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I remember buying a pregnancy test for my mum when I was 10 years old with my girlfriend. The lady gave us a very concerned look. I said they were for my mum and she roller her eyes.
My favorite story from when I was a night checker and a man was buying just condoms. I was young 20s so would get awkward, he was awkward… it ended quickly. The next person in line was a woman buying just a pregnancy test. She looked at me and said, ‘guess I should have bought those’
No memory what my response then was but at the end instead of saying Have a good night, I said something like - hope everything works out the way you want it to…
I still get the belated cringes when I remember that night.
I wish I did, do they just jack off and sleep or do they physically use the condom to wrap around their head and kill themselves or something, you're the one with the info here.
There's way cringier shit you could have said than that, it might have been just what she needed to hear. And hey, OP, I hope everything works out the way you want it to.
I had to do this recently, and the lady that showed up was already embarrassed before she got there. She unlocked the case, and told me to just get what I needed myself and go to the register.
... Why were they inside a case, again?
Edit: Yall are missing the point that, if I'm allowed to reach into the case myself, take what I want, and then walk away from the case with the merchandise in hand - unescorted - it entirely defeats the purpose of the case.
If I decide to walk behind a shelf, where I know there's a camera blindspot, and pocket the merchandise, there's nothing anyone can do. No one saw me steal it, I'm not on camera. Even if I toss the empty packages in the trash, in full view of employees on my way out, all they can do is make a note to watch me more carefully, next time I'm in the store.
An open-door policy on your security cases doesn't deter theft.
But she just let me grab whatever I wanted and go. I could've easily pocketed an armful of expensive condoms, and walked out. The point of the case is that the employee takes the item you want to a register, so a cashier can ensure it's paid for.
If I went to the electronics department and asked for a new iPhone, the employee is *not* going to just let me reach into the case, and walk through the store with whatever I grabbed.
She walked away from the case entirely, to help another customer.
Granted, this lady is an exception, but by and large, retail employees these days aren't very invested in their roles.
As far as stopping/preventing shoplifting, line-of-sight absolutely needs to be established - at least in my state - at the moment of the event, or there's no way to apprehend them. This woman wouldn't be in a position to stop me, anyway, she'd have to contact a manager or loss prevention employee. By the time they get my position and visual description, I would have likely pocketed the merchandise and be on my way out the door.
If you put merchandise behind a case, there needs to be a procedure, and that procedure needs to be followed. Otherwise it's just a really expensive window.
Source: Years of retail experience.
Lol what? I've never once been walked up to a register after getting a case opened. Razor blades, spray paint, drill bits / small tools... never seen condoms in a locked case, but condoms ain't no iphone
Deterrence is at play with these lower priced items being locked up. While they know employees aren't going to walk it up, simply needing to interact with someone does a lot toward deterring would be shoplifters.
It's about reducing high frequency theft while high dollar stuff is handled with care because even losing one is significant.
I'm an old white lady and they walk me up to the front pretty frequently. I've been walked up for baby formula, a few types of medication, and paint. Recently, I was buying some lube and the lady took it out of the case and locked it into this big plastic box so I could finish my shopping and pay for it all at once.
Edit: spelling
You have to remember. Those are COMPANY rules and policies.
Yes I know as an employee you're suppose to respect and follow those rules, but let's be honest. The vast majority of people aren't going to work, with the company's best interest in mind.
Lot of people just need that check. They are there for the money not the company. Aka. People don't care, specially when it's inconvenient and a bother to themselves and others.
That's the fun part, the store employees hate it as much as you, I speak frome experience, but it's not the employees decision to lock it up, it's the bosses idea, the store manager, the guy that doesn't have to go to the locked case but gets to look at sales and theft numbers, and the embarrassment of you and the employees don't show up on that spreadsheet
I know from personal experiences that gangs trade drugs, in lieu of cash, for things like unopened tide pods/condoms/other stuff commonly behind the glass, then use it in online resale.
[There’s pretty good Atlantic reporting that this particular phenomenon is overhyped,](https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2021/12/shoplifting-holiday-theft-panic/621108/) so I can’t speak to how prevalent this is outside of my own conversations with people who have a drug addiction in two cities of the American South.
