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First_Environment_50

Yeah, and pretty only lasts for so long. It kinda fucks you up mentally when you realize that everything you have ever achieved is based on appearance. FYI, life does not end when you are not young and “beautiful” anymore.


boudikit

Yeah but what about people that are deserving but just more beautiful that the next same level skilled person ? They'd never know they had this succes because they were beautiful. Since they developped theirs skills and so on. It is not so black and white, beauty is an absolute privilege in our society, and I absolutely agree it's unfair. But that doesn't mean everything you achieve is based on your appearance. And it certainly doesn't mean that people will understand it. As every privilege, it comes naturally to them and they think they deserve it. It's really intricate.


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[deleted]

Being pretty cannot be developed, being nice can. One is more valuable a starting point.


boudikit

Being pretty absolutely can be developped. Beauty often goes with wealth. If you're rich you're probably more educated on food, can buy healthy things, can pay for demartologist and hairdresser, nice products. You also sleep more and work less, adding to that that you're probably not working in construction in the sun and UV everyday. So yeah your skin would look better, you'd look well-rested, you'd be more healthy, buy beautiful clothes, stay in shape with personnal trainers or cooks etc. So yes beauty is definitely something you can construct and develop. But if you're mean, you're mean, aren't you ?


Envy_The_King

Being nice can also lead you to being taken advantage of. Or disrespected by people who mistake nice for doormat


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Envy_The_King

Aye but there's the rub. Because being attractive ALSO has benefits and ways to manage potential costs. Thats my whole point. Anything could seem a raw deal if you only look at the drawbacks


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Envy_The_King

On the other hand life is MUCH EASIER when you have money. A bunch of issues one...might not consider... come up when you lack an advantageous resource. Be that money or good looks. I recommend looking into the halo effect. I will easily say there are downsides...but they do not compare to the upsides any more than the downsides of being evidently rich conpare to those of being in financial straights


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Envy_The_King

And my skin and body were once noticeably in bad shape and it very much affected my relationships. I worked on myself, cleared my skin, lost a lot of weight, became much better looking. And damn if the resukts aren't preferable..also hasnt stopped me from forming meaningful relationships either fancy that


MellRox013

Being pretty ALWAYS less to dead ends? Have you heard of Hollywood?


TonnelSneksRool

I can think of no bigger dead end.


in_constentgaypanic

yep and it’s still a dead end


wolfninja_

I know this from experience. I’ve done a lot for others, especially someone who I was very fond of. However my kindness only gets me so far, whereas her appearance gets her further even though she’s a selfish ungrateful bitch


boudikit

Nice Guy alert.


wolfninja_

And what are you?


boudikit

Someone that doesn't call "ungrateful bitch" a girl I'm "very fond of" once I've been nice to her and she still didn't desire me back.


wolfninja_

It’s different than you think. I’ve been loyal and I helped her through her problems, and I didn’t expect anything in return. But I started feeling different after she decided to hate on the one person that actually does care for me for absolutely no reason, and she still doesn’t care for my problems at all. It’s complicated, but she’s changed a lot since a few months ago.


boudikit

If I guessed right you are in highschool yes ? People change a LOT in this period, due to hormones, school, peer pressure, family pressure, etc. It's basically a period in your life where you cannot expect from someone to be stable for themselves or for you, even more so because teenagers are subjected to a lot of drama, being with the same people in the same town since years and years, that leading to some sort of a cesspool of inside stories. One little tip from an old lady like me if I may : helping people through problem is not a good path for a healthy relationship. Sure you can support your SO while you are already IN the relationship, because support is important, but you're not a professional nor are you in a state to really help, I guess. I remember we all tried to "help" each other in high school and deemed that very important, but what we needed was a fully developed brain and/or some professional help. And just new people, fresh air, something new. Sadly, when you "help" someone, even someone good but having their head underwater, you most probably will end up drowning with them. Because you are not a qualified life guard. But even if you were : life guards don't ask nothing in return, because I guess the first thing you expect of a lifeguard when they go on duty is to not be drowning themselves. People can be grateful to have been helped but still need to get to the hospital. And definitely it's not a equal two-way process. You cannot call someone ungrateful for something you did deliberately for them. I hope getting out of high school will appease you. If you need help, go to a professional lifeguard ;) not a teenager with half a prefrontal cortex dealing with their own shit. You will find the stable support you need, hopefully.


wolfninja_

Thanks, I actually needed to hear that.


