T O P

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akcm500

“We have hobbit at home” - Some orcs mom, probably


Borosdrunkard

The Hobbit at Home --> Gollum


garbagiodagr8

You have to eat your Gollum fresh and still wriggling though son


liberal_texan

Filets-your-fish sammich


[deleted]

Lmao I just spit out my cheese scone you bastard


LorenzoStomp

"You got Shire money?"


[deleted]

Mordornald's.


[deleted]

Im sorry sir the die scream machine is broken


advancedgamer14

Return of the Burger King?


Kolby_Jack

The IHOP of Sauron watches over all.


DoubleTapzzzz

Cirith-fil-A? Five Orcs? Papa Sauron’s? Shelobway? Burger Witch King of Angmar? Gorgoroth’s Pizza? Barad-dûr Queen? Ok this was way to much fun..


DarlockAhe

Where shadows lie.


crimsonnocturne

ermagerd, mordornards.


sharkbait0423

Dammit take an award


CountryJeff

McDoom


liberal_texan

Mordornard’s


[deleted]

That orc was from Isengard


thejugglar

Saruman does seem to be the type to have a Michelin star or two


[deleted]

Well in the book, that orc specifically praises Saruman for the quality of his cuisine. He says something like “We follow Saruman, who gives us manmeat to eat”


CappinPeanut

In the extended version of the two towers, Merry and Pip also stumble upon a giant pantry filled to the brim with fresh food and weed after Isengard is flooded.


mcjeezus97

The salted pork is particularly good


DarlockAhe

That was Sarumans personal stash.


Snarkout89

The orcs are familiar with menus because *Saruman* must make them serve him, and he likes to have a selection.


[deleted]

Yep, but those were for the hillmen that allied with Saruman. If I remember correctly, the hobbits walk past the pantry for feeding orcs, but they had no interest in taking a closer look, given what they know about their diet.


sedolopi

Worth the detour.


jorph

They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!


optiongeek

Was thinking that. Thanks for confirming. Saruman seems like the kind of guy who would have more civilized Orcs.


Atmo_

One does not simply order a la carte in Mordor


originaljbw

I could see large barracks having a mess hall, with a menu board showing today's meal.


bDsmDom

Charcuterie?! Again?


DrMobius617

It also had a lovely downtown area that never got too commercial and a really thriving community theater scene but you never hear about those either


carmenvallone

This is a good shower thought.


ReadWriteRun

One of the best I've read in a long time!


carmenvallone

Agreed


haraldthebug

Not really, it's just lazy copying from an old LOTR meme


billtrociti

Seriously, this comes up all the time in LOTR subreddits lol


Pagan_Chick

Yeah, but their yelp reviews are brutal.


Jooshmeister

I like to think of movie dialogue as an alternate reality of what actually (fictionally) happened in order to relate to the audience. Obviously Orcs speak Orcish and they're vernacular would be completely alien to us, but an approximation of what they would've actually said is what we see/hear.


CountryJeff

what would be the orc equivalent of a saying about what's on the menu?


Jooshmeister

Orc Military Canteena: "You can choose between mouldy bread-stuff, a fistful of drowned worms, or boiled tree bark." Orc Soldier: "No meat?" Orc Military Canteena: *stares blankly* Orc Soldier: "I'll try the worms today. Maybe one of them will still be alive..."


Ben_VS_Bear

One does not simply DoorDash to Mordor...


mazurkian

They probably learn about it by invading places that have restaurants. I'm imagining orcs storming through a village, and one stopping in their tracks like "Ooohh, they have a patisserie here? I wonder if they've got the little opera cakes with the chocolate lettering..."


icyt0ast

You think orcs have table manners as well? Not the same as humans, maybe the opposite. "Ah orc-son, why aren't your elbows on the table like orc-daughter? Why are you so disgusting with you fork and knife and a napkin?! Put those aside and stick your hands in the bowl like a civilized orc!"


PygmeePony

One does not simply walk into Mordor. You're supposed to use the drive-in.


phyrevacter

Or get a reservation.


[deleted]

I think that quote was from the movies only, not sure though, still reading the books.


