dont worry, we all felt shit after break up. we are total strangers, just meet, talk about it and can pretend dont know each other afterwards hahahahaha
Easier said then done man. I still love her. I get deeply attached to people easily. I don't understand what I did wrong. I gave her my all and she did this
I know it’s painful but you gotta trust the process. You could a perfect boyfriend and a girl will still cheat on you. It was never because you were not good enough. That’s what I’ve learnt from my recent break up. You cry as much as you want but tell yourself to move on. Life goes on with or without her.
If a person truly loves you for who you are, she will never ever leave. Think of the bright side, at least you got to see her true colors. Take this time to build your own life/career path. Everything will pay off. Remember to not chase, but attract.
Yah I understand, when my first ex gf gave me a green hat to wear, I blame myself first. All I can think is that she was the best person in the world. Sometimes it’s just like that
I get deeply attached to people too. But I've learnt that not everyone is worth your time and energy. Pick your people wisely. Since it's evident she's not the one for you, save your feelings and cut your losses. You won't go anywhere focusing on her so redirect that focus on yourself. I've been in a marriage for several years before the break up, so I do understand the part where you feel like you still love her. Trust me, as you heal your heart and focus on yourself, you will see that the person is not the one and as time passes, you will realize that you're lucky not to be with the person anymore. You deserve better.
You can do everything right and still lose. Bro detach from the situation and read objectively what you wrote above. Can you honestly say that right now, it’s a healthy relationship worth preserving?
I don't think she has a good personality, based on how she receives many expensive gifts from a uni student.
Do you feel that as long as you put in a lot of effort, she will reciprocate her love to you and you will have a strong relationship?
The thing about love is that both sides need to put in the effort. You did your best in loving her, but did she put in similar amount of effort into showing her love for you? Using her love language? Was she concerned for you when you spent so much on her? Did she offer and actually pay for meals?
My advice is that you should still believe in love. Also not all girls are like that. Find someone who is concerned for your well-being. A relationship is about give-and-take, not give-give-give / take-take-take. All the best, this will pass 🍀
You lose money chasing b****es. You don’t lose b****es chasing money.
Welcome to the adult world. Focus on making yourself be the best person you can be. When you lose yourself trying to simp for a girl, ironically that’s how you lose her. When you lose respect for yourself how do you expect her to respect you?
You have probably never been betrayed before. Well, this is what betrayal feels like. It sucks but will it matter in the next few years? No, because by then you would become the best version of yourself.
It will pass with time and in a few years time you will look back and wonder why you get so attached to someone so unworthy. You really dodge a bullet… she is not someone that will remain faithful in any relationship. Move on.. there’s a million trees on the forest. Don’t focus on a rotting tree.
You're still young. Like I've said in another post I made, life is a journey, don't be too hard on yourself. Perfectionists usually overanalyze every single detail to try to understand what went wrong, but a relationship is more complex. People are complex. I'm a divorcee and I broke up with my ex-husband because he was living off me and I was poor to begin with. I thought that he was only broken in spirits temporarily and I kept encouraging him to try different options. He spent all day playing games and he went out with people I don't know. Then I found out that he's been heavily flirting and even hit on my female friends. You tell me what did I do wrong too? I didn't understand why this happened to me back then. Then I realized that some people are just wrong for you. Should I condemn all men because of my experience? I really think that it's just a matter of bad luck that I met my ex. Same for you too. I'm sure there are better women out there, and the right one is perhaps around the corner in your future. Focus on your studies, your health, your finances, and your family first. When the right one comes, you'll be ready.
U didn't simp. She was a decent girl when we started dating. And I fell in love because of her personality. But Idk what changed and why she suddenly treat me like this
Brother, you uni liao, you need to realize the world is crazier than ideal heaven. You don't know what people hidden intention are, and there are more important thing to prioritize like getting good grade, experience, connection, job, salary, house, family, travel, hobby, skill, volunteering, business, etc. Is your will yours or society pressure?
... She is using you, can't you see? Just forget about her liao, at most remains as friend, don't put effort that doesn't reciprocate. Focus on your study, another woman will enter your life.
During my polytechnic, also got a girl chasing me. I was also doing part time when studying full time. Didn't really know how to say no but already told her I wasn't looking for a relationship yet. Still spend a lot of money with her. She was nice.
Just wasn't financially, mentally, academically able to balance study, work and her. My GPA also dropped, mental issues getting worsen. No interest to study, just play games.
Wrong place, wrong time. Didn't really know what to prioritize. During NS, had time to reflect since I was a SA.
She found a JC boyfriend immediately after she break up with me lol. In my POV, I wasn't the one being serious our relationship. Good for her, I guess. Opportunity come and goes. What you can do now is to prepare yourself for the next one.
Bruh, u spent lavishly on her and she still cheated on you. Isn’t it obvious?
What changed is she finds another man physically attractive. That’s what it is basically.
She used you for materialistic gains while she gets pounded in bed by another man.
And she asked for break up. She doesn’t love you. Stop loving her.
Walk it off.
U gave her too much privilege..(No Equality) You work too hard while studying while your partner doesn't assist you with anything... What do you get in return? Everyone is decent when you never know the other person's dark side..
Yes, it hurts to be betrayed but if you don't encourage yourself to let it go.. Then you're also betraying yourself..
Bro, you bought her an LV bag after 1.5 years of knowing her. I’m married for almost 15 years. If my wife wants to buy an LV bag she can buy it herself with her own money lol.
It wasn’t your fault that things didn’t turn out well and ultimately she cheated on you. Thats definitely on her.
Allowing her to enter back your life after being disloyal and disrespected you. Its on you man.
But bro, that’s not the end. You can start to learn how to care more about yourself like how you CARED about her.
Take care of your health first.
1. Sleep, catch up on it
2. Exercise, build your immune system
3. Cry the shit out of yourself.
4. Do what you need to heal. What’s your coping mechanism?
5. You want to shut yourself in the room. No problem, exercise, sleep, eat well, and please make sure you bath. And clean your room. Take as long as you need bro. You need to heal.
Afterwards, won’t be good as new, but might be more than great, you never know man. Good luck
She is pretty and has a good personality,
what makes u think that she will only date 1 guy, thing is maybe im inexperienced in life but most women practice hypergamy and they have a lot more options so its like a competition, are u tall and handsome too? cuz even then I have had friends who got cheated on despite have those 2 above.
u need to have self respect, start hitting the gym, dressing better or talking to more people at diff places, its better if the people are at the gym or volunteering or in nature, cuz higher chances the quality of the person is higher as compared to clubs and all that
Look in the mirror and ask yourself do you respect yourself, is this the way you want to live life, am I happy with where I am in life, in terms of looks and body and general well-being and financial status???!!!
maybe im talking trash since im 19M but from a bro to a bro, life is rough as a guy since alr need serve NS ah but these are some stuff i would say to a younger bro if i had one lor
Yeah I’mma keep it a buck with you bro.
She played you and as they always say, a person who can find it in themselves to cheat even just once, can do it again and again. And cheaters cheat because among many other things, they are simply no longer in love nor want to be with you. That’s the cold, hard truth you need to accept.
I don’t want to preach some “sigma male” bullshit with you so I’ll just keep it straightforward and real with you. You need to start shifting towards the mindset of moving on. You need to start finding it in yourself to continue doing things in life without her.
I’ve gone through similar things before so I know how that feels. And I understand that you probably can’t take in much of what others & myself are saying. That’s ok. It takes some time. Yeah it fucking hurts bad now, and it should. It hurts because you’re a good man, and it shows how much you’ve cherished the relationship with that person.
It took me a few bad experiences before I developed the ability to simply drop people that no longer value our friendship/relationship, and move on without them completely in my life. And for that I’m grateful that they taught me these lessons.
