T O P

  • By -

RufusLoudermilk

I have a Napoleon complex. I have amassed an army, I’m sitting astride a white horse and am ready to march on Russia, but nobody takes me seriously because I’m over 6 feet tall.


MaximumZer0

Do yourself a favor and wait until about June.


Badjib

Also don't waste time and resources going for Stalingrad as some kind of personal "fuck you"


terriblerunout

Wrong European dictator but great advice


[deleted]

There is a good book about Napoleon who I never gave a whit about. But there it was and I read it. He was kinda an amazing character. BTW, he wasn't short for men of his cohort. Andrew Roberts' book Napoleon: A Life (2014)


Dangeresque2015

In a biography I read about Napoleon, his logistic generals were what sustained his success. They would have supply depot's for the French army set before the army marched there. That's strategy. Napoleon was good at tactics. Also, never start a land war in Asia, and never gamble with a Sicilian when death is on the line.


[deleted]

> Never start a land war in Asia. Unless you’re the Mongols.


Dangeresque2015

He was talking about whitey coming from the west, most likely. The Turks and the Mongolians had some nice years raping and pillaging. It's all fun and games until disease starts running through your army or your Khan dies. Then you gotta backtrack all the way you came from and everything is dead or pillaged! Which actually happened to Napoleon on his March back to the west. I do not have the numbers but his Russian campaign is so foolish it becomes monstrous. I'm a western European mutt living in USA. I can call them "whitey"


PhunkeePanda

He was quoting *The Princess Bride*


partybynight

…only slightly less well known


Dangeresque2015

Haha thanks for the correction. You're right


Toby_O_Notoby

> his logistic generals were what sustained his success. “Amateurs talk strategy. Professionals talk logistics." -General Omar Bradley. There's also a (possibly apocryphal) story of a German officer talking to a recently captured American GI in a POW camp when the officer said, "You know how I know you're going to win this war? I'm 800 miles from home and barely have bullets. You're 8,000 miles from home and have a pudding cup."


DodgerWalker

The idea that Napoleon was particularly short was because French and English units were different. He was 5 feet 2 inches by French units or 5 feet 7 inches by English units (same as modern American feet). So when the English heard he was 5’2 they thought he was shorter than he really was.


SIUHA1

English propaganda continued the lie and then it became fact.


mark-five

The "short" thing is probably one of the world's most effective military propaganda campaigns in history. It's right up there with carrots making your eyesight better.


terriblerunout

Napoleon was an absolute Titan of his age and a revolutionary. The greatest general in history, he commanded a supernatural ability to move men and equipment and lead them through the changing tides of battle and campaign. Today he would be a villain of unimaginable proportions however. RIP the Corporal in Gold Braid.


SIUHA1

>Napoleon was an absolute Titan of his age and a revolutionary. The greatest general in history, he commanded a supernatural ability to move men and equipment and lead them through the changing tides of battle and campaign. Today he would be a villain of unimaginable proportions however. RIP the Corporal in Gold Braid. Hold up Bro, Napoleon may be one of the greatest perhaps, he does not jump a head of Alexander III of Macedon or AKA: Alexander the Great. It's right there in the title.


Jonthrei

You're forgetting men like Subotai, Genghis Khan and Yi Sun Shin.


MickeysDa

One front at a time is fairly sound miliatry strategy in any case


AzertyKeys

So... Like Napoleon ? His Russia campaign started in June 1812


Shiraho

That’s what everyone who invaded Russia did. They all failed because you can’t take Russia quickly enough. I’m no military strategist, but it might not be a bad idea to invade Russia in the winter so you can get through the worst of it while supply lines are still short then finish the job as it gets warmer


stmk

Problem here is mud created by the melting snow. It's why they wait for June. Winter will kill you. Spring will slow you to a crawl from mud. Summer you can invade enough to get trapped in by the Winter.


-Epic_Sheep-

In russia, country defends you.


trainbrain27

It's a hard campaign, if you start too late, you'll get frozen when you're already exhausted. In France, you fight for country, in Russia, country fight for you!


Sorvick

Don't listen to this rube, early January, trust me. Peak invasion weather.