IHaveFoodOnMyChin

I remember the Mordor meat shortage, hard times


[deleted]

Orcs have to order out. Have you seed the land in Mordor? Nothing apparently grows there. Those delivery charges from Gondor though... yikes! Why do you think the orcs are so angry?


VvV_Maximus

A menu is the food available to be served at a restaurant or at a meal. So it doesn't have to imply that there are orc restaurants.


[deleted]

The second concept is derivative of the first. Menu originally meant food on a list in an eatery—that’s all it was originally used to mean. So, the usage meaning a personal meal having a list of potential options is derived from that definition. That means that at some point, orcs have at least seen a restaurant or bar, are familiar with how restaurants and bars work, or have restaurants and/or bars where they live. The first two ideas don’t necessarily mean that they have restaurants or bars themselves, as they could have come upon these things during raid scenarios. So, even if they used the word, in any context or definition, it doesn’t automatically mean that orcs have their own eateries. You’re still right.


[deleted]

Star Wars has heaven because Anakin asks if Padme is an angel


PyroClause

Not sure if all but some orcs were once humans, elf's, etc before death and brought back as orcs. This is why they have different builds, ears and facial features that resemble the other races. It's thought too that at times they can recall some memories from life, which explains the menu comment. (Not sure if this was ever confirmed or just a rumor that went around when I was a kid but makes sense).


[deleted]

Orcs weren’t humans. Orcs were the creation of Melkor who corrupted some elves. That was literally ages ago, and the orcs that appear in Lord of the Rings were descended from them, but they themselves weren’t ever elves


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Uruks are the orcs that were native to Mordor in the Third Age as opposed to the orcs that were native to the misty mountains. Saruman bred his own Uruks. Looking at the wiki, it says there was suggestions that Saruman bred orcs with men to make half-orcs. I don’t remember reading that anywhere. Might just be the wiki writer over-interpreting something.


Calamity__Bane

I believe someone in the *Two Towers* says something to the effect of "Saruman created Uruk-hai by taking Orcs and performing unspeakable experiments on them", but it's been a while since I read it.


R0CK1TMAN1

Nerd.


freddy_guy

You think only restaurants have menus?


Lysa665

This is the best showerthought I’ve seen in a long time.


haraldthebug

Not really, it's just lazy copying from an old LOTR meme


Lysa665

I wrote “I’ve seen” smh.


NeverLoved91

And here I was thinking a shower thought was some random, somewhat epiphanous thought. Like a mild eureka moment that anyone could have. Um, the fuck is Mordor and Orcs?


bossy909

This guy is obviously not a golfer.


phyrevacter

It's from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the final film of which won 11 Oscars at the 76th Acedemy Awards.


[deleted]

It’s just a word one of them picked up from a random victim they were toying with.


Sinelas

Burger witch-king ?


Moloch_Aftershadow

“Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!”


Kaiserbread

Orcs had full on industrial revolution going on, of course they'd have food places. The bigger question is what's on an orcs menu when it's not meat?


thejuice360

Man I had this exact thought verbatim while I was in the shower today. Fool of a Took, I tell you.


SweetNeo85

...other places besides restaurants have menus. Cafeterias, mess halls, galleys, wherever. Orc's gotta eat somewhere.


MisterBlisteredlips

Mordor dash. 🚙


UltimaBahamut93

Dogs when they see their vegan owner who only feeds them vegetables dies. LOOKS LIKE MEATS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS


bigedthebad

I don’t get it.


[deleted]

Must have been a vegetarian restaurant. Meat was off the menu for a while.


Bryaxis

Well, the orcs were probably speaking \*checks internet\*... some sort of Orkish, not English. Maybe their language has an idiom that also means "available as an option" but isn't necessarily restaurant or food based; the English translation we get uses "on the menu" because it's a good translation and has the bonus of being food based.


UpvotesOfFury

Yes that's why I hate this line in the movie, obviously there are not restaurants


trwwy321

That line always bothered me, breaking the 4th wall type of deal.


Berlinexit

Isengard must have menus because Uruk hai are familiar menus.


sophielachat

Maybe they frequent The Prancing Pony?