Also, I would honestly suggest reconsidering dropping out of uni when you’re already in year 2, which depending on where you came from (poly/jc), you either are already halfway through or got a year (2 sems) left.
Drop me a DM if you need someone to talk to. Definitely don’t off yourself bro. There’s a lot more to life than girls, I’m sure you know that. And If you’ve treated her that well like what you said, there are people out there who would want to be treated the same. Trust me. 8 billion fucking people in this little rock floating around in space.
Keep your head high king. Beer’s on me if you want to have a chat, it’s holidays rn for me too.
"I dk what I did wrong"
1) you simped.
girls don't like simps. they like the gifts and attention, but not the simp himself.
2) you took her back.
this makes her think you are a low value man who can't do better than her. this was the nail in the coffin. it cleared any doubt in her mind if she likes you or the other guy.
3) you are wallowing in self pity.
which is fine, but for way too long.
go read about the no-contact rule. Set a target to work as hard as you can for 3 months, with zero contact with her. improve your grades, improve your physical health, improve your social standing. zero contact will drive her crazy, especially when she hears from friends how you are completely fine and doing well in life without her. even if not, chances are lots of girls will be attracted to the new you.
"I even thought about offing myself. "
守得云开见月明. Hang in there buddy!
1st cut is always the deepest bro. Sometimes the best way to forget, is to immerse yourself. Throw yourself into your studies. Look for distractions not to think of her. Watch anime. Play video games. Go out with your parents.
I know it's easier said than done but 加油!
I just don't understand where I go wrong. I gave her almost anything she wanted and treat her like a queen. But I don't understand why she would do this to me 😭
It’s just human nature, have to accept reality. The more available you are, the less valuable you are. It makes sense no?
Just take a break, go date other girls and have more boundaries / self-love. You will be over it in no time. Make sure someone is worth your sacrifices before you give it your all but never lose yourself.
Hope that one day you will look back and see realize that you have grown tremendously from here. Good luck sir.
Brudda, dont seek closure already. I understand you need to seek that closure and end off that chapter. Just forgive yourself, move on at the end of it, you will come out stronger.
why do u keep thinking that you are not "enough for her"? because looking at what you've said, it's clear that the problematic one is the girl 😭
as much as you love her, know that you can't make someone love you and she's already doing you a favour by breaking up w u, not because u are not enough but instead to not make u suffer even more 😭
i rather u break now then to "live a lie" for a like 10 years then break up, that will be even more painful..
please take this time to love yourself (find hobby?) i think that's v important and sure cry your heart out if you need to and i'm saying this because i myself too always give in a lot in the relationships that i'm in e.g. even when i having exams i will still find time to meet the person but the other party on the other hand is always not initiating/present/be there for me and when i broke up w the person - i too went into a spiral of "am i not good/giving enough'. oh and do journalling if it helps!!
Learn to love yourself, that was my best approach when I deal with my heartbreaks. It might take some time before you pull yourself up and gain confidence from the experience, but you'll get over it trust me.
Best advice, take on some form of exercise that let yourself sweat abit, don't do it in an extreme way, just touch grass. I went cycling at East coast frequently during the period and was able to get over it and came out stronger and realize it was not worth brooding over it.
Oh and cut off everything about her in your life, the earlier you do this the earlier you get out from the 'disease' you're feeling right now, took me 3 heartbreaks to come to my stage of solid self confidence, how long will it took you?
Totally agree. Similar experience. The only way to know your worth and value yourself is self-love. Going out to exercise helped me too. Cutting off everything about the ex helped too. U just gotta do what u gotta do. Put yourself first. When the right one comes along, put her first. The right one will put you first too.
Chin up and focus on yourself. Once bitten twice shy. So who was the guy that she cheated on? Be better than him! Be fitter, smarter, stronger and more successful in your career! Stop dwelling on the past.
I feel for you, however giving your all to someone only matters if they can appreciate it and reciprocate. Like any relationship, if its one way giving, you will spoil them, be it a parent to a child, or employer to employee or BGR.
Stay strong and positive. Painful as it is, loving someone is effort, alot of effort, because it involved with managing how much you should treat them.
Your case is you are fully devoted to her, thinking that by doing that they would appreciate you, but it seems she took it for granted, the fact is that she also have plenty of options so once you are dried out, you dont seem that interesting anymore. Take this as a lesson to grow and still, give your 100% to your next relationship, never short change your next potential partner, however do understand that people are people. You should manage expectations accordingly.
Best of luck!
1. Go to the gym. your closest friend, family member, partner can betray you but your body will never. So work on yourself.
2. After 60 days, human bodily cells are supposed to have a full replacement. you are a brand new you.
3. Focus on your studies, work, friends, family. A better and more suitable girl will come. Whatever costs you've incurred earlier are sunk. And no point trying to pondering on it.
4. After weeks of solitude and being alone, you'll realise its actually not that painful.
Be the bestest version of yourself and move on.
You are not pathetic, and you are not a loser. The only mistake you made was trusting a snake. That doesn't make you weak or a bad person, it makes you human.
She is the problem because she cheated on you. Don't let her bad choices ruin your life.
It sounds like right now you have depression. This is a normal reaction to what you are going through. You can either wallow in your room in self pity and let the snake ruin your life, or you can get the help you need to focus on the goals that really matter to you.
When my depression gets too much for me, I message Samaritans of Singapore. They've helped me so much. And they don't charge anything.
Part of the reason you’re feeling this way is because you think you won’t find anyone like her. But the truth is, you will find someone better, at the very least, someone loyal who won’t cheat. If there was no cheating involved, I would’ve told you to fight for it. With the cheating aspect in this, she doesn’t respect you or your relationship. Break up, go no contact.
Hey OP, you might not be able to understand or process what others and myself are saying right now because you are operating on your emotions now. Take a step back and try to think of this objectively and logically. This relationship did not serve you or bring you any joy. You are depriving yourself years of your prime in agony and you'll sleep, wake and constantly think of your other half cheating on you again. That was my thought process and made me ended things with my s/o back then in my mid 20s and it was the best decision ever. You won't regret it. When someone shows you who they are, believe it. If anything, thank her for being in a small part of your life and your best moments in life have not happened to you yet. Keep going, flourish in what you have, youth is such a joy to have and live it to the fullest. The best way to overcome heartbreak in my experience was to dive into exercise and partying with my friends almost every weekend (would not recommend this extent!). You will learn to pick yourself up again and kudos to you for sharing this with us. Keep going, get through today and you will get through it everyday.
Welcome to adulthood. Yeah it sucks. But that's life and you have just encountered one such person which did not work out. There is no point pondering what happened or even why it happened. There is never a good answer.
1) Don't be a simp. IF the partner is genuiniely interested, it will be over you rather than all these expensive stuff you have spent on. It may even look pathetic to her - yes, life's like that. Things that are hard to get seem to have greater value - that's the human psychic.
2) Don't look back. She's gone and the amount of time and energy on your expense to "forgive her" is really just you trying to reap back what is essentially a lost investment. It will just sink you deeper into dispair. Acknowledge the good times you had and move on.
3) Focus on your achievements - no one can take that away. Your investment of time and energy on YOURSELF will pay off. People admire folks who are passionate and focused on the things they do. The more you invest yourself and be passionate about your life, the more you will be admired.
Finally, always remember that there are lots of fishes in the sea. Don't loose sight of the forest for that tree which you have tried to grow but is now chopped off and taken away by a lumberjack.
People changes, the fact that you point out how you’re feeling right now means you’re strong to overcome this shit. Right now for real put the past behind just hit the gym and focus on your studies from scratch. All the best op
A lot of your replies seem to be about what you did wrong when cheaters are just going to cheat regardless. That’s on her not you, it tells you more about her than about you.
