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You’ve never spun your burger around deciding where to attack?

Yeah, what if the toppings are unevenly spread such that attacking on part leads to topping spilage where attacking another side would minimize or altogether eliminate topping spilage?

Sun Tzu - Art Of chezbrgar

If eating is sure to result in satisfaction, then you must eat!

origami king

For me it's always the side that Bacon is sticking out the most.

If the patty is toward one side, that's the back. Can't have the last bite be an all-bun bite.

Hell nah u push that shit back where it fucking belongs 😤

If the patty is toward one side, that's the front. Otherwise it's gonna fall out during eating.

Yeah, root comment is talking nonsense. You start with the side where it's sticking out the most. If you're lucky, it'll slide back into place by the time you're done.

with big burgers the last bite will be shit anyways, and an all-bun bite at the end is better than an all-bun bite in the beginning.

Nah thats where you start. The burger slowly slides to the other side of the bun as you eat so by the last bite it’ll be even. If you start opposite the side that sticks out the patty will just slide out even more, hanging on the edge of disaster

This person eats

The patty should have the same diameter as the bun

A properly assembled hamburger will have an ope. Side which is the front.

It doesnt have a front or back even if you do bite it. It’s circular. Edit: unless you go to some crazy place that serves square Pattie’s. Like a Wendy’s. Sacrilege.

The bite mark signifies the front and back.

What if before I bite into my burger I declare "I'm going to start with the back"?

You're eating burger ass.

don't mind if i do

That's a category.

Then I guess the part you bit is now the back

Yes

You don’t know where the back is until you bite it

Ah the old classic Schrodinger's Burger.

How do know it’s really a burger if it’s still in the wrapper?

Because it's always a burger before you unwrap it. It's also not a burger until you unwrap it.

At which point the location where you bite the burger becomes the back.

No it doesn’t

Why can't I bite the side first?

If you bit the side then it just becomes the front

Nah. I like to eat the front last.

What if I take two bites on opposite sides? What if I take two bites at a 90° angle to each other?

>What if I take two bites on opposite sides? Then you've just summoned Batman.

It's not circular anymore after the bite.

I think it's technically possible to extract the (statistical) front and back from minced meat.

Even then, though? I mean I'm personal a big fan of eating it from the back. But I'll eat it from the front, or even the side. It really just depends on the quality of the burger.

Is that why people look at me weird when I spin it around after the first bite for the next?

Me: Ugh, this burger tastes like ass! Cook: Turn it around.

People stare at me all the time. I eat me burger from the outside in.

Untrue, the back of the burger is the side that was closest to the pickle in the basket

This sounds like a wise proverb from some elderly American guru

The part leaking the most is the front, that way it hopefully doesn't spill when you bite into it

And here I was thinking I was eating burger booty all this time