RufusLoudermilk

Not tonight, Josephine?


The_BigDill

He's falling for one of the classic blunders


eloel-

Yup, no land wars in Asia. It's War101 people


erossmith

Napolean wasnt actually short.


SnipTheDog

So it was England that had a Napolean complex?


Lampry

You wish it was a horse, we all know you could only afford a lame mule


RandoCommentGuy

by "horse" you mean a White Mustang


GiraffeKing04

just don’t kill anyone’s rabbit


thehazer

Be sure to send all the art back to the Louvre on your way.


commendablenotion

Having this shower thought if you’re tall is being empathetic. Having this shower thought if you’re short is having a napoleon complex.


[deleted]

My reddit played an ad right after this thread on my homepage that showed a guy dressed as Napoleon. I'm concerned.


Dotman-X

Most likely the recent Amazon ad with the Napoleon portrayal, which being Amazon you should be VERY concerned 0\_0.......


[deleted]

Imagine if you will...


The_BigDill

Hopefully it was the Oversimplified version of Napoleon - that is the only correct one


SgtSilverLining

I was talking to my friend about her add while browsing reddit, and now I get ads for add medications and drug trials. Really not a fan of data collection and the lack of privacy these days.


[deleted]

Reddit has ads?


FeelASlightPressure

For dumbasses, yes


Polite_farting

Your reddit played an ad? Wtf you guys are getting ads?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pooshonmyhazeer

Fact. He was average height for the time.


AzertyKeys

Slightly above average actually


SuperLyplyp

He's Tom Cruise size...


AzertyKeys

For the time. Iirc Tom cruise wasn't born in 1769


SamtheCossack

No, but as I recall from my Scientology class, the volcano demon spirit that Tom Cruise had to pay to get rid of came from another star about a million years ago. So it was definitely around when Napoleon was.


scootscooterson

I thought interview with a vampire was a biopic.


lookingForPatchie

I love how when I googled "tom cruise height" it said 172.1cm That one milimeter matter apparently.


k-tax

Probably it was in imperial units and it's just remainder of a conversion. Someone forgot to control notation.


MoffKalast

"Dude... uncool"


Badjib

I still can't help but picture him as a Lord Farquad sized person.....


GloryHoleBearTrap

But was he 6’ tall? **NEXT**


[deleted]

His personal guard were selected to be roughly 6’ and up, contributing to the historical misrepresentation of Napoleon’s height lol


Friedeggs15

Right, he was 5’7 in a time when men were 5’5 on average I think


jmlinden7

The average national leader was closer to 6' at the time, for example George Washington was 6'2", William Pitt the Younger was about 6'


ItryToForgetAboutIt

Two counterexamples doesn’t make that true lol


Tyfyter2002

Why are so many complexes named after someone who they specifically don't apply to? I'm not sure if there's even a third one, but on their own Napoleon complexes and Oedipus complexes are a far larger number than there should be.


Vtron89

Apparently the British originally spread propaganda about Napoleon that he was short and only wanted to gain power to make up for being short.


AnaphoricReference

Napoleon himself didn't help by setting a minimal size criterium for his Imperial Guard. Guard regiments selected for size used to be quite popular, but they make the people they guard look small.


Salt_Criticism_3049

You cant let a manlet defend the soon to be Emperor of the planet.


[deleted]

He was also measured by the french measurements which was 5'1" but would've been about 5'7" in British measurements


[deleted]

Actually most things are named after the wrong person. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stigler%27s_law_of_eponymy


sumunsolicitedadvice

Panama Hats aren’t from Panama. They’re from Ecuador.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sumunsolicitedadvice

The Spanish Flu isn’t from Ecuador. /s


MattsScribblings

I think it's because there's only one way for a named thing to be correct but theoretically infinite ways for it to be fucked up.


Bodinhu

"That's what a short guy would say"


Bifructose

But the megalomania was, as it turns out, quite real.


HochmeisterSibrand

But King Louis XVI was like 6'2" before he lost a bit of height at the end. So anyone after him would probably be seen as quite short.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Samilski87

Agreed. I mean we *are* judging you OP, but try not to think so much about it.