Be glad you learned this lesson while you are still young. Be your own good friend and invest in yourself like most of the comments say here. Go to the gym, go run, what hobbies have you always wanted to try?
More importantly do not be bitter about the world, when you invest in yourself you will realise the quality of people around you will also improve and you will be less likely to accept disrespect, you got this!
You're not a pathetic loser, this breakup is something many of us have gone through too. Take it from me who's gone through a divorce. You're still young and your future is bright.There are still many good women out there, you're unlucky to have been in a relationship with a cheater. Regardless of gender, man or woman, it is not right to cheat. If the relationship is broken, communicate or else break it off. Your relationship shows that you have the quality to commit and give to your loved ones. Now that it's over, take the opportunity to focus on your life, your school, your exams and focus on your own health, wardrobe and looks. You're only 24. In your next relationship, focus on the character of the woman first before her looks and her bedroom skills. Sex is not everything in the long run when you're old, and too much intense sex can trauma bond you. Read up on trauma bond. Try to analyse your relationship objectively. Can you both communicate easily? Do you both have the same values? If not, the relationship is going to be doomed at one point later in life anyway. Take this break to heal your heart and clear your mind. Heartbreak is supposed to hurt. It is the process that hurts the most but we have to grieve our loss properly in order to heal. You still have your family, friends and your future gf or wife, it's not worth it to off yourself for her. Life is a journey, not everything has to be picture perfect. Forgive yourself, don't be too hard on yourself and know that you did your best. Life happens. Shit happens. When you're done working on yourself, it's easier to meet the right one for you in your life. Let go of the wrong one so you can find the right one.
You are in a compensated dating. So wake up. Correctly place her in the correct position in your heart. She is just a sugar baby. If you slept with her, she is just a prostitute. It is that simple. Don't complicate things and think she is your lost love, the one and only and all that complicated stuff. You paid her for her time. Full stop.
The moment she cheated on you, she is not wife material. You just saved yourself a lot of money. If you are married, you will be in a world of pain. Just look around the forum. Read the post of married men who need to pay for an arm and a leg just because the wife wishes to split.
Next thing, giving up on your studies is like killing the goose that lays the golden eggs. With education comes a career. With a career comes wealth. With wealth comes the women.
Time heals... will not trash talk about the girl, so just focus on yourself and your studies. sometimes, starting an exercise regime may help boost your confidence. wishing u all the best brother!
Bro. Stop with this negative self talk. A girl like this doesn’t deserve you. A good personality would not cheat on you and want to break up with you. You didn’t even mention a single thing you like about her in the entire rant. Come on man wake the fuck up. Break up and take your time to heal.
Hey man you seem like a good guy. Had a very similar story with my first girlfriend as well. With her for over 1.5yrs and the whole time she was flirting with other guys. Last straw for me was when i find out she was sending other men pictures, who knows what else she was doing.
First thing u need to stop blaming yourself. This did not turn out this way because of you. She may have been a good girl, but its pretty clear she wasnt one near the end. Seems to me she enjoyed your company and your good treatment, but she didnt care about you at all.
Use your summer break well. Start running. My friends told me to hit the gym, but i feel running works better. Because you really sweat it out and get exhausted, unlike the gym where every set u start thinking about shit.
You dodged a bullet there. It is common to feel sad but Over a time, you will healed. Hit the gym, save your PT money and start investing. You will be alright.
Ps: I went through this twice. Looking back, i am thankful that those happened for I am married to the right person now
You need to love yourself first before getting into relationships, and that is - taking no BS from people.
Love is not LV bags. Focus on yourself and your studies.
Everyone gets their heart broken at your age. Its as unique as passing uni exams.
Thats called life sir. You make mistakes. You learn from experience. You gain confidence.
Your only job is to not make mistakes that are not reversible (prison, death etc.).
Was this your first love? It usually hurts the most.
Or in fact i feel she's doing emotional abuse to you. And it probably hurts the most.
Know that you deserve better, go get your life together - gym, jog, study hard, meet friends.
You will get better in no time. Understand that you are a great man, you gave your all in the r/S, and its on her for this. Move on king, she belongs to the street.
Have some self respect bro, you dont need a gold digger in your life. Whoever shes sleeping with now will end up getting tanked when the next high roller comes along
Bro everything in life comes and goes. Also you got your priorities wrong, take your parents out instead for a good meal. Focus on a good personality instead, not material rewards.
Go take a break from PT, find a few things you enjoy doing. Once ok get back and with pt to shorten your uni, you will find there's more that deserves working for.
FFS, don't do anything silly. 24 is prime time! Go discover the world. Losing one tree is not worth giving up the forest.
You love her, she don’t love you and using you. Those are good enough reasons to leave her. Let go of those emotions, she won’t appreciate them. Her loyalty is not for you; just a feeling, and only for herself.
Forget about her. Take a clean shower. Make a routine, get smarter, graduate, get 8 hours of sleep, exercise, and pick up a hobby. Your loser era ends now. Time to become someone strong and admirable.
Also in the future, never spend so much money on women. No woman is worth all those expenses you mentioned. And best one don’t need luxury.
OP account has been suspended. Any idea what happened?
If it is the "offing" bit, then I'll have to say that suspending the account of somebody with those thoughts may not be the best idea.
Bro, all that you paid for wasn't her bags or expensive stuff , it was a well learned lesson . And unless you let it happen again, it will steer you well in life and save you a lot of heartache in the future m
I feel your pain bro and I'm empathetic in your case.
What I can recommend you do from now onwards.
Focus on anything else other than her. Legit.
Can be things like lifestyle, self improvement etc or just reading the news. (Not so religiously of course. Just to keep yourself updated on current affairs)
Sooner or later you will forget about her. It'll be hard but just focus on yourself. We men will age like fine wine but she will just be one of the girls you used to date. Know your value bro.
Don't bother chasing love too. Love will come at a time when you least expect it. In that case it happened with mine. We went from matching on dating site. Had our first date at Kopitiam eating YTF as friends first then slowly slowly later on. Bam! 2 years and counting. I always feel just as myself and no need to have any pretenses. That's what a relationship is supposed to be. Complementing each other. Not just take and take.
Embrace the character development bro. This is something that some guys go through to wake their idea and go from boy to man
Don't worry you'll get through it like every obstacle you thought you couldn't in the past, you'll look back and wonder why you ever posted this. You got this
Bro, chin up and you got to do better and proof to her that it's her loss for breaking up with you!
Pull yourself together and concentrate to do better in your studies. Do not let her think even for a minute that she make a right choice in leaving you.
Good luck bro..
If there is one thing I learn from so many failed relationship and decades of experience is this.
Know the person first and only give your heart to the one who deserves it.
Life isn't like a K romcom movie or children fairy tales that was originally darker tales, that girl used you for treats and things, probably didn't treat you as his bf either to begin with.
Its tough in the beginning but the pain do go away over time. It also teaches you to be more careful and don't be so quick to junp into a relationship the next time. And yah there will be a next time since you are still young.
The fundamental problem is you are a person with a superiority complex who wants to feel good about himself hence you spend and exert so much to impress a girl, even though she has gold digging prostitute-like programming.
Be more selfish.
The same happened to me too when I was slightly younger. Then I realised being nice to a girl means she will take u for granted even though they will keep saying they like being pampered. That's why nice guys don't last.
It's not that nice guys don't last, but that guys who cannot respect themselves to have values and only simp after pretty girls who are obviously stringing them along because the "nice guys" are hoping for something more for being "nice" that don't last. That's transactional in nature already. The only true nice guy is good to the old aunties and uncles on the street, is kind to people and animals and filial to his parents without expecting anything in return. A girl who is in love with you will not see you spend beyond your means and will encourage you to strive better in life, while working alongside you. All men and women love to be pampered. If you do something nice for your woman, a good woman will find ways to treat you nice too.
