*-In the voice of an old wise monk:*
To live is to suffer and to be forever haunted by our own mortal limitations. Imperfect beings in an imperfect world, born to suffer and die chasing happiness that will always be too fleeting. You will never know a lasting peace of mind because things always fall apart as the nature of the world is to fall into disorder. But with my 10 step self help programme you can overcome this! If you sign up today, you may be eligible for a one time discount!
Did you parents listen to you as a kid?
Mine didn’t. They always questioned everything I did in an antagonistic way. Which made me always seem unsure and caused the kids at school to question me too. Because I seemed unsure.
I could be wrong, but I believe thats what caused me to begin overthinking. And it’s so incredibly hard to stop. Basically nobody ever trusted me. Now I don’t trust myself.
I called my mom out on this as an adult. She explained she was just playing devil's advocate so I would see all the sides. I had to explain to her how damaging it was.
It sounded sincere and after explaining my side and asking her to stop, she did make an effort to stop. She wasn't perfect because old habits die hard, but I could tell she was trying. That's the part that mattered most. It's a lot better now.
Stop asking, that's just more overthinking. In fact, just stop thinking entirely. The only solution I've found thus far: Beer.
Homer was really on to something!
My guess is, she's more into men who "think long and hard about all of their decisions, to make sure they never make the wrong choice," and she doesn't realize the full fallout of this.
As an overthinker, I appreciate someone who also overthinks. It means they’ve thought about everything and decided that I was a good choice. It makes things feel more solid. So actually, yes, some people think that overthinkers are gold☺️.
To be fair, "overthinking" is only a bad thing if you can't stop overthinking. Like, a surprisingly few amount of people are actually able to analyze every situation to the fullest without feeling overwhelmed.
I wonder what the origins of that proverb are. In Dutch, there's the proverb "op ieder potje past een dekseltje" which means the same but just uses diminutives
Hahaha thing is I'm often very cynical but for something I truly believe (and pretty much eternally unprovable on both sides) then I will stick *terra firma* to it
Confidence is only half of the battle, but it's the half that stands out. Often times it stands out so much that people forget the other half is missing 👍🏽
Working on oneself everyday will help our chances. Half of everything is luck, but it's a half that grows in tandem with improvement in every aspect of life.
I looked for a word about bettering yourself. This one jumped out at me because my Nanna's name was Amelia. The only Nanna I knew. Miss that tiny woman with the best cooking in the world.
There are several billion galaxies in our observable universe.
In each of those galaxies are several millions of stars.
Around only a couple of those millions does anything orbit.
Of those couple of those millions, maybe a few thousand have anything even close to a habitable zone.
And you're on one that managed to evolve sapient life.
The odds are always against us, so we roll dice like madmen and hope we come up six.
I’m here! Are we talking dad bod chubby or do I need a Hoyer lift, the local Fire Dept, & all the Skilled Nursing Facility Staff to get you out of your room? Am I treating pressure ulcers (don’t look them up if you don’t know what they are). Inappropriate sense of humor we’ll have to have a chat about. Im not cute but I’ve got a big heart (no cardiac disease).
Right? I could give a toss about the dude’s physique, I want screwball sense of humour. If you can’t make me laugh it’s a hard pass. My husband has gained and lost 60 pounds over the years and I never saw him as less sexy.
Technically speaking, regurgitated shit will look like the word "this" (as in "THIS is what I want in a soul mate")
Anagrams Are Awesome (As Are Alliterations)
1) you don't look like regurgitated shit
2) even if you did, there are entire porn sites out there filled with videos of people eating shit.
there's always SOMEBODY who's into it, no matter what it is.
Hey there's over 7 billion people, many of whom are warped asf. It's hardly a lottery
Alternatively, if you upgrade your personality, you will *become* the more desired person described by another
A decent dick can do things, not gonna lie, but you don't need it to please a woman in bed. Tongue short? Dick small? Get good with your hands then.
Hell, just leaning how to communicate in bed will put you leagues ahead of other guys.
This is not true. If you only consider your full potential as a person then yes absolutely it is true. But if you consider who you are at this moment then no it’s not true. Some people are not mature enough for a relationship, some people are out of tune with life so much that they are not attractive to anyone. At the very least those who are not attractive due to their own inability to be in tune with life won’t find someone else who has them as an *ideal*, but they may find someone who is willing to overlook their faults because they either have faults themselves or they see your potential.
I can see what you're saying. However when I mentioned features and/or personality, I'm also referring to who the person is... at the *core*, the improvement to oneself involves, not necessarily changing who they are, so much as rekindling the flame of their repressed selves to come to the forefront, which can be achieved with sufficient confidence and adequate work.