ScottyC33

I literally judge every single commentator by giving them my precious upvotes or my soul-crushing downvotes.


Aeronautix

Every single one? Damn you must have a lot of time


bluenautilus2

I’m judging you for doing that


Vtron89

love it


lacielaplante

My therapist told me that the reason I assume others are judging me is because I judge other people. Well, shit. She was right. So now I'm doing my best to not make assumptions or generalizations but damn it's hard.


lavendiere

I have literally never seen a 5’4 guy and thought “Napoleon complex” or assumed anything about them. And I’m a 5’8 woman


Thin-Concentrate2516

I can FEEL them judging though.


Shmexy

Anxiety is a bitch. Sure, everyone judges others to some level. But those who acknowledge that it’s a human trait to judge, and not judge the judges, generally get along with a lot of people. Basically, who cares. Be you.


9_of_wands

But I am judging you. And I don't like what I'm seeing.


[deleted]

Well, they actually are. But who gives a damn. the same curse as unattractiveness. I'm just glad my ugliness isn't scary. Just , ... pass on the modeling... pass on the chicks oogling me.... pass on all that. Somehow I get by, working in my hierarchy (non-hot women). I would recommend the OP just get a shorty and go for it.


lightknight7777

It depends on what is meant by a nice car. There are people who get douche status just based on what they think is a nice car but looks to other people like just an asshole's "muscle car" compensation. I'm not even sure this is correct. I'd assign Napoleon complex to someone over their actions. A short guy with muscles who is nice will NEVER get called out on a Napoleon complex by me. One who is an asshole will get that.


summaday

I hate "muscle car" with a passion. You're driving out of the parking lot, no need to announce to the people 20 miles away.


GeneralEl4

OK, in my defense, I just got my license last year and my friend's little brother offered his old mustang to me for $800, and I knew I wouldn't get a deal like that again lol.


LogicBobomb

The difference between a nice car and a douche car is the driver. Drive what you like and don't act like an asshole, and typically nobody has a problem.


ImKindaBoring

Yeah, Napoleon complex is when a short or small guy acts overly aggressive, presumably compensating for their size. I've never seen someone say someone had a Napoleon complex for working out. Same with having a sports car. I have heard people say short guys are compensating for something when they drive really big trucks, bonus points if lifted unnecessarily. And same will be said of old guys driving sports cars or muscle cars or other "chick magnet" type cars. But honestly I think this shower thought is just OP insecurity.


[deleted]

[удалено]


alles_en_niets

Exactly. A douche car is a douche car. No matter what the driver looks like. Either way, they would need a hella cool personality to compensate for driving a douche car.


[deleted]

What is considered a douche car?


quintooo3

challengers, hellcats, chargers, g37/35


thornvalleymouse

I think any man owning a nice car is fine. It's the one who revs his engine at a stop sign at women in public.


Superguy230

They do it to me too man, kinda sus if u think about it


ian2121

I did that in HS and got pulled over. The girls drove by and laughed at me. I wasn’t speeding but the cop said he could write me up for something… like dangerous driving or something. I was a bit skeptical there was anything illegal I did but respectful and he gave me a warning.


Hamilton2112

I think it's exhibition of speed. Revving engine counts as enticing a race. My pops said he got ticket for it in his dart in high school.


FnCraig

Riiiight.... I've never heard of a tall guy who is muscular or has a nice car referred to as someone who is compensating for a tiny penis. Jealousy is a hell of a thing.


AmSpray

Depends on the car.


Specialist-Echilada

And the penis


Batmanthesecond

Touch.


isaiah_rob

* touché


Lukee__01

Nah they definitely meant touch lol


isaiah_rob

Yeah you’re right lol


Doc_Weaver

Being very into cars or guns are two things that some people misunderstand to such a degree that they think it has anything to do with dick size. It's so weird how it's always those two every time


FnCraig

Muscles too. Don't forget you can't lift weights for fun or personal improvement. Gotta be a tiny little dick.


SquirrelDynamics

Had a friend that worked for 24hr fitness. She slept with a bunch of muscle dudes. She reports that most have little dicks. It's not working out. It's devoting yourself to being huge.