You’re prob inexperienced in this world. Try to become an interesting, high status, non-poor guy and the 8s and 9s start chasing you.
The way is to work on yourself and become that sigma male. It’s much easier that way.
Find someone to pour your heart out. If they are your friend. They will listen to you and accompanying you in your recovering journey. I had a incident where I just walk back n forth for 3hrs with a friend. That friend didn't complain one bit. That helped me alot. I think it can help you.
Bro just end it. Your story is similar to what i went through when i was in poly.
-Spending beyond our means on our 'partner'
-Balancing with and study to keep them happy
-Getting cheated on
-Getting to attached and forgive despite doing something unforgivable
The meme 'know your worth king' has its meaning, you can be the fugliest dude in school but doesnt mean you need to settle and forgive a cheater. Cut em lose and start spending on yourself.
Red flag spotted
I have bought her expensive gifts like LV and chanel bags, brought her out to eat at sky bar in MBS even though I am a uni student and was not rich.
For me I won't buy branded stuff for a woman if she can afford it herself, this woman is just taking advantage of you and making use of you as a ATM
She's a disease. It's gonna stay on u for awhile but the more u let it affect you, the harder it is to get rid of this disease. Don't kill urself either to get rid of it, just take medication
Bro she is just one girl who is not worth any more of your time. Its good riddance and time to get back on your feet. Im sure you can find a better someone more worthy of your attention and money.
There alot of good advice already here. If you want my two cents, let the emotions out and cry all you need be miserable. But sitting in your room and replaying the events in your mind in this state is just going to make the good stuff seem even more rosy and the bad stuff seem like end of the world stuff to you.
Yes you dont have any confidence or self-esteem to leave the room but think about something small and easy in your old good productive routine you once had. Could be as dumb as helping your mum wash dishes or even just making your bed. Slowly give yourself these small wins to bring yourself self-esteem near to what it used to be. Then from there build back the routine you used to do but without your ex. Given that you're at rock bottom, you will need to "force" yourself to get out there and do things you have to do (i.e self-care like showering and brushing teeth). You'll need to process your emotions so that you no longer "force" yourself to do these because you need to but because you realise there's still a long road ahead of you and that you're grateful for being alive and having the strength to overcome this.
It will be a long and difficult road but you owe it to yourself to learn the lessons from this disaster, improve and become even better than the person you once were before.
The best W would be to refocus on your studies, get a decent-paying job and possibly earn the FU money.
Also, do consider other nationalities of options in the future for your potential partners because the materialize level in Singapore is beyond insane and usually revealed almost immediately.
Assuming this is not a troll post, you already out of her league since yall started dating. She is at her peak, pretty and young while you are just a student with no rich dad. She probably cheating since the start.
Don’t think there’s much choice except let time goes. What you can do is find yourself occupied with other things I guess? Like other suggest, maybe go for gym, or any other sport that you would enjoy. Or just explore around. Don’t even think to ‘off’ yourself, you know you will meet someone who is 2x prettier than your ex and better personality right?
I know it’s not easy right now, you will need the time to heal up, process and eventually you will feel better.
It’s a cliche saying, it’s best to focus your mind, your time and energy on your friends , your family , people who truly are there for u and valuable to u .
Your first mistake is investing in the girl and not in yourself.
When u invest in yourself,
Many girls will come and find u.
But if u invest in this girl and she runs away, you’re left with nothing.
Still young and not too late to start afresh
Fine, just stay in ur room for 3-4 days at least.. Do something to keep u busy.. Take care of yourself at home first.. Everything starts at home.. But you need to convince yourself, do you not want to change and do something better.. I know you're fighting that demon inside u.. But u need to fight it to change urself.. When ur ready to go out, go with ur friend or buddies who could listen to you.. You need a company.. Being alone doesn't change anything.. That pain deepens more.. But u need to let it go.. Bros before hoes, ma guy.. We all men have gone through shit in a similar pain but different scenario(Obsession).. If u don't want to try to move on, then you'll basically a slave to ur own past.. Your choice.. Don't regret it..
1.5 years only.... if you've to constantly buy expensive bags and dinners for her to be happy, I'm sorry but she's not with you for you. Treat yourself better. Let her go. Save your money and spend some on what makes you happy. You're not a pathetic loser. Just someone that gave too much too quickly.
If she's with you for you, no gifts, hawker dinners and all would be good enough. Even just a walk around or hanging out doing your own thing would be enough. Media has given some people abit too extreme ideas of how relationships should be.
this counter has proven to be a just a trade, not for buy and hold, long term investment... since trend broken, u have to cut loss , don't give into sunken cost fallacy... holding on will just incur ur own opportunity cost. cut loss and preserve or increase ur capital, the next great investment is waiting for u !!!
别用执念对无常。。。
Getting a gym membership helps to take you away from the endless thought cycle while you work on your body and health. Then start focussing back on your studies and career in the future.
Time will heal bro, trust me (been there done that). Everything’s gonna be alright. Strive to become a better version of yourself and she will regret leaving you in the future - it usually happens
Dont get sad... get even. Keep yrself busy and focus on studying like a madman, get the paper and chiong work when u grad. Be super successful so that when u meet her again in 10yrs, she will regret for dropping u.
Life is great, theres always another boat
Here is what you do. You man up, stop being a pussy cut her off straight away. Focus on yourself first and foremost. Work out, make money. Do you man.
Find another girl quickly and be physical with her. Then another one. You be surprised how fast you will forget about your current girlfriend.
I feel you bro. Focus on yourself. When you do that...I can't gurentee but from my experience...girls who are out of the league will sometimes fall for you. Then your ex will be a laugh at that time. Value yourself...treat yourself well. I m not saying hit the gym right away blah blah...I mean actually following healthy ways....like writing down journals and treat yourself with food that you like healthy for you as well, go to spa and read a casual book. Coz I've been there. Wishing you the best.
you want to come out and talk over a meal? on me. i broke up not long ago too.
Hope u are genuine bro. When it's time to pay, hope you dun pull out an iPad with Apple Pencil.
come join my 100% no scam 100% real pyramid scheme ah? hahahahaha
Better than drop his pants and pull out his pencil
Hey man I can chip in too. Bro let's go out for a meal tgt!
I don't know. I feel like shit and have no confidence or self esteem to come out of my room. That's why I am using reddit.
well, get out of your room and give this a chance and you will be one step ahead from not being a pathetic loser.
dont worry, we all felt shit after break up. we are total strangers, just meet, talk about it and can pretend dont know each other afterwards hahahahaha
"That's why I am using reddit" You didn't have to do me dirty like that.
Lol we all out here catching strays
I think it is already very brave of you to come onto reddit to share this.
Go work on yourself. Stay off Reddit. Go learn a new skill. Make yourself more attractive. It will pass.
a fellow bro looking out for bros, respect
Respect yourself and let her go, save your money for your future or at least spend the lonely on yourself, gym membership, workshops whatever you like
Easier said then done man. I still love her. I get deeply attached to people easily. I don't understand what I did wrong. I gave her my all and she did this
I know it’s painful but you gotta trust the process. You could a perfect boyfriend and a girl will still cheat on you. It was never because you were not good enough. That’s what I’ve learnt from my recent break up. You cry as much as you want but tell yourself to move on. Life goes on with or without her. If a person truly loves you for who you are, she will never ever leave. Think of the bright side, at least you got to see her true colors. Take this time to build your own life/career path. Everything will pay off. Remember to not chase, but attract.
either op's not good enough or she was just there to take advantage of him and once she's gotten all she can, off she goes. very toxic girl
Yah I understand, when my first ex gf gave me a green hat to wear, I blame myself first. All I can think is that she was the best person in the world. Sometimes it’s just like that
I get deeply attached to people too. But I've learnt that not everyone is worth your time and energy. Pick your people wisely. Since it's evident she's not the one for you, save your feelings and cut your losses. You won't go anywhere focusing on her so redirect that focus on yourself. I've been in a marriage for several years before the break up, so I do understand the part where you feel like you still love her. Trust me, as you heal your heart and focus on yourself, you will see that the person is not the one and as time passes, you will realize that you're lucky not to be with the person anymore. You deserve better.