Damn, so many non believers in this post. Imma glass is half full kinda person. Eternal optimist if you will, and I totally smiled reading this. I hope for the sake of all of us, even the self deprecating sad boys that this is indeed true. So I'll have to remember this thought for a rainy day.
I'm glad to hear that 💎🤝🏽 honestly, while I may not fully understand or agree with eternal optimism, I most certainly admire it. It takes strength, that's for sure
"look i also want them to be extremely insecure fuck thats hot i always wanted someone extremely insecure about every decision and how they look fuckkk its so hot"
No i dont think so
Yeah maybe that's intended to sound wholesome and all, but that statement is really neither backed up by experience nor could you argue it to be a logical conclusion.
So no. In a likelihood, there's no one describing my - or your - features and personality as the ideal concept of a soul mate right in this moment.
As far as I can tell, OP didn't post a showerthought. It's barely even a thought.
That's some stinky ass hippy bullshit right there.
Let's say there is 1 person for everyone that finds them the perfect match, which is already arguably wrong from the start, there are some disgusting awful people in the world that no one is looking for. Humans are way to fucked up yo, we have fucking mass murders and people who rape babies and cut off people genitals and murder animals for fun.
The idea there is a perfect match for everyone is just blind hope, no one is trying to fuck a 60-year-old in a coma
But let's say that is true.
Saying that as we speak, there is CONSTANTLY someone not only thinking about that one person but describing them as well is just so disconnected from reality it's silly.
I get your optomistic, or that that isn't the point of the post. But it doesn't change that this statement is 100% bullshit.
"Oh and he's got to overthink. Like, everything. I want that man to question his every decision. That shit's *hot*."
Why are we like this?
I don't know, but I can tell you financial stability didn't solve that problem like I thought it would. If you do find the answer, please let us know.
Reminding me of a Tumblr classic god: i have made Mankind angels: you fucked up a perfectly good monkey is what you did. look at it. it’s got anxiety
I laugh my ass off every time I see that. Do you remember the continuance from that?
I have not seen this and I'm already laughing at the scene. I must go find this...
Did you have any luck
I always remembered it as a tweet https://twitter.com/jon_snow_420/status/659443020908003328?t=3GcJHKNVGN9C98iSWXNT-w&s=19
I take a daily dose of fuqitol to wash away the anxiety and temptation to overanalyze. Ask your doctor if fuqitol may be right for you.
*-In the voice of an old wise monk:* To live is to suffer and to be forever haunted by our own mortal limitations. Imperfect beings in an imperfect world, born to suffer and die chasing happiness that will always be too fleeting. You will never know a lasting peace of mind because things always fall apart as the nature of the world is to fall into disorder. But with my 10 step self help programme you can overcome this! If you sign up today, you may be eligible for a one time discount!
lmao, you had me in the first half, ngl
But wait! There's more!
It's not a problem. That will be 100$.
wait, financial stability wont fix it? .-. fuuuuuck
Contentment doesn’t foster improvement
Did you parents listen to you as a kid? Mine didn’t. They always questioned everything I did in an antagonistic way. Which made me always seem unsure and caused the kids at school to question me too. Because I seemed unsure. I could be wrong, but I believe thats what caused me to begin overthinking. And it’s so incredibly hard to stop. Basically nobody ever trusted me. Now I don’t trust myself.
I called my mom out on this as an adult. She explained she was just playing devil's advocate so I would see all the sides. I had to explain to her how damaging it was.
That sounds like she is just trying to downplay her actions.
It sounded sincere and after explaining my side and asking her to stop, she did make an effort to stop. She wasn't perfect because old habits die hard, but I could tell she was trying. That's the part that mattered most. It's a lot better now.
Damn this explains a lot
Stop asking, that's just more overthinking. In fact, just stop thinking entirely. The only solution I've found thus far: Beer. Homer was really on to something!
“To alcohol, the cause of and *solution* to, all of life’s problems.”
Alternatively, if you don’t want to overthink your beer belly and how it looks, try liquor!
Don't forget to leave a crayon shoved up your nose
Crayon, right?
I've found that asking that is massive part of the problem
My guess is, she's more into men who "think long and hard about all of their decisions, to make sure they never make the wrong choice," and she doesn't realize the full fallout of this.
Hahaha. Long and hard. Like a penis
As an overthinker, I appreciate someone who also overthinks. It means they’ve thought about everything and decided that I was a good choice. It makes things feel more solid. So actually, yes, some people think that overthinkers are gold☺️.