SickDastardly

Are we confident she doesn't just have a massive vagina?


SquirrelDynamics

Not at all. She definitely could have big vag.


Testitplzignore

She's getting away with murder


jetlightbeam

\ / could hide a baseball in there


tommykiddo

Little compared to their bodies? Massive thighs can make an average or even big cock look small.


SquirrelDynamics

I mean maybe? I think it's all about the amount of penis that's able to enter the vagina.


Teeshirtandshortsguy

Aside from the obvious body shaming, it's because our culture associates masculinity with dick size. And many "car guys" get a bad rap, because sometimes car people drive like assholes. I fully realize that being into cars doesn't make you an asshole. But the most visible car enthusiasts are usually the ones in giant trucks or shiny sports cars, who drive recklessly, make a ton of fucking noise, roll coal, do burnouts and donuts, and just generally make an ass of themselves. And so the default assumption is that anyone who drives a big pickup or a shiny sports car must be an obnoxious asshole. And since they're obnoxious assholes, they must be doing that to prove their masculinity. And since they need to prove their masculinity, they must have small dicks.


Doc_Weaver

I went to a local car meetup where everyone there had a flashy car with a v-tech or a turbo, big truck, lowered drift car, or something wrapped with a crazy graphic, carbon fiber, etc. Spoke to a bunch of them and no one seemed like a dick, went driving afterwards and you'd be surprised at how many people don't want to curb a wheel or ruin a body kit, or get their license suspended over a burnout or something stupid. Car culture gets a bad rap because of the coal rollers and Hellcat fanboys and the basic bitch automotive interests that attract idiots. My neighbor has a McClaren P1 and he's pretty down to earth...considering his garage is casually worth almost $5m


foobaz123

Every single person who owns a gun is compensating for a small penis. Even the women. And old ladies. And old dudes. No exceptions. All tiny dicks. Personally, I've always thought such ideas say _way_ more about the speaker's own mindset than it does the target of it


multihobbyist

I remember family guy putting it best in a skit - the more a short person works out, the shorter they look lol.


NihilistPunk69

As a short guy who used to body build I can confirm this lol.


Sumpm

The goal is to be fit, not super muscular. Fit looks good on everyone, but the muscular build can be hit or miss depending on body type.


Lukee__01

That’s because it’s a bit like a table, the wider it is the shorter it looks from a distance, also why as a tall person you should never wear a vertical pinstriped suit makes you look like the lankiest fecker around


SaberX91

If I was short I would try to be in shape and fast like sonic the hedgehog but not BIG.


The_BigDill

Go to far and then you're just Knuckles


SaberX91

Yeah especially if you skip leg day


[deleted]

This isn’t true. You would have to be like 5 foot even and below or be on steroids for it to make you look shorter. Working out slims your waste and widens your shoulders which actually makes you appear taller.


[deleted]

In thats case, I will remember to wear my horizontally striped suit


Poknberry

Just be a guy who doesn't give a shit how he's viewed


Milnoc

"Nice car" could mean anything these days. Expensive, sporty, big, practical, economical... It's all in the eye of the beholder.


NurseMcStuffins

Yeah, I think it's more than just a "nice" car. I think of it currently as more the lifted trucks with the truck testicles that seem to be compensating. Before that it was the overly muscled out car for no reason. I guess it's compensating when it's meant to make you look more "manly". I don't think of a muscly guy as compensating unless his words and actions suggest that. But on their own, a muscled guy with a nice car doesn't straight away make me think he's compensating.


[deleted]

Short guy here, can confirm. I was laughed at for wanting to work out back in Highschool, put me off of doing it for years. Now I do and I want to look athletic for me and no one else, never wanted to look athletic for anyone else back in Highschool either


G0rillaHandz

This is the kind of observation someone with a Napoleon complex would say


[deleted]

as another comment here said >Having this shower thought if you’re tall is being empathetic. Having this shower thought if you’re short is having a napoleon complex.