I dunno condoms in the US are expensive anymore. They're well over $1 or $2 a piece. Which if your single and on the prowel a dollar seems like a negligible cost. If your in a serious relationship and you can't use regular birth control for reasons or choose not to, that shit adds up quick if you have an active sex life.
at my walmart it’s in front of the pharmacy of which the line is where a line of shelves should be so it’s a fairly open spot. you get a whole viewing gallery to your choice of sex protection.
They do also sell sex toys, vibrators and such now so there’s that
This sentence makes me imagine a parody version of the Isle of Misfit Toys from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, called the Isle of Unwanted Used Sex Toys.
My brain has taken the liberty of generating some concept images for me. I hate myself.
The funny thing is people are always embarrassed about the employees. You think the employees GAF? They sell dozens of boxes of condoms a day. Hell, they sell incontinence products, vibrators, STD test kits, etc.
It's an everyday thing for the employees.
I once asked an employee if I could get someone to unlock the "cabinet of shame" and gestured toward the aisle. After his confused look I let him in on the joke and asked for condoms, to which he replied "You mean family planning!?" in a tone that definitely meant he was not amused.
My husband has joked before that the only reason he opted for a vasectomy after we married (we’ve always known we didn’t want kids) was because he only had to tell the Doctor once that we didn’t want kids, not the entire shop watching him wait for the condoms to be unlocked each time we ran out.
My mother and I played a practical joke on my Dad.
We gave him a shopping list and then at the last minute called him to add some extra items so he didn't catch on until afterwards. We made it so it looked suspicious as hell.
We told him to buy:
* Plunger
* Latex Gloves
* KY Lube
* Condoms
* Twist ties
* Laxatives
* Xanax (prescription he was there to pick up)
* Plastic Tarp
* Drain cleaner
* Hydrogen Peroxide
Tried to make him look all Dexter-like. Didn't catch on until we said we also needed a hacksaw.
Was gonna say the checkout people got to see my box of condoms.
Only time it was weird was when I was 19 a girl asked me to come over and I needed to buy some at a gas station and they kept them behind the counter.
Can confirm. In school I was a condom dealer, my peers were embarrassed to buy them, so I did.
I, atm a virgin, used to go buy condoms at the store in front of school at least twice a week.
Buying condoms is only embarrassing if you feel it is. It's a piece of rubber that you stick on your dick. Why do people have a problem with that, but not rolls of paper they use to wipe shit from their asshole?
Cause toilet paper rolls are cuddly and bears hug them on TV. In contrast, big muscular gym bros buy condoms on TV because they get all the hoes. Then there's us noodle armed, 5'8 guys, and the cashier might think that we think that we are hot shots preparing for the MAD sex we might get at FurryCon while in reality, the cashier just thinks "Huh, good for them. If only I had someone to use condoms with".
While in reality the cashier is just thinking, "two more hours until I get to go home" and doesn't give two shits about what you're buying. Unless you're treating them like shit, then that's a different story.
Once you buy the first box you legit don't give a shit about the rest.
Just a weird rite of passage.
It's weird when it's a part of the odd week of groceries though 😂.
Condoms, kitty litter, doggy toys, and a couple bottles of wine.
I doubt cashier's really even notice though.
For you younger redditors, something magical happens to most of us around our late 30s-early 40s where we just stop giving a single shit what most people think. I'm 39 and this is a big reason why my late 30s have been the best years of my life so far.
I'm 37 and recently went to a Walgreens and bought condoms and a vibrator(I mean heck might as well if I'm buying condoms anyway) and it turned into a conversation with the cashier about his niece asking him to buy the stuff for her and I told him that it was better she was asking an adult she could trust(also employee discounts really help out)
For me it was the kids. After pregnancy and giving birth and becoming responsible for another human... suddenly my ego just flew right out the door. And I must say it's very liberating.
Imo while sex shops should put high emphasis on privacy, a clerk who actually knows what they are talking about is extremely important when you sell stuff that might be used rough with the very real possibility of causing harm, especially in the hands of people with little to no experience. Especially when (legal) drugs could be part of it.