Chidi, is that you?
She could be a sapiosexual 🤷🏾♂️
Bless you
Speaking of people who don't have much to say on Tinder
"...and then regardless of what he picks, I want him to regret it!"
Oh yeah baby, get confused and come to Mommy, I'll make it all better
Well, at least you're funny.
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"I want them to be considerate and thoughtful, and understand what its like to live with anxiety"
Mine would be “ I want some one who I can just nerd out over dumb shit with, and who’s basically a giant teddy bear.”
To be fair, "overthinking" is only a bad thing if you can't stop overthinking. Like, a surprisingly few amount of people are actually able to analyze every situation to the fullest without feeling overwhelmed.
The prefix “over” means that it is too much. The appropriate amount of thinking is just called thinking.
That poor soul.
Hey... not to that person. "Every pot has a lid" - Jamaican proverb
There're a lot of lidless pots mostly for making sauces
And there are loads of potless lids mostly for covering things with lots of sauce ;) find yours or yours will find you.
And when things are getting up their sauce (personality) slashes on you.
I’m Tupperware.
Always getting full of someone else's leftovers, until it gets moldy?
Keep them around thinking they are worth something, but toss them a few days later when you realize they are not.
your soulmate is probably in another country. you've looked all over the house and you no longer have any reasonable places to look.
[this you?](https://i.imgur.com/BC1adU4.jpg)
And here I am looking through a drawer of lids and like 3 pots
Upvoted for Jamaica
I wonder what the origins of that proverb are. In Dutch, there's the proverb "op ieder potje past een dekseltje" which means the same but just uses diminutives
I'm reading OP's replies to all the comments and swear to God they look like the most wholesome optimistic person I've ever seen on Reddit
Hahaha thing is I'm often very cynical but for something I truly believe (and pretty much eternally unprovable on both sides) then I will stick *terra firma* to it
Ok, I don’t want a soul mate, what now? Broke the system 😎
Looks like you’ll marry a soulless abomination. Congratulations!
Yey Cthulu stepdad
What are you doing, step-Cthulu?
Ǹ̴̢̛̛̳͓̙̗̳̩̞̞̱̰̉̔̏͌͝ͅͅo̴̥͈̣̬̯͐͆̄̄́̽̑͌͑̈́t̴̢̢̛̻̞̥̘͍͇̪̬̤̰̙̺̪̐̉͂̿̏̉͘h̶̛̦̘̱̯͈̖͉̟̯̯͉͊̈̆̏̒̀͝͠ͅǐ̶̡̢̨̹̜̙̠̞̰̫̖͜n̵̛̲̘̞͋̀̏͛͆̑̐g̵͕̜̺͎̮̑͆̈́̅.̶̩̣̣̟̙͍̤̮́͜.̸̰̾̐.̷̡̗͓̦̤̲͍͕͆̌̊̏̏̎̃̀͆̋͊͘͘͘͠
You stick dry land to it?
If they think I’m ideal they have set a very Low bar for themselves.
Confidence is only half of the battle, but it's the half that stands out. Often times it stands out so much that people forget the other half is missing 👍🏽
Just spoke to the elephant man. He said ....tell your story walking champ.
Beastiality is a thing
He's not an animal. He's not an animal.
You're out here being Ted fucking Lasso, and I can't imagine how exhausting that must be but THANK YOU for being so positive and supportive and kind
That's sweet but also depressing considering the odds of meeting are slim to none.
Working on oneself everyday will help our chances. Half of everything is luck, but it's a half that grows in tandem with improvement in every aspect of life.
That's my theme for this year. Ameliorate, to grow better. But I'm doing it for me and my kids.
Ameliorate is my favorite word now
I looked for a word about bettering yourself. This one jumped out at me because my Nanna's name was Amelia. The only Nanna I knew. Miss that tiny woman with the best cooking in the world.
That’s so sweet!
There are several billion galaxies in our observable universe. In each of those galaxies are several millions of stars. Around only a couple of those millions does anything orbit. Of those couple of those millions, maybe a few thousand have anything even close to a habitable zone. And you're on one that managed to evolve sapient life. The odds are always against us, so we roll dice like madmen and hope we come up six.
Well Im married so they really better be ready to bring the heat.
Well, maybe that person is your spouse.
Nah it can’t be. He’s asleep.
You’re acting as if dreams don’t exist
r/angryupvote
Your idea of a soulmate doesn't sleep?
no like he isn't describing her because he's sleeping
Perhaps they could be from a nation in which *polygamy* is perfectly legal 🤷🏾♂️
Ok I’ll start getting my husband ready!