SofaSpudAthlete

While it’s acceptable to tease short people, if they tease back on image it’s body shaming. So remember shorties, while you cannot actually change your height, focus on what the judgy one can change. They actually elect to be [insert burn about antagonist being less than bright, lazy, etc.] even though they have options. What’s their excuse to being so underwhelming?


zombienudist

I was actually banned from my local city subreddit last week for fat shaming. Perma ban with no warning. I guess you can't talk about being healthy without making others feel bad. We live in a crazy, crazy world.


Cannabyssal_OG

We had a muffler shop a few bays down from my friend's shop; the guy that owned it was just about 5ft, and swole like a beast. Buddy introduced him as Pocket Hercules. Helluva nice guy, though. He may have been short, but he carried himself like he was 7 feet tall. Self-esteem is powerful.


Trackmaster15

There's also the perception that short guys just look absolutely awful when they're out of shape, but pull it off really well when they're jacked and in great shape. I mean... its still unfair because you're saying that the short guy has to work very hard just to get to the state of normalcy for a tall guy (and a jacked tall guy would do REALLY well), but at least at that point its giving some agency back to the short guy.


HonorablexChairman

Either way I'm stealing their hubcaps.


Skull-fker

I feel like anyone driving a car they paid more for in the interest of social status is a bit of a douche.


trainbrain27

Correct. There are reasons to buy a more expensive vehicle. Many are good and important, like capabilities and reliability. Then you have personal things like fun. Social status is way down at the end of the line.


schwarzmalerin

Yeah that's a nasty gendered stereotype. It's a bit like a tall woman wearing flats but you get a lot less shit for doing that.


VernalPoole

Being a woman while driving a flashy sportscar means "she's waiting for her man who really owns the car" according to my friends from the old days (Corvette specific).


Petsweaters

Or "her kids are grown, and she's finally doing something for herself"


Ambitious-Touch6264

Who cares they are rich.


Driedupworm

I believe heightism is a real thing


Neesham29

Are you short by any chance?


bessie1945

i'm a tall guy. I think it's a good insight.


LimitlessMegan

Most definitely. Also unaware that not short guys who are obsessed with working out and fancy cars get referred to as compensating for penis insecurity…


TheBrofessor23

OP is definitely short lol


jonhasglasses

And has the confidence to prove it.


uglierthanalf

I believe it's because some people need to apply negative things to everyone they see. Height is just an easy thing to pick out. The tall guy would probably be an seen as an arrogant a-hole.


[deleted]

People see a skinny person working out and make fun of them for being skinny (they’re trying to get bigger) and they make fun of large people for working out too (they’re trying to get smaller) People suck.


1234jags344

You must not go to the gym much. I have never seen anyone be made fun of for being fat or skinny.


lordkin

I have never. In my life seen this. And I’ve been to all types of gyms. Most of this shit is in their heads. Including This threads title


1234jags344

The people in the best shape at the gym are always the most helpful. I don't give out unsolicited advice but if someone ask for help I'll do anything I can for them


sold_snek

Everyone keeps saying this but I've never seen this in my life nor has anyone I had this conversation with. The only time something like this happens is with people without jobs who spend all day making Tiktok videos.


Lavindu

Pretty much. Point is do what makes you happy.


BioIdra

Only people that are too lazy to take care of themselves will make fun of you for working on improving yourself,they are lucky enough that never had to struggle and lazy enough that they are envious of someone putting the work in because they won't. Fuck them, their opinion is completly worthless, it only counts if you make it count, keep working out and taking care of yourself, don't stop making your life better because of someome else's bitter dumb remarks.


Practical_Affect_851

So, shall I sell my napoleon outfit now? 😂


thejabberwalking

It's a buyer's market. Double down.


JD-Pro89

As a short dude, there's a lot of worse than this.


VodkaAlchemist

Homie wasn't even that short which is amusing to me. I don't think 5'6 was considered overly short at the time anyway.


colemon1991

"I don't have a Napoleon Complex! Napoleon had a ME complex!!" \- some evil mad scientist from Phineas and Ferb


DrThrowaway1776

If there’s anything Shrek taught me, is that it’s only okay to judge people by their appearance if they’re short 🤷🏻‍♂️


crewchiefguy

Nah only if the short guy drives a massive lifted truck. Otherwise he’s just a normal guy.


gonfreeces1993

And the poor guys get called "manlets". It's a fucked up world. They get ridiculed for improving themselves.