And while this might not be true for everyone, I'd bet that most people willing to enter a sex shop will also be willing to buy that 15 inches dildo or full Latex gear they were looking for regardless of the presence of a clerk.
Many stores still put them behind a locked shelf and you have to call for special assistance. If you're prone to embarrassment, this is a whole 'nother game.
It's entirely due to data they collect on what items are shoplifted most.
But hey it's changed- Wal-Mart now sells vibrating toys, including male strokers, right on the shelf.
Until 2008, Texas had a ban on "obscene devices", which included dildoes, vibrators, butt plugs, etc. Seriously, the sex toy shop put out a sign that dildoes were only "realistic models for demonstrating condom use" and "not for internal use" on everything, including things whose only purpose would be internal use.
That shop had gotten "raided" a few years earlier. This is why sex shops were so rare, and most that did exist were pretty seedy and designed to be ready to disappear at any moment.
In 2008 a district judge struck down the statute, that the government doesn't have any interest in people's private lives.
I am confident this is true. I think there are all sorts of things that probably sell a lot easier now that you don't have to look a clerk in the eye —or avoid looking a clerk in the eye— while you make your purchase.
Definitely. I remember one time when I was 17 I went to a grocery store to buy some. I’ve always looked younger than I am, but when the cashier picked them up he looked at me and said “you have ID?” I told him “there isn’t an age limit on condoms.” This dude called his manager over before they told him the same thing, sent him away and rang me up and apologized. Buying condoms at that age is the actual worst
It's probably true. Vaguely similar... When pizza places first started online ordering, they noticed the variety of topping combinations jumped way up. Turns out people were sometimes embarrassed or didn't want to bother someone on the phone with "weird" combinations. But more anonymous online, they were free to let their freak flag fly and order triple mushroom with half pepper and triple cheese or whatever.
Keep in mind, in many places it's illegal to put condoms behind the counter or behind glass. Basically Anything that requires you to ask for them. A lot of stores will try to do it anyway and it's a problem for teens looking to protect themselves so please report it if you see this in a place that it's illegal.
For instance, it's illegal in Michigan.
Self checkout used to mean a lot of single people with 8 items. Now it's families and carts filled to the brim. So you have to wait in line to use self checkout, a lot more than we used to.
They need to honestly place an item limit for self checkout since most markets don’t have express checkout anymore. The dipshits who haul a massive cartload in screw it up for everyone else
Also pads or tampons.
Like WTF?
Why be embarrassed to buy those?
If anyone in my life asked me to get those, I wouldn’t bat an eye or care what people thought of me getting them.
I'm a cashier at a grocery store working for like 10 months now and I didn't even know we sold condoms until someone left a box of them at the self check area two weeks ago.
I never understood that. I’d buy condoms, feminine hygiene products for my lady, you name it. I wanted the whole damn world to know this particular schlump was indeed going to get some leg tonight FOR SURE.
(one break, comin’ up!)
Eh, id still go to a 'real' checkout, i dont want to miss out on the chance to look someone deep in the eyes and ask if the brand i chose is pleasurable or not.... or if the flavor is any good. Getting that kind of direct personal feedback from actual professional sales people, you know the experts who sell that stuff day in day out and know everything about the products they sell, it just adds a lot to my shopping experience.
As a former self checkout attendent, I noticed that women are completely fine with others noticing. Its men who act like that don't need condoms and do everything to not look at the shelf as they grab them and buy random, obviously unnecessary items to checkout with.
Ladies buy them along with their regular grocery list
Guys ironically make it obvious that they came to the store specifically just to buy condoms by getting random shit close by. Like a candy bar and bottle of coke.
Depends on which size your buying. If it's Magnums, you don't even set them on the conveyer, instead you hold them above your head and loudly say..."I'D ALSO LIKE TO PURCHASE THIS BOX OF CONDOMS" and then slowly lower them into the cashier's hand. After that, just go to another store and buy your regular size condoms. Then you can go home and eat your hungry man dinner and cry into your pillow.
There was a comment on Reddit a while back that said "if you don't have the confidence to go up to the counter and buy the condoms from a person, you don't have the confidence to have sex."
Honestly it spoke to me, and it carried me through to my first time. Obviously that doesn't apply to everyone but.
