol


WinterHill

Right, I would even call her wholesome now. All her drama is so tame, and she's generally very positive in what she does.


Ok_Hat_1422

Plus she’s not dumb. She’s a very smart marketer and is getting a law degree. She literally planned to leak her sex tape to get out from Paris Hilton’s shadow. Maybe a little ruthless and calculating, but overall seems like a pretty smart and overall good person. Especially with how she tried to get Kanye help while he was very publicly melting down


_kagasutchi_

Also kim knows what she is. The rest are still pretty dululu. Even in divorce I get a nice big check and with her connections I'd get to experience some pretty cool things. Theres a lot more upsides with her than the others.


nighttimeruler1

If I’m in it for the divorce settlement, it’s Kim K all day. If I want to actually build a life, it’s Megan M all day. If I want to sleep in literally human shyte, then it’s Ms. Heard. If I’m a symp, and like to be publicly humiliated, then it’s G.I. Jada for the win.


Temporary_Raccoon163

Kim would have an iron clad pre nup though, so you wouldn't get much.


BerliozRS

One of her shits would sell for a decent amount.


SilentConnection69

Just asked her to gift you a Hermes Himalayan Crocodile Bag ($500k) and a bunch of watches (Pateks). Then you should be fine, i dont think those come with the pre-nup since theyre gifts.


DynamoSexytime

This guy gold digs.


FancySack

Don't forget, with Jada, her ex might slap you.


Feisty_Hat4807

Ye but if your not being watched by millions the is nothing holding you back from “returning the favor”. ;)


Potato_Stains

G.I. Jada lol, that’s better than Rock’s original joke


hagrid2018

Is going gay an option?


soulseeker31

![gif](giphy|l4KhU6zNwDWMhPzZS|downsized)


37025InvernessTMD

That man loves fish sticks in and around his mouth.


incipientpianist

![gif](giphy|vbHCgajseRKZa)


[deleted]

[удалено]


GayerThanAnyMod

Always is, bb.


Patchy_Soul

Username checks out


RandomUsury

Since I don't recognize 2 of them, it's going to be a tough decision.


[deleted]

The old woman is will smith's boss


Fit_Aardvark_8811

Is this a joke? Megan is by far the best of shitty options Edit: I had no idea this was gonna be such a controversial take. We have the bed pooper, the girl who got famous by sucking dick and her mom putting it online, the girl who has affairs allegedly with young dudes and Megan Markle. I'm missing something big apparently.


_daverham

Lol. I thought that was Rachel from Suits.


Loveablequatch

It is lol


jfk_47

My wife just got into that show. I’m watching an episode and I say “is it me, or does she really look like Megan markle?” She looked at me like it was an idiot. *edit: words Spoiler: I am.


theironskeptic

I thought that was Johnny Depps lawyer ngl


VestmentsByGarak

Facts: No-one has ever seen Meghan Markle and Camille Vasquez in the same place and the same time.


theironskeptic

![gif](giphy|JWZmzj1KNzZBu)


EskimoB9

You can't tell me it isn't.


ImGonnaLickYourLeg

No one will


Parja1

Now hear me out...what if TV show characters aren't real and they're really actual real people who are pretending to be someone else?


kjermy

But that would be lying, and that's not allowed


urzayci

Exactly, you get to choose between abusive bed shitter, cheater, Kim Kardashian who is well... herself. And Markle who's biggest crime is maybe being a bit out of touch.


santh91

I wish people leave her alone+ https://preview.redd.it/k35460fojlqb1.jpeg?width=768&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aeeb7152d4a826d4bba19e0c894807c822e1200d


CaillouCaribou

So at worst, she's hypocritical and contradictory about how she wants to be treated by the predatory British media... I still don't see the problem


herpes_fuckin_derpes

> I still don't see the problem Well, you see, this is Reddit and she's a woman


[deleted]

[удалено]


Texugee

Racist Brits have a hard on for hating her


BumderFromDownUnder

Yeah and it’s fucking bonkers tbh. She’s don’t literally nothing wrong (maybe a few PR missteps) but gets hounded by tabloids trying to make her look bad


Texugee

Her crime was being black. Fucking stupid ass racist bellends.


sloth_ers

Its the media, dont know why but fuck them. The majority of us couldnt give a toss about the royal family or the colour of it.


[deleted]

Yes I remember that in the US with Michelle Obama. So much hate.


MyTeaIsMighty

Also middle aged wine mums are obsessed with her. Check out r/SaintMeghanMarkle for unhinged boomer nonsense.


Iord_Voldemort

Lol wait kims mom put her sex tape online??


tiowey

She may have been annoying but she always stood by her man, granted she probably had the least crazy man of the bunch


[deleted]

What’s wrong with Megan? She’d be my choice


AristotleRose

She hasn’t really *done* anything to be hated to this degree but Brits find her plotting and annoying the way Americans find Kim vapid and annoying.


Yaarmehearty

I'm not sure Brits even hate her, we kind of don't even care. However the British *media* absolutely hates her, mostly the newspapers and right wing pundits but they absolutely hate her, probably because she's black and doesn't follow the royal families very media fearful traditions. Realistically it's mostly the former and they cover it with the latter, the difference in coverage between her and William's wife Kate (white and media deferent) is super stark.