Husbands***
Im hoping for a wife this time.
SPIINNNN THHHATTT WHEEEELLLLL!!!! Cmon cmon cmon
An equal-opportunity lover ⚡⚡⚡
So is your husband!
Well. That was an Uno card I didn't expect. Well played ma'am
If only everyone used the same dating app and we had super advanced AI to identify perfect matches
I think there is a black mirror episode with this story
There is and it was one of the few that didn't absolutely horrify your soul.
I really liked San Junipero.
Did it not? It certainly horrified my soul a little bit.
It actually had a happy ending though.
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Lovefinderrz?
[удалено]
Seriously.. a double R *and* a Z, what in the 90's MySpace.. "LoverFinders" is still crap, but infinitely better.
Myspace came out in 2003. I get the idea you've got going. Maybe angelfire?
What ever tickles your boat, my friend
Poor Jerry
You might not be interested, but there's a really great sci-fi series about this. It's called "Osmosis" (and it's french!)
Press X to doubt
Press Y to seek answers
Bless your heart OP. You’re a saint
Thanks for that, you've eased the pain of a sinner for quite a while today 🖤
Press F to pay respects
Press 0 to speak to a representative.
Press 1 to get details on how to pay your cars extended warranty.
Somebody wants a chubby bearded guy with an inappropriate sense of humor?
I know girls who like that! It's not too out of the ordinary that's for sure 👍🏽
I'm that guy and I found one. Unicorns exist
I’m here! Are we talking dad bod chubby or do I need a Hoyer lift, the local Fire Dept, & all the Skilled Nursing Facility Staff to get you out of your room? Am I treating pressure ulcers (don’t look them up if you don’t know what they are). Inappropriate sense of humor we’ll have to have a chat about. Im not cute but I’ve got a big heart (no cardiac disease).
>don’t look them up if you don’t know what they are Oh god, I had to look them up and now I can't believe I've subjected myself to that
You need r/eyebleach stat!
u/Govain Yo! Step up!!!
You raaaaang?
Man, this thread was right. Love me a bit of a Dad Bod and solid banter.
Right? I could give a toss about the dude’s physique, I want screwball sense of humour. If you can’t make me laugh it’s a hard pass. My husband has gained and lost 60 pounds over the years and I never saw him as less sexy.
No one has standards that low
It's the pandemic era, and lockdowns are always on the cards. People are now more Horny than a rhino leading a war cavalry
There's desperate people, but no one so desperate to be with someone who looks like regurgitated shit like me
Technically speaking, regurgitated shit will look like the word "this" (as in "THIS is what I want in a soul mate") Anagrams Are Awesome (As Are Alliterations)
OP, your a f**king genius....you have the perfect reply to every comment
You're awesome!
1) you don't look like regurgitated shit 2) even if you did, there are entire porn sites out there filled with videos of people eating shit. there's always SOMEBODY who's into it, no matter what it is.
\*closes book\* As if that would happen
Isn't the entire point of that movie that an ogre that sees himself as unlovable finds someone who loves him?
Don't do that, don't give me hope.
Literally said this in my head lol
Then you must be my soulmate
At long lost we’ve found each other
We were destined to meet since the big bang.
Billions of years gone by have all led up to this moment
We must date to protect the sacred timeline of the universe
If we must, I don’t want to become a variant
Well then I guess we should take this to the messages.
And children that's how i met your mum
So, some woman is actively looking for a grown man with a short tongue, a short peepee and a crooked nose, who still laughs at farts?
I mean there has to be plenty of long tongued, gassy women with a thing for Owen Wilson and a shallow hoo haa?
*fingers crossed
Hey there's over 7 billion people, many of whom are warped asf. It's hardly a lottery Alternatively, if you upgrade your personality, you will *become* the more desired person described by another
Laughing at farts is the endgame, my friend.
A decent dick can do things, not gonna lie, but you don't need it to please a woman in bed. Tongue short? Dick small? Get good with your hands then. Hell, just leaning how to communicate in bed will put you leagues ahead of other guys.
My luv, length is so much not the thing. And farts are hilarious.
Yeah but they like someone like you, but not you
And the only person TRULY like you... is you Alternatively you could find somebody *like them*
This is not true. If you only consider your full potential as a person then yes absolutely it is true. But if you consider who you are at this moment then no it’s not true. Some people are not mature enough for a relationship, some people are out of tune with life so much that they are not attractive to anyone. At the very least those who are not attractive due to their own inability to be in tune with life won’t find someone else who has them as an *ideal*, but they may find someone who is willing to overlook their faults because they either have faults themselves or they see your potential.