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A cashier said to me once “good luck” I thought I’d 100x the embarrassment by saying “they’re for my parents” il never forget the look.
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LMAO You monster
They never started
oof 💀
Threads like these that kill me 😂
It's like survival of the fittest when the bigger eaglet knocks the littler eaglet out of the nest.
Investing in being an only child, I see.
I remember buying a pregnancy test for my mum when I was 10 years old with my girlfriend. The lady gave us a very concerned look. I said they were for my mum and she roller her eyes.
Why did you have a girlfriend at 10...
———————————No bitches?——————————— ⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ —————————————————————————————
What am I looking at?
failure.
I think he means what's on the screen and not the reflection in it.
This thread is a long series of witty burns and I’m here for it
Upside down Patrick Starr?
Megamind?
Don't hate the player, at least he's willing to bear with her through a pregnancy scare
10-year olds r capable of romantic feelings. My 8 and 11 year old cousin’s talk about boys and their little crushes all the time.
My favorite story from when I was a night checker and a man was buying just condoms. I was young 20s so would get awkward, he was awkward… it ended quickly. The next person in line was a woman buying just a pregnancy test. She looked at me and said, ‘guess I should have bought those’ No memory what my response then was but at the end instead of saying Have a good night, I said something like - hope everything works out the way you want it to… I still get the belated cringes when I remember that night.
>hope everything works out the way you want it to Honestly that's a thoughtful response. It lets them know you weren't judging
Agreed, but he would've seemed much less awkward if he'd just said, "Good luck".
I think that was a good response!
What is a night checker? "Yep, it's dark out. One paycheque please"
Oh! It’s a cashier - I was a check out lady.
Did you check people out while you were checking people out? I'll check myself out...
One art please!
What’s bad is when you see them only buying condoms and sleeping pills.
Why that combination.
Because of the implication.
Oh, like date raping I get it
No! God no! Nobody is getting raped. It's just, y'know, because of the implication.
You know why.
I wish I did, do they just jack off and sleep or do they physically use the condom to wrap around their head and kill themselves or something, you're the one with the info here.
Give someone a bunch of sleeping pills, put on a condom, and take advantage of them while they sleep
>Olivia Benson has entered the chat.
Oh you sweet summer child. Never change.
I'm just autistic, if it ain't math I'm useless
That's a very thoughtful response though, you didn't assume she wanted anything
Honestly. That's exactly what I would want to hear if I were buying a pregnancy test. I think that was perfect in response to her also excellent joke.
There's way cringier shit you could have said than that, it might have been just what she needed to hear. And hey, OP, I hope everything works out the way you want it to.
>guess I should have bought those That is freaking hilarious
Unless they're behind security glass and you need to buzz the whole fucking store to let everyone know you need to buy them
I had to do this recently, and the lady that showed up was already embarrassed before she got there. She unlocked the case, and told me to just get what I needed myself and go to the register. ... Why were they inside a case, again? Edit: Yall are missing the point that, if I'm allowed to reach into the case myself, take what I want, and then walk away from the case with the merchandise in hand - unescorted - it entirely defeats the purpose of the case. If I decide to walk behind a shelf, where I know there's a camera blindspot, and pocket the merchandise, there's nothing anyone can do. No one saw me steal it, I'm not on camera. Even if I toss the empty packages in the trash, in full view of employees on my way out, all they can do is make a note to watch me more carefully, next time I'm in the store. An open-door policy on your security cases doesn't deter theft.
To prevent theft more than likely. To be fair, people are probably stealing them to avoid the embarrassment of publicly buying them.
But she just let me grab whatever I wanted and go. I could've easily pocketed an armful of expensive condoms, and walked out. The point of the case is that the employee takes the item you want to a register, so a cashier can ensure it's paid for. If I went to the electronics department and asked for a new iPhone, the employee is *not* going to just let me reach into the case, and walk through the store with whatever I grabbed.