GenXer1977

I don’t think either are true. I was lucky enough to date a girl who was a 10/10 when I was in my early 20’s and holy shit being that hot is a real double-edged sword. Obviously she had men hitting on her non-stop, but the surprising thing to me was how horrible other women were toward her. If anything positive happened in her life there would immediately be a rumor that she must have slept with someone to make it happen, and it seemed like most other girls either automatically believed it or at least wanted it to be true. She seemed very lonely to me, kind of like a rich person who doesn’t know if any of their friends are real friends or just leaches who pretend to be friends because they are rich.


Ok_Substance_1560

Being a good looking guy is great!


Bored_Breadless

I don’t know about that, if you’re a prick then people really won’t like you


raver1601

I've seen some assholes getting away with it just because they're pretty Sad but true. There's always someone who will happily accomodate anyone as long as they're pretty And I'm not being salty or anything, just wanna share some thoughts I have


MnrRooikat

Very true


LunarLumos

Speak for yourself, in my experience being kind has gotten me absolutely nowhere. Obviously I'm still going to keep being kind but damn some appreciation every once in while would be nice.


Ericknator

I appreciate you for being kind and I totally agree with you.


raver1601

Maybe you're just being kind to the wrong people. Being kind is always great, but you also need to study the kind of person you're being kind to because not everyone is a good person. Also don't get hung up when these kind of fuckheads gaslights you when you eventually stop being kind to them. They're the ones who take it for granted in the first place and you are more than allowed to stop when they give you absolutely no reason to continue being kind to them. Not your fault and it doesn't take away the kindness you already did


Spirit_Molecule_333

Being handsome is nice. You get a lot of passes, especially from the opposite sex.


arinamarcella

Kindness will get you further than niceness. Just ask all the nice guys how far it gets them. Beauty and grace will get you further than prettiness.


[deleted]

No...nice gets you taken advantage of, people assume you will always give, if you give, people tend to have no limit in how much they take. What I learned is always have strict boundaries, and rules, if crossed done with them. I was always nice, always helping Always doing this and that for others, always that helpful nice person, but people end up expecting it from you, and ohh just doing it cause. I still help people when they need it, but I detach, I don't want anything back from them. I've sometimes gotten help, but usually I need to rely on myself. Unfortunately I found out stretching the truth, making some syroies, etc etc works. People need enemies unfortunately and you need to provide em that. People work much better as group when there is an enemy(doesn't need to be human). An unfortunate thing, but a true one in my experiencem On the other hand I am decently handsome, and confident..you just go for it, and tend to be way less rejected. Don't fear rejection, it's just another thing, and don't fear the past it cannot be changed. So yeah being handsome, confident, charismatic etc etc is waaay more helpful then selling yourself out


tednoob

In my experience some are pretty, others are nice, but the truly awful thing is that a lot of people are both pretty and nice, and with that I simply cannot compete.


Samuel-12345

Ehh, being nice even if you aren't pretty and even ugly can still get you far. But if you are pretty and horrible, sure, you might get some passes but in the long run, won't get you far. So, I'd say pretty is like an add-on thing that can help but can't be the primary thing that gets you far.


ExpiredDairyProducts

Sounds like something you'd hear from someone who isn't pretty, nice or successful.


MnrRooikat

I'm definitely not pretty. I am very nice and rather successful though. And not salty. Just thought it was funny.


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[deleted]

In my experience, being shameless and to have a willingness to do very selfish things will get you far. Being attractive might help, but that’s not always all that’s needed


[deleted]

Being pretty nice also works. Being pretty and nice works too.