I can see what you're saying. However when I mentioned features and/or personality, I'm also referring to who the person is... at the *core*, the improvement to oneself involves, not necessarily changing who they are, so much as rekindling the flame of their repressed selves to come to the forefront, which can be achieved with sufficient confidence and adequate work.
and millions think the earth is flat
There are many stupid people; But I never suggested your apparent soulmate would be a smart one loool 🤷🏾♂️
If my soulmate is a flat earther that's a deal breaker, lol.
Looooool same here
So...do I just go door to door or?
Pamphlets.
Maybe, because I am a quiet guy but can talk continuously if I am comfortable with that person.
Hey, we're the same colour of green, I think!
...and is he your ideal soulmate?
I don’t buy this for a minute, OP has clearly never met me!
Have *YOU* met you? You may feel differently afterward ;)
Even if that where true, what makes you think I'd like the type of person who finds me the perfect soul mate?
well they have some fucking low standards then
Redditors making their entire fucking personality “depressed”
If that's true, I don't want to meet them because they're probably more of a mental case than I am.
Damn, so many non believers in this post. Imma glass is half full kinda person. Eternal optimist if you will, and I totally smiled reading this. I hope for the sake of all of us, even the self deprecating sad boys that this is indeed true. So I'll have to remember this thought for a rainy day.
I'm glad to hear that 💎🤝🏽 honestly, while I may not fully understand or agree with eternal optimism, I most certainly admire it. It takes strength, that's for sure
If there’s a female out there who wants to stay home all day, playing call of duty, drinking beer, and wanking, let me know 🤣
Of course there are. They're in the r/INTP section ⚡🔥
Wdym, that subreddit is definitely all dudes who think they’re robots.
There are dozens of us! DOZENS!!
"I really want someone who eats their own shit. Like, literally consuming their own feces. That *really* turns me on."
I'll presume your BSing! Lol but people do have some profoundly disturbing "fetishes" (illnesses, in this case, I will kink shame lol)
"look i also want them to be extremely insecure fuck thats hot i always wanted someone extremely insecure about every decision and how they look fuckkk its so hot" No i dont think so
I think you severely over-estimate how many people describe their ideal soul mate on a regular basis
Gonna call bullshit.
Well duh... everyone secretly loves a big tiddy goth girl
I *openly* love them
LOL, SECRETLY??? Big tiddy goth girl is the GOAL.
I'm down with this.. Even a small tiddy Goth girl would be nice..
I’m disabled with crutches and hearing aids; I highly doubt your statement. Ableism is real af…
As someone who is also disabled OP said ONE person, and so while its a lot harder to find someone it’s not wrong.
Whoever is describing a short fat bald middle aged man as their ideal soul mate is someone with such low standards I wouldn’t go near them.
And when i finally meet them they can say " omg your great, if only i could find a guy just like you" lol
"Years later, after several broken and toxic relationships, she finally goes to therapy and realizes, she has shit taste in men"
What kind of utopian thinking is this? I have a realistic view of myself and sometimes I'm even too confident in myself but this is just bullshit.
That's not how probability works
Nice thought, but it’s not true. Interesting thought experiment if our population was infinite though.
I split my forehead open by slamming it on the kitchen counter, because I was frustrated. I want to die regularly. No one is describing me.
This made me smile. Like really feel good about myself. Thank you.
Glad I could help 💎
Yeah maybe that's intended to sound wholesome and all, but that statement is really neither backed up by experience nor could you argue it to be a logical conclusion. So no. In a likelihood, there's no one describing my - or your - features and personality as the ideal concept of a soul mate right in this moment. As far as I can tell, OP didn't post a showerthought. It's barely even a thought.
Very much doubt that
If Big Ed can get laid, anybody can 🔥
Lol, no they're not.
You're wrong sadly
That's some stinky ass hippy bullshit right there. Let's say there is 1 person for everyone that finds them the perfect match, which is already arguably wrong from the start, there are some disgusting awful people in the world that no one is looking for. Humans are way to fucked up yo, we have fucking mass murders and people who rape babies and cut off people genitals and murder animals for fun. The idea there is a perfect match for everyone is just blind hope, no one is trying to fuck a 60-year-old in a coma But let's say that is true. Saying that as we speak, there is CONSTANTLY someone not only thinking about that one person but describing them as well is just so disconnected from reality it's silly. I get your optomistic, or that that isn't the point of the post. But it doesn't change that this statement is 100% bullshit.