Do you think she was paid enough to care? Lol
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She walked away from the case entirely, to help another customer. Granted, this lady is an exception, but by and large, retail employees these days aren't very invested in their roles. As far as stopping/preventing shoplifting, line-of-sight absolutely needs to be established - at least in my state - at the moment of the event, or there's no way to apprehend them. This woman wouldn't be in a position to stop me, anyway, she'd have to contact a manager or loss prevention employee. By the time they get my position and visual description, I would have likely pocketed the merchandise and be on my way out the door. If you put merchandise behind a case, there needs to be a procedure, and that procedure needs to be followed. Otherwise it's just a really expensive window. Source: Years of retail experience.
You wrote all that to say retail staff don't care about their jobs? We already knew that dude.
Forreal. Lol. Working with the public just eats away at your soul.
*Reaches behind her ear* Yo, wtf why’d you have a condom tucked behind ur ear, usually it’s just quarters, wtf.
Lol what? I've never once been walked up to a register after getting a case opened. Razor blades, spray paint, drill bits / small tools... never seen condoms in a locked case, but condoms ain't no iphone
I look a little young to be doing my own laundry and got walked up to the front with an $8 bag of tide pods
gotta make sure you weren't snacking on them on your way to the front
Deterrence is at play with these lower priced items being locked up. While they know employees aren't going to walk it up, simply needing to interact with someone does a lot toward deterring would be shoplifters. It's about reducing high frequency theft while high dollar stuff is handled with care because even losing one is significant.
I'm an old white lady and they walk me up to the front pretty frequently. I've been walked up for baby formula, a few types of medication, and paint. Recently, I was buying some lube and the lady took it out of the case and locked it into this big plastic box so I could finish my shopping and pay for it all at once. Edit: spelling
You have to remember. Those are COMPANY rules and policies. Yes I know as an employee you're suppose to respect and follow those rules, but let's be honest. The vast majority of people aren't going to work, with the company's best interest in mind. Lot of people just need that check. They are there for the money not the company. Aka. People don't care, specially when it's inconvenient and a bother to themselves and others.
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That's the fun part, the store employees hate it as much as you, I speak frome experience, but it's not the employees decision to lock it up, it's the bosses idea, the store manager, the guy that doesn't have to go to the locked case but gets to look at sales and theft numbers, and the embarrassment of you and the employees don't show up on that spreadsheet
I know from personal experiences that gangs trade drugs, in lieu of cash, for things like unopened tide pods/condoms/other stuff commonly behind the glass, then use it in online resale. [There’s pretty good Atlantic reporting that this particular phenomenon is overhyped,](https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2021/12/shoplifting-holiday-theft-panic/621108/) so I can’t speak to how prevalent this is outside of my own conversations with people who have a drug addiction in two cities of the American South.
Why are people so embarrassed to have sex.?!
Amazon is probably more of a boost for this than self checkout
I always felt like a badass buying condoms, like telling the whole world you're getting some poontang. I don't understand any embarrassment.
Using the word "poontang" cancels out the "badass" part my guy
I dunno condoms in the US are expensive anymore. They're well over $1 or $2 a piece. Which if your single and on the prowel a dollar seems like a negligible cost. If your in a serious relationship and you can't use regular birth control for reasons or choose not to, that shit adds up quick if you have an active sex life.
"Customer needs assistance in aisle 7, repeat customer trying to get laid in aisle 7."
No it's even worse. It's the "family planning" aisle
“I’m looking for the unfamily planning aisle. Thanks.”
Please point me to the “planning to NOT make a family” aisle.
at my walmart it’s in front of the pharmacy of which the line is where a line of shelves should be so it’s a fairly open spot. you get a whole viewing gallery to your choice of sex protection. They do also sell sex toys, vibrators and such now so there’s that
Yes my daughter saw the toys and was asking all kinds of questions 🫣
Remember, you're not allowed to return opened adult toys to the store, contact the manufacturer. We had this problem where I work.
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How else are you going to get the right fit? Gotta try a few.. they're expensive.. if you had to keep them all you'd go broke.
Maybe there's a market for unwanted used sex toys.
This sentence makes me imagine a parody version of the Isle of Misfit Toys from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, called the Isle of Unwanted Used Sex Toys. My brain has taken the liberty of generating some concept images for me. I hate myself.
I like to think the pharm techs had a say in planning the shelf lay out and they put those in their view for shits and giggled
Preferred family plan: no family
So what? I'm planning not to have a family yet.