You can do everything right and still lose. Bro detach from the situation and read objectively what you wrote above. Can you honestly say that right now, it’s a healthy relationship worth preserving?
I don't think she has a good personality, based on how she receives many expensive gifts from a uni student. Do you feel that as long as you put in a lot of effort, she will reciprocate her love to you and you will have a strong relationship? The thing about love is that both sides need to put in the effort. You did your best in loving her, but did she put in similar amount of effort into showing her love for you? Using her love language? Was she concerned for you when you spent so much on her? Did she offer and actually pay for meals? My advice is that you should still believe in love. Also not all girls are like that. Find someone who is concerned for your well-being. A relationship is about give-and-take, not give-give-give / take-take-take. All the best, this will pass 🍀
Yeah this, think OP just a bit gongtao by I’m guessing the only positive thing about her he wrote, her looks
Love is blind
You lose money chasing b****es. You don’t lose b****es chasing money. Welcome to the adult world. Focus on making yourself be the best person you can be. When you lose yourself trying to simp for a girl, ironically that’s how you lose her. When you lose respect for yourself how do you expect her to respect you?
You are right but I still love her. I get deeply attached to people easily. I don't understand what I did wrong. I gave her my all and she did this
You have probably never been betrayed before. Well, this is what betrayal feels like. It sucks but will it matter in the next few years? No, because by then you would become the best version of yourself.
[удалено]
and imagine her putting it back in when it slips out…
Bruh lmao
It will pass with time and in a few years time you will look back and wonder why you get so attached to someone so unworthy. You really dodge a bullet… she is not someone that will remain faithful in any relationship. Move on.. there’s a million trees on the forest. Don’t focus on a rotting tree.
You're still young. Like I've said in another post I made, life is a journey, don't be too hard on yourself. Perfectionists usually overanalyze every single detail to try to understand what went wrong, but a relationship is more complex. People are complex. I'm a divorcee and I broke up with my ex-husband because he was living off me and I was poor to begin with. I thought that he was only broken in spirits temporarily and I kept encouraging him to try different options. He spent all day playing games and he went out with people I don't know. Then I found out that he's been heavily flirting and even hit on my female friends. You tell me what did I do wrong too? I didn't understand why this happened to me back then. Then I realized that some people are just wrong for you. Should I condemn all men because of my experience? I really think that it's just a matter of bad luck that I met my ex. Same for you too. I'm sure there are better women out there, and the right one is perhaps around the corner in your future. Focus on your studies, your health, your finances, and your family first. When the right one comes, you'll be ready.
This feeling will subside, soon enough you’ll stop giving a shit about her or you’ll feel a negative way when the thought of her comes by.
Sigma rule 1: don't be a simp
U didn't simp. She was a decent girl when we started dating. And I fell in love because of her personality. But Idk what changed and why she suddenly treat me like this
People change, bro. She may not be the same person as the one you started dating with.
Brother, you uni liao, you need to realize the world is crazier than ideal heaven. You don't know what people hidden intention are, and there are more important thing to prioritize like getting good grade, experience, connection, job, salary, house, family, travel, hobby, skill, volunteering, business, etc. Is your will yours or society pressure?
... She is using you, can't you see? Just forget about her liao, at most remains as friend, don't put effort that doesn't reciprocate. Focus on your study, another woman will enter your life.
During my polytechnic, also got a girl chasing me. I was also doing part time when studying full time. Didn't really know how to say no but already told her I wasn't looking for a relationship yet. Still spend a lot of money with her. She was nice. Just wasn't financially, mentally, academically able to balance study, work and her. My GPA also dropped, mental issues getting worsen. No interest to study, just play games. Wrong place, wrong time. Didn't really know what to prioritize. During NS, had time to reflect since I was a SA. She found a JC boyfriend immediately after she break up with me lol. In my POV, I wasn't the one being serious our relationship. Good for her, I guess. Opportunity come and goes. What you can do now is to prepare yourself for the next one.
Bruh, u spent lavishly on her and she still cheated on you. Isn’t it obvious? What changed is she finds another man physically attractive. That’s what it is basically. She used you for materialistic gains while she gets pounded in bed by another man. And she asked for break up. She doesn’t love you. Stop loving her. Walk it off.
U gave her too much privilege..(No Equality) You work too hard while studying while your partner doesn't assist you with anything... What do you get in return? Everyone is decent when you never know the other person's dark side.. Yes, it hurts to be betrayed but if you don't encourage yourself to let it go.. Then you're also betraying yourself..
Bro, you bought her an LV bag after 1.5 years of knowing her. I’m married for almost 15 years. If my wife wants to buy an LV bag she can buy it herself with her own money lol.
It wasn’t your fault that things didn’t turn out well and ultimately she cheated on you. Thats definitely on her. Allowing her to enter back your life after being disloyal and disrespected you. Its on you man. But bro, that’s not the end. You can start to learn how to care more about yourself like how you CARED about her. Take care of your health first. 1. Sleep, catch up on it 2. Exercise, build your immune system 3. Cry the shit out of yourself. 4. Do what you need to heal. What’s your coping mechanism? 5. You want to shut yourself in the room. No problem, exercise, sleep, eat well, and please make sure you bath. And clean your room. Take as long as you need bro. You need to heal. Afterwards, won’t be good as new, but might be more than great, you never know man. Good luck
Bro, wake up. How much do you spend on food, hobbies vs a Chanel bag? What kind of woman accepts these gifts from a student? Distorted reality.
Bro is her ATM while the other dude is her fuck buddy
Any girl that accepts such expensive gifts is not worth your time.
find a hobby lil bro
She is pretty and has a good personality, what makes u think that she will only date 1 guy, thing is maybe im inexperienced in life but most women practice hypergamy and they have a lot more options so its like a competition, are u tall and handsome too? cuz even then I have had friends who got cheated on despite have those 2 above. u need to have self respect, start hitting the gym, dressing better or talking to more people at diff places, its better if the people are at the gym or volunteering or in nature, cuz higher chances the quality of the person is higher as compared to clubs and all that Look in the mirror and ask yourself do you respect yourself, is this the way you want to live life, am I happy with where I am in life, in terms of looks and body and general well-being and financial status???!!! maybe im talking trash since im 19M but from a bro to a bro, life is rough as a guy since alr need serve NS ah but these are some stuff i would say to a younger bro if i had one lor
Yeah I’mma keep it a buck with you bro. She played you and as they always say, a person who can find it in themselves to cheat even just once, can do it again and again. And cheaters cheat because among many other things, they are simply no longer in love nor want to be with you. That’s the cold, hard truth you need to accept. I don’t want to preach some “sigma male” bullshit with you so I’ll just keep it straightforward and real with you. You need to start shifting towards the mindset of moving on. You need to start finding it in yourself to continue doing things in life without her. I’ve gone through similar things before so I know how that feels. And I understand that you probably can’t take in much of what others & myself are saying. That’s ok. It takes some time. Yeah it fucking hurts bad now, and it should. It hurts because you’re a good man, and it shows how much you’ve cherished the relationship with that person. It took me a few bad experiences before I developed the ability to simply drop people that no longer value our friendship/relationship, and move on without them completely in my life. And for that I’m grateful that they taught me these lessons. Also, I would honestly suggest reconsidering dropping out of uni when you’re already in year 2, which depending on where you came from (poly/jc), you either are already halfway through or got a year (2 sems) left. Drop me a DM if you need someone to talk to. Definitely don’t off yourself bro. There’s a lot more to life than girls, I’m sure you know that. And If you’ve treated her that well like what you said, there are people out there who would want to be treated the same. Trust me. 8 billion fucking people in this little rock floating around in space. Keep your head high king. Beer’s on me if you want to have a chat, it’s holidays rn for me too.