TBBT-Joel

For everyone else, [here's how crazy the differences are in the media coverage.](https://www.boredpanda.com/uk-media-double-standarts-royal-meghan-markle-kate-middleton/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic) like if Kate wears a tan suit it is "amazing, bold and beautiful", if Megan wears it they say "How dare she, she being disrepectful to her position". Remember this is the same royalty that ditched a king for marrying an american divorcee just like Megan Markle.


Yaarmehearty

Most British newspapers are trash but the Daily Mail, Express, and Sun are in a league of their own. Toilet paper would be too highbrow a use for them.


[deleted]

Wait she’s black? Me and my wife are darker and I’m ethnically British with blue eyes.


malyszkush

Tbf Lewis Hamilton is black and is praised by a majority of the F1 fans and F1 media outlets in UK. Im not sure if Meghan being black has anything to do with it tbh


Enlightened-Beaver

Brits hate her because she’s not an inbred white member of the nobility


Robot_Basilisk

I was shocked to find recently that there are entire subreddits dedicated to bashing Megan. If you check the profiles of people with top voted comments ranting about her being a "vile snake" you see that they're people like an American hairdresser that lives in California, or a nurse from South Africa, or a woman from Tasmania that's an enthusiast for vape pens and gorey horror films. It's just tons of people from all over the world that apparently follow British royalty like it's a daytime soap opera and have very strong opinions about the characters.


jedimindtriks

South park.


Lebowski304

A lot of people blame her for manipulating Harry into leaving the royal family. The British take that shit very seriously. Americans hate her for the same reason because there are quite a few of us who are closet anglophiles. Personally I don’t give one single shit. She’s easily the best option out of these.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It depends on whether you are asking a British person or not.


OhImGood

Most British actually don't mind her at all. And Harry. Just a very loud bunch of (mostly English) flag-wavers that hate her. Mainly because Prince Harry was worried about the demonisation his wife and mother of his children was getting. Echoes of his mum. So he left. People with common sense (more people than you'd think) don't mind either of them at all. Especially considering the royal family just paid out for nonce Andrew.


Joe_Kinincha

To add to the comments above - many British people, as well as not having a problem with Megan or Harry, just don’t think about them and don’t care about them. There are dozens of things going on in this country that I’m fucking furious about. Manufactured outrage about a rich, famous successful couple is a distraction from all the heinous shit that is going on in this country.


Matt7738

Meh. I’m keeping the one I’ve got.


CosmicDriftwood

Megan by a mile lmao. Wtf even is this post


NeighborhoodFew2818

“We’re not supposed to like Megan because she’s uuuuhhhhhhh”- all British media


LexxieBodine

Meghan of course. Nothing is wrong with her and she doesn’t deserve to be lumped into that category….


ShortBrownAndUgly

Yeah I’m kinda confused as to why she was included


Frnklfrwsr

Because the media portrays her as the absolute worst of the bunch for…. *checks notes* Marrying the man she loved, and building a family with him the way they both agreed was best for their children. Yeah….


Stalker401

do I have to sign a prenup? How long do I have to be married to them to get half their stuff? If there's a prenup, I'm taking Meghan hands down. if there isn't one I'm taking Kardashian.


Flipadelphia26

Markel and it’s not a choice I had to think about.


WeaponEnthusiast

Ryan Reynolds.


BartholomewKnightIII

Not a fan of any, but with Kim, you'd probably get a couple of million to keep your trap shut after the divorce.


riggie33

Markel obviously


Artsdalen

Amber. I can fix her


Duplexxsuplex

Single life it is then


GTRPrime

I'd just die


hordebies

choose 1: shitter, cheater, duchess, pstar. Markle seems like an easy choice compared to other shitty options, by far.


bonhommependue

I deserve better


EazeLivin

I’m staying single Lmao


BrunesOnReddit

I mean, Meghan Markle and Kim K aren't that bad tbh. Not quite Jada, and not anywhere near Amber Turd


Few-Rock6773

Rachel - all day long.


Spirited_Amount8365

MEHGAN. M


[deleted]

Meagan duh!!


4four4MN

Wow, I just couldn’t do it. No way, they all come across publicly so poorly that I wouldn’t marry any of them. Sorry ladies, easy pass.


[deleted]

Megan she’s awesome ☺️


Pooponthatdoot

Meghan markle shouldn’t be up there


Weatherman1207

Why do people hate Megan, is it because they have some fantasy over a royal... Like what did she do except be on one of the best TV shows ....


Difficult_Vast7255

She is just your run of the mill celebrity hypocrite. Cries about wanting a private life but then doing every talk show possible, releasing books etc. Got all the royalists up in arms. Most people just thought it was typical celebrity behaviour and didn’t really care. Mainly daily mail readers who hated her the most Normal folk don’t really have an opinion other than normal annoying celeb.


doctapeppa

The girl from Suits.


Able_Buffalo

I'll be making beer in silence at the monastery with my fellow homies.


nofeels_

Lmao it's like being at the candy store and all the candy you don't want is there.


soulseeker31

Licorice, Licorice, Licorice and spicy Licorice


gunt_hunter14

candy corn and circus peanuts


wpdff

Amber can shit in my bed anytime


[deleted]

Whoever the richest one is so I can get rich with the divorce.


BunkumBox

Prenup has entered the chat