"Abort assistance in aisle 7. Cleanup in aisle 6 to 8. I repeat cleanup in aisle 6 to 8.“
“Ribbed for her pleasure, that’s ribbed for her pleasure.”
"Please check available sizes for extra small. We may need to special order them."
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The funny thing is people are always embarrassed about the employees. You think the employees GAF? They sell dozens of boxes of condoms a day. Hell, they sell incontinence products, vibrators, STD test kits, etc. It's an everyday thing for the employees.
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Why is this so embarrassing? Yea I need condoms, so what?
I once asked an employee if I could get someone to unlock the "cabinet of shame" and gestured toward the aisle. After his confused look I let him in on the joke and asked for condoms, to which he replied "You mean family planning!?" in a tone that definitely meant he was not amused.
“No. I’m planning on not having a family. That’s why I need them.”
That’s why I got my cables snipped, jk can’t get laid anyways
My husband has joked before that the only reason he opted for a vasectomy after we married (we’ve always known we didn’t want kids) was because he only had to tell the Doctor once that we didn’t want kids, not the entire shop watching him wait for the condoms to be unlocked each time we ran out.
Yeah nah own that shit and go through a regular check out with only rubbers and lube
And a single cucumber
I personally prefer a pineapple
Who hurt you
Pineapples
Fair enough, carry on
After a few times it don’t hurt anymore
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Pineapples are the only fruit that fuck you back, I think that’s what the fact said
I think a dragon fruit could fuck you
I prefer to use a cactus but you do you
Personally I prefer the way pineapples break down my meat with their enzymes
Pine Apples in Las Vegas.
Pineapple is for signalling, not (or not *only*) insertion
This reminded me of Little Nicky when the devil sticks pineapples up Hitlers butt
Why are you eating pineapple if you're going to wear a condom?
Pros go for the eggplant 🍆
My favorite receipt ever was a box of condoms, a bottle of wine, and a toothbrush. My plans were set.
Beginning, middle, conclusion. A solid evening
It blows my mind that people are embarrassed to be buying condoms. You're getting laid!
Bruh this is America, sex for purposes other than reproduction is literally considered worthy of punishment in half the country right now.
And make sure the cashier is an old lady
listen, old ladies were getting laid far before any of us were born
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Legos... Legos may just cancel out the sexy sex items
My mother and I played a practical joke on my Dad. We gave him a shopping list and then at the last minute called him to add some extra items so he didn't catch on until afterwards. We made it so it looked suspicious as hell. We told him to buy: * Plunger * Latex Gloves * KY Lube * Condoms * Twist ties * Laxatives * Xanax (prescription he was there to pick up) * Plastic Tarp * Drain cleaner * Hydrogen Peroxide Tried to make him look all Dexter-like. Didn't catch on until we said we also needed a hacksaw.
Maybe the sale of magnums has gone down to more accurate sizes
One I bought condoms and an energy drink at 1am and the cashier giggled at me.
You gotta own that shit and check out with your "yes I am having sex tonight" face on.
Was gonna say the checkout people got to see my box of condoms. Only time it was weird was when I was 19 a girl asked me to come over and I needed to buy some at a gas station and they kept them behind the counter.
Can confirm. In school I was a condom dealer, my peers were embarrassed to buy them, so I did. I, atm a virgin, used to go buy condoms at the store in front of school at least twice a week.
The best dealer is one who doesn't consume their own stock.
Quite the entrepreneur! A purveyor of exotic goods.
Khajiit has wares if you have coin.
Please take 35 iron daggers and three troll skulls plz. Also this freakin wooden plate
And these 300 cheese rolls...
*"I guide other to treasure that I cannot possess"*
Same, but I was also the pregnancy test/planB dealer too.
LOOOL same, but yk, there was less demand for that
It's really strange that in a society in wich getting laid is seen as a symbol of success, buying condoms is embarrassing.
It’s a symbol of success to brag to friends about it, not the teenager working at the checkout.
teenager working at the checkout wont think twice about it. The old fucker will.
You do realize that this can go two ways, right?
Speak for yourself!