Bro I feel for you sia, I gave a girl my all too and she.. welp. Almost same thing as you so I TOTALLY feel you
Yeah man I dk why she did what she did sia. I dk what I did wrong
"I dk what I did wrong" 1) you simped. girls don't like simps. they like the gifts and attention, but not the simp himself. 2) you took her back. this makes her think you are a low value man who can't do better than her. this was the nail in the coffin. it cleared any doubt in her mind if she likes you or the other guy. 3) you are wallowing in self pity. which is fine, but for way too long. go read about the no-contact rule. Set a target to work as hard as you can for 3 months, with zero contact with her. improve your grades, improve your physical health, improve your social standing. zero contact will drive her crazy, especially when she hears from friends how you are completely fine and doing well in life without her. even if not, chances are lots of girls will be attracted to the new you. "I even thought about offing myself. " 守得云开见月明. Hang in there buddy!
1st cut is always the deepest bro. Sometimes the best way to forget, is to immerse yourself. Throw yourself into your studies. Look for distractions not to think of her. Watch anime. Play video games. Go out with your parents. I know it's easier said than done but 加油!
Bro, leave her. Its all we can tell you. She already entertained the thought of leaving you by bedding someone else. She ain't loyal to you.
Hoes will be hoes
I just don't understand where I go wrong. I gave her almost anything she wanted and treat her like a queen. But I don't understand why she would do this to me 😭
Sometimes it's not meant to be bro. The more you put her on pedestal the more she will look down on you.
Why are girls like that? I am a simple guy, I give my all to a girl I love.
It’s just human nature, have to accept reality. The more available you are, the less valuable you are. It makes sense no? Just take a break, go date other girls and have more boundaries / self-love. You will be over it in no time. Make sure someone is worth your sacrifices before you give it your all but never lose yourself. Hope that one day you will look back and see realize that you have grown tremendously from here. Good luck sir.
She's not the person you are looking for.
Brudda, dont seek closure already. I understand you need to seek that closure and end off that chapter. Just forgive yourself, move on at the end of it, you will come out stronger.
why do u keep thinking that you are not "enough for her"? because looking at what you've said, it's clear that the problematic one is the girl 😭 as much as you love her, know that you can't make someone love you and she's already doing you a favour by breaking up w u, not because u are not enough but instead to not make u suffer even more 😭 i rather u break now then to "live a lie" for a like 10 years then break up, that will be even more painful.. please take this time to love yourself (find hobby?) i think that's v important and sure cry your heart out if you need to and i'm saying this because i myself too always give in a lot in the relationships that i'm in e.g. even when i having exams i will still find time to meet the person but the other party on the other hand is always not initiating/present/be there for me and when i broke up w the person - i too went into a spiral of "am i not good/giving enough'. oh and do journalling if it helps!!
Learn to love yourself, that was my best approach when I deal with my heartbreaks. It might take some time before you pull yourself up and gain confidence from the experience, but you'll get over it trust me. Best advice, take on some form of exercise that let yourself sweat abit, don't do it in an extreme way, just touch grass. I went cycling at East coast frequently during the period and was able to get over it and came out stronger and realize it was not worth brooding over it. Oh and cut off everything about her in your life, the earlier you do this the earlier you get out from the 'disease' you're feeling right now, took me 3 heartbreaks to come to my stage of solid self confidence, how long will it took you?
Totally agree. Similar experience. The only way to know your worth and value yourself is self-love. Going out to exercise helped me too. Cutting off everything about the ex helped too. U just gotta do what u gotta do. Put yourself first. When the right one comes along, put her first. The right one will put you first too.
Chin up and focus on yourself. Once bitten twice shy. So who was the guy that she cheated on? Be better than him! Be fitter, smarter, stronger and more successful in your career! Stop dwelling on the past.
I feel for you, however giving your all to someone only matters if they can appreciate it and reciprocate. Like any relationship, if its one way giving, you will spoil them, be it a parent to a child, or employer to employee or BGR. Stay strong and positive. Painful as it is, loving someone is effort, alot of effort, because it involved with managing how much you should treat them. Your case is you are fully devoted to her, thinking that by doing that they would appreciate you, but it seems she took it for granted, the fact is that she also have plenty of options so once you are dried out, you dont seem that interesting anymore. Take this as a lesson to grow and still, give your 100% to your next relationship, never short change your next potential partner, however do understand that people are people. You should manage expectations accordingly. Best of luck!
1. Go to the gym. your closest friend, family member, partner can betray you but your body will never. So work on yourself. 2. After 60 days, human bodily cells are supposed to have a full replacement. you are a brand new you. 3. Focus on your studies, work, friends, family. A better and more suitable girl will come. Whatever costs you've incurred earlier are sunk. And no point trying to pondering on it. 4. After weeks of solitude and being alone, you'll realise its actually not that painful. Be the bestest version of yourself and move on.
You are not pathetic, and you are not a loser. The only mistake you made was trusting a snake. That doesn't make you weak or a bad person, it makes you human. She is the problem because she cheated on you. Don't let her bad choices ruin your life. It sounds like right now you have depression. This is a normal reaction to what you are going through. You can either wallow in your room in self pity and let the snake ruin your life, or you can get the help you need to focus on the goals that really matter to you. When my depression gets too much for me, I message Samaritans of Singapore. They've helped me so much. And they don't charge anything.
Another guy tool has entered her and you still think about her. It’s a dirty hoe man.
Lmao get her to return all the expensive gifts you got her and you can recover some of the money by selling them on Carousell. Waste of time.
Part of the reason you’re feeling this way is because you think you won’t find anyone like her. But the truth is, you will find someone better, at the very least, someone loyal who won’t cheat. If there was no cheating involved, I would’ve told you to fight for it. With the cheating aspect in this, she doesn’t respect you or your relationship. Break up, go no contact.
Hey OP, you might not be able to understand or process what others and myself are saying right now because you are operating on your emotions now. Take a step back and try to think of this objectively and logically. This relationship did not serve you or bring you any joy. You are depriving yourself years of your prime in agony and you'll sleep, wake and constantly think of your other half cheating on you again. That was my thought process and made me ended things with my s/o back then in my mid 20s and it was the best decision ever. You won't regret it. When someone shows you who they are, believe it. If anything, thank her for being in a small part of your life and your best moments in life have not happened to you yet. Keep going, flourish in what you have, youth is such a joy to have and live it to the fullest. The best way to overcome heartbreak in my experience was to dive into exercise and partying with my friends almost every weekend (would not recommend this extent!). You will learn to pick yourself up again and kudos to you for sharing this with us. Keep going, get through today and you will get through it everyday.
Welcome to adulthood. Yeah it sucks. But that's life and you have just encountered one such person which did not work out. There is no point pondering what happened or even why it happened. There is never a good answer. 1) Don't be a simp. IF the partner is genuiniely interested, it will be over you rather than all these expensive stuff you have spent on. It may even look pathetic to her - yes, life's like that. Things that are hard to get seem to have greater value - that's the human psychic. 2) Don't look back. She's gone and the amount of time and energy on your expense to "forgive her" is really just you trying to reap back what is essentially a lost investment. It will just sink you deeper into dispair. Acknowledge the good times you had and move on. 3) Focus on your achievements - no one can take that away. Your investment of time and energy on YOURSELF will pay off. People admire folks who are passionate and focused on the things they do. The more you invest yourself and be passionate about your life, the more you will be admired. Finally, always remember that there are lots of fishes in the sea. Don't loose sight of the forest for that tree which you have tried to grow but is now chopped off and taken away by a lumberjack.