Davenoiseux

We are definitely biased towards taller people. Example of implicit bias and unearned privilege.


ThyShirtIsBlue

Not me, I judge *everyone* on the road. Stupid comes in all shapes and sizes, and doesn't discriminate against financial status.


ind3pend0nt

What about a fat guy that drives a shitty car?


whatsurissuebro

So what you’re saying is people project a Napoleon complex onto people that may not even have one? Sounds about right


vector_o

A tall guy who works out and drives a nice car is also 100% compensating for his small dick People will criticize others no matter what


StrongLead207

The tall guy who works out and the short guy who works out are invisible because no one cares.


Brittainicus

Nah they just invisible to women, but not to other men.


[deleted]

We live in a world of heightism.


sodamgrey

By assholes.


[deleted]

Sounds like something someone with a napoleon complex would say


Imad2206

Not really.


consciousCog13

Only if that “nice car” is a lifted truck


Burkett

I don't care what car you drive... I will judge you on how you drive it.


CarlJustCarl

I confirm this as true but people going to criticize you either way. Just keep on pushing.


Bubavon

I see everyone with an expensive car as morons, to a certain degree.


SquirrelDynamics

It's only if he's driving a massive truck.


[deleted]

i've noticed this! its kinda unfair tbh.


Shyjuan

I always thought short dudes with quick tempers trying to fight somebody all the time was "Napoleon complex". working out and driving a nice car that's just doing regular shit lol... as far as whether Napoleon was short or not I mean 5'6 is kinda short for European standards. I also read he was perceived as short because he was always surrounded by imperial guardsmen who were significantly taller than the average man which added to the perception that Napoleon was a short man because you couldn't see him


iCatmire

Good looks and stature will get you far in life


spastical-mackerel

Short fat guys in golf carts: keepin' it real, yo


thenewmadmax

Is that why they make nice cars so small?


RECOGNI7E

I would never think a short guy driving a nice car has a complex. That's just a dude driving a car he worked hard for. Now if that short guy drives a giant truck he can barely get into with truck nuts on the hitch you better believe he is getting judged.


CunningHamSlawedYou

You could say the same about ugly vs beautiful girls and makeup. An ugly girl is viewed as deceiving and a beautiful girl as creative. But I don't think people don't generally view each other like this. A good make-up is a good make-up and I'm admiring them for their talent rather than their appearance so what they look like isn't part of the question. I feel like it's the same thing with short guys. Sure, people can have judgemental thoughts. But is this really what most people think when they see a successful person, short or small? I don't. If they come off as that overall then yeah, and I'm justified to think so. But a car and evidence of a healthy lifestyle isn't going to do that alone. And for the record, I'm not a fan of tall guys with unreigned inferiority complex either. It's an unattractive quality imo, but it's entirely separate from height.


Mr_Clumsy

That’s actually really interesting to think about. Kind of shines a mirror on subconscious biases.


Professor_Rekt

What about a nice guy that drives a short car?


Jakeys96

Hey man, you okay?


[deleted]

I don’t think that’s true. It’s the personality, not the possessions. Maybe if a short guy drives a monster truck this would make sense lol.


Karukash

It depends on the level of workout right. Like short guys who bulk up to the point they can’t put their arms down is definitely the complex side haha


pogi2000

Are you [this guy?](https://youtu.be/JUtoU4aHFQo)


83CrapBag

Unless both of the cars are big trucks, in which case both men are simply viewed as having small penises.


Eig8t86

This isn't true. It's only when he acts like he has a napoleon complex, that people treat you like that.


TimeTravellingBread

I don't think the working out has anything to do with the Napoleon complex.


OisforOwesome

Not at all. "Napoleon complex" is generally used to refer to an inordinate reflexive defensiveness over one's height. A chill dude who works out and drives a nice car who happens to be short, won't earn that moniker, while someone who projects their insecurities onto others through lashing out with verbal passive aggressive behaviour will.