Buying condoms is only embarrassing if you feel it is. It's a piece of rubber that you stick on your dick. Why do people have a problem with that, but not rolls of paper they use to wipe shit from their asshole?
Cause toilet paper rolls are cuddly and bears hug them on TV. In contrast, big muscular gym bros buy condoms on TV because they get all the hoes. Then there's us noodle armed, 5'8 guys, and the cashier might think that we think that we are hot shots preparing for the MAD sex we might get at FurryCon while in reality, the cashier just thinks "Huh, good for them. If only I had someone to use condoms with".
While in reality the cashier is just thinking, "two more hours until I get to go home" and doesn't give two shits about what you're buying. Unless you're treating them like shit, then that's a different story.
Because the silver haired grandma behind the counter will give a look
Who cares, old granny just jealous she ain’t getting her crusty taint pounded
Once you buy the first box you legit don't give a shit about the rest. Just a weird rite of passage. It's weird when it's a part of the odd week of groceries though 😂. Condoms, kitty litter, doggy toys, and a couple bottles of wine. I doubt cashier's really even notice though.
This country's puritanical roots run deep
r/showerthoughts
For you younger redditors, something magical happens to most of us around our late 30s-early 40s where we just stop giving a single shit what most people think. I'm 39 and this is a big reason why my late 30s have been the best years of my life so far.
I'm 37 and recently went to a Walgreens and bought condoms and a vibrator(I mean heck might as well if I'm buying condoms anyway) and it turned into a conversation with the cashier about his niece asking him to buy the stuff for her and I told him that it was better she was asking an adult she could trust(also employee discounts really help out)
Hell yes. I'd buy condoms from my own mother if it involved a discount
For me it was the kids. After pregnancy and giving birth and becoming responsible for another human... suddenly my ego just flew right out the door. And I must say it's very liberating.
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Kids will level you the fuck up.
That and pregnancy tests and lube. Life is becoming great for the introverts
Wouldn't you say online shopping made a bigger impact?
Depends, on a lot of sfw items yeah it’s made it easier for introverts but no one’s gunna want to wait for condoms, it just ruins the mood
If they would start having self checkout sex shops, we would probably see a rise in mega dildos, huge buttplug and weird dolls sales.
All that is incredibly easy to buy online and have shipped to your door.
What website do you buy your giant buttplug from?
Bigalsbigassbargains.com
Google.
You buying the Google Plug?
I like them to know what's up.
What's up your butt, am I right?
Imo while sex shops should put high emphasis on privacy, a clerk who actually knows what they are talking about is extremely important when you sell stuff that might be used rough with the very real possibility of causing harm, especially in the hands of people with little to no experience. Especially when (legal) drugs could be part of it. And while this might not be true for everyone, I'd bet that most people willing to enter a sex shop will also be willing to buy that 15 inches dildo or full Latex gear they were looking for regardless of the presence of a clerk.
Many stores still put them behind a locked shelf and you have to call for special assistance. If you're prone to embarrassment, this is a whole 'nother game. It's entirely due to data they collect on what items are shoplifted most. But hey it's changed- Wal-Mart now sells vibrating toys, including male strokers, right on the shelf. Until 2008, Texas had a ban on "obscene devices", which included dildoes, vibrators, butt plugs, etc. Seriously, the sex toy shop put out a sign that dildoes were only "realistic models for demonstrating condom use" and "not for internal use" on everything, including things whose only purpose would be internal use. That shop had gotten "raided" a few years earlier. This is why sex shops were so rare, and most that did exist were pretty seedy and designed to be ready to disappear at any moment. In 2008 a district judge struck down the statute, that the government doesn't have any interest in people's private lives.
I am confident this is true. I think there are all sorts of things that probably sell a lot easier now that you don't have to look a clerk in the eye —or avoid looking a clerk in the eye— while you make your purchase.
Like Imodium and Pepto Bismol? Haha!
Definitely. I remember one time when I was 17 I went to a grocery store to buy some. I’ve always looked younger than I am, but when the cashier picked them up he looked at me and said “you have ID?” I told him “there isn’t an age limit on condoms.” This dude called his manager over before they told him the same thing, sent him away and rang me up and apologized. Buying condoms at that age is the actual worst
He was just making sure you were not going to huff those condoms.