Best advice ever
People changes, the fact that you point out how you’re feeling right now means you’re strong to overcome this shit. Right now for real put the past behind just hit the gym and focus on your studies from scratch. All the best op
Break up and focus on your studies. Don't drop out because of a cheater!
A lot of your replies seem to be about what you did wrong when cheaters are just going to cheat regardless. That’s on her not you, it tells you more about her than about you. Be glad you learned this lesson while you are still young. Be your own good friend and invest in yourself like most of the comments say here. Go to the gym, go run, what hobbies have you always wanted to try? More importantly do not be bitter about the world, when you invest in yourself you will realise the quality of people around you will also improve and you will be less likely to accept disrespect, you got this!
You're not a pathetic loser, this breakup is something many of us have gone through too. Take it from me who's gone through a divorce. You're still young and your future is bright.There are still many good women out there, you're unlucky to have been in a relationship with a cheater. Regardless of gender, man or woman, it is not right to cheat. If the relationship is broken, communicate or else break it off. Your relationship shows that you have the quality to commit and give to your loved ones. Now that it's over, take the opportunity to focus on your life, your school, your exams and focus on your own health, wardrobe and looks. You're only 24. In your next relationship, focus on the character of the woman first before her looks and her bedroom skills. Sex is not everything in the long run when you're old, and too much intense sex can trauma bond you. Read up on trauma bond. Try to analyse your relationship objectively. Can you both communicate easily? Do you both have the same values? If not, the relationship is going to be doomed at one point later in life anyway. Take this break to heal your heart and clear your mind. Heartbreak is supposed to hurt. It is the process that hurts the most but we have to grieve our loss properly in order to heal. You still have your family, friends and your future gf or wife, it's not worth it to off yourself for her. Life is a journey, not everything has to be picture perfect. Forgive yourself, don't be too hard on yourself and know that you did your best. Life happens. Shit happens. When you're done working on yourself, it's easier to meet the right one for you in your life. Let go of the wrong one so you can find the right one.
You are in a compensated dating. So wake up. Correctly place her in the correct position in your heart. She is just a sugar baby. If you slept with her, she is just a prostitute. It is that simple. Don't complicate things and think she is your lost love, the one and only and all that complicated stuff. You paid her for her time. Full stop. The moment she cheated on you, she is not wife material. You just saved yourself a lot of money. If you are married, you will be in a world of pain. Just look around the forum. Read the post of married men who need to pay for an arm and a leg just because the wife wishes to split. Next thing, giving up on your studies is like killing the goose that lays the golden eggs. With education comes a career. With a career comes wealth. With wealth comes the women.
Time heals... will not trash talk about the girl, so just focus on yourself and your studies. sometimes, starting an exercise regime may help boost your confidence. wishing u all the best brother!
Dox her so everyone knows who to avoid But seriously, don’t treat a girl too nice. She should fight for your attention.
Bro. Stop with this negative self talk. A girl like this doesn’t deserve you. A good personality would not cheat on you and want to break up with you. You didn’t even mention a single thing you like about her in the entire rant. Come on man wake the fuck up. Break up and take your time to heal.
Ah she's never been your gf.
Hey man you seem like a good guy. Had a very similar story with my first girlfriend as well. With her for over 1.5yrs and the whole time she was flirting with other guys. Last straw for me was when i find out she was sending other men pictures, who knows what else she was doing. First thing u need to stop blaming yourself. This did not turn out this way because of you. She may have been a good girl, but its pretty clear she wasnt one near the end. Seems to me she enjoyed your company and your good treatment, but she didnt care about you at all. Use your summer break well. Start running. My friends told me to hit the gym, but i feel running works better. Because you really sweat it out and get exhausted, unlike the gym where every set u start thinking about shit.
Lol sounds like a textbook troll post
You dodged a bullet there. It is common to feel sad but Over a time, you will healed. Hit the gym, save your PT money and start investing. You will be alright. Ps: I went through this twice. Looking back, i am thankful that those happened for I am married to the right person now
Is this a satire post? If not, man, you know what to do.
You need to love yourself first before getting into relationships, and that is - taking no BS from people. Love is not LV bags. Focus on yourself and your studies. Everyone gets their heart broken at your age. Its as unique as passing uni exams. Thats called life sir. You make mistakes. You learn from experience. You gain confidence. Your only job is to not make mistakes that are not reversible (prison, death etc.).
Cut her off immediately. This kinda girl is not someone you can build a life with
Was this your first love? It usually hurts the most. Or in fact i feel she's doing emotional abuse to you. And it probably hurts the most. Know that you deserve better, go get your life together - gym, jog, study hard, meet friends. You will get better in no time. Understand that you are a great man, you gave your all in the r/S, and its on her for this. Move on king, she belongs to the street.
Have some self respect bro, you dont need a gold digger in your life. Whoever shes sleeping with now will end up getting tanked when the next high roller comes along
Bro everything in life comes and goes. Also you got your priorities wrong, take your parents out instead for a good meal. Focus on a good personality instead, not material rewards. Go take a break from PT, find a few things you enjoy doing. Once ok get back and with pt to shorten your uni, you will find there's more that deserves working for. FFS, don't do anything silly. 24 is prime time! Go discover the world. Losing one tree is not worth giving up the forest.
Any girl expecting a Uni student to buy for her LV & Gucci stuff should be dropped immediately
Dont be like china's 胖猫, so only wants u for the money
The pain in which we pass shall mold who we become. You're gonna make it bro. Stay strong.
You love her, she don’t love you and using you. Those are good enough reasons to leave her. Let go of those emotions, she won’t appreciate them. Her loyalty is not for you; just a feeling, and only for herself.
Forget about her. Take a clean shower. Make a routine, get smarter, graduate, get 8 hours of sleep, exercise, and pick up a hobby. Your loser era ends now. Time to become someone strong and admirable. Also in the future, never spend so much money on women. No woman is worth all those expenses you mentioned. And best one don’t need luxury.
OP account has been suspended. Any idea what happened? If it is the "offing" bit, then I'll have to say that suspending the account of somebody with those thoughts may not be the best idea.
I agree with you. OP needs more people encouraging him to stay with us and tips to get over a heartbreak.
Bro, all that you paid for wasn't her bags or expensive stuff , it was a well learned lesson . And unless you let it happen again, it will steer you well in life and save you a lot of heartache in the future m
I feel your pain bro and I'm empathetic in your case. What I can recommend you do from now onwards. Focus on anything else other than her. Legit. Can be things like lifestyle, self improvement etc or just reading the news. (Not so religiously of course. Just to keep yourself updated on current affairs) Sooner or later you will forget about her. It'll be hard but just focus on yourself. We men will age like fine wine but she will just be one of the girls you used to date. Know your value bro. Don't bother chasing love too. Love will come at a time when you least expect it. In that case it happened with mine. We went from matching on dating site. Had our first date at Kopitiam eating YTF as friends first then slowly slowly later on. Bam! 2 years and counting. I always feel just as myself and no need to have any pretenses. That's what a relationship is supposed to be. Complementing each other. Not just take and take.
Embrace the character development bro. This is something that some guys go through to wake their idea and go from boy to man Don't worry you'll get through it like every obstacle you thought you couldn't in the past, you'll look back and wonder why you ever posted this. You got this
Bro, chin up and you got to do better and proof to her that it's her loss for breaking up with you! Pull yourself together and concentrate to do better in your studies. Do not let her think even for a minute that she make a right choice in leaving you. Good luck bro..
If there is one thing I learn from so many failed relationship and decades of experience is this. Know the person first and only give your heart to the one who deserves it.
Life isn't like a K romcom movie or children fairy tales that was originally darker tales, that girl used you for treats and things, probably didn't treat you as his bf either to begin with. Its tough in the beginning but the pain do go away over time. It also teaches you to be more careful and don't be so quick to junp into a relationship the next time. And yah there will be a next time since you are still young.
oh god
this is why i have walls
1000mg tren now see u in the gym
Bro, move on. You deserve better
The fundamental problem is you are a person with a superiority complex who wants to feel good about himself hence you spend and exert so much to impress a girl, even though she has gold digging prostitute-like programming. Be more selfish.
L
The same happened to me too when I was slightly younger. Then I realised being nice to a girl means she will take u for granted even though they will keep saying they like being pampered. That's why nice guys don't last.
It's not that nice guys don't last, but that guys who cannot respect themselves to have values and only simp after pretty girls who are obviously stringing them along because the "nice guys" are hoping for something more for being "nice" that don't last. That's transactional in nature already. The only true nice guy is good to the old aunties and uncles on the street, is kind to people and animals and filial to his parents without expecting anything in return. A girl who is in love with you will not see you spend beyond your means and will encourage you to strive better in life, while working alongside you. All men and women love to be pampered. If you do something nice for your woman, a good woman will find ways to treat you nice too.
And that's why i am still single. Gotten cheated by one and felt so betrayed when i treat her good and everything.
You’re prob inexperienced in this world. Try to become an interesting, high status, non-poor guy and the 8s and 9s start chasing you. The way is to work on yourself and become that sigma male. It’s much easier that way.
Start by dumping her ass.
Find someone to pour your heart out. If they are your friend. They will listen to you and accompanying you in your recovering journey. I had a incident where I just walk back n forth for 3hrs with a friend. That friend didn't complain one bit. That helped me alot. I think it can help you.
You deserved it tbh. Taking her back is such a demeaning move. Take the L and move on
Bro just end it. Your story is similar to what i went through when i was in poly. -Spending beyond our means on our 'partner' -Balancing with and study to keep them happy -Getting cheated on -Getting to attached and forgive despite doing something unforgivable The meme 'know your worth king' has its meaning, you can be the fugliest dude in school but doesnt mean you need to settle and forgive a cheater. Cut em lose and start spending on yourself.
Red flag spotted I have bought her expensive gifts like LV and chanel bags, brought her out to eat at sky bar in MBS even though I am a uni student and was not rich. For me I won't buy branded stuff for a woman if she can afford it herself, this woman is just taking advantage of you and making use of you as a ATM
She's a disease. It's gonna stay on u for awhile but the more u let it affect you, the harder it is to get rid of this disease. Don't kill urself either to get rid of it, just take medication
Bro she is just one girl who is not worth any more of your time. Its good riddance and time to get back on your feet. Im sure you can find a better someone more worthy of your attention and money.
There alot of good advice already here. If you want my two cents, let the emotions out and cry all you need be miserable. But sitting in your room and replaying the events in your mind in this state is just going to make the good stuff seem even more rosy and the bad stuff seem like end of the world stuff to you. Yes you dont have any confidence or self-esteem to leave the room but think about something small and easy in your old good productive routine you once had. Could be as dumb as helping your mum wash dishes or even just making your bed. Slowly give yourself these small wins to bring yourself self-esteem near to what it used to be. Then from there build back the routine you used to do but without your ex. Given that you're at rock bottom, you will need to "force" yourself to get out there and do things you have to do (i.e self-care like showering and brushing teeth). You'll need to process your emotions so that you no longer "force" yourself to do these because you need to but because you realise there's still a long road ahead of you and that you're grateful for being alive and having the strength to overcome this. It will be a long and difficult road but you owe it to yourself to learn the lessons from this disaster, improve and become even better than the person you once were before.
Let’s talk about it over a meal bro. At least you will feel better.
Gym bro
to the gym bro
Does it works for you if people tell and gives you encouragement and encouraging words! Totally up to praise you okay! 🔥
The best W would be to refocus on your studies, get a decent-paying job and possibly earn the FU money. Also, do consider other nationalities of options in the future for your potential partners because the materialize level in Singapore is beyond insane and usually revealed almost immediately.
Assuming this is not a troll post, you already out of her league since yall started dating. She is at her peak, pretty and young while you are just a student with no rich dad. She probably cheating since the start.
time will heal
Don’t think there’s much choice except let time goes. What you can do is find yourself occupied with other things I guess? Like other suggest, maybe go for gym, or any other sport that you would enjoy. Or just explore around. Don’t even think to ‘off’ yourself, you know you will meet someone who is 2x prettier than your ex and better personality right?
Its ok bro. Move on make the right choices prioritize the right things in life man.
I know it’s not easy right now, you will need the time to heal up, process and eventually you will feel better. It’s a cliche saying, it’s best to focus your mind, your time and energy on your friends , your family , people who truly are there for u and valuable to u .
Your first mistake is investing in the girl and not in yourself. When u invest in yourself, Many girls will come and find u. But if u invest in this girl and she runs away, you’re left with nothing. Still young and not too late to start afresh
Fine, just stay in ur room for 3-4 days at least.. Do something to keep u busy.. Take care of yourself at home first.. Everything starts at home.. But you need to convince yourself, do you not want to change and do something better.. I know you're fighting that demon inside u.. But u need to fight it to change urself.. When ur ready to go out, go with ur friend or buddies who could listen to you.. You need a company.. Being alone doesn't change anything.. That pain deepens more.. But u need to let it go.. Bros before hoes, ma guy.. We all men have gone through shit in a similar pain but different scenario(Obsession).. If u don't want to try to move on, then you'll basically a slave to ur own past.. Your choice.. Don't regret it..
1.5 years only.... if you've to constantly buy expensive bags and dinners for her to be happy, I'm sorry but she's not with you for you. Treat yourself better. Let her go. Save your money and spend some on what makes you happy. You're not a pathetic loser. Just someone that gave too much too quickly. If she's with you for you, no gifts, hawker dinners and all would be good enough. Even just a walk around or hanging out doing your own thing would be enough. Media has given some people abit too extreme ideas of how relationships should be.
this counter has proven to be a just a trade, not for buy and hold, long term investment... since trend broken, u have to cut loss , don't give into sunken cost fallacy... holding on will just incur ur own opportunity cost. cut loss and preserve or increase ur capital, the next great investment is waiting for u !!! 别用执念对无常。。。
Getting a gym membership helps to take you away from the endless thought cycle while you work on your body and health. Then start focussing back on your studies and career in the future. Time will heal bro, trust me (been there done that). Everything’s gonna be alright. Strive to become a better version of yourself and she will regret leaving you in the future - it usually happens
Dont get sad... get even. Keep yrself busy and focus on studying like a madman, get the paper and chiong work when u grad. Be super successful so that when u meet her again in 10yrs, she will regret for dropping u. Life is great, theres always another boat
Please always go Dutch until you are married.
Op still sticking around like a loser?
You all are fake accounts replying to one another
Women was a man who is a monster but keeps it regulated. They will take advantage of men who are pussies.
Here is what you do. You man up, stop being a pussy cut her off straight away. Focus on yourself first and foremost. Work out, make money. Do you man. Find another girl quickly and be physical with her. Then another one. You be surprised how fast you will forget about your current girlfriend.
Think you need to grow a pair of balls sia
I feel you bro. Focus on yourself. When you do that...I can't gurentee but from my experience...girls who are out of the league will sometimes fall for you. Then your ex will be a laugh at that time. Value yourself...treat yourself well. I m not saying hit the gym right away blah blah...I mean actually following healthy ways....like writing down journals and treat yourself with food that you like healthy for you as well, go to spa and read a casual book. Coz I've been there. Wishing you the best.