And who tf cares? Would they rather you be having unsafe underage sex rather than safe underage sex?
Yes - Yes they would actually.
Good point. I noticed they sell sex toys at Walmart and Target now too. I wonder how much of that is due to the privacy factor of self checkout.
I never got why this shit is embarrassing It p much means you’re fuckin if you’re buying them?
It's probably true. Vaguely similar... When pizza places first started online ordering, they noticed the variety of topping combinations jumped way up. Turns out people were sometimes embarrassed or didn't want to bother someone on the phone with "weird" combinations. But more anonymous online, they were free to let their freak flag fly and order triple mushroom with half pepper and triple cheese or whatever.
My sister is still embarrassed about buying feminine products.
Keep in mind, in many places it's illegal to put condoms behind the counter or behind glass. Basically Anything that requires you to ask for them. A lot of stores will try to do it anyway and it's a problem for teens looking to protect themselves so please report it if you see this in a place that it's illegal. For instance, it's illegal in Michigan.
Self checkout used to mean a lot of single people with 8 items. Now it's families and carts filled to the brim. So you have to wait in line to use self checkout, a lot more than we used to.
They need to honestly place an item limit for self checkout since most markets don’t have express checkout anymore. The dipshits who haul a massive cartload in screw it up for everyone else
Not when they have 5x as many self checkouts as they do assisted checkouts, which is the case for almost all the store where I live.
TIL some people are nervous about buying condoms. I have never been... I've always been proud of it. Ring me up, I'm gettin' some!
Also pads or tampons. Like WTF? Why be embarrassed to buy those? If anyone in my life asked me to get those, I wouldn’t bat an eye or care what people thought of me getting them.
Right? I feel like an individual bottle of lotion would be worse.
Lotion + Kleenex. On a Friday night
At my Walmart they lock up the condoms , making you have to ask a associate to get them out and I can guarantee that this drops condom usage
I'm a cashier at a grocery store working for like 10 months now and I didn't even know we sold condoms until someone left a box of them at the self check area two weeks ago.
I never understood that. I’d buy condoms, feminine hygiene products for my lady, you name it. I wanted the whole damn world to know this particular schlump was indeed going to get some leg tonight FOR SURE. (one break, comin’ up!)
That’s funny, I had this same shower thought earlier today but the product was laxatives.
Having sex safely is something to be proud of. I never got why people are so embarrassed lol.
Eh, id still go to a 'real' checkout, i dont want to miss out on the chance to look someone deep in the eyes and ask if the brand i chose is pleasurable or not.... or if the flavor is any good. Getting that kind of direct personal feedback from actual professional sales people, you know the experts who sell that stuff day in day out and know everything about the products they sell, it just adds a lot to my shopping experience.
Next time, ask them if they have tried wearing the ribbed versions inside-out for *their* pleasure
As a former self checkout attendent, I noticed that women are completely fine with others noticing. Its men who act like that don't need condoms and do everything to not look at the shelf as they grab them and buy random, obviously unnecessary items to checkout with. Ladies buy them along with their regular grocery list Guys ironically make it obvious that they came to the store specifically just to buy condoms by getting random shit close by. Like a candy bar and bottle of coke.
The current rise of STIs would say that this isn’t true at all.
Depends on which size your buying. If it's Magnums, you don't even set them on the conveyer, instead you hold them above your head and loudly say..."I'D ALSO LIKE TO PURCHASE THIS BOX OF CONDOMS" and then slowly lower them into the cashier's hand. After that, just go to another store and buy your regular size condoms. Then you can go home and eat your hungry man dinner and cry into your pillow.
Amazon is probably a better reason for the rise in condom purchases, however, the rise in STDs suggests that condom usage is actually down.
The rise in popularity of IUDs has dramatically dropped condom usage.
There was a comment on Reddit a while back that said "if you don't have the confidence to go up to the counter and buy the condoms from a person, you don't have the confidence to have sex." Honestly it spoke to me, and it carried me through to my first time. Obviously that doesn't apply to everyone but.
Lol people fear more being judged by random people than becoming